< Atop the Fourth Wall < Funny

Atop the Fourth Wall/Funny/Part 1



Reviews

2008 Episodes

Spider-Man #56

  • The Big No from his Spider-Man #56 review.

Doom's IV #2

  • Linkara reading the fan letters, which causes him to go crazy.

Titans #1

S.C.I. Spy #1

  • Linkara's reaction to Lazlo's freakishly cobbled-together kinda-female associate:

Linkara: "Oh God those eyes... those lips... They're staring into my soul! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

Superman at Earth's End

  • Linkara's classic "I AM A MAN!!!" *punch*. It wins any argument! Even if you're a woman!
  • Comic: "You! Hitler!" Linkara: "And you! Other Hitler!"
  • "Hey, Steve! Wanna clone Hitler?"


2009 Episodes

Uncanny X-Men #424

Mr. T and the T Force #1

Star Trek #1

  • All of Linkara's William Shatner impressions:
    • "What do you mean...Starfleet's not going to...reimburse me for my ripped shirts any more?"
    • "While I've got them, let me tell them about the...incredible...offers from Priceline.com."

Newmen #1

  • "I guess if I was the only one to believe in Bubblegum Hinduism, I'd be a little off in the head too."
  • Linkara's disregard of a "tormented" rant:

Linkara: Oh, boo-hoo, We've all got problems!

Amazons Attack

  • Linkara reviews Amazons Attack: "Hello, Doom's IV? I'm sorry. I want you back!" And completely snapping under the realization that the whole thing was just a tie-in to Countdown. "Look at the pretty bunny! (breaks down crying)"
    • In part two, when he does his trademark "I am a MAN!" and punches off screen. His hand inexplicably returns holding a teddy bear, causing him to announce "Bear!" in an ecstatic voice.
    • As well as Linkara trying to cut his wrists with a gun. "Why doesn't it work?!" In fact, the entirety of his spaz-out.

Linkara: [waving around bunny statue] Look at the pretty bunny, look at the pretty bunny! [breaks down crying]

    • After he decides burying his face in a pillow is preferable to going on: "And yet somehow this is still more entertaining than the comic itself."
    • Also, this exchange:

Aide in comic: D.C. is in ruins.

Linkara: I'm sure it is, after this comic.

    • Or:

President: Yes! I killed a teenage girl! Why do other politicians seem to have so much trouble with it?

    • Bees. My God.
      • "Can someone please tell me what emotion Batman is expressing with that line? Confusion? Irony? Sadness? Anger? Acceptance? Disgust? Surprise? Anticipation? Contempt? Awe? Disappointment? Shame? Sympathy? Rage?! Oh, wait, that's me. Agony? Frustration? Apathy? It's apathy, isn't it? (Sighs) OK, you don't care, Batman, so we don't either."
    • The plot breaking Pollo.
    • "Yee-haw! Early retahment!"
    • In his last Amazons Attack video, his musical Shout-Out to a certain drum-loving |nutcase while mocking one of Circe's hammy Info Dumps.
    • Linkara's response when Circe says that she used a piece of her soul in the resurrection of Hyppolita to turn her evil

Linkara: Free will? Load of crap, you're just born evil. *Beat* This is my CLUE STICK!!! (proceeds to hit the screen)

    • "CRAP IN HEAVEN, HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS?!" from Part 2.
    • "Corporate accounts payable, Batman speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Batman speaking. Just a moment."

Watchmen

"You got to give me change! Or the giant naked blue wang will join forces with the giant squid and eat me!"

    • "I went to Mars once!!"
      • "It was chocolatey."

Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains

Daredevil #306

Linkara: Hey, kids! Remember, when you're about to engage a deadly foe, be sure to shout their last name before falling down at them. We saw this technique briefly, during Mr. T and the T-Force, but it's good to see another demonstration here. [Falls down from the ceiling] Kutter!

    • The blooper at the end of the review:

Nostalgia Chick: "And you're too late to stop the bomb... in my pants."

Wolverine: Adamantium Rage

  • Later, Linkara tries his hands of videogame in Wolverine: Adamantium Rage. Mid-way, he starts going batshit, using a variation his "I AM A MAN!" * punch* gag, with replacing the quote with "ADAMANTIUM RAGE!". He knocks Spoony out, and pretty much everything else... until he met The Angry Video Game Nerd.

Linkara: ADAMANTIUM RAGE!!!
AVGN: * punches Linkara in the face*

    • And later, Linkara encounters Doctor Insano, and believes he's figured out his true identity.

Linkara: Wait a second!....You're That Chick With The Goggles!
Insano: ....I'm not fricking black!
Linkara: But you are a woman?

    • At one point Linkara gets so frustrated that he decides to resort to cheat codes, upon which Spoony, who had up until then been sitting in the background playing a DS, calls him a wimp, so Linkara gives him a go. Spoony is gradually driven insane and tries to strangle himself with the laptop's power cord, finally resulting in this:

Spoony: Fine, you can use the fuckin' cheats!

      • CHEAT CODES ARE STILL ENABLED
    • "I heard that, Linkara."
    • At the end of the review he says "This game sucks!" as he holds up one hand as though it's holding a real object. It's funny because it's not a comic, and it's funny because he doesn't actually own a physical copy of the game; he was using an emulator. But force of habit made him do the hand gesture anyway.
    • "Brother, not mother. Idiot."

Warrior #1

  • Pretty much the entirety of Linkara and Spoony's review of Warrior #1, a comic so absolutely horrible that Dr. Insano used it to shatter space-time, resulting in the review occurring over the course of multiple weird alternate universes, including ones where Linkara and Spoony switch places, where Spoony has Benzaie's hair and Linkara has Angry Joe's beard, one where Linkara and Spoony are teddy bears, another where Linkara and Spoony can't act and have to read directly from the script, and one where there's this psychotic fusion of Linkara, Insano, and Chester A. Bum.
    • Also, the constant, horrible abuse of the ellipses, culminating in:

Nostalgia Critic: "STOP! USING! ELLIPSES!"

    • "He raped Santa!"
      • "Hold it! Nobody rapes Santa on our watch!"

Dr. Insan-Ohki: I'm adorable but alone.

    • "Oh, don't be so negative."
    • "Emperor Spoonus Maximus demands that one of these narrators be silent immediately. 'Tis most annoying, rather like listening to Socrates give his forum stand-up routine while attending a Senate meeting."
    • Having some Fun with Subtitles with the Ultimate Warrior's promos, HOAK HOGAN!
    • This exchange:

Linksano: (laughs evilly) It worked! My hypertime destabilization experiment was a complete success! {{[[[Beat]] beat}}] Well, sort of, my hair's a different color.
Linkara!Spoony: Doctor Insano!
Linksano: OF COURSE! Who else but I could create a dimensional rift in the fabric of hypertime? Now all your continuities, are belong to me!

New Guardians #2

  • Everything having to do with Snowflame in his New Guardians review.

Snowflame: I am SNOWFLAME! Every cell of my being burns with white-hot ecstasy! COCAINE IS MY GOD AND I AM THE HUMAN INSTRUMENT OF ITS WILL!"
Linkara: (befuddled look) Ladies and gentlemen, I can say without a hint of irony that is the crackiest thing I have ever seen in a comic, and I've seen Jetpack Hitler and ancient Kandarian book being used as toilet paper by zombie superheros! In fact, that statement is so bloody ridiculous, insane, and bad, that it's freaking awesome! Snowflame, the man powered by cocaine, is win of the highest level!

  • "How dare our enemy not be impressed with repeated punching! We worked really hard on that!"

Countdown to Final Crisis

  • Forager taking off with Jimmy Olsen, sans pants, and Linkara's awkward response thereto.
  • "COUNTDOWN, STOP KILLING EVERYONE!"

Linkara: [The editors of Countdown] wanted to introduce a love triangle between Donna [Troy], Kyle [Rayner] and Jason [Todd].
(awkward pause)

Linkara: F--

(Cue the "Route 1" track from Pokémon, while a title card reading "Inaudible Profanity. Please stand by" covers the screen)

Linkara: (waving his gun around haphazardly) ...AND ROLL OVER THEIR FETID CARCASSES FOR THAT IDIOTIC IDEA!!. So, back to our story...

  • The entire "Previously On" segment to the second part of the Countdown review. Whoever decided to have the BUM, of all people, control all the world's nukes was having a very good brain day.
    • What made that whole segment, though, was the fact that it was a string of unconnected plots that had nothing to do with each other. It was extremely convoluted as well. And after all of that, the "Previous On" segment is capped with "And that whole thing STILL made more sense than Countdown!"
  • "Damn it, Donna, stop pointing out the Plot Holes; that's my job!"
  • "This comic book is Re-Todded."

Cable #1

  • In Linkara's Cable #1 review, after the latest indication of the evil to come from ancient Egypt, he cuts to a picture of the pyramids with the Imperial March playing.
    • And at the end of that review, he's interrupted in his final diatribe of "this comic sucks!" when Linkara-as-Cable bursts in demanding an explanation. Linkara throws a magnet at him to defeat him, then picks up Cable's gun and says "Sweet! New gun!"
    • And, after a particularly convoluted series of flashbacks: LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!

Batman: Fortunate Son

  • During Linkara's Batman: Fortunate Son review, he flips out and rants about how people who overuse the term 'selling out' are a bunch of naive idiots. This doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome as well.
    • "Punk is nothing but death...and crime...and the rage of a beast."
    • While critiquing the art, he proclaims "I mean, it's about as convincing as this!" while dressed in the absolute worst Batman outfit ever.
    • It Makes Sense in Context:

Batman (yes, the Batman): Like... pigs... From a gun!

Linkara (Beat) What the Funk 'n Wagnal does that mean?!

    • Linkara reading Crowe's lines with his Superboy Prime voice.
    • "Lot's of people see things when they're on drugs! When I'm on drugs, I see Bea Arthur!" *beat* "You should probably forget I said that."
    • Review Cigarettes! A review in every puff! This comic sucks.
    • *picture of Robin looking like an old man* "Gah! What's wrong with Robin?! Batman, do something!" *picture of Batman looking very Off-Model* "Bwahahahaha, oh thanks Bruce, I needed that."

Air Raiders #1

  • While reading Air Raiders, Linkara comes across the phrase "great disaster" and freaks out over Countdown to Final Crisis again. He runs off, only to walk back onscreen and say "I knew I should have put a window there."
    • "Um, look, guys, I think Spaceballs was joking about that "canned air" thing..."

Nightcat #1

Mickey Mantle #2


  • "Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo woo woo!"
  • "Minnesota once again here to save the day... MINNESOTA!"
  • After the final hit by Mickey Mantle, as the triumphant music plays: "WOW! He did it! He hit the ball! He did it! They held the tension for all of one splash page! They did it! And I still don't care!

Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man #1

  • Linkara starts his review of a comic about The Kool-Aid Man with a horrified "WHY???"
  • "The Kool-Aid Man sees you when you're sleeping. (leans in closer) The Kool-Aid Man sees you in your nightmares."
  • The entirety of the review is pretty hilarious, especially his attempts to grasp the logic behind the Kool-Aid Man's world and his enemies.

Silent Hill: Dying Inside

WORD! TO! THE! WISE! WEARING! A! HUGE! FREAKING! METAL! CHAMBER! ON! YOUR! HEAD! IS! NOT! VERY! SMART!

  • His reaction to an unknown assailant interrupting the painfully annoying villain with a baseball bat: "It's Mickey Mantle! He's come to save us!"
  • Linkara doing his own parody of Phantasmagoria: A Puzzle Of The Flesh. That is all.
    • "Damn it, Insano! Stop goofing around for two seconds and put Spoony on the phone!"
  • In the "Worst Ending" from the Silent Hill Alt Endings video, Linkara gets stuck in Phantasmagoria 2 and tries calling several numbers for help. 90s kid has an... interesting answering machine, Batman rants at him about rock music, and his call to Spoony gets Dr. Insano instead.
    • The "UFO Ending," which features "Fly Me to the Moon"... sung by Harvey Finevoice. (The inevitable Evangelion flashbacks just make it even more hysterical) And then the credits get to the stinger text at the end, which is usually just a sentence or two, but this time is several paragraphs of ranting about the Fridge Logic inherent in the premise of Silent Hill 4.
  • His parody of the Silent Hill 2 opening in the Dying Inside review. Especially 90's Kid as Maria and Pollo as Laura.

Maximum Clonage

  • His one year anniversary review of The Clone Saga is one of these:
    • His musical renditions of padding.
    • When seeing Spidercyde's outfit he just starts laughing: "Perhaps the Jackal left his cloning tube in the sun too long."
    • After revealing that it was originally planned for Mephisto to be behind the clone saga: "But the writers decided that Mephisto had absolutely no place in the Spider-Man universe. Yeah, hindsight's a bitch."
    • "Do a little dance... make a little clone... get down tonight!"
    • "The man responsible for our genetic future, ladies and gentlemen, with all the charm and personality of a 9-year old."
    • "By Diehard's Crotch what is up with that lady's face!?", "You guys look like bratz dolls if they grew up!"
    • His Voice for the Jackal that sounds like The Monarch
    • This little gem:

Peter Parker: Should I really trust a jackal?
Linkara: I don't know, Peter, maybe I should- (Pulls out a cane) HIT YOU WITH MY CLUE-STICK! (proceeds to hit the screen)

    • His psychotic breakdown due to the final issue.
    • "I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated."
  • From his review of Maximum Clonage., after Jackal "decides to do a little dance"

Linkara: (singing) Do a little dance... make a little clone... get down tonight!

    • After Punisher claims to be able to shoot Jackal through Spider-Man and ends this claim with "I can, you know!"

Linkara: (as Punisher) I totally can! What, you don't believe me when I say I can? You don't think I can? (Beat, sad) Nobody thinks I'm cool anymore...!

      • Linkara's breakdown at the end:

Linkara: I AM THE WALRUS GOO GOO G'JOOB! * punch*

The Jackal WHEEEEEE!

22 Brides #1

  • "Yeah I'm a Bee Gees fan deal with it!"
    • What, no mention of this gem?: Linkara notices the lack of sense that Libby makes when she kicks a man in the nads, all with enough force to knock the rest of the gang over. Linkara says?

Linkara: Wow, let me see if I can do that! * puts comic down, gets up and tries to do so* * CRACK!* MY SPINE!

    • As the comic depicts villains surrounding heroes surrounding villains surrounding heroes, each Reveal is accompanied by an ever-higher-pitched Musical Sting.

All-Star Batman and Robin #1-2

  • Reading Frank Miller's descriptions of Vicki Vale, '90s Kid style. Complete with a caption assuring us that this is the actual script.
    • Crazy Steve, that is all.
    • Whenever he narrates the characters repeating the same sentence over and over again. Something about the way he says it leaves me dying.

"I'm on a date with Bruce Wayne!"

    • "You've been drafted into a war. And you had better not be a fan of rock and roll!"
    • The cover for Superhero Innuendo Monthly, featuring the headlines "Diehard and the reason we want him fighting crime for us!", "Hal Jordan's new look: Yay or nay?" and "This and every other issue: Penises!"
  • "I'm the goddamn Batman!" "Ladies and gentlemen, we have an internet meme!" (cue The Price Is Right theme)
  • This exchange:

Batman: Who the hell do I think I am?
Linkara: You're the goddamn — screw it, you knew where that was going.

Doom #1

  • Linkara doing another parody of the "Random shooting in the dark" gag from Alone in The Dark during his review of the Doom comic book complete with cameo appearances by Lanipator, the Nostalgia Critic, Nostalgia Chick, Marzgurl, Benzaie, Beary, Angry Joe, and various other members of TGWTG. Even MikeJ makes a game effort.
    • Bennett the Sage and his Nerf gun is the best part.
    • "I AM A MAN!" * PUNCH* "AND A HALF!" * PUNCH* * gets stuck halfway through*

Linkara: A little help here.

    • My personal favourite was Mike J part. He's looking at the others, cup of tea in a hand, then he sees the camera. His reaction?

"Oh, uh... bang, bang, bang... bang bang bang. Booom."

      • While holding the cup of tea like a gun, no less.
    • Beary shooting Lanipator.
    • Lin-Ku shooting Ed Glaser.
    • Linkara reciting the marine's lines in an impression of the Ultimate Warrior.

"You hear me, George Foreman? You're next!...Hoak Hogan!!!"

  • "KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!"

Bimbos in Time #1

  • When showing footage of the movies made by the same director as the Bimbos in Time movie. A mulleted man gets attacked by a Zombie and Linkara yells "No! Not Jeff Foxworthy!"
  • His impersonation of Dr. Frank N Furter in his "Bimbos In Time #1" review.

Linkara: NO! That wasn't even remotely scientific!

    • Linkara severely overthinks one character.

Linkara: "And she's the niece of Sherlock Holmes! ...Wait, does that mean Mycroft Holmes had a daughter? ...Why am I thinking about this?!?"

    • "And I am the walrus, koo koo ka-choo!"
    • Linkara repeatedly listening to music on his headphones to avoid having to read the comic.
    • Linkara's response to one of the comic's "attempts" at "humor"

Linkara: "I'm only on page FOUR. This comic is FORTY-EIGHT PAGES LONG. Expect a lot of crying in this episode."

    • Just the way he says "I had a dog named Ashley onec."
      • "By the way, this comic was a donation--AND I STILL FEEL LIKE I WAS RIPPED OFF!"

The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 1

  • Ninja-Style Dancer doing the Caramelldansen dance in Linkara's The Dark Knight Strikes Again part 1 review. Also:

"It's about to blow"
"It already does."

  • When discussing how Frank Miller fans are likely to respond to his points, he borrows Yahtzee's style for a moment:

"Linkara, you handsome but completely inept dickweed!"

Extreme Super Christmas Special #1

James Bond Jr. #3

  • Saying all of James Bond Jr.'s lines in a Sean Connery impression just to make them sound even more ridiculous.
    • And then there's Linkara wondering why James Bond's nephew is called James Bond Jr.
    • "Getting shipped to Peru in a tank does seem a bit far-fetched." "Geez, you know it's bad when the characters admit that the premise is weak."
    • "Wow! Grass! We don't have anything like that outside the woods."
    • "The James Bond Jr. Show will be right back after this ad for expensive crap you don't need."
    • "Russian? French? German? Tommy Wiseau?"

Top 15 Missed Opportunities of AT 4 W

Letters column: "Instead of having [superpowers], Mr. T uses his head to get himself out of tricky situations!"
Linkara: "Hmhmhmhmhmmmmmm!" * fingersnap* * Montage of the "Mr. T superpower count" from the original review incrementing*

      • POWERHOUSE EXCITEMENT!!!
    • "In the weather today, a cold front is moving in through the north and generally making things unpleasant. In other news, celebrities embarrass themselves by their utter incompetence when it comes to their sex lives and, somehow, gossip about rich people qualifies as news you need to be concerned with. In the world of sports…" * thud*
    • "Bees, my God." "NO, NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAAH!
    • His mourning version of convoy.
    • After seeing a giant hologram of the Jackal's head: "I'm busy finding 5 teenagers with attitude!"
    • A Jeff Foxworthy-style redneck one-liner in response to the redneck communists of Sinnamon.

"Now listen up, y'all - if yer yellin' 'YEE-HAW' at the sound of the bourgeoisie getting kicked in the pants, you just might be...the urban proletariat."


2010 Episodes

Pitt # 1

  • From his review of Pitt #1- "Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn...Oh, look, a bunny!"
    • "Looks like someone got... * sunglasses* Bent out of shape. YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
    • And his response to some terrible bickering dialogue: a long string of unrelated references and jokes delivered from either end of the couch as a mock-argument, culminating in "I was frozen today!"
    • "No! Save tonight, fight the break of dawn! Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone!"
    • “Do you see what I see?” “A star, a star, dancing in the night.”
    • "If I see one mention of destrucity or skronking, then I'm calling it quits."
  • Spoony's frequent cameos as the Ultimate Warrior, including one initiated by the mention of "Warrior" in Pitt #1.

Linkara: "A warrior"? Oh, no. OH, NO!
Ultimate Warrior: THAT'S RIGHT HOAKOGAN!! THE TUPPERWARES OF VICTORY HAVE BEEN FILLED!! AND THE PUMA GOD, IN THEIR HOLY SPACESHIP, HAVE SENT THE POWER OF THE WARRIORS TO FOKE AT ARBY'S!!!

Linkara: Not you!

Ultimate Warrior: WILL YOU NOT MEET THE CHALLENGE OF THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR??!! I WILL PARACHUTE IN FROM THE WATERS OF THE SUN TO WRESTLEMANIA, HOAKOGAN, AND THERE I WILL UNITE THE POWER OF THE HULKAMANIACS WITH THE POWER OF THE WARRIOR AND TOGETHER THEY WILL BE DESTRUCILICIOUS!!!

Linkara: You're gonna warp space and time again. Go away!

Ultimate Warrior: IIIIIIIIII WILL WEAR YOUR HAT LIKE A PIÑATA, HOAKOGAN, I THINK ESPERANTO IS A LEGITIMATE LANGUAGE, AND SOON--

Linkara: Leave!

Ultimate Warrior: * Skroooooooonk*

Scarlett #1

Future Five #1

  • "Oh hey, my student loan bill. Wait, my student loan bill!? OH FU-!"

Ultimates 3

  • Quicksilver and Magneto's father-son chat.

In my day, I would have been happy to get bullets in my kneecaps!

    • Hello. * shoots him* Hello.
    • His reaction to this line:

"Wasp, goin' to eat you up."

Valkyrie: Listen up, you bitch. I knew a girl like you in high school. Played all the boys 'cause she was this hottie. She even went after a guy I liked.
Linkara (as Valkyrie): And that girl's name was Bella Swan!

    • From part 2

Linkara: BY DIEHARDS CROTCH! GOOD GOD WOMAN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOUR SPINE?

Youngblood #2

  • Linkara begins his review when Mechakara interrupts him, annoyed that he's ignoring him despite the ominous ending last time, so Linkara unceremoniously shoots him.
    • All of Linkara's cutaways during Prophet's backstory.
      • "Someday I shall prove to ze world that Vonderbras should shoot laser beams!"
      • Also in need of mention: "It vasn't outlandish, it vas FAAAAB-U-LOOOUS!!!"

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers #1

  • The final showdown with Black Lantern Spoony. "I'm not in your fucking way! Oh Jesus Christ, I think I just broke my foot in your ass!"
    • Ninja-Style Dancer VS Mechakara. Pure freakin' hilarity.
      • Likewise Pollo's final defeat at the hands of Dr. Insano. Why? Because he made Dr. Insano cut his beautiful hair!

Dr. Insano: "Eat this, robo-bitch!"

    • Linkara's first reaction to finding himself tied up. "Oh, great. What did Bennett find this time?"
    • Linkara using the I AM A MAN punch on Mechakara. It doesn't work, and he clutches his hand in pain and shouts, "Why, why, WHY do I always try to punch robots?! It never works!"
    • When Linkara puts in a plug for the prop guy who made his Green Ranger dagger, Mechakara gets even more annoyed.

Mechakara: Are you honestly doing a commercial in the middle of your review?
Linkara: Screw you, hippy! He gave me a discount!

Strange Adventures #136

  • "Wow, this situation is really getting serious. I'd better switch to my serious hat!
    • The first appearance of Linksano... who promptly gets smacked in the face by the door thanks to Linkara.
      • "Huh, could've sworn I heard something. Oh well...TIME TO MAKE WAFFLES!"
    • I LOVE HIS SERIOUS HAT!!!!

Doom's IV #½

  • From Doom's IV ½
    • Linkara taking Liefeld's cereal metaphor and twisting it to fit his purposes.
    • The ending, where Dr. Linksano is catching up on this universe's Dr. Insano, finds out he got his Anti-Magic Field Generator Kit to work, and vows revenge. Cue Pollo telling him to be quiet, and Linkara assumes 90's Kid is crashing in his storage room yet again, so he turns on the poison gas...

X-Men #1

  • His review of X-Men #1. Particularly the Running Gag over Professor Xavier's attempt to justify his school budget's more... unorthodox items to the loan officer.

"Also, this thing about exploding robots...what's that all about?"

    • Likewise, his impersonation of Rogue and Magneto.

Magneto: Uh, Rogue, why are you cocking your hip to one side?
Rogue:Oh, that's 'cause I'm like fish. When I'm up in the air flyin', I have to push my hips from side to side in order to move!
Magneto:But… then why are you standing like that?
Rogue: (breaks) "I! DON'T! KNOW!"

    • "Honk if you like pancakes!"
    • His shock at the artwork of Gambit and Beast coming out of the plane.
      • "AHHH! When did Beast and Gambit get possessed!"
    • "Cyclops! How DARE you engage in good-natured ribbing, you're supposed to be an asshole!"
    • "Ah, Gambit! Blows stuff up, wears a huge coat, is Cajun, and one of his lesser known abilities is his keen political insight.

Darker Image #1

  • 90s Kid pointing how awesome it would be if Bludwolf's mohawk could decapitate people.
    • And later-"Death-Blow is awesome! He's got death! And blow! And...wait, that is kind of a stupid name, isn't it?"
    • Linkara's utter surprise at seeing both Lobo AND Cable making pointless cameos in the comic.
    • The character Mr. Butt's (yes, seriously) first name is Seymour. Linkara responds to this Incredibly Lame Pun by...pointing his magic gun at his own head.

The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 2

  • From his Batman: DK2 comic- "Ok, who captured Missingno?"
    • "What do you want from me, Jay Leno? Why are you staring at me?!"
    • The ending where Linkara discovers There's a second issue of Sultry Teenage Super Foxes.
    • Pollo telling Linkara that "some mad scientist" (IE: Linksano) is plotting his downfall. Linkara responds with-

Linkara: Who the hell cares! They made ANOTHER issue of Sultry Teenage Super Foxes! (Screams in horror at the comic in his hand).

    • In attempting to do a serious analysis, he puts on the brainy specs and holds the book upside down.
    • "Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, moron."
    • Don't forget this funny bit:

Manga looking newscaster girl: Hugely large alien spaceship attack whole big planet!!! Coming up next on Super Manga Giant Big News!! Now, baby, tonight!!! I'm cool and hard-boiled!!
Linkara: Oh, how I wish Sailor Moon would just walk out, twirl around fifty times and release a whole bunch of sparkly things to make this end.

  • In response to Superman and Wonder Woman's "relationship"

Linkara: *indignant fury*
SNL 'Hardball' Sketch: "I'm gonna go ahead and assume you know why that's stupid and move on..."

  • When Batman talks about Carrie's plan to use a concert to start a revolution.

Batman: I never would've conceived it. Not in a million years.
Linkara: Of course not. Your undying hatred of rock n' roll would never allow you to take advantage of a concert Batman.

Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes #2

  • Sultry Teenage Super Foxes #2:
    • " Mechakara! It's Morphing Time!" (fails to find morpher).
    • Mechakara lampshading its own status as Ensemble Darkhorse.
    • So it was all a dream... they didn't really make a second issue of... (notices what he's holding in his hand, starts hyperventilating, screams in fear... only to cut to the theme song)
    • "Cornered by the fourth wall-breakers"/"Can Whatshername get out of this corner?"/"You stay in that corner and think about what you've done, young lady!"
    • ""Now!" What? What about "Now!"?"
    • "Oh god, I'm in Sultry Teenage Super Foxes! Somebody get me outta here!"
    • "It's almost as if women were people or somethin'!"
    • "We suspect that [women] are actually some kind of butter."
    • "No screams for ice cream? I imagine if I was a hellish woman inflicting terror upon my co-pilot, I would go for some Haagen-Dasz."
    • "Heh, heh. I have no way of controlling them, no way of proving that they have this power I claim they do, and they could easily roast me, toast me and burn me to a crisp if they so desired. Damn, I got it sweet."
    • "Naturally, two of the girls laugh out loud at the suggestion. And why wouldn't they? After all, it's not like they sparkle or are creepy stalkers, like real vampires."
    • "Man, this is the worst episode of Law and Order ever."
    • Continuously referring to the alien mothership as a "Space Calzone".
    • "Poor Linkara, having to read this tripe!"
    • "Oh my god, I want that hair!"
    • "Yeah, what an asshole! Going out with another woman even you clearly established earlier that you weren't even dating and that he was just being nice to you, especially since you're not even eighteen years old! ...wait, what?"
    • "No! Less! Less! Less!"

Star Trek/X-Men #1

  • His 30-second summary of the second Star Trek: The Original Series episode "Where No Man Has Gone Before"- "I AM THE GOD! I AM THE GOD!"
    • "Watch me move this Styrofoam cup!" * cup moves with a humming noise* "ISN'T THAT AWESOME?!"
    • Or this exchange:

Dehner: So what if he's got godlike powers? Maybe he's really nice and having godline powers will help the species and he WON'T try to take over the universe!

Kirk: Lady, you've just totally reinvented stupid.

    • From that same review, Pollo in a hilariously oversized Starfleet uniform, singing the "Star Trekkin'" song.
    • "The planet starts tearing itself apart..."

Johnny: You're tearing me apart, Lisa!

Athena #1

  • "They should have just called this Athena's Butt, it gets more panel time than her!"

JLA - Act of God Part 01

  • From JLA Act of God - Part 1:

Linkara: At the bar of Guy Gardner, former Green Lantern, then former superhero called Warrior...
Ultimate Warrior: Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel, load it with the words!
Linkara: Dammit, not that Warrior!

    • "Maybe I'll put salami on my sandwich. ...and maybe not."
    • "Maxi-extreme ultra normal."
    • The continuity alarm's message when it finally goes off near the end.

Linkara: Oh, what, now you decide to pipe up?
Continuity Alarm: (via text) You switched me off before the review. I'm back, baby!

JLA - Act of God Part 02

  • In part 2, when Kyle is still wangsting about the loss of his powers:

Kyle: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Neighbor: Shut up! We're trying to sleep! Go whine about your superpowers somewhere else!

    • Linkara punching the comic.
    • In response to Lois leaving Superman after he loses his powers:

Linkara: (to the continuity alarm) Are you going to shut me down for this?
Continuity Alarm: *Nah, I'm gonna sit this one out.*
Linkara: (deep breath) "BUUUUUULLLLLLLL. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" (goes on long rant about the nature of Clark Kent and his relationship with Lois to demonstrate just how bad the Character Derailment is)

    • "Were we too arrogant, Clark-" "NO. YOU WEREN'T. SHUT UP."
    • "Just look at Superman here, trying to seal that dam. You can just tell that he's thinking 'Hot damn, it's awesome to be exalted by humanity. I feel just like God. Maybe I should let this dam burst just to spite them all!'"
    • "I have Booster Gold's entire first series in my hand, and I assure you he didn't save Ronald Reagan's life just for cash! ...Though it did help."
    • I'm an alien, no-one understands me, wah, wah, wah!

JLA - Act of God Part 03

  • His entire response to Act of God Part 3, with him declaring himself never having been this angry since Superman: At Earth's End.
      • Leading to another funny moment: his near insanity thanks to Dr. Linksano's "Black Light Event Generator".
    • The reaction to seeing Wonder Woman praying to the Christian god, despite the facts that her whole origin story is heavily based on the Greek mythology, and she frequently invokes the Greek pantheon.

Linkara: Y' know, this comic is actually quite the argument for Satan's existence!

TMNT Meets Archie

  • From his review of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles meet Archie - "Oh dear god, what the hell is up with the art!? No, seriously, what the hell is up with the art on the turtles?!? They look like they're melting!"

Actually, ALL of his comments on the art are CMoF, especially with lines like "SWEET JIMINY CHRISTMAS!"

Lunatik #1

  • Lunat!k #1; 'Because poor literacy is- (Beat)- COMPLETELY NONSENSICAL
    • The shout-out to Kickassia happening that same week.

"That's a good idea! Let's take a little vacation, I'll finish the review when I get back."
Three months later...
(Linkara sits back down) "They caught up with me outside Molossia."

Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos #1

  • Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos #1: " That's why I printed this huuuuuuuuuuge picture of you. HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!! * Beat* Marry me.
    • He comments on the logo of the comic with words "Chuck Norris" taking up a third of the page and on the superhero-like outfit of Chuck Norris. He continues with "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this won't be an ego trip for old Chucky." Cue the first page with a thought bubble "Chuck Norris is the best!"

Linkara: Well, that didn't take long.

    • When TM prays for something to save him from having to talk about the book he hasn't read - the Cult of the Klaw attack the school.

Linkara (acting overjoyed): Thank God - TERRORISTS!

    • The return of Ninja Style Dancer, as an example of a REAL ninja, instead of the losers in the comic. "You make me feel like dancing..."
    • His rant at the end of the video, in which he says how Chuck Norris is overrated as an "All-Seeing Badass God"... which ends with him saying: "Besides, we all know Mr. T has more superpowers than Chuck Norris!"
    • His comment on the use of "Bammo!" as an Unsound Effect.

Warrior 2-3

  • The reveal that Dr. Linksano is one of the Schlumper brothers from Spoony's Party Mania review.
    • Another moment of pure hilarity - "You're giving the slash ficcers material!" lampshading the Foe Yay that many will be pointing out.
      • Not to mention that in this universe, both Linkara and Spoony are Johnny from The Room. The outtakes take it even further, with both of them improvising further lines in-character after a mistake.
    • Pretty much all of the battle royale at the end, from the Robotic Grabby Thing Mark Two to Dr. Bearsano.
    • The Shout-Out to 1408.

"We've Only Just Begun" starts playing
Insano: Kill it! Keel et! Keel et! {Attacks radio}

    • Dr. Hulksano. This is all.
    • The review continues the proud tradition of random time-dimension crossover cameos... with a few twists.
      • Angry Joe rants angrily about the section he has just read, only to be revealed to be neither Linkara nor Insano. He just snuck in.

Angry Joe: My GOD this comic blows! I can't believe anyone let this thing see print, much less FOUR ISSUES of it!

Linkara: Joe, what the hell are you doing? I went to take a bathroom break for a minute, and now you're doing my review?

Angry Joe: (A few seconds of silence, followed by him throwing the comic away and running off)

      • Iron Liz asks everyone's immediate question. "Who the hell am I?"
    • This bit, with Spoony and Linkara's voices over the Nostalgia Chick and Marzgurl, respectively:

Nostalgia Chick/Spoony: Yeah, the slow ass route. (Pause) Hey, do I look weird to you?
Marzgurl/Linkara: No, just as masculine as ever.
Nostalgia Chick/Spoony: (promptly fondles hirself then feels her face)

    • Or this bit:

Linkara: Because as you know, Mr. Anderson, it is purpose that created us.

Dr. Insano: Purpose that connects us.

Nostalgia Chick: Purpose that pulls us.

Benzaie: That guides us.

Bhargo: That drives us.

Lord Kat: That defines.

Bennett the Sage: It is purpose that binds us.

Linkara: We're here because of you, Mr. Anderson, we're here to take from you-- (looks around) Wait, where the hell did you all come from?!

      • The outtakes reveal that it took a while for everyone to stop cracking up at Bennett popping up in the foreground and suddenly blocking out half the screen. Then they hit on the idea that his head in profile would be even funnier, and it starts all over again.
    • Dr. Linksano's attempt to explain how his universe is different from ours.

Dr. Linksano: For example, in my universe, Wayne Brady is black!
Spoony: He's black in this universe, too...
Dr. Linksano: Silence, you sad, silly bastard!

    • Dr. Bearsano: "I've done things I'm not proud of, but they were all very adorable."
    • There's also Linkara's "our hero, ladies and gentlemen" Running Gag. However, thanks to the dimension shifts, this line is instead delivered by Mechakara.
    • The Silent Movie universe, complete with black and white, piano, Antiquated Linguistics, and title cards to let you know what they just said.

Spoonkara: I say, dear boy, if the hues were incorrect in the starting collection, perhaps you should simply have stayed the course for the next one!
Dr. Linksano: By George, where IS that piano noodling coming from?

Spoonkara: And why do we seem to vanish after we open our mouths?

The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 3

  • From The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 3 there's: Linkara summoning a Battlizer and performing his "I AM A MAN!!" punch on the aforementioned comic, causing it so be set on fire.

Linkara: I told you I was saving it.

    • Not to mention Linkara's freakout leading to him creating "Beppo the Invisible Monkey" (while obviously disoriented).

Linkara: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, FRANK?! WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS MINISERIES?! WHY ARE THEY MAKING ME REVIEW THIS?! (lunges for the camera) WHY?! SOMEBODY, SEND HELP! GAAAAAAAAAA--
(Feed cuts off; a "Please Stand By" screen displays for several seconds)

Linkara: (clothes and hat disheveled) You know, people often ask me how I can cope with such horrible comics...well, it's all thanks to the help of Beppo, the invisible monkey! (off to the side) Isn't that right, Beppo?

(Beat)

Linkara: (to the camera) Beppo says 'yes'".

    • Also worth noting is that Beppo is also a Shout-Out to Silver Age Superman's pet Kryptonian monkey.
    • Linkara: Hello and Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn! Say... * Pulls out his pocket watch* It's Mill- * Gets up and tries to make a break for it*
    • In response to Miller naming a porn star to who takes up the name Big Barda "Hot Gates" in a reference to 300, Linkara plays the clip of Benzaie explaining that 300 is really about constipation while driving to film Kickassia just to show how great interpretation of symbolism is. Best. Take That. Ever.
    • "Back to the bottle." (chugs from a brown-bagged liquor bottle)
    • "So here's a video of a kitten instead!"
    • The Stinger at the end. "Eh, who are you people? Where's my soup? You want to see pictures of my grandchildren?"
    • Linkara saying that Frank Miller has "all the subtlety of an elephant singing Ave Maria while doing the can-can," just for the imagery.

Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Fit to Win

  • In Tandy Computer Wiz Kids, the teacher asks her students what this great new enterprise is that will energize the economy like never before. Linkara gives a gleeful shout of "Prostitution!"
    • The appearances of Duke Nukem and Popeye.
    • The Stinger: DID YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM?! YOU DID, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
    • Him making fun of the blatant Product Placement: "Alec, why are you doing a commercial? I know all this, I BOUGHT it!"
    • He decides that the main characters are all undercover policemen.

Anita blake: The Laughing Corpse #1-2

  • Linkara doing Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse as Harvey Finevoice. You'd think it gets old after a while, but...
    • "The kids were playing with Jell-O again!"
    • "No, that's a Barbie doll."

Freak Force #1

"90's Kid! He is a man! NO... wait, he is a kid! Uh, wait! Aren't I 90's Kid? Wh-Why am I talking about 90's Kid as if I'm not actually here?"

    • Also his alternate version of the normal second lines:

"Brodsky, you are a genius! Liefeld, you are my god! What's another word that rhymes with genius...?"

    • The voices he gives to the characters. Good Lord.
    • All of 90's Kid's complaints of the book.

"I believe they should add guns to the American flag."
"A redhead walks down the street wearing striped pants that kinda make her look mint flavored."
"Clearly he was pondering if it would be wise to add more pouches to his huge shoulder pads. For the record, the answer is CHA!!"
"Cha! Big red dudes go on top of the Christmas tree, not the fire escape."
"Whoa, this guy can make an Ace of Base album of out of old beer cans!"
"Dude, no ones' gonna take you serious with a name like Mighty Man! You should add "blood" to it! Or at least Strike. That's Stryke with a Y."

    • 90's Kid doing the comic's sound effects.

DOOM DOOM DOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

    • When 90's Kid gets bored and decides to play Justice League Task Force on his Megadrive instead, the fact that the cartridge that was previously in was Shaq Fu. (And in the credits, Linkara says he owns two copies).
      • It gets better: He plays the game on the highest difficulty because it's "Hard Core" and then gets curb stomped... and promptly gets curb stomped again and proclaims the game awesome.
      • And in lieu of an ending 90's kid just keeps playing. and according to Pollo it just goes on like that for an hour.
    • The look of sheer shock and horror at 90's Kid's performance that Harvey Finevoice gives is absolutely hysterical as he asks Pollo what he was thinking asking 90s Kid to do the show and can he take over next week, please.
    • It's a cliche to call something a "Crowning X Of Awesome", but in this case it's true. 90s Kid's appearances are usually Crowning Moments Of Funny on their own, so giving him A Day in the Limelight makes the whole episode a Crowning Episode Of Awesome.

Chain Gang War #1

  • From Chain Gang war #1:

Iron Liz: * holds up a huge Nerf gun* We're here to tell you about Scientology.

    • The "Get the animal" Running Gag. That is all.
    • When your silencer is THAT long, it's reached "Compensating for Something" territory...
    • Harvey's line in the stinger: "Ya did good, kid. But ditch the ninja, he doesn't shut up."
    • Liz's ill-fated attempt to put on Linkara's glasses, all as Song For Ten plays uninterrupted.
    • "Which, according to my calculations is . . . $59.98 before tax. I think this calculator is broken."
    • Ninja Dancer's cards, used instead of talking.

I am silent as the ballerina.

Ewoks #9

  • From Ewoks #9: "I'm distracting you so she can stab you."

Linkara: It gets better. They're robots!
Iron Liz: Cool! That means they can blow up!

Linkara: I know!

    • Linkara and Liz go through a whole triumphant post-battle ending scene, complete with Police Squad! style freeze-frame gag... then realize they still have to review the second half of the comic.
      • Best part? They're just holding still. They hold that pose for 20 seconds with those goofy expressions.
    • Pollo asking Harvey Finevoice if he ever lights up his cigarette at all.
    • Liz doing a happy victory dance to the Ewok celebration song from Return of the Jedi... as a confused Linkara looks on.

Cable #2

  • From Cable #2; Yes, I'm Dan Green; voice actor extraordinaire. And apparently I ink comic books too.
    • Pollo telling other more obscure past characters that Linkara returned and they won't be needing any more special guests.
    • In response to the sentence "The sounds work my spinal column like a piano" Linkara plays the piano piece "The Entertainer" on his spine.
    • "Never, ever let '90s Kid host my show ever again! Ever!"
    • "Damn you, ancient Egypt! When will your evil tendrils let go of present day America?" Then cut to a picture of pyramids played to the imperial march.
    • "Oh my God, The Companion Cube is out for revenge!"
    • "Well, I'm back from being imprisoned on Lord Vyce's ship and I'm ready to review again. That's why today we're digging into Cable #2." Beat "I quit."
      • His face also melts into total disgust during that beat! And doooon't you forget it!

The California Raisins 3-D #2

  • From California Raisins 3D: "I just said 'heroic raisin.' My dignity will never be the same again."
    • The title card, featuring two 3D-ified California Raisins confronting Linkara while doing the "L for Loser" thing with their hands. It's pretty funny.
    • The female raisins. That is all.
    • His obsession with the Fridge Logic associated with the biology of living food products.

Ah, so here we're getting some details on the biology; when he was young, he was just a burger patty. If that's the case, then where did the buns come from- did they grow out of him like hair? If that's the case, then why are his eyes embedded in the bun?

    • "Now let's play some better music." * No music plays* "You can't hear it because it's in 3-D, wait."
    • After the raisins get a letter informing them about an anonymous gift of a mansion:

Linkara: P.S.: I am a Nigerian prince and I wish to send you my fortune.

Hardcore Station #1

90's Kid: Dude! I just beat Justice League Task Force!

    • His Call Back to the Ultimates 3 review where Tony Stark has been replaced by a robot: "Ahm totally bein' serious! One time * while showing two fingers, then fixing the number* I-I got replaced by a robot, who drank even more then I did. * beat* You're a very pretty man..."
    • So let's dig into Hardcore Station #1 and see if this place is that hardcore! * beat* Of course it isn't, what show do you think you're watching?
    • "So that dream I had where I was fighting evil alongside the Seventh Doctor on board the Enterprise was because I wanted a sandwich?"
    • "[...] and savor the end of your quest" Dun-dun-dun-DUN!

Brute Force #1

Kid: But Tastee Burgers are cool! Tastee Tony says so and he's neat.
Cyberman: There is logic in what he says.

    • Shortly followed by:

Doctor: But if they work for Flex, and Flex is clearing rain forests, then... that's where they've taken him!

Linkara: *shocked expression*

Cyberman: There is logic in what he s-

Linkara: NO THERE ISN'T!

Amazing Spider-Man: Skating on Thin Ice #1

  • In Spider-Man: Skating on Thin Ice, a literal interpretation of the phrase "alcohol abuse."
    • In reference to the cover, asking whether Spidey is a dealer and whether one of the drugs he's peddling is hydrochloric acid.

"I can't get the buzz without the burn, man!"

"Pff. My ideas were cooler."

    • "Wait, you're letting the kids have independent thought? What the hell kind of PSA is this?"
    • "Sneak into their bedrooms at night and loudly proclaim "HI! I'M SPIDERMAN AND I'M IN YOUR ROOM!"."
    • [extremely over-exaggerated dramatic reveal music] "OH MY GOD, HE HAS SWEETARTS!"
    • Linkara's Genre Savvy-ness.

Spiderman: That's a decision only you can make, but I want to help you make an informed decision. Interested?
Linkara: Oh, boy. He better not start singing...

    • Linkara's take on Spider-Man's explanation for his knowledge

Kid: How do you know so much about me, Spidey?
Spider-Man: (cheerfully) Please, I've consorted with Satan. I know stuff about you that'd destroy your already fragile psyche!

    • This:

Electro: Turn around, Spider-Man. I want to see your face before you die.
Linkara: ...He's wearing a mask!

    • "Right round! Like a record, baby!"
    • "Just as I suspected, petrified urinal cakes."
    • Near the end, Linkara sums up the way the message of the comic was delivered by showing a clip of Mr. Mackey saying over and over "Drugs Are Bad".

Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force

  • The Montages of the various security teams from Star Trek getting repeatedly worfed during his review of the Star Trek Elite Force comic book, set to the end credits music from Dawn of the Dead.
    • Ensign Munro's Lampshade Hanging on the Vohrsoth's crappy animation.
    • "I am Captain Linkara of the USS...uh...* looks around* ...Green Futon!"
    • "...Science is EVIL."
    • After Tuvok says that the assimilated Foster couldn't be saved, a cut to a title card that says "And now a short list of people who have been assimilated but were saved" including Picard, Janeway, Torres and Tuvok himself with the caption "Yes, you too, jackass."

Action Comics #592

    • Linkara's Shout-Out in the opening narration:

Narrator: "...the sort of mistake almost anyone could make."
Linkara: (as Big Barda) "What do you mean Chik-fil-A isn't open on Sundays!?"
Narrator: "A right turn, instead of a left."

Linkara: "Oh great; now David Tennant's dead and the stars are going out!"

    • Darkseid considers the greater workings of the universe: "Where does string come from?"
    • Linkara's reaction to Superman's "Wonder Woman under all that glop" comment after he rescues Barda from Sleez's mind control.
    • "Puberty was not fun for Darkseid."
    • The description that Barda comes from an environment "where 1984 is considered a lighthearted comedy".
    • "Oh, a big metal tube that shoots lasers. No one can stop you now. Unless, you know, they have guns... or bombs... or stabbing objects... really hard rock..."

Action Comics #593

  • The "Previously On..." sequence in Action Comics #593 occasionally cuts to That Jewish Guy nonchalantly eating a sandwich. Which is eventually revealed as just two pieces of bread. That Jewish Guy keeps eating it.
    • After. Dinner. Mint.
    • "I remember a goat, salad dressing, and a traffic cone. After that it gets weird."
    • Pollo asking Tom Servo if he ever feels "not so fresh".
    • Linkara pointing out how, if Big Barda watched The Ring, the video would consist of Barda beating up Samara.
    • When Grossman shouts that Superman has got "all the sex appeal of a side of beef":

Linkara: That's not what slashficcers seem to think...

    • Bennett the Sage wanting to be the only Frenchman on the site. Complete with hammy accent
    • The Fridge Logic that, given the timeline, Darkseid has been sitting on Mr. Miracle's comfy chair for two days before Mr. Miracle realized that he was there, and then going on to wonder if Mr. Miracle thought Darkseid was his wife.
    • The sheer impracticality of the locking mechanism.

Mr. Miracle: Honey, I left the little mirror things in the kitchen, we'll have to sleep on the lawn again tonight!

    • Superman, hunting Sleez, can't use X-Ray Vision because the sewer pipes are made of lead: "I can track Sleez by smell, if I have to!"

'Linkara (as Superman): "Oh, geez! Oh, oh, man, that was a mistake! Why did I try to do that in a sewer?!?"

Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review

100th Episode

Linkara!Sonic: I've super speed, you weird mustached bastard!
Linkara!Robotnik: Oh, is that so? Well, it just so happens that I am evil, and sick, and twisted...

Linkara!Sonic: (holding an energy drink) Mm? Oh, sorry, while you were talking how evil you are, I rescued everybody, got something to drink, AND gave you a wedgie.

Linkara!Robotnik: (checks his back) (Beat) So you have...

    • "I'll make them play |Sonic 2006, I'm that twisted!"
    • "It's so real, that you'll think you're part of the adventure! It's so real, that you'll be wetting yourself in fear!"

Nolan Ryan #1

  • Due to the subject of Tony the Tiger and Nolan Ryan helping a depressed kid with baseball, the entirety of the "Nolan Ryan in 'The Winning Pitch'" review.

Transformers #4-5

Linkara!Optimus: "They really need to download the update."

    • Megatron says that he and Optimus Prime need to have a talk. Cue Linkara saying in his Megatron voice "When two robots love each other very much..."
    • Supply your own dialogue, because the writers forgot to!
    • "Faster, Superion!" (Said by Optimus as he clings to a flying Superion.)

Linkara!Optimus: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! This is the most fun I've had in my entire life.

Optimus Prime: I am Optimus Prime. I am a soldier. I fight. That's what I do. I shoot down giant robots single-handed straight through the face because I am Optimus Prime. (Beat) Bitch.

Silent Hill: Dead/Alive #1-2

  • Silent Hill Dead/Alive #1 and 2 - Linkara's reaction to the fact that Christabella can feel pain, particularly wanting to get popcorn when she was going to be punished.
    • The Tim Burton movie description
    • "Hi Trapezoid Head!"
    • Still bothered by how Loren got a copy of demonic book at Ebay, as well as drifting off to Captain Picard playing poker.
    • Pyramid Head being more properly described as Door Stopper Head
    • The Insert Your Own Twilight Take That because he feels like it's getting old with him making them.
    • Ash dosn't like it when you steal his catchphrase...
      • Neither does Linkara, for that matter...

"Hero" of the Comic: "Groovy."
Linkara: "You did NOT. Just. Say that.

Linkara: THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST COMICS I'VE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Silent Hill: Dead/Alive #3-4

  • And then in the review of issues #3 and #4, defeating the Ominous Fog of Silent Hill...with a hand-held electric fan.

"It pays to be prepared."

Normal voice - "Well that's just immature." (Beat) "A Bat credit card!!"

Silent Hill: Dead/Alive #5

  • The outtake at the end of #5: Lewis has trouble getting something out of his jacket, briefly tries to salvage the take, and then runs off camera to Liz singing him out Looney Tunes style.
    • The comment at the end of the credits, where Linkara apologizes for the Dallas joke, and notes that he is really to young to be making jokes like that. Hits particularly close to home if you found it funny, but are really too young to be getting jokes like that.
      • For that matter, the Dallas joke in the first place.
    • Christabella: "Let's just call him "Bones" shall we?"

Leonard "Bones" McCoy - "I'm quaking, but I don't know if it's with laughter or terror."

    • After a character talks about giving someone "a gift":

Here, have a bag of money.

Silent Hill: Dead/Alive Review Alternate Endings

  • His alternate ending to his Dead/Alive review where he dances to Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
    • The entire alternate ending video. Besides the Thriller dance, which is arguably also a Crowning Moment of Awesome for the fact that he did it, there was also the entirety of the phone calls interupting his Badass Boast, concluding with the part telling The Cinema Snob that he had the Manimal comic, finally getting his attention and then hanging up on him.
    • The first comment on the TGWTG posting of the video: "Never wear that shirt again."
    • The Silent Hill trademark UFO Ending getting derailed when the UFOs are shot down by the Astro Megaship.
    • Also, his battle with Pyramid Head being interrupted by freaking Zordon!

Spider-Man: The Greatest Responsibility

  • During the review of Spider-Man: The Greatest Responsibility, Mary Jane explains to Peter that regardless of what crap they face, they'll be together forever. Cut to Linkara glaring at One More Day.

Linkara: ....I HATE YOU.

    • Spider-Man - "So what's the plan?" Scarlet Spider: "I was thinking, maybe, staying alive."

Linkara!Spider-Man: "Well, you can tell by the way I walk I'm a woman's man, but how is that supposed to help?"

Action Comics #1

  • During his review of Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman, he uses the 'I am a MAN!' punch and pulls Liz into the review.

Linkara: "Liz? What are you doing here?
Liz: "I don't know."

    • And in the outtake: "Those are my sunglasses!"
    • When he reaches the "scientific explanation" for Superman's powers: "Oh, this oughta be good".
    • The romantic flying scene of Superman 1 done by "bouncing".
    • His reaction to the "embroiled with Europe" line was priceless.

Linkara: "That son of a bitch wants America to oppose Hitler! Stop him Superman!

Amazing Fantasy #15

  • Amazing Fantasy #15- Peter Parker's honking fingers.
    • Linkara!Spider-Man: "Haven't you heard? I'm a science major!" YEAAAHHHHHH!!!
    • The Acme Warehouse? My God! He's got access to the advanced technology of Wile E. Coyote!
    • The Title card in and of itself is hilarious - Spider-Man carrying Linkara under his arm and swinging around, forcing Linkara to listen to all of his angsting, all expressed in one giant word balloon.
    • Any time he insinuates that Peter will probably commit murder.

Peter: Some day they'll be sorry! Sorry that they laughed at me!
Linkara: I see a killing spree in his future!

Detective Comics #27

Linkara!Bruce: A possum, that's it, I shall become a possum!

So for the nerds out there, that would make batman roughly 23 or so when he started crimefighting. Now a days he's... thri... orty... ish?

    • "I'm not Batman! No, n-no! I'm not Batman!"

"..."
"I'm Batman."

    • His reaction to yet another cover with the hero carrying some guy in his arms.

Linkara!Batman: Huh, Spiderman's carrying some guy as well. And there goes Superman with Vincent Price. Must be Wednesday.

    • "Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot."

"Franky, don't step on that crack, you'll break your mother's back!"

The X-Men #1

  • The X-Men #1: the Call Back to his X-Men #1 review, with Professor X trying to explain expenses for the school to the Board of Directors.

Linkara!Professor X: Look, I can explain the wheel of death and the chompers... I thought my students needed more encouragement to do their homework.
Board Of Directors dude: ...Actually, we were going to ask you about the vending machines and the nutrition of your students... Spinning wheel of death you say?

    • The book describe Professor X's thoughts as "indescrible".

Linkara!Professor X (thinking): I wonder, if I used Jell-O as a toothpaste, would it turn my teeth green?

Brute Force #2

  • From Brute Force #2

Linkara: So, in your view, observe and do nothing can be reinterpreted as Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies.

    • 90's Kid's idea of how to save the environment.

90's Kid: Duuuude! I know how we can stop pollution! We can use guns! And shoot all the garbage!

Linkara: "Up top, there's a vulture with a metal mohawk, and finally there's..."
Dr. Evil: "Sharks witth frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!"

New Kids on the Block #4

  • From his review of New Kids on the Block #4:
    • After learning that Mark Wahlberg was briefly in the New Kids on the Block: "For those of you unfamiliar with Mark Wahlberg, here's a movie he was in." (runs the "talking to a plastic plant" scene from The Happening).
    • Linkara's comment about him having the feeling that the artist alley at the New Kids convention would contain Yaoi/slash pictures of the New Kids members.
    • Linkara's reaction to New Kids Fan Girl Fanny Tweetersweet having a New Kids Toenail Analyzer:

Linkara: SECURITY!!!

    • -->Caption: Our stockings were hung by the CD machine, in hopes that ol' Santa would soon make the scene.

Linkara: That won't work, for you see, it's a tight fit - SANTA COMES DOWN CHIMNEYS, YOU BONEHEADED TWIT!

Linkara: Why are you talking? Everytime you talk, you only prove why you shouldn't.

Marvel Team-Up #127

  • Marvel Team-Up #127 - Comparing Spider-Man to Shinji Ikari. What really makes it funny is that Linkara isn't exactly known for being an Otaku, so this just seems to come out of nowhere.
    • Linkara suggesting that Bette and her roommate were celebrating the holiday season by offering cocaine to their own god: Snowflame.

Linkara!Snowflame: Snowflame feels no pain.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Top 15 Screw-Ups of AT 4 W

Douchey: Wait, how'd you find me?
Linkara: What is it about magic you people don't understand?!

  • Referencing Sci Spy as a non-superhero comic, then realizing that the comic he's holding is a trade.

Linkara: Somebody collected SCI-SPY? *Beat* We'll get back to Sci-Spy next year.

  • Said to Douchey: "So by swearing, I'd look as mature as you do, huh?" It actually confuses Douchey enough that he's silent until the end of the review.
  • Regarding his Minnesota accent: "There are traces here and there, particularly when I say 'rum' or 'ruf'. It's just the way it is, and it isn't gonna change unless I spend every day saying ryoooooom and ryoooooof."


2011 Episodes

Cry For Justice #1-2

  • laughs* Implying that two asskicking superheroines from Gail Simone's critically acclaimed Birds of Prey series had a drunken threesome with Hal Jordan. *laughs then looks mad* Hilarious.
    • "Hey, we should start a band!"
    • Issue 1 begins with Hal Jordan saying he has a confession to make. Linkara's response:

"I'm pregnant!" *cue suspenseful music*

Cry For Justice #3-4

  • Then, in Cry for Justice #3-4
    • "Nope. Explosions do not work that way. Not buying it." He then points out that the kind of faulty logic that lead into it sounds like a ten-year-old's attempt at screenwriting, followed by him imitating said ten-year-old.
    • "My God... a giant intelligent gorilla and an alien are about to fight robots on jetpacks. Why is this story not about them?!?" He then sets the resulting fight scene to "Ride of the Valkyries".
    • When Prometheus says he wants revenge "on the superhero community as a whole," Linkara immediately and dryly says "Why?"

Power Rangers Zeo #1

  • Linkara's White Zeo Ranger outfit, aka "Pimpkara", first seen in Power Rangers Zeo #1. Yes, it does look awesome, but admit it - you laughed when you first saw it.
    • Huh... in my head, I thought he looked more like a rapper-wannabe... eh, to each his own.
    • I thought he looked like Michael Jackson.
      • The really hilarious part is that, from the neck down, he was totally dressed as a Ranger. But instead of a helmet he had his hat only in white, so yeah, the hat morphs too, apparently.
        • So does his jacket.
  • Linkara trotting out Neutro, stolen from Insano...only to discover that the "cockpit" control panel is a NES controller that Pollo wired into the system.

Linkara: Pollo, this is an NES Advantage!
Pollo: I got busy and never finished it.
Linkara: What do I pay you for again?!

Narrator: After a quick journey...
Linkara: Yeah, "quick" doesn't even begin to cover that, considering they traveled to ANOTHER GALAXY!

Live review (Atari Force)

  • In the live Atari Force review: "Here they come up with new ways for the Jaguar CD to not work."
    • The Situation: A World in Crisis.

Linkara: Early reviews of E.T. for the Atari 2600 just came out.

    • Linkara's various names for Commander Martin Champion a la Mike and the ‘Bots’ many names for Reb Brown's character in Space Mutiny.
    • This bit involving Linkara and an audience member responding to one of his jokes:

Mission Control: I am ordering you to -- SKWAARK
Linkara: Did Mission Control just get attacked by zombies?
Audience Member: No, it's the Ultimate Warrior.
Linkara: No, no. That's a Skronk.
Audience Member: It's the distant future of 2005. Maybe it changes.
Linkara: Ah! The evolution of Skronk.

    • Linkara's reaction to the shorts worn by one of the officers at the Peace Keeping Force HQ.

Linkara (impersonating the officer): Don't worry citizens! My hot pants will save you!

    • "Wait wait wait, she was supposed to be Irish? Crap, now I gotta start over!"
    • An audience member's reaction to the very formally constructed internal monologue of the villain:

Audience Member: Can we do that in English please?

    • Linkara reacting to the fact that the post-apocalyptic setting Atari Force is set in looks way better than the comic describes it.

Linkara: This is the cleanest Armageddon I've ever seen.

    • "Okay, what genius decided to put a claustrophobic man in space?"
    • "So, wait: in the future, individual businesses and research foundations assume all political control, instead of governments? Man, this explains so damn much about the Umbrella Corporation."

Cry For Justice #5-7

  • Justity Justice #5, 6, and Justice.
    • GINGEVITIS STRIKES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!
    • And Black Canary has turned into a Romulan.
    • Regarding Supergirl and how Off-Model she was drawn - "For heaven's sakes woman, eat a burger!"
    • To round out the Off-Model comments, his frequent mention of the "surprisingly Caucasian Firestorm."
    • The Justice League neutralizes Prometheus... and then puts his helmet back on him as they chain him up (the helmet is the source of his abilities). Linkara loses it.
      • "Wait, he gave you the codes while he was still on board the satellite? Why didn't you knock him out again afterwards?! Did he make you pinkie swear not to?!"
    • The intensely terrifying ending of the video, capped off with... Lesley Gore.

Care Bears #13

  • Linkara's initial reaction to the Care Bears comic Liz tries to cheer him up with.
    • The Great Caring War of 1998.
    • The very first two comments on the video:

mlsterben: I know how to beat Vyse! Round up a bunch of Care Bears, lure Vyse into a hall of mirrors, and let those Care Bears fire off as many Care Bear Stares as possible. It's unethical, but he'll become a saviour of universes! :D

Bullderdash: Vyse is far too clever to fall for the care bares [sic] stare, or be unprepared for the aformentioned [sic] radioactive belly buttons of any ursine nature. I'd suggest having Superman give Vyse a Mind erasing kiss.

Linkara!Care Bears!: As long as we can radically alter people's personalities with our dark powers free will is a thing of the past!

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAAAACE?!"

    • Due to Star Comics calling itself the new world in the Marvel Universe, Linkara then wonders if this means the Care Bears needed to register during the Civil War.

Superman: Distant Fires

  • Superman: Distant Fires
    • "...it's only appropriate that I give this the right kind of travel music." *Cue anime version of Route 1 from Pokémon*
    • Liz's look at the beginning of the video after she asks Linkara's role in fending off Vyce is just priceless.

Linkara: I'll be doing the most important job of all: Reviewing a crappy Elseworlds comic.

    • This comic also bears the ultimate You Fail Physics Forever moment. He get into the precise jargon about Earth Science, brings up some tweets on the topic, and even makes a swipe at Captain Planet. And it comes down to the following:

Linkara: Yes, nuclear war would most certainly devastate most, if not all life on Earth. But, IT CANNOT BLOW IT UP...And yes, that is actually what is happening. The world is blowing up and it will explode at the end of this comic.

Bored looking Linkara: Let's do the Time Warp again!

    • Linkara's new nickname for Supes.

Linkara: I know what you are. Bearded idiot.

  • "Why the repetition there? THE REPETITION THERE?!"
  • "...and if you look over there, honey, you'll see the giant, floating hallucination of my dead wife!"
  • Billy Batson starts ranting about how he was always a step below Superman:

Comic: He was always Number One, and I was always a distant Number Two!
Linkara: Well, I'll say one thing, this comic is indeed Number Two.

Youngblood #3

Doctor Who Classics #7

  • Doctor Who Classics #7 - The title card. Just seeing a confused looking 5th Doctor standing between Vyce and Linkara is hilarious.
    • Linkara and Liz making awkward small talk while waiting for Vyce to arrive, including a huge Lampshade on the absudity of a comic book review series having its own epic storylines.
    • Linkara's interpretation of 'Mad Max':

Linkara: "But then again, maybe the village can't get beyond Thunderdome. Ha! I'm catching up, Spoony!"

    • After concluding the review, Pollo announces that they've got a lock on Vyce. His response is a combination of Nine and Ten's catchphrases.

Linkara: Fantastic! Allons-y, everyone!

    • The question of should they keep Lord Vyce's ship. Linkara is downright gleeful of the prospect that it might have a minibar.
    • Linkara hitting Lord Vyce with his clue stick.
    • "Is that Lord Vyce? Tell him that he's an asshole!"
    • The Angry Joe army attacking Lord Vyce's forces on the ship. Especially since it's literally an army of Angry Joes.
    • "You know Vyce, I think you just need some Good Vibrations" Linkara then uses two sonic screwdrivers on Vyce.
      • Later, "I didn't even have to use my third screwdriver!"
  • Linkara's confusion over how to pronounce "Synthesiser."
  • "I'm just distracting you so she can stab you!"

Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four in... Brain Drain!

  • Linkara opening the Spider-Man/Fantastic Four PSA Hell with a Captain's Log ("Stardate...umm...Monday.") on his new ship dressed in a Star Trek II the Wrath of Khan era Starfleet uniform, ending in "I hope owning a ship won't go to my head. I'd hate to start walking around in a Starfleet uniform..."
    • For once, the comic has one all by itself: "Oh Doomsie, gaze upon my radiant beauty and despair!"
    • Linkara sees that the comic was written by Tom DeFalco and takes the Heroic BSOD to new levels of literalness.
    • The fact that Linksano was pacified from taking over the universe himself by a chemistry playset. Talk about Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny!
      • A junior chemistry playset, even! "That'll keep him occupied for a few months!"
    • "Okay I take it back. Reed Richards is not a genius. He is in fact a complete moron." In fact, his facial expressions at all the Idiot Plot moments (which is a LOT) in this comic are hilarious.
    • After explaining why Peter Parker is a teacher in this, he also notes: "However, he's not a teacher anymore! Why is this you ask?" *cue picture of One More Day while the Imperial March plays ominously over it*
    • "Better start with how to use the toilet."
    • "I really hope this guy is just a malfunctioning doombot"
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