< Brain Scratch Commentaries

Brain Scratch Commentaries/Funny


Super Mario Bros.

  • I think logic is thrown out the window. (episode 1 at 7:15)
  • I know the goombas! (episode 2 at 4:48)
  • It's ruined! (episode 2 at 5:25)
  • Koopa Jump Kill (episode 4 at 5:33)
  • Hug the Buzzy Beetles (episode 4 at 8:33)
  • Mousetrap! Yahtzee! (episode 5 at 0:34)
  • Damn you Lakitu! (episode 5 at 2:41)

Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels

  • Lewis freaks out at World 9. No, really. His reaction to the underwater Lakitus must be heard to be believed.
  • Part FAIL. Just... Part FAIL.
  • The fire porn gag, which completely baffled Johnny.

Johnny: How do you fuck fire?!?

Solaris: I will have my revenge.
Johnny: I'm pretty sure you will but before that, Pong!

Super Mario Bros. 2 (USA)

  • Ryan singing to the overworld music when Johnny first uses Toad. The other two begin cracking up after the second line.

Nayrman: Toad! *starts singing*
"I just met Toad, he's Princess Peach's BA
Just between us, I think he's definitely gay
He's made out of trees, listen close and you'll see
I'm very like him, because I am gay"

  • Johnny getting fed up with Ryan uttering "Failure" repeatedly, calling him out on it and making him shut up for a short time.
  • Johnny repeatedly failing at world 5-3.
  • The small conflict between the three commentators over when talking about the new end boss at the end of world 3-3 in the GBA port. Ryan absolutely cracks Johnny up by the power of randomness:

Ted: Actually, his name is Rusty-robirdol
Ryan: Robo-birdo.
Johnny: It's Robirdo.
Ted: RUSTY-ROBIRDO!
Johnny: (in thick Latin accent): It's Robirdo!
Ryan: What the hell, fried chicken.

  • Johnny channeling his inner Kingdom Hearts.

Super Mario 64

  • Ryan's reaction to realizing that updating his homebrewed Wii has made it impossible for him to complete his 100% run.
  • Lewis's reaction to Ryan singing the first few bars of "A Whole New World" from Aladdin after Lewis says, "Cue the damn Aladdin song..." when he noticed that Mario was riding on top of a magic carpet in Rainbow Ride during part 19.

Pokémon Yellow

Nayrman (as Mewtwo): Greetings, Pokémon trainer. You have traveled this land fighting the strongest trainers and Pokémon. I humbly challenge you to a battle worthy of our time!
Nayrman (as the Trainer): Master Ball, go!
Nayrman (as Mewtwo): Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

  • And of course, the joke everyone was waiting for:

On-Screen text (After catching Mewtwo): So, are we done now? Nope. (Footage of Exand battling a Seaking rolls)
Nayrman: FUCK YES SEAKING!

  • Here's something from part 5 that was pretty funny:

Johnny: (addressing to Ted) You know what? I poke fun at you for not getting the "Koffing" and "Weezing" reference until late, but you know what? It took me a while to realize that Ekans and Arbok was "snake" and "kobra" backwards.
Ryan: And Arbok is misspelled because poor literacy is kool.
Johnny: *Chuckles*

  • beat*

Ted: Meanwhile, what's Muk spelled backwards?
Johnny: *breaks out laughing*
Ryan: *laughs*
Ryan: (to Johnny) Bet you'll never look at that Pokémon the same way again.
Johnny: *laughs harder*
Johnny: I'm booting up my DS now. I'm taking him out of my lineup.

Pokemon Crystal

  • The entire Lt. Surge battle. From the callback to the Yellow Commentary (Nyeeeeeeh), to the use of Street Fighter 4's version of Guile's Theme as the background music for any Pokémon that's not Electrode, at which point it changes to the original Guile Theme.
  • Just the idea of Jason Voorhees singing THAT song about his favorite day of the week.
  • Anything involving the Pokémon Fan Club President and his Rapidash.
    • Part 32 involves Ted getting a phone call, with Ryan and Johnny thinking it's the Pokémon Fan Club President.
  • The Call Back to the Rousing Speech before tossing the Master Ball in Part 37.

Nayrman (as Raikou): Greetings, Pokémon trainer. I am here to give you your biggest challenge yet of catching a roaming legendary that can also remove you from battle. Causing this the greatest challenge of catching Pokémon ever invented!
Nayrman (as the Trainer): Master Ball, go!
Nayrman and Johnny (as Raikou): Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

  • Johnny imitating Raikou trying to struggle to get out of the ball seconds after said Call Back.
  • Johnny's ideal marriage to some girl named Veronica in the middle of Mt. Silver.[1]
  • The return of Fuck Yeah, Seaking!
  • The many marijuana jokes made during the Erika battle.

Sonic the Hedgehog

  • Solaris's klepto moments (and the increasing exasperation of Nayrman and Johnny) make for one hell of a running gag.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

  • Johnny manages to repeatedly impale himself at Oil Ocean. Solaris and Nayrman are rather amused.
  • Johnny's satisfaction with speeding through Slicers in Metropolis Zone as Super Sonic.

Johnny: "Yeah! Where's your god now, you Mother Fucker?!"

Sonic 3 & Knuckles (Sonic & Tails)

  • Solaris gets absolutely fed up with Ryan's repeated failure at finding Special Stage rings.
  • Ryan fails at Lava Reef Act 2. Repeatedly. This leads to yet another instance of the "It's STORM EAGLE" gag.

Sonic 3 & Knuckles (Knuckles Playthrough)

  • Through the magic of clipping, Solaris gets murdered by a ring box at Mushroom Hill Zone. It should be noted that if Solaris had broken the ring box, he would have gotten a extra life.
  • Solaris's kleptomania earns him a much higher score than a lot of people would've had from playing the game. Oddly enough, neither Ryan nor Johnny are amused nor impressed.
  • Giving the Beatnik and Rastafarian Knuckles twins (from Johnny's End of Month of Sonic 2) the names of Junkles and Knuckers.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4

  • Johnny edits the sound effects of the bumpers in the Special Stages with "PINGAS!" Hilarity Ensues.
  • At the third act of Mad Gear Zone, Johnny transforms into Super Sonic a little too early, getting crushed by the wall as a result.

Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode II

Nayrman: (The Animals): Thanks for freeing us from the Bad Guys Metal Sonic, we like you.
Clement: (Metal Sonic): Get outta here ya little bastards!
Lewis: (Metal Sonic after hijacking the Rocket from Episode I): By the way Tails, thanks for the Rocket. Tee Hee!

Sonic Adventure

Johnny: (As a drunk Sonic): All right Eggman, Yeah I taught you good, YEAH HAHA I´m Sonic The Hedgehog!, oho God, Damn it I didn't see that coming, Yeah aha, I´m Sonic the He- Oh god there go my legs"

  • In part 9, Johnny as Tails takes a short cut and ends up flying and falling slowly through half of Windy Valley.

Johnny: This is exciting!

  • In a blink-it-and-miss-moment in Gamma's walkthrough; Johnny adds in a scene of Sonic from a different game. The other two commentators catch it, and spend nearly two minutes laughing.
    • On the note of Gamma's commentary, Lewis freaking out to realizing that Big is voiced by the same actor that voices Duke Nukem. Johnny and Ryan's quotes afterward are a laughable parody of Duke Nukem.
  • During the second sky chase in Tails's story. Johnny decides to spice things up and go to Ludicrous speed.
  • Lewis's immodest orgasm when Johnny gets Tails killed.

Lewis OH GOD YES!

  • Tikal advising Johnny not to fall off the bridge in the Hot Shelter; complete with him falling off the bridge in the Hot Shelter.

Johnny: (mimicking Tikal) I said not to, hey wait, God dammit!

  • The Tale of Tails and his missing penny. It was a running gag that lasted throughout the Tails portion of the game, and Ryan requested that it be added to this page during the Symphony of the Night Play-through.

Nayrman: Angst, angst, oax, angst.
Solaris: Sadness, more angst. Oh, a penny. (Sonic then runs past in front of Tails)
Nayrman: And now it's gone.
Johnny: He took my penny, that was my penny! Hey! I'm talking to you! I didn't think he heard me. I'm gonna chase that fucker. (Tails begins following Sonic smiling) My penny! Gimme back my penny! It was mine!
Solaris: I saw it first!!
Johnny: HEY! YOU BLUE FUCKER!
Solaris: Sonic, your shoes are untied!
Nayrman and Solaris: I don't have shoelaces, you dipshit.
Johnny: (the flashback ends) We completely shitted on that flashback.

  • On Tails' play-through, Johnny and Nayrman's dirty minds point out that Eggman looked like he was "whacking it" in the Egg-mobile.
  • We find out that Knuckles loves to "get it on with himself".
  • Solaris points out Amy Rose's orange clipping through the bag.
  • Solaris' explanation on how jump cuts are born.

Sonic Adventure 2: Battle

  • Solaris's usage of the overused line, "Long time no see".

Solaris: (as Tails) Hey Mr. President! Long time no see.
Solaris: (as the President) But we never met before!
Solaris: (as Tails) But long time no see! That really is a long time.

  • Solaris questions the name of the ARK. Ryan's suggested answer: "It's an Act of Random Kindness?" This makes the whole group crack up. Bonus points for an "act of random kindness" being remarkably in-character for Gerald Robotnik before he went insane.

|Sonic the Hedgehog 2006

  • The creation of Silver's nickname: Pothead the Porcupine.

Clement: Who're you?

Solaris: I am Pothead the Porcupine! *everyone starts laughing* His head looks like marijuana-colored-white.

Clement: After I smoke a J, I will destroy you!

Solaris: SUPER MACHINE GUN TABLE ATTACK! *grabs several chairs as Silver and tosses them at Sonic*
Johnny: Jesus Christ!
Clement: It's rape! It's rape in boss form!
Solaris: With chairs. *finishes Sonic off*
Everyone: *is cracking up*
Johnny: Oh my God! Jeez!
Clement: Murder... absolute murder...
Johnny: You know, I didn't think it was possible to beat shooting him to the moon, but... god damn...
Solaris: Why do we need Sonic to save the world again?
Clement: Ohhh... that was a genius way to end it...

  • Solaris continues being a klepto, leading to one memorable instance where he repeatedly manages to off himself (and also waste a lot of time) in a series of futile attempts to get one Silver Medal. The rest of the gang can't decide whether or not they should find this amusing.
  • "Perfectly positioned for a victory shot!"
  • In Part 38, Solaris wastes a fair bit of time to improve game score to earn a better rank in the level. Five seconds into part 39, he pilots the vehicle right into the water, causing him to die and lose his score. Ryan got pissed off as a consequence.

Sonic Generations

Lewis: It's been fucking destroyed.
Nayrman: The city has STILL been fucking destroyed.
FTA: That's TWICE you dickheads have stolen my line.

  • Solaris's introduction of the game.

Lewis: 6 commentators, 5 Hours, 4 People trying talk over each other all at one time, 3 eras, 2 Hedgehogs, 1 Epic Adventure, it's the Sonic Generations Commentary!

  • When Johnny goes to Classic Seaside Hill, he uses a technique that lets him break the level by skipping one of the level checkpoints

Mario Kart 64

  • One of the first lines is Johnny lamenting on how the crew learned nothing from the F-Zero GX run of the same genre.
  • At around twenty seconds into the video, Johnny starts to read Pepsi ingredients off a bottle to "Get it out of the way".

Johnny: Well I better get started now. Lets see, Pepsi. Carbonated water. High fructose corn syrup. Caramel colored sugar. Phosphoric acid. Caffeine. Citric acid.

    • At the end of Johnny's rant, Solaris shouts "Greenly", calling back to the GX playthrough.
  • Nayrman tells the crew about the comic he read on Dueling Analogs where Cloud and Sephiroth are playing basketball, only to end with Sephiroth murdering Aerith. The sheer change in storyline from the comic had the other commentators laughing.
    • Found here for quick reference.

Final Fantasy VI

  • Lewis temporarily leaves his post to deal with a mosquito, multiple times in the same part, for the same mosquito. That's not the funny bit, though; every time this happens, Ryan sings the Monty Python intermission tune. It gets funnier every time.
    • This comes back in full force once Johnny activates the sketch glitch. Only this time, Johnny actually added the intermission screen and theme.

The Legend of Zelda

  • Ted dies an unexpectedly large amount of eight times in part one alone, some deaths not even a minute apart.
  • Matthew's scenario of a "heal-job" gone awry:

Matt: (As Bo Rt) Oh BABY! What's your name?
Matt: (As Error) I AM ERROR!

Matt: Lewis, Lewis, fire hot. Remember that fire is hot.

  • The introduction to part 2, where Lewis welcomes the viewers back:

Lewis: Once again, our dear friend Ted is trying to beat the monsters by slamming his face into them.
Matt:(though mumbled): That's right Ted, block with your face!

  • Ted allegedly stops to set up a new recording in the Legend of Zelda playthrough, performing a jump-cut in the process. However, he already established that a jump-cut means that he is looking at a strategy guide to beat the game. When he does this in-front of dungeon 3, absolutely nobody believed him and Matt claimed that Ted got lost on the way to dungeon 3 when he was two feet away from it.

Ted: I don't get it, what are you guys claiming?
Matt: That you paused the game and gave us a jump-cut right before dungeon 3. You got lost two feet away from dungeon 3!

  • Johnny's repeated exasperated cry of Ted's name whenever Ted dies or unbelievably screws up while playing.
  • Matt in general; he has been keeping the fans laughing their asses off, and they also want him in another commentary afterward.
  • This little gem from Part four:

Matt: Johnny and I were playing Majora's Mask by ourselves, and I told him: Look, if you're not comfortable with the aliens, then I'll do it... and then I end up getting her abducted. After that, all day Johnny would look at me and say ROMANI!!!

Matt: That's probably why you don't have a girlfriend...
Ted: Hey! How do you know that? For all you know I could have a girlfriend of my own and you wouldn't know!
Ryan: Ted, you make commentaries over video games.

  • Ryan shouting "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" whenever Ted tries to defend himself.
  • Matt bragging about how easy dig-dogger is and that nobody should die from him, ending with Ted dying to Digdogger right at the end of his speech.
  • Ted constantly going back to dungeon five repeatedly.

Ryan: I've never seen anybody spend so much time trying to get OUT of the dungeon.

Johnny: I'm saying that you're having no problem with Ted killing everything on the screen, but you call me the fucking sociopath on our Let's Play, you fucking hypocrite!
Matt: I hold you to different standards. I expect you to be better than that.
Ted: HEY!

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

  • The Underground Garden: Sweet Rave Vampire Killer, and the various quotes Ryan drops throughout the area.
  • Johnny's Happauge starts to shit out on him, causing what can only be described as teleportation throughout the castle. Rather than give Johnny shit about it, Ryan, Johnny, and Ted just roll with the footage as is, and make comments on it. This is noticeable when Johnny fights the optional boss of the game, culminating with...
    • AND THEN HE DIED
  • Johnny singing the Shaft Theme when The Ghost of The Ghost of Shaft appears.

F-Zero GX

  • The gang getting so bored that they resort to reading ingredient labels to entertain themselves. Complete with randomly inserted clips from Animaniacs!
    • Solaris eventually looks around his room to see what he could read and ends up reading the horrifying the-thing-that-shouldn't-be-named.
    • Nayrman, during a track in outer space, begins singing Jews In Space, in which he explains that he is Jewish and therefore the joke is appropriate.
    • Johnny suddenly plays the Poké Rap.
    • He suddenly realizes that his mom is looking for the meatloaf.

Klonoa

  • The team (along with Big Al) tearing apart the "touching" ending with such lines as "Team Rocket's blasting off again!" (Big Al) "Twinkle." (Ryan), "Hewpoe you bastard/liar." (Lewis), "I regret nothing!" (Big Al), and "Suckality." (Johnny). Other lines like this follow suit.
    • Lewis furthers this claim by munching on chips during Klonoa's banishment.
  • Johnny pointing out the Final Boss of the game looks like Grimace from the McDonald's commercials.
  • PONTS-KOOPEE!!! And the various phrases that drove Johnny up a wall.
  • Big Al's weird dream involving pie and lube.

Batman: Arkham Asylum

  • In part 17, the video experiences the Fake Screen Crashing included in the game, then an actual video crash. For the rest of the part, Nayrman instead plays a bit of Adam West Batman while playing Benny Hill music. Needless to say, this has the other two commentators in stitches.
  • Within the same part, a small bit of Ho Yay between Solaris and the Joker:

Joker: Say goodnight, Bats!
Solaris: Aw come on! How about dinner and a drink first?

  • Solaris gets strangely turned on as he hears Harley Quinn stating that she's gonna spank Warden Sharp.
  • As noted by Ryan during the second TV tropes reading, the added music during the following parts because of a sound malfunction, including Joker's Theme from the Animated Series, and the Adam West Batman Theme Song that interrupts it solely because of a combat section. Moments after the last enemy is knocked out, the music returned to the Joker's Theme.

Mega Man 1

  • When Ryan dies to Fire Man, Clement comments on how he looks like he scored a touchdown, with Johnny imagining Fire Man doing a Charleston to boot!
  • Johnny's reaction to Solaris's roboticized Namekian trees line
  • in part 1 when Ryan fails a dropping platform section and megaman drops like a rock

Mega Man 3

  • Ryan grinding for weapon energy at one part in the play-through, and intentionally leaving the work he had to put in the game. As he put it: "If I have to suffer playing through this part of the game, you have to suffer watching it!"
    • It starts off mildly entertaining, but eventually becomes totally aggravating. Eventually, Solaris dives into insanity, going as far as to hallucinate drawing magic. Meanwhile, Johnny just expresses his growing boredom with the subtlety of a flying sledgehammer.
  • Solaris' reaction to Doc Robot copying Airman's powers with Nayrman once again editing in Airman ga Taosenai.

Mega Man 4

Johnny: I'm calling this the 'dick' part.

Mega Man 7

  • Nayrman's exceptional use of the Nostalgia button to show the comparison between boss stages.
  • Any conversation when Mega Man goes back to see Dr. Light.
  • Revealing the secret area in Slash Man's stage:

Ted: "Remember Mega Man, only you can prevent forest fires."
Ryan: "Or I can cause them!" *Sets entire forest on fire*
Clement: "What's that? Burn down the forest?"
Ted: "I said prevent, not provoke!"
Paranoia Sonik: Fuck, Smokey the Bear's gonna kill me now.
Johnny: Oh wait, he's dead... because I already set him on fire.

Mega Man 8

Mega Man X

  • IT'S STORM EAGLE!!
    • Failure to Hadoken any Mavericks, but succeeding in Hadokening Sigma's Dog and his first form only, to which Solaris is taken aback from the sudden success.

Mega Man X2

  • The loss of everyone's best friend, Green Biker Dude. He will be forever missed.

Portal

  • When all three power trio members yell out "Whee"! GLaDOS randomly joins in.
  • A sudden stalker is spotted by Johnny IRL.
  • While Nayrman sings Still Alive in the Credits. Solaris tries to get him to stop.
  • When Nayrman starts to narrate Half Life: Full Life Consequences style.

Portal 2

  • Lewis getting intercepted by the sphere, knocking him out of midair and into the septic acidic sludge.
  • Nayrman sings the ending credits song, while Lewis berates him for ruining the song. Nayrman completely ignores him.
  • In part 12 of the Co-op playthrough, Johnny goes on a rant saying that they canceled the DMC 4 playthough because Nayrman sucks at it for their Portal 2 Co-op playthrough where Nayrman and Lewis are dicking around. Listen to it here.
  • In part 15 of the Co-op playthrough, Johnny plays the Final Jeopardy music while Lewis and Ryan struggle to complete the test chamber they were stuck on since the previous part.
  • On Part 17 around 12:50, Johnny's minor breakdown at figuring out how to solve the puzzle that Naryman and Solaris Paradox are failing to see right in front of their faces is a pretty good one.
  • In part 19, Nayrman and Lewis are trying to destroy some turrets in order to continue the puzzle, what happens at the 4:46 mark must be seen to be believed.
    • "What..."

No More Heroes

  • In part 12, when Nayrman and Johnny find out that Solaris has never seen Rocky.
  • In part 10 of No More Heroes, Ryan goes out of his way to use all of the fire extinguishers while not on fire. Lewis gets angry at this.

Solaris: I freaked out on Johnny for the whole Hadoken thing in Mega Man X, but this is more infuriating because it has no point!

No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle

Resident Evil 4

  • Solaris remembering Yuji Naka's final words on American soil thanks to Sandler during a codec conversation with Leon.

Sandler: Do you REALLY believe I would trust an American?
Solaris: I think that's what Yuji Naka said when he left America.
BSC: *Cry in laughter*
Solaris: Come on guys, it's not that funny.
Johnny: (trying to calm down his laughter) I know, but I can just imagine Yuji Naka actually saying that.

  • In part 21 of the Resident Evil 4 playthrough, Johnny forgets to edit out the part where he changes his Wii remote's batteries, with Solaris coming up with odd answers as to what the hell Ashley is giving Leon.
  • Solaris's attempt to sing during a ladder climb, in which Johnny plays the song in sync with him.

Solaris: SNAKE EATER!!!

    • And when they decide to sing the song backwards: EAT THE SNAKE!!!
  • Again, Solaris epically replying to one of Johnny's lines during the "midget Nepolean battle".

Johnny: Can you make it over here, Leon?
Solaris: (In an incredibly bored voice) Um yeah, get a load of this.

  • Ted's introduction to the commentary and group, seemingly left in the dark as the game was underway.
  • A nice dialogue between the team that is kicked off by Ryan's utterance of Queef:

Solaris: I always have Ashley do that. (referring to turning the crank)
Johnny: What, queef?
Solaris: No, no, no. I was referring to turning the crank. By the way, what is a queef? Isn't that some kind of flatulence?
Johnny: Yeah, it's a pussy-fart.

Random Ramble: IGN's Top 100 Animated Series

Random Ramble: My Little Pony Friendship is Magic

  • The accuracy of Johnny singing the famous "Trololo" song is both hilarious and frightening (He hits THAT high note at the end of the video).

Brainscratchcomms Q & A session

  • Dinnnerrrrrrrrrrrr!

Pokémon Retrospective

  • When the trio of Nayrman, Johnny, and Exand Shadow begin speaking about the remakes of Gold and Silver. Exand begins expressing his love for the remakes.

Exand: Oooh... Heartgold!
Nayrman: Soulsilver for me.
Exand: Ooooh, Ho-Oh... your sprite is soo big!

Other

  • In their Pokémon Black 2 and White 2 impressions video, the female guest commentator remarks that she enjoyed the sgblikestoplay run of Resident Evil, Matt in particular because she feels joy in not feeling like she is the only ADHD kid.
  • FTA's epic burn on the new girl in the Sonic 4 Episode 2 impressions video.

Amanda: Well, I only own the 3DS version, and I'm trying to save up money to inject the XBOX version.
FTA: Then, you don't deserve to be here.

  • And minutes later after Sonicand Shadowfan 15 had her rant.

Amanda: I hate Shadow the Hedgehog (The Game) The game is....Meh. I honestly don't understand why you gave him a car?
FTA: Cause chicks dig cars!
Amanda: I DON'T! I´m a chick and I like Shadow, and yeah he looked badass, but I like him with just the Fucking GUN! FUCK THE CAR! FUCK THE MOTORCYCLE! I don't give a shit! He is as fast as Sonic, let him run! Ok? I fucked those cars! I skipped them! THEY WERE POINTLESS!
Johny: Ok, let´s keep your sexual preferences for cars out of this.
FTA: Woah, Woah, Woah, Wait. Did you just admit to having sexual intercourse with a motor vehicle?
Amanda: NO!
FTA: Jesus! It's true what they say... Sonic Fans Are Fucked up!
 

  1. ↑ This was a reference to the movie Anchorman.
  2. ↑ They also stole the line at the end of their Sonic Adventure playthrough.
  3. ↑ Ryan actually got killed by him. Granted, he had been worn down by the level itself.
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