1000 Ways to Die

Warning: The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted... YOU WILL DIE!

"Death is everywhere. Most people try to avoid it; others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness, and catastrophe. There are a lot of ways to wind up dead; the fact that we survive at all is a miracle. Because every day we live, we face... a thousand ways to die."

Spike TV's 30-minute anthology of people dying in spectacular, gruesome and often stupid ways. Names were changed to avoid lawsuits, but the stories are based on actual events-- supposedly. Each episode also includes commentary from various experts on the science behind the deaths. The final story of each episode, up until season one, shows actual footage of dangerous situations that almost ended in death, along with interviews with those involved, who survived. The series aired two pilot episodes on Spike in May 2008, with Thom Beers (owner of Original Productions, the company that produces the series) narrating. Ron Perlman took over as narrator when the first season began regular weekly airings in February 2009; starting with "Tweets of the Dead", Joe Irwin assumed narrating duties (Perlman's voice is still used in the disclaimer and title sequence). It's not known for sure if it's a permanent change.

Official site here. See also the Darwin Awards, which are based upon essentially the same thing. The main difference is that the Darwin Awards emphasize the "stupidity" aspect, whereas 1000 Ways usually favors the "got what they deserved" variant (though there are a lot of stories in both this show and "The Darwin Awards" in which the victim was Too Dumb to Live).

Tropes used in 1000 Ways to Die include:

A-E

  • Acceptable Breaks From Reality: Yes, some of the stories featured on the show are baloney, but they're still pretty damned funny.
  • Adult Baby: Barnaby (the infantilist who got his neck broken from the oversized drop-gate crib he built) in "Crib Your Enthusiasm."
  • Anachronism Stew:
    • On the episode featuring the death of a gym teacher who impaled himself in the eye with his own javelin, the students in his class take a picture of his corpse with a camera phone before running off. The story took place in 1993, well before the days of camera phones (and cell phones in general) being commonplace.
    • How about the gunstore incident (in which a petty thug accidentally sticks up a gun shop instead of a jewelry store and gets shot by the customers and clerks, who were all legally armed and acting in self-defense) in 2001, where there was a sign showing a Blu-Ray logo.
    • And in Tali-Bombed, one of the terrorists says his favorite American celebrity is Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus wasn't famous until 2006 (which was when Hannah Montana premiered on The Disney Channel), despite this story taking place the previous year.
  • And I Must Scream:
    • "Dive Bombed": The scuba divers who avoided getting decompression sickness when they came up top...then boarded a non-pressurized Cessna for a joyride. The lowered air pressure induced the DCS they were trying to avoid getting, resulting in all three of them, and they were forced to watch in helpless paralysis as the plane flew straight at a mountain.
    • "Chippin' Dale": The construction worker who gets shredded alive by his wood chipper after using his foot to dislodge a jam. What makes it worse is that this type of death is distressingly common in Real Life [1].
    • "Drunk Die-er": The drunk driver who was still alive and had to not only watch his organs being harvested before they took out his heart, but feel every second of it.
    • "De-Coffinated": The Haitian man who was paralyzed by his brother through a witch doctor's toxic dust and buried alive.
    • "Constriction Accident": The construction worker who was buried up to his neck thanks to a truck driver who went to work with a hangover, but died slowly and breathlessly because the pressure on his chest prevented his lungs from expanding.
    • "Suffer-Cated": A cyclist trying to get an edge over his competition uses an altitude tent to increase his red blood cell count, giving him more oxygen to burn while cycling. His dog, who's been deprived of food and water at the expense of the cyclist's training, accidentally turns off the oxygen while getting his water bottle. The cyclist wakes up, panics from the lack of air, and falls door-down in his tent and suffocates to death.
    • "Smoke Stalked": A crazy ex-girlfriend who wouldn't accept the fact that her ex-boyfriend was married to another woman ends up stalking him to the point that the couple go away on vacation to escape her. The girlfriend decides to break in the house by climbing through the chimney, Santa Claus-style. Unfortunately, she gets stuck for days, wasting away from starvation, suffocation, and dehydration. When the couple returns, they freak out when they find the ex-girlfriend's corpse blocking the flue in the fireplace.
    • "Pretty Fly For A Dead Guy": A nerdy man bent on killing bugs creates wall-sized flypaper treated with an extremely sticky glue as a means to capture any and all creepy crawlies. Once he's finished, a mosquito buzzes around him and the man goes after it with a flyswatter. The man slips and gets stuck to the wall, completely immobilized, soiled from losing control of his bladder and bowels, and dead days later from dehydration and the bugs turning his body into a buffet.
    • "Texas Fold 'Em": A poker player who regularly cheats gets in trouble when he uses his cheating tricks on a group of workers with ties to the mob. The player makes a run for it and ends up in an old car. What he doesn't know is the car is scheduled for destruction. A claw drops and the door pins down on his leg, rendering him immobile. A forklift takes him to a car compactor (no one can hear his screams because of the machinery) and he is slowly crushed to death while fully conscience and had to watch himself get crushed and slowly asphyxiate.
  • And There Was Much Rejoicing: The show is pretty egregious about this trope. Two of the more blatant examples include "Bitch Zapped" [2] and "Boys 2 Dead." [3]
  • Anyone Can Die:
    • The victims of "Lesbo-cution" (the woman who decided to become a lesbian after breaking up with her boyfriend -- and never came home to have sex with her best female friend because she took off her shoes and stepped into a puddle that had a frayed electric wire in it), "Fright-mare" (a woman dies in her sleep from cardiac arrest after having a nightmare about a demonic dwarf who strangles her), "Nite-Capped" (a man walking home from a New Years' Party with his girlfriend gets shot by a stray bullet from a group of guys who shot their handguns in the air), and "Belly'd Up" (a belly dancer practicing for an upcoming competition accidentally hangs herself on a moving ceiling fan while practicing), just to name a few notable examples
    • And then there's "Tanked Girl" (the sexy scuba diver who exploded after the night janitor accidentally opened her decompression chamber), "Tanks For Nothing" (the Buddhist yoga practitioner who got bitten by a Florida water moccasin), "Radium Girls" (the story of the 1920s female workers who were exposed to radioactive paint at their job), "Sex Ray" (the patient who got radiation poisoning while watching his doctor bang his assistant -- whose backside was banging the "ON" button of the X-ray), "Pissed Offed" (the Irish golfer who went to America to play -- and got a fatal infection from a rat who climbed into his pants and pissed on his scratches), "Fin-ished" (the female fisher who finally caught a fish -- but it flew in her mouth and suffocated her), "Ichi-boned," (the repressed Japanese couple who died after finally consummating their marriage) and "Poi Vey" (the Orthodox Jew who tried to woo a hula dancer and burned to death after being rejected and getting drunk to dull his pain).
      • The trend of killing off innocent victims finally leveled off by the fourth season, when pretty much everyone who died was given some negative quality to make the death justifiable. Nonetheless, opinions vary on some of these.
  • Asshole Victim:
    • Generally, most of the victims are portrayed as either assholes, idiots, or both, presumably to make the Black Comedy easier to accept (though most of the early episodes had people who were more-or-less innocent and still died in some horrific way). For example, a banker foreclosing on a hard-working immigrant's army surplus store ends up shooting himself in the head with a .22 caliber pen-gun. With such a winning personality one would hardly shed a tear for him.
    • Then there's the idiot who tried to get a car to crash into a fire hydrant by blinding drivers with sunlight reflected off of a mirror...and it worked, only for the hydrant to fly into the Jerkass's head and splatter his brains over the pavement.
    • Then there's the Expy of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jersey Shore who constantly fixed his car with the music blaring. When his wife kept yelling at him for it, he pushed himself out from under his car and into the path of an oncoming road cleaner. Results were not pretty.
    • Another Jersey Shore reference, a 20-something bodybuilder who mistreats his girlfriend attempts to inflate his inner-tube with tire sealant. Managing to fulfill that task, his cigarette ignites the outer layer of the tube and ignites the tire sealant, causing a massive brain hemorrhage.
    • There's the one about the guy who would carjack innocent women. One day, he attempted to carjack another woman. However, just as he was about to carjack her, she rolled up the window, and his neck was trapped in the window. Why didn't the woman notice that she had a carjacker trapped alongside her car? She was deaf.
  • Ass Shove:
    • "Mercury in Uranus": The one about the hospital patient (who has been in the hospital numerous times for sticking objects up his rectum -- a common sight in most hospitals) who killed himself when he shoved nine glass thermometers up his butt -- all of which broke, gave him mercury poisoning, and cut up his large intestine.
    • "Butt Plugged": Also, the recently released convict who, when confronted by an officer, shoves a can of his illegal pepper spray up his ass to keep from violating parole. The cop pushes him against the side of his truck...and bam! Pepper spray in the colon.
    • "Eel Effects": The sushi school students who shove an eel up their drunk teacher's butt as payback for the abuse they struggled through during his lessons.
      • More exactly, they pranked the drunk teacher via putting the eel in his pants. Then the eel got into the guy's butt and began to bite its way in...
    • "Mary Lou Rectum": The washed-up gymnast who dismounted off a trampoline and got a parallel bar support jammed between her vagina and rectum.
    • "Fire In The Hole": A Neo-Nazi uses his dim-witted brother, who shoved a hand grenade up his butthole before getting arrested, in a jailbreak plot. The brother tries to poop it out, but it doesn't move. The Neo-Nazi tries to retrieve it by using a gloved hand up his rectum. He only succeeds in retrieving the pin and not only kills his brother, but also dies in the explosion.
    • "Colon-Gross-Oppy": A tomboyish college student competes with her male roommates in gross-out contests. She tries to one-up them in a farting contest by sticking a can of whipped cream in her bum to produce gas. Unfortunately, she dies from massive hemorrhaging since the gas in the can causes internal necrosis and hemorraghing.
    • "Critter in the S***ter aka Ferret in the Hole": A ferret legger (someone who tries to see how long he can hold ferrets in his pants) cheats by starving his ferrets to make them more calm, so they will not squirm or crawl out. This works until one of the poor ferrets goes up his bum and gnaws at his haemorrhoid, which bursts open, causing the man to bleed to death.
    • "Hi-Jacked Off": A drug addict who carjacks drivers makes the brilliant decision to hijack a former female boxer. The woman decks the man in the face and his anus gets stuck on a tire nozzle, which inflates his intestines and blows his guts out.
  • Bad Boss: The wannabe gangsta-rapping Chinese jewelry-factory owner in "Bring-Bring," who makes his workers keep long hours, pays them nothing, and forces them to listen to his sad attempts at rapping. The workers get their revenge on him by making him a grill lined with rosary peas -- which contain the highly toxic substance, abrin.
    • The Portuguese dude who goes to the Amazon to search for gold and abuses the natives he hired. He then went into the river to pee, and got a candiru stuck in his junk. Pulling it out didn't help either; all it did was attract pirhanas that eat him alive, much to the delight of the poor Brazilian slaves who had to deal with him.
  • Bait and Switch: Sometimes, there will be a twist on how a character will die:
    • For example, one death has several Viet-Cong veterans play Russian Roulette to settle their argument over what's the best aphrodisiac. After all of them survive, they celebrate by stomping the ground... which triggers a land mine left over from the Vietnam War still in working condition (so to speak).
    • Another death has two people sneak into a neighbor's pool, which is under construction. After swimming dangerously close to submerged power cords and the man nearly shooting a nailgun at his girlfriend (he ends up hitting her beer can), the male decides to make a Slip-N-Slide using a tarp. Of course, nobody notices the nail sticking through the tarp, which disembowels him.
    • The drug addict who ingests meth, cocaine, prescription drugs, and PCP. Rather than drop dead from an overdose, he put a lava lamp in a microwave to speed it up. It explodes.
    • "Cult Evaded": A goth girl, whose religious fanatic foster parents and their friends subject her to a bizarre exorcism ritual because they mistake her interest in Goth for being possessed by Satan himself. At first, you think they and their lunatic friends are going to end up killing her in the process of "driving away the Devil," but in the end they all die from breathing the carbon monoxide fumes from the coal and incense they were burning in a closed tent...except for the girl, who had the fortune of being in a layer of fresh air near the ground. She managed to escape, not knowing, realizing, or even caring that her foster parents are dead.
    • A redneck survivalist takes a walk with a meat hook connected to a chain. Does he die electrocuting himself by throwing the hook onto a power line so he can poach electricity for his TV? Nope. Does he die from hanging himself while trying to lift an elk carcass? Nope. Does he die by falling into a ditch and impaling his throat with the meat hook? Hell yeah.
    • "Death Of Sum Young Guy": (See Death by Gluttony below.)
    • "Cast Offed": A redneck ends up breaking his arm while cutting wood. Not one to spend his welfare money on something useful like a hospital visit, he makes his own cast. He uses a power saw to cut the cast off some time later and manages not to cut his arm open and bleed out in spectacular fashion. He still dies, though, because his improperly set bone caused bone marrow to seep into his bloodstream and give him an embolism.
    • The two Japanese-American teen boys playing with katanas. You think that one of them would slice or stab the other one, right? Not really -- as the one Japanese boy gets ready to finish off the other, he gets stopped when his katana hits a low-hanging power line and fries his ass.
    • "Pam Caked!": You think the new girl on the cheerleading squad would have died from falling head-first to the ground thanks to the Alpha bitchy head cheerleader letting her go. Turns out the bitchy cheerleader is the one who dies when she gets trampled by the football team running through the banner.
    • "Orspasm": A woman suffers from Persistant Genital Arousal Disorder (a condition that's basically The Immodest Orgasm on a frequent basis and not as fun or Fanservicey). You would expect the constant orgasms to wreak havoc on her body or be the catalyst in an accidental suicide, but no. Instead, her boyfriend (who takes sick pleasure in making her come by tickling her and using vibration) bites it when he pokes her in the back with a muscle massager. The woman goes into one of her orgasm spells and knocks the guy down the stairs, and he dies of head trauma and a broken neck.
    • "Furdered": They actually show two different ways this survival enthusiast died: by falling into a spiked pit he made and getting a bear trap to the face. He actually dies when another hunter mistakes him for a game animal because of the pelts he was wearing.
    • "Onesie & Donesie": An accident-prone home shopping network host manages to avoid death by having a folding ladder fall out from under him and having a piece of a samurai sword's blade break off and hit him in the chest (both of which are references to viral videos that showed the same thing), only to burn to death when a onesie he's wearing catches fire on a scented candle.
    • A perverted janitor at a prepatory high school uses a video camera to capture some scantily-clad field hockey players during practice. He manages to dodge a puck sent his way by one of the players, only to get brained a few moments later by another girl practicing her hammer throw.
    • The asshole son of an exec tries to put on a motivational seminar for the company's employees. During a round of sumo wrestling in fat suits, one worker, whom he let fall during a trust exercise when he was supposed to catch her, knocks him out of the ring and down a cliff. He managed to survive unscathed... at least until he got hit by a car.
    • A groupie bitch kicks out her latest boyfriend (who was passed up for a record deal) in such a hurry that he leaves his pet boa constrictor behind. The snake nearly chokes the woman to death but she tosses it off at the last minute. Later, the snake crawls up her house's exhaust pipe and blocks the air flow when the woman turns on the heater, causing carbon monoxide to back up in her house and suffocate her.
    • "Lawn of the Dead": A group of stoners and cokeheads from the 1970s have a barbecue. One guy overuses lighter fluid on his barbecue, but doesn't burn to death. There's also a lot of drug abuse (cocaine, alcohol, and marijuana), a woman who drinks booze while pregnant, and a woman who sun bathes, despite the carcinogenic effects of the sun's UV rays, and still no one bites it. So, who dies in this segment? A guy playing lawn darts. He throws one in the air, and gets distracted by a woman flashing her breasts at him long enough not to notice that the dart he threw in the air came back down and pierced him through his skull.
    • "Tapped Out": Two men practice a backyard wrestling routine. Among other things, this includes staple guns, fluorescent lights, and weed whackers being used to inflict pain on the other. One might expect the second wrestler to die from having his chest sliced with a weed whacker. Turns out the man who tried to slice his partner with the weed whacker dies because he was beaten with fluorescent lights, which contain mercury vapor that entered the first man's body through his nose and through the staple wounds on his chest.
    • "Sign Offed": A sign spinner has a competition against a challenger for the love of a beautiful barista, and he goes off the curb, but avoids getting run over by a car. However, because he hit the pointed tip of his sign on the pavement one too many times, this left a jagged corner of corrugated plastic, slicing his jugular vein and killing him.
    • "Rebel Without A Pulse": A Civil War soldier is sentenced to die via firing squad for deserting his men. The soldier does drop dead, but not from being shot -- turns out he was so scared, he self-induced a heart attack.
    • "Contact Die": So the Alpha Bitch who seduced the nerd of the class didn't die due to breathing their experiment's gas (which is lethal in real life)? Said gas causes a reaction that fuses her contacts to her eyeballs, and she runs around in a panic until she slips and dies of a broken neck.
    • The teens playing Edward Fortyhands (a drinking game in which two forty-ounce bottles of malt liquor are taped to your hands and the only way out is to drink them both). You would expect them to die from alcohol poisoning or rupturing their bladders from all that drinking (going to the bathroom in this kind of drinking game is against the rules), right? Wrong! They died from suffocating from hydrogen cyanide caused by a cigar setting fire to their couch (which had a lot of synthetic material as stuffing. It was one of those couches that would be right at home in a 1960s/1970s-style basement rumpus room).
    • The mysophobic woman with obsessive-compulsive disorder falls off a ladder and hits a mirror. Miraculously, she didn't die from that. What she died from was pulling out a glass shard that was sticking from her armpit. The glass shard was keeping the blood from spilling out of her body.
    • The cocaine dealer-cum-addict from the 1970s. Given that he snorted a lot of coke and was dancing really fast at a disco, you'd expect him to just simply drop dead from heart failure, right? Wrong! This jive turkey tripped on his own platform shoes and got stabbed in the throat with the sharp end of his male symbol necklace.
    • "Smother In Law": It is heavily implied that the obese and abusive mother-in-law, who was ultimately crushed by a falling fridge, was about to be stabbed by her daughter-in-law (whom she slapped in the face).
    • "In Farm's Way": A pair of teen delinquents are doing work release on a farm. One nearly kills his buddy by throwing a pitchfork into a bale of hay, narrowly missing him. He then starts playing with a captive bolt pistol, thinking it is a milk pump for cows and almost shoots the farmer's daughter with it before using it on himself.
    • "Somewhere Over The Railing": A girl tries to prank her roommate into sitting on a chair with an unopened airbag hidden in it. The other girl is wise to her friend's ways and declines, resulting in the prankster being pushed into the chair herself and launched to the floor--from the top of a stairwell.
    • "Pimp My Death": A cheating husband is nearly beaten to a pulp by the pimp of the hooker he intended to have sex with but refused to pay. Said hooker ends up busting her head open on the bathroom sink during the tussle.
    • "Frost-Dead": A fraudulent cryopreserver (someone who preserves bodies cryogenically in the hope of thawing and revitalizing them) narrowly avoids being sprayed by liquid nitrogen, but still dies from breathing in the nitrogen gas.
    • "Down With The Clown": A children's party clown out to stop Infernal Clown Posse (played by the actual members of Real Life band Insane Clown Posse) from ruining the reputation of clowns everywhere crashes one of ICP's concerts and gets hit in the head with a bottle of soda. You'd think that would directly kill him, but no. The soda did contribute to his death (soda has sodium in it in the form of salt, which makes water conducive to electricity, as proven when the birthday party clown tries to unplug ICP's speakers, and gets electrocuted since he was still drenched in soda).
    • Shown in retrospect in "She-Manned": a female body-builder/fetish actress who likes to sexually humiliate wussy men nearly drowns in her bathtub after drinking a mixture of wine and painkillers. She could have drowned right there and then, but, instead, she dry-drowned while crushing a watermelon with her thighs for her best customer.
    • "Teri-Yucky" is a double one. A busboy at a Benihana-style Japanese restaurant takes his boss's locked-up knives after closing and imitates his techniques over a grill. He throws the knife up and miraculously doesn't get stabbed in the head or eye by it. Instead, the knife cuts the rope of a Buddha head decoration hanging above the grill, and more miraculously, the busboy doesn't die of head trauma from getting whacked by it. The busboy does get knocked out, but ends up doing a faceplant on the severely hot grill and gets his face and brains burned to a tempura crisp.
    • In the early seasons, the episodes would close out with a story about someone defying death rather than meeting it. Perhaps the only one to use genuine footage of the incident in question, it was about helicopter pilot Ben Moore's brush with fate when his tail rotor snapped while lugging a 7,000 pound air conditioner hundreds of feet above the ground.
      • This was repeated with snake handler David Weather's bite from a cobra; he's barely taken to a hospital in time to receive antivenin and stave off the affects of the bite. Like Ben Moore's case, they interview the actual survivor and show the footage of the snake biting him, which can also be seen here.
    • "Homie's Dead" may be the most triumphant example: a burglar breaks into a house and knocks the daylights out of one of the residents. His wife attempts CPR, but to no avail: he's dead and the show goes to the usual screen numbering the death and giving it a title...BUT, it turns out the husband has Lazurus syndrome and comes back to life. The man recovers in time to scare the living shit out of the burglar, who falls from the balcony while trying to make his escape and dies himself.
    • Penis De Milo: A man creates a statue to fill the void of his wife leaving him because of his art obsession. He then has sex with it and wakes up minutes later to find that his Raging Stiffie is stuck in the statue. Normally, in a case like this, the man would waste away days later from dehydration and starvation. That's not what happens; what happens is the man frees himself from being stuck in his work -- only to have his work crush him and suffocate him.
    • Die Jump: a manipulative, amateur actress auditions for a local sports commercial by performing a high jump. She nails it, but ends up missing the mat and falling on the hard ground. She gets up, allegedly fine -- in reality, her spinal cord was fractured, but not quite broken -- at least not until a track runner plows into her, knocking her down and finishing the job.
    • Death number 1000, "Premature Endings", featured several dumbasses dying a variety of crazy, violent deaths in a hospital, but they're actually not the focus of the story. The main focus: an elderly man in the hospital about to die of natural causes while in the company of his loving daughter.
    • In "Tunnel Vision," two cheesesteak vendors get into a war over customers, which culminates in the first vendor using a Molotov cocktail against his rival. As he throws it, the vendor gets his arm set on fire. Sounds like a typical "man burns to death" story, right? Not really. Much like in a "Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote" cartoon, the man runs screaming into a tunnel that's actually painted on a wall with some impressive and realistic 3D art. Unlike the Looney Tunes cartoons, the vendor dies from a skull fracture after hitting the painted wall.
    • In "Headless Warden," the sadistic warden of a women's prison confiscates a box of cupcakes meant for the other prisoners and eats a blue one that's laced with PCP. While the man does go crazy from its effects, he doesn't die of an overdose nor does he die from doing a dive off his desk (it does knock him unconscious). So, how does he die? The guards use a flash grenade to disorient him so they can capture him, but the grenade rolled too close to his head and blew it off.
    • In "Cop Out," a crooked cop sent to babysit some juvenile delinquents working community service by painting over grafitti inhales some paint thinner. Yes, the paint thinner could have done extensive brain damage on him, but that's not what happens. What happens is that the crooked cop flies into a thinner-induced rage and threatens to kill the delinquents (they, however, don't get killed), but drops his gun. Just as the cop picks it up, the gun goes off and splatters his brains all over the wall.
    • In "A Chainus Runs Through It" a conceited tattoo artist is targeted by an angry biker after the tattoo artist gives him Chinese symbols that translate to "douchebag." The tattoo artist survives getting punched in the face and is able to lose the angry biker in a chase. That doesn't stop a forklift from hooking onto his new piercing (a Teflon coated chain he swallowed, took out his rectum and attached back together) and the chain rips through his digestive tract killing him.
    • In "Cross Bown'd," a guy becomes paranoid after winning a mega-lottery. You think he would get so paranoid he kills himself (or someone around him, like the butler and the $1000-a-day hooker he hired), but he doesn't. Instead, he shoots an arrow through a self portrait and gets electrocuted when he grabs it after it hit an electrical wire.
    • In "Pulled Pork," a crooked farmer is extracting semen from a pig, but the pig's squeals wake up his neighbor. As the neighbor comes in, the guy tries to run, but he trips over the bucket and hits his head on a metal pole. Surprisingly, the impact of the fall didn't kill him. What did kill him was the pig eating the man's intestines as payback for getting jacked off.
    • In "Harmored Car," two newbie robbers attempt to rob an armored truck. Due to the mistakes they made, (taking to long to tie up the driver and robbing on a busy street) the get in a police fight. One man (Tyrone) tries to take down the police, while the other man (Eddie) cowardly hides in the back. Tyrone gets shot in the chest. This shot would kill a person, unless like Tyrone you were wearing a Kevlar bulletproof vest. When they open the truck, they see Eddie dead. Turns out right before Tyrone was shot, Eddie stuck his head out the back. When Tyrone was shot he flew backwards into the 300 pound door which slammed on Eddie's neck killing him instantly.
  • Based On Some Great Big Lies: Some of the deaths are pure Urban Legends.
  • Big No: "Tali-Bombed."

Abdul: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!

Habib: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BOOOOM!!!!

    • And Jake's co-worker in Jake N' Baked, when he opens the curing oven and realizes that he caused the other dude to be burned to death.
  • Bittersweet Ending: "Ichiboned": a Japanese couple, married seven years, have never slept together due to anxiety. One night, the husband brings home a bottle of plum wine; they split it, and that night finally make love... only to die from simultaneous heart attacks since their bodies weren't used to the effects of an orgasm. Even the narrator admits it's a better way to go than most of the alternatives, and is rated the #1 death.
    • "Premature Endings," at the other end of the list (#1000), also qualifies. After walking through an emergency room full of people who have suffered bizarre (and presumably fatal) injuries due to their own stupidity, a woman goes to her elderly father's hospital room to visit him one last time before he dies peacefully of natural causes. The narrator comments that the show is like an instruction manual: you can do something dumb and end up as one of its stories, or you can live a sensible life and just watch it.
    • "Radium Girls" had many workers die of radiation poisoning after their employer required them to ingest the radium paint they used. (They were painting glow-in-the-dark radium compounds onto watch hands and faces, a task which requires very fine-pointed brushes, and were advised by management to re-point the bristles with their lips when necessary.) This resulted in the "Radium Girls" lawsuit, which produced safer working conditions in watch-painting factories, but didn't do much to help those who had already succumbed to cancers of the face and jaw.
  • Black Comedy: Quite a few of the deaths in the series are amusing in a dark and twisted way. Also, the series narrator displays a rather wry sense of humor.
  • Bland-Name Product: Funny Eddie's target, "Infernal Clown Posse". Oddly enough, they're played by the real Insane Clown Posse, a strange case of a group's name being changed for legal reasons and yet the real deal showing up anyway. (The Faygo they throw around is likewise only called "soda pop".)
  • Blonde Republican Sex Kitten: The drunken bachelorette who broke her neck after a pigeon flew in her mouth. Said to normally be an abstemious Tea Party supporter (who planned on getting wasted on champagne and only champagne), but someone gave her absinthe and she went nuts.
  • Bloodier and Gorier: The deaths have become more graphic as the seasons go on.
  • Body Horror: Most of the deaths qualify.
  • Bridget Dropped A Bridge On Him: If you want to find a woman to rape, then the outside of a gym where boxers train is not a good idea. Your victim just might be a Crossdresser who goes off when someone calls him a 'lady'.
  • Boom! Headshot!: Cranial perforation is not uncommon. People have had their heads filtered out by everything from guns to water nozzels and, yes, even Frickin' Laser Beams in one instance.
  • Bottomless Magazines: The AK-47 in "Ji-Had It Coming", which the victim (a former American journalist who denounced her U.S. citizenship, converted to Islam, and married a Taliban leader in Afghanistan) fires for at least six seconds before one of the bullets ricochets into her head.
  • Bound & Gagged: In "Chucked Up" (the story of the housewife who puts on a kinky web show for her husband by tying herself up, only to have a burglar come in, rob her blind, and sicken her to death with his bad breath).
  • Brown Note: An iDoser (a drug dealer {of sorts} who uses special mp3s that can create hallucinogenic effects when listened) creates a low-frequency sound called "Satan's Jackhammer," which first makes him wet and soil his pants, then makes his cells pop and his organs suffer catastrophic failure.
    • A break dancer suffers a heart attack when her heartbeat is knocked out of sync by her extremely loud speakers.
  • California Doubling:
    • Most of the stories are set around Los Angeles or in the USA to make it easier to shoot, but the foreign-set stories stand out as being doubled.
    • The Russian soldiers in Chernobyl (in the story about the zoophilic Chernobyl soldier who died of blood loss after a raccoon bit off his penis) are wearing American military uniforms.
    • The ambulance sent to the French reptile owner who killed himself with black widow spider venom in a hare-brained attempt to be immune to it is an American Ford van.
    • And the Sicilian hills (in the story of the Italian man who unearths a shrapnel grenade and kills the two mafiosi who were planning to kill him for refusing to pay back a loan) are reminiscent of Kirk's Rock.
  • Chained to a Bed: Happened to a cross-dressing cokehead in the 1980s who ended up drowning when his stiletto heels punctured the waterbed mattress on which he was chained.
  • Cheaters Never Prosper: An amateur motocross racer, vindictive after having lost to her rival, tries to sabotage her by sticking a bolt into her bike's chain. It works all to well: the chain snaps off, only to hit the cheater in the neck and slice her throat.
  • Cheek Copy: Deconstructed in "X-Mess Carol": A drunk intern at an office party decides to photocopy her butt for her boss during a Christmas party as a gift to him. The glass breaks out from under her and electrocutes her to death.
  • Clip Show: The Deathies (an award show celebrating the series' most gruesome deaths so far).
  • Conspicuous CG: A meth addict blows off his jaw after dipping his gum in explosive powder. Also when a land mine goes off under three Viet Cong veterans, and when two con artists posing as preachers get blown up in a grain silo.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: The show's premise, particularly when dealing with deaths from bizarre medical conditions, like the Amish boy who went out drinking and died because he was born without an enzyme that processed alcohol, the pot farmer who smoked his own stash and ate a grasshopper (which triggered an allergic reaction he never knew he had), or any time someone drops dead from an allergic reaction that the victim never knew he had.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms:
    • "Killdo": A horny woman who uses a peeled carrot as a dildo and ends up dead when she cuts herself from the inside and an air bubble gets caught in her circulatory system.
    • "Unintented": A woman masturbating in a tent after ditching her boyfriend who couldn't satisfy her gets trapped in a freak windstorm and ends up dead when the tent slammed onto the roof of a shed.
    • "Heart On": The man who electrocuted himself after using a cow's heart hooked up to A WALL SOCKET as a sex toy.
    • "Die-brator": A Psycho Lesbian Straw Feminist who mistook a taser for a vibrator from her lover gets electrocuted when she turns it on. She received a package in the mail with the vibrator-esque taser and a note from her lover that said, "For when you need it most." She thought it was a sex toy, rather than for protection against a man.
  • Dead (Man Dressed Up As A) Baby Comedy: "Crib Your Enthusiasm" (in which an infantilist gets his spine and neck crushed by the drop gate of his crib [it should be noted that drop-gate cribs are now considered hideously illegal in the U.S. due to how many actual babies -- not adults who like to dress up like babies -- get injured from them]).
  • Deadpan Snarker: A dog, oddly enough, in "Doggie Style," and the announcer (Ron Perlman) most of the time.
  • Deadly Gas:
    • "Trailer Trashed": A newlywed man cleaning his newly purchased trailer dies from breathing in the deadly fumes created when the gallon of bleach he pours into the trailer's toilet mixes with the ammonia gas exuded by the waste left in the septic tank.
    • "Exhaustdead": A jerk planning to ambush his ex-girlfriend (who dumped him for being verbally abusive) and her date by shooting them with a paintball gun, left his engine running for a fast getaway. Unfortunately for him, he backed his car into a pile of trash bags that blocked the tailpipe and, with the windows rolled up, the car quickly filled up with carbon monoxide gas.
    • "Gasketballed": Two college kids play around inside a giant helium-filled basketball leftover from a pep rally...and forget where the zipper is to get out.
    • "Cult Evaded": A goth girl's religious fanatic foster parents and their cultist friends trying to exorcise her die from carbon monoxide fumes from the coal and incense they were burning in a closed tent while performing an exorcism ritual on her. The girl survives (because she had a layer of fresh air above her) and runs off to the mall.
    • "Tube Snaked": An underwear-clad groupie barely survives being strangled by her ex-boyfriend's pet boa, only to die from carbon monoxide poisoning when the snake clogs her house's exhaust pipe.
    • "Hat's All Folks!": A Mad Hatter who dies from breathing in the mercury used to felt the hats, causing mercury poison.
    • "Fecal Attraction": (see Drugs Are Bad below)
    • "Coffin to Death": A Japanese rock star gets trapped in a coffin by a guitarist who upstages him with a three-minute rock solo, causing him to choke to death on carbon dioxide from dry ice that was meant to be used for theatrics.
    • "Asphyxi-Asian": A Japanese game show contestant asphyxiates during a scuba diving contest when her oxygen tank got mixed up with an intake of truck exhaust.
    • "Chemi-Killed": A scorned lab assistant pitches a hissy fit and throws chemicals around the lab, including a flask of sodium azide. The flask explodes in a sink of water, turning the sodium azide into hydrogen azide, which burns her face and destroys her lungs.
    • "Rocky Roadkill": A drug dealer disguises his operation by running it out of an ice-cream truck, complete with freezer and decoy ice cream. All is well until one of his amphetamine-addict customers decides to rob him at gunpoint. The dealer jumps into the driver's seat and puts the pedal to the metal, successfully evading the guntoting tweaker-but the refrigerant tank in the freezer is ruptured during the escape. The van fills with freon, suffocating him and the man blacks out and hits a tree.
    • "The Depart-Dead": Two teens playing Edward Fortyhands (a drinking game in which two bottles of beer are taped to your hands and you can't free yourself unless you drink all the beer from both bottles) suffocate when one of them spits out a cigar on the couch, which burns the couch and releases hydrogen cyanide into the room.
  • Death by Gluttony:
    • "Gorgeous Gorge": A bulimic supermodel's stomach ruptures during her ritual of binging and purging in a hotel room.
    • Also a contributing factor to the death of the belching man in "Gut Busted," whose years of bad eating have left his stomach full of ulcers.
    • "Death of Sum Young Guy": A glutton eats at so many all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets and nearly chokes. Thankfully, somebody saved him with the Heimlich maneuver. However, shortly after, he dies of a massive heart attack caused by the high content of MSG built up in his body.
    • "Tenta-Killed": An old-fashioned Korean father, in an attempt to dissuade a Korean-American boy from dating his daughter, swallows a live octopus whole. (It Makes Sense in Context). The octopus's suction cups latch onto his throat, suffocating him.
    • "Scarf-Facd": A terrorist starved himself to escape his prison cell. When he meets up with his terrorist cell, he gorges himself on food, which is not a good idea after starving yourself for so long (The technical term is "refeeding syndrome").
  • Death by Sex:
    • "Ichiboned": (see Bittersweet Ending above)
    • "Lesbocution": A woman who just got dumped by her boyfriend decides to become a lesbian and celebrate by having sex with her female best friend. On the way home, the woman takes off her high heels and leans against a metal traffic light pole -- just as she steps into a puddle with a fallen electrical wire in it.
    • "Smoke-a-doped": A sex addict who put an entire pack of nicotine patches on her body to quit smoking after her boyfriend (who hates smokers) threatens to stop having sex with her.
    • "Vegged Out": A woman who uses a zucchini to practice fellatio -- and ends up getting it lodged in her throat after getting hit in the face by a hoe (the garden tool, not the other kind).
    • "Die-Agra": man dies of a Viagra overdose because his wife slipped some in his beer, his mistress slipped some in his water, and the man himself took some before he skipped out on his wife to see his mistress.
    • "Chucked Up": A woman acting out a bondage fantasy with her husband via a webcam, chokes on her own vomit due to her mouth being duct-taped shut and being sickened by a robber with halitosis.
    • "Sex Ray" is an odd example, as none of the participants having sex died, but an onlooker. The man was inside a hospital, having a brain scan taking using radiation. In a nearby room, a nurse and the doctor start having sex, accidentally hitting the power button for the radiation machine...
    • "Erecto-Phobia": A man dies after having sex with three girls while sporting wood that just wouldn't quit -- caused by a wandering spider whose venom causes erections in males before poisoning them.
    • "Domin-a-dead": A 32-year-old virgin on his first sexual experience with a dominatrix dies from a full-body allergic reaction from his latex gimp suit.
    • "Les-Boned": A bisexual, nymphomaniac home seller gets it on with a prospective buyer (who's a lesbian) in the laundry room, noticing a bit too late that there was a gas leak, and that gas leak resulting in an explosion when the hot water boiler went on.
    • "Hertz So Good": An exhibitionist couple (the male in the couple sporting a new Prince Albert) get it on on top of an old transformer. The Prince Albert the guy is sporting causes electricity to shoot through his member and electrocute him. The girl remains safe, since she was sitting on the transformer and not touching the ground, thus not completing a circuit.
    • "Em-bear-assed": (see Furry Fandom below)
    • Subverted in "Bed Buggered", where a nerd, who suffered the agony of being "sexiled" (read: kicked out of a dorm room or apartment by a roommate who needs a place to have sex with his partner) when his jock roommate landed some tail, finally got some of his own. While doing his girlfriend, the jock tried to hit on her. Unfortunately for the jock, the top bunk (where the nerd and his girlfriend were doing the nasty) falls on top of and crushes him.
    • "Ass-phyxiated": A weight-loss pill salesman with a fetish for fat women suffocates to death when his morbidly obese "client" passes out on top of him from an orgasm.
    • "Deadliest Munch": A lesbian chokes to death on her girlfriend's candy thong.
    • "Boris Bititoff": A drunken soldier attempts to have sex with a raccoon after he fails to score with a female soldier. It bites his penis off and he bleeds to death.
    • "Vom-Ate-Dead": A girl with a fetish for being puked on tries to pursue a boy that has just won a hot dog eating contest. She forces him to throw up by sticking her fingers down his throat, and accidentally gets a piece of unchewed hot dog lodged in her throat.
    • "Crappy Ending": A tourist gets stung to death by Asian giant hornets while visiting a "happy ending" parlor in Bangkok.
    • "A Trip To The Maul": A cheating husband goes blind from vasocongestion after having sex with his mistress. He wanders around in confusion and literally walks right into a brown bear. The bear mauls him to pieces.
  • Delayed Reaction:
    • A Nazi was shot in the head during World War II. Miraculously, he survived, but the bullet was stuck in his head and located near a major artery. Fifty years later, the former Nazi (now living in New York City) accidentally bumps his head while getting milk from his refrigerator. The bullet finally hits its target and the Kraut goes kaput.
    • A psychopath is subjected to electro-shock therapy to cure his psychosis. The full effects of the shocks doesn't hit him until he tries to escape, at which point the arrythmia from the shocks causes him to have a heart attack.
  • Depraved Bisexual: The boss in #118, "Blown-Job", who gives a promotion to a man over his secretary on the grounds that the man was more willing to give him oral sex.
  • Disproportionate Retribution:
    • Yes, many of the people portrayed on the show were idiots and/or assholes, but in some of their cases the horrible way they died was probably far in excess of what they deserved to have happen to them.
    • Another good example was the nature lover who got hit by a car and decapitated while trying to resuscitate a raccoon that she ran over. Yeah, she was a little nutty and maybe giving CPR to a dead animal isn't necessary or wise, but there was no one on the road when she came to the dead critter on the road, so the driver had all the time in the world to stop or swerve.
    • And the Amish boy on Rumspringa (a time for Amish teens to go out and live like "normal" teens {i.e., drink, smoke, have premarital sex, drive cars, experience modern technology, wear colorful clothes, etc} before buckling down for a life of work) who died of drinking alcohol because his body was genetically incapable of doing so. He just wanted to have fun (considering the sheltered culture he lived in), it wasn't like he was a jerk when he drank, and the Amish don't really believe in modern medicine, so how was the boy supposed to know he had that problem?
    • A stewardess is sucked out of an airplane while she was still alive, freezing to death on her way down. Sure, she may have been a bit cranky and indifferent toward her passengers (as it was her last flight before she retired), but still, that's just awful.
    • There was a man who got shot in the chest -- by a bullet that was fired directly into the air by some more rowdy New Year's celebrators.
    • And the belly dancer who accidentally hanged herself when she tossed her scarf in the air while practicing for an upcoming contest. She did nothing wrong (except leave the ceiling fan on while she was practicing) and actually put herself through veterinarian school with her talent by dancing at Middle Eastern restaurants and nightclubs. At least she died doing what she loved...
    • The Christian boy who died when a meteorite shot through his chest (even though there is no record of anyone ever dying of a meteorite hitting them). Sure, he was a bit awkward, and attempting to push his religion at a drunken frat party wasn't the best way to make friends, but he seemed like a genuinely decent kid who was just trying to socialize.
    • The obnoxious girl who died from Irukandji syndrome (one of the most painful ways to die) after swallowing a jellyfish. She was only that way because she had a friendless childhood and she spent the last minutes of her life feeling her throat swell up, all the while getting painfully stung to death from the inside, with no one to help her because they thought she was faking it.
    • The girl who dies after her breast implants explode from high-altitude air pressure on a plane. Her only crime was getting cheap implants from a Back-Alley Doctor, as a result of her wanting bigger assets.
      • Same deal with the woman who got phony butt implants so she can get with a rapper and suffered an embolism from the bathroom caulk going through her body. The only thing she did wrong was not go to a legitimate plastic surgeon.
    • The secretary from "Blown Job" (#118). She refuses to give her boss a blowjob and receive a promotion in return, and drowns her sorrows in energy drinks. When she finds out that her boss gave the promotion to a male employee who was willing to go down, she confronts him about it...and suffers a heart attack from so much caffeine.
  • Distracted by the Sexy:
    • "M-R-Ouch!": A subversion, then played straight in a highly unusual death. An armed drug addict breaks into the hospital looking for drugs, and he holds up the night-shift nurse. She gives him the drugs, but the drug addict holds her up even more. The nurse calms the addict down and then distracts him by stripping down to her bra, panties and stockings, while at the same time leading to the MRI room. She turns on the MRI, and the gun flies to the MRI machine. But then the addict starts to tremor, then starts flying head-first into the MRI machine, killing him. The addict had a metal plate screwed onto his skull beforehand.
    • "D-Parted": A flirtatious and recently divorced Femme Fatale tried to seduce a group of construction workers, one of which is so taken by the woman that he loses control of a concrete saw and ends up slashing the woman in half.
    • "Re-Tired": The man who ended up with a face full of shrapnel from overinflating a tire -- all because he was too busy looking at a porno magazine.
    • "Pornicated": Another porn addict who didn't realize his wife had left him and ended up dead from dehydration while trying to find his way out of the attic in which he holed himself.
    • "Sex Ray": The man who got his brain fried while watching his doctor have sex with a nurse (whose rear end kept hitting the X-ray button).
    • "Lawn of the Dead": The man whose dart which he accidentally threw into the air, as his female companion flashed her breasts, lands in his skull and through the bridge of his nose.
  • Does Not Like Men: The Psycho Lesbian who sticks a taser in her vagina thinking it was a vibrator from her girlfriend.
  • Dogged Nice Guy: The Orthodox Jew who tried to get a hula dancer to like him in "Poi Vey."
  • The Dog Bites Back: In a Chinese jewelry factory, the workers are abused so badly by the Bad Boss that they give him a poisoned "grill" that kills him by halting his protein production.
  • Dog Walks You: An unemployed woman who reluctantly takes a dog-walking job gets pulled by a pack of dogs and gets fatally nailed in the head when she slams into a tree.
  • Don't Try This At Home: ...You Will Die! Naturally, part of the disclaimer at the beginning of the show. And as if that's not enough to hammer the point home, they also flash an "Idiot Alert" when someone on screen does something so dangerous and idiotic that imitating their actions will not only get you killed, but you will deserve it for being so stupid.
  • Drinking on Duty:
    • The steamroller operator who gets drunk on the job. He forgets to set the roller's brake when climbing down to go use a nearby port-a-potty. Need I tell you what happens next?
    • A dump truck driver shows up for work hungover and accidentally buries a co-worker in sand while said co-worker was digging a ditch.
  • Driven to Suicide: A lackluster Japanese rockstar (from the same band as the one featured in "Coffin To Death," which featured his band mate getting suffocated inside a coffin that contained dry ice) commits Seppuku after realizing how much of a failure he is.
  • Drugs Are Bad:
    • "Tone Death": An audio programmer creates a type of drug using subsonic frequencies, the listening of which through stereo speakers could produce highs similar to LSD. While creating a new batch using military-grade hardware, though, the powerful subsonic frequencies liquefied his organs.
    • "Curl Up And Die": a hairstylist makes a habit of seducing his female clientele with alcohol and quaaludes, a drug that was legal until the 80's. At the end of the day, he was so hopped up on ludes and booze that he passed out on his curling iron, burning his trachea to a crisp.
    • "Guns 'n' Noses": An African warlord is addicted to "Brown Brown": cocaine mixed with nitroglycerine-containing gunpowder. He snorts lines of Brown Brown off a surface he had previously placed diamonds on, mixing the drug with microscopic diamond filaments that shred their way throughout his circulatory system.
    • "Fecal Attraction": A rock star that runs out of drugs gets a tip from his bandmate on making Jenkem, a hallucinogenic drug created from fermented human sewage. After running out of the "main ingredient" to make Jenkem, he resorts to sniffing waste from a port-a-potty and dies from the high amount of methane.
    • "Therm-Assed": A girl forced to go to a religious retreat spikes dinner with ecstasy. While everyone is high on the drug, she chokes a bit on some soot from a campfire and reaches for a thermos to wash it out. The problem? The thermos had boiling-hot water in it, which inflames her epiglottis and chokes her.
    • "Dead on Arrival": A drug smuggler tries to sneak LSD through an airport by soaking his shirt in it and wearing it. His perspiration causes the LSD to be absorbed into his system, enough to cook his brain.
    • "Succu-Offed": (See Eye Scream below.)
    • "Apocalypse Harley": A Charlie Sheen-esque TV actor targeted by a mercenary who looks like Marlon Brando gets hopped up on coke and tiger blood. Hilariously winning death ensues.
  • Drunk Driver: In "D.U. Die", a drunken motorist suffering from a bought of car-sickness sticks his head out the window to puke...and is decapitated by a mailbox, to the horror of his equally drunken passenger.
  • Elegant Classical Musician: A case features a beautiful and talented violinist who doubles as The Klutz. She dies when she falls down her house's stairs and hits her head on the wall for not using her hands to block her fall.
  • Ejection Seat: A deadbeat dad purchases one as furniture for he and his fat loser friend's new guy pad. Unbeknownst to him, the seat still had a live ejector rocket in it and when he pulled the ejection handle, he was sent flying through the roof and his skull was crushed.
  • Epic Fail: Special mention goes to the terrorists who blew themselves up.
  • Epileptic Flashing Lights: A stripper who likes to pickpocket her customers has a grand mal seizure (though she dies when she bites her tongue off and chokes on it) while cage-dancing in "Leave It To Seizure" thanks to strobe lights flashing above her.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: In "Vat's All Folks," two ex-cons are hired to help a crooked cemetery boss get rid of some bodies and resell the burial plots. Once they realize the bodies would be dissolved in hydrofluoric acid, the ex-cons refuse to go along with the plan and leave.
    • In "S**t-Canned", a waiter at a wedding party is bribed by a Crazy Jealous Guy into slipping laxatives in the bride's drink as revenge for her not marrying him. The waiter accepts the money, but puts the laxatives in the jealous guy's drink instead after having a pang of conscience.
  • Everyone Hates Mimes: As demonstrated in the segment "Dead Mime ☺", in which the only time people paid attention to him was in his final hours as he was gagging on a pickle he had for lunch.
  • Everything's Worse with Bears: Played straight in "Em-Bear-Assed" (a man tripping out on psychedelic mushrooms crashes a furry orgy, mistakes a real bear cub for a costumed human and gets mauled by the Mama Bear), "Tree Mugger" (a loopy nature lover protesting against a tree being set up to be cut down watches in horror as a grizzly slashes him open while the man is chained to the tree), and "A Trip To The Maul" (another bear mauling death; this time, it's a man who is camping out in the woods so he can cheat on his wife and went blind from vasocongestion [temporary or permanent sight loss from having sex]).
  • Evil Poacher: Mr Chao, who walks through parks looking for animals to capture and smuggle, dies when an eagle drops a tortoise onto his skull, similar to the legend of the death of Aeschylus.
  • Explosive Decompression:
    • Although the writers confused this trope with a fatal case of the bends, "Tanked Girl" is an example. That episode's death might have been based on the Byford-Dolphin Diving Bell Incident, even though the actual circumstances were absolutely nothing like what we see on the show (and was changed for budgetary reasons)
    • "Steward-Death" is based on the 1988 Aloha Flight 243 incident.
  • Explosive Leash: A bank robber rigs tries to use one on himself. It doesn't end well.
  • Explosive Stupidity: When it comes to handling explosive devices and/or volatile substances, there's very little margin for error. Being careless while doing so is a surefire way to lose your life.
  • Expy: The following are "alternate universe" stories showing jerkass celebrities based on real celebrities who (so far) haven't gotten any karmic retribution for the heinous acts they've committed.
    • In "Bad Max" (#873), Max represents Mel Gibson (this alternate death, however, was justified, as a six-year-old girl was really the victim of having her intestines sucked out through her anus while in a Jacuzzi. Even the narrator stated that the death did happen in real life, but the victim was not the Mel Gibson expy named Max)
    • In "Apocalypse Harley" (#445), Harley represents Charlie Sheen.
    • On the other hand Hiro Tanaka, the dude that "Pukey" Suki tried to get to puke on her (with fatal results) is an obvious expy of Big Eater Takeru Kobayashi. In this case, though, she is the one who dies.
    • In "Jersey Gore" (#523), Nicky "The Predicament" is an obvious spoof of Michael Sorrentino.
  • Eye Scream:
    • "Dead Eye": An arrogant gym teacher throws a javelin and ends up getting it through his eye.
    • "Vermin-ated": A fugitive stuck in a pipe whose eye is eaten alive by rats.
    • "Succu-Offed": Two stones stole a Saguaro cactus and celebrate with peyote in the desert. They later get a shared hallucination where the Saguaro tells them they will be punished for their crime. They run screaming as one stoner falls on an Agave plant and is pierced through the heart while the other stoner runs into another Saguaro cactus and gets speared in the eye.
    • "Samurai Death Squad": A Japanese-American street racer gets a lance through his eye.
    • "Contact Die": A chemistry student determined to screw her way to an easy grade by seducing the class genius has her contacts fused to her eyeballs after performing an experiment without wearing goggles. She then spends the last few minutes of her life running around in blind panic (pardon the pun) before slipping on a wax floor and breaking her neck.
    • "Scam Eye Am (Dead)": A Nigerian scam artist gets found out and hides behind a door with a coat hook on it. Enter the angry scam victim, who shoves open the door and accidentally(?) impales the man through the eye.
    • "Eye-Sick-Kill": A lecherous stoner mall Santa who got fired for sexually harassing his female elf workers gets an icicle to the eye.
    • "Exploding Bowling Ball": Four drunk hipsters film themselves dropping things off a bridge with a high-speed camera. Works well enough until the bowling ball shatters, and a shard of the ball goes through the cameraman's eye into his brain, piercing the medulla oblongata and terminating organ control.
    • "Photo-Dead-Ick": An anorexic, cocaine-addicted model passes out during a photo shoot from not eating and wearing latex Body Paint (which kept her from sweating). As she falls, the model impales herself through the eye on a lighting post.


F-J

  • Face Death with Dignity: A rarity for this show, but not unheard of.
  • Failed a Spot Check: The criminal from "Greased Is The Word," who was planning to rob a jewelry store and failed to notice he went through the wrong door... the door to a gun shop.
  • Fan Service:
    • Every episode manages to get at least one woman in her underwear, a bikini, or some other skimpy clothing. Justified that this show airs on Spike TV, so Fan Service like this is pretty par for the course.
    • Lampshaded in "Pipe Snaked" (the story of the bitchy groupie who threw out her wannabe rocker boyfriend, almost got strangled by his pet boa constrictor, then suffocated in her home from carbon monoxide poisoning after the boa took shelter in the exhaust) when the narrator points out that the groupie seemed to live in her underwear.
  • Fan Disservice: If pretty girls appear... they're likely to die. Just ask:
    • The sexy scuba diver who escaped dying from the bends -- and ends up dead in her decompression chamber after a maintenance man accidentally turned off the pressure gauge.
    • The immature girl on vacation in Australia who was stung in the throat by a miniature jellyfish and lay there sputtering and dying on the beach with no one to help her because they think she's faking it to get attention.
    • The lesbian who choked on her lover's candy thong.
    • The lesbian couple who accidentally blew up the laundry room (and themselves) while having sex on the dryer.
    • The body-painted anorexic model who passed out from not eating and impaled herself on a set light.
    • The thieving stripper who went into an epileptic seizure and swallowed her own tongue during her cage dance.
    • The gold-digger who was crushed by the bags of money she kept from her rich, old geezer husband during a small earthquake.
    • The wannabe stripper whose phony Gag Boobs (which were little more than water balloons with dissolved oxygen inside of them) exploded while she was on an airplane.
    • The five strippers posing as college cheerleaders who all electrocuted themselves on a frayed wire while washing a Dirty Old Man's van.
  • Farts on Fire:
    • "Work of Fart": A college student training for a fraternity farting contest accidentally sets his coach on fire by letting one rip near an open flame.
    • "Gass Hole": A proctologist using a cauterizer (a device that uses heat to seal or open wounds without drawing blood) has his lungs burned when the patient accidentally lets one out.
  • Fat Bastard:
    • One fat man dies from his ulcerous stomach ripping open after his girlfriend tried to alleviate the pain by punching him in the stomach, and another has a heart attack caused by the MSG in ten(!) plates of Chinese food.
    • One tries to stop being a Fat Bastard by way of a do-it-yourself liposuction. It didn't work.
    • The food critic who died when he swallowed a plastic toothpick from a martini, which lodges itself in his stomach lining was both fat and a complete bastard (especially since his scathing reviews led to many restaurants shutting down).
    • The phony Gulf War veteran was fat, a bastard for tricking people into thinking he was hurt in combat, and died of a poor diet, no exercise, and having maggots eat at his infected bedsores.
  • Fat Girl: Darlene from Die It. She's so desperate to stop being this that she orders tapeworm larvae and swallows them so they'll eat up anything she eats. But since the tapeworm breed and spread inside of her, two months Darlene loses both 27 kgs...and her own life.
  • Fingore: In "Bot-ily Harm", a teenaged genius who used his robotic inventions to annoy his mom makes a robot with motion sensors from his Mom's Roomba. His bladed robot started up when the boy dropped a screw and picked it up. The robot went into attack mode and sliced off his fingers, cut his leg, and eventually went for his stomach.
    • Don't forget the prospect Russian mobster who gets his fingertips burned with acid by his fellow Mafia members in USSR-Dead. (As for the death itself, see Gargle Blaster)
    • The Yakuza leader who cuts the finger off an incompetent karaoke singer, then swallows it whole (only for him to choke on it, and die when his bodyguard improperly gives him the Heimlich maneuver)
  • Flatline: Used in a few deaths whenever the victim is in a hospital bed, such as the one about the Russian spy who was poisoned with a polonium isotope as punishment for defecting or the showgirl who suffered from the flesh-eating virus after cutting herself with a rusty razor.
  • Foregone Conclusion: The opening makes it quite clear: people are gonna get snuffed.
  • Frickin' Laser Beams: One death involves a CIA operative melting a terrorist's brain with an experimental laser rifle.
    • Another features a sociopathic nerd with a homemade death ray built from a parabolic dish and tin foil that focused the sun's heat into a laser. After frying various insects, he tries to cook a can of beans with his death ray. It explodes, knocking him unconcious, his head landing in the path of the laser which proceeded to cook his brains.
  • Furry Fandom:
    • A guy gets high on psychedelic mushrooms and stumbles into a furry orgy in the middle of the Mojave desert. While trying to participate, he gets turned down by the costumed humans and instead mistakes a bear cub for a willing partner. The cub's mother doesn't appreciate it. During the segment, the concept of a furry is explained by some loser in a piss-poor fursuit.
    • Then there was the deranged man who was so traumatized from his cow-costume-wearing uncle's abusive behavior that he has picked up the habit of drinking milk straight from a cow's udder. He ends up getting kicked in the head.
  • Gag Boobs:
    • A temp worker who decides to become a stripper after realizing she'll never be an actress gets a sub-par boob job from a hack plastic surgeon and boards a plane... It's not pretty.
    • Then there's the story of another stripper who huge implants who uses alcohol and Oxycontin (which shouldn't be mixed together in the first place) to alleviate her back pain. She died when her jugs fell over her face and suffocated her (made worse by the fact that she was so wasted on booze and Oxycontin that she couldn't react to it).
  • Gargle Blaster: "USSR-Dead": A Ukrainian immigrant joining the Russian Mafia accidentally drinks sulfuric acid (the same acid that was used to burn his fingerprints so no one could link him to any crimes) while celebrating his initiation.
  • Gasshole:
    • The belching man in "Gut Busted," due to his stomach breaking down.
    • And the actual name of one death where a fugitive on the run drinks gasoline since he's miles from a liquor store/bar and doesn't want to get caught by authorities.
    • Also the name of the story where a surgeon with a butt fetish operates on a stripper who ate a chili dog prior to her rectal operation (because the doctor failed to tell her that rectal operation patients can't eat anything 12 hours prior to said operation) and whose fart sets fire to his cauterizer, which burns his lungs completely.
    • The narrator dubs the two guys who tried to suck gasoline out of a car with an industrial vaccuum as two examples of this.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: One of the theatergoers in "i-Boned" (a man in a trenchcoat who first confronts the woman on her cell phone) is implied to be an onanist.
  • Go Out with a Smile:
    • "Ass Phyxiated" (the one about the chubby-chasing weight loss salesman who dies after having sex with a fat woman),
    • "Ichiboned" (the one about the Japanese couple who die after having simultaneous orgasms/heart attacks),
    • "Coming & Going" (the one about the woman who got off while riding her boyfriend's motorcycle -- and ended up tumbling onto the road),
    • "Die-Agra" (in which a man has an overdose on Viagra and dies during an orgasm),
    • "Erecto-Phobia" (a man dies from a heart attack during sex due to the venom of a wandering spider that bit him earlier),
    • and so forth.
  • Gorn: When it's described what happened. Seems to be getting gorier each season. A preview for the 2010 season has a fat man's guts sucked out with an industrial vacuum, two piercing addicts who get decapitated while leaning out their car windows and kissing each other, and a Granola Girl who gets hit by a car while trying to resuscitate a dead raccoon.
  • Gory Discretion Shot: The reenactments for the most part, although...
  • Gory Indiscretion Shot: ...seems to be more common, and we now see actual decapitations, eviscerations, and so forth.
    • Boobs exploding?!
  • Gosh Hornet:
    • A man shoots a hornet's nest with a paintball gun to impress his trailer trash wife, and gets stung multiple times by the enraged swarm of insects. The fact that he was allergic to hornet stings (and never knew it) was also a contributing factor in his death.
    • "Crappy Ending", A man visiting a Thailand massage parlor gets attacked by a hive of Asian Giant Hornets that were living in the parlor's wall.
  • Granola Girl: The victim from "Road Killed", a hippie chick named Sally aka Morning Glory, who runs over a raccoon going while driving to a hemp convention and tries to use CPR on it. Tilting her head up to cough, she has her head ripped off by the bumper of an incoming vehicle.
  • Groin Attack:
    • The zoophilic Russian soldier who tries to rape a raccoon after cockblocked by a fellow soldier. The raccoon bit off the private's privates.
    • The guy who whizzed on the electric fence--with obvious (and unlikely) consequences.
    • The heretic priest who got his groin split in two on his own invention during the Spanish Inquisition as punishment for building the device in the first place, though this is more Karmic Death...he DID build the device, but he was accused of being a heretic and thus was the first victim...HoistByHisOwnPetard.
    • To add on to this list, the Portuguese man treating Brazilians like slaves and forcing them to pan for gold. While swimming in the Amazon River, he stops to urinate, and gets a candiru fish to lodge into his urethra. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, he rips the still lodged candiru out (and therefore, the inside of his penis), spilling out blood which attracts a school of piranha that eat him alive.
    • "Hertz So Good": A man with a "Prince Albert" penis piercing dies from being shocked by an old electrical transformer. The episode has a shot of him lying on the ground, smoke curling around his crotch.
    • The bitter gymnast who dismounted off a trampoline -- and lands on top of one of the supports for the parallel bars. The force was enough to rip her rectum and vaginal opening and cause fatal damage. Doubles as Impaled with Extreme Prejudice.
    • The abusive football coach who died of sepsis after the star kicker of his team kicks him in the crotch -- with cleats that have lead insets in them (the force of which sent a bone fragment into his kidneys). Usually, when men get kicked in the groin, they wish they were dead. In this case, there was no wishing.
  • Half the Man He Used To Be:
    • "Semi-cide": A man working under his truck is run over and cut in half by another truck driver who didn't see him.
    • "Forked Up": A pothead who went on a joyride got bisected on some rope tied to his waist.
    • "D-Parted": (see Distracted by the Sexy above)
    • "Half-Offed": A Jerkass businessman cuts the line for a taxi, only to get cut in half by a steel cable from a passing truck that gets caught in the taxi's trunk lid.
    • "Ex'D Ex": A jealous ex tries to wreck his ex-girlfriend's date, only for him to get run over by a tractor.
  • Have a Nice Death: The show can be called a tribute to the trope.
  • Henpecked Husband: The wife of one of these gets killed in a lawn mower accident.

Husband: "There is a God."

  • Hey, It's That Guy!: Pat the NES Punk appears on the show as an "Internet Historian" and a "Video Game Historian".
  • Hey, It's That Voice!: Ron Perlman is the narrator.
  • High-Pressure Blood:
    • If a blood vessel is severed, there's a good chance it's going to spray blood like a fountain. If it's the jugular vein or carotid artery, this is a certainty.
    • Justified in the story of the coke dealer from the 1970s who died when he tripped on his platforms and got stabbed in the jugular with his male symbol (the male symbol is the one with the spearhead, for those who don't know) necklace. He bled faster than normal because the cocaine and high-energy disco dancing made his heart beat faster.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard:
    • A pair of dimwitted terrorists were blown up by their own bomb when they forgot about daylight savings time while setting the device's GPS-based timer.
    • And the one about the abusive boyfriend who tried to kill his girlfriend by shoving her off a cliff after taking her picture. He didn't count on the girlfriend shoving him over in self-defense.
    • Let's not forget the Spanish donkey's inventor, a fifteenth-century priest who was the first victim of his own device during the Spanish Inquistion.
    • How about the one where a cheating cock fighter wins after attaching razor blades to his rooster's feet ... only to have the rooster turn on him and slice open his jugular vein with said blades?
    • A robot builder makes an attack robot with motion sensors, which sees him and slices him up.
    • A ruthless Laotian druglord sets up barbwire as a security measure. When a pair of thieves show up in the field, the druglord, known for decapitating trespassers, takes to his ATV armed with his machete. As he's closing in on the two thieves, the druglord drives right into his own barbwire trap, which winds up decapitating him.
    • The story of Perillos of Athens, the inventor of the "brazen bull". He created it for King Phalarus in order to secure himself a comfortable living. Instead, he winds up becoming the brazen bull's first victim.
    • "Dog Dead Afternoon", a dogfighter named Vick tries to steal a pitbull named Michael, only to have a security guard show up during the job. So he tries to wait the guy out, instead of just leaving when the guard falls asleep. The guard comes over to close the door to the dog pen and sees Vick. The guard falls in front of the cage door and then Michael wakes up, mauling Vick to death.
    • "Less is Mormon": The leader of a cult of polygamists triggers a trap set up to keep wives in and intruders out while chasing a runaway bride; a spring-loaded board that shoots up and punctures his lungs and heart.
    • "Sun Burnt" features a sociopathic nerd making a death ray that used a parabolic dish and tin foil to reflect solar heat into a laser. His attempt to cook a can of beans ended with his head getting a shiny new hole in it, thanks to his laser.
  • Hollywood History:
    • The Inquisition example is pure fiction, though it was probably inspired by the death of Perillos of Athens.
    • The story of Perillos was eventually shown as a segment titled "My Big Fat Greek Death."
  • Honey Trap: The victim in "Sneeze-bag" is beautiful woman who works as a spy for a political party, drugging up her bosses's biggest rival and then calls the presses to ruin his reputation. It turns out she has the ACHOO syndrome, which is triggered by the camera flashes... and causes her to sneeze uncontrollably, leading to her death from burst blood vessels.
  • Horny Vikings: "Vike-O-Done" and "Blood Eagle"
  • Human Sushi: A lech at his bachelor party tries to rape a stripper who was used as a human sushi bar. He died when the toilet's flush mechanism blew up and shot his rectum filled with jagged porcelain.
  • Humiliation Conga: "Blown Job" in which a female employee refuses to give her boss, Mr. Elliott, (who is sexist and bisexual; to the latter of which she was oblivious) a blow job to get the promotion she's aiming for (despite tolerating his other acts of sexual harassment), and decides to fill up on tons of energy drinks to take her mind off the dirty thought. A recently-hired employee tries to get the promotion, by doing the same thing, and succeeds, much to her anger, fueled by her energy drinks, which have caffeine in them. She confronts Mr. Elliott and screams at him for being a sexist scumbag -- until she dies of cardiac arrest from the excess caffeine.
  • Hurricane of Puns: A lot of the titles of the deaths, most of which try to work the word "dead" or "death" in it (some of which are better than others).
  • I Ate What?:
    • The couple who ate live snails and ended up dying from parasites that fed off their brain matter (with the man telling the woman that he was gay just before they both died, to which she replied she hated him), the scam artist male nurse who ingested denture whitening tablets (which he mistook for breath mints after kissing an old lady with bad breath), and the nervous executive who ate dirt and died from E. coli since the dirt had her hippie neighbor's excrement in it (yes, the woman ate shit and died.)
    • An idiot gets the bright idea to try and survive in the woods after watching a wilderness survival program on TV. He tries to eat a mixed salad of wild vegetation he found in the woods, containing a deadly trio of oleander (which played havoc on his heart), foxglove (which made him retch violently), and hemlock (which scrambles your brain).
    • A rich couple end up dying from some spoiled food. They should've known better than to hire Typhoid Mary as their chef.
    • In a case of "I Drank What", a Depression-era couple from West Virginia try to get in on the liquor business (as Prohibition made bootlegging alcohol a booming business) by making their own to sell to city folk. While sampling the "four-shot" (the preliminary batch), they ingest methanol, which causes them to go blind, then shuts down their organs.
    • Another one from the "I Drank What?" file: A guy and his girlfriend who steal luggage from airport terminals find a bottle of what he thinks is expensive rum. It turns out to be liquid cocaine (a concentrated mixture of cocaine and kerosene) that a drug smuggler was sneaking into the country. He drank a massive overdose of the drug and died.
    • Also from the "I Drank What?" file: A Ukrainian immigrant and his cohorts drink vodka to celebrate his initiation into the Russian mob. Only, it's not vodka they're drinking---it's the sulfuric acid he used to erase his fingerprints, courtesy of the senile bartender who got the two clear liquids confused. (To be fair, the two bottles looked exactly the same.)
    • The taxidermist who ate squirrel meal -- from a squirrel that was infected with rabies.
    • The marijuana farmer who ate a grasshopper -- and died from an allergic reaction to the insect's exoskeleton.
  • I Just Shot Marvin in the Face:
    • "Abracadaver": A magician and his lovely assistant fail to do the "catch a bullet in your teeth" act.
    • "Written Offed": A Jerkass banker uses a pen gun while trying to foreclose on a military antique store dealer for not paying his mortgage.
    • "Smoked": A teen smoker puts three cigarettes in a shotgun shell, loads it in a shotgun, and shoots his friend in the face to teach his friend a lesson in bumming cigarettes and not paying him back.
    • "Dead-dy Dearest": An Overprotective Dad scares his daughter's boyfriend by firing a blank revolver, then attempts to shoot himself in the head to prove that the gun doesn't have real bullets in it. The guy died from the pressure of the blast traveling down the barrel of the revolver and cracking him in the temple.
    • "Cop Out": A bad cop huffs paint thinner and starts waving his pistol around at some community-service workers. He drops the pistol, but picks it up by the trigger, and shoots himself in the head.
  • If It's You It's Okay: In "Oz Holed":

Conrad: I'd do Ozzy, but not, like, in a gay way. You know, it's just like...

Taylor: I would do him in a gay way.

Conrad: Yeah! That's cool.

  • I Love Nuclear Power: A pair of Yemen terrorists try to construct a nuclear weapon by using tungsten rods to focus radiation from a plutonium core. One of the terrorists, however, accidentally touches one of the rods with the core, causing a massive burst of radiation to be unleashed, destroying their immune systems and killing them only a few days later. This is based on the "Demon Core" experiment that killed scientists in 1945 and 1946.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: "Reef Stew," where a Fijian tribe forced into vegetarianism because of a typhoon end up cannibalizing two drug smugglers who happened to wash up onshore.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice:
    • "Bull-Heavia": A Middle Eastern dictator with a secret obsession with America -- despite filming threats against the country -- gets jabbed in the heart with a miniature version of the Washington Monument after flying off his malfunctioning mechanical bull.
    • "This Just In... My Chest": A blowhard news reporter gets an uprooted mailbox in the chest while reporting on a hurricane.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: Generally the names of just about all of the deaths. Occasionally, some of the commentary leading up to the deaths.
  • Insult to Rocks: During the "Ball 'N Pain" story, the narrator states that "To compare these two to hamsters would be an insult to the entire rodent community." Indeed it would be.
  • I Was Beaten by a Girl: Happens to a gamer who played a video game tournament for 60 hours straight. When he stood up to throw a fit, the clots in his legs from sitting on his ass for almost three days rush to his lungs and kills him.


K-O

  • Karma Houdini:
    • The robber in "Chucked Up": a naughty-minded housewife ties herself up for her webcam watching husband. A masked thief breaks in, robs the woman blind, then gets in her face and thanks her for making the job easy. The woman dies of drowning on her own vomit (since the thief's breath was so bad, it caused her to puke and she couldn't do it with duct tape around her mouth). As for the thief, well...he just gets away.
    • The landlord from Blend-Dead who knowingly sprayed rat poison all over his tenant's vegetable garden, and didn't warn the health nut woman who died that her garden was contaminated. "Depraved-Heart Murder," much?
    • The quack doctor from "Caulk Blocked". True, the songwriter who wanted to get the attention of a rapper she had a crush on probably shouldn't have hired an amateur to give her butt some added mass, but there was no mention of the doctor's fate, so he may have gotten away with malpractice.
    • The sushi school students who shoved an eel up their teacher's butt to get revenge on the humiliation they suffered in his class. Whether or not the teacher deserved the death might be debatable (he was a jerk, sure, but culinary school chefs -- especially traditional Japanese ones -- have to be strict on their students), but that doesn't excuse the fact that the two students who did this to the chef got away with it.
    • Subverted with the story of the three huffers who accidentally set one of their friends on fire after getting solvent on him and handing him a lighter. Even though they ran off, the narrator says that the two who ran off were later arrested and tried for manslaughter.
    • The mob-connected grandfather from "Freeze Died", the Haitian brother from "De-Coffinated", and the Russian spies in "Radioactivate-dead" could fall into this. It's worth noting that these three are about the only deaths in the series involving premeditated homicides that didn't backfire.
    • Subverted again in "Homie's Dead/Homie Invasion": While the story does seem to end in a similar manner that the "Chucked Up" story did, the narrator points out that the man who got hit in the head during the robbery came back to life [4] and the burglar was the one who died. This is Lampshaded when the narrator notes that there's no way that the show isn't about to let the burglar get away.
  • Karmic Death:
    • Generally, half of the victims in any given episode get what they deserve.
    • Often Laser-Guided Karma.
  • Kill It with Water: Happens in "Bushwhacked 3: Waxed Offed" (a bitchy redhead at a Korean spa nearly gets her snatch burned by a flaming bikini wax strip, but ends up dead when the water from the sprinkler system douses her. The woman had a condition called aquagenic urticaria, which, in layman's terms, means "a deadly allergic reaction to water") and "Shop 'Till You Drown" (a personal shopper who steals and sells knock-off designer clothes gets thrown out by her customer's husband -- who hates her because her outrageous prices are making the couple near-bankrupt -- and the shopper falls through a pool cover and drowns trying to swim her way out).
    • She-Manned- A female body builder and fetish actress narrowly escapes drowning in her own bathtub, but dry-drowns while performing for her latest client due the water she inhaled not being expelled from her lungs.
    • "Rub-a-Dubbed Out" combines this with Your Head Asplode.
  • Kung Fool: In Kung F**ked, an idiot tries and fails miserably to headbutt through a wood plank, then a cinderblock. Not getting the message that he's not the martial arts master he thought he was, he twirls some nunchucks, hitting himself in the head and breaking his skull thanks to the earlier damage from headbutting the cinderblock.
  • Laxative Prank: Happens in "S**t Canned," where one person tries to do this this to the bride in a wedding. As karma would have it, he takes the spiked drink instead. A Karmic Death as usual ensues.
  • Loan Shark: A pair attempt to extract 10,000 dollars from a worker in "Odds Are You're Dead." The worker is on a hydraulic lift, so one shark cuts the hydraulic line. The scissor lift collapses onto him, decapitating him.
  • Locked in a Freezer: One of the deaths from the first season. A butcher is left to freeze to death in a meat locker as payback for stealing cuts of meat and getting his boss's granddaughter pregnant.
  • Made of Plasticine: This is where the show's Critical Research Failures stem from. Many ways to die are plausible enough, but the gory effects commonly depicted simply would not happen in many cases. So, for instance, impaling the back of your head on a high-pressure water spigot would be fatal, but it wouldn't make Your Head Asplode; the water would simply start exiting out through the path of least resistance, most likely back out from the entry wound itself.
  • Mad Scientist: In "Snakenstein", a German scientist from the late 1930s experiments with reanimating body parts from recently deceased animals. When experimenting with total bodily reanimation on a rattlesnake, the snake bites him.
  • The Mad Hatter: A 19th century hatter who lives up to his trope name from constant exposure to mercury...then dies of mercury poisoning.
  • Man On Fire:
    • A group of huffers (drug addicts who get high off the toxic fumes in common household items, like paint, glue, and anything from aerosol cans) find a box containing jars of industrial solvents and one of them has the brilliant idea to soak his clothing with the chemicals. Feeling a chill as the chemicals draw away his body heat, he then asks one of the other brain-trusts if he has a light. Appropriately, the story receives the title Huffington Toast.
    • Then, there's "Poi Vey," about an Orthodox Jew who moved to Hawaii and was obsessed with a hula dancer, only to get shot down by her. The man gets drunk and stumbles into a torch ceremony -- where he is burned alive.
    • And the one about a woman from the 1950s who gets her bouffant set on fire while smoking a cigarette with her boyfriend. It doesn't help that she slathered hairspray on it hours before the date.
    • In "Butt F***ed," a chain-smoker has just suffered third-degree burns from accidentally setting his house on fire. He is wrapped in bandages impregnated with flammable ointment. But he cannot resist one more smoke, and has the nurse sneak his wheelchair outside. He lights the cigarette, and some ashes land on the bandages. They set fire to the ointment, and all the bandages burn. The flames spread to the oxygen tank, which explodes, and the man lights up for the last time in his life.
    • The pyromaniac who accidentally set his pants on fire. He managed to put the fire out by jumping in a lake, but by then, the fire had already eaten through his muscle and cartilage and he collapsed in the water and drowned.
    • The coach who got set on fire in "Work of Fart" when his protege cuts one apparently didn't know stop, drop, and roll.
    • In "Poly-Ass-Turd", a conman sets up a new age healer seminar to demonstrate walking on fire. When it didn't go too well with his clients, he demonstrates walking on fire himself. He catches himself on fire causing deep lethal burns do to his polyester suit. The others couldn't put the fire out.
  • Marshmallow Hell:
    • "Ass Phyxiated", where a chubby-chasing weight-loss salesman suffocates while having sex with a fat woman.
    • "Boobicide" features an odd case of self-inflicted death by Marshmallow Hell: a stripper with inhumanly large jugs drinks alcohol with downers and lays in an inverting bed to ease her back pain, only to wind up in a haze due to her booze-pill cocktail and suffocate on her meat pillows.
    • The story of the drunk insurance salesman who crashes a beauty contest for plus-sized women (euphemistically called an "inner beauty pageant") and gets crushed by the three finalists who fall off a section of the stage that wasn't meant to hold 997 pounds of anything, human or otherwise
  • Mile-High Club: A horny couple try to join, only for the festivities (and their lives) to be cut short by some bad turbulence.
  • Misplaced Wildlife: The story of the Russian soldier who tried to screw a raccoon. Either the raccoon or the story must have been transplanted, as such animals aren't native to Russia.
  • More Dakka: A hold up man who was planning to rob a jewelry store entered a gun shop by mistake. The shop's customers and clerks -- all legally armed and acting in self-defense -- put several rounds of ammo into his center of mass, killing him. Can also be considered an instance of More Baka on the part of the dimwitted robber.
  • Mood Whiplash: At first, it seems things were going down a Downer Ending path with "Homie Invasion": Brad was dead after his wife failed to resuscitate him and the burglar got away with the stuff he stole. ... but then we immediately jump into the second half of this story: Brad came back to life (thanks to the Lazarus Syndrome) and scared the burglar, which caused him to fall off of Brad's second floor balcony, smash his head on the ground, and die. There's a reason this half is called "Homie's Dead".
  • Mugging the Monster: A rapist who attacked what turned out to be a male boxer in women's clothes, thinking "she" would be an easy mark Suck Her Punched. Also a purse snatcher gets his windpipe crushed when he targets a sweet little old lady who has thirty years' experience in Tae Kwon Do Wrin-Killed.
  • Mushroom Samba: Distorted senses lead to distorted judgment, such as diving into an empty pool, joining a furry orgy, running into cacti, running into a big-screen TV, sticking your head out of a sunroof just as a bird swoops down and lands in your mouth, setting your friend (or yourself) on fire, staying in an overheated hot tub, mainlining glowstick fluid, microwaving a lava lamp, and so forth. Expect this list to expand for as long as this show is on the air.
  • My Beloved Smother: In Smother in Law, one of these bitch-slaps her son's wife (who seriously considers stabbing the fat cow, but instead walks out of the kitchen) and nags her about food. Then she tries to get some frozen pizza from the fridge... but she's so brusque while pulling the wedge pizza box that the fridge falls on her.
  • Name's the Same:
    • Deaths #201 (a drunk children's birthday party clown gets trapped in his car by an ever-expanding dinosaur balloon) and #118 (where an energy drink addict dies of caffeine intoxication while confronting her sexist boss for giving her promotion to a man who was more willing to go down on him than she was) are both given the title "Blown Job."
    • Two deaths in the show share very similar names: #502, Gas-Hole (a fugitive tries to drink gasoline as a substitute for booze, vomits into a camp fire, and burns himself to death) and #278, Gas Holed (A proctologist operates on the ass of a stripper who ate a chili dog, her flatulence igniting on his cauterizer and sending a fireball down his windpipe, incinerating his lungs).
    • Also: #347, "ReTired" (where an auto worker is distracted by a pornographic magazine, and is killed by an over-inflated tire, which explodes and lodges a piece of shrapnel in his brain) and #412, "Re-Tired" (a robber is run down by a classic Chevy "driven" by an old man who died behind the wheel during his daily ritual of sitting in the driver's seat and reminiscing about his life).
    • Also a case of Number's The Same, as not one, not two, but seven deaths share the number 412: "Em-Bear-Assed" (a man on psychotropic mushrooms tries to have sex with a real bear after getting shot down by furries during an outdoor orgy), "Re-Tired" (the robber who was hit by a classic Chevy being "driven" by an old man who died behind the wheel), "S**t Canned" (where a jealous man at a wedding who drank a drink spiked with laxatives is killed after rolling down a hill in a trash can, which he used as a toilet in desperation), "Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow" (the nudist artist whose trichophagia [compulsion to consume her own hair] caused a bezoar in her system and killed her via internal bleeding),"Lesboned" (where a seductive real estate agent shows a house to a wealthy lesbian and upon completion of the tour, they have sex on top of a dryer, but their movements sever the dryer's fuel line, filling the room with natural gas that is ignited by the water heater, causing an explosion that kills both woman instantly), "Goon Interrupted" (where a mobster faking insanity attempts to escape from a mental institution by escaping through a laundry chute, but because of the slipperiness of the chute combined with the laundry being thrown on him, he instead falls to his death.), and "Gang Banged" (where a mobster's son attempted to avenge his father's death by killing his murderer inside of a bath house, but instead shoots a steam pipe accidentally after slipping on the wet floor; the steam burns and melts half of his face, killing him instantly).
    • A second case of Number's The Same is with #284 in the same season: "Hang Dunked" (where an egotistical basketball bully celebrates a dunk by doing a pull-up through the rim, but as he comes down, his necklace gets caught in the net and he hangs himself) and "Mail Order Fried" (where a carnival mailman who reads the letters he delivers so he can insult the carnies gets electrocuted when a carny dunks him in a dunk tank which contains exposed wires for the tank's water heater).
    • Additionally, #444 has been used twice as well for "Deadliest Munch" (where a lesbian accidentally burns dinner and tries to calm her lover down by wearing candy lingerie, but when the lover eats the thong, it snaps and chokes the lover to death) and "Jaw Boned" (where a meth addict spends his days cooking meth in his garage while chewing the same wad of gum and dipping it in citric acid to keep it fresh, but one time accidentally dips it in red phosphorus, causing his lower jaw to explode off his skull when he chews the gum).
    • In an actual case of two people's names being the same, Barnaby is used twice. Once for the man dressed as a baby in Crib Your Enthusiasm, and the other time with the Mad Hatter in Hats All Folks!
    • Deaths numbers 606 and 331: Wet Dream. In the case of the former, a man constructs a fish costume out of material from his waterbead, but winds up dying of heat stroke due to the lack of ventilation in the costume. For the latter, a cross-dressing coke user in the 80's drowns after his high heels puncture a hole in the waterbed to which he's handcuffed after a night of making love to two women.
    • Bernie is the same name as the Kansas guy who gets blown up by his own firework launcher on the 4th of July, and the slacker who gets sliced in half by a rope in an interrupted joyride.
    • Somewhat subverted with "Bush-Whacked" (Where two potheads smoke poison sumac leaves to get the ultimate high), "Bush-Whacked 2: South of the Border" (Where two drug smugglers try to hide from their drug lord ex-boss in a patch highly toxic Euphorbia tirucalli shrubs and get flushed out), and "Bush-Whacked 3: Waxed Off" (Where an ill-mannered woman getting a bikini wax dies of an allergy to water from a sprinkler set off by a burning piece of waxing paper), since the title of each death is sequelized.
  • Necro Non Sequitur: The premise.
  • Never Mess with Granny: A purse-snatcher in one story found this out the hard way.
  • Nice Hat: Tina, the player who beats the soon-to-be-deceased main character online in "Game Over", wears a cool fedora.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed:
    • The pompous, bigoted, abusive movie star named Max, who dies when his jacuzzi sucks out his guts through his anus. This is actually based on the death of Abigail Taylor, but since the actual victim was a six-year-old girl (and not many people would be cool with that), they redid the story so it happens to a Jerkass Mel Gibson Expy (the narrator even says that the victim of the story wasn't a bastard of a Hollywood actor, but he was made the victim because in the beginning, the narrator states that there are people out there who deserve to be punished by karma, but haven't been).
    • Averted with the death of Harry Houdini, which gets the unusually high number of 14 due to his fame.
    • Same for Jack Daniel's death (from sepsis after kicking his safe in a drunken rage after finally finding the perfect recipe for his whiskey), although he is called by his birth name Jasper.
    • Another episode also gave us Nicky "The Predicament" being ground up by a street sweeper.
    • Remember the politician who keeled over after suffering a heart attack from bug bites containing viral fecal matter as result of his repeated trips to Brazil to hook up with his mistress? Yeah, this guy is an Expy for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, who shamed after he disappeared for days, only to turn up in Buenos Aires, where he was cheating on his wife. The difference between this story and Real Life is Sanford is still alive.
    • "Poker Face" is based on the death of William Kogut, who constructed a pipe bomb the same as in the show, only Kogut used the pipe bomb to kill himself, not in a plot to break out of prison.
    • The mad hatter who died of mercury poisoning in "Hats All Folks!" looks like Johnny Depp's character from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.
    • "Dead-dy Dearest" is inspired by the death of actor Jon-Erik Hexum, who accidentally killed himself by firing a blank into his head.
    • "Spyanide" is based on the death of Adolf Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, who killed herself with a cyanide tablet just before Hitler shot himself in the head.
    • A dogfighter name Vick is killed by a pitbull named Michael. Ron Perlman even says Michael and Vick with the 'and' being rather quickly spoken.
    • One episode featured a clear expy of Phil Spector, complete with gun, reputation for ripping off all the musicians who worked with him in the 1950s and 1960s, and wild, curly afro.
    • Then there's "Harley" in "Apocalypse Harley," an obvious Charlie Sheen expy (so obvious that it gets a little painful). The "Hollywood Hitman" in the same segment also counts, as he looks like Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz.
  • No OSHA Compliance: Some of the deaths featured on the show were on-the-job fatalities that could have been prevented if one or more of the persons involved had followed some basic, common sense safety rules. For example, if you work in a factory that makes use of a large curing oven, always make sure nobody is in said oven before you shut the doors and turn on the timer (doubly so if one of your co-workers is a narcoleptic and may have fallen asleep inside.)
  • Not a Zombie: That's not a zombie; that's just a golf-playing cemetery worker suffering from a bad allergic reaction to fungicide in Par For the Corpse.
  • Off with His Head:
    • "D. U. Die": (see Drunk Driver above)
    • "Road Killed": A hippie chick going to a hemp convention runs over a raccoon, and tries to use CPR on it. Tilting her head up to cough, she has her head ripped off by the bumper of an incoming vehicle
    • "Tongue-Tied": Two teens driving separate cars lean out the window to kiss, only to get decapitated by a forklift in the road
    • "Golden Die-Angle": A Laotian drug lord chasing after thieves ends up decapitated by the very barbed wire fence he used as a security measure
    • "Kung Pao Pow!!!": A greedy cremator steals from a corpse said to be of a man who died from a lightning strike. He wasn't hit by lightning, but by the undetonated warhead of a weather rocket, which the cremator didn't check on. When the body was put in the cremation chamber, the warhead heated up and blew the door off of the oven, taking the cremator's head with it.
    • "Odds Are You're Dead": A loan shark cuts the hydraulic line on a scissor lift, which collapses onto his neck and decapitates him
    • "Miss-Ur Head": A criminal in early 20th century France is executed by the guillotine, with a doctor in attendance to his execution to study the effects of a freshly lopped-off head to prove that consciousness is maintained briefly after beheading, thus making the guillotine an inhumane form of captial punishment.
    • "Withdrawn": (see Your Head Asplode below)
  • One-Episode Wonder: 1000 Ways To Lie.
  • Orifice Invasion: Many instances...and not all of them accidental.
  • Out with a Bang: Lots of the sex-related deaths.
  • Overprotective Dad: In "Dead-y Dearest", a war-vet father takes to scaring off his daughter's suitor with a gun loaded with blanks. When he tried to drive home the point that there were no real bullets by setting the gun to his head and pulling the trigger, the hot air from the blank blew through his brain.
    • In "Tenta-killed" there's a traditionalist Korean father who chokes to death in a live octopus while "testing" his daughter's Korean-American boyfriend's "worth".


P-T

  • Porn Stash: Leads to a porn addict's death when he can't navigate through his collection of porn and dies of dehydration in "Pornicated."
  • The Peeping Tom: Appears in "Window Pained", when one sticks his head in a woman's window while peeping on her, and has his neck broken when the window closes on it. Then again in "Blood Bath & Beyond", with a landlord who likes to drill holes in his walls and ceiling to watch the women in adjacent apartments, and is killed when water damage causes the ceiling to collapse and a bathtub to fall on him.
  • Psycho Ex-Girlfriend - Yandere: Ashley from "Smoke Stalker", who stalked her ex-boyfriend (who was now married and wanted nothing to do with Ashley) to the extreme. While the ex-boyfriend and his wife were on vacation, Ashley decided to break in by climbing through the chimney. She gets stuck and slowly dies of dehydration, starvation, and suffocation. When the couple return, they find Ashley's lifeless, dessicated body and freak.
  • Raging Stiffie: One of the effects of the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider (a.k.a. the Banana spider). In "Eeecto-phobia", a dude who gets bitten by it tries to use said stiffie to cheat on his girlfriend... then dies while having sex with the third girl of the day.
  • Rhymes on a Dime: If Ron Perlman isn't closing a death with an Incredibly Lame Pun or two, expect him to finish with a quick poem. He even quotes from the Gospel of Matthew after two fake preachers die in a grain silo explosion.
  • Rule of Cool: The show might not have the stones to admit it, but it positively subsists on this, considering the dubious nature and Critical Research Failure of some of the stories told.
  • Russian Roulette: A group of Viet Cong veterans play and all of them live...until their celebration triggers an old landmine buried beneath the shack they were in.
  • Self-Referential Humor: "Die-Rect TV" features a couple watching 1000 Ways to Die. The segment "Vom-Ate-Dead", to be exact.
  • Sex Is Evil: See "Death by Sex".
  • Sinkholes Suck: A group of sorority pledges unknowingly build the mud pit for their charity mud wrestling event over a sinkhole. A bitchy senior member of the sorority gets sucked down into it after dominating and humiliating one of her pledges.
  • Shock and Awe:
    • "Lesbocution": A woman who decides to go lesbian after a string of bad relationships with men steps in a puddle... with bare feet (she had taken off her high heels while walking home)... that has an electric wire touching it.
    • "Oprah Winfried": A death row inmate who has been sentenced to life without parole tries to fix his TV while watching Oprah. He just so happens to be sitting on his metal toilet when he touches the exposed wire of the TV plug.
    • "Wel-Dead" An adrenaline junkie hooks himself up to a welding machine. BUZZZ! DEAD!
    • "Deadliest Catch": An easily-agitated electrician fishes while using a wire. Unfortunately, he touches the metal bottom of the boat and... well, you know what happens.
    • "Heart On": (see A Date with Rosie Palms above)
    • "Washed and Fried": 5 strippers pose as college cheerleaders doing charity car washes. While washing the van of a perverted widower, none of the women notice that the buffer they're using has a frayed wire that's dangerously close to a puddle. All five of them get shocked and drop dead.
    • "Chess Pain": A Soviet chess master playing against a supercomputer gets electrocuted when he touches a magnetic chess piece (which was on a chessboard that was not well-grounded) with his sweaty hand.
    • "Bitch Zapped": A Henpecked Husband mows the lawn for his harpy of a wife, who keeps accusing him of doing a horrible job. Fed up with the way he's doing it, she shows him the right way, unaware that she pushed the mower on top of the man's arc welder cord and ends up fried. The husband then sips her drink and says, "There is a God!"
    • "Dill D'Oh": A Jerkass nursing home manager goes off on one of the residents, a former science teacher who was wrongfully put in a retirement home at the hands of his greedy children, for making a pickle lamp. One should never grab a pickle lamp when it is lit.
    • "Who Ded?": Two female thieves posing as Hurricane Katrina relief workers in New Orleans get electrocuted by a severed power line under the water while attempting to rob a church.
    • "Heart Beat Down": A psychopath is subjected to electro-shock therapy. When he tries to make an escape later, he dies of a heart attack due to the shocks he was administered causing severe arrhythmia.
    • "Die-Brator": A Psycho Lesbian Straw Feminist gets a taser that looks like a vibrator from her girlfriend. She puts it in and electrocutes herself to death.
  • Slashed Throat: "Cock-A-Doodle-Die" has a cockfighter with a rooster that was outfitted with razors on his talons to get an edge in fighting. His opponent finds out and the audience encircles him which freaks out the chicken he was holding. While flapping about, the rooster slashes his owner's throat in one swoop.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: The egotistical leader of a washed-up boy band from "Boys 2 Dead." Unsurprisingly, his ego eventually leads him to his demise.
  • Smoldering Shoes: When the terrorists from "Tali-Bombed" blow themselves up, a smoking combat boot is all that's left of one of them.
  • Smoking Hot Sex: The sex-addicted young woman who covered her body in a month's supply of nicotine patches because her boyfriend didn't like her lighting up after sex and she wanted to quit faster.
  • Sound Effect Bleep: In "Pipe Snake," when the groupie throws out her ex-boyfriend's guitar, she calls him an "asshole." The last part of the word was obscured by an electric guitar chord.
  • Soundtrack Dissonance: Some commercials promoting new episodes seem to use this technique. For example, one commercial has two teens being decapitated by a stack of boxes... while The Chords' "Sh-Boom" played in the background.
  • Spin-Off: 1000 Ways To Lie (about history's greatest frauds and scams). Canceled after 1 episode.
  • Stock Footage: The video game in "Game Over" [5] is later on being played by the teen in "Hack Attack" [6].
  • Stuff Blowing Up:
    • "De-Throned," a Jerkass biker gets blown up after throwing his cigarette in the toilet (which was filled with spilled gasoline that his "maid" {a waitress forced to do housework for the jerk to pay off a gambling debt} poured in and never flushed) after taking a dump.
    • "Les-Boned," a bisexual real estate agent and a lesbian client get it on on top of the washing machine, which explodes due a methane gas leak ignited by a water heater.
    • "Tali-Bombed," the story of the two terrorists who set up a GPS-timed bomb and blew up when they forgot that the timer they used resets itself for Daylight Saving Time,
    • "Bibli-Killed," two con artists take shelter inside a grain silo in order to hide from a shotgun-wielding farmer's wife who overhears them having sex with her granddaughter -- and then blow up when one of them lights a flame that reacts with the grain dust,
    • "Butt F***ed," in which a smoker previously lit on fire from falling asleep with a cigarette in his mouth ends up in the hospital, is wrapped in flammable ointment and bandages, and ends when he sets himself on fire again and has his oxygen tank explode,
    • "Red, White, and Blew," where a redneck looks down into the barrel of a homemade firework launcher-- right as a firework goes off into flies into his skull,
    • "Titty Titty Bang Bang," see Gag Boobs above,
    • "Tanked Girl," when a woman inside a decompression chamber explodes when a maintenance worker accidentally opens the door to the chamber, altering the pressure inside,
    • "Micro Whacked," a drug addict who uses 4 drugs at once, puts his lava lamp into the microwave to heat it up and make it move faster, only for it to explode, sending shards of glass and wax into his face,
    • "Clay Achin" in which stoners try to bake a bong in a kiln and, after the fire goes out, try to light it with a match, blowing up the kiln and blasting shards of clay into their faces,
    • "Jaw-Boned": A methhead takes to dipping his chewing gum in citric acid to keep it fresh while cooking up meth, only to one day accidentally dip it in red phosphorous and subsequently blow his jaw off when his bite ignites the powder.
    • "Poker Face": A death row inmate tries to make a pipe-bomb using playing cards, which, in the '30s, were coated in nitrocellulose, a highly volatile substance when mixed with hot water. He heats the bomb, but when it doesn't explode, picks it up to examine it, in the process completing the nitrocellulose/hot water combination and making it explode in his face.
    • "Kung Pao Pow!!!" (see Off with His Head above)
    • "Doggie Styled": a pair of drunk redneck hunters throw a stick of dynamite to flush out ducks, only for their golden retriever (who is telling the story through his eyes) to return it to them. You can almost hear the Looney Tunes theme playing.
    • "Withdrawn": A bank robber constructs an explosive collar to make a bank teller think he's being coereced into doing the real bad guys' dirty work. When said teller makes her exit and uses an electronic key to unlock her door, she accidentally sets off the bomb.
    • "Chicken Boned": A group of extremely bored teenagers play games of chicken, one of which being who can stand having a lit stick of homemade explosives in their mouth the longest. One guy spits his out. The other, cheering for his own victory, accidentally swallows his explosive, which then blows out his trachea.
    • "As-Capped": A geriatric and quite senile old music producer threatens his band with a gun. While going off on a rant, he accidentally shoots his oxygen tank. It does not end well for him.
  • Super Window Jump: The lawyer who jumps through the window of his building's 40th floor to prove said windows are unbreakable. It didn't work.
  • Take That:
    • Especially in the newest season -- the crew love taking the piss out of anyone contemptible, such as perverts, thieves, fools, addicts, drug abusers, and bullies. Concurrent with the rise in gore. Ron Perlman narrates.
    • The last death of the episode "The End Is Weird" involves a violent, sexist, anti-Semitic, egotistical movie star who makes abusive phone calls to his girlfriend named Max. The death is very brutal, and they begin and end it with Ron Perlman talking about Karma Houdinis that need to be punished.
    • In the same episode, the segment "Die-Drant" featured a major asshole who wanted to cause people to crash by reflecting light off of a mirror into the driver's eyes. He gets his wish when one driver does run into a fire hydrant, only for said hydrant to brain him.
    • "That's Mister Death to You" has a dogfighter named Vick get killed by a dog named Michael.
    • "Tea Bagged" (the story of an inexperienced female politician who got stabbed with the bayonet of her prop musket after having a stroke during a rally) is based on either Michelle Bachmann or Sarah Palin.
    • "Apocalypse Harley" features a Charlie Sheen-esque TV actor going into a drug-and-tiger-blood-fueled craze and killing himself when he trips and falls on his machete.
  • Tear Off Your Face: A dimwit falls face-first into a snow plow he's warming up. It is not pretty.
  • Testosterone Poisoning:
    • The insane pervert who tries to use "Bessie" the electrically stimulated cow heart as a sex toy.
    • The weightlifter who tries to bench-press an I-beam and drops it on his throat.
    • The Chinese heavy metal fan who slipped and fell out his bedroom window -- with his roommate and fellow rocker following suit.
    • The Bruce Lee wannabe who wanted to make a viral video to get a real woman and not have to settle for the blow-up doll he had in his garage. Winds up breaking his skull by trying to crush boards and concrete with his head, then smacking himself in the face with nunchucks.
  • Too Dumb to Live:
  • To the Pain: Once a segment gets to the actual dying part medical experts will pop in to explain how the death will happen and what the body experiences and what the person will feel while dying if at all all the while the segment is going in the background with CGI displays of the human body subjected to to the injury(ies) of the segment.
  • Trampled Underfoot: Happens to a biker during the mayhem he himself caused (by ripping off a female dancer's top) in "Lady And The Trampled" and a jealous cheerleader captain who "accidentally" let the new girl on the team fall (only for the bitchy cheerleader to get run down by the entire football team as they charge out onto the field) in "Pam-Caked!"
  • Typhoid Mary: Mary Mallon (the real name of the Trope Namer) appears in the story "Mary-Nated" in which she inadvertently kills a rich couple by infecting them with typhoid fever with the contaminated food she cooked.


U-Z

  • Undignified Death: The other point of the show.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Some times played straight, mostly averted: often, unless the victim was really a douche, the bystanders near have a panic attack.
    • Notably, there was one where the Jerkass leader of a washed-up boy band believes that there is a bigger crowd than normal and stage dives onto the floor. After a few seconds, the rest of the band continue their routine as the crowd inspects the man. A Crowning Moment of Funny.
    • Then there's the punk who threatened a woman with a screwdriver and tried to make off with her purse on a bike, only to fall over his bike and stab himself in the heart. The woman he stuck up comes along just to take her purse back.
    • There's also the teens firing paintball guns at people from a car. Among their targets was an old lady, who caught up with them and started smacking the driver with her purse after the CO2 canister on his gun flew off and broke the second guy's neck.
    • A clown who doesn't take kindly to the "Infernal Clown Posse" ruining the image of clowns goes to one of their concerts and tries to crash it, only to get electrocuted trying to unplug a large wire. ICP's response? "IN! YOUR! FACE!"
    • A band of old musicians watches their senile ex-producer explode after accidentally shooting his oxygen tank. Following, they just keep playing the song they were singing before the incident.
  • Unwilling Suspension: In "Card Jacked", a car thied tried to steal a rich man's muscle car and got into his garage via descending from the ceiling. Then his leg got tangled in a rope and he ended up hanging upside down for several hours, which killed him in the end.
  • Urban Legends: MythBusters actually debunked the Gag Boobs death twice. This leads to many of the other less well-known deaths and situations to become suspect on whether they're possible or actually happened.
    • Before we move on, it's explicitly stated in that "death" that the implants were water balloons made by a quack, not the real deal. Mythbusters de-bunked the myth using real breast implants, but never bothered to test fake ones.
    • They also managed to bust the death involving whizzing on the electric fence, which really doesn't help the show's credibility.
    • Regarding the the story of "Mudder Sucked" (about the sorority girl who drowns in a sinkhole after beating a pledge in a mud wrestling contest), They also busted the Quicksand myth.
    • On the other hand, the MythBusters have also proven the plausability of some of the other deaths, like:
      • 'Micro-Whacked', it is an EXTREMELY bad idea to try and speed up lava lamp by putting it in the microwave or on a stove top, it WILL explode.
      • A mostly empty beer keg thrown onto a bonfire will explode.
  • Very Loosely Based on a True Story: Most of the deaths that actually did happen tend to be recreated in very exaggerated and prurient ways, often because the victims of the actual deaths were children (i.e., the Mel Gibson-esque movie star who got his internal organs sucked out of his anus when he sat on a hot tub drain while forcing his girlfriend into giving him oral sex happened to a six-year-old girl named Abigail Taylor, but for ethical, moral, and legal reasons, they made it happen to a Jerkass adult who deserved to be punished). Just goes to show you that Even Evil Has Standards.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: "Pukey" Suki is an emetophiliac (a sexual deviant who derives pleasure from either vomiting or being vomited on), so we see her induce a couple of men to vomit, and the vomiting is displayed on-camera with no attempt to hide it.
  • The War On Straw
  • White Dwarf Starlet: Seedra from "Inject-icide", an elderly former beauty queen who injected her face with corn oil as a cheap substitute for Botox (as she couldn't afford the actual treatments). Some of that got into her bloodstream, and then it started leaking out of her face...
  • Wilhelm Scream: In "Red, White, and Blew."
  • World of Ham: Considering the ridiculously exaggerates doses of Fan Service, stupidity and gruesome deaths, this is a given.
  • Woman Scorned: One of thse shows up in "Chemi-Killed", destroying the laboratory where she works after her co-worker regrets having had sex with her. While tossing stuff around, there's a chemical reaction coming from an experiment flask thrown in a sink full of water, and ends up killing her.
  • Yet Another Stupid Death: Every death ends with a pun, some more hilarious than others.
  • You Look Familiar: Some of the characters have been played by the same actor, such as
    • The jealous ex-boyfriend who used a trash can as a toilet and died rolling downhill in "Sh** Canned" and the CEO in "Sumowed."
    • The Peeping Tom landlord who got his skull crushed in while spying on a woman bathing in "Blood Bath & Beyond" and the Fat Bastard who died of excess MSG from a steady diet of Chinese buffet food in "All He Could Eat."
    • Fernando in "Anger Damagement" and the Fijian chief in "Reef Stew."
    • The con artist in "Squeeze Play" and the fat man who dies of appendicitis in "Fat Man in a Little Swing."
    • There's also a case of "You Sound Familiar": the song performed by that washed-up boy band in "Boyz 2 Dead" is also the song that the underwear-clad girl being spied on by the Peeping Tom landlord sang in "Blood, Bath, and Beyond." With both of these being aired in the same episode, no less.
  • Your Head Asplode:
    • "Rub-a-Dubbed-Out": A lowlife running from the cops after stealing a sack of groceries from a blind pregnant woman gets himself locked inside a car wash. The manager, not knowing someone was in there, turned on the machinery and the hapless crook became disoriented from being sprayed and buffeted by the array of hoses and spinning brushes. He finally stumbles backward and impales the back of his skull on a high pressure water nozzle...with messy results.
    • "Jaw Boned": (see Stuff Blowing Up above)
    • "Die-drant": An immature prankster blinds a driver with a mirror, causing the car to hit a fire hydrant. The hydrant flies off...and through the man's head, pasting what little brain he had over the wall of his house.
    • "Withdrawn": A bank robber (obviously based on Brian Wells) wears a C4 bomb collar around his neck to convince the tellers and cops that he was being forced to commit the heist. When one freaked-out teller deactivates her car alarm to get away from the madness, she unknowingly activates the collar's remote blast cap (which was on the same frequency as her alarm remote), causing it to explode and take the robber's head clean off. Well, not exactly clean, but you get the picture...
  1. ↑ at least 31 people died in woodchipper accidents from 1992 to 2002. Makes you want to ensure that every woodchipper comes with a DVD copy of Fargo
  2. ↑ A shrewish woman nags at her husband about mowing the lawn until she decides to do it. Eventually, she runs over her husband's arc welder, electrocuting herself. The man's response is saying "There is a God," and sipping some of his wife's martini.
  3. ↑ A washed-up boy band performs for an unenthusiastic crowd at a bar. The narcissistic leader attempts to crowd surf only to break his neck on the ground when no one catches him. One Beat later, the band continues their act.
  4. ↑ He had a rare condition called "Lazarus Syndrome"
  5. ↑ The one about the gamer who dies of blood clots in his legs after sitting for nearly three days trying to be the next video game master, only to be defeated by a girl
  6. ↑ The one about the computer hacker who hacks into his own pacemaker and gets killed when his bratty gamer neighbor is playing video games with a wireless controller
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