Parallel Porn Titles

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    Hmm. You know, curiously enough, the X-rated version had the same name.
    —Mike J. Nelson, Riff Trax of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
    The porno spoof is a fantastic art of film-making. Truly. When you break it down, the porno spoof is really nothing but a Saturday Night Live sketch, but with fucking. And any more humor. And what's also fascinating about the porno spoof is that most people just quit after they hear the title, as if the title is the climax of the porno spoof experience. It's not. The title is just the foreplay. The climax is when you watch the movie, and find out just who is eating Gilbert Grape!
    —The Cinema Snob

    Virtually every popular mainstream movie or TV show will have its title and the rudiments of its plot morphed into a porn video. This fact of adult entertainment is even more certain than death and taxes. It's mandated pursuant to the provisions of Rule 34.

    The porn industry really only has one product to sell. That's graphic depictions of people having sex. Naturally this makes things very competitive with each production company looking for an edge in the marketplace. The gay porn industry has its members always trying to stick out, while the straight porn industry is always trying to find a niche to squeeze into. So much like Hollywood itself, it exploits that which is already successful.

    There are (of course) entire web sites dedicated to listing actual porn ripoffs of popular media. It's also a common game to take normal media titles and see how many porn titles they can be twisted into. Most of the times the only parody is the title. Curiously, the current hot trend in the porn industry is for high-budget, well-made parodies (well, higher-budget and better-made, anyway) that re-create what they're spoofing with careful attention to detail... but which reject parody titles in favor of just taking the original title and sticking "Not" in front of it or "A XXX Parody" afterwards.

    Examples: Star Whores (Episode IV: A New Hole), Muffy the Vampire Layer, Lord of the G-Strings, An Officer and a Gentleman and Golden Retriever, Dr. Buttlove, or; How I Learned To Stop Clenching and Love the Plug, Top Gun.

    One popular misconception is that this is standard practice in the porn industry. While it seems common, it's worth noting that it is a vast minority in the porn out there (as noted above). Most of it goes by the format of [race/gender/defining characteristic of participants] [optional fetish twist] [primary action performed] [number of series], the only fixed order generally being the number. For example, Interracial Anal Dildos 14. However, those titles are rarely much fun to talk about, so the ones that pop out to the general public are these titles listed below.

    Of course, there's also an Inverted Trope: don't confuse Jennifer Lopez' chambermaid character having an affair with her hotel's client in Maid in Manhattan (2002) with Vanessa Del Rio's maid character having an affair with her client (and later his son) in Maid in Manhattan (1984)...

    See also Rule 34. Just for Pun in action (hur hur hur). Rule of Funny is also involved; why have a potentially squicky actual porn title when you could have one of these and get a small laugh?. Compare The Mockbuster.

    Examples (sorted by the media being pornified):

    Straight

    Anime & Manga

    • Total Media Agency (known as TMA) loves to do this by producing live-action Parallel Porn Titles of anime series, such as Suzumiya Hahiru no Yuuutsu (for Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu), Faith/stay night (for Fate/stay night) and so forth. These are most often sought after in the community only for the sake of mocking the ugly stars that conflicts terribly with the surprisingly well done (most of the time) cosplay outfits. Oddly enough, none of them are real puns, just twists on the names for the sake of it.
      • Perhaps the most unsubtle name from them: Clonnad (For |Clannad). Sounds similar to "clone", doesn't it?
      • Not to forget their infamous version of the first arc of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, which was mistaken for the real live action movie by many and panned...Yes, they took a depressing delusion filled arc and made it crappy live action porn while leaving all the scenes intact.
    • There's a Hentai anime titled Elfen Laid, but it has nothing to do with Elfen Lied.
    • Possible subversion: The Hills Have Size is real, but it's not what you think - it's just the American dub of a totally unrelated hentai.
    • Foxy Nudes (Hana no Joshi Ana: Newscaster Etsuko).
    • A comprehensive list of punny hentai titles can be found here.
    • Unwired is a U.S. company that specializes in this involving famous anime. Their work includes Sailor and the 7 Ballz (a pornographic crossover of Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z among other famous '90s anime), Star Ballz (like Sailor and the 7 Ballz only set in the Star Wars universe) and Ninja Love (which according to the cover stars Naruto, the Futari wa Pretty Cure girls and Nadia). Unfortunately, most people consider Sailor and the 7 Ballz to be one of the worst pornos they had ever seen.
    • Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt has these every other title, unless they decide to go with a plain old Parody Name.

    Comic Books

    • Private produced a trilogy of movies based on Sin City called (you guessed it) Sex City.


    Film

    • Porn on the Fourth of July, White Men Can Hump and A League of Their Moan are all genuine titles.
    • So is Edward Penishands.
      • In an interview Tim Burton once said that the moment it hit him that he really was doing well in Hollywood was when he saw there was a porn film of Edward Scissorhands. He also mentioned meeting the actor who played the title character and shaking hands with him.
      • The book Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town brings up that movie title. It's not clear if the author knew it was a real movie, or if it's just a coincidence.
    • White man does Native American girl in Pocahotass.
    • There is a porn film called What's Love Got To Do With It, and the theaters that showed it had to indicate that it is not the Angela Bassett film about Tina Turner. The porno film had used the title first, which gave it the right to keep it.
    • Bareback Mountain was the title of a number of porn films (both straight and gay) titled to capitalize on the success of Brokeback Mountain. There was also Barebum Mountain as well.
    • The maker/star of Lord of the G-Strings is a twisted, sick little monkey. Her other films include Spider-Babe (Where she played Peta Porker/Spider-Babe) and The Girl who Shagged Me. Also, Lust for Dracula which is a Mind Screw even without having a parody porn title. She's since stopped making these lovely little movies, though. Some of her other titles are Play-Mate of the Apes and Dr. Jackyl and Mistress Hyde, which is a total Mind Screw about drugs and sex.
    • In the novel Porno (sequel to Trainspotting) a group of people are making a porography film simply to prove they can. The title of the film is Seven Rides For Seven Brothers.
    • There was a porn movie made called The Penetrator, which was a reworking of the movie featuring everyone's favorite sociopathic cyborg. The tag line? "I'll come again."
      • It even had a sequel: Penetrator 2: Grudge Day.
        • Not "Judgement Lay"?
      • That movie may also have been marketed as The Sperminator.
    • Splendor in the Ass
    • There's at least three pornos whose names are puns of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. One of them is The Rocki Whore Picture Show, complete with musical numbers, which of course removed all traces or suggestions of guy-on-guy sex.
    • Robin Williams says his favorite porn movie is Snatch Adams. He closed his Weapons of Self-Destruction HBO special with a routine about porn spoofs of his films, culminating in his imitation of a porn version of Popeye.
    • Hung Wankenstein. It actually follows the plot of the Mel Brooks movie quite closely, too...
    • Flesh Gordon, which actually got a review in Leonard Maltin's book series at one point.
      • And guess what they did with Dr. Zarkoff's name?
        • Dr. Flexi Jerkoff.
    • The Hole? Seven days after you see The Hole, you turn gay.
    • The Wizard of Ahs. Bad special effects really kills one's libido.
      • There's also a series of klismaphilia videos both titled and starring a guy who calls himself "A/The Wizard of Ass"
    • Pirates of the Caribbean has its own: Pirates: Stagnotti's Revenge. Doesn't sound like a porno to you? Well, it didn't to the managers of at least 6 video stores, who ordered it in bulk, marked it as a family adventure movie. Notably, Pirates is also one of the highest budget porn films ever made.
        • And has its own sequel (and is, incidentally, pretty damn funny). It's also rated 'R', begetting the question of whether it counts as porn in the first place. Both films had R-rated versions released which had all the sex scenes removed. The flipside is that both were also released as good old-fashioned fun adventury porn romps.
        • Surely you mean they were rated Arrrrr?
        • That's it you're walking the plank.
    • Hubert Breast, Re-Penetrator. No, really.
    • Jennifer Ate
    • Danni's Hard Drive does these on a regular basis, a few examples being Cliterfield, The Breast Wing and just recently Indiana Moans and the Kingdom of the Crystal Dildoes.
    • Pleasureville isn't far off from Pleasantville, titularly.
    • There Will Be Cum
    • Anything on Cinemax is either a play on a popular movie, Cleavagefield, or is a mockery of generic plot lines like investigations, or what not.
    • Driving Miss Daisy Crazy. The Daisy character was younger than in the original, obviously. (The video cover gave the actress's name as, yes, "Jessica Randy". And the male lead was apparently "Organ Freeman".)
      • Riding Miss Daisy too clever to sell?
        • Actually, I remember an In Living Color skit advertising an imaginary porno called "Ridin' Miss Daisy." If the title was indeed never actually used, that might be the reason.
    • A Clockwork Orgy, showing that even the classics are given the porno treatment.
    • Forrest Hump. Yeah.
    • Backside to the Future. Found that one in a banner ad on a DeLorean fan site back in the days when site owners chose their advertisers personally. *eep*
    • Carolina Jones And The Broken Covenant. Indy's daughter is up to some interesting shenanigans. It's basically Carolina trying to retrieve the Ark again... which has shrunk considerably. It's like a sequel to the first, but not, and with a ton of sex and shrieking. "Indiana" even makes an appearance at the end to save the day. Thankfully, he does not actually have sex with anyone.
      • Let's not forget Carolina Jones and the Temple of Poon.
    • The Da Vinci Load: A group of woman called the Priory of Semen try to steal the Mona Lisa because it contains genetic material from him they plan to use to father his child.
      • There's also a softcore version known as The Da Vinci Coed.
    • There are some truly lovely ones laying around (pun very much intended) with my personal favorite being Vaginal Destination.
    • The Devil Wears Nada.
    • Ass Ventura.
    • While not exactly a pun on the title, there is such a thing as Snow White and the Three Dwarves (and, yes, that's how "dwarfs" is spelled in the title).
      • That's how it's spelt (British)/spelled (American) in lots of places, including the works of Tolkien, both are correct.
        • I think spelling is the least of this thing's problems... Yeesh.
        • Tolkien, at least, got that wrong, though he didn't realize until well past the final proof for The Hobbit. In LOTR he kept using that spelling, justifying it by saying that if the word "dwarf" was more common, its plural would be irregular ("dwerrows"; compare "Dwarrowdelf", the English name for Khazad-dûm in Moria), so he chose a spelling that was irregular all the same but didn't stray away from the pronounciation.
      • The Seven Dwarves version is also available under your friendly neighbourhood counter.
    • The Sweet Rear You're After.
    • Hannah Does Her Sisters.
    • Phallus in Wonderland, which is actually the title of the GWAR movie, as well as a poem by Gavin Ewart. The pun goes back at least to 1925.
    • Las Tortugas Pinjas is a Argentinean low-budget porn film made in The Nineties as a Affectionate Parody (?!) of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, dubbed in Latin America as "Las Tortugas Ninjas". Pinjas would be a portmanteaux of "Ninja" with "pija", Spanish older-than-they-think slang for the johnson (though The Cinema Snob translated it as "eeew!"). Available only in VHS and almost an Urban Legend in Buenos Aires.
      • Also, there's Pollémon, a porn movie with a Pokémon reference in its title. Its label reads "Vive las fascinantes aventuras de Pollachu" (Live the fascinating adventures of Pollachu), a portmanteau of "Pikachu" and "polla", another slang for the male fallus. Ah, if you are wondering, the movie has nothing to do with Pokémon.
    • There is a vampire-themed gay porn movie called Twinklight.
      • It's finished, and it's excellent.
    • Kill Bill was turned into Thrill Bill (straight) and Drill Bill (gay).
    • The Hills Have Thighs. The less said the better.
    • The Human Sexipede. Yes, the stitches go elsewhere. And be sure to read the script (as the page itself reads: "If this is SFW where you W, I want to W there too."), it's hilarious.
    • There was a supposedly hilarious porn knock-off of Batman Returns in 1992. It was called Splatman, and it actually followed the rudiments of the movie's plot closely. Sadly, almost no one has seen it because Warner Brothers filed a suit to keep it from being distributed.
    • The King's Piece.
    • From Lust Till Dawn or, alternatively From Dusk Till Down.
    • Night of the Giving Head.
    • Top Guns. Notable for the fact that despite replacing Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer with two hot bisexual women, the parody still managed to have less of a homoerotic undertone than the original movie.
    • E.T.: The Porno. It's about as erotic as you would expect.

    Live-Action TV

    The Humpster: Thirteen motherfucking episodes! Thirteen! They made a whole motherfucking series of this!

    • There's a Married... With Hormones available and it also has an sequel along with two more porn spoofs like Married... With She Males and This Ain't Married With Children XXX. Click the SFW video (they cut the porn parts out) and be disturbed by the porn spoof of a Frank Sinatra classic tune.
    • The late '80s also gave us Falcon Breast and DallASS.
    • "Desperate Househusbands" and "Desperate Houseboys" (both gay), there is also a lot of Housewives Desperate for stuff.
    • The uncreative trend of simply putting "Not" in front of an existing title has surfaced recently, leading to titles like Not the Bradys XXX, Not Bewitched XXX, Not the Cosbys, and the list goes on.
    • There is a gay porn movie called Jersey Score. It's actually pretty good.
    • The Dicks Of Hazard
    • Everybody Does Raymond
    • Sex Trek. There are at least nine productions of such, according to Memory Alpha.
    • The forgetable Muffy the Vampire Layer and Buffy the Vampire Layer, and now Buffy the Vampire Slayer XXX: A Parody. Unlike those first two, that one actually tries to be accurate to the show, even including characters like Jenny Calender and Harmony.
    • Johnny Carson had two porn flick titles he often used as the Tea Time Movie. I doubt there were actual films made with these titles, but there should have been. Mondo Squatto and Gidget's Night on an Aircraft Carrier.
    • Reno 911! was pornified. Apparently they didn't change the title.
      • Which would be impressive, given that the original show is already considered as porn in some countries.
    • There was a pornographic parody of Scrubs made, which Zach Braff himself was amused by it so much that he endorsed it in interviews.
    • A bit disturbingly, the kid-oriented Game Center CX has one in the form of Ero-Game Center SEX.
    • The Sopornos

    Music


    Professional Wrestling

    • Val Venis, WWE's resident wrestling porn star, seems to have a resume composed entirely of these titles. One angle in particular had him cutting a promo on Ken Shamrock from the set of a movie he was making entitled Shaving Ryan's Privates, which co-starred Ken's sister Ryan (Shaving Ryan's Privates is a real softcore gay porn movie). Another saw him rattle off a Long List of them when he met Shelton Benjamin's mother backstage, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she knew him from somewhere.
      • Talking of wrestling, as Wrestlecrap's Death of WCW book notes, you could tell wrestling was truly mainstream again when the nWo got a porn parody (Nude World Order).


    Video Games


    Western Animation

    Real Life

    • Obama porn is relatively new: Cream From Your Mother and The Audacity Of Ho are just two of the titles on offer...
    • Zodiac Rapist, probably the only porno based (really loosely, admittedly) on a real life Serial Killer.


    Other


    Parodies

    Card Games


    Comic Books

    • In Transmetropolitan, Spider Jerusalem's enemies try to make people stop taking him seriously by putting out a porn flick called I Hump It Here (the title of his column being "I Hate It Here").
      • Technically that wasn't his enemies, just all kinds of opportunists flocking to the money-making machine - after Spider's assistant Yelena sold them license to use his name and likeness. Spider wasn't amused.
    • Garth Ennis loves these. In both Chronicles of Wormwood and Kev there is a scene with a lot of porn videos on display with such titles as The Hunt for Red Cocktober, Starsky and Crotch, Baredevil, and so on.
    • In a comic by Michael Kupperman, an old man grants a boy special powers when he says SKREWPA, which is an acronym...

    Old Man: The S is for Sperms of Endearment! The K is for King Dong! The R is for Romancing the Bone! The E is for E.T.3: The Extra Testicle! The...
    Billy: ?! Those are all porn movie titles!
    Old Man: I've been in this cave alone too long... I've forgotten the real list...


    Film

    • Referenced in Back to The Future. One of the movies playing at the porno theater in the rundown town square of 1985 is titled Orgy, American Style, a title parody of the TV anthology series Love, American Style. On the DVD's audio commentary, Bob Gale stated that he was unsure whether there was an actual movie with that title, but said there probably was (there isn't, at least according to IMDb).
    • On the Rifftrax for The Island of Doctor Moreau, Mike speculates that the porn version is called The Thighland of Dr. More-O.
    • In the movie Dirty Work, the protagonists work at a movie theater and get revenge on their abusive manager by replacing Men in Black with the creatively named Men In Black Who Like To Have Sex With Each Other.

    Screen Voice # 1: Look! An alien!
    Screen Voice # 2: Yeah. We'd better have sex with each other.
    Screen Voice # 1: Hey! This alien looks just like a hot guy!
    Screen Voice # 2: You're right. We'd better have sex with him.

    Zack: Look at you! Anything I've seen? What movies?
    Brandon: Oh, all sorts of movies with all-male casts.
    Zack: All-male casts? Like "Glengarry Glen Ross"? Like that?
    Brandon: Like Glen and Gary Suck Ross's Meaty Cock and Drop Their Hairy Nuts in His Eager Mouth.
    Zack: ...is that like a sequel?

    Oancitizen: Please, no Titties Andronicus? No Glory Hole Anus? No A Midnight Summer's Cream?
    The Cinema Snob: That one actually exists.


    Literature


    Live-Action TV

    It's XXX-rated and the first three letters are suspiciously capitalised.

    • When McGee has his identity stolen in an NCIS subplot, he is stumped as to what Forrest Hump could possibly be.

    Tony: Well, it's like Forrest Gump with naked people!


    Radio


    Video Games

    Web Original


    Web Comics


    Western Animation

    Doctor in Porn: The lab results are back. You've tested positive for nymphomania.
    Actress in Porn: Oh, no, what should I do?
    Doctor in Porn: [unzips] Take two of these and call us in the morning.
    Stewie: Oh, now that's not going to help her nymphomania. It's only going to exacerbate it.

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