John Laurinaitis

John Joseph Laurinaitis is former wrestler, unde the name Johnny Ace, and is currently the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations for WWE, and the GM for both Raw and Smackdon. Wrestled mainly in Japan, before his retirement, then became head booker for WCW.

John Laurinaitis provides examples of the following tropes:

• Accidental Public Confession: Type 1. His Villainous Breakdown caused him to reveal his intent to screw CM Punk at the Royal Rumble. The board of directors didn't like that very much.
• Arch Enemy: Teddy Long, CM Punk and John Cena
• Ascended Extra: Spent years in the background in WWE, until 2011 when CM Punk cut a promo where Laurinaitis was included. Now he's the Raw and Smackdown GM.
• Author Appeal: He looked up Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox after seeing pictures of them in a fashion magazine and offered them developmental contracts. Neither one showed any interest at first but the magazine told them it would be a good idea. When you hear complaints about models getting hired this is probably what is being referred to, not Trish or Victoria.
• Bad Boss
• Be Careful What You Wish For: As John Morrison learned when he wanted Triple H removed from running Raw.
  • Heck, EVERYONE that wanted change except the Heels probably feel this way.
  • Even some of the heels, since after Laurinaitus reached power, a lot of them were no longer given the backup he promised as he they helped him up the ladder. The Miz in particular was told he was only good as a personal suck up and that he was on his own when he asked for something to be done about R-Truth.
    • Jerkass Has a Point: He also says that Miz only brought it on himself.
• Berserk Button: He does not like having his voice being mocked. John Cena and The Big Show found this out the hard way.
• Blasphemous Boast: "I am better than The Rock and Brock Lesnar combined."
• Blatant Lies: He claims that his reason for his Jerkass decisions are because "That's what the people want" even going as far as calling his era "People Power" when his decisions are clearly for his sadistic pleasure.
  • See Blasphemous Boast.
• Butt Monkey: Both on-screen and off. On-screen he is a butt of many jokes from Cena and especially CM Punk. Off-screen he is hated by many wrestlers who feel they were unfairly treated by him and by proponents of stronger women's wrestling.
• Corrupt Corporate Executive
• Dull Surprise / Won't Work On Me: Gave absolutely no reaction when he was about to get the GTS from CM Punk.
• Five-Bad Band: Seems to lead an informal one now, although the actual number of members could be disputed.
  • Big Bad: John Laurinaitis, of course.
  • The Dragon: Tensai, who overlaps with The Brute as well.
  • The Evil Genius: David Otunga fits this to a T - although he tries really hard to be The Dragon.
  • The Brute: Definitely Tensai, and possibly the pair of Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins, who seem to work security or 'muscle' jobs for Laurinaitis recently.
  • The Dark Chick: Eve Torres.
  • Sixth Ranger Traitor: The Big Show.
• Follow the Leader: Invented the Cutter with Diamond Dallas Page. Superstars who've adapted the cutter include Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, the Dudleyz, both Hardys, etc.
• Forgot Flanders Could Do That/Retired Badass: Was actually a very good wrestler in his day. He helped invent the Diamond Cutter/RKO, the Stunner and the F-5. He was also in a match that Dave Meltzer gave 5 stars and won the Wrestling Observer Match of the Year in 1996. That was the same year as the Shawn Michaels Bret Hart Iron Man match at Wrestlemania XII.
  • Although this turned out to be a moot point, as after so much hype from the IWC, of all people, about him being the perfect, necessary choice for a heel authority figure because he could also wrestle and have actual matches against his opponents, all he's had are the same type of matches that all non-wrestling personalities had.
    • He very briefly shows this ability in his match against Cena, and lays a few good moves. Otherwise however it was a one sided comedic beatdown even Vince would be embarrassed by.
• Full-Name Basis: Always introduces himself this way
• Hidden Depths: Apparently is a very creative agent (person who plans matches with wrestlers). You won't hear that from scores of wrestlers who don't like him though.
• Hoist by His Own Petard/Nice Job Fixing It, Villain
  • Made Zack Ryder's Number One Contenders match with Mark Henry a No Disquilification Match. John Cena takes full advantage to on out and interfere in Zack's favor.
  • He challenged John Cena to match at Over The Limit, clearly intending to cheat in some way shape or form. Too bad that right as he prepared to fix the match in some fashion, the board of directors put very specific conditions for the match that cut him off at the pass. Oh, and if he loses, he's fired.
• Irony: He ended his Motive Rant to Mick Foley about how much he hated CM Punk and was planning on screwing Punk at the Royal Rumble...by blasting Foley in the head with the microphone, which is one of the distinctive things Punk has been known for doing.
  • Also, his firing of The Big Show - a Moral Event Horizon act that seemed almost certain to come back and bite him in this ass in the "swift karma" world of Professional Wrestling storylines - actually ended up working in his favor, because he was able to convince Show (by offering him a new contract) to turn on John Cena, which ended up saving his job.
• Jerkass
• Karma Houdini: Was in danger of losing his status as Interim General Manager before the 2012 Royal Rumble after publically admitting that he intended to screw CM Punk out of the championship title, but he managed to convince the Board of Directors to give him another chance. Then he manages to take over both Raw and Smackdown and has been making Jerkass decisions as well as blackmailing Teddy Long. Then he decides to make Brock Lesnar, a brute who enjoys beating people up, the top face of the company, even giving in to Lesnar's outrageous demands. And after losing his top face, he lashes out on a already-injured John Cena. And despite all that, the Board of Directors still haven't took any action against him.
  • However, John Cena has been approached by the Board of Directors about Laurinaitis' attack on him and told them not to do anything to him until after their match at Over the Limit.
    • And they didn't. They just declared very specific rules for the match that cut off any possible attempts by Laurinaitis to fix the match and declared that if Cena beat him, Laurinaitis will be fired. Cena approved.
      • Only for Laurinatis to win the match as a result of a Face Heel Turn by The Big Show and maintain his job as GM (albeit after a lengthy beatdown by Cena).
• It's All About Me: Despite his statement on "People Power", he's done nothing but do things for himself. John Cena called him out on it in his "The Reason You Suck" Speech.
• Kick the Dog: In his first night as Interim General Manager, he fires Jim Ross. After becoming GM of both Raw and Smackdown, he has been kicking Teddy in every Cool and Unusual manner possible.
  • Pet the Dog: Due to said Flame Bait and the not so PG friendly responses he gives J.R a match with Michael Cole^[1].
  • Kicks the dog again on the 10/5/2011 episode of Raw by giving John Cena a Sadistic Choice of either giving his good friend Zack Ryder a chance to each a US Title match or getting a World Title Match himself. When John decides to give Zack the match, Laurinaitis puts Ryder (already worn out from a match against Cena) up against Mark Henry to earn it.
    • And that was after he forced the two to fight to be the number one contender for the their respective title.
  • Later, in January, he hit Mick Foley in the head with a mic after he and Punk pushed him too far.
  • The next week he forces Zack Ryder into a fall count anywhere match with Kane.
  • On the 4/30/2012 episode of Raw, he, along with Lord Tensai and Sakamoto, gangs up on a already-injured John Cena and then starts aiming for Cena's injured arm.
  • After making The Big Show beg and plead to not fire him, he turns around and fires him anyway. The smirk on his face as he fired Show, Show crying sadly...who could support Laurinaitis after that?
    • This move was so horrific that it was considered an In-Universe Moral Event Horizon by Jerry Lawler and John Cena, and even Michael Cole, who had defended and supported everything he'd done before that, didn't make a move to defend it, or Laurinaitis, the rest of the night.
• Moral Event Horizon: Threatening to put Theodore Long's girlfriend in a match with Kane as part of a Sadistic Choice, which he fully intended to go through with! If not that, then he definitely crossed it by forcing Theodore Long to work for him or he'd cut off the college fund of Long's grandchildren.
  • If he didn't cross it then, he definitely did by firing The Big Show for for making fun of his voice after forcing him to get down on his knees and beg for his job, with a smile on his face! Jerry Lawler and John Cena considered it this In-Universe and even Michael Cole seemed genuinely disgusted by this act.
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: He was initially mocked by Triple H and John Cena as an ineffectual yes man to Vince Macmahon that would never get a say in how the business works. Shortly afterwards he gradually used manipulation and background politics to claim the role of GM for both RAW and Smackdown.
  • Used subtlely in the ring. His match with John Cena was a predictable beatdown with Cena humiliating and torturing Laurinaitis in every manner possible. However for a brief moment, he actually gets the upper hand legitimately, laying damage to Cena's arm and handing a few nasty chair shots. He might have been able to keep this up if he hadn't toyed with Cena long enough for him to get a Heroic Second Wind.
• Once Per Episode: He will introduce himself with his ^[2]
• Running Gag: He is usually seen texting on his cell phone backstage.
• Sadistic Choice: Forces John Cena to choose between giving his close friend Zack Ryder a well deserved chance to earn a US Title Shot or getting a World Title Shot himself at TLC.
  • Forced one on Smackdown General Manager Theodore Long by threatening to put his girlfriend in a match against Kane if Long didn't lay down and let himself be pinned by Laurinaitis. Long just lets Randy Orton take out Kane, then pins Laurinaitis.
• Smug Snake: CM Punk also calls him this too.
• Tyrant Takes the Helm: Not at first, but has creeped up very slowly during his run as GM over both Raw and Smackdown.
  • People's Republic of Tyranny: "People Power" - which includes things like shoving your authority down everyone's throat, confiscating signs saying things you don't like, a Propaganda Machine insisting you're as popular as you're actually hated, constantly engaging in both injury and insult, and overall reveling in humiliating employees and competitors for the slightest provocations or merely for being threats to your power - often either enslaving them in everything but name, turning them into your cronies, or simply making their lives as miserable as you can.
• Villainous Breakdown: On the January 16, 2012 edition of WWE Raw, he gets two The Reason You Suck Speechs in a row, the first from CM Punk and then from Mick Foley, CM Punk psychologically dismantling him. Laurinaitis snaps and goes on a massive Motive Rant, finally admitting that he openly hates CM Punk and fully intends to screw him out of the title.
  • And again on the 4/30/12 airing of Raw, after losing his top face for the company, Brock Lesnar, and being made fun of by John Cena, he lashes out on Cena with the help of Lord Tensai and Sakamoto.
  • On the May 14, 2012 episode of Raw, having his plan to rig his match with John Cena in his favor be preemptively shot down by the Board of Directors and it declared that losing will result in him being fired, right after receiving a "The Reason You Suck" Speech from Cena, he snaps and slaps Cena in the face before storming off in a rage.
• Wrestling Family: His brothers Joe (aka Road Warrior Animal) and Marcus are also wrestlers.
  • His nephew (Animal's son), who is 240 pounds of muscle and wouldn't have been terribly out of place in a WWE ring, went to Ohio State to play linebacker instead. He now plays for the St. Louis Rams.
• Yes-Man: Called one by CM Punk.

1. ↑ A tag-team match but still
2. ↑ Executive Vice-President of Talent Relations and General Manager of Raw and Smackdown.