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american soccer players is the ultimate AML mystery and catchphrase. Liam was gone one day and Adam and Marcus were hanging out. Liam got back and noticed they were using the catchphrase "american soccer players" a lot, and asked what it meant. They wouldn't tell him because they were mad at him for not being there to play in the first place. Liam brought it up every couple months, but never was told the true meaning.

Eventually Adam told Liam he would tell him the story behind it after he finished his freshman year of college. Liam failed to meet the deadline, so it was extended to after his sophomore year. On May 9, 2007, it was finally revealed to Liam.


One day around 1998, Marcus and Adam wanted to go ride to Circuit City to buy Super Smash Brothers with Liam. However, when they went to Liam's house, they were informed that he had to go to some obligation (probably a boy scout meeting). They biked to Circuit City, but couldn't find the game. Marcus was so mad that he called his mom to have them picked up. On the way back, they were brainstorming ideas on how to get back at Liam. They decided they should make up a joke that day and then never tell him about it so he would be sad that he missed the chance to hang out with them. While trying to think of a joke, they settled on the topic of Jay Rosen. After thinking for a while, they remembered that Jay liked soccer. Adam told Marcus that Jay had a bumper sticker on his truck that said something about American Soccer. Suddenly, Marcus came up with an idea. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up in the back seat of the van. He yelled "This is how Jay jacks off! (Jay impression) Ohhh... tits. Wait, screw tits... AMERICAN SOCCER PLAYERS!" and started making the jacking off motion.

Adam and Marcus thought that was hilarious and then proceeded to do it around Liam a lot to torment him. For years, Liam was kept in the dark about the catchphrase. One day, on August 31, 2005, Adam made a bet with Liam over AIM. The original bet was that when Liam finished his last final of his freshman year of college (May 12, 2006) and reminded Adam to tell him about it, Adam would tell him what american soccer players means. Liam had until the end of the day (12:00 AM) to remind Adam about the bet.

On May 5, 2006, Liam announced to Adam that his plans were changing. He was going to stay at his parents' new house in Astoria for two days before returning to Clackamas.

bulbaliface(12:29:32 AM): hey i won't be back until may 15
bulbaliface(12:29:36 AM): so american socca playas then
Folex8 (12:29:42 AM): the 15th now?
bulbaliface (12:29:43 AM): i'm going to astoria for a weekend
Folex8 (12:29:45 AM): gotcha
Folex8 (12:29:53 AM): so you can remind me on thed 15?
bulbaliface (12:30:01 AM): nah
bulbaliface (12:30:02 AM): by the 12th

Liam had forgotten he had this conversation with Adam, and mistakenly thought he had to remind him by the 15th. He took his finals as usual on the 12th without mentioning anything about american soccer players. Liam went to Astoria and drove home on the 14th. On the 14th he called Adam up and reminded him about it. Adam called him back at 10:30 PM and told him that the deal was off. Liam had forgot to remind him on the 12th.

Bulbaliface (12:29:41 AM): i'm going to astoria for a weekend
Folex8 (12:29:43 AM): gotcha
Folex8 (12:29:51 AM): so you can remind me on thed 15?
Bulbaliface (12:29:59 AM): nah
Bulbaliface (12:30:00 AM): by the 12th
Bulbaliface: FUCK
Bulbaliface: OH FUCK
Folex8: now what ass
Folex8: NOW WHAT
Bulbaliface: when was the last time i reminded you
Folex8: Looks like you'll have to wait ANOTHER 4 years
Bulbaliface: 1 year
Bulbaliface: make it 1 year
Folex8: fine 1
Folex8: hahahha
Bulbaliface: oh my god
Folex8: 'im lollin so bad right now
Bulbaliface: I can't believe i fucking forgot.
Folex8: you need to update this
Bulbaliface: this isn't fair
Bulbaliface:i was thinking the whole time that i need to remind you by the time ig et home
Bulbaliface: so on the way home i called your phone and left a message
Folex8: Rules are rules
Bulbaliface: I was thinking about it so much but I wasn't clear on the rules. My fault
Bulbaliface: like i never actually thought about reminding you
Bulbaliface: i figured it was enough that i had it in my head
Folex8: The world will never discover what this mystery phrase means.
Bulbaliface: except for in one year when I remind you ON THE DAY of my last final
Folex8: THE DAY
Folex8: So we ar clear
Folex8: you have until 11:59pm
Bulbaliface: yep, anytime during the day should count,
Bulbaliface: yeah from 12 AM to then

On May 9, 2007, Adam finally revealed the secret behind american soccer players.