< Grand Unifying Guesses

Grand Unifying Guesses/The Actor Rule


Any given actor only plays one character. Every different role they play is actually that one character, through some convoluted means.

Name changes happen to protect the innocent, and memory wipes are generally done by Haruhi Suzumiya or the Ministry of Magic. Alternate universes may also be involved. Characters that are obviously the same age as another have drunk from the Holy Grail. For example:

  • Sam Tyler is the Master. So is the Emperor Claudius.
  • Claude from Heroes is The Ninth Doctor, having used the Chameleon Arch to become one of the "heroes". Logically, this means that Hiro sent Sam Tyler back in time.
  • Hiro must be some sort of future Time Agent, as he's worked undercover as a urologist in Sacred Heart Hospital and a bathroom attendant in the Amazonian mansion of a certain Triad ping-pong master.
    • Given that Sulu is his father, this isn't too surprising...
  • Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball is a distant ancestor of Wash and is himself a descendant of Wat from A Knight's Tale.
  • Agent Casey from Chuck is a distant ancestor of Jayne.
  • Jane from Coupling is Claire from Jekyll.
  • John McClane survives the plague that destroys the world and is sent back to the past to prevent it.
  • Once all vampires on Earth are wiped out, Buffy the Vampire Slayer becomes Daphne from Scooby-Doo to clean up the remnants. None of the other members of the Scooby gang know this, though all the Scoobies do.
  • The wacky adventures of George Michael from Arrested Development did not end with Superbad, as he got Juno pregnant in later life.
  • Every role played by Morgan Freeman is God. A logical extension of this is that Morgan Freeman is the voice actor for Haruhi Suzumiya.
  • Some time after the events of Quantum Leap, Sam Beckett leaped into the body of Captain Archer of the starship Enterprise. This would initially appear to be ruled out by the fact that Sam can only leap within his own lifetime, but consider that the ending of Quantum Leap stated that Sam never stopped leaping. The series also followed a form of San Dimas Time with the other person inhabiting Sam's body in his time. Putting this together means that Sam must survive to the 22nd century and beyond, putting the events of Star Trek: Enterprise within his lifetime.
    • Alternatively, he leapt through a "DNA link" as he did with an ancestor in the Civil War. Caprtain Archer must have been a descendant.
  • River Tam is actually a Terminator. Which really explains a lot.
  • The video game version of Will Turner is actually one of many secret identities of the video game version of Superman, who is also a vampire that may or may not be Dracula. He was originally Karasu of Noein, where he gained the ability to travel through dimensions, and was bitten by another dimension's Dracula while using the alias "Hector". This also explains the true identity and motives of Itachi Uchiha, making him an all-powerful dimension-traveling vampire superhero ninja pirate. The inevitable result is for him to become the most badass freakin' Overlord in the cosmos.
  • Nikola Tesla and Pontius Pilate are the same person, both Earthly incarnations of Jareth the Goblin King, who also once fell to Earth, and a few years later, came back to tell us of a starman waiting in the sky. Then he had a bit of a singing career.
  • Put it this way: the Narrator from Fight Club's mental personality disorders didn't end with the death of Tyler Durden...
    • And, as we can see in the movie Primal Fear, it even began three years before the events of Fight Club!
  • Prior to the movie First Contact, Captain Picard somehow wound up back in Earth's past where he became a sea captain under the alias of Captain Ahab. Starfleet didn't track him down until years after he ended up there and beamed him out in the nick of time before he was eaten by The Whale. They then had to bring him back to the 24th century, shave off the hair (or what little) of it he'd grown, regrow his leg via some sort of surgery and somehow managed to restore his sanity. This would explain how he was able to recite the lines of Moby Dick in the aforementioned movie. At some other point in his life Captain Picard travelled back in time to become Professor Xavier.
    • This would mean that Captain Picard is a Time Lord.
      • Well, he'd have to be, to wind up plotting Emperor Tiberius's overthrow (which he failed miserably at, no less).
  • Bret Hart is an immortal, as he was apparently running around in the old west, and yet was a wrestler in the modern day. His career ended, not due to Post-Concussion Syndrome from a sloppy kick by Bill Goldberg, but in order to maintain the Masquerade.
  • Charlie from Numb3rs will invent time travel and strand himself in the future, where he will rename himself Mr. Universe.
  • As noted below, because Johnny Depp ("Captain Jack" Sparrow) and John Barrowman ("Captain Jack" Harkness) are the same person, they also share all of their roles.
    • Actually, Jack began life as Edward. Having graduated to high school (and gaining some hands along the way), he joined a teenage police force. Discovering his natural talent for leadership, he went on to become a Captain, but then decided that the piratey life wasn't for him, and so switched to business - the chocolate business.
      • And, of course, Jack's predecessor at the chocolate factory was Lex Luthor. All the candies and devices with weird, magical effects are actually prototypes for weapons to be used against Superman.
        • Gene Hackman and Gene Wilder are different people! Why not say Morpheous started out quoting the bible to punks and then decided to walk the earth, which is how he became a Spiritual Kung Fu mother fucker.
  • See here for some of the more... interesting implications.
  • An interesting non-sci-fi case is of one Delia Fisher. After graduating high school, she attended North Central Polytech and started going by her middle name, Lizzi. After being president of that college's Zeta Beta Zeta sorority, she was hired by the National organization to be a clean-up consultant, getting delinquent chapters, like a certain scandal-plagued chapter in Ohio, back on the right track. She then becomes a computer tech for the FBI and is dispatched to Port Charles, New York to bring down the local mob, while imitating the Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness of the local mob hacker lackey. Oh, and in her spare time, she's an assistant for a crazy-haired guy in a green lab coat.
  • An exception to this rule is Henry "Mud" Jones III, who instead has a heckuva case of Identical Grandson going on- he has two daughters. One marries "Sparkplug" Witwicky, and the other marries Stanley Yelnats, and both have children identical to their father.
  • During her stay on Earth, Guinan was at one point a nun in an abbey under the name of Sister Mary Clarence. She also somehow managed to become a judge and ended up trying Rocky and Bullwinkle.
    • And then wound up hosting a morning talk show with several other women...
  • The Doctor has had two run-ins with Sun Hill Police once in his Seventh incarnation and later in his Tenth incarnation. The Tenth Doctor is also Casanova, Edward Eddington and Barty Crouch Jr.
  • Uhura is Micah's grandmother.
    • Don't you just love time travel?
  • And Number One is Nurse Chapel's sister and Lwaxana Troi's aunt. And used her voice for the Federation computers. And is the mother of Robin Lefler. (Actually true in the Expanded Universe.)
  • The Phantom's disfigurement is a scar from a wound received in the Battle of Thermopylae. See also: Purgatory.
  • The Green Cross Code Man later turned to evil and became Darth Vader.
  • Laura Roslin is actually a gifted-children's piano teacher from the 20th century, who later married the president.
  • Captain Jack and Elizabeth Swann found the Fountain of Youth. Unfortunately, Elizabeth accidentally drank a little too much of its water and regressed to babyhood, so Jack arranged for her to be adopted by one Mr. Bennet.
  • Christian Bale is actually Batman. In a dystopian future, he is forced to lead a human rebellion against Skynet after they kill Robin. He must let the world think that Bruce Wayne and Batman are both dead. This eventually drives him completely around the bend. This is in fact the second rebellion he has led in a dystopian future.
  • This means all of Catherine Tate's characters on her show and Donna Noble are the same person. (However, given Lauren dies in the Christmas special of the former show, this might not work.)
    • She didn't die. She was recruited by Davy Jones.
  • Frasier eventually travelled to the future and became a starship captain. Unfortunately, he repeatedly crashed it into the Enterprise-D.
    • You'd think he'd have better reflexes, all things considered. On the other hand, given his record commanding military vehicles under the alias of Thomas Dodge, I guess it's not terribly surprising.
  • Lois Lane eventually moved to Wisteria Lane. At some point, H.G. Wells took her to the 24th century where she had a stint as a transporter operator on the Enterprise-D.
    • I'm confused. In what movie or show does H.G. Wells enter into this?
  • Marcie Ross was by far the most popular person in her assassination class. She received so much attention that it actually turned her visible again. Since she had already lagged behind in certain areas, mostly dealing with killing, the government simply retrained her as an FBI agent. She was released back into society under the name Audrey Hanson.
  • Sometime in the near future, the Connors move to Odessa, Texas. As part of their cover, John takes the name "Zach". His encounter with the Haitian kinda messed up his chances of becoming the leader of humanity, but by that point it was too late for Skynet - Micah could shut down Skynet without even thinking about it.
  • Elrond eventually dies, and his soul is reincarnated as a revolutionary in dystopian England. When the Transformers come to Earth, after the Norsefire party falls, Megatron bases his voice on the fighter as a scare tactic. Later, after Megatron is defeated and the Autobots leave, some rogue Decepticons establish The Matrix, and make the man of the voice of their leader into an enforcement program. Whew.
  • That would make large chunks of Schindler's List into a fight between Qui-Gon Jinn and Voldemort. Admit it, you thought that sounded AWESOME before your conscience kicked in...And if they made the lightsaber and Voldemort's spells show up in color (green) while still keeping the rest black-and-white, not even Jiminy Cricket would be able to keep from thinking it was epic. (i'm so going to hell...)
  • After drowning in a sea of blood, Pedro is reincarnated as Ganondorf and loses his compassion in the form of Donkey Kong. Incredibly NO!
  • The Ruby In The Smoke was actually an adventure with The Eleventh Doctor and Rose Tyler.
  • Cassie (A Chorus Line) eventually leaves theatre, dyes her hair blonde, and teaches drama at Albuquerque's East High.
  • After faffing about being an odd-job man for long enough, Bert decided to settle down with someone, had two kids and invented a flying car. After all that he trained for a medical degree and ended up becoming a physician in an American Hospital.
  • Maria Von Trapp is Mary Poppins. She was also the Queen of Genovia and Far Far Away and eventually ended up looking after a hyperactive six year old.
  • Every character played by Robin Williams is actually Genie.
  • Jethro from Doctor Who episode Midnight is Merlin.
  • Wait, so Jim Lovell is Forrest Gump and Charlie Wilson?
  • But this would mean that Dr. Ellie Arroway got attacked in a park and killed a whole bunch of people...
  • The Mad Hatter is Willy Wonka. He may also be Edward Scissorhands and Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • Dylan Moran is an interesting case. He started out as a thief called Rufus. Then, presumably with the money he has stolen, he started a little book shop, which became run down and unpopular due to its owner's rampant alcoholism. Later, when the book shop finally went bankrupt, Rufus!Bernard changed his name and cleaned up his act, only to die in a fatal zombie-related accident.
  • Yvonne Hartman survived her ecperience of being turned into a Cyberman (Cyberwoman?) and eventually became The Grand Mistress.
  • Spike Witwicky is an amnesiac Henry Jones III. His mother, Marion, is an epic ho who has two other sons, each by different fathers: Sam Flynn, conceived by an alien whom she met after the disappearance of Kevin Flynn, and Eragon, fathered by the Patrician during a period of time that he spent in Alagaesia. Sam Flynn was born in Alagaesia and raised by his stepfather, Morzan, under the name Murtagh, before returning to Earth to try and find his real father. As for the Patrician, he remained in Alagaesia until he tried to destroy the world using dragons, at which point he was eaten by a dragon. The intense magical powers and digestive juices turned him into the Uber-Morlock and threw him millions of years into the future.
  • Which means that Ferb Fletcher, Tim Latimer, Adolf Hitler and Paul McCartney are all the same guy. That's creepy.
  • But doesn't that make spineless Government lap dog Frobisher the same man as Magnificent Bastard Malcolm Tucker?
  • Walter Sobchak is really just Dan Conner. When he goes to California to visit his mother, he takes up bowling with The Dude instead. Eventually though, his crazy lifestyle and pulling guns on people over game (even if they are league games) catch up with him and he has to return to Lanford. When the police start to figure it out, he pretends to have had an affair with his mother's nurse, because nobody would lie to their wife about having an affair. The perfect alibi!
  • Marty McFly is his own son. And daughter. The former is explainable by his access to time travel; the latter, not so much.
  • Face and Murdock somehow got a time machine and travelled to 2 different points in the future, and changed their names. Maybe Murdock/Barclay had something to do with the cylons?
  • Clarissa was a recurring dream of Sabrina's, in order to help her cope with the previously unknown experience of being a witch. She later broke up with Harvey and used magic to change her identity.
  • Rich Halke is just an alias Nelson Burkhard uses when he's in Wisconsin. In Philadelphia, he calls himself Jason Marsden.

Every actor has also voiced the same character

Everybody in the Universe is Little Kuriboh

  • He is Dan Green, therefore he's also the rest of his roles and future roles to come. He is also every 4Kids voice actor and their roles (through being the voice of 4Kids itself in Crapsule Monsters). And if we extend it so that every character is his voice actor, many Japanese voice actors are also Little Kuriboh.
    • Since he is Joey Wheeler (and Wayne Grayson), he is also Toshiyuki Morikawa, making him Dante, Sephiroth, Griffith, and even Spider-Man!
    • He is Kaiba, therefore he is Brock, therefore he is Black Shadow, therefore he is Norio Wakamoto!
      • And after his Naruto Parody, he is also MasakoX and Vegeta3986, meaning he is also Bang Zoom! Entertainment, therefore all their characters and their VA's.
      • Also LK has been Naruto twice.
    • LK is Rica Matsumoto since he is Bakura, making him Hironobu Kageyama if you remember Rica and Hiro are alternate gender equivalents.
    • He is also the Narrator for Team Four Star's DBZ abridged, making him Kyle Hebert, which (besides making him Kamina) makes him Wario (through There Will Be Brawl), which makes him Charles Martinet, which makes him Mario!
    • It also makes him [[Bleach Aizen] and Gohan.
    • Eventually, you will get to Little Kuriboh being Haruhi Suzumiya (by way of LK -> 4Kids -> Rachel Lillis -> Jessie -> Megumi Hayashibara -> Faye Valentine -> Wendee Lee -> O-Haruhi-Sama!), making him God, a Time Lord, Shinji Ikari, and therefore EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE!
      • Back to the Megumi Hayashibara thing, LK is also Rei, who is Lilith, and therefore LK is truly in charge of Instrumentality!
      • More proof LK being a Time Lord: Since LK is also Masako X and Vegeta3986, he is also Itachi, which makes him Crispin Freeman, which makes him Kyon, therefore he is a Time Lord.

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