< Sailor Moon Abridged

Sailor Moon Abridged/Characters


Here is the list of characters in Sailor Moon Abridged.

Heroes (we think)

Serena/Sailor Moon

Voiced By: Megami33

Sorry, Molly, but if I'm not eating I'm leaving.

The Heroine of this story, Serena is a fat, bulimic and stupid young girl. One day she meets a space cat named Luna, and becomes the super-hero Sailor Moon. She tries to use her powers to fight the evil Negaverse, but usually ends up being saved by Tuxedo Mask.

  • Anti-Hero: Type I
  • Big Eater: She is constantly the butt of fat jokes.
  • Blue Eyes
  • Character Development: YES!! Even in a Abridged series like this!!...In season one, Serena took 30 episodes to realize Darien and Tuxedo Mask were the same person, despite receiving her share of obvious hints ("Hmm. He was in a tuxedo with his eyes covered. That's not reminiscent of anyone else I know!"). In the second season, Serena figured out the Moonlight Knight was really Darien right when he first saved her, simply because he threw a white rose. (It's possible she also noticed his eyes looked similar to Darien's.)
  • Cloudcuckoolander: She has her moments. "No, a small rabbit just appeared next to my head!"
  • The Ditz
  • Dumb Blonde
  • Extreme Omnivore: Serena's digestive system does not discriminate. She has expressed the desire to eat, among other things, diamonds, wristwatches, that dust defeated monsters crumble to, and a small child.

It wasn't dust, It was powdered sugar!

    • She refused to eat "complimentary soap" once, though.
  • Food Porn: Serena has a very romantic dream.

Tuxedo Mask: Hey Serena. Lets go get an ice cream sundae. With LOTS of preservatives...
Serena: Oh, that's so romantic!

"Oh, *honk* you, SMA!"

      • Movie (and Season 2 Episode 45 - Present): "Candy Store" by Hyper Crush;
      • Disguise Pen - "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake.
  • Let's Get Dangerous: "Did someone say pizza?!
  • Noodle Incident: The pool party mishap that ruined Serena's bathing suit.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: In episode 41. Turns out Serena didn't lose all her memories, she was just pretending to not remember because "this Sailor Moon gig sucks!"
  • Odango
  • Orgasmically Delicious: Serena once orgasmed while eating donuts with creme filling. She might have also had a smaller one while licking an ice cream cone.
  • Running Gag: Serena's bulimia and obesity. When she is Princess Serena, she constantly mentions her pizza she never got.
Amy/Sailor Mercury

Voiced By: KrisRix (Main SMA Series), Megami33 (Remix Episode)

You guys never listen to me anyway!

The Smart Girl (at first). Amy is a Shy Blue-Haired Girl who becomes Sailor Mercury after an incident with the Negaverse.

  • Blessed with Suck: Constantly lampshaded every time Amy uses her totally useless power.
    • Even Amy was surprised after the one time it actually did something useful.
  • Berserk Button: Don't hurt children while you're around Amy.
  • Captain Obvious: --->(while trapped in Malachite's dome)
    Amy: Wait a second guys! I just realized that he was using a fake Sailor Scout to trick us!
    Raye: YOU'RE *honk*ING BRILLIANT, AMY!
    Serena: And you guys think I'm the stupid one!
  • Catch Phrase: Amy's "Aww" whenever she's disappointed.
  • Characterisation Marches On: She was a shy, quiet and intelligent girl in the first couple of episodes, like she was in the actual Sailor Moon show, but eventually became an annoying dumbass who constantly states the obvious.
  • The Chick: Referred to as "the useless girl".
  • Curtains Match the Window: And if what Raye said in Episode 50 is anything to go by, it also matches the carpet.
  • The Ditz: They protray her that sometimes just for fun.
  • Leitmotif: Amy's first transformation sequence, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice.
      • SMA Remix: "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65;
      • Movie (and Season 2): "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3.
  • The Load: Constantly lampshaded by the other members of the team and by Nephlite at one point.
    • When a group from the Negaverse attacks, and one of these Negaversers ends up being laughably ineffective, Sailor Moon quips, "You must be the Mercury of the group."
  • Pokémon-Speak: Amy got this exclusively for the remix episode, saying nothing but "Blue!"
  • Running Gag: No one ever hears her.
  • Shy Blue-Haired Girl: Well at the start, at least.
  • The Smart Girl: At first.
  • Tareme Eyes
  • Took a Level In Dumbass: Amy starts out as a genius nerd who thinks too much, more of a Straight Man to Serena's idiocy, whose main shtick is that her voice is such a whisper that no-one can hear her and her powers are useless in combat. As the series goes on she gets increasingly stupid (especially when Lita joins and becomes the Straight Man), usually invoking Captain Obvious and her voice is replaced by a grating falsetto.
  • Useless Useful Spell: Mercury's "Useless Attack Blast". Mercilessly Lampshaded - the one or two times it actually accomplished something, no one could believe it.
    • More often, it just ends up obscuring vision, negatively affecting everyone. And when it's used during the flashback to the attack on the moon kingdom:

Crowd: I can't see anything! Where's the exit? All this fog - we're gonna die!
Raye: MARS FIRE IGNITE!
Amy: Mars, why did you light them on fire?!
Raye: I CAN'T SEE!

Raye/Sailor Mars

Voiced By: KrisRix

''I LOVE THE SCREAMS OF CHILDREN!!!''

A violent, masochistic emo/punk/satanist, Raye is Sailor Mars.

Amy: Out of all the things you done, Raye, this is the most *honk*ed up.

Lita/Leo/Sailor Jupiter

Voiced By: Roll002 (Episodes 21 - 24/25, 28 - Present), Judgement915 (Episode 26/27)

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that we take orders from a talking cat?

The Big Girl (or guy, whatever).

Lita: Zeus! Why have you forsaken me, homey?!

Mina/Sailor Venus

Voiced By: KrisRix

I am, like, so totally happy to meet you guys. Like, whoa, aren't you guys happy to meet me? Like, you should totally be happy to meet me.

The last member to join the group. The best way to describe her is if Paris Hilton was a Super-heroine.

Mina: Oh. My. God, it's Tuxedo Mask!
Raye: WOW. THANKS, VENUS. HELPFUL. REALLY.

    • Lampshaded Episode 31:

Mina: I, like, point out the obvious over and over again!

  • The Chick
  • The Ditz: See a pattern here?
  • Dumb Blonde
  • Everything'sBetterWithSparkles: "Well I was looking at this bug and its wings were all, like, iridescent, and it reminded me of glitter and I *honk*ing love glitter! I wish I like, PISSED glitter!!"
  • Global Ignorance: During the opening of Promise of the Lost Rose, Mina mistakes the Tokyo Tower for the Eiffel Tower, remarks that she thought the Eiffel Tower was from New Zealand, and asks if she and the other Sailor Scouts live in Korea.
  • Hair of Gold

Mina: Helloooo! Like, look at my flowing, long locks! Aren't you excited? Guys, you don't look excited, you should TOTALLY be excited!

  • Hot Wind: Provides the quote for the trope.
  • Pig-ay Latin-ay: Mina-ay is not clear-ay on the concept-ay.
  • Leitmotif: Her first transformation sequence(only used once), "Wanna Do Your Makeup" by Scotty Vanity.
    • SMA Remix: "Venus" by Bananarama;
      • Movie (and Season 2): "LoveGame" by Lady Gaga.
  • Really Gets Around
  • Running Gag: Mentioning her promiscuity. Also, she can never remember the name of her attack.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: She qualifies as this.

Mina: There's tentacles everywhere! It's like a dream come true!

    • And when they join forces:

Mina: This isn't what being molested feels like!
Raye: THIS IS EVEN BETTER!

Luna

Voiced By: Megami33

I can't take it anymore! All the girl talks about is food, food, food!

Serena's long-suffering cat mentor.

  • Ass Shove: All those devices the scouts get (transformation pens, Serena's locket, the communicators, etc) are kept in Luna's butt until needed. Or until she manages to finally poop them out.
  • Deadpan Snarker
  • Fake Brit
  • Liz Lemon Job
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Luna's reaction after succumbing to Artemis' advances, and two seasons later when Diana shows up.
  • Never Live It Down: In-universe, the Sailors needed a few episodes to start trusting Luna's hunches about evil activities again after her hunch about Amy working for the Negaverse became disproved.
  • Only Sane Man
  • Sarcastic Devotee: To all the scouts, but especially to Serena.
Artemis

Voiced By: Judgement915

Mina's Australian drunk cat mentor.

  • The Alcoholic: Artemis is always drunk, and tries to justify making an early start on his boozing as compensating for the time zone difference for Australia's happy hour.
  • Australian Accent: He has a nearly incomprehensible one.
  • Captain Obvious: --->Artemis: Wait a second... wait... wait... Wait a second.
    Amy: What is it?
    Artemis: I... am a cat!
    Mina: Shut Up!
    Raye: CAN WE TALK SHIT ABOUT MINA AND ARTEMIS, TOO?!
    Mina: Sure, we won't notice. Giggle!
  • The Unintelligible: when he's being particularly drunk.
Darien/Tuxedo Mask

Voiced By: MaxSkate2001 (Episodes 1-3, 6-12, 15/16, 17, 19-22, 24/25, 26/27 & 29), Roll002 (Episodes 4, 5, 13/14, 18, 23, 28, & 30-43), EvilChicken25 (Episodes 44 - Present)

Jesus, those girls make me want to actually jump off a cliff.

Serena's love interest, rescuer, and constant source of annoyance.

Molly

Voiced By: KrisRix

Wow, what a weird dream! It never gets old — waking up in a random place with comatose bodies all around me.

Serena's Muggle Best Friend who has a thick Brooklyn accent and usually serves as rescue fodder.

Andrew

Voiced By: KrisRix (Main Series), Judgement915 (Real Voice)

Villains

Queen Beryl

Voiced By: KrisRix

You don't bring me the crystal but you bring me an unconscious teenage boy?!! Wait, I have an unconscious teenage boy? Ohh...

The main antagonist of the first season. Has an obsession with hot teenage boys, Kelly Clarkson songs, and the internet.

Queen Beryl: Says you!!!


Jedite

Voiced By: Roll002

These charms are now infused with the Negaverse, now with 33% more evil essence!

Nephlite

Voiced By: Roll002 (Main Series), KrisRix (Remix Episode)

Everything is ruled by the stars. The movement of the stars rules everything. The ruling of everything is by the stars. Those stars? They rule.

Zoicite

Voiced By: KrisRix (Main Series), Judgement915 (Remix Episode)

Here's my crystals. Now, you show me yours. Your crystals, I mean!

Malachite

Voiced By: Whip0fAlchemy (Main Series), Megami33 (Remix Episode)

They deserved it. They weren't wearing their mittens! And also, they called me a fag.

Fiore

Voiced By: Judgement915

TEN YEARS, DARIEN!

The villain of the SMA movie.

En (Ann)

Voiced By: KrisRix

The sister of Al. Along with Al, she pretends to be a transfer student from Soviet Russia in order to gather energy for their tree.

Anne: Alan, you fool! You cannot do those things! I am your only lover! How can you possibly find those humans attractive! *Sees Darien reading* I would never find some male, attractive, tall, dark and handsome...with his books...and his purple pants...*gasp* What a babe! He's PERFECT!

Al (Alan)

Voiced By: Judgement915

Anne: It seems to have no more energy.
Alan: Well, with our cardians/guardians, that can be easily erectified.
Anne: I don't think that's the right word.

    • Also this one:

Alan: As the humans say, I would not hold my dick about it.
Anne: No, you mean breath. Hold your breath.
Alan: Why would I hold my breath if I can hold my dick?

  1. ↑ while dressed as Tuxedo Mask
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