< YouTube Poop

YouTube Poop/Funny


Notable/Popular Authors

AlvinYTP

  • Just to note, this is the YouTube account of Alvin-Earthworm, creator of the popular series Super Mario Bros. Z, so you can expect to see some good stuff from him. For example...
    • Aladdin Commits Suicide is probably his best YTP. It's hard to make poops near ten minutes, but he makes it work by having one hilarious moment after the other.

Fat Lady: Still I think he's RATHER TASTY!!!

---

Jasmine: Who are you? Tell me the truth!

Aladdin: The truth?!

(Jasmine stares at him with a Death Glare as the music from The Omen plays. It builds up with the camera zooming into her face more and more while the screen turns red and the chanting gets louder and more dramatic, all while occasionally cutting to Aladdin, who's babbling like an idiot. Then, just as the tension gets to its highest point...)

Jasmine: I hate you. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

    • There's also some fun with Jafar:

Jafar: Pussy-pussy-pussy
Jafar: DON'T TALK BACK TO ME, YA BIG BLUE pussy.
Aladdin: Your Majesty, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's-
Jafar: Pussy.

Wario: Obey Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ario, destroy CEREAL!
Ganon: THAT'S WRONG!!!

Wario: Obey Wario, destroy TOASTERS!

Mario: THAT'S WRONG!!!

Wario: Obey Wario, destroy yo ASS!

Dr. Robotnik: STILL WRONG!!!

avojaifnot

Sally: Your videos are terrible. (pulls out clipboard covered in phrases indigenous to generic 2007 YTPs)
Jack: Not anymore! (breaks clipboard over his knee)
+10,000 SUBSCRIBERS

Esmerelda: You SUS!

Phoebus: Ah-ah-ah... I'm the god of SUS!

Spyro: Hot hot bitches!

Kiara: Why you bring me DONUTS?
Simba: Because you are Mike.
Kiara: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Kiara is clobbered by a flying box of Dunkin Donuts)

Simba: I'm counting on you. (Numbers appear over Timon's head)

Boogidyboo (Retired)

CaptainOhYeah

Mr. Read: My dick in your ass!
Mr. Haney: I'll take it.

    • When Arthur and Buster put in the porn DVD, they see a (fanart) picture of Mrs. Read undressing.

Arthur: WE GOTTA OPEN IT.

captpan6

Tom Bergeron: When BLAHBLAHBLAH heard that BLAHBLAH had done it in BLAH days, BLAHBLAH beat him by BLAH-ing it in BLAH days. What did she do?
Gilbert Gottfried: ME!
David (the contestant): I'm gonna agr-r-r-r-r-ree.


Gilbert: (with a nuclear explosion going off behind his square) YOU FOOL!

George: How do you doo-doo, Alan? Do you perhaps eat Conker's Bad Fur Day for breakfast?
Alan: (eating the cartridge) Yeah!
George: (terrified) ALERT! ALERT! BIRDS!

(boom)



Alan: I'm planning to snuff out all the niggers, and the...

George: (Spit Take) JEEZ-ASS CHRIST!



Alan: Now, I'm off to an orgy.

George: You're stupid!

Alan: Wa-hey!

Combuskenisawesome

Vakama: Do Not Want!

"It's time to go organic." [1]

CommanderGwonam

cs188

Jack: Awesome! Awesome! Glorious! -Fluttershy letting out soft screams-
Elmo: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
Jack: OK, Elmo- Wait a minute! 1, 2, 3... we found an orgy!

    • From the same pony YTP, "My little PENIS frieeeeeennnnndddds!"
    • Same poop again:

Twilight Sparkle: I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for jizzing in the salad.
Princess Celestia: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia is upset with us.

"OH PLZ! OH PLZ! OH PLZ! OH PLZ! OH PLZ!"

Deepercutt

The Joker: Jingle smells, Batman bells, Robin got laid! The Batmobile lost an egg and the Joker got a Wii!

    • Later, while Batman and Robin are watching the street below:

Robin: Doesn't it warm your heart to see everyone in the spirit of Christmas?
Batman: No.

Spider-Man: Cool Spidey outfit.
Spider-Man: Thanks.

JJJ: What are we gonna call this guy?
Hoffman: "Doctor Octopus?"
JJJ: That's crap.
Hoffman: "Doctor Octopus?"
JJJ: Crap!
Hoffman: "Doctor Octopus?"
JJJ: Pretty good. But it's taken! Wait, wait! I got it! "Doctor Ro-bot-nik".
Hoffman: I like it.
...
JJJ: What are you looking for, gay sex? Get out.
---
Peter: I'm responsible.
Aunt May: For what?
Peter: For what happened to Uncle Ben. I shot him.
---
Doc Ock: You're getting on my nerves.
Spider-Man: I have a knack for that!
Doc Ock: I'm Batman.
Spider-Man: I have a knack for that!
Doc Ock: You're getting on my nerves.
Spider-Man: Pizza time!

DaThings1

Simba: I LOL in the face of danger.

    • Rafiki drops Simba off the cliff at the start.
    • "Didn't your mother tell you not to play with your mother?"
      • The question is, does Zazu mean play with or "play with"?

Scar: That was today? Oh, I feel so gay!

    Simba: I'm gonna rock!
    Scar: Oh Dedede. *King Dedede appears briefly*

      • The Double Rainbow video gets a short cameo.
      • We are gonna play Blue's Clues!
        • Three clues do indeed appear throughout the poop. Try to find them all!
    • Since one of this troper's relatives directed a play of Into the Woods last summer, he LOL'd at {YTP} ~ Woods.
      • "I have pot for yoooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooou!"
      • "There's a lump on her rump big enough to HUMP!
      • "The woods are just wood! The trees are just wood! I have no wood, nor no one should!"
        • "Into the woods to bring some bread to Granny, who is already dead!"
          • "I sort of hate to ask it, but do you have a casket?"
      • "Jaj, Jaj, Jaj, head in a crack sack!"
      • "WoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodswoodsWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS... And home before dark!"
      • "Jaj, why so serious?
      • This little gem:

    Wolf: And what might be in your basket?
    Little Red Riding Hood: Three large oak trees.

      • "I guess this is goodbye, old plate!"
      • "What's important, really, is THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" "NO! NOT THE BEES!"
      • "Mother said not to be straight! I should've heeded her advice! And though scary is exciting, nice is different than nice!"
      • "Whoa!" "Nun!" "Sus!" "The!" "Pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink" "Never wear more than a bull" "Or open your maam!" "The difference between a bean and a bean is a bean can begin a church!" "Slots don't hold much soup!" "Whoa!" "The mob's not the end of the world!" "A servant is just a dog!" "Length is not an opportune visitor!"
      • "A big terrible lady sweeping the floooooor! But she draws you!" *graphics are drawn in pencil*
      • "The cow is GAGA!
    • {YTP} ~ Illegally Blonde is an extremely insane look at the musical version of Legally Blonde
      • "Lawl school?" "Yes, daddy. Lawl school." "Darling, lawl school is for people! And you are but a nun!"
      • "I still don't see one reason to admit you!"
        • "...Lol."
          • "WELCOME TO HARVARD!"
      • "Is he gay, or is he peein'? Or is he an elephant?"
      • "Have yourself a soup."
      • The alternate ending.

    "Eeeeveryone's deeeeeaaaad!"

    DinnerWarrior

    Monsieur D'Arque: I'm loving it. *Ronald McDonald appears*
    Gaston: Have it your way. *The Burger King appears*

      • So shall I:

    Frollo: Shigeru Miyamoto, you know I play World of Warcraft all day long, so tell me why I have constipation, Nyoro~n.

      • Me too:

    Frollo: Hellfire- *whoosh* The fire is out. *punch* Ow, my hip! *punch* Ow, my spine!

    Ursula: You're here, because you have a thing for this "Prince" fellow.
    Ariel: Da prince is gay.
    Ursula: That's right! The only way to get Mr. Prince... is to become a man!
    Ariel: Can you do that?
    Ursula: ~I admit that in the past I've been a bitch. / They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a pimp. / But you'll find that nowadays / I've mended all my ways / Repented, seen the light and made a switch to decaf!

    ---

    Ursula: Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get Deepercutt to fall in love with you. That is, he's got to fuck you. But if he doesn't, you turn back into a woman, and Krobo Productions belongs... to me.

    Link: What the fuck just happened?

    U.S Army Air Field
    Location...[CENSORED]
    No. of Planes...[CENSORED]
    What Men Think...[CENSORED]
    Mikuru Pictures...[CENSORED!!]

      • Then there's the part where the aforementioned event in the title takes place:

    Haruhi: I don't have any time for ordinary humans!
    Scout: Do you have any idea who I am?
    Haruhi: Not really.
    Scout: I'm basically...kind of a big deal.
    Haruhi: Not really.
    Scout: (while flexing his muscle) Aw man, that's beautiful.
    Haruhi: Not really.
    Scout: You listening?
    Haruhi: Not really.
    Scout: I'm a force of nature.
    Haruhi: Not really.

    Scout: I-I- don't even know where to start.

    Haruhi: Shut up!

    King: Link, where's the pizza I saved for dinner?
    Link: Yeah, like you need more to eat, you fat, old king.
    King: What did you say?!
    Link: I said you're a glutton.
    King: I'm warning you, boy!
    Link: *throws rubber chicken*
    King: Stop throwing shit at me!
    Link: *throws potato*
    Link: Fat! Fat! Fat!
    King: *throws dictionary*
    Link: Ouch.

      • Also...

    Gwonam: Your majesty. Link is in space.
    Link: Whussup?
    Gwonam: And it is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.
    King: Why Link?
    Gwonam: It is written here.
    Morshu: Who wrote it?
    Gwonam: ... That is of no concern of yours.

    Robotnik: I love this show! What's wrong with me?!

      • Dan Backslide shows up to demonstrate "a look at a typical brony", and to bring the "Confound those ponies, they drive me to drink!" meme full circle.
      • Fluttershy breaking up the big fight scene near the end. "WAAAAAIT! Cupcaaaaakes!"
      • All is made extra funny when you realize that Robotnik's reaction was probably the same as every man who watched the show for the first time.
    • The spy's reluctant request. The best parts are the knife jumping back up from the floor to hurt the Scout, the Soldier telling the Scout about having had sex with his mother and the musical Stinger at the end.
    • This bit from Mama Luigi Bends Physics

    Luigi: Anyway, I was banished from Princess Toadstool's Mushroom Kingdom, for plowing Princess Toadstool. Now, before I put my 'thing' in her 'you-know', I put on a Magnum condom. Unfortunately, the condom broke, so I took the pill!

    Yoshi: Luigi, pill is for Princess.

    [[[Beat]]]

    Luigi: YEEEEEEEEARGH!!!! Child support's gonna add up fast!

    Heavy: Some people say I touch myself. Maybe. *Cue to Heavy touching himself*

    DurhamrockerZ

    "SEAKING! SEAKING! SEAKING! OIL PAINTINGS! OIL PAINTINGS-- SEAKING!!"

    electricthecheese

    "Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!"
    "That's Mama Luigi to you, Robotnik!"

      "The train will hit the tree, and the tree will change the switch, and then, when the train goes down that side track and hits that cliff, the tree will hit the switch, and the switch will change the train, and the train will hit the cliff, and the side track will hit the tree..."

      "Hmmm...the train is late!"

      "...and the bucket will change the chicken, and then, when the bucket of chicken hits the train, Robotnik's bucket of chicken gonna go boom, and then the switch will FINGERBANG the bucket of chicken, and then the SUPER SUCKING VACUUM TRAP will run into walls, and then Mama Luigi will be pincushioned to death, and then the bucket of chicken will go out with a BANG!"

      *BOOM* "HAHAHAHAHA"

        Sonic: "You dudes lookin' for that speed-burnin' blue dude?"
        Scratch: "YEAAAAAAHHH"

        Stu: Fucking Angelica. Making chocolate pudding is my fucking life.

        Geibuchan

        Sue: Hey, where's Blinky?
        Clyde: Aah, he probably saw The Hills and took off!

        GoodVsEvil1314

        HotFriedSkadoosh

        King: Zelda, you have no breasts!

        Zelda: What?

        King: You look like a boi!

          • And then, there's the part after Zelda gets the breast implants (which was completely against her will):

        Zelda: What have you done to me?!
        Link: (performs a Wild Take)
        Link: Goddamn, Zelda! You've got back!
        King: (Face Palm) That saying is for butts, you dipshit.

        • Robotnik Forces Jay Leno to Retire. Just the beginning with Robotnik saying "It's Howdy Doody time" out of an audience of kids. And of course the ending, which you're better off seeing yourself.

        Igiulamam (Suspended)

        Saruman: The old world will burn, industry will burn, forests will burn, a new order will burn. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-
        We will drive the machine of war with the sword, and the sword, and the sword, and the spear, and the sword, and the spear, and the iron sword of the spear.

        Imaperson

        Link: Goddammit, it's so boring here, I wanna go home!
        The King: My son, this is your home and you're going to stay here until you're 18.
        Link: I wanna leave!

        JitteryDragon

        • Anything made by him.

        krakelak

        KroboProductions/Dikekike

        (A duck is smoking.)
        "No smoking... allowed... in the forest. ...fuck."

          • Later:

        Snagglepuss: Good mornin' day! I'm gay!

        Sonic: I feel the need for Robotnik's penis! (runs off)

        (Tails eats his dust)

        Robotnik: I'm on the brink of incest! YOU FAIL!
        Sonic: Gay guys like [Captain Rescue] eat penis for lunch.
        Robotnik: YER A FAGGOT!

        Customer Service Guy: How can I help you, King Dedededededededede?
        Dedede: I need a monster to clobber me!
        Customer Service Guy: That's what we do best at N.M.N.M.N.M.Dede.M.E.
        I. Pulled. Up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

        Dedede: I need a monster that can put out a fire.

        Customer Service Guy: Fuck you, King Dedede.

        Tails: Look, Sonic! There's a big black cloud over Ponyville!
        Sonic: Tails, Tails! I feel the need for Pinkie Pie!



        Captain Rescue: I saw ponies on TV, Sonic, and I fucking loved it!



        Robotnik: (showing off his force field) Matt Damon! No one can penetrate it! No one can damage it! (force field breaks) Dammit!



        Robotnik: Sonic! You're Justin Bieber!

        Sonic: (with Justin Bieber's head) Uh-oh!

        Narrator: Once upon a time, in the magical land of GERMANY... there were two regal sisters (Tia and Tamara Mowry appear very briefly) who ruled together and harmed all the land. To do this, the eldest used RELISH, the younger, brought out MUSTARD. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their KITCHEN.

          • "Are you coughing because of Gary Oak?"
          • "It's- it's so... (pause) CUTE!" "Well, it is Tim Allen!"
          • "The smallest peep could cause a huge cockslide!"
          • Later on we get pretty much the mother of all jokes, most likely aimed at the Furry Fandom

        Fluttershy: You're not a bad dragon, you just need a Bad Dragon. Now go pack your things. You just need a Bad Dragon, that's all. It´s a porn site.

          • "Dear Princess Celestia: I am Twilight Sparkle." "Twa-a-a-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
          • "That's just it, Spike. The day after tomorrow is tomorrow! It's a paradox!"
          • "My dearest and most faithful student, Twilight: you suck!"
          • Mayor: "Holy SHIT! Seize her!"
            • "Stand back, you IDIOTS!"
          • Pinkie Pie's song:

        Pinkie Pie: When I was a little GIRL and my face was going dowwwwwwwwn, my PENIS would always make God frowwwwwwwn! I'd hide under my pillow, from what I thought I pillow, But GAY Grammy said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all! He said "Pinkie, you got you you you got you you you got you you you go- learn to ice your pillow. You'll see that they can't hurt you, you just laugh to make them die! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa su-u-u-u-us!" *squeak*

        Scootaloo: We fuck the fight, fuck the walk, fuck the talk, eat the, uh, cock?

          • The parody commercials. "Hi, Billy Mays here with Dumb Fabric! It has the strength! And the struscle!" "Enjoy elephants again."
          • Pinkie Pie's other song:

        Bakin' these treats is such a bitch
        Add a teaspoon of Godzilla!

        Guy: Here's my device. [draws a penis] Let's say that this is my hard DICK. Now remember, this could be either a DICK or a COCK or a PENIS.

        Applejack: So, all you have to do is make a DICK, and LICK IT?
        Rarity: Oh-oh-oh-oh A-a-a-a-ple-le-le-ja-a-a-a-ack, you make me hard!

          • (Art of the Dress starts up)

        Rarity: Sssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex *song ends*

          • And this:

        Rarity: Please, Diamond Dogs... please let me go!
        Diamond Dog: Hmmm... nah.
        Rarity: But whatever do you want from me?
        Diamond Dog: Your precious little PUSSY!
        Rarity: Oh! Is that all?
        Diamond Dog: NO! Suck my dick!
        Rarity: Dick.
        Diamond Dog: Yes, we said dick! Suck them all!
        Rarity: But I thought you wanted to FUCK me?

        Phil: What!? Are you out of your horny little adolescent minds!?!
        Carlton: I know I am, dad. (cue dance beat)

        Will: This is my mother Carlton.... NOOOO!
        Carlton: I wanna grow! *grows for a second*...row!
        Geoffrey: You two are reeaaallllyyyyy lllaaammmmeeee!

          • "LOOK! YOU BIG-EARED FREAERF!"
          • "To me, Heaven has to be a cross between a Dikekike video and.... chicken anna nekcihc! See, it's like... I could have a leg in one hand, and a BRERB in the other!"
        • The Nutritious Chronicles of Celeryjack

        Twilight Sparkle: A pony whose contributions to--
        Rainbow Dash: Did you see Applejack out there? What an ass!
        Twilight Sparkle: Exactly! And--
        Pinkie Pie: Ya gonna eat that!?
        Twilight Sparkle: What does that have to do with Applejack?
        Pinkie Pie: (blinks, Beat) Fuck you!

          • "I believe I can FLAALF!"

        LinkOnDrugs

        Little Kuriboh

        Jafar: The princess will marry me!
        Sultan: But you're so old.
        Jafar: The princess will marry me!
        Sultan: But you're so old.

        Jafar: Tell me more about my PINGAS.
        Jasmine: And your PINGAS is so...twisted...
        Sultan: But you're so old.

          • The guards dancing to "Never Gonna Give You Up".

        Manwith10toes

        MadPilot86

        Pokédex: An effective AIDS antidote can be made by smoking weed.

        Misty: You've got to be kidding.

        Pokédex: NO!!!



        George the Volcano: No!

        Misty: Yeah!

        George: No!

        Misty: Yeah!

        George: No!

        Misty: Yeah!

        George: No!

        Misty: Yeah!

        George: No! I'll do you!

        (beat)

        Misty: Fuck you!

        George: No, fuck you!

        Misty: Go cunt yourself! Your parents are dead, and you got no friends! (flips him off)

        • Misty Has a Seizure (original video unavailable):

        Old man: First you stole my boat, and then you destroyed my boat, and then you stole my TOASTERS, and then you smoked my illegal toast, and then you destroyed my bucket of chicken, and then you stole my SUPER SUCKING VACUUM TRAP, and then you fucked my granddaughter. You'll pay for this!

        (beat)

        Misty: What the (bleep) are you smoking?

        Max: SAUWS...! Sauce-sauce-sauce-sauce--

        May: --Barbecue--

        Max: --Sauce!



        Max: (demented laugh) PINGAS PINGAS PINGAS PINGAS PINGAS!

        May: You can make fun of my Pokémon all you want, but don't you dare make fun of my CHEESE!



        Max: You won't believe what my mom did next.

        May: NO DON'T SAY IT!!

        Max: She thought my sister was gay and actually tried to fuck her!


        mark3611

        Gaston: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says Gaston to Gaston!
        Lefou: Gaston! * Gets punched*
        Gaston: I'm especially good at factoring! X2 + 5X + 6 = (X + 2)(X + 3)

        Beast: Show me the girl.
        Gaston: No one spoons like Gaston!
        Beast: (enraged) WHAT!?!?

        Billy Mays: I hate the environment. Don't you?
        And:
        Billy Mays: But I'm not done yet! Billy Mays has the strength to eliminate Germany's military.

        MasterOfZoroark

        Rigby: Think of something!
        (Mordecai thinks, Derpy Hooves appears)

        Benson: I can't even take a shower without you guy screwing--
        (Benson's towel falls off, Rigby tries to lick his exposed junk)

        Benson: Fuck no!

        Mordecai: Rule number 115: No food on the floor.
        (they proceed to knock their snacks off of the table and onto the floor, while Benson quells in horror)
        Rigby: Fuck that!
        Mordecai: Rule number 116: No shit on the floor.
        Rigby: What?! (electronic voice) That's going way too far!

            • Then Rigby's bout of explosive diarrhea afterward.
          • When they question Benson's "no unicorns" rule the scene flashes back a week earlier to Twilight Sparkle kicking a tied-up Benson and taking his gumballs.
          • Benson shows them Rule 34, followed by Rigby stating "I actually kind of like that one".

        Benson: Life without rules is chaos.
        Discord: Blasphemy. You're lucky I don't cast you out or smite you or something.

          Benson: Now get off your lazy asses and go get me another Grilled Cheese DELUXE!
          Mordecai: You know what? We're sick of all your shit.
          Benson: What?
          Rigby: Yeah.
          Benson: YOU'RE FIRED!
          (serene music)
          Benson: GET OUT!

            • Rule 118: Fired employees will be hunted down until Benson gets a Grilled Cheese Deluxe.
            • Benson gets mad over his Grilled Cheese Deluxe being charred, so he dismembers Rigby with a chainsaw. In the epilogue Rigby gets sewn back together and Benson gets arrested.
          • Twilight Wreaks Havoc Onto Bronyville has several ridiculously hilarious moments to count:
            • Gumball being offended by Robotnik's implied pedophilia, leading to the latter killing the former with a Rasengan.
            • This bit:

          Scratch: I can't believe Dr. Robotnik is Dr. Robotnik!
          Prof. Oak: Shocking, isn't it?

          Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that fucking fillies can be so much fun.
          Celestia: O:
          Pops: Oh I agree.

          MeiAIDS (Retired)

          MoBrosStudios

          Clopin: Frollo gave the child a cruel name, a name that means "half-formed" - MAMA LUIGI!


          Frollo: Let's review your alphabet. A?
          Quasimodo: Blasphemy?
          Frollo: (Beat) WRONG! Now all of Paris is burning because you don't know your alphabet!

          Quasimodo: I'm sorry, sir.

          Frollo: YOU, Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU IDIOT! I hate you! This whole city hates you! The world hates you! God hates your face, you motherless piece of shit! (evil glare with Scare Chord)



          Mario: Oh! Nice fire you've got here. Can I have it?

          Frollo: THE DEVIL'S IN MY FIREPLACE!



          Frollo: Beata Maria, burn this idiot!



          Phoebus: I'm Phoebus. It means "sexy man."



          Guard: Judge, hey, judge? Is this the part where we start kicking?

          Baljeet: I will become Hanuman-Man, a flying blue monkey that can grow his penis as massive as he desires, to give the hottest dickings ever!
          (stunned silence)
          Phineas: ...Cool story, bro.

            • And one from "One Good Scare Oughta Do It":

          Candace: These little creeps have destroyed our backyard, leaving this ugly mess in its place! (gestures to what is actually Baljeet)
          Linda: ...You are a racist whore, Candace.

            • This scene:

          Candace: What are you doing here?
          Phineas: We're directing a porno.
          Candace: What?!
          Phineas: We're gonna need a blowtorch, some peanut butter, a glass of limeade, and a giant platypus butt.

          Candace: (beat) That's so wrong, in so many ways... (spazzes out)

            • Phineas getting turned into a bagel by Mitch's security robots.
          • Eustace Loses a Political Debate:
            • Eustace getting punched out by a giant box of Lean Pockets.
            • "You can take your breakfast, and eat it in Hell!"
            • The disembodied head from "The House of Discontent" being replaced by the Mario head from Mario Teaches Typing 2: "Begin typing now, or suffer!" And just when it's about to kill Eustace for his impertinence:

          Muriel: Please have mercy on us.
          (King Harkinian pops up)

          Mario: DON'T SAY IT!

          (King Harkinian goes away)

            • Earlier in that same scene:

          Mario: I am the spirit of Harvest Moon. (box art for Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life appears)

            • "Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits." "That's Christmas, you moron!"
            • King Ramses torturing Eustace and Muriel with Rebecca Black's "Friday". It literally requires divine intervention to destroy the phonograph.

          Courage: Thanks, God!
          God: No prob!


          MountainDewMaNN

          MrRoboto113

          • I.M. Meen Vs. Mr. Roboto. It's even better with the second alternate title: "Mr. Roboto gets into a legitimate argument with a fictional game villain." Either way, though, it is hilarious. This troper lost it somewhere around the 2:51 part, and is genuinely surprised he made it all the way there.

          MrTennek

          Mario: How very charitable of her majesty to summon us to a social gathering of prepared foods and open-handed cordiality, regardless of the immense difference in our societal statuses!

          Luigi: I aspire that her royal highness prepared a plentiful amount of authentic Italian noodles smothered in tomato paste and garnished with onions and balls of concentrated hamburger meat!

          nirorinify

          The_None

          pilli10

          QuibbyJibby

          Link:I'm going to fuck Glutko!
          Gwonam: Glutko is evil.
          L: Huh?
          G: Glutko is Ganon's minion.
          L: Huh?
          G: Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.
          L: Huh?
          G: Ganon and his minions are evil.
          L: I'm going to fuck Glutko anyway.

          G: ...Rick Astley. *cue Rickroll*

          Zelda: Father! Stop! Don't hurt him!
          King Harkinian: Fuck you -slap-

          Squirrelous (Suspended/Retired)

          Scratch: Only thirteen more seconds and Dr. Robotnik's gonna be here and tell us how we can [2] ya!

          Grounder: Yeah, huh huh! I bet we get to [3] you in the![4]

          Stegblob

          SwishFilmsinc

          • ALL of The King's Secret, once said to be the There Will Be Blood of YouTube Poops. (Don't quote it here please, let everyone enjoy the NSFW hilarity for themselves.)
            • Pretty much every poop by SwishFilmsinc is one long CMOF. This comment on the The King's Secret says it all.

          WalrusGuy: You're the best. That's all there is to it.

              • When you get such a comment from none other than WalrusGuy himself, you know it must be true.

          tkwtube01

          tomservo3

          Goofy: You are racist, evil and...FAT AS A FAG?!?!?

            • The Dr. Rabbit joke

          Dr. Rabbit Ha ha ha. You are now a gay rabbit. All rabbits are queers. Oh...wait! I'm a rabbit. Crap.

          TorNis7

          I.M. Meen: This book was made by Frank Miller, but it isn't good! It's horrible! It sucks monkey balls! It's the most confusing book I've ever read! The story makes no sense!

          I. M. Meen: How I hate- *slips and falls*
          I. M. Meen: How I hate those- *detonated by sticky bombs*
          I. M. Meen: How I h- *cracking sound, being unable to get up*
          I. M. Meen: How I hate those Heavy Heavies!-
          Heavy: What was that, I. M. Meen? *cuts to Gnorris while Heavy fires his minigun at Meen*
          I. M. Meen: How I- *pauses* Fuck this!

            • And earlier...

          I. M. Meen: ... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?

            • And even later...

          I. M. Meen: I got a little crack that'll really make me high.

          I.M. Meen: Ass! Ass!
          Gnorris: What?
          AVGN: AAASSSSSS!

          thechairman45

          Walrus Guy

          "Fu** shi* sh** ta** **** meals..."'

          Kid: What's the matter? Lose your smile at the dentist's chair?
          Female Rabbit: No! He's just going to die.
          Kid: Cool! *shits his pants*
          Kids: Blecchhh!
          Female rabbit: That's why you should limit the number of times you eat snacks between meals!

            Doctor Rabbit: ...which reminds me of a story!
            Kid: A story? Does it have LOTSA SPAGHETTI?

            Doctor Rabbit: Well, no...but it does have nudity.

            Kids: Cool!

            Female rabbit: Once upon a timeSTORY OMITTED FROM TRIAL VERSION. PLEASE REGISTER WITH COLGATE UNLIMITED ACCESS TO UNLOCK ALL FEATURES.

            D.W.: Dad, why won't Arthur wake up?
            Dad: ...I think he's dead, honey.

            Simon: When the village chief is happy, we're all gonna die.

            Waxonator

            King Louie: Give me the power of man's red flower so I can be like you.
            Bagheera: Fire?!
            Death Star operative: Commence primary ignition. [begins to fire the Death Star's ray]
            Bagheera: NOT YET!!
            Darth Vader: Crap. [the Death Star explodes]

            (Kaa with a trollface on his head sees Mowgli, slithers down and reads from 'The Script', then slithers up to Mowgli)

            Kaa: Sssay, now...what brings your muscle-y arms out this way?

            Mowgli: I'm not afraid...
            {{[[[Star Wars]] Yoda}} pops up from nowhere]
            Yoda: You will be... You will be... [slips and falls out of the tree] WAGH!!

            Zazu: Your parents will be killed.
            Simba: What?
            Zazu: Magic. *snort snort*

            Whelt

            • It's time to let Elton John beat up dinosaurs:
              • I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
            • Granny Jafar learns to live with menopause:
              • GRANNY'S GONNA GRAB YA!
            • Stu makes a mix-up with the mixes at 4 am:

            Stu: Here's your AAAAAAHHHH, Angelica.
            Angelica: Where's the chocolate pudding?
            Stu: Chocolate pudding.

            wikiwow

            Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

            Robotnik: I'm demoting you to pingas monkey third class. Now go and mop up the cum.
            Robotnik: Throw von Schlemmer in the cum!"

            "Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like a girl, your white friend, and CoCo!"

            Billy Mays

            I.M. Meen

            I.M. Meen: Oh look, what gay fuckers!
            I.M. Meen: How I hate those Power Rangers! (Power Rangers appear, Meen yells)

            I.M. Meen: How I...how I...shit!

            I.M. Meen: Oh look, Giygas!

            I.M. Meen: How I hate twilight! (screen is covered in a different twilight than you would normally expect) What the fuck?!

            I.M. Meen: WHERE'S THE DAMN BACKGROUND!?


            King of the Hill


            The Legend Of Zelda C Di

            Morshu: It's yours my friend, as long as you have MINERAAALZ!
            Ganon: IT BURNS! (after being hit by a nuclear missile)

            Lupay: You're someone who must die!
            Harlequin: Don't say no to me! Let's see your tits.

            Gwonam: Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai.
            Zelda: C'mon! I'll go fight Ganon's evil legions!
            The King: Hmm...OHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA..NO WAY!

            Gwonam: It is written: only Link can defeat Ganon.

            The King: Who the hell is Link?

              • There's also this bit:

            The King: I'm going to fire you, mah boi.
            Zelda: No.
            The King: What? Why not?
            Annotation: Because falcomaster925 told you not to.
            The King: Fuck.

            • The Link and the Hyrule Gang series by MechaWeegee91.
              • In Episode 4:

            Gwonam: Ganon and his minions are throwing a party at my house!
            Ganon: (while wearing a party hat) GRRRRREAT!

                • Also:

            The King: 'Scuse me while I take a shit! (farting noises)
            Gwonam: You! What in the holy mother of fuck is wrong with you?! And can we stop with the zoom?

            *camera zooms out*

            The King: Uh...next scene!

              • In Episode 5, the Gang acts out the original opening cinematic of Link: The Faces Of Evil, only this time Link plays the King's role and vice versa. Zelda reluctantly joins in, acting as Gwonam, but The King points out that she forgot the carpet, causing her to snap and attack the camera.
                • Ganon does poetry. That is all.
                • Gwonam teaching the King how to say Koridai.
              • Episode 6 has the King consulting Gwonam in order to find out if he's going to hell.

            Gwonam: Are you...what?
            The King: Am I going to hell?
            Gwonam: Are you serious?
            The King: I'm cereal.
            Gwonam: Now, what made you think about this?
            The King: I watched a YouTube Poop of me dying and going to hell.

                • Gwonam and the King decide to play horse, but not before Gwonam addresses the viewers and the hilarity that ensues after it:

            Gwonam: You don't wanna see how we play horse. It's so boring. You won't like it. Trust me. Hurry up, King!
            The King: I've gotta get the ball! Coming!
            Gwonam: That is no ball! That's Mario Head!
            Mario Head: Oh, nice arm you got here! *holds up knife* Can I have it?

            Annotation: Is that a threat?

              • The entirety of Episode 8. Especially the ending.
              • Episode 10 has these gems:

            The King: Link, we're having a cereal conversation here.

            Link: Great, I'll grab the LinkyO's!

                • Link talking to himself after he's left to watch the house.

            "No rules, no fights, no generic sex jokes...just me enjoying a peaceful day."

                • Zelda having to put up with Gwonam and The King's antics.

            "This is the last time I go anywhere with you dipshits."

            The King: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
            Duke Onkled: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
            Link: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
            The King: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE take him away.
            Fari: Yes, my liege. ...
            The King: ...
            Fari: ... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


            My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic

            Twilight Sparkle: She's a bitch.
            Crowd: A what?!
            Twilight Sparkle: A bitch, and she was born a bitch.
            Applejack: Born where?! I've never seen a bitch like that in these parts!

              • A bit of a Reverse Funny Aneurysm that happened with this video is that at one point it really was no longer available due to a copyright claim by Hasbro Inc.
              • Pinkie Pie eating a bird.
              • "If you slowed down and looked where you were going, you'd see that you tripped over Barack Obama!"
              • "Don't ever let me catch you doing my mother again!"
              • This scene:

            Twilight: "I don't want anyone thinking I jack off to ponies, like Trixie!

            Trixie: Neigh!

            Pinkie Pie: Stop with the Ace Attorney references, Mike! It's time to get baked!

            Twilight Sparkle: (on seeing the Atomic Rainbomb) Holy shit, Applejack's dead!


            SpongeBob SquarePants


            Super Mario

            King Koopa: I want my feet licked!
            {two of his minions start licking his feet, then "Bought to you by Deviant ART" appears at the bottom of the screen}

            "Look, I'm a video game!" *Scene from Super Mario Bros. plays*
            "When the moon BUUUURNS your big pizza pie, that's no good."

            • Spiritanium's Hotel Mario Bloopers 2. The best part is the credits, which take up half the running time and are well worth it to read.

            This quite impressive video was originally posted on Spiritanium's Youtube channel. If you're watching this and you don't see "Spiritanium" on the page you're on right now, something's up. Alert me so I can sue the thief or thieves, therefore getting them placed in a dirty jail cell where they will thereafter be raped by an aged man named Jessica. Yup, any idiot that would repost this video anywhere has either not even watched the credits or is just an idiot with no friends and a mother who doesn't love him/her. But most likely "him". I just don't imagine a female stealing a video filled with blood and explosions. It violates the laws of physics.

            Mario: We gotta save the princess!
            Luigi: And, youuuuuuuuu...

            Cheatsy: At last, my dad has cum!

            King Koopa: Bully, suck Big Mouth's cock!
            Bully: Pinkie Pie.

            Prince Hugo: My royal army has just been defeated by niggas.

            eldoop erutainim A


            Team Fortress 2

            Spy: Yippee!

            (A Meet the Spy scene where the RED spy breaks the BLU medic's neck and disguises himself in front of his eyes)
            Medic: ... and ze doctor was never heard from again! (evil laughter)
            Heavy: WAAAAAHHH!


            Crossovers

            King: "Ready. Set. GO AND KILL!!"
            Link: "Huh?"
            King:' "Wait, I mean, GO AND cum!"

              King: "Your prize is 1 penny. Ohohohohoho!"
              Link: ">:( GO AND KILL yourself."
              King: "What if I gave you 2 pennies?"
              Link: "Fucking great!"
              King: "Well, tough shit, you only get 1 penny!"
              Link: "I HOPE YOU GET RAPED!!"

              The Spy: "Engineer, what are you doing?"
              The Engineer: "Erectin' a dispenser!"
              The Spy: "It's 4 o'clock in the morning, why on earth are you placin' a dispenser here?"

              "I've provided you with a couple of different drugs... like, the one where you go..."

              Leo: This is my photo album, where I keep all my pictures, even my baby pictures. Do you wanna see my baby pictures?

              Mario: No.

              Leo: You will?

              Mario: No.

              Leo: Great!

              Wilt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO, NO, NO! NO, NO! NOOOOOO!

              Bloo: Sheesh, calm down.

              Wilt: NOOOOOO!

              "Rainbow Dash, who always dresses in style, represents the spirit of..."

              "Rarity, who turned the sorrowful serpent into a cupcake, represents the spirit of..."

              "Pinkie Pie, who's a silly pony, represents the spirit of..."

              "Applejack, who tamed the cows, represents the spirit of..."

              "Fluttershy, who exploded, and then... and then exploded again!"

              Other Sources

              "I'm talkin' 'bout that Be-MONEY."
              "I'm tryin' to say, is that, the Fiddy-Cent game can suck fat hairy dick."
              "You've got Beat-ma-ni-a TWO dee-ecks, D-D-R, Pah-pin-mu-sic."

              "I need to play some Chi-bi-kko I-dol."

              "Raspberry Heaven! HELL! / I came and am waiting for you / The gentle dream of HELL!"

                Tomo: "Mr. Kimura, why did you decide to become a high school teacher?"
                Mr. Kimura: "CUZ I LIKE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, THAT'S WHY! CUZ I LIKE TIIIIINY MINISKIRTS, THAT'S WHY! CUZ I LIKE SEXUAL HARASSMENT, THAT'S WHY! CUZ I LIKE TO TOUCH YOU IN A PLACE OR IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, THAT'S WHY!"

                "Upon their arrival, Pigma betrayed Andross, and James betrayed Peppy, and the evil maniacal barren deserted James' son Fox betrayed his fate, and the team betrayed Pigma Dengar."

                  Fox: "Check your G-Diffuser System!"
                  Falco: "Falco here. I'm fine. Something's wrong with the G-Diffuser!"
                  Peppy: "This is Peppy. Do a Barrel Roll!"
                  Falco: "I could use some help here, Fox!"
                  Slippy: "Slippy here. I'm a monkey!"
                  Falco: "HEY EINSTEIN. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THE G-DIFFUSER."

                    Fox: "Let's take care of these guys first."
                    Wolf: "Can't let you do that, Star Fox!"

                    Peppy: "Fox, take it easy!"

                    Wolf: "Can't let you do that, Star Fox!"

                    Peppy: "Do a barrel roll!"

                    Wolf: "Can't let you do that, Star Fox!"

                    Peppy: "Everybody stay alert!"

                    Wolf: "Can't let you do that, Star Fox!"

                      Andross: "I've been waiting for you, Star Fox. You know that I control Canada!"

                      Last week, I saw a horror film,
                      As I recall, it was a film

                        I try my pants and it feels me
                        And when we're holdin' hands,
                        It's like holding hands

                        Stone Cold Steve Austin: A chicken fried steak sandwich is the Undisputed Champion?
                        Stone Cold Steve Austin: Y2J, you said you're calling Stone Cold Steve Austin "Tater Tots"! Tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin ain't gonna be no Tater Tots!

                        Jake: The vampire SMASHED THEIR DICKS, just for the fuck!

                        Lara: Hi! I'm high! *jerks spastically*
                        Lara: I hate gays. I hate water. I hate satisfaction. *Screen turns monochrome, Untitled by Simple Plan starts playing* I hate Tomb Raider 3. I hate Lara Croft. I hate locations. I hate flames and explosions. I hate Tomb Raider 1 and 2.

                        Dr. Venture: Officer? There's a robot shooting my butterfly suit with a laser beam!

                        • I can't pinpoint the exact reason, but after this I cannot hear "diabetes" without laughing my ass off. (No offense to actual diabetici, of course)
                        • IkwaylxZ's N.BRIO INVENTED ME, from start to finish.

                        N. Brio: I have invented... I have invented... (loses his shit)

                        The boys thought it fun to stone Henry until he was dead.
                        Fireman: "Call the police!"
                        "No," said Henry's driver. "We're not tattletales." So they went home, leaving Henry. "Goodbye, Henry." Next morning, some birds tore out Henry's liver.

                        Mami: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!
                        Charlotte as Heavy Weapons Guy: THAT WAS DELICIOUS!
                        Madoka and Sayaka: *gasp*

                        Cindy Bear: Honestly, Yogi, it's your fault!
                        Yogi Bear: M-my fault?
                        Ranger Smith: I told you Yogi was no good, sir!
                        Doggie Daddy: I'm afraid I've got no choice but to remove you from da fresh and new line-up!
                        Dick Dastardly: D'oh Yogi! is cancelled, cranberry head!
                        Skeeter: We did it!
                        Kermit the Frog: Yayyyyy!
                        Yogi: I mean, what's that guy got that I do not got?
                        Boo-boo: About a hundred million fans.

                        Frollo: I'll find me if I have to burn down all of my hair!

                        "Heil Hitler! Heil Pichu! Heil Hail!

                        Jon: Eat each pie and roll and tart and roll and tart and pie and pie and tart and pie (the Pi symbol appears) and roll (An image of Roll.EXE appears) and tart! (the word tart appears)

                        Ghost: 347, Radio Graffi-

                        Bandit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

                        Ghost: GODDAMN ALL OF YOU GODDAMN TROLL TERRORISTS! *cans.wav*

                        From the first one: Then a knock on the door, the gun's in my hand/He opens the door, the gun's in my hand/He looks at the closet, I pull out my Beretta/He opens the door, I can't believe it's a midget... ...Well...GET TO THE POINT! Or I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY...

                          • It's the way the guy just lets his arm drop and stares into oblivion, like his life is now complete that makes it!

                        From the second one: Twan opens the door and it's Rosie the nosy neighbor...then all of a sudden, POW!

                          • Plus the Mood Whiplash thirty seconds later...

                        And then we all laughed, Twan said, "She gonna die?" "No doubt!"

                        Skarmory: I CARE WHO YOU ARE AND I LIKE YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!

                        Doc: Get the Pope!

                        Coachman: And what's your name?
                        Donkey: Jackass!

                          • And...

                        Lampwick: Hey, you laugh like a jackass!

                        Bloo: Check out my 64!


                        Collabs

                        Whoever is Justin Bieber let him be Harry Potter. Whoever is righteous, let him be filthy. Let him kill his father. Let him call his father names. I suck, and I beat a dead horse.

                        1. ↑ Bonus humor points if you watched One Thousand Ways to Die and know the carrot's role in that scene
                        2. ↑ (Nesquik)
                        3. ↑ (Zorori)
                        4. ↑ (OH SHIT)
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