Teahouse/Characters

The Teahouse

Staff

Xanthe Atros, owner of the Teahouse

• Bastard Boyfriend: on so many fronts: towards Linneus (whom he knows to crush hard on him) and towards Lilith (whom he apparently beds occasionally, and who's also crushing on him), on top of this he's also more or less neglectful of his wife
• Eyes of Gold
• If It's You It's Okay: no hard evidence exists, but with the rendezvous with Lilith and all the UST with Linneus, it's pretty safe to assume.
• Reasonable Authority Figure
• Seme
• Sex for Solace: Mostly used with Lilith.
• Tall, Dark and Handsome

Argent, Xanthe's bodyguard

• Action Girl
• Battle Butler: Atros' most trusted right-hand woman, wields a rapier.
• Heroic Albino: although not really a hero due to her minor character status, her character description on the website (not to mention the sword she carries with her) hints that she could possibly be a Lady of War.
• The Quiet One: She only spoke once so far, despite being constantly present.

Courtesans

• Sex Slave

Linneus

• Bishonen
• Dropped a Bridget On Him: Several times but especially with Gilder.
• Dude Looks Like a Lady
• Everything's Sparkly with Jewelry: He often wears excessive amounts of bling.
• Hooker with a Heart of Gold
• Moe: Oh yes. Taken Up to Eleven in the flashback scenes with him as a kid.
• Pink Haired Boy
• Rags to Riches: He was sold to the Tea House as a cleaning servant at age 5 and arrives at the house literally in rags. 21 years later, Linneus is living in complete luxury as a courtesan, habitually receiving jewellery (and possibly other pricey gifts) from his clients.
• Rose Haired Boy
• Unlucky Childhood Friend: Poor Linneus has known Atros since his fifth birthday and obviously has been in love with him for years. So far, no dice.
• Uke: easily the most effeminate and pretty male in the series, also a gentle personality.
• Viewer Gender Confusion: the authors lampshade the ambiguousness of Linneus' sex and gender on the website's character descriptions and also directly in page 57 during a flashback scene:

Linneus: "I want to be a Princess!"
Xanthe: "That's ridiculous; you're a boy. You don't actually want to be a girl do you?"
Linneus: "No. But I want a Prince and a crown!"

Axis

• All Girls Want Bad Boys: Exploited. He knows this all too well. Thus, he milks his ruggedly handsome looks, mixes it with his dandy-like clothes and earned his place that way as top earner of the house.
• Bi the Way
• Buxom Is Better: In the first book's bonus comic, makes it very clear he fancies Claret's rack. Further underlined in the off-site "Ask Axis" feature.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Sometimes to the point of Narm.
• Does Not Like Shoes: As is apparent from the dirty state of his feet.
• Eyes of Gold
• Have I Mentioned I Am Hetero Today: He does make a scene of appreciating female beauty and disliking gay shit.
• Hot-Blooded
• Fiery Redhead: Oh yeah!
• Jerkass: although he seems more angry than really assholish. When he's not being an asshole, of course.
• My Name Is Not Durwood: It’s AXIS, not Alice.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: With Rhys. Their hair says so.
• Stupid Sexy Rhys
• Transparent Closet
• Tsundere: He is about as pure type A as it gets (default mood is moody). He goes from furious at the thought of being chosen by Rhys to furious at not being chosen by Rhys in the span of four whole panels. Print version gives a nice example of his dere side, which apparently only exists for a few minutes at a time, tops, and can only be seen after he's been worn down by lots and lots of smouldering sex.
• Uke: A rather pushy, reluctant one. Also beefy. Also not gay.

Rory Dubois

• Bishonen
• Legal Jailbait
• Naive Newcomer: He's pretty clearly not used to this whole whoring business.
• Twincest The woman he pictures while masturbating is his twin sister, as revealed in recent pages.
• Uke

Claret

• Dojikko: quoth the cast page (as of Nov 2011), She may not be able to service you but she can serve you tea. Or spill it all over you. Whatever.
• Genki Girl
• Hollywood Pudgy: She's certainly more curvaceous than Lilith, but does not appear overweight as she's accused of being. In a mild subversion, Axis admits to Rory that he doesn't really believe she's fat (though he called her so).
• Hooker with a Heart of Gold
• The Pollyanna: she's capable of sulking, but mostly she's chipper.
• Purple Eyes

Mercutio

• Camp Something: He is prone to taking Claret's shoes and completely owning the look. With much enthusiasm.
• Cargo Ship: in-universe depiction of him and his massive collection of sex toys, which other characters seem to have a healthy fear of.
• Curtains Match the Window
• Fetish: He's stated to "cater to clients with strange fetishes," as if his collection doesn't make this clear enough.
• Psycho Sidekick: Mercutio and his fondness for violent-looking sex toys. He also remains the one courtesan in the series to remain in the background.
• Stealth Hi Bye: He does it in Chapter Two.
  • Parodied brilliantly here.

Lilith

• Blondes Are Evil: follows nicely the archetype, being blonde and good-looking, and rarely missing a chance to be a bitch.
• Ice Queen: She's the snide, bitchy variation of this and also a possible subversion for she might be anything but sex-negative, unlike most Ice Queens. (Judging from her extra-career fling with Atros.)
• Manipulative Bitch: Lilith is seemingly going onto that path.
• Rich Bitch: Whether or not she actually has the money to be considered rich, Lilith certainly dresses the part and is the top female earner of the house.
• The Snark Knight: Lilith has shades of this.
• Woman in White

Clientele

Rhys D'Ivore

• Bishonen: Manlier than average but still applies due to its lithe body and refined visage.
• Bi the Way: By Word of God and just how he chose Claret over Axis upon his introduction.
• Curtains Match the Window
• Gentleman Snarker/Deadpan Snarker
• Interplay of Sex and Violence: After finding out his little sister ordered Axis, Rhys rushes to the Teahouse to confront him. After a violent physical altercation, with Axis gaining the upper-hand, they then seem to forget about the fight and launch right into making out.
• Man in White: his royal uniform is white.
• A Man of Wealth and Taste: Always very elegant.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue Oni to Axis' red.
• Seme
• The Snark Knight: Rhys practically personifies this trope.
• What an Idiot!: Got mad at Axis because Axis slept with his sister. Axis' job is to sleep with whoever pays him.

Alistair Grayson Dorian Reed III

• Curtains Match the Window
• Seme: Unusual in that he would have preferred his Uke to be manlier.
• Tall, Dark and Handsome: or as dubbed in the cast page previously, "tall, dark and rapist". Complete with Shiny Midnight Black hair.

Gilder

• The Bear: seems to be one of those with his 6'6, hunky stature. The cast page calls him one, too.
• Bi the Way: was a bit disappointed to hear Linneus is not a lady creature, but was happy to try him in any case
• Covered with Scars
• Seme: A very nice subversion. He sure is a dominant guy but he's much nicer and lovable than the usual archetype.

Others

• Zephyr Langston, Rhys' captain of the Guard
• Evelyn D'Ivore, Rhys' sister
• Gloria Elizabeth Averill Buckley, Rhys' fiancee and Reed's cousin
• Vann Ezra Brennan Bryson, Gloria's valet
• Yvette Atros, Xanthe's wife