Homosexual agenda

The homosexual agenda (sometimes gay agenda) is a homophobic conspiracy theory originally created by the Religious Right in the United States, which alleges that homosexuals are trying to infiltrate and corrupt all of our precious bodily fluids every facet of traditional American culture, most notably: family values. The primary purpose of this claim is to give the LGBT rights movement a shady, vicious and fictional purpose (usually rooted in anti-Christianity, anti-Islam[note 1] and/or pro-communist conspiracies) and thus keep it dehumanized, because the faceless agenda is much easier to convince people to rally against than the individuals seeking basic civil rights themselves.

A copy of Protocols of the Learned Gay Elders of the Rainbow
Gay free zone
Homophobia
Fighting the gay agenda
Judge not
That ye be not judged
v - t - e
Some dare call it
Conspiracy
What THEY don't want
you to know!
Sheeple wakers
v - t - e
“”You place the Bible in every hotel room, hold signs up on street corners, have churches on nearly every corner, insist "God" be on money and knock on the doors of strangers to spread the good word. Tell me again about the gay agenda.
—Atheism: We-Think-More[1]

Those who believe in the homosexual agenda often cite Michael Swift's satirical essay, "Gay Revolutionary," as evidence for their views. In doing so, they generally omit the first line, which reads: "This essay is an outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor."[2]

Brokeback Mountain is also apparently a centerpiece of the agenda, being a clever propaganda piece by which Hollywood can brainwash unsuspecting red-blooded Americans into going along with the homosexual agenda![3]

Exposing their fabulous plot

According to The Christian Post, the homosexual agenda consists of:[4]

  1. Decriminalisation of sodomy
  2. Equalization of age of consent for heterosexual sex and homosex
  3. Anti-discrimination laws e.g. equality in sex education which should cover heterosexual sex and anal sex
  4. Same-sex marriage or civil union
  5. Homosexual parenthood and adoption rights.

To others, this might be known as "being treated like a human being" — the horror!

Use of this term may indicate paranoia, persecution complex and an obsession with everything gay.

Stealing our rainbows!
“”Rainbow: Sign of the Covenant with Noe. Its 7 colors (from the top down: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet) recall the 7 Sacraments (7 is the sign of Covenant and completion). In St. John's vision of Heaven, a rainbow makes an appearance – over the head of the angel who gives John a book to eat (ch. 10), and surroudning [sic] the throne of God.
—Fisheaters.com[5]

Everyone's favorite nutjob, Scott Lively, created a video trying to reclaim the rainbow as a Christian symbol, in a delightful little ditty, The Rainbow Belongs to God, which goes: "Who is the one that dares to defy God's covenant truth with lies?"[note 2] Answer: The Gays™ and the gay agenda.

In schools
“”If you pay tuition, you're sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. If you pay taxes, you're sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. If your child majors in English, you're sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. Tell Billy to major in math.
—Excerpt from Ben Shapiro's Townhall editorial "Militant gay English on the rise"[6]

Some modern and fundamentalist conservative movements, particularly in America, believe that public schools are "indoctrinating" students to promote, convert to, or generally accept homosexuality as "normal".[7] This view has become more prominent towards the end of the 20th century following the sexual revolution of the 1960s, after which homosexuals became more accepted by mainstream society. However, the evidence to support the claim that homosexuals are trying to convert students (let alone the existence of an ideological justification for doing so) is scarce non-existent. This idea is largely a result of the growing acceptance towards homosexuality by mainstream society, as well as schools teaching about homosexuality. However, the teaching about homosexuality has been interpreted by anti-LGBT groups as an attempt to convert and indoctrinate, rather than educate.

While there has been a noticeable lack of teaching gayness in schools, there has been a statistical spike in scared, closeted LGBTQ kids committing suicide, to the point where former US President Barack Obama made a YouTube video about it.[8] Evangelicals responded by saying their kids were bullied first by the kid "being gay" at school.

Homosexual recruitment
“”They want you! They want you! They want you as a new recruit!
—Village PeopleFile:Wikipedia's W.svg, In The NavyFile:Wikipedia's W.svg[note 3]
“”As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children.
—Anita Bryant,[9] completely ignoring how gay people come about

Homosexual recruitment is the working title of a conspiratorial moral panic spun into existence by some rather creepy wingnuts.[note 4] It posits that there is a concerted effort by the gay population to place large numbers of gay teachers in schools. Then, drawing from their idea that homosexual tendencies are acquired in youth, it then goes on to claim that said gay teachers are trying to seduce children and turn them gay. Among proponents of the theory, homosexual recruitment is typically considered part (and likewise indicative) of a larger homosexual agenda. Various wingnuts have also found homosexual recruitment lurking in a number of other areas as well. Pat Robertson, for example, "discovered" that feminism is actually a front for turning women into lesbians.[10] (along with socialists, pagans, and other sundry bogeymen)

It also draws on pseudo-psychological quackery regarding pedophilia. This form of bullshit posits the notion that gay men are all pedophiles and molest little boys. They allegedly practice this molestation because they know that such abuse will turn the children gay later in life; thus, the gay man "recruits" because he cannot reproduce.[note 5] For this reason, fundamentalist wingnuts often support quack psychotherapies such as repressed or recovered memory therapy to find "proof" of child sexual abuse in gay people, and reparative therapy to "cure the gay".

This panic led to the Briggs InitiativeFile:Wikipedia's W.svg in 1978, a proposition to ban not only gays, but also anyone who supported gay rights, from working in California public schools. However, even Ronald Reagan went against this measure,[11] and it was defeated at the polls. Britain's infamous Section 28File:Wikipedia's W.svg law was also passed into law, partly out of fear of gay "recruitment".[12]

In 2013, the Russian government unanimously passed a law banning promotion of "homosexual behaviour among minors",[13] which was met with protests in Russia and abroad. Proponents of this law try to claim that it is a complete coincidence that its passage was accompanied by a large spike in violence against Russia's LGBT population.

An earlier iteration of this conspiracy theory was referred to as "Homintern," a play on the Soviet Comintern. This theory posited that gays controlled the arts and media and used them for the purposes of propagandizing and recruitment.[14] More recently, the term "Sexual Bolshevism" has been preferred by Metapedians (probably because "Homintern" was too subtle), although this phrase has its history in Weimar Germany.

The typical gay agenda...

Perceived Agenda...
  • 8:00am - Wake up.
  • 8:30am - Go to gym lusting after locker-room genitals.
  • 12:30pm - Light a scented candle and moan over its lusciousness.
  • 1:30pm - Inspire schoolboys to be transgendered ballerinas.
  • 5:00pm - Take cocktail of AIDS pills.
  • 5:10pm - Take cocktail of ecstasy, xanax, oxycontin and paint thinner.
  • 6:15pm - Glory hole.
  • 7:00pm - Send mixed signals with strange beard and ironic masculine clothes.
  • 7:30pm - Work in cliché fashion job making tons of money.
  • 8:00pm - Donate money to fake news.
  • 9:30pm - Fill hole in soul with gross unprotected gay-man-sex.
  • 11:10pm - Drag reluctant pregnant friend to abortion clinic.
  • 11:20pm - Send text message to secret ISIS boyfriend in Syria.

Actual Agenda
  • 8:00am - Wake up.
  • 8:30am - Go to work.
  • 9:00am - Work.
  • 12:30pm - Quick lunch with some workmates.
  • 1:30pm - Work some more.
  • 3:00pm - Buy groceries at the local market.
  • 5:30pm - Call parents for a bit.
  • 6:00pm - Make dinner for/with partner
  • 7:00pm - Eat.
  • 8:30pm - Watch episode of Grey's Anatomy.
  • 10:30pm - Go to bed.
gollark: I don't think it's 1000 times worse. Windows and Ubuntu are similarly evil. Ubuntu probably less evil, even.
gollark: That seems like a self-consistent position to me!
gollark: Well I think Ubuntu *and* Windows are bad.
gollark: > implying ubuntu is good
gollark: I played potatOS's chronometer app.
For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about gay agenda.

Notes
  1. Sometimes pro-Islam, when the fantasy is in the mind of a Christian fundamentalist, which only goes to show how delusional these ideas actually are.
  2. That's not even the craziest part, see the full video here, please!
  3. This almost counts as proof. But not really.
  4. They are not gay themselves, for the record.
  5. Statistically, the overwhelming majority of child sexual abuse cases involve heterosexual abuse by adult men of little girls. An exception is the priest molestation scandal where the vast majority of cases are priest on boy. What makes the RC priests so gay?

References
  1. http://atheismwethinkmore.tumblr.com/post/115793613755
  2. Michael Swift: "Gay Revolutionary", Fordham University
  3. Homosexual agenda pushed in movies like Brokeback Mountain!
  4. Understanding the Homosexual Agenda, The Christian Post (Singapore edition)
  5. Christian Symbols
  6. Militant gay English on the rise Townhall. August 20, 2003
  7. Traditional Values website regarding homosexuality.
  8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzcAR6yQhF8
  9. Parting Glances: Oranges & lemons sliced (February 2, 2006).
  10. Did Pat Robertson Say Feminism Encourages Women to “Kill Their Children”? - Snopes
  11. Reagan, Ronald (1978-11-01). "Editorial: Two Ill-advised California Trends". Los Angeles Herald-Examiner. p. A19.
  12. Section 28 to be repealed, BBC News
  13. "Russian Duma passes law banning 'gay propaganda'". 11 June 2013.
  14. The Homintern, New York Times
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