Homestuck/Funny

> SEEK WEBCOMIC-RELATED HILARITIES

My, there's quite a list of knee-slappers! Feel free to examine them in more detail.

Due to the constantly updating nature of Homestuck, all spoilers are left unmarked.

NOTE: Should this page be categorized into Acts like the Nightmare Fuel and Awesome pages? Just saying.

---

• The comic where you tell WV to "sacrifice his mayoral sash for more cables" is really hilarious.
• A minor Hilarious in Hindsight joke aimed at the Homestuck command-entering player with John without arms. You read the player commanding him to retrieve his arms, even moving a cake off his chest out of sympathy for his lack of arms. After seeing John hold his fake arms with his real ones, cue the player's own Face Palm for wasting Video Game Caring Potential and becoming Trolled by assumed Unfortunate Character Design.
• After picking up enough tools to get down to business, John plans next to do something extremely meaningful.
• Homestuck had me laughing my head off after John played 52 Pickup.

The peanut gallery over there sure is getting a kick out of it. You are allergic to their scorn.

• John: Open large present. Oh hell no.
• An old one, but a good one:

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: you can see me, right.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">

• • Leading up to that: Rose is having trouble learning the interface.
  • Later gets something of a Call Back when Jade has similar issues trying to retrieve a towel from the toilet.
  • Given another Call Back even later on when John accidently gets Jade's globe teleported to outer space.
  • And, yet again, there's another Call Back when Karkat and Terezi enter the game.
• John's first fight against a single imp. The best part is that he spends so much time failing that it takes him three non-consecutive Strife updates to finish.
• "DON'T MOVE OR THE POGO GETS IT"
• This page, and the five pages following it. WV is not good at this interface and poor John is oblivious.
• Dave's most puppet-centric chat with Rose yet.
  • Somehow, it's even funnier the second time around from Dave's perspective.
  • It does, however, become somewhat terrifying when you consider that Dave's speech is directly lifted from one of Andrew Hussie's own chatlogs. ^{[dead link]}
  • The highlight, of course, is Rose rapping about it. There must be more of this in the future.
  • Also, these two pages leading up to the conversation.

Yeah, there was pretty much no way there wasn't going to be a bunch of puppets in there.

• What happens when WV presses Tab on his keyboard?
• WV: Lead your men to victory!
  • Which becomes actually pretty sad once you found out how he got there.
• After playing "Hot and Cold" (mostly cold, freezing, frozen fucking tundra) with Jade's Memory modus and getting three of the wrong items from her deck, we get this gem:

"Congratulations, you advance your matching skill to the new level: YUKON HERO: LEGACY OF THE FROSTBITE AMPUTEE."

• Dave's chat with Jade counts.

TG: if kangaroo rat yiff twice plz

• MOST SHOCKING TWIST EVER.
• The terrifying secret of Fruit Gushers.
  • WILD CHERRY APESHIT APOCALYPSE
• Rose discovers the contents of what she thought was her mother's room, and her reaction to the discovery.
• The way the comic uses language is always quite amusing, but the giant steam-iron warhammer called The Wrinklefucker made me giggle out loud.
• Dave completely annihilating adiosToreador's attempt to troll him.

TG: thats what you see / a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together / radially effervescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine / turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong

• • Made more hilarious by the ending, that being that adiosToreador blocks Dave at the end of that conversation, which is the opposite of how many conversations with the trolls go.
• The bit with WV's can town was a command, but AR has a completely random freakout:

You need to take a moment to wear something ridiculous before you continue your spiel... ORDER IN THE COURT. YOU WILL HAVE ORDER IN THIS COURTROOM.

• I AM THE LAW WHOOPS
• Jack: Kill John's dad yourself. ==> ==> ==> ==> You release the prisoner. He is free to go. Of course, this is only funny in context.
  • Even the first line of the sequence is hilarious:

Here, stick this in your pipe and bleed to death slowly.

• > SS: Be Hearts Boxcars. You are now Clubs Deuce.
  • > CD: Forget you are CD. Believe you are Hearts Boxcars. You suddenly remember you are Diamonds Droog.
  • > SS: Return to being Hearts Boxcars. Spades Slick cannot return to being Hearts Boxcars because obviously Diamonds Droog is too busy being Clubs Deuce.
• "Wait...this is a BULL PENIS CANE?"
• "Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty."
  • Stitch says drop the livestock knob and settle the hell down. He says you do realize C4 is a stable explosive and won't detonate with gunfire, right? You say oh.
    • This somehow makes it even funnier (the part in question starts around 2:46).
• YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOHSHIT.
• Slick's drawing of Snowman here.
• Hearts Boxcars: Attempt to eat Eggs. And nobody changes their hardboiled expression.
• Jenga!
• ROBO-SLAP
  • Immediately preceded by a slight CMOA for Dave as he figures out what's going on with Jade and cleverly instructs her to slap herself awake.
  • Rose's reaction when Jade mentions the incident also qualifies.
  • IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
• The device has been reduced to an utterly useless heap of shit.
• Rose: Answer troll.

<span style=" color:

1. b536de;">TT: I suggest you serve these crisp bunches of honey and verbal annihilation to him as part of a complete breakfast.

• I got a present for you Casey.

CG: JOHN WHAT THE WET BAG OF HUMAN HORSE SHIT TO THE FACE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.

• John and Karkat's conversation about Terezi:

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: OK IF YOU TALK TO HER AGAIN WHEN SHE TRIES HATCHING MORE PLANS GIVE HER A MESSAGE INTO THE PAST FOR ME.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: ok.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: ITS FOR OUR CANDLE LIGHT HATE DATE.

• • Immediately afterwards, John proceeds to inform Terezi of said conversation:

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: oh, he said to give you a message...
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: OH >:?
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: he wants you to touch his bone lump or something.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: WH4T!!!
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: and that he's pretty much basically in love with you.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: W41T
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: D1D H3 4CTU4LLY S4Y TH4T
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: 1N CONF1D3NC3
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: yeah, i dunno, pretty much.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: C4N YOU COPY 3X4CTLY WH4T H3 S41D
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: ohhh no, we're not going down that road!

• • The term "candle light hate date" pops up again here. Its usage isn't any less humorous.
  • Kanaya and Eridan have basically the same conversation later on. It's still funny.
• So all you have to do is wake up and learn to play the rain!
• Davesprite. Also a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
• Terezi thinks that Dave is actually Wheeler.
• CD?'s hat, especially in its introduction.
• Dream Rose knocks Lil'Cal out of Dream Dave's tower. Dream Dave is relieved, and it looks like it's curtains for-

You're not sure which laws are being broken, but it is probably a lot.

• Now what in the hell is going on in here.
• Every alchemization involving Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.
  • The underlings all look kind of put off by it though. You're kind of weirding them out.
• "This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols."
• [S] John: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter THIS IS STUPID yeah right!
  • All while carcinoGeneticist looks on in disbelief. Or bonks his head in time with the drumbeats.
  • I have trouble believing that this will not remain the funniest webcomic moment of all time.
  • TAKE US THERE CASEY * salamander drum solo*
  • a flashing "HERE COMES THE GUITAR SOLO", followed by a voice making guitar mouth noises. Yes.
  • This was especially ridiculous as AH had previously promised that the next flash page would be the long-hyped up 4/13 one-year anniversary flash and the next command was for the End of Act 4 It'll be a few more pages.
• This conversation between Dave and Terezi.

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: god so beautiful to look at with my perfect eyesight
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: C4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS?
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: yeah thats fine

• • Every time Terezi makes a new "image" of Dave is hilarious in its own way. Also heartwarming, in its own, very weird way.
• Just seeing Dream Jade slapping Dream John in rhythm to the beats of the music was particularly funny in this mainly sad flash.
  • And this makes it a Nightmare Fueled Crowning Moment of Funnily Heartwarmingly Awesome Sadness.
• The entirety of the Troll Intermission is shaping up to be like this.
  • GOD. DAMMIT.
  • Anything connected to Gamzee's MIRACLE MODUS. It's so beautiful.
    • You wonder if you can just...just sort of reach over...and...
  • You only stop when you smell tears.
  • See? The coin has exonerated him. What coin? The prosecution sees no coin. SHE'S BLIND, REMEMBER?
• carcinoGeneticist's [CG'S] computer exploded.
• Equius strongly believes in the Alternian caste system. Gamzee is of a higher caste than him. And then they talk.
  • Gamzee's admission to fraternizing with the imps is itself all kinds of Crowning Moments.

<span style=" color:

1. 2b0057;">TC: bUt NoW wE kInD oF sEtTlEd DoWn AnD mE aNd ThE iMpS aRe ShArInG sOmE pIe
   

<span style=" color:

1. 2b0057;">TC: tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy, I lIkE tHeM.

• • His conversation with Vriska. Oh god.

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">ROBO SLAP!

• • And now his conversations with Aradia.
• SHE HAS WHAT?!
• Vriska ask her MAGIC CUE BALL (whose answers can only be seen by x-ray vision... or vision eight-fold) if she should be worried about Terezi's threat.

YES
Ok, little ball. Fine. If you're so smart, then answer this! How is it going to happen!
HOW????????
I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE

Cue the ball exploding in her face.

• The last update Andrew did before leaving for a week begins here and ends with, uh, this. But it easily overlaps with Nightmare Fuel and possibly CMOH and/or Tear Jerker, but really it's just such an over the top scene that it's simply incredibly hilarious in spite of all that. What makes it even better is the aforementioned fact that it's the last update in a week. Andrew's comment in the thread:

But I guess all this can be discussed into the ground in the coming week. Over what shall heretofore be known as THE WEEK OF THE GREAT ROBOSMOOCH OF 2010.

• • The facial expressions are just... oh god.
• Nepeta's 'Shipping Wall'. oh yessssss!
• Okay, this is Vriska to Tavros, so there's absolutely no way it's anything but subjective, but Vriska's absurd insistence that Tavros apologize for being a cripple leads to this panel:

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">aG: Say you're sorry for being a cripple! Wheeeeeeee!

• • I think it's funny that even the imp looks sorry for him.
  • Equally subjective was the preceding moment where Vriska built Tavros a tower made entirely of stairs which she expects him to climb as well as his comically understated reaction:

AT: i THINK THIS, iS,

AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

• RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.
• Kanaya's mediation tactics.

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head
   

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">AG: No, don't!
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">GA: Im Still Learning The Interface
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment

• The narration when Tavros crashes through Vriska's bedroom wall is hilarious.
  • He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all.
  • Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?
  • Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy.
  • Followed by this kiss
• From the Homestuck wiki, the plot summaries for each episode of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff are quite a delight to behold. Lordy, I chortled for days.
• Eridan and Feferi: Do something ridiculous. B<>NP
• Spades Slick is not very good at giving sympathy.

There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.

• • And on the same page, Gamzee in the background, going HONK.
  • Later, Slick starts to slap Karkat, while Gamzee continues to be chill.
• After many characters are grossed out from drinking something, Eridan... is not, because Faygo actually isn't that bad. It's just soda.
• Feferi revives Sollux. The reactions really seal this one, especially Slick's.

Goddamn troll kids. Every time you turn around they're smoochin' each other. Makes a man want to stab his own gut and puke blood.

• Troll Andrew. Well, actually it's Andrew wearing gray paint and another MSPA shirt, except this shirt belonged to a girl character.
  • How meta can things get?
  • Uh... Wolf? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
  • Andrew goes mad with power, and punishes the reader by making them read all the expository texts on troll romance back to back. AAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • Wait a sec, we've seen that pose before...
  • And he spikes Lil' Cal. BOOYEAH.
• Karkat sets up a bulletin board using Trollian so he can send memos to all the other trolls, but it turns out to be incredibly frustrating and impractical because of weird time shit. When his future self signs in to tell him this is dumb, he bans him. Yes, he bans his future self.
  • He does it again in his second memo.

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG: GET TO THE POINT.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG banned <span style=" color:
   
2. 626262;">FCG from responding to memo.

• • • And then this happens:

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG: HOLY HELL.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG]609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FCG: NO YOU WON'T.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FCG banned <span style=" color:
   
2. 626262;">CCG from responding to memo.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">FCG closed memo.

• • • Yes. Karkat from the future (Almost a month in the future, actually) banned current Karkat and closed the memo himself.
      • Basically, the memos in their entirety. All the memos. All of them.
        • Except for Aradia's memos to her past duplicates, which are more awesome/horrifying.
• You cannot do it. You cannot kiss the girl.
  • Immediately prior to that, Hearts Boxcars becoming infuriated that Tavros will not kiss her and threatening him over it.
  • We all knew it was inevitable, but it's still really damn funny.
• [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004477 [S...]BAHJ]
• [S] Make Her Pay qualifies as several Crowning Moments, but it only becomes funny at the very end. Vriska, after getting the Blue Blood beaten out of her by Aradia in revenge, wakes up in Prospit...only to have Terezi smack her upside the head.
• Act 5 is over! What's next? Act 5 act 2!
• The real reason Karkat decided to troll John backwards: He was so embarrassed by inadvertently revealing his hatecrush that he decided he could never again speak to John at a point in the timeline when John would remember it.
  • Also from the same conversation, Karkat unloading a blistering list of epithets, paragraph long, against his much-despised hatecrush for the first time, only to be completely derailed by John's cheery "hi karkat!" It only gets funnier from there, leading up to the reveal of said hatecrush.

EB: you mean platonic hate?

• • "HUMAN ROMANCE SURE IS WEIRD."
  • "See you soon!"
  • Reexamining the video, John is wearing a spade shirt for most of it. Karkat develops/realizes Kismetic feelings as he watches. Now go to Terezi watching Dave....who has a heart shirt on.
• R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN. Just... yeah. Terezi opens the memo to discuss the stupidity of Karkat's plan to troll the humans and it only gets better from there. Karkat from closer and closer in the past keeps on interrupting until he comes over and starts messing with Terezi's keypad. They ban and unban and reban each other until finally at the end:

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">FGC: 1 JUST THOUGHT 1 WOULD 4DD ON3 L4ST R3M4RK TO TH1S S1LL1N3SS
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">FGC: 4 R3M4RK OF R34SSUR4NC3!
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">CGC: OHH >:?
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">FGC: Y3S, YOU SHOULD TROLL TH3 HUM4NS
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">FGC: 1T W1LL B3 FUN >:]

• This Page helped add some levity to the previous page when This Troper was expecting the worst.
• It should be obvious by now that any conversation between human and troll will be worthy of inclusion on this page. This exchange is no exception.

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: ok, i will be sure to let my guard down.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: psyche!!!!!!!!!
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: oh damn, that was 9 !'s.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: !!!!!!!1
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: shit!
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: never mind.

• John dispatches some imps, but not in the way you might expect.
  • Following that, John examines his room:

Look at this mess.
Will you just LOOK at this slightly bigger mess than usual.

• John and Vriska discussing the different roles that buckets play in human and troll society. John, as always, is Completely Unaware Of The Point.
  • The misunderstanding leads John to kick an imp in the face for carrying a broom. Being culturally sensitive is really hard work.
  • Following the vein of cultural confusion over pails/buckets, Kanaya is so perturbed when a bucket falls on Rose's head that she covers her monitor in shame.
• When Kanaya asks Karkat how she should measure how well she is trolling Rose, he suggests using a FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER. It turns out such a meter actually exists.
  • Later, it explodes. It simply cannot take this much horseshit.
• Way back when, Rose and Kanaya talked about a conversation that Kanaya supposedly edited. We finally see it, and Kanaya has edited it. In Her Own Way Of Typing.

TT: that's me! i am the rose human. look at me, i am so smart with all these snooty words and complicated things to say.
TT: i am the queen of books.
TT: I Am Also Infuriatingly Aloof
TT: And Difficult To Engage With
TT: When Maybe All The Other Person Wants To Do Is Maybe To Try To Be My Friend

• I dare you to find a better reaction face.
  • How about the same one on a different troll?
  • And again!
  • IT KEEPS HAPPENING!
• For those people who ordered a Troll shirt, it comes with some wise words from Tavros:

<span style=" color:

1. a15000;">AT: uHH, dON'T gET iN tHE rECUPERACOON, wHILE wEARING tHIS [sHIRT], sO yOU wON'T hAVE tO, uHH, cHANGE, ^[1]

• • Mine had some from Aradia:

<span style=" color:

1. a10000;">AA: i'm 0k with this shirt. maybe y0u are t00. 0r n0t. i'm 0kay with either possibility

• • Mine was from Terezi:

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC:TH1S SH1RT SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS, BUT DONT COUNT ON 1T TO M4SK TH3 PUTR1D ST3NCH OF YOUR D3C31T FROM TH3 PROS3CUT1ON, H3H3H3H3H3 >:]

• • I ordered the God Tier!John one:

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: well... i guess you probably can't do the windy thing, bit that's ok! you can be my trusty sidekick. i'll handle all the windy stuff.
   —Actually it said <span style=" color:
   
2. 0715cd;">the all windy stuff. which makes things even funnier in my book.

• • I got a Hero of Mind God Tier hoodie. My message was from Vriska:

<span style=" color:

1. 005682;">Hahahaha. You think you have what it takes to wear this???????? Don't you know you have to 8e strong and 8rave to wear this and not 8e an em8arrassment to yourself????????

• • I got the same message with the Hero of Space God Tier Tee. Not fully sure why.
• Oh sweet Cosbytop, you have been missed.

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: excuse me, but spending just a little quality time with my man bill here is not a w8stey w8ste at all.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: no amount of 8's in words will make that true.

• Don't forget to mention this token.

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: I am the Wind Waker. It's me.

• "It is the perfect crime."
• Fans of Homestuck had wanted to see a full Hero Mode Gamzee and but the closest they get is this. Andrew Hussie in reaction to fans posted this on his forum.
  • Gamzee got his full on Hero Mode in the comic now as well. Just as blurry.
    • And again here, not as blurry this time.
• John points out when Vriska accidentally uses NINE exclamation points. She is mortified.
  • And strangely, she is kind of adorable when embarassed. That only makes it funnier.
• Dave made this amazing comic for Terezi.

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: >:o
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: D4V3...
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: TH1S COM1C 1S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: YOU 4R3 4 R34LLY FUCK3D UP K1D
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: yeah ok whatever you say
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: fuckin aliens
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: (1T 1S F4NT4ST1C, 1 LOV3 1T)

• Dave's adorable hyperactive crocodile consorts make this page far funnier than it ought to be. It's even better in context: this page was immediately preceded by a page in which Terezi told him he was going to cry someday, but here it's hard to tell whether or not he finally lost his cool or his eyes are just irritated by all the onions slices.
• Terezi's four part D4NC3 P4RTY series.

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: i cant compete with this

• This update. You have to laugh at how such a simple phrase, such as, "I will make them pay" (for telling a minor "sekret") is so unbelievably bone chillingly scary when coming from Vriska.
• How did Vriska live without Nicolas Cage?
• So a coolkid, an ectobiologist and a troll all join a memo...
  • What makes this one great? You can tell that finally, Karkat isn't just being crabby and running all caps just out of habit. No, for the larger portion of the memo, you can clearly picture him abso-fucking-lutely furious for so many reasons.
    • Dave's reaction right after Karkat's opening speech

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: ok later windbag
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

• • Karkat's MATING DIAGRAM FOR MORONS.
    • And Dave's reaction to it.

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: and thats saying something
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST
   

(...)
<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with jade right now
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: no peeking k

• • Then you have Dave and John talking about how some of the Troll girls may like them

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do...
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE?????
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: doesnt concern you dude

• • Now available with voice acting.
  • Even better was this:

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: is that how it went down
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY DAVE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU)
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">?CG: FUCK OFF.
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">CTG: haha wow bingo

• • Because Dave is completely and totally correct.
• Karkat's reaction to finding a bucket in Alterniabound. (It's in the room where you see Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.)
  • Speaking of which... Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.
    • Much of Alterniabound is hilarious, especially Tavros disregarding Equius' warnings about stairs and pretty much all of Karkat's conversations with the other trolls, particularly Nepeta, Equius, and Gamzee.
    • Equius needs his own mention.

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">Equius: D --> Is this where we embrace jocularly, as if we are "bros"

• • • Karkat snarking about how predictable Vriska's dialogue has become.

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">VRISKA: Karkat! Man, you were out for a long time. I have made so many plans for these humans while you were asleep. Do you know how many plans have 8een made?
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: PROBABLY ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH PLANS AREN'T AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">VRISKA: Yes! Aaaaaaaall of them. So many irons too. Guess where the irons are!
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE...
   

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">VRISKA: They are........
   

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">VRISKA: IN
   

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">VRISKA: THE
   

<span style=" color:

1. 004183;">VRISKA: FIIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!!! ::::)
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

• • • "You cannot be Future Aradia because in the future, Future Aradia has exploded!"
      • It's even better in hindsight when the explosion's cause is revealed... and turns out to be a good thing.
    • Gamzee's dancing.
• The "meal" Nannaquin made for John, and his reaction.
• TT: Consider this your first lesson in showmanship.

==>

• • It's hard to say whether it's funnier before or after we see the damage for ourselves.
• Rose's conversation with Aradia.

color:#a10000:AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m<br/> AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it!<br/> AA: blah BL00P blee BLUH!@#$%^&*()_+<br/> AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace??? + ?*rand(413^612)<br/> AA: oh look and now i suddenly refuse to type zeroes in my sentences<br/> AA: isnt that crazy! who thought that was even a possibility<br/> AA: bslick never would have imagined THAT little vestibule of probability was tucked somewhere in his huge glistening blow sack<br/> AA: ribbit ribbit ribbit<br/> AA: WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT<br/> AA: I JUST CONTROLLED THE RIBBITS AND I DID IT DELIBERATELY

• • Also to be found on the Nightmare Fuel and Tear Jerker pages.
• This... Is... Motherfuckin... BlAsPhEmY!!!
• And now we have Dave's chat with Equius.
  • Which turns into slam poetry about musclebeasts and milk.
  • And on the next page:

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: im not that strong ok
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: just cause i broke a cheap ass sword doesnt make me the fucking hulk
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">CT: D --> Oh
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: what did you go around breaking a bunch of swords too
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">CT: D --> No
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">CT: D --> Bows
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: how the fuck do you even wield a broken bow
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: did you go around clubbing shit with the two halves
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">CT: D --> Yes
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">CT: D --> Sometimes

• Since Equius has no towels, he dries his face with Vriska's Con-Air poster.
• Let's not forget Karkat arguing with himself. At length.
• It's raining plants!
  • Jade's facial expression is what sells that panel.
• The best weapon against Jack Noir besides the Uber bunny? Lil' Cal.
• Jade tries to reach Dave, but instead ends up talking to a crocodile who stole his glasses.

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: naknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknak

• John trying to get Rose to stop acting so dark and act the way she used to. The meta bit is that both John and the readers have been worried about her, and we're both relieved. Also on Homestuck/Heartwarming.
• BLUH BLUH HUGE WITCH
• Karkat's latest metaphor flying completely off the handle.
• I can't be the only one who chuckled at seeing that Jade's obstacle for entering the medium was a pinata in the shape of Bec
• Jack taking Cal and Bro's Shades for his own...because he killed him and Davesprite.
• WV lapses back into rudeness towards John because he finds Karkat rude.
  • And then he tries to shout politely at John after his Caps Lock key gets stuck.
• You think you will try to keep conversations with Becsprite to a minimum from now on.
• The entirety of this pesterlog between Jade and Dave. This troper was literally in tears at one point from laughing.
• This conversation, but especially:

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: basically robots are in control now
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: which is good news and bad news
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: the bad news is theyre all pornbots and theyve got LOADS of provocative material theyre just dying to share with us
   

<span style=" color:

1. 2ED73A;">GG: whats the good news?
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: thats also the good news

• • And at the end of it all, the Readers/command-givers put unnecessary pressure on her to alchemize stuff, leading to this.
• Kanaya finally grasps our human sarcasm.
  • Rose is clearly rubbing off on her in the best possible way. And giving Eridan a magic wand can only end hilariously. Ha ha ha ha...NO.
• Tavros killed Grandpa Harley by mind controlling Bec from an alternate universe. Now we just wait for Jade's reaction...
  • And she's...completely fine with it. She acts very understanding of Tavros and his cultural misunderstanding. She's not angry or even mournful. In fact she's grateful that he saved her life. Then they bond over the loss of their respective guardian figures at the hands of Tavros. Sure she was freaked out for awhile, thinking the Blue Haired Dummy did it, then thought it was suicide, and would have liked it if he had told her what had happened, but all in all takes it very well.
    • Then it turns hilarious again when Vriska shares her two boondollars with Tavros regarding the whole thing.
      • IT KEEPS HAPPENING
• Andrew Hussie: Ride
• The final words of those brave Salamanders who tried to fight the Green Tragedy:^[2]

"How can shaving cream be so flammable?"
How indeed, brave heroes.
How indeed.

• • The flammability of shaving cream was originally mentioned on these two hilarious pages. It's mentioned again here.
    • • Then the fact bites bites back tragically.
• One of the salamander's reactions to getting 1000 boondollars from John for a "rumpled head object."

Salamander: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
Salamander: (faster) THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE MY NEW RUMPLED HEAD OBJECT, AND I LOVE YOU. (salamander is now fast it's practically seizing with glee)

• • Not to mention the haberdasher selling them—they're unsightly, too! The list includes: Rumpled Head Object, Even Rumplier Head Object, and lastly, The Rumpliest Head Object Of All.
• Another one by Terezi and Dave:

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: <span style=" color:
   
2. e00707;">oops red is how i talk, my bad
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: <span style=" color:
   
2. e00707;">OH MY GOD...
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: <span style=" color:
   
2. e00707;">D4V3 TH1S 1S SO D3C4D3NT
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: <span style=" color:
   
2. e00707;">WHY D1DNT YOU 3V3R T3LL M3 HOW 4M4Z1NG 1T 1S TO TYP3 L1K3 TH1S
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: <span style=" color:
   
2. e00707;">1 4LMOST C4NT H4NDL3 1T >:o
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: ok stop that shit is probably like crack to you
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: im not going to stand by and watch you fall prey to your own wild cherry apeshit apocalypse
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">GC: OK >:[

• Luck doesn't actually matter >8]
• Jade preparing for her christmas alchemy binge only to be interrupted by an extremely angry Karkat.
  • Made funnier by how the doodle of Karkat is a callback to these ^{[dead link]} Hussnasty ^{[dead link]} portraits ^{[dead link]} of some of the other trolls.
  • The text underneath the image only enhances the inherent hilarity of the image:

Karkat cannot be conveyed with a more detailed portrait yet. He is too angry, and is forced to look like shit. Maybe later if he can manage to calm down.

• shit. lets be santa
  • You Make... Johnny 5. God Dammit. Motherfucker thinks he's alive. HE IS A TIN CAN, ROBOTS DON'T HAVE FEELINGS.
• Dutton Bubble Goggles.
• Jade's conversation with Eridan.
• This, combined with Mood Whiplash.

Come on buddy, turn that 0_0 into a 0u0!
wait
No that looks stupid.
Oh well.

• Lord English: Reveal yourself!!!!
• Jade attempts to slap her sprite-self's shit back together.
  • Jadesprite's constant "BOO HOO HOO"s can also count.
    • The last time I saw a shot like this, it ended up like this.
    • Andrew later pointed out that while that would be ridiculous, that was in fact the joke.
  • ...which is then interrupted by Karkat's trolling bubbles coming out from her plethora of wearable computers.
  • And then followed not long after by Karkat imagining Jade and Jadesprite making out.

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: FUCK I MEAN
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE

• • Wait, no one noticed that this conversation was a Call Back to this one? I thought that was hilarious.
• From [S] Wake, when Tavros confronts Vriska, she gives him the same thumbs-down Bro gave Dave. Tavros responds by holding up the severed head of one of his host plushes and making the neck-slashing gesture Dave made. Vriska responds by waving around his severed legs, making the same gesture at her waist.
  • The crazy look on her face was just priceless.
  • Bec Noir nonchalantly kicking Dream!Nepeta over was surprisingly slapstick-y for an otherwise depressing event. This troper blames the accompanying sound effect. DOOF.
    • Likewise when Vriska slaps Tavros. It's in the same art style as the ROBO-SLAP. Of course the funny stopped when she impaled him.
      • Bahahahahaha—awwwww....
• Kanaya's conversation with Jade, particularly the last line.
• We finally learn what Eridan's planet was, and more to the point that he spent most of the game genociding the angels which lived there. They may have been his consorts. Nobody would visit his world nor would he leave since nobody would take up killing duty in his place. Oh, and they're tough enough to take sustained fire from a legendary weapon. It's even funnier when Karkat tries to explain how he screwed up and Eridan doesn't get it.
• The comic takes a sudden turn to the grimdark, but veers out again when we see Karkat's reaction to what just happened.
  • Especially funny because it's almost a meta joke - that's basically everyone's reaction.
• In [S] Kanaya: return to core, the description when examining the dragonsuit^[3] is one of the sweeter finds.
• We interrupt the horrific current events to bring you the adventures of Terezi Pyrope, Ace Detective.
  • And one of the lines from it, upon Tavros' limp corpse landing next to her, is funnier than it has any right to be.

Adios, sweet Toreadoormat.

• • Six panels of her preparing to give him mouth-to-mouth so far and no contact yet. Thank you, Hussie. We needed this after the Gamzee thing.

This is not going to be pretty. But what are friends for if they
cant smooch each others butchered corpses when the need arises?

• • 2x Corpsesmooch COMBO!!!
• This. Is. STUPID.
• "You should be careful with that. Do you have any idea how flammable shaving cream is?"
  • You gulp down decadent foamy dollops of the BEARD BUSTER, and quickly respond with the BLUH callback as depicted jostling in the lower right hand corner of the image, because it is not nearly as tasty as you'd hoped. But then you keep eating it anyway.
• The stuff in Dad's wallet modus is hilarious. In addition to the literal ton of shaving cream, Dad had also stored away ten tons of pipe tobacco, the tickets to Cirque Du Soleil (presumably from that visit that banned), and a spare car. In his wallet.
  • Followed swiftly by John's thoughts on his fathers interest in Mr. Foxworthy:

Those redneck jokes were so corny and stupid. You secretly suspected your father was mostly arrested by the man's mustache. Maybe he fantasized about shaving the man's Egregious furry lip? This seems like a reasonable theory to you.

• BEEP. BEEP. Get in the car, John.
  • ROAD TRIP WE HAVE LIFDOFF! Don't look at the cloud
• John and Jade's latest conversation.
• HAPPEN 2x...COMBOB
• Karkat's attempt at troll dentistry.
  • And yet it doubles as a Tear Jerker. Karkat is flipping the fuck out right now.
• I WOULD HIGH FIVE YOU IF IT WOULDN'T SHATTER EVERY BONE IN MY HAND.
• Every talk between Nepeta and Equius in this flash. Especially the roleplay.
  • They don't just roleplay, they roleplay as each other. Nepeta's imitation of Equius is particularly hilarious, especially with the shades.

<span style=" color:

1. 5f8101;">NEPETA: :33 < D--> *STRONG EQUIUS NO LIKE HISS-POOR ATTEMPT AT ROLEPLAY, ALSO DISAPROVES OF MISSED OPPURRTUNITY TO SPELL AMUSEMENT AS AMEWSMENT*
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">EQUIUS: D--> That's not how I talk.
   

(...)
<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">EQUIUS: D--> *The e%posed belly commands to be scratched*
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">EQUIUS: D--> *It commands it, do as it says*

• • "speaking metafurrikitty"
• This is completely terrifying.
• The transition from Gamzee walking slowly toward Nepeta to the "BEEP" of John's wind-powered flying car horn. While it Crosses the Line Twice, it is similar to Karkat's reaction being needed relief after all those murders.
• Then Jack killed them all 8ut one. Then she 8lew up. Oh, and she also had that exact 8izarre laptop you are using right now. How weird is that?
• Dave: Resist great urge to play Bro's Xbox. As usual, you fail to resist the urge. You start thrashing up stunts something uncannybrutal on your quest for OH GOD DAMMIT.
• Dead Tavros pays Dead Dave a visit.

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: so aradia just so were clear
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: this is like a hellbubble right
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: its my eternal punishment to have shitty rapoffs with this tool forever is that it
   

<span style=" color:

1. a10000;">AA: yes you figured out the mystery!
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: i guess i had it coming for a flagrant lifetime spent being unbelievably fucking incredible at rap and just about practically everything else
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TG: except not dying

• • Just before that:

 AT: cERTAIN FEATURES OF YOUR PALE ANATOMY MAY SERVE AS THE MARSH MALLOW INGREDIENT, nEEDED FOR THE MOLTEN SNACK,

AT: i WILL PROVIDE THE FUDGE, }:D

• Vriska reads her ancestor's journal containing what seems to be the troll equivalent of a bodice ripper romance novel.
• Vriska, Eridan, and Gamzee appear to be facing off in what is sure to be an epic (or horribly-one-sided) battle. Kanaya, now revived, also shows up, and it's the first time anyone has seen her since she died. What happens next? Kanaya, now glowing, rushes over and kicks Gamzee in the crotch bone bulge, sending him over the cliff.
  • You forgot the best part: hooooooooooooooooooooonk
    • No, this is the best part.
    • I think you mean this.
    • Debunked. Eridan's reaction is priceless.
• Vriska has just seen rainbow drinker Kanaya punt Gamzee off a cliff, chainsaw Eridan in half, and punch her so hard her eyes cross. Her reaction? <33333333. Jegus, girl.
  • Can you blame her?
  • I feel that Vriska was emoting for the audience as a whole. I know I wasn't alone in my sudden flushed feelings for her.
• For those who like Black Comedy Jack's ludicrous way of accessorizing himself.
  • Taken to its logical extreme.
• Bec Noir swears off trophies forever. Probably. Also doubles as Mood Whiplash as this is immediately after his murders of Dad and Mom.
  • "He is a true friend. The only you have ever known." And then the panel after. Jack is still Not So Above It All.
• WHY DO BONES HAVE TO BE SO DELICIOUS AND ENTICING.
• The entire conversation between Draconian Dignitary and Jack Noir (Sovereign Slayer). Especially DD?'s Imagine Spot.
  • "He says, you mean the very same droll who couldn't manage the one simple task assigned to him, to steal the White Queen's ring from the very same adoring, wonderful girl and master and friend in question? Wait. He says he just means girl. Just girl. You didn't hear any of that. You don't say anything."
• Aradia's conversation with a dead Aradiabot and an unconscious Sollux.

 <span style=" color:

1. a1a100;">TA: 0_0
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. a1a100;">TA: FUCK, i cann0t BELIEVE i just made that face.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. a10000;">AA: hahahahaha!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 000056;">AA: hahahahaha!

 <span style=" color:

1. a10000;">AA: just as if you stay in one place for too long the geometry of space surrounding you will become unreliable
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. a10000;">AA: you may swat the air to your left and discover you have just slapped yourself!

• • Say, Jade, doesn't that sound kind of familiar?
• Sollux and Aradia in the dream bubble are good for these moments.

 <span style=" color:

1. a1a100;">TA: man, being blind is dumb, can i like gr0pe y0u 0r s0mething t0 get up t0 date 0n y0ur appearance, w0uld that be weird?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. a10000;">AA: yes sollux that would probably be pretty weird

• Doc Scratch attempting to be civil to Spades Slick. While Slick is clubbing his enormous white head with his trademark horse hitcher.

 [You're not going to stop, are you. It will be very difficult to discuss our points of mutual interest like this. I was prepared to go about it in a civilized way, even though I knew very well I would spend the first several minutes of our meeting sitting on the floor while being flogged. I have even prepared a bowl of candy for you, which I know you will enjoy. Courtesy is important, Jack. Do you have anything at all to say? Any form of communication you care to attempt beyond the sound iron makes against my head repeatedly?

No, of course not.]

• • And let's not forget evidence that he really was synthesized from Lil' Cal.:

 [Haa haa. Hee hee. Hoo hoo.]

• Slick really likes licorice scottie dogs. He REALLY likes them.
• Rose's conversation with Doc Scratch, in which Scratch accidentally comes off a little creepy.

 [There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures. In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.]

<span style=" color:

1. b536de;">TT: Oh my god.

• • The conversation gets better. When he refers to the White King, the Homestuck reader knows he means the fifth exile, but Rose hearing it from a guy made completely of white means something creepily unsettling.

 <span style=" color:

1. b536de;">TT: You're being creepy again.
   
   

[No I'm not. Besides, the White King agrees with me.]

<span style=" color:

1. b536de;">TT: What?

• • The conversation also has a fun callback.

 <span style=" color:

1. b536de;">TT: Friendship isn't an emotion, numbnuts.

• When he crashes into the private conversation of Rose and Jade, it is as hilarious as it is creepy.

 [Hello ladies.]

• • And then this image makes it more hilarious, with a Call Back with a Memetic Mutation.
  • Jade's reaction is especially funny as well.
• At this point, pretty much every panel with John in it is a CMOF, a CMOA, or both.
  • "They all blew away in the--BREEZE.
  • All: Behold glory of Zillyhoo.
  • John is the derp-master. It is him.
• Even though [S] Seer: Descend is generally sad and a bit frightening, it still has its light moments, like when Rose meets up with John, signalling the first meeting between the children. John can't understand a thing Rose is saying because she's speaking like an Eldritch Abomination, and when Rose tries to tell John that his dad is dead, John asks if he's in trouble. Rose responds by pulling her velvet pillow out of nowhere^[4] and yelling her frustration into it.
  • Can anyone say "Mythology Gag"?
  • "This... this is erotic fanfiction written about the queen in first-person. This doesn't belong in the library. This doesn't belong anywhere."
  • "They wait for he who would drop it like it's hot whilst the pimp's in the crib." (It makes a bit more sense if you've done the appropriate reading.)
• Dave tries to retrieve Bro's sword from his corpse by breaking it to fit his 1/2 Bladekind Abstratus. He fails, hilariously so.
  • He finally did an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle.
  • But then he stays laying on the ground next to his Bros corpse and refuses to get up.
• Dave is contacted by an Exile for the first time, who is almost certainly AR due to the law enforcement talk. The law enforcement talk which Dave accidentally starts repeating in his conversation with Terezi. The law enforcement talk which starts turning Terezi on.
• "WHO'S THIS DOUCHEBAG?"
• In a mix of Nightmare Fuel and this, Gamzee replaces Terezi's favorite scalemate with Lil' Cal as she's hugging it. Her face sells it perfectly.
• I told her about stares.
  • "YG'TH NUG B'RIBGYTHLG"
• Bonk. (Look at the site banner.)
• Slick does what he does best. (Look at the site banner)
• Despite the result of the above, Doc still takes time to refill the candy bowl. (Once again, the site banner.)
• Karkat meets Terezi on the roof. He is holding a note with blood in it.

 <span style=" color:

1. 2b0057;">bro. SLOPPY M4K3OUTS. NOW. on the roof. H3H3H3 >:o]

• Doc Scratch does not enjoy Sloppy Makeouts. He does not enjoy them at all. (Banner again)
  • And so he decides to intervene.
• But the background image of a certain Mr. Cage for Vriska's confirmed death, despite being a Level Breaker, is a funny Level Breaker.
• Doc Scratch can tolerate almost anything. Just don't mess with his clock.
  • And then, after a resounding "DOOF." of Slick on the next roof, Doc Scratch delivers the conclusion of his lecture to him (Starting here.) Slick is told to use Scratch's deudly firearms.
• AUTO-HARLEY!
• This exchange here:

 <span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: aradia?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: JUST ANOTHER DEAD TROLL, WHO CARES.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: :(
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: STOP FROWNING, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD BEFORE SHE DIED.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: ...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: :(

• Karkat's hilariously inappropriate slew of Freudian slips while trying to get John up to speed on things here (the first doubling as a Call Back):

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER THAT HER SPRITE SELF IS PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR AS DESPICABLE AS SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH HERSELF TO BE.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: I MEAN
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: MAKING HERSELF OUT TO BE.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

• • and shortly after:

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: WE'VE ALL GOT FLAWS, EVEN HER
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: AND FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE'S GIVEN ME ON THIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGLING FROM A VERY HIGH HOOK.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: SHE'D BE DOING ME A MAJOR PERSONAL SOLID BY MAKING AT LEAST SOME ATTEMPT TO GET HERSELF OFF.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: WAIT
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: FUCK
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: wow.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: I MEANT LET HERSELF OFF.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: THE HOOK. THE FUCKING HOOK, IT'S A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: /raises eyebrows
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: PUT THOSE THE BACK DOWN, BEFORE MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YOUR IDIOTIC FACE.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: ok, i am putting them back down as not suggestively as possible.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: WHAT WERE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT, IT WASN'T THIS, WHATEVER THIS IS.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: what is what this is?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: IT'S NOTHING, YOU SHIT. IT HAS BEEN THE CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF US WHISTLING THROUGH OUR SNORT BARRELS WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER INAPPROPRIATELY.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: was...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">EB: was that another weird erotic slip of the tongue?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: NO, THAT WAS ME BEING WORKED UP INTO THIS RIDICULOUS FUCKING CONNIPTION AND SAYING SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY, GOD. HOW DOES THAT NOT BE CLEAR BY NOW???

• If music counts... the Nic Cage Song.
  • It gets so much better with the fan video.
• While the big multi-story flash from 07/02/11 is mostly Heartwarming Moments and tear jerkers, one segments stands out for being funny as balls: the Liv Tyler and Courtyard Droll Chase Hour! Guest featuring WV.
• Dave and Rose's increasingly inaccurate sports metaphors in the 07/14/11 update.
  • Was anyone else hearing Tim and Eric's 'SPORTS!' song playing in their head as they read that?
• Before all of the unpleasantness on the asteroid happened, Jade gave Karkat a mildly self-deprecating phrase to use as their chat password. Karkat...blows it a little out of proportion.

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: LET'S SEE IF I CAN REMEMBER, IT WAS PRETTY ELABORATE IF I RECALL, OK HERE GOES.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.

• Jade wapping Bec Noir upside the head with a newspaper.
• Gamzee admitting to wanting to make out with Tavros. It comes almost entirely out of left field and Tavros is completely dumbfounded about it.
  • Gamzee referring to a light that makes him wince. If only he knew.
  • The rapping beforehand is also pretty hilarious.

  <span style=" color:

1. a15000;">AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES,

• Despite being a gigantic Tear Jerker for Karkat, the 8/2/11 updates manage to be tragically absurd.

 CG: I THINK I GAVE HIM CANCER.

CG: I GAVE YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE CANCER, JADE.

CG: SORRY.

• Hussie breaks the fifth wall. It could probably be a Crowning Moment of Awesome, but the Alt Text kind of throws you off. Booyeah!
• The Alt Text for this page.
• The scary wolf head makes a reappearance. (look at the banner)

  Hussie in Alt Text: Ah-ha! Caught red-handed you bastard. You stop clogging up my story with your troll fanfiction this instaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

  That was not the right door.

• AH's monologue as he sneaks up on Scratch is pretty amusing as well.

  My heartbeat falls in rhythm with the clock as I draw close to my prey. I leave nothing to chance, for you see it is the most dangerous prey of all, a four foot tall asshole in suspenders who wont shut up. Wait for it, Hussie. Wait for it...

• • In fact, let's just say all the Alt Text is hilarious.
• AH's getback at Doc Scratch for taking over his narration. Look at how they wiggle as Hussie attacks Doc Scratch! Doubles as Crowning Moment of Awesome.

  Everybody is totally fed up with your condescending, self indulgent narrative style. They all want to go back to my slightly less condescending, slightly more self indulgent style.

 See? Even that little girl has had enough of your shit. Run, Aradia's ancestor! Run!!!! You have locked up your last asian schoolgirl, you sick fuck.

Oh don't you flop around at me like that. Are you listening little man?!

• • And sure enough, all that flopping around gave a couple of people an idea...
    • And then Hussie made that pic his Twitter feed background.
• Shooooooooooooosh. *pap pap*
  • In the flash beforehand, everyone in the vicinity 'fills a quadrant' with Gamzee, but gets stopped by Karkat. Kanaya attempts to ashen-mediate between Karkat and Gamzee, Terezi tries to go caliginous for him, and Karkat is later revealed to be pale with Gamzee, which leaves Sollux as flushed. Instead, he has mixed flushed/caliginous feelings, and starts yelling at what he thinks is Gamzee... but is facing the wrong way, and is yelling at Li'l Cal instead. It's hilarious.
  • The shoosh/pap moment also manages to make this bit from a few updates back Hilarious in Hindsight as well:

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: JOHN, TRUST ME. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">CG: IT'S JUST A TROLL THING, HUMANS WOULDN'T GET IT.

• Andrew returns to his old narrating ways. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, too.
• Speaking of the Act 5 Flash, there's one short moment with Terezi pointing up at the Green Sun, and Karkat grabbing her arm and pointing her in the right direction.
  • Shortly before that, when Karkat is cut off from Jade due to The Scratch, you can see Gamzee waving while everyone else is a safe distance away from him while Kanaya eyes Gamzee suspiciously.
  • If you look really closely, it looks more like he's flipping her off, not waving.
• In the middle of the rather intense and chilling [S] Begin Intermission 2, the view amusingly cuts to a series of shots of the scary wolf head. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
• From the album art for Frog Hunt: POOR DAVE!
• The Beginning of Act 6 focuses on a billboard of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: THE MOIVE for a few seconds.
• The opening sequence for Homestuck Alpha happens entirely offscreen.

  "Earlier this morning you thought you heard the mail truck, even though the mail never comes in the morning. But just to be sure, you rushed downstairs to check, even though due to recent events, you are FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. Alas, it was not there, and you sort of spaced out at the sky with a goofy grin on your face for no great reason"

• • We did see the part where she stared up at the sky.
• Crazylegs Hussie. That is all.
• Karkat sets up a memo board to talk to Dave and John in. What's it called? Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory!
• Jane: Answer Jake in its entirety. Mostly because of the odd language.
• Jane thinks her Gristwidget is a piece of junk. She proves why.
• Jane: Answer Lalonde Crosses the Line Twice with The Alcoholic 15-yr-old Bottle Fairy.
• Receieving Sburb Alpha in the mail, Jane exclaims in Buffy-Speak.
• Jane's thoughts on donning clever disguises.
• Jake: Make out with all of them.

  "Yes, that was a waste of time. Definitely. It's definitely not something you spend much time doing whenever you are alone, which is always. "

• Jake getting increasingly irritated with Strider's auto-response bot:

  <span style=" color:

1. 1f9400;">GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!

• Sometimes you tell dad you really want poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready.
• The Works of Evil: Andrew Hussie's Devil Worship is quite possibly the funniest article ever written about Homestuck.
  • Then there's Andrew Hussie's comment: Just as planned.
• We finally find out where all the pumpkins have been disappearing to!
• Roxy, on Betty Crocker's influence:

 <span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: * horbible
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: * whore bible
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: ^ bullseye

• Speaking of bullseyes:

  AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT.

• • Doubles as Mood Whiplash
    • Also, Fridge Brilliance, considering Jake just killed Tavros' guardian. (Or at least one of the same species.)
• Meta example: go to the Betty Crocker Wikipedia page. Scroll down to 'in popular culture.' Suddenly realise how utterly absurd Homestuck truly is.
  • Saved due to it constantly being removed:

 A fictionalized version, of the Betty Crocker character, is a supporting character in the webcomic Homestuck, wherein she is sometimes referred to as the "Batter Witch". This portrayal is married to a fictionalized version of Mark Twain in the early 20th century. It is strongly implied that she's a malevolent, nigh-immortal alien from another universe, and is using her corporate empire to control the population, and to bring about the ruin of this universe.

• "The Tao of falling the fuck down"
• Strider's touching and entirely disturbing monologue about the power of his puppetry.

 <span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 00d5f2;">GG: Oh yes?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 00d5f2;">GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Yeah.

• Which is funnier-the bunny fidgeting the Potty Dance while holding the fridge, Jane reacting annoyed at the bunny for putting the fridge down WRONG, OR B2!Dad noticing the mess with Stunned Silence?
• OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH.
• Nearby, someone or something bleats likea goat for strategic purposes. And also Ironic purposes.
  • Look, Dave had like 3000 pages to bleat like a goat. He dropped the fucking ball ^{[dead link]} .
  • In the sound credits, it is referred to as Sick Bleats.
• Just before that, the image of Jake running for his life away from the goatdad is funny on its own, but it's even funnier when played with Gotta Go Fast or Yakety Sax.
• For those who like their Black Comedy: "Oh god, you're right! There are still a few characters I haven't killed yet."
• Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain cloth.
• MIND FUCK
• Serenity's translated morse code on this page: YOU SUCK!!
• Jack Noir wasn't scared of PM...
• JOHN: you are like a furry now, but not really the weird kind that people on the internet like to have sex with in their imagination. JADE: D: John, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?
• John writes a letter to his friends on the back of a poster, but feels it shouldn't just be crumpled up and tossed. So what do they do? Use a bucket to hold the letter, only to realize at literally the last second that trolls hate buckets "for some reason". Hilarity Ensues, along with a return of a certain famous expression on Karkat's face.
• Rose and Dave meet some of the trolls. Watch out for the Karkat on the end, too.
• Karkat jokingly freaks out at the possibility of having his eyes burned out by the Green Sun and asks if "one of you awesome dudes has a radical pair of shades I can borrow?" Kanaya obliges.^[5]
• All of the dialogue with the kids and the trolls in front of the green sun, but the end of Rose's exposition is especially hilarious.

 <span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: Don't be ridiculous. It won't take nearly that long.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: OH
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: It'll only take about three years.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: OK
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: WAIT, HOW LONG ARE YEARS SUPPOSED TO BE AGAIN?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: Yes, two.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: And then fifty more.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

• Rose talking to Dave about Maple hoof at the end of this conversation.

 <span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: Was that the one you mentioned had a pink heart on it?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: yeah
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: Hmm.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: what
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: It was crushed to death by your newborn ass.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: You bastard.

• • This troper busted out laughing and doubled over at that line.
  • And immediately before that:

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: not really
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: oh wait
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: against all odds i sorta do

• The entirety of the "first contact" between the two humans and the surviving trolls is almost nothing but laughs, but Terezi's sheer embarrassment over the whole thing is hilarious.

 <span style=" color:

1. 008282;">TEREZI: 1 4M SO SORRY YOU GUYS
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">TEREZI: W3 4R3 4CTU4LLY 4 LOT COOL3R TH4N TH1S!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: are you actually
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">TEREZI: ...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">TEREZI: NO
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008282;">TEREZI: NO W3 AR3 NOT

• Karkat being slowly hit by a bucket had this troper in stitches!
  • The arms really sell it.
    • Now in semi animated form with appropriate soundtrack!
  • And repeated by John with Roxy's foot.
• The letter that John places inside said bucket also qualifies; he's unaware of the fact that trolls reproduce by depositing their genetic material in buckets, and that as a result trolls consider buckets obscene. In that light, the fact that he opens the letter with "it is john, jade, and dave sprite. we all contributed to the contents of this bucket!" is nothing short of hilarious. As a whole, the letter is basically worded as awkwardly as possible.
  • Davesprite insisting on defiling the poster John writes the letter on. When John doesn't let him, Davesprite acts as if he's being denied something that's rightfully his. And then he draws on it anyway with sprite powers.
• [S][[[A 6 I 1]] Karkat: Mental breakdown.] All of it. Right down to Rose's EYEBROWS.
  • Also, the translated text at the end.^[6]
  • Finally, if you click the Nick Cage head at the end of the flash he informs you that was the plan...to give you a boner. And you got one.
    • Boner.
  • The panel afterward.
• And for a bit of dark humor, the first update of 2012: >Ball: Drop
• Dad shows us how the Green-verse uproots its bathtubs.
• After weeks about wondering about the other three letters in Roxy Lalonde and Dirk Strider's first names, we finally get some more information. Specifically, we know one more letter: their names are Roxy Lalonde and Dirk Strider. Teasing Creator at its finest.
  • And just when we're about to find out Lalonde's name... a cat's tail is covering the last two letters. HUSSIEEEE!
  • And again with Dirk's name and a miniature Maplehoof. Hussie has all the Trolling Creator credentials down. All of them!
• The version of Detective Pony edited by D. Strider, starting here
• After installing Sburb on her computer, Jane flies out of her room and onto the couch. The Reaction Shot really sells it, thanks to Jane’s Death Glare.
• You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?
• Roxy: Sip martini thoughtfully.
  • DELICIOUS
• Squarewave's reaction to losing to Dirk in a rap-off:

  <span style=" color:


1. e00707;">SQUAREWAVE: DAMN DOGG WHY AS A ROBOT I GOT TO BE SO PREDICTABLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO LIQUID <span style=" color:
   
2. e00707;">LIKE THIS. IT AIN'T COOL!!!

• Dirk and the Autoresponder working together.

 <span style=" color:

1. 00d5f2;">GG: Are you typing your most important instructions in red now?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TT: Yes.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: No.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 00d5f2;">GG: ...

• The truth about uranianUmbra:

 <span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: What I'm asking is, have you ever written stories about us?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 929292;">UU: .....
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 929292;">UU: yes. u_u

• Roxy recommends that Jane loosen up:

  <span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass

• • also

 <span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: jane i am afraid
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: that ur bottom
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: is a stubborn clam
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: guarding priceless treasure
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">TG: and a deadly secret

• An incredible portion of [S] Prince of Heart: Rise up. It is filled with Call Back power, from a very large number of pages, often with humorous twists: at one point, Jake taunts Robo-Dirk... only to get five thumbs down, a la [S] Dave: Abscond. The look on Jake's face is priceless.
  • The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked.
  • Jake's Eye Glasses flying off. True to the trope, he has no eyes underneath (but he's not Blind Without'Em as badly as Velma, effortlessly picking them up off the ground).
• Jake asks Jane whether she has feelings for him, and Jane panics and turns him down. The expression on her face in the following panel is priceless. As is this one after she keeps sticking her foot in her mouth. And this one.
• The Post-scratch White Queen saves Jane from Jack. And utterly destroys her aloof, dignified image in the process.
• Remember [S] Ride? Here's the sequel. Complete with Ascended Meme.
• "Hold still, Slick". What's funny is that Hussie is practically canonizing fanart.
  • "Its fresh from the Butler's teat, you just watched me milk it!"
  • "MS. PAINT! Is that soup ready yet? He's being a dick."
  • "Also can you bring me some gauze? He stabbed me again."
  • Ms. Paint seems so happy to serve Jack.
• Karkat opens another memo.
• After finishing his conversation with future Karkat, Karkat proceeds to respond to the memo that he had created ten minutes ago because he wants to antagonize a version of himself that's 10 minutes away. What really hammers it in is the chat bubble above his head, which shows Karkat yelling at Karkat, whos yelling at karkat, who's yelling at Karkat...

 <span style=" color:

1. 008141;">KANAYA: No
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">KANAYA: Just
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 008141;">KANAYA: Fuck <span style=" color:
   
2. 008141;">That Guy

• Then there's the coffee machine - aka the Instant Revitalizing Machine from EarthBound.
• Rose reveals that Dave was checking out their mom—months ago, in a dream, and she never said a thing about it. ;)
• Dave and Karkat's most recent interaction ends with Karkat grabbing Dave's cape, and Dave telling him to knock it off, resulting in this:

 <span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it

• To paraphrase...

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">Karkat: Dave, read this trashy troll romance novel. It will fix everything.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">Dave: No. Hell no.
   
   

Rose: *yoink*

• • It's not just Rose's utterly hilarious expression that does it, but the fact that she grabs the book and runs away without moving her arms or legs at all.
    • It gets even funnier when you think about it: Karkat doesn't even really react or yell at her for it other than just stare at her. That means he's used to it because SHE'S DONE IT BEFORE.
• This update to this update. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.

 <span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: no
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: WHAT??
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: were still drawing
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: LET GO

• • You cannot beat Strider in a counter-troll-off. HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS!
  • This is eventually followed by Kanaya silently and wordlessly wondering about their desperate need for an auspistice, and, presumably, the fact that it will almost inevitably be her, with a confused "what the hell" expression on her face.
  • Karkat getting wrapped in Dave's cape, forcing Dave to suplex him in an attempt to get free.
• John's no-romance plans for meeting back up with his friends:

 <span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 4ac925;">JADE: aww
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 0715cd;">JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.

• • And seconds later Jaspers is meowing John the birthday song, and pissing off Dog Tier Jade in the process. Chase ensues.
• John's face getting trampled by Dream Roxy. Bonus points because it calls back to Karkat getting hit in the face by a bucket AND Jake's dreambubble meeting.
  • It then results in the Running Gag where it zooms in to heart emotes or similar next to a character's face. It happens to John here, only because of his Celibate Hero status it's... him making a silly face.
• Hussie saves Spades Slick from Lord English...by hurling him off a balcony, on top of what is apparently a very, very tall building.
  • He also rushes SS to said balcony using his hilarious "throttling Doc Scratch" animation.
• Irony: Hussie's doing it wrong.

  Hussie: You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine.

• • His Cluster F-Bomb when he remembers that Doc Scratch only ever put one cueball in his gun.

 Hussie: How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...

Hussie: WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT.

• Hussie proposes to Vriska. Hilarity Ensues.
• Dirk's Auto-Responder explains to Jane just how tight he is with Lil Sebastian.

 <span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TT: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 00d5f2;">GG: Oh yeah?
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TT: It's like he is the Incredible Hulk's pants, and I am his monstrous package yearning to bust loose.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 00d5f2;">GG: Blehhhh, why??
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TT: Jane.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">TT: It seems there is a way bigger than average probability that you do not want to discuss Bruce Banner's megalithic gamma schlong.

• Jane's possible responses for meeting Gamzee(?) and being asked if she would like for him to be her guide are "No" and "Fuck no." Even Jane, who's never met him before, already knows he's trouble.
  • Jane cautiously approaches Gamzee. Crosses the Line Twice with Tear Jerker and Nightmare Fuel?? Check. Mixture of Squick and Black Comedy?? Double check. Lampshade Hanging the forums' talk about how he got his new clothes with shenanigans? Triple check. The ability to click on his codpiece? Quadruple check. The Dissonant Serenity of the music?? Quintuple check. Jane's reaction to everything?? Sextuple check, and oh so priceless. Anything else missed??
• GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK
• Say hello to your wonderful new guide, Jane!
• Jake and Dirk give us this little gem:

 <span style=" color:

1. 1f9400;">GT: Pardon me but do i SOUND like some trollycar bellwether toiling in the heart of the mustache belt from the ruff n tumble year of nineteen aught nine???
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">
   

TT: ...</span><br />
<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">
   

TT: He said unironically.</span>

• Ladies and gentlemen, the third anti-christ.
  • While we're at it, we have the Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope Administration. Although it's filled with Nightmare Fuel, there's a lot of Refuge in Audacity and so many crossed lines.

 @andrewhussie: a line i seriously just wrote in reality: "People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined."

• Another gem between Dirk and Jake:

 <span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Either you get your shit together and put the moves on this dead space vixen or I start fucking with your cortex and make you pop a dream boner.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 1f9400;">GT: NO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A BONER DIRK!!!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Sorry Jake. The plan's in motion.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Next stop, Boner City.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 1f9400;">GT: SO THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG???
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 1f9400;">GT: TO GIVE ME A BONER???
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: And you
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: ...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: ...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: ...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: ...
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. f2a400;">TT: Got one.
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 1f9400;">GT: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

• The entire conversation between Dirk and Jake is made more hilarious with the reveal that "Dirk" is just a figment dreamed up by Jake. Jake is having an argument with himself. And losing. Badly.
  • Not to mention that it seems he's having said argument in front of Aranea.
• Jack: Start Jailbreak Adventure. Complete with Lampshade Hanging and Self-Deprecation all over the place.
  • CD's attempt at sending Jack help along with the message, "You're welcome." With a picture of him winking.
  • The Running Gag of Jack killing the guards making his own escape harder.

 That is not how you convince someone to do something. You're supposed to save the stabbing until AFTER you intimidate him into doing what you want! How exactly is a dead guy supposed to pick up some keys for you?!

• • Being the other guy, who happens to be a sentry Jack just killed, which acts as a Relax-O-Vision from Jack fighting a regulator lug.
  • You be the other guy again while they beat you senseless.
• This. By far the most casual flash yet. Oh yeah, and the shot of John kissing Gamzee.
  • Hussie getting laid out by Vriska in the exact same way that Kanaya did to her (also the first time we see the Huss of Lips actually have lips.)
• Jane's Dad has officially gone overboard with the notes.
• uu has Dirk draw him some porn. It is much funnier than anyone could expect. After two pages of "porn" so tame and non-sexual you could print it on a cereal box, we get:

 uu: IT'S NOT AS TITILLATING AS I DESIRE.

uu: HAVE THE MALE EAT THE CHILD.

TT: (link).

• • Dirk is clearly not enjoying this. It's even funnier due to these events being contrasted to his epic battle against an army of robots in his relative future.
    • From the expression, he looks bored, making it even more amusing. He clearly would be happier if he was allowed to get into deeper territory.
  • The fact uu ends the game when Dirk gets into male boner and Nicholas Cage territory is another crowner too.
  • "Your eyes. Are an ocean. Your breasts. Are also an ocean."
  • Jane serenades Roxy by singing the Ghostbusters theme.
    • *pornspire*
• After uu's rather dark Mood Whiplash, we get Aranea losing her seemingly perpetual cool when she finds out all hell broke lose on the purple moon between Meenah, Karkat, Dave, and Kanaya in the few minutes she was gone to pick up Jake.
  • Then, Dave asks Rose this:

 <span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: (rose whos the john looking kid)
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. b536da;">ROSE: (I think it's young Father-Grandad Harleybert.)
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. e00707;">DAVE: (what)

• Meenah aproaching and backing off ad infinitum.
• Meenah and Karkat:

 <span style=" color:

1. 77003c;">MEENAH: that guy!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 77003c;">MEENAH: nubbyshouts
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 77003c;">MEENAH: that guy is cool!!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: THANKS, WHOEVER THE FUCK!!!
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. 626262;">KARKAT: BYE.

• _(^q^)_
  • Throughout the conversation, her various creative snoring sounds

 <span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">zzzzzznort,,..
   
   

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">
   

• SNOAR*
  
  

<span style=" color:

1. ff6ff2;">lol snork ;D

• Before Aranea's Info Dump, Meenah begins a shorter version.
  • And Meenah's conclusion.

 Meenah: now were ghosts the end

• • In between, Meenah's plan works perfectly.

  BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

• Aranea is utterly enraged by the above event, and sarcastically gives Better Than It Sounds summaries of the lives of all the A2 Ancestors. Ampora and Makara's really stand out though:

 ARANEA: Ampora was a pirate. No8ody liked him. He killed a lot of people, 8ut was later executed 8ecause he was una8le to tell a funny joke. What else needs to 8e said? That's right. Nothing.

ARANEA: Makara was the guy who didn't like his joke. He was terri8le and so is his story. Period.

• Out of a slight misunderstanding of the situation, Jake believes Meenah is the batterwitch that will take over the Earth despite being dead and a different version, resulting in him engaging in a fight in the belief he is being heroic in saving the world. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Also Meenah is still too busy fangirling over the Condesce to care.
• Terry: Fast forward to Liv. Rest In Peace, Con Air bunny.
  • Don't forget the secret flash
    • Boner.

Meta & Fan Content

• If you're willing to brave Fur Affinity, then adiosToreador getting counter-trolled until he fled in terror is a sight to behold. The following pages contain roughly a third of the comments he left there, and though Hussie himself wasn't behind it they're still painfully funny. 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14
• Not long after Alternia was released, Andrew announced that another album was already in the works. What did it turn out to be? A Squiddles album!
• In somewhat of a meta-example, a fan on the forums by the name of Lotus wrote a 15 page research paper on the ship teasing between John and Rose. The panel immediately after this featured a lotus in the book Rose was reading, before proceeding to be a ridiculously ship teasing conversation.
  • A link to the requisite doctoral thesis.
  • If by "lotus" and "book" you mean the atom symbol on the back of her laptop, this is that next panel, but there was an incredibly shippy conversation a couple of days later.
    • The reference to lotus is to the ring of Skaia shown here, a few panels before that, which was the immediately subsequent panel to the release of the paper. The conversation was continued immediately as well (as Andrew often updates with several panels at once).
• As long as we're going meta, this poor guy's reaction to the Nightmare Fuel known as [s] Jade: Wake Up, in a schadenfreude sort of way.

 kyouger: stop

• • "No! Not doof!"
• An MSPA GIF site has appeared (hilariously) ripping off another comedy site.
• In the anticipation of the EOA5 Flash, Michael Bowman of the music team gives us a little preview...
• The End of Act 5 Flash was hosted on Newgrounds. Soon after it went up, the entire site crashed due to the sheer amount of traffic. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.

  Hussie's Twitter feed: well that didn't work

• • To give an idea as to exactly what "soon" means in this context, using time codes on forum posts, this Troper figured out that Newgrounds went down in about 3 minutes. From EoA5 posting to Newgrounds' demise.

 jephjacques @andrewhussie the internet is going to explode when you hit 100%, you fucker

andrewhussie @jephjacques i'm going to be walking away from it in slow motion smoking a cigarette

• • Cool guys don't look at explosions
• Cake ft. Jake. That is all. Saying anything else would ruin the surprise.
• One day on the Tumblr blog of Andrew Hussie, he allowed questions to be submitted for ten minutes. Knowing how big the fandom is, it went Gone Horribly Right.

 Andrew Hussie: oh no

oh no……………

• This fanmade comic turns the glut of character deaths into hilarity.
• Here's what the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has to say about trolls.
• Dante Basco, actor of Rufio, is reading Homestuck. This is funny, or will be funny if and when he reaches Act 5.
  • Until then, we have Hussie fanboying over it on Twitter:

 andrewhussie: Guys, I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that Dante Basco, aka Rufio from Hook, is currently reading Homestuck.

andrewhussie: I wonder what he will think when he discovers me kissing his corpse?

andrewhussie: Assuming he makes it that far. Do Hollywood superstars even have that kind of time??

andrewhussie: I have to make sure I don't scare him off or anything. Do NOT fuck this up Hussie. Pull it together. There is a lot riding on this.

 andrewhussie: And just like that, I have already gone too far.

• • Hell, Dante's liveblog alone is filled with crowning moments of funny as he reminds us all of precisely how confusing the first few acts are, which combined with the undoubtedly strange feeling of thousands of people egging you on and encouraging you leaves him hilarious nonplussed about the entire thing.

 And yes, I saw the “Hello Dante”… I greeted him on twitter… I have to admit, that’s pretty dope. I wonder if he makes this first part so hard to get as an obstacle for those not worthy to get the story… a somewhat right (sic) of passage… maybe I’m just rambling and have no idea what I’m talking about… Back to reading.

• • • He was successfully trolled by Hussie with the fake end of Act Four, the bunny distribution flash.
  • And now we wait. >:D
• While we're looking at Tumblr, you should also check out What the Fuck is Homestuck, where one girl chronicles her reactions right throughout the entirety of the comic, only catching up early into Act 6. She loves using a copious amount of gifs from all sorts of sources, especially when she overexcited.
  • It's especially funny from the perspective of one who's read the comic: right from meeting him, she hates Gamzee, which just makes her reaction to his freakout in Act 5 Act 2 a hilarious Foregone Conclusion.
  • Not to mention her reaction to finding out her starsign is Capricorn, as well.

  WtFiH: Correct! My star sign is Capricorn! However, Gamzee is- what- wait... oh, oh FUCK ME.

• • • In a hilarious coincidence, the same thing happened in another reaction blog. In this case, the author is quite skeeved out by Equius and is asked what his sign is ^{[dead link]} ...

 SIARH: [...] Sagittarius

SIARH: …wait

SIARH: FUCK

• • She also loves using the tags for extra effect. Sometimes they're funnier than the main post.
• Good lard... Jegus
• Meta example here: this video seem innocent enough to the casual viewer, but for any Homestuck fan...
  • On a related note, this poster, merchandise for the book in that video ^{[dead link]} . These are all over elementary schools in the US.
• Another meta example: this article about the Juggalos had someone comment in character as Gamzee (find it near the top of the third page of comments). Then, Karkat showed up. Then Nepeta joined in on the commenting, followed by Kanaya.
  • The article itself, however, has become either a Funny Aneurysm Moment or Hilarious in Hindsight (hard to tell which) given the revelations in A6A3...
• Andrew Hussie's personality in general; you may bear witness to his humour on formspring or other social networking sites.

---

> Go back

1. ↑ [sic]
2. ↑ To see the sequence, examine the flagpole in the village.
3. ↑ \The red thing next to the teleporter
4. ↑ most likely her sylladex
5. ↑ with Equius's shades
6. ↑ "This is stupid."