< Proton Jon

Proton Jon/Funny

/wiki/Proton Joncreator

This is a page for funny moments from Proton Jon's videos on his own channel. For funny Runaway Guys moments, see the Runaway Guys page.

From his Kaizo Mario World LP

Jon: ...oh, what?!... WHAT?! WHAAAT?! ...What the fuck? What the fuck? What...the...fuck? What the...(bursts into tears) Are you serious?!
(silence, as Jon calms himself)
Jon: Maybe I imagined that...
(Reloads save-state, which shows Mario dying via Kaizo Trap...again.)
Jon: (distraught) Oh FUCK I didn't imagine that!

  • "Alright, what have we got? We got -- a hundred seconds?! Oh, mother fuck, this is not gonna be good!"
  • "I'm not sleeping tonight, guys; this is my nightmare sound."
  • "Move faster, Pokey! Faster! FASTER! For the love of God, Faster!"
  • "Jump! Jump you... fuckin' football player! MEGAMAN! JUMP MEGAMAN!"
  • "Catch. *dies* Catch. *dies* Catch. *dies* Ca.. don't catch death! Stop catching death!"
  • "For the love of Batman. JUMP!"
    • "BILL COSBY! IS ANGRY! STIMPY! I NEED... SPACKLE!"
  • "Not gonna mess up. Not gonna fuck this up." *dies, loads state* "You didn't see that."
  • "Drillstomp!...360!...Kickflip McTwist!...Christ Air!...900!...I'm already out of Tony Hawk moves."
  • "Go, go, go, go, Mario! I'm-a Mario!"
  • From his playthrough of Special Stage 4: No matter how many times we've seen it, it still never gets old.
    • "OH WHAT THE HELLL!?!?!?!?!?" (After making it across three Thwomps and something crushes him out of nowhere.)
      • Even before that: "Hop. Slight hop. Mega hop!" *Dies* "Sliiight -" *Dies* "Sliight - Mega Man!" (succeeds) "Did it."
    • And when the mid-level save drops him into a pit.

WHA.A.A.T???

    • "HOLY FUCK!!!"
    • "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudgeicles!"

From some of his other Super Mario World ROM Hack LPs

"No! You know my feelings on those!"
"AWWWWW, that's not cool, that is not kosher... in fact it is very anti-kosher, like eating a pig...raw."
"No, no, stop it, STOP IT."
"YOU SON OF A BI-...okay, that was kinda funny..."

Jon: Eenie-meenie-run-away!
Would you stop raining--! It does not rain football players in Mario Land! I don't care what you think!
Alright! I think we're good. I hope we're good. We're not good! [[[Beat]]] Okay, now we're good.

I'd better stop complaining and start running...

Jon: [Through laughter] That's just stupid!

From Knytt Stories

  • In his first playthrough of "Don't Eat the Mushroom", he didn't eat the mushroom, and the game ended in the most anticlimactic fashion imaginable...

Jon: Well, I guess I have no choice, I guess I have to eat the mushroom. Oh, wow. Imagine that. Imagine that; you have to do something the game tells us not to do. That's incredible, that's amazing, that's -- mushroom! (eats mushroom) ...huh? ...huh? That... that did nothing. Aw, it's not gonna be some stupid psychedelic Freak-Out, is it? Like, I'm not gonna talk to her and she's gonna eat my head or something?

(He walks forward a little bit... and then the background abruptly switches to The Burger King standing against a field of fire while "What Is Love?" begins to play on infinite loop, completely surprising Jon)

Jon: AUGH! (gasps) Fuck!

    • "Does doing drugs actually do this? I -- I'm gonna need to check this, 'cause if I took a hit of acid and suddenly saw The Burger King on fire singing "What is Love," I'd be amazed."
  • "I got the "I Forget" move. HOORAY!"
  • "WHA!!! Fuck."
  • "Yes! More! More Jim Carrey!"
  • "Probably shouldn't have eaten that mushroom. Oh you..."
  • "I am climbing myself. What the hell?"
  • "WHO MADE THIS THING?!"
  • "Aww, Internet Explorer? 6?! Oh, no wait, it's 7, never mind."
  • "It's nice and atmospheric, especially later o --" *falls into water* "...fuck."

From his Super Smash Bros. videos

  • "NOW I'LL SHOW YOU!"
    • "NO YOU WILL NOT!"
    • "I DON'T WANT YOU TO SHOW ME ANYTHING!"
  • The ending to the first video.

Ashley: How many times did I say "You're holding a bomb!"?

  • "GYNECOLOGY STAB!!!"
  • "THE KNEE"
    • The last few seconds of that same match. It has to be seen to be believed!
  • "AHHH! I'M STUCK!" (Goes in reverse and falls off the stage)
  • "No nines!" (Get's hit by a nine from Game N' Watch) "SONOFABITCH!"
    • "YES NINES!"
    • The following:

Jon: You weren't playing with Chris and everyone else when all they did was team up three Game & Watches on a--
(Jon gets hit with a 9 from the giant Lu Bu)
Jon: MARIO!!!
Lu Bu: THERE WE GO! That was a giant 9!

  • "Oh, God! Jill is the Anti-Dee!"
  • "This call is being recorded." What makes it is how Rodney (Azura) can't stop laughing.

From his playthrough of a custom Deal or No Deal game, with his roommate Kelekin

  • It bears mention that even the introduction has its own Crowning Moment...

Jon: We have... Hepatitis A-G. I forgot that was there. Uh...
(Cue Censor Box with the text: "This part of the commentary deleted because Jon was an idiot and forgot he was recording")
Kelekin: Anyways!
Jon: Moving on! We have a... one year supply of Gonorrhea. God damn it.

Game narration: That round was not in your favor.
Jon: How was it not in my favor?
Kelekin: He recognizes the benefits of them being used!

    • The 'Bad Mario Rom Hack' versus the used condoms was worth a chuckle, too:

Kelekin: Seriously, though, if you had to choose between a romhack -- a bad romhack -- and a package of used condoms? I think that's quite the toss-up.

Jon: I'm not answering that question at all!

Kelekin: Thought I'd try.

  • "You are useless, Carmen!"
    • "You're useless too... and you're a prick!"
      • And at the last choice:

2nd Helper: [completely blank]
 Jon: ......WOW!
Kelekin: She's speechless!
Jon: I think she had a stroke! That's why she is holding her head. [...]
Kelekin: Somebody should call 911. [...] She's telepatically calling 911.
Jon: I'm summoning 911 right now.

  • Jon's reaction to the second offer is priceless, too:

Game text: Suggested offer: Sponge Bath from Mom.
Jon: Eugh!

Kelekin: You know, I think that's a good suggestion.

Jon: Nonono! Change it! Change it! I hate you!

Kelekin: Hypothetical mom wants to give you a sponge bath.

Jon: Hypothetical mom can hypothetically go away.

From Superman 64

  • The glitches, over 30 of them listed in Jon's Let's Play of the game.
    • Glitch 22 especially. (It's in Stage 4, around the 16 minute mark.) Reiko Kazama actually had to pause the video and go get a drink because I was laughing too hard. I even took a snapshot of it and showed my mum and dad.
      • Stage 6 adds a whopping 27 glitches to the count (including one during the pre-level cutscene), bringing the total up to 58.
  • Getting shot to heal yourself.
  • "And now apparently I can't walk up the stairs. Superman, walk up the stairs. Stop jumping like a pony and walk up the stairs. Don't jump over the stairs! Thank you. -- Fly, Superman, into that wall!"
  • "Let's show off our lovely hero's face ... AND THEN HIS CHEST!"
  • "WOW. DUUUUDE!"
  • Kidnappable Babies: Infinite

Jon: And I am... walking in mid-air. [Silence] Thank you, game. Thank you. The only problem with [kidnapping babies] is if I press B to fly, I can't.... Okay. That's new. [Starts flying] Oh, whoa! That... didn't work last time!

    • Then when Jon realises exactly what he's done ...

Jon: "Ah, shit, now I have to do this all over again."
Superman: "Then there's no time to waste."
Jon: "Fuck."

  • Random Asshole Comment: 1
  • At the end of the dam stage:

Jon: Now I want everyone to just kinda sit back, relax, and enjoy this well earned victory. Do you know why?
A mine robot flies by and kills Superman

Jon: Because it didn't really happen.

  • One of the comments on the first part of the Stage three video:

"Nice biography on Titus, but you forgot the part where the Caen brothers died tragically when they accidentally glitched through the floor."

  • "For now, let's enjoy the third ride while we have it... in glorious Squint-o-vision..."
  • "I... I smile and nod. It's Gameboy logic."
  • "Mala is from the planet Krypton-- same as Superman-- which means she has the exact same powers as Superman... which, thankfully, in this game means absolutely nothing."
    • The better humour is in what is stated silently:

Subtitles: "Super Powers in Game: She can punch things."

Jon: There's the water-- [[[Beat]]] and we fell through the water. This is Superman's innards, incase you were wondering what the Man of Steel looked like inside. There's the water. There's us falling through it. Aaaaaand any second now, I'm gonna break the game. [This happens] Yup. Isn't this game great, folks?

    • In a similar vein, he screws himself over in a later mission by taking us on an actual tour. Of water and fog.

Jon: So I guess we'll take what little time we have left and explore the vast... ocean... of Metropolis. Where the hell are all the buildings? [[[Beat]]] Okay. So this is Metropolis, apparently Aquaman hangs out here... there's the water. Fog under the water. Believable... I guess. Except for those triangles. You can-- [starts laughing] see the walls! You can see the boundaries of Metropolis!

  • "Aren't you glad I decided to show this to you guys? 'Go ahead, play Superman, it'll be great! You'll love it! Oh, you'll have fun playing it!'"
  • "Damn his hoola-hoop plans!"
  • Jon's explanation of how he came across a Superman 64 strategy guide.

Jon: You probably can't find [a copy of the Superman strategy guide] unless you look online or you know some very deranged people... and I do.
Subtitle: Thanks, Dan.

    • "I know more about this game than the guide does, which is really depressing... and makes it hard to sleep at night."
  • Jon walks into the Braniac boss room, collects health... and hears glass shatter. He immediately starts laughing.

Jon: [Through laughter] What the fuck was that?

  • "Each piece of paper-- which magically disappears after you've read it, because apparently you've put it in your Superpocket or some other... where are the pockets on S-- I don't even want to know where Superman has pockets."
  • Jon hamming it up during his bio of Lex Luthor.

Jon: In fact, one time, when no one was looking, Lex Luthor stole forty cakes. I know! He took forty cakes! That's as much as four tens! And That's Terrible.
Subtitle: Much like this joke.

  • Jon getting distracted by the map of the world in Stage 4.

Jon: I swear, that map is straight out of Golden Eye 1997! Maybe a different color, but that map looks straight out of it.

[Screen switches to a comparison]

Subtitle: I was thinking of Control, not Bunker 2. Also, they don't look the same at all.

Jon: [As the game resumes] Then again, it was just a map of the world, so I could be imagining it.

[Screen switches back to the comparison]

Subtitle: You totally were.

  • "That was not a boss fight. Not by any stretch of the imagination. He walked into my fist."
  • "Oh no, I pushed him through the wrong part of the floor... ...that's a phrase I never thought I'd say."
    • "Is that forklift humping that robot!?"

"Never Thought I'd Say That" Count: 2

  • "The conveyorbelt still moves and...oh, that robot still move-- what is that robot doing? Stop doing that to Superma-- what are you doing? God, Superman is that robot! Oh no!"
  • "Now, for some reason, it's not doing it anymore, but-- Superman, why are you humping the sky? Superman, why are you humping the floor? Get up! That's wrong! Get-- there we go..."
    • "... He wasn't getting up for a second, I was getting concerned. Uh, w-well he was getting up but... ah-hem..."
  • "Let's get shot at and get hit in the underpants... double whammy right there..."
  • "Raise the roof, Superman! ...although I just threw it... So now we'll just steal some lights off the ceiling instead... which are also explosive. Of course. Okay, that one actually kind of makes sense."
  • "I have to get out of here super fast... oh, I see what I did there..."
  • Jon's reaction to one of Superman's freakouts.

Jon: Now if you remember-- [Superman glitches] ...the dance button.

  • "Hi Lois! Get out of the way, I need to save Lois."
  • When doing Metallo's bio, Jon describes him as being as somewhat forgettable compared to the other bosses in the game, and then gives examples of what makes the other bosses interesting. Said examples? Mala has "A Winning Personality" and Lex Luthor "Spends Entire Level In A Tube".


From Mario Kart Wii

  • (Jon gets a Thundercloud while chasing down Chris in the final seconds of the race)

Chris: Aww, no, no!

Jon: C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon! Hey, Chris! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (last-second pass)

  • Near the end of a different race, upon being informed of a blue shell headed his way:

Jon: Wait, seriously? (alarm) Shit, no, no, no, no, (boom) nooo! (Jon places 2nd) DAMMIT!


From the Battletoads Race versus SuperJeenius, PCULL44444, and NintendoCapriSun

  • At one point, Jon says he's gonna make mock-achievements in editing, highlighting some of the more gameplay-oriented and off-kilter moments throughout the race. Right off the bat:

Jeenius: Aw, shit...

'Achievement Unlocked: Language, young man!' First to curse in the race.

  • The two "Fuck you sound barrier!" achievement moments.
    • Moment 1 (PCULL44444):

PCULL: NOOOOOO!!!

Jeenius: I don't know what that was but it must've been good.

    • Moment 2 (SuperJeenius):

Jeenius: And we go right here. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

NCS: Holy crap...

Jeenius: I was right there! I was right --- Fuck!

      • And then, the followup:

Jeenius: (After finding out that he's stuck in last, and then dying again.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
'Achievement Unlocked: Animorphs': I think he's part cat now...
Jon: Holy crap, who just broke the sound barrier?

  • The fact that there are achievements done almost in Minecraft style (the box and text).
  • Jeenius loves snakes.
  • Jeenius' reaction to finally clearing the Snake Level (after missing the warp that everyone else had used to skip two levels ahead).

Jeenius: Yes! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! Thank God! Ahhhh! VOLKMIRE[1] SUCK MY BALLS, I'M ON YOU!

'Achievement Unlocked: Ladies?' He's quite the charmer.

(Long, awkward silence)

Nintendo Capri Sun: ...wow.

    • Speaking of the snakes...

Pcull: I live a blessed life of Battletoads failure!

Jeenius: I live a blessed life of I'm-Not-On-Snakes-Anymore!

    • The snakes return in achievement form several episodes in.

Jeenius: Sprint never should have been implemented in this game. That is the single one thing that kills me.
'Achievement Unlocked: I Thought It Was Snakes?' You were thinking it too

  • In Episode 3, Scatman Pcull, and everyone's baffled, but amazed, reactions. Which leads into a discussion about what happens when you remix a remix.
  • Earlier in the same episode, when Pcull is complaining about the ducks turning around, NCS asks, "What are they, Christian?" This actually gets an achievement, with Bible verse citations in it, no less!
  • Pcull's random swearing is always good for a laugh. "HOLY BALLS MONKEY SACK ASS MONKEY!"
  • The predictable (and abundant) jokes about the game itself.

Pcull: Fuck. Shitty tits ass mother...fuck. (Beat) Piss.
Jeenius: Yeah! What Patrick said!
Jon: Yeah, that's a good rebuttal. I agree. As a counter-argument: Battletoads.

    • Further in we get:

Pcull: I'm not gonna say it's a bad idea, I'm just gonna say it hurts my soul.
Jeenius: Oh, that's just -- that's what Battletoads does, man.
Jon: Yeah. All's fair in love and Battletoads.

      • Speaking of love and Battletoads...

Jeenius: Water wheels, it is time to put yourself inside of me.

Pcull: (Beat) What.

Jon: I don't think that's how Battletoads works.

Jeenius: The cartridge works that way...

    • And the obligatory achievement:

'Achievement Unlocked: Life Imitates Battletoads': Hurt yourself in real life

NCS: [After a long silence, walks up to an enemy] Just kill me.

  • This exchange:

Pcull: NO! THE. GAS.

NCS: The gas? Oh I can help you with that, maybe.

Jeenius: Oh, Tim. No Tim. I think he has plenty.

Pcull: If your gas kills me I'll lose my infinite lives.

  • Pcull makes his move (Around 2:50 in Part 2):

Pcull: Okay, game face. Game face. I got this! NONONO! I DON'T GOT THIS! I DON'T GOT THIS.

Jeenius: Patrick never had this.

Jon: Got cocky, didn't you?

Pcull: No, I didn't get cocky... I got hopeful.

'Achievement Unlocked: Hope Rides Alone:' You don't got this

  • The response Jon gets to "Are you okay?"

Jeenius: NO!
NCS: Shit. Man...
Jeenius: Save me, mommy!

  • Pcull's amazement at actually getting to a boss.

Pcull: Oh my god, I'm at a boss. WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo?
Jon: You kill it!

  • The moment this starts up, you just know what's coming:

Pcull: I was doing alright and then the sharks started killing me and then I dodged him and he's chasing me and he's making me sad, but I'm going through this thing quickly now... and it's gonna make me die on these spikes down here -- SHIT!

'Achievement Unlocked: Called it': Narrated your own death

Jeenius: I forgot it was there so I jumped over the pit and it landed on my head as I was over the pit.
Pcull: You did not just jump me over the pit.

NCS: Wonderful.

  • The group bursting into song on episode 4. Especially Jeenius singing a modified version of "We Are The Champions" with Jon soon joining for a duet (and NCS trying to join in at the end).

'Achievement Unlocked: Conga Line Karaoke': Everyone sings your song

  • Episode 5, Jon:

End of stage muthafuckas! *Dies* NOOOOO!

    • Don't know if it's worth mentioning, but the same thing happened to Tim in another Battletoads race.) The reaction is worth watching.
  • One of the achievements in episode 5 came from a Cluster F-Bomb.

Jeenius: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
'Achievement Unlocked: Fuck:' Fuck

  • Jon's reaction to Pcull gaining the lead:

Pcull: I gave [the ball] too much leeway and now I'm screwed. (Beat) Holy shit.

'Achievement Unlocked: There's Your Blue Shell!': Take the lead.

Pcull: Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit...

Jon: What?

Pcull: I'm at the boss.

Jon: Oh fuck you.

    • Similarly, when he regains the lead in the next level...

Jon: So is it the first cloud that you're having problems with, Patrick?
Pcull: Yeah, the green one.
Jon: Okay, cool, 'cause I just killed it.
'Achievement Unlocked: Wow.' This guy sounds like a dick.
Jeenius: What an asshole...

[seconds later, Jon dies]

Jon: Oh, what? Oh, thank God, it's a checkpoint.

'Achievement Unlocked: I'll take that back...': Take back the lead.

  • The way NCS earns 'What Does This Thing Do?'. He's dead silent as he reaches the bomb in Rat Race, stands next to and stares at the bomb, and then gets blown up.

'Achievement Unlocked: What Does this Thing Do?:' Just stare at the bomb.
NCS: [After several seconds] Oh, was I supposed to get it first?

    • While we're on the subject, NCS's unforeseen declaration of entertainment.

NCS: This rat level's fun -- I'm likin' it!
Jon: Really? I've never heard anyone say they've enjoyed Rat Race.
'Achievement Unlocked: Stockholm Syndrome': Battletoads broke him

NCS: Dude! Stupid gas things! Quit farting in my face!

Pcull: You like it, Tim. Don't deny it.

NCS: (Distractedly) Yeah, I s'pose...

[Jon starts laughing]

Pcull: I KNEW IT!

  • Episode 5 gives us the latest in the long line of Pcull's Hope Spots.

Pcull: Check point, please? Check point my buns? Check point on my buns?
Jon: Kill yourself and check!

Pcull: This has got to be a check point. There's, like, a cloud that's blowing on me...

Jon: Yeah, you got that check point by then.

Pcull: (dies) Okay, I'm dead... so... I hope it's a check point. (Respawns) Aaaaand.... it's not! It's not.

Jon: Really?

[Pcull dissolves into laughter]

Pcull: NO! I hit you, you dirty slut!
Jeenius: It's not nice to hit sluts. Sluts are women too.

'Achievement Unlocked: Girl Power!': He's got your back ladies

[Relative silence]

Jon: It's no wonder you're single.

  • The singing makes a triumphant return and Pcull puts his foot in his mouth.

Pcull: (Singing) I can't talk 'cause I'm concentrating. I keep dying 'cause I am... masturbating...

'Achievement Unlocked: Too Much Information!': Too many Good Vibrations

  • Battletoads is indestructible.

Jeenius: There are no words.
Jon: No words can destroy Battletoads. Except Battletoads.
Pcull: Fuck.
Jon: That too.

  • There's one segment where NCS is at the end of the Terror Tubes and everybody goes silent as he narrates his thought process. Naturally, it ends poorly.

NCS: Here we go, here we go -- to the right. That's right. Now to the left again. That's right. Now to the right. That's right. Now to the left again. That's right. Now to the right -- (lands on spikes) WHAT?
[Beat, everybody else starts laughing]
Jon: I take it it didn't go according to plan.

NCS: Crap.

  • SuperJeenius's identity crisis in the face of non-Battletoads conversation.

Jeenius: Argh, people are chatting in IRC and I want to chat with them, but I can't cause I'm Battletoads!
Jon: Cause you are Battletoads.
Jeenius: I am Battletoads.
Jon: You have become the game.

Pcull: The only way you can win, is you become the game.

Jeenius: Exactly. Patrick understands!

    • Shortly after that, Jon offers an interesting insight into his values.

Jeenius: You know that friend who's never on skype, and then he's on skype but you can't talk to him because you're... busy playing Battletoads?

Jon: I think that's a legitimate reason not to talk to someone. 'I'm sorry, I'm playing Battletoads, you'll have to come back later.'

NCS: Jeeze, what was that? I was killing you and then you killed me.
Pcull: You're not allowed to kill me when I'm killing you!

Pcull: Oooohhhhhdodododododododiediediediedie!
Jon: That's it. You told that thing.

  • Pcull asks the question that's been on everybody's mind.

Pcull: Why are we doing this? I still don't really know...

  • Before the check point meltdown, Jon 'reminisces'.

Jon: (As an old man) Back in my day we didn't have checkpoints!

Pcull: (Beat) I believe that.

  • In Episode 1, SuperJeenius was having enough trouble in the Turbo Tunnel already. He did not appreciate Pcull making incoherent noises to distract him.

Jon: (Bursts into laughter)
Jeenius: (hits a wall and dies) Fuck you, Patrick, I'm trying to pay attention here!
PCULL44444: (makes more gibberish noises)
Jeenius: (after dying a third time in the same sequence and laughing) Fucking Patrick, I'm gonna kill you!

    • Even funnier is the achievement that goes with it at about 10:40

Pcull: (incoherent gibberish) gablabahdah Nostalgia Critic ablabldahb

'Achievement Unlocked: Perfect Imitation': Someone's getting hatemail

  • Everyone finally finds something they can agree on.

Pcull: For serious.
Jeenius: For real-sies. For -- FUUUUUCK!
Jon: I agree.
Jeenius: And that's all I have to say about that.

  • The ultimate gas-related award:

'Achievement Unlocked: The Timothy Bishop Award': Die 30 times to the gas

Jeenius: No! No! No! No! Fucking no!
Jon: [[[Beat]]] Tell us what you really think.
Jeenius: NOOOO!

Jon: ...okay.

'Achievement Unlocked: Well...': At least he's honest.

Pcull: Alright. I've got a stick! Now I have The Stick of Happiness!
Jon: Now you might stand a good chance.

Pcull: Annnnd I died.

Jeenius: Or not.

Jon: You've gotta stay alive, too. That's the other trick.

  • SuperJeenius's lesson in give-and-take.

Jeenius: No. You give Battletoads an inch, it takes your asshole.
[Silence]
Pcull: I don't want my asshole taken.
Jeenius: Exactly! Don't give Battletoads an inch!

Pcull: NO! He went behind me and then rammed me in the butt -- that's what she said.

  • 'This game stops sobriety...'

Jon: Times like this, I wish I drank...

  • SuperJeenius's mind wanders late into the run.

Jeenius: I really wish Battletoads was porn right now.
Pcull: ...what.

Pcull: Is this how the Runaway Guys feel?
Jon: Yeah. Pretty much.

  • Interestingly, Pcull manages to come up with a Face Palm related misstep, mirroring another of Jon's collaborations.[2]

Pcull: I wish I could facepalm Battletoads in the face...

  • We go around the world in fifteen seconds.

Pcull: Oiiiii, Isakku! Nan da miriya.

Jeenius: Sacrebleu!

Jon: That is not the same language, sir.

Pcull: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Jon: Neither is that.

  • Everyone takes a trip to the world of anime.

Jeenius: You can still do this, Tim. I have faith in you. Much more than I have faith in me.

Jon: But aren't you supposed to believe in you who believes in me?

Pcull: [Begins singing] You teach you and I'll teach me!

Jon: [In the background] That's not how it works!

Jeenius: [In tune] I'll kill you! You son of a bitch! S-T-Ds!

  • SuperJeenius's mind is still in the gutter.

Jon: Battletoads is not supposed to be this seductive, sir.

Jeenius: Yes it is, sir!

  • NCS just abandoning the game to look something up on Google Chrome. His toad dies over and over while he's away.
    • Shortly after that...

Jon: I think Tim's fallen asleep. I can hear him -- sounds like he's snoring.
NCS: No, I'm still here. I'm just... watching something.
Pcull: Are you watching a guide?
Jon: He's actually replaced his run with a speedrun.

  • SuperJeenius manages to glitch out the game and get his toad walking on water near the end of one segment in the Absurdly Spacious Sewer level. Repeatedly. He barely seems to notice, but the achievements take note. Somehow, Jeenius' obliviousness makes it more amusing.
  • "Hello, this is Patrick!"

From Mario's Early Years, with his (now former) roommate Kelekin

  • The "robot child" narrator.
  • In Fun with Letters, the pair head off to "Sentence Land," which allows for the player to pick random words and have the "robot child" narrator read them out, Mad Libs-style. They have a lot more fun creating completely random and nonsensical sentences than they do actually doing what the game actually wants them to do, like "The jet is wet" and "Ran ran away."

Robot child: LuIgI iS iN tHe BaG!
Kelekin: Apparently we're actually now in Idiom World.

Youtube comment from DMAN123223: Peach held her big CUPS while Mario put his MOP in Peach's wet BAG.

    • Actually, almost all of Sentence Land is gold.

Jon: The bug is on the...
Jon and Kelekin: BUG!

Jon: Maybe we should leave this room...
Kelekin: Apparently we reached Inappropriate World.
...
Jon: The princess has a big what? Do you wanna answer this?
Kelekin: [Silence] I think it's the lid.

    • The noises that Jon dissolves into after a little too long in Sentence World.
  • In "Preschool Fun," in Body World, they discover that they can click on the sun. Which... does a suggestive eyebrow wiggle at them.

Jon: Oh god! OH god, it's winking at us! Suggestive sun! No!
Kelekin: He's like, [seductively] "Hey kids..."
Jon: [in a creepy voice] Hey kids!
Kelekin: You like the heat?
Jon: Want to watch Mario take off his suspenders?
Kelekin: I don't want to go to Body World anymore!

  • Later on, Kelekin admits to playing along with Body World's instructions, like "clap your hands" and "Wiggle your nose."
  • The very first part of Fun with Letters, when they start fooling around with the games' intentions.

Game: You found a fish that starts with F. F.
[Jon and Kelekin start laughing]
Kelekin: F! F!
Jon: Fu! Fu! Q.

  • Anything that has to do with 'Icky Iggy'. Anything.

Kelekin: Icky Iggy!
Jon: Yay! Icky Iggy! [Starts laughing] What the heck? Look at that afro!
Kelekin: That is-- oh my god, I wish I had that hairstyle. I know what you have to do next Halloween!
Jon: I am not dressing up as Icky Iggy!
...
Kelekin: I just wanna say it, like, ten times. IckyIggyIckyIggyIckyIggyIcky-- I can't.

Kelekin: Wubwubwubwubwubwubwub-- igloo!

Kelekin: Energy efficient Elephant!
Jon: F. Freakin' fish.
...
Game: N. N. Noisy Nest.
Jon: I agree. O! Oily Octopus!
Jon: P! Princess--
Kelekin: Promiscuous Peach!
...
Jon: ...why are those shoes under an umbrella?
Kelekin: It's an Untie umbrella.
Jon: Why would they show kids a volcano?
Game: V. V. Violent Volcano.
Kelekin: As opposed to the friendly ones.
...
Kelekin: Y! Yodeling Yoshi!
Jon: Pleeeease! It would have been so good if it was Yodeling Yoshi.

  • The first encounter with the monkey.

Game: You found it!
Jon: I found a monkey!

Kelekin: Wow. [[[Beat]]] Wait...

Kelekin: It's the Gilbert Gottfried duck!
Jon: Geico!

Kelekin: Geico? It's Aflack.

Jon: Why'd a-- wha--? Where'd that Piranha Plant come from?

  • Kelekin's proposal for a new world.

Kelekin: I suppose Opposite World is better than Double-Negative World.
Jon: Double-Negative World would be great!
Kelekin: [Imitating the 'Robot Child'] Find the one that is not not hard!

  • Pretty much any time they get distracted by Luigi.

Kelekin: I've never really stacked up a bunch of crayons to find out if they'd be good to sleep on, but--
Jon: Luigi's got your back.

    • There's also this one:

Jon: Luigi's sleeping in the vegetable isle. Wake up, Luigi! We need to learn!

  • Another faux-pa—this time concerning the lyrics to Baa Baa Black Sheep/Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Jon: [Singing] Mary had a little lamb--
Kelekin: Twinkle twinkle little star!
Jon: Oh, god, I failed preschool! That's my horrible secret!

  • One of the last things we hear from Fun with Letters.

Jon: [With Mario standing on the pipe, under Peach] U! Upskirt! And on that note..
Kelekin: I feel like I learned a lot today.

  • Jon trying to figure out what was coming out of a Warp Pipe to talk to him.

Jon: Th--that was Bowser's butt. It just stuck... Did you see that? It stuck out of the pipe... [Sees it again] No, that's a... carrot?

From his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES) LP

  • He beats the game and doesn't realise it for several seconds - even after commenting on Shredder dying.

Jon: That's fucking right, you fucking melt in that ... Why did you explode? I don't fucking care, you did. ... I-I ... What was the point of that? Whatever, you're fucking dead. Did I just beat the game?

  • His attempt to explain what's going on upon reaching the lair is completely nonsensical... which makes it awfully entertaining.

Jon: My house! Master! Shredder has, somehow, conveniently set the VCR with this footage. That is set to go off as soon as we walk in. Also, his hand is somehow sticking out of the TV... that's damn impressive. I think he's actually sitting in the TV itself-- they just forgot to actually, like, check, see if it was him and when they all went away to try to find Splinter, he just got out and left.

  • There's also this:

Jon: I love being a turtle who can't swim.

From his Ninja Gaiden LPs

  • Ryu must go through a maze to find Irene in the second game, so Jon takes it literally and animates a whole sequence of Ryu going through a literal maze.
    • Jon has a Screw This, I'm Outta Here moment during Act 5 of the second game, so Ryu decides someone who will play while Jon is gone: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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