Stupid Sexy Flanders

It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!

"I fly to Los Angeles. I am seated across the aisle from Kurt Russell. Now, listen: I am a happily married man. But I am not embarrassed to say that Kurt Russell is an extremely handsome man. And apparently he grew his eye back since he escaped from New York."

—John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require

You are completely heterosexual, you are very much attracted to the opposite sex and you certainly aren't gay. But, y'know, there are some examples of the same sex who you can't help but admire. You can appreciate good looks and a sexy body regardless of gender. If taken far enough you just might say something that sounds wrong even in context. Indignation usually follows.

This often doesn't mean anything significant regarding your overall sexual orientation, though often you are just as caught off guard as the people around you. When applied to specific individuals who tend to provoke this response to people in general, see Even the Guys Want Him and Even the Girls Want Her.

If done enough times as a Running Gag, writers actually planning to out a character later can use this as Foreshadowing. In some of these cases, this may be caused by a Closet Key. If it's taken seriously but isn't a set up for a reveal about the character's sexuality, it can sometimes lead to If It's You, It's Okay.

Nearly all Wholesome Crossdressers, and many Bifauxnen are subject to this gag at least once. (The "It's a Trap" internet meme is often used to refer to characters who cause this trope in audience members.) Occasionally, the "victim" is given peace of mind by discovering their totally platonic (really!) crush is really Sweet Polly Oliver.

This is Truth in Television, with women being much more open about it. Quite frankly, if a guy were to say something like that to another, more often than not, the response would be, "What are you, gay?" However, gay men are generally more likely than lesbians to joke about who they would switch teams for.

Trope Namer (and the picture above) comes from one of Homer Simpson's quotes from The Simpsons. While he's attempting to recall his skiing lessons, his mind shifts to a skin-tight ski suit-wearing Ned Flanders moments prior, who waggles his buttocks while exclaiming the suit makes it feel like he's "wearing nothing at all". Cue Squick from Homer and the trope invoked.

The term "GAR" (always in capitals) is used to describe a male character who induces this through sheer badassery.

Compare Dude Looks Like a Lady, Gay Moment, Even the Guys Want Him.

Examples of Stupid Sexy Flanders include:

Anime & Manga

  • In episode 12 of Student Council's Discretion, Ken is afflicted with a case of Stupid Sexy Flanders when Nakameguro shows up.
  • The eponymous character of Hayate the Combat Butler is known to have androgynous features and has induced many a Stupid Sexy Flanders moment among guys every time he is forced to crossdress.
  • Several instances in Sailor Moon even after Haruka Tenoh is revealed to be a woman.
  • In the harem comedy Ai Kora, Handsome Lech protagonist Maeda is freaked out to learn that New Transfer Student Haiji Kikuno is a bisexual Love Freak who has the hots for him because of his "pure heart". Maeda is further freaked out when he learns Haiji has his ideal butt.
  • The Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann short "Viral's Sweet Dream" is pretty much all about Viral's issues with this.

Viral: Why was I dreaming of Kamina!? Well, I guess I'm allowed to have sweet dr-NO, NO! NOT SWEET! NOT SWEET!

  • In Ranma ½, most of Ranma's classmates find themselves attracted to his female form, even though they know that he's really a guy. The reason for this is most likely that he's susceptible to extreme Clothing Damage, especially in his female form, and that his curse actually gives him the real body of a girl.
    • To quote one chapter of the manga, "We don't care! She's still hot!" ... much to the disgust of the female classmates.
  • Also present in Urusei Yatsura, most notably with Ryuunosuke, who gets hit on from both ends... the girls, who know damn well she's a girl, love her because she cuts the figure of a bishonen man so well, and the guys love her... well... because they're horndogs, and know that she has an impressive-sized bust when her boobs aren't tied down.
  • Domon Kasshu, from G Gundam. He and his fellow Gundam Fighters get a seriously Fanservicey Transformation Sequence (Stock Footage, even) and Latex Space Suit duds much like the Trope Namer's ski outfit. The relief of heterosexual male fans was palpable when a female Gundam Fighter was introduced with her own Transformation Sequence.
  • Lockon Stratos of Mobile Suit Gundam 00 had the Fan Nickname "Stupid Sexy Lockon". Take that as you will.
  • Basically the entire premise of Maria Holic, in which the lesbian protagonist transfers to a girl's school so she can be around a lot of pretty girls - and is very very annoyed when the prettiest girl turns out to be a cruel, rude, crossdressing boy... and she still gets nosebleeds when he flaunts his femininity
  • Girls Bravo: In season 2 episode 6,the main character Yukinari is forced to dress up as a girl, in order to host a gaming tournament. His disguise is so convincing that even the local pervert Fukuyama mistakes him for a pretty girl. This makes for one of the most humorous scenes in anime when Fukuyama finds out his true gender. Watch the moment of truth here.
  • No Bra is a delightful little manga about two male childhood friends who move away from each other and don't see one another again until they're all grown up... The protagonist stays largely the same as he was before, just taller, but his friend Yuki...
  • Naruto's Hatake Kakashi is widely suggested to be handsome underneath his mask. It's enough to make a ramen waitress, and her father, blush.
    • Some fanboys with crushes can still be found trying to deny that Deidara's a man.
      • The same goes for Haku.
    • In episode 53 the normally straight Jiraiya tells Naruto after seeing him in just his boxers (japanese version) "You're quite sexy when you're naked." and (english version) "You know, you have quite a tight sexy little body."
  • Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple: Upon meeting Natsu Tanimoto, Kenichi spends as much time worrying that he'll steal Miu as he does just being utterly floored by his good looks.

Kenichi: Oh my god, I can see roses.

"What is this, this ticklish and itchy feeling?"
"Love?"
"AAAAAARGH!"

  • Hideyoshi Kinoshita from Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu who looks like a girl, speaks like an old samurai and (tries to) act like a guy, all but insists he's male but has about as much success in convincing people as Bridget or Ranmaru. This leads to quite a few awkward moments, especially when he gets chosen to be the official "round girl" for the summoning war in episode two of the anime. One joke is that "Hideyoshi" has become its own gender designation within the story as both men and women object to him changing in the men's room, and Hideyoshi himself refuses to enter the women's room..
  • Konori Mii from A Certain Scientific Railgun provoked this from everyone in episode 13 while in her swimsuit, including Kongo Mitsuko's snake. No small feat, considering the other girls were already strutting some nice guns in their swimsuits, and let's not get into Kuroko's Barely-There Swimwear...
  • Bakemonogatari: At one point, Psycho Lesbian Suruga admits she'd totally date Koyomi if he didn't already have Senjogahara.
    • It may or may not make it an even stronger example since she was in love with Senjogahara herself.
  • In one episode of Natsume Yuujinchou, Natsume gets possessed by a female youkai who occasionally surfaced through his voice and mannerism. Kitamoto and Tanuma can't help but find the result uncomfortably attractive. There's also the time where, without any sort of supernatural aid, he managed to fluster a lesbian.

Hinoe:...Dammit, you look so much like Reiko! Why do you have to be a man!?

  • One Piece: Nami calls Kalifa a sexy secretary who she'd be "happy to have" as her own secretary before remembering she's not a Dirty Old Man. The yuri fandom rejoiced.
    • Then there's Ivankov. DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF GOD. See here. What's wrong with that, you may ask? Well, that's only Iva-sama when he's in a "feminine mood." When he's a guy, he's... well, the one in the middle. Note that he is wearing the same clothes.
  • Happiness!: The entire male population of the school is conflicted between the knowledge that Jun is a guy, and the fact that he makes a very convincing girl.
  • Schrödinger in Hellsing.
  • Death Note: The live action movie gives us the Spaceland bus driver describing Light as "quite a good looking guy-not that I'm into guys..."
  • In Trigun, one of the Roderick Thieves, Nagi, gets a bit slap-happy when he sees one of the slaves they've just captured eyeing Legato for too long. The Vice-Chief is pretty sure he knows what about Legato is making Nagi so antsy.

Vice-Chief: I get it. He's almost horrifyingly handsome, but you're too cruel.

  • Otomen: Ooji Suzaku's sheer sex appeal makes even Kasuga flustered. His nickname is "Prince Pheromone."
  • The eponymous character from Kunisaki Izumo no Jijou looks so much like a girl that he tends to attract unwanted attention from men, much to his chagrin.
  • Ranmarou from Ikoku Irokoi Romantan. Gondou, who is straight and in love with Kaouru, is tempted by him.


Comics

  • Daken was this to Venom and Bullseye in Dark Avengers.
    • Except for the fact that it is later revealed that Daken is very VERY gay. Or at least bi.
      • Oh he's very Bi. He also emits pheromones which can make him influence people of the opposite gender. Making his Stupid Sexy Flanders a superpower.
  • Deadpool, as it turns out, has a giant squealing fanboy crush on Thor.

Thor: You will be handed over to the authorities. Imprisonment shall be yours. The fate of a thief.
Deadpool: I REALLY FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE!
Thor: ...
Deadpool: Did I Just Say That Out Loud??

  • One issue of Spider-Man had the titular hero go headfirst through the windshield of a car where one male police officer is commenting about Spider-Man's form-fitting costume to his male partner. After a beat panel, the first officer points out Spider-Man's toned butt.
  • Willow engenders this reaction in Buffy's roommate Anaheed in Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 9 #1:

"That's what ragers are for! Your friends are sweet, and wild, and Willow has made me bi-curious but don't tell her that."


Fan Fiction

  • Nobody Dies has this occur in chapter 14 with Ritsuko having thoughts about Maya in a plugsuit. What makes it notable is that not only is a direct homage to the trope-naming scene, it helps her come to terms with her sexuality and paves the way for an eventual Relationship Upgrade with Maya.

Misato took things into her own hands, packed up the adult novelties into the largest crate she could find and had them launch it via Eva catapult into the Pacific. Maya looked heartbroken but carried on, and Ritsuko stares at her computer and sighs.
"It's like I'm wearing nothing at all."
A grimace, image of her assistant's nicely toned posterior in blue spandex passing her vision.
"Nothing At All."
Shaking a bit as she walks.
"NOTHING AT ALL."
She sighs. Rubbing the bridge of her nose and slumping back into her chair, she rests her folded hands on her lap and shrugs.
"Stupid sexy Maya," she says, "Well, alright. I guess I'm a lesbian."
A bump against a wall and Ritsuko turns, just as Maya quickly gathers up her folders and runs back into the hallway. Akagi could swear she heard the girl squeal.

  • Mentioned briefly in Princess; Julien is a female-to-male transsexual, and can pass as male quite easily to anyone who doesn't know enough about lemurs to tell the difference. To other lemurs, however, it's a different matter, and surgery isn't really an option for him. Maurice mentions how awkward it is to work for a male-identified king who so strongly resembles an attractive female.
  • Respawn of the Dead has a Shout-Out to the Trope Namer, except he actually is wearing nothing at all at the time.

“Stupid pretty Medic[.]”


Films

  • Victor Victoria, a musical about a woman who poses as a female impersonator, features a gangster who agonizes about his attraction to the title character's "male" persona.
    • Sort of a subversion, since he never for a second believes that she is really a man, and spends most of the film trying to prove otherwise.
  • Mugatu from Zoolander does this for a Catch Phrase whenever Hansel shows up. Although he is played as Ambiguously Gay, the remark comes off as very matter-of-fact rather than genuinely interested.
    • "It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!"
  • Played for laughs in Orgazmo:

Dave the Lighting Guy: Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think you got a hot ass!
Dave the Lighting Guy: I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns kick ass!
Dave the Lighting Guy: I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I'd kinda like to make love to you!

"Elvis looked good. I mean, I ain't no fag, but Elvis was prettier than most women, you know? [...] You know, I always said if I had to fuck a guy [...] if my life depended on it, I'd fuck Elvis."

Borat: You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?

Literature

  • Seregil of the Nightrunner series is a Bishounen with a tendency to cause these moments among his male friends, either while he's disguised as a woman or dressed provocatively. For one friend in particular, the awkward moments are indeed foreshadowing for subsequent gayness.
  • Raziel is very prone to giving Biff some of these in Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff. Sure, Biff hasn't been laid in about 2,000 years, but sometimes you have to wonder. There's even a scene Biff demands to see his angel-junk before the straight part of his brain realizes when he's doing and makes him stop. He insists it was purely curiosity. We completely believe him on this. Raziel is also literally stupid, and is described as being as dumb as a sack of hammers.
  • Terry Pratchett very explicitly lampshades the "man cross-dressing is beautiful" trope in Jingo before utterly and wonderfully subverting it. The man in question is Nobby Nobbs, who carries a card signed by the Patrician certifying that he is almost certainly human. Because it's often necessary.
    • He is extremely reluctant to change out of his female clothing, and afterwards Nobby is, for reasons never adequately explained (well, except for Rule of Funny), prone to volunteering to be used as the ostensibly female bait in any "sting" operation. Despite the fact that the beautiful and actually female (and hypercompetent, as she's also a werewolf) Angua is also in the Watch, and is frequently partnered with Nobby for these operations. Very few people actually have Stupid Sexy Flanders reactions to Nobby, despite his expectations.
  • Harry Potter: It's worth mentioning that Harry himself has a lot of Stupid Sexy Flanders moments when Bill Weasley is around, and when watching Tom Riddle in the Pensieve. And at least one moment with Cedric Diggory... and he pretty much can't refer to Sirius's teenage self without dropping the word "handsome."
    • From the fourth film, Parvati Patil seems to have one when Hermione walks down the stairs all dolled up for the Yule Ball. Her jaw drops and she exclaims "she looks beautiful".


Live Action TV

  • Probably the best example of this is Ace Rimmer from Red Dwarf "What a guy!"
    • Indeed, the ostensibly straight alternative universe Kryten went so far as to proposition Ace.
  • Early plans for Buffy the Vampire Slayer included having one of the Scoobies come out as gay (logically, either Willow (who eventually did) or Xander (who didn't)). The former's chances became markedly increased with occurrences of this trope after her Evil Doppelganger episode, in which Real Willow comments, "I'm so evil and skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay."
    • From the same verse: In one of the early episodes of Angel, this bit of dialogue occurs with Doyle, otherwise shown to be straight:

Doyle: Just look at him, going out to fight evil, his long coat swinging behind him in a mysterious and attractive manner...
Cordelia: Do you need a moment?
Doyle: I'm not saying I'm attracted, but...
(Angel comes into the office, says some heroic-sounding stuff, and marches off with his coat swinging in slo-mo.)
Doyle: Maybe I'm a little attracted.

    • In "Superstar", everyone in Jonathan's world is hot for Jonathan. Buffy, looking for clues, asks Giles if he has a Jonathan Swimsuit Calendar. He replies "No! ...yes. It was a gift!"
    • Xander has a few of these moments.

Xander: No one is judging you. It's understandable! Spike is strong and mysterious, and sort of compact, but well-muscled...
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be!

  • iCarly: Carly and Sam agree: Tasha's hot.
  • Whether or not you ship Merlin/Arthur, watch this scene and tell me Merlin isn't blushing.
  • Chandler's reaction to a photograph of Tag in an episode of Friends. "Wa-ha-how! Don't show this picture to Monica! And please don't tell her about the 'Wa-ha-how!'"
    • Also in Friends, once when they found out that Phoebe spoke French, Rachel said, "Oh! You're so sexy!"
    • In another episode, Phoebe was stunned upon seeing Monica in lingerie, saying that she had "the breasts of a Greek goddess."
    • There's also one episode where Denise Richards plays Ross's cousin, and all the guys (yes, even Ross) are turned on by her. Every time she shows up on screen, there's cheesy-sexy music playing on the backgroud, while her hair floats. The episode ends with her showing up at Phoebe's house, who opens the door, has the exact same reaction as the guys (cheese-sexy music, etc), and having an inner monologue that ends with Go for it! She's not YOUR cousin!
  • One episode of Will and Grace has a woman causing this reaction in Camp Gay Jack. (Turns out, to his relief, that it was a male Crossdresser.)
    • If it's the episode I think you're referring to, it was actually a transitioning transsexual (if in fact you're referring to Jack getting an erection from the stripper cop during Will's friend's bachelor party), who was "Karla from the waist up, and Karl from the waist down" until The Operation.
  • On The Colbert Report, one of Stephen Colbert's threat-down's was "threats to his heterosexuality" and number one on the list was "attractive men" such as Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt. As he puts it, "I'm not gay, but I'm human."
  • In one of the countless Keen Eddie bromance gags, Monty encourages Eddie to to yet again stand up their intimidating boss Superintendent Johnson, and says, "It kind of scares me, but I like it." He adds that it's what he's looking for in a relationship, and that he thinks he's attracted to Eddie. Later, during the confrontation in Johnson's office, Monty tries to make a quick exit before the shit hits the fan, and means to tell Eddie "I'll leave you" on his way out. But, it comes out, "I love you.".
  • Quantum Leap featured a variation: the first time Sam leaped into a woman, Al was quite disturbed to find himself attracted to his friend's new body. One possible explanation given was "latent homosexual tendencies," which he immediately dismissed. Oddly enough, it never happens again despite Sam leaping into a few other women over the course of the show.
    • Those later episodes also indicate that Al sees Sam as Sam, not the person he leapt into, while the opposite was true in the episode mentioned above. Fanon guesses that the "disturbing attraction" incident led the Project to fine-tune the connection between Al and Sam so it wouldn't happen again.
  • The 30 Rock episode "Believe in the Stars" has Tracy dressing up as a white woman to prove a point. When he runs into Frank and Toofer, he asks, "Do ya think I'm sexy?" in a high girly voice. Frank laughs, "C'mon Tracy, we know it's you," then swallows hard and says, "And yes."
    • When Liz guesses (wrongly) that Elisa's dark secret is that she is a man, Elisa retorts 'Do you want to see me naked?" Liz's response? "Sort of." Of course, Elisa is played by Salma Hayek.
    • In another episode, Liz and Frank fall for the same delivery boy, leading Frank down a journey of self-discovery.
      • From the same episode:

Liz: No, that's not a thing, you can't be gay for just one person... unless you're a lady... and you meet Ellen.

Hugh Laurie: You look absolutely great! If I was homosexual I'd want to buy you a drink, at the very least.
Fascist: Thanks. If I was homosexual I'd have a pint of lager.
(awkward pause)
Hugh: As it is, I like birds.
Fascist: Me too!

  • House and Wilson appraising coworker Chase:

House: [on Chase] Little girls who kiss frogs expect them to turn into you.
Chase: C’mon! I’m not that good-looking.
House: Yeah, you are.
Wilson: [agrees] You kinda are.

  • Remember, you're not gay if you think Rudy is hot.
  • Phoebe, during her brief time as The Empath, nearly had to flee the room during one episode of Charmed because of a man who had the hots for her sister Piper.
  • In "Tommy's Not Gay" of Titus, Titus has a moment in the neutral space where he talks about how everyone has had at least one moment where they are flipping through a Muscle Magazine "'cause you're a man" and upon seeing a well-toned man, he talks about his large biceps, ripped abs, and he briefly starts swaying his hips before he realized what he was doing. Throwing the magazine while screaming, he quickly did five push-ups and walked off, talking about going to a strip-club.
  • An episode of the American Breakfast Time had Suzanne Whang interview Talisa Soto when the Mortal Kombat film came out; when they sit down on the couch, Suzanne does a double-take, is momentarily rendered speechless and says "OH! I'm sorry, I was startled by how beautiful you are!"
  • In later seasons of That '70s Show, Fez obviously had a man-crush on Kelso. To the point that, in one episode, he saw an erotic dream about Kelso, too disturbing even for him (and for Kelso too, after he learns) . As Fez later mentions, his admiration of Kelso's looks is "purely aesthetic".
  • Mr. B Natural

Joel: (swooning) Oh, Mr. B...

  • Cory in The House: Cory finds himself lusting after a pair of chiseled legs in a pair of Daisy Dukes, only to find, to his eternal Squick, that they belong to one Jason Stickler.
  • During Lita's run as a color commentator for WWE, she invoked this when Molly Holly (who was known for dressing conservatively) came out in a relatively low-cut top. Of course, Lita sounded wooden and completely uninterested - even more so than usual - which ruined the effect.
  • In the comedic Supernatural Season 5 episode "Changing Channels," the Trickster starts throwing Sam and Dean into different TV shows (and each is a thinly-veiled Affectionate Parody of an existing TV show and/or genre) in an attempt to get them to "play their roles" in the Apocalypse. He first tosses them into Dean's Guilty Pleasure show, Dr. Sexy, M. D., which is a nice Take That to Grey's Anatomy. When Dean sees Dr. Sexy walking down the hallway, he immediately gets all flustered and embarrassed and looks at him in an admiring and slightly flirty way. It turns out to be the Trickster in disguise and Dean figures it out because "what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is that he wears cowboy boots, not tennis shoes!"
  • How could we forget Michael Scott's epic mancrush on Ryan the Temp on the U.S. version of The Office? He gives Ryan the "Hottest Office Member" Dundie award, openly admits he'd sleep with Ryan (in "The Fire"), and calls Ryan "sweetcheeks" once in Season 3. And there are many more examples.
  • Seinfeld - George gets all anxious and upset after he gets a massage from a male therapist...when someone mentions Evander Holyfield and how he's a good-looking man, George gets worse...then more so seeing a poster of Holyfield.
  • On How I Met Your Mother Lily mentions that her friend Robin (who is a woman) is many things: "Friend, confidante, occasional guest star in some confusing dreams that remind me a woman's sexuality is a moving target."
  • In "Anatomy of a Murder" Castle conspires on how a saucy love triangle might have led to a doctor's death when this happens:

Beckett: How much TV do you actually watch?
Castle: Enough to know that this nurse McClintock will probably be super hot.
[the very hot but also very male nurse McClintock appears]
Castle: Not what I was expecting, but no, I'll stand by it.

Topanga: If it's any consolation, I think you can do a lot better than Jennifer Bassett.
Shawn: You think so?
Cory: Wait a minute, Topanga, have you looked at her?
Topanga: Okay, so she's pretty, she's tall, she drives a red new convertible, oh heck, I'd go out with her.

  • Glee: As of 3.02, Mike finds Kurt's sashaying super distracting. Also, in "Hold On To Sixteen" Santana, a lesbian, says that even she felt something stirring in her "lady loins" when she saw Sam do that "magic sex dance".
  • From Sherlock, while John repeatedly insists he's not gay and Sherlock is Not His Boyfriend, he basically admits to finding Sherlock's cheekbones 'cool and mysterious' in The Hounds of Baskerville. Of course, this is Benedict Cumberbatch.
  • In "Parks and Recreation", Leslie Knope has mentioned uses the term "beautiful" to describe her best friend Anne on a fairly frequent basis.

Music

  • Roy Zimmerman's song Dick Cheney (Sexiest Man Alive) is about this trope.

I'm not gay... but there's always the one guy.

  • A song by Draco and the Malfoys titled "Tom Felton's Kinda Hot" embodies this particular trope.

And even though I'm straight, I'm not ashamed to say: Tom Felton's kinda hot.

  • The band Gay For Johnny Depp (http://www.gayforjohnnydepp.com/)
  • The Of Montreal's song Tim, I Wish You Were Born a Girl
  • Visual Kei singers often inspire this. Some of the most common to draw this reaction are Yoshiki, Taiji,Miyavi, and Hizaki
  • The album cover of George Hrab's Interrobang.
  • Dani Shay sometimes has this effect on straight girls.Here
  • Flight of the Conchords has the song "Bret, You've Got it Going On" in which Jermaine attempts to cheer up Bret.
  • Voltaire seems to have a bit of this for Keanu Reeves in the song Future Ex-Girlfriend.

And no one cares that you love Keanu / oh what's the difference anyway / everybody knows he's gay / okay, I don't really know that / but let's face it, he's too hot to be straight


Stand-Up Comedy

  • Louis CK has a routine about having this reaction to Ewan McGregor in his special "Shameless".
  • Jamie Foxx has an extended routine exploring this happening when he met Prince. While ice skating.
  • Ron White has a routine about pointing this tendency out to a homophobic friend cousin.

Ron: Look, we're all gay. It's just different degrees.
Ray: No way, man! I'm not gay.
Ron: Okay, do you like watching porn?
Ray: You know I love porn.
Ron: Do you only watch the kind that's two women?
Ray: No way, man! I like watching a man and a woman makin' love.
Ron: Okay, do you like it best if the man is tiny and flaccid?
Ray: No way, man! I like big, hard, throbbing... huh. I did not know that about myself.

Jimmy: Remember that other guy in it, Jude Law? Well, ever since I saw that movie...I think...I could be queer for him. And have never had a homosexual feeling ever in my life (that I ever acknowledged). I mean, he was beautiful, he was prettier than the girls in that movie! And it caught me surprise; I'm watching the movie and I find myself going, "I wonder what he's gonna wear in the next scene. I hope it's linen. Ooooh, it's a pancake hat on a scooter! FRICKIN' HOT, THIS GUY!"

  • This an a lot more of male insecurities are the central theme in ¿Quien Pidio Pollo?, a stand up comedy by the colombian actor Antonio Sanint.


Video Games

  • Archer, of course—he's the character the term "GAR" was invented for. In story, Tohsaka gets turned on by Saber at a few points.
    • Lancer also causes this for a number of fans, including the (male) artist of the manga, who calls him "the sexiest man in the game."
  • Bridget's third ending in the story mode of Guilty Gear XX involves him (a boy in a nun habit) fighting Johnny, a lady's man who flirts with everything remotely female in his path. Johnny flirts with Bridget before the fight... and then collapses in abject horror afterwards, on realizing what he just did.
  • This is apparently a problem for players of Metal Gear Solid, which carried over to Snake's appearance in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. The fact that his Final Smash does end up putting his ass in your face doesn't help (neither does the fact that the section about it on Nintendo's official site actually has a screenshot paused on that one moment). On the Brawl official site, there's one shot of him manhandling Ike in an ambiguous manner, one shot of him posing serenely while fondling the rocket launcher resting between his legs, and one shot of him kicking at the camera with what probably qualifies as 'upskirt'. Four of the other screenshots have his incredibly shapely buttocks right at the focal point of the picture, as well as his "Congratulations!" screen when you beat Classic mode, and his pose on the character scroll in the opening cinematic, and his pose whenever he loses a match. For a manly male character, he does a lot of cheesecake.
  • For some bizarre reason, a certain Image Board with a not-hidden gay crush on Snake also has this problem with the Medic from Team Fortress 2.
  • In an odd femme jealousy subversion of this, Serra from Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword starts trying to lay out terms of being around the camp to this beautiful blond girl who just joined their ranks. During the conversation Serra discovers this beautiful blond girl is a Monk named Lucius, and Lucius is quite certain he is in fact a monk, and male. However, given he looks like this it's hard to blame her for her conclusion.
    • There are a lot of characters who face the viewer in their official art. They do not, however, follow Legault's method of planting a smirk on his face and looking like he enjoys the attention. And posing rather seductively.
  • Link from The Legend of Zelda has caused this in a few straight male fans. The pantslessness of some incarnations of him only adds to it. Perhaps not coincidentally, he's a very popular target for Gender Bender art.
    • Beyond that, he was even voted by "Out" Magazine as the Hottest Video Game Character, complete with this quote: "When darkness enshrouds the land, Nintendo's sexy farm-boy-turned-wolf sets out to save the day in this upcoming game. His weapons: a sword, a bow, arrows and kick-ass grooming skills." Cue the insecure fanboy cries of "I'M LINK'S NOT GAY, DAMMIT!"
    • And on the girls' side we have Sheik. Many a fangirl were not happy to find that Princess Zelda Dropped A Bridget On Them. The infamous Gannon Banned website even has, "not accepting that Sheik is a most epic Reverse Trap," as one of their Gannon-Bannable offenses.
  • In Mask of the Betrayer, a male PC with a high enough Charisma stat can catch Gann in one of these.
  • Airforce Delta Strike: Most of the male characters have have physiques more in line with professional body-builders or fitness instructors than pilots. It could be Mr. Fanservice turned Up to Eleven if not for being able to legitimately ask if any women have ever played the game.
  • Going by his later reference to the "strapping blood elf," Martek in World of Warcraft is not confused about the gender of that one "hot babe" in his tall tale. He just doesn't seem to care.
  • Garrus of Mass Effect 2 is known to induce this in otherwise straight male fans of the series (and at least some lesbians) due to essentially being Turian Batman with a dash of Adorkable thrown in.
  • Arty from Lufia II. In the German version he was even changed into a girl.


Web Comics

  • According to the rules of El Goonish Shive, any straight Gender Bender becomes bisexual for the duration. Also, the "Female Variant Five" setting (and Ellen's 'Venus' beam based on it), in addition to turning men into exceptionally beautiful women and making women more, er, "womanly", makes the victim extremely attractive to any non-relative, whether they like girls or not, for 48 hours (of a 30-day duration). Unsurprisingly, these two things lead to lots of Stupid Sexy Flanders moments, most notably when the revelation that it only lasts the first 48 hours causes a lesbian to come out of denial. And then there's Tedd without his glasses, a borderline Wholesome Crossdresser (albeit an unintentional one). However, Justin, who is gay, doesn't actually think he's attractive to him (or other gay men).
    • As explained in the comic, Ted is TOO girly for gay men to find attractive. Straight men, on the other hand...
    • It's hard to say if this version from El Goonish Shive is a subversion, inversion, reversion, or just plain weird. female!Elliot objects to his girlfriend ogling male!Susan, leading to the following exchange:

Sarah: I'm sorry, Elliot, but look at him!
female!Elliot: ...yeah, I guess he is hot.
female!Tedd: Um, dude...?
female!Elliot: What? I'm wearing a skirt, and I have boobs. I'm not going to start worrying about my manly image now.

    • Noah has been informed in the past that he has this ability:

Noah: I've been told I could make straight men see rainbows.

Aragorn: Your character is seriously hot. She's hawt with a capital "HAW".
Legolas: My character is a man!
Aragorn: Your character portrait says differently. ME-OW!

    • I'd argue he's just attracted to elves, full stop; sure, he didn't mistake Elrond or Celeborn for hot ladies, but he didn't pay attention in any of their scenes. He did pay attention to Haldir's arrival at Helm's Deep, and assumed him to be a sexy spy for Saruman, leading to the line:

Theoden: Aragorn, we are in no position to turn away friends, no matter how disturbingly attractive you find them!

Hazel: No... no, I don't like boobs... I don't like boobs!
Attendant: Everybody likes boobs, honey.


Web Original

*slapping himself* BOOBS! You like BOOBS!

"God, I'd go gay for that voice."

  • While she can't stand the movie, The Nostalgia Chick mentions a few times that Pocahontas is extremely hot.
  • Spoony wasn't worried about being gay, but a different sexual kink: He was just ranting against gamers who consider the underaged Rikku hot, when they slip in a pictue of a *ahem* well devloped cosplayer in a kinky Rikku costume, distracting Spoony for a moment before cursing the 'Stupid Sexy Cosplayers'.
  • Homestar Runner does an annual review/mocking of photos of fan-made HSR costumes. In the 2005 edition, Strong Bad was baffled by a hot woman dressed in a Homestar costume. ("Hot Homestar?! My brain is splitting in half!") He screams and runs away when the real Homestar walks in, offers him a back rub, and calls him "sweetie".
  • During his review of Ninja Gaiden 2, Yahtzee reminds us all that Cliff Blezinsky is an extremely sexy man.
  • Happy Viking has this reaction to the members of Týr, who like to play shirtless.
  • There's some Touhou fanart out there of Marisa thinking about stupid sexy Flandre.
  • Cracked.com's columnists (male and female) seem to have a giant crush on fellow columnist Soren Bowie, sometimes seemingly using any excuse to include photos of him in an article.


Western Animation

Ned: Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all!

    • Also happened in the episode "Lisa the Tree Hugger".

Homer: This is all your fault, with your non-threatening Bobby Sherman-style good looks! No girl can resist your charm!
Jesse: This was her choice Mr. Simpson.
Homer: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, I was lost in your eyes.

    • There's another example in The Movie, where Ralph Wiggum, after seeing Bart naked, proclaims "I like men now!"
    • In "Hungry Hungry Homer", while Homer is convincing Sherri to go to a dance with Bart.

Homer: Who would you rather go with?
Sherri: Tommy.
Homer: Well, duh! He's breathtaking.

    • Averted with Hans Moleman. Nobody's gay for him.
      • Except in Three Gays of the Condo.

Gay Man in Military Costume: You're coming home with me!
Moleman: Yes, Colonel.

  • In Clone High, this happens when Joan of Arc disguises herself as 'John Dark' to get closer to Abe by joining the basketball team. This backfires when JFK starts to question his orientation...
    • Lampshaded as thoroughly as possible:

Joan of Arc (in an obviously fake deep voice, wearing an obviously fake moustache but still otherwise a teenaged girl): "My name is John Dark."
George Washington Carver: "As in Jeanne d'Arc, the French name for Joan of Arc?"
Joan: "No, nothing like that" (shifty eyes).

  • In SpongeBob SquarePants, when Squidward tries to picture his rival, Squilliam, in his underwear (in order to face Squilliam face to face), he realizes that "Oh no, He's hot!"
  • Owen couldn't stop staring at Justin in the first season of Total Drama Island. Then again every girl on the show couldn't stop either.
  • The US-made Darkstalkers cartoon made a Running Gag of nearly all the other characters, of either gender, saying Rikuo/Aulbath was "curiously attractive, for a fish man." ("sighs So I've been told.")
  • The Fairly OddParents: Upon seeing Mr. Turner in a speedo, Dinkleberg remarks "Hey, looking good Turner!"
    • From the Ms. Dimmsdales pagent.

Catman: Say, think I can get her phone number?
Timmy: That's no she, that's my Dad!
Catman: So you have it then?

    • Mr. Turner thinks teen pop sensation Chip Skylark is delicious and considers Mr. Crocker gorgeous (though hates him for it, thinking Crocker is eyeballing his wife).
  • The "Christian Rock Hard" episode of South Park. Although parodies, the lyrics of some of Cartman's songs are pretty clear examples...

Whenever I see Jesus, up on that cross, I can't help but think that He looks kinda hot...
I wanna get down on my knees, and start pleasing Jesus: I wanna feel His salvation, all over my face...
And of course - Body of Christ! Sleek swimmer's body, all muscled-up and toned...

  • Octus has one of these moments regarding Lance in the Sym-Bionic Titan episode "Phantom Ninja". When Ilana remarks that she doesn't get what the girls at school see in Lance, Octus replies:

“Dark hair. Bedroom eyes. Moody demeanor. I totally get it.“

  • In the Dan Vs.. episode "Family Camping Trip", Dan has moments like this with Elise's ex, Colby.
  • Scaredy Squirrel antagonist: Nester.
  • In the Oggy and the Cockroaches episode "Face Off", Joey see a picture of a live-action human. Wich he swaped Jack's photo of Oggy and has meaty doctor turns him into that picture. After the operation, Nurses swoon over the live-action human faced Oggy.
  • Beezy to TCFM on Jimmy Two-Shoes. Then again, that may be because he looked just like him.
  • In Family Guy Peter somehow ended up sleeping with Bill Clinton after he slept with Lois.


Real Life

  • A Truth in Television. According to some studies hardly anyone is completely heterosexual or completely homosexual, and so it can happen that someone who mostly prefers people of the opposite sex can have sexual fantasies about people of the same sex, and vice versa.
    • Arthur C. Clarke said it best: "I think we're all polymorphously perverse to some degree."
  • Music producer Steve Binder expressed this regarding Elvis:

Steve: "I'm straight as an arrow and I got to tell you, you stop, whether you're male or female, to look at him. He was that good looking. And if you never knew he was a superstar, it wouldn't make any difference; if he'd walked in the room, you'd know somebody special was in your presence."

Nothing at all!

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