Fetish Retardant

"Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess."

—How Not to Write A Novel

Sometimes sexy things happen in a show. Sometimes they're not entirely intended that way, but end up being made out as such.

Sometimes the setup is there, but something kills it. Replacing a love scene's music with Thunder and Blazes circus clown music will rapidly turn something appealing into something bizarre, absolutely wrecking any gratification the viewer might get out of it.

The writer might not realize that their knowledge of the reproductive system is limited at best. Or the exotic elements could just be overwhelmed by good ol' fashioned Nightmare Fuel. Fetish Retardant thus applies only when the unsexiness is entirely unintended, perhaps making something like a sexual Narm moment. If the retarding is something added in on purpose to keep the scene from being sexy, that's Fan Disservice (though this can backfire spectacularly.)

It's important to remember, however, that there is no such thing as complete Fetish Retardant, because if it exists, somebody will find it arousing in spite of any efforts to make it unappealing.

Subtropes include No Yay, IKEA Erotica, and Mills and Boon Prose. When this happens In-Universe, it's a kind of Moment Killer.

Buffy Speak, Inherently Funny Words and Unusual Euphemisms are major causes of Fetish Retardant in written erotica.

Contrast Rule of Sexy (although it can become this when it fails). When this is inverted, it's Think Unsexy Thoughts. Naturally, these are Subjective, so there's no need to keep contesting entries.

No real life examples, please; just like everything is a fetish to somebody, everything is Fetish Retardant to somebody. We'd be here all day.

Examples of Fetish Retardant include:

Advertising

  • A Carl Jr's ad depicting Miss Turkey... Wearing a Bikini... while showing their burgers... on close up. Squick indeed.

Anime and Manga

  • The Zetsuai 1989 OAVs have an... odd art style, especially for the supposed Bishonen Yaoi Guys who end up having spider-leg fingers and chins so pointy they could be used as weapons. Just take a look at the picture shown in this review and decide if you'd find that sexy. ("When you're screaming at the screen for the bishounen to put his shirt back ON, you know there's something wrong.")
  • The first few seconds of Episode 11 of Innocent Venus feature Toraji's bare, incredibly-muscled ass.
  • GaoGaiGar FINAL ramped up the Fan Service, but it felt extremely out of place and weird, even becoming Squick in the case of Pilnus.
  • Oddly, most of the Fan Service involving women in One Piece. The context of the scenes and the odd proportions might be contributing factors for some people.
  • The Gainaxing in Umineko no Naku Koro ni goes from merely annoying to downright tasteless at certain points. It's like Rosa and Ange are the only women in the series who have ever heard of a bra. In context, due to their ignorant or immortal (really old) natures... they just might be.
  • A Doujinshi featuring Tsuruya (whose Verbal Tics include the non-words 'megas' and 'nyoro') was Scanlated into English. One page contains the immortal words 'My breasts... megassa squeeze them.' Okay. Not necessarily this trope on its own, if you're pretty permissive about the quality of scanlations. But someone (most likely the discoverer of this Brown Note) on 4chan's /a/ (anime) board repeated the phrase along with a picture of Star Wars' Jar Jar Binks. The reactions... well, phrases like 'CAN'T UNHEAR IT' and 'will never remember anything associated with one without recalling the other and losing all pretense of attraction due to laughing/being revolted' probably get close.
  • Yaoi example: Kizuna. Enjouji, PLEASE take off your socks before having sex with Ranmaru, okay?
  • Sexual Frustration With a Horse (a G Gundam doujin, of all things) applies Toon Physics to the female lead, with the horse's Biggus Dickus visibly outlined in her torso. It may not be sexy, but it is hilarious.
  • There's a Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt Hentai Doujin. It makes sense, but parts of it intended to be erotic were in the show's regular, non-Fan Service-ey art style and not in the Bishoujo art style the show Art Shifts to for Fan Service.
  • Mayu Shinjo's rather... special art style. Not only do the sex scenes look waaaaay too rape-like for comfort (whether they are or not), but the Only Six Faces syndrome hits hard.
    • And those chins, man. You could use the lead males' chins as knives.
  • Similarly, in smutty shoujos and joseis you see the male lead fondle/squeeze/suck/sometimes even bite on the female's breasts during their sexual acts... and often you end up thinking "OW, OW, BREASTS DON'T WORK THAT WAY!"
  • In Harumi's Bad play, a Hentai, the titular Harumi starts making out with an Accidental Pervert and at the end, her head starts spinning around and her head falls down and... she spawns two humanoids and the scene blacks out.
  • Ikki Tousen is known for being a fighting anime full of panty shots and clothes that like to explode off the bodies of all of the girls. A lot of viewers complained that it was distracting them from the plot and the characters.

Comic Books

  • An important health warning to anyone: women drawn by Rob Liefeld will make your genitals retreat into your pelvis and start building protective turrets. Unless, of course, you have a thing for women who use the pouches on their stomachs to digest food.
  • Comic artist Greg Horn's reputation is just as maligned as Rob Liefeld's — though his anatomy is better, this is in part because much of it is traced off live-action porn. Most of his depictions of women either try too hard to be sexy or are just borderline offensive, like his infamous drawing featured Catwoman on all fours licking milk from a bowl. You know your reputation is bad when other artists in your field start taking shots at your work.
  • There's an X-rated series called Housewives At Play that features a variety of female pairings, from fairly mundane (a seamstress seduces the woman she's making a wedding dress for) to highly odd (a Britney Spears-lookalike who owns a dairy farm turns a kidnapped woman into her cow-slave). But what sets this series apart from other x-rated comics is the sound effects: from "splip splip splup" to "splarp Squick" to "lick lick sluuurp", each and every panel is filled with [[Unsound noises which read like someone's trying to clear jello out of a snorkel.
  • Banana Games, a porn comic featuring two hot women screwing and shooting their way across the country. One of the women is big-breasted to the point of verging on impossibility.
    • For those who do enjoy such gigantic breasts, her first sex scene — and all further scenes by extension — can be ruined by her shoving her dirty, grime-and-oil covered feet straight at the reader.
    • And for those who can overlook that as well, there's the fact that both heroines are essentially sociopaths; certainly the big-breasted one is. They kill a lot of cops and innocent people in very graphically depicted and violent ways.
  • The character Starfire from Teen Titans has always walked this line, being a Stripperiffic alien princess with Monochromatic Eyes and very long hair that sometimes looks very 1980s. Red Hood and the Outlaws then runs off a cliff with the fanservice by giving her this costume and having her pose in anatomically impossible ways while detachedly discussing sex. Add to that the heavy implication that she's emotionally dead inside and it becomes more than a little disturbing, and as far as we can tell it was supposed to be unironic fanservice.
  • Guillem March's work on books like Gotham City Sirens and Catwoman can sometimes fall into this, since while he generally has a decent grasp of anatomy, he sometimes really pushes it with the Fan Service. In particular, the end of the relaunch of Catwoman has Batman and Selina going at it on a rooftop while still mostly in costume. but the circumstances - including the fact that they no longer know each other's identities thanks to a Retcon - and Bruce's questionable consent made most fans of the pairing respond, not with "Yes!", but rather "Do Not Want!"

Fan Works

  • This happens to a lot of fanfic (Sturgeon's Law, remember) for various reasons. IKEA Erotica, creepy/weird euphemisms, Anatomically-Impossible Sex, spelling mistakes that add fuel to the Narm fire, or just the Fridge Horror that sets in when you realize you're reading porn about a children's cartoon.
  • The infamous My Immortal Harry Potter fanfic, when the genitals are referred to as "thingy" and "you-know-what".
    • You-Know-What? Wouldn't that be Voldemort's penis? Fetish Retardant indeed...
    • How about when Draco "puts(s) his boy's thingy in (her's)"... Yeah.
  • The notoriously awful Lord of the Rings fanfic Celebrian is loaded with this. Even if you're someone who would actually be turned on by the story's Squicky sexual content, lines like "Oh, thank you, great-king-with-balls-of-fire, king-whose-great-rod-my-mouth-yearns-for." and "Very well, cock-sucker, suck-cock." are likely to cause a completely different reaction.
    • A common complaint about Celebrian is not about the Squickiness of the fic OR the rather Narmy dialogue choices, but the fact that the writing - and by extension the whole story - is surprisingly dull, going on, and on, and on, to a point when even the most aroused reader who would find their kink on its contents will keep scrolling just to see when the fic just finally ends.
  • One Hellsing fanfic (title unknown) was pretty good up until the point where Integral started wondering about Alucard's "one-eyed trouser snake". Narm in itself, and completely out of character for Integra.
    • The funny part is that it's a real-life euphemism, but becomes rather freakish when you take into account his powers. And his one-eyed trouser snake is probably a literal one-eyed trouser snake, considering Alucard's eye for Squicky humor.
  • Several K/S slash lemons mention that Spock's dick is green. It's not just limited to fanfics; Leonard Nimoy was asked if they were green. And yes, "they". Apparently, Vulcans have forked dicks.
    • Not just forked. Vulcan green tentacle cock has shown up on more than one occasion.
  • In Light and Dark - The Adventures of Dark Yagami: "He was as a big as a bus and was wearing leather pants which dint hide his super big man thingy which was the size of a bus and twice as wide."
  • Every single sex scene in My Inner Life. Only surpassed by the "Bonadage-ritual" scene, which is... Squick to the utmost.
  • Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen: Most of the fic. Special mention goes to Edward's "throbbing lavender man-fruit thing" and the scene where Jasper Cullen has sex with an apparently non-anthropomorphic panda.
  • Pretty much every adult-rated fanfic encountered by the Protectors of the Plot Continuum.
  • Chocobo Nights: even assuming that there are people out there who enjoy the thought of Tifa being impregnated by a chocobo, the terrible spelling renders it impossible to find this fic anything but either horrifying or funny.

"It's so furry!"

Film

  • Showgirls is the film Trope Codifier.
  • Some porn of the So Bad It's Good quality is only watchable because it's damn funny how badly they screwed it up.
  • Expect anything sexy in a movie being riffed on Mystery Science Theater 3000 to turn out this way. After all, if they weren't bad movies, they wouldn't be on the show.
    • In Space Mutiny, a female character's prolonged suggestive dancing only nauseates Mike and the Bots. ("She's presenting like a mandrill!")
      • Mostly because the woman looked to be possibly the oldest person in the cast... and the movie kept treating like a sexy teenager.
    • In The Screaming Skull, the complete lack of appeal in the movie's love scene prompts the line, "Flat, drab passion meanders aimlessly across the screen!"
    • A movie called Racket Girls had the butt ugliest women ever in it. As Crow said: "My loins will never stir again."
    • Mitchell. Baby oil.
    • In Hobgoblins, Kyle obviously has some... unusual tastes in women. Considering the woman that appears in his Hobgoblin-induced fantasy looks old enough to be his mother, and her completely unsubtle come-ons are especially overdone, it's... really not as sexy as it was probably intended to be.
  • In the Australian romantic movie The Heartbreak Kid (not to be confused with the Ben Stiller film), when the much-anticipated sex scene comes along the music they choose to play is Lacrimosa from Mozart's Requiem Mass. Funeral music? Not so sexy... unless you're an ubergoth, that is.
  • Many people believe the Neo/Trinity sex scene in The Matrix Reloaded was not sexy at all, but instead horrendously out-of-place and even a little bit gross, despite being juxtaposed with a borderline orgy scene. The fact that it's actually pretty hard to tell which of them is which may be a factor.
    • The whole cave orgy scene can be Fetish Retardant, too.
    • One reviewer described Trinity's relationship with Neo as being closer to that of a sexually indulgent aunt than a lover.
  • Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is not a good movie. The completely un-sexy "sexy" club dance between Chun-Li and Cantana didn't help, given the utter lack of any sort of heat between the two women, and the corresponding Fridge Logic that went with it. (Just how the hell does Bison's right hand woman not know who Chun-Li is?)
  • Both Darren Aronofsky movies Black Swan and Requiem for a Dream have pretty explicit sexual scenes in them. But if you do get aroused while watching them, then you definitely need medical help as much as the main characters do.
  • Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has it when a girl making out with Sam turns out to be a Decepticon. Panty Shot that reveals a tail... pass. Rape attempt with extensible tongue? Unless you're into tentacles, augh! Sam himself is quite disgusted, once he notices his throat tastes like motor oil.
    • How about the ending of the first Transformers, involving Sam and Mikaela making out on top of Bumblebee, who as we know is sentient. Just imagine his E-brake slowly rising...
    • So first we hear something about "always wanted to be an astronaut". Then we see John Turturro's naked ass on the big screen.
  • Zerophilia is about a person dealing with a very rare condition that allows you to change sexes during arousal or orgasm. Sounds cool, until you bring in the Fridge Logic involved with the mechanics of the condition. It's explicitly shown that orgasm is the key to full change. So how does it work when a woman with the condition has an orgasm while having a man inside her?
  • Disco Pigs managed to do this with Cillian Murphy, even when some thought that was impossible. We're just accepting Murphy (then 24) as a teenage boy, then he's shirtless. Ooh, drool. And heartbreakingly smitten with his female best friend. But then he goes into a ridiculously long monologue about his best friend, describing how he wants to be with her in rather graphic sexual terms, and she looks so cute and innocent and young and actually 16 in her nightie, and he suddenly looks really old...
    • Of course, some girls loved it. However, many people had the same reaction as above - there is even artwork to prove it.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean has the releasing of Calypso. All tied up, barely dressed but for the ropes, and even picks up the giantess fetish for those interested. The entire effect is completely ruined, though, when she suddenly morphs into a giant wave of crabs.
  • Burt Reynolds and Shirley Maclaine making out in the back seat in Cannonball Run II.
  • In The Piano, people were treated to more of Harvey Keitel than they ever wanted to see.
  • Caligula has a lot of fetish retardant. This is mainly a result of the uncomfortable incest, particularly in a scene where Caligula makes out with his wife-to-be and sister while two lesbians 'watch' and have explicit sex in a nearby room. It also comes from sexy things quickly followed by gross stuff, with the whole mood of sexy things ruined in the beginning in Tiberius' palace.
  • The Jacket: Please, Keira Knightley, put your shirt back on and eat a donut.
  • Tommy Wiseau's The Room gave us numerous incredibly awkward sex scenes. The less said about Wiseau bottom the better.
  • In Die Another Day's opening theme, at one point Madonna moans in a seductive, sexy tone... "Sigmund Freud". Anything else in that tone of voice could've been Fetish Fuel, but invoking Sigmund Freud, not so much.

Literature

  • Anita Blake brings us IKEA Erotica, bestiality-porn via half-turned were-creatures, sex with underaged boys, sex with mentally and emotionally damaged strippers, group sex with no sanitation ever, some of the most terrifyingly foodlike descriptions of oral sex ever, group sex with only one woman, lesbian sex that takes place entirely in the mind (apparently the author is a touch homophobic), and way too many men on one woman as a whole. All in all, some might like it, but yuck.
  • Twilight. If the Purple Prose and ridiculous, Harlequin romance-style descriptions of Edward don't make you laugh, the revelation that he literally sparkles in the sunlight certainly will.
    • And then when it comes to the actual sex, if you aren't turned off by the incredibly violent injuries Bella sustains, it turns out that Edward is a pillow biter. Literally.
    • And remember that his teeth are venomous. I'm hoping the pillow cases had dried off by morning.
    • Not to mention the fact that he's always described as being ice cold to the touch, even in the love scenes. Sounds about as pleasant as using a popsicle. Or getting a pelvic exam with a cold speculum.
  • Vurt by Jeff Noon manages to avoid IKEA Erotica, but falls into a trap with the same effect in its longest sex scene. An extended, rather literal metaphor is made, with the girl's vagina as a garden that ultimately gets "filled with sap."
  • Knight Moves in its entirety. We have, among other things:
  1. The male lead meeting the female lead in the restroom, whilst he's taking a piss.
  2. A sex scene involving spinning; fun if you like penis injuries and being kicked in the head, not so much otherwise, and a definite aversion of Everything's Better with Spinning.
  3. The Written Sound Effect "queeb" in reference to withdrawal, making this perhaps the only book to describe sex in terms of 8-bit video game sound effects.
  4. Unusual Euphemisms such as "lady softness", "volcanic crotch", "ladyfingers" (!!) and "codpiece" (to describe the penis itself, not what it's kept in).
  5. IKEA Erotica.
  • The White Abacus by Damien Broderick falls into this category from apparent Author Appeal. It would seem Broderick thinks a woman with a rose growing out of her shoulder is Fetish Fuel rather than Body Horror.
  • Victorian porn in general, particularly the publication The Pearl. They liked their lesbians back then. A lot. Just a little... younger than most would today. (Only most, though.) But there's tremendous whiplash from going between period-correct but fairly standard "lesbian schoolgirl encounters" and "nice young women talking amongst themselves about how secretly they're naughty at night" and some of the... weirder pieces. The writing style can't help either.
    • Not to mention the apparent obsession Victorians had with erotic spankings...
  • Absolutely anything and everything nominated for the Bad Sex in Fiction award.

"Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll."

  • IT gives us an eleven year old gang-bang, with all six of the main boys taking turns on the singular (very prepubescent) girl of the bunch to reforge their mental bond with one another. Many viewers are horribly trapped between a massive amount of Squick and possibly being taken in at how awkwardly heartwarming the scene still manages to be, especially Ben finally getting to admit how much he loves her... To boot, any amount of mixed feelings between "eww" and "aww" probably make it that much harder...
  • In the first Kitty Norville book, the image of a bunch of naked werewolves huddling together for warmth and closeness in a cave could be interpreted as Rule of Sexy, or possibly a kind of Ugly Cute. But see the book's entry in Fridge Horror and then take another look. Earlier, the sex scene between Kitty and Carl is kinda hot, if you can dig the dom/sub aspect, but then Carl ends it by saying "I'll take care of you, and you don't ever have to grow up."
  • Arguably used intentionally with Johnnie in House of Leaves. She has features that would regularly be considered sexy (Gag Boobs, full lips, platinum-blond hair), but the description draws attention to their artificial nature: her lips are stuffed with fat sucked from a corpse, and her implants have enough salt water in them for two oceans. Also, her eyes are red.

Live-Action TV

  • Ianto and Jack's implicit... something (naked hide-and-seek, anyone?) in season 2 of Torchwood. Gareth David-Lloyd is cute. John Barrowman isn't exactly bad looking either. But put them together, subtract the clothes and add some implicit wild lust and you get the most hilarious pseudo-sex scene in Torchwood history. It's possible that some hardcore fans of the pairing were titillated, but more from the idea than the presentation. Maybe this was intentional - after all, Gwen is laughing.
  • In Tipping the Velvet, the heroine ends up the plaything of a dominatrix/sexual adventuress, with a first encounter involving a device. Some readers found the equivalent scene in the book very erotic. In the TV version, ridiculous music is playing throughout that sounds more like the soundtrack to a sporting event, and any sexiness is shattered.
  • True Blood has a great many sex scenes, and a great many scenes involving blood. These scenes tend to coincide. Often. Then there's the corkscrew sex in season three.
    • And then there's the neck-snapping sex in season two. Back in season one, Sookie and Bill have sex immediately after he digs himself out of the mud he's been sleeping in all night.
  • In The Sarah Connor Chronicles, that scene with Cameron in the last episode. Authoritative commands, removal of clothing, flick knife---- wait, what was that last one?
  • One Doctor Who episode has the Tenth Doctor imprisoned by the Master and being: kicked around, abused, humiliated, taunted, forced to sleep on the floor, made to eat from a dog bowl, locked in a cage, and mentally and physically tortured. By his really fucking hot Arch Enemy and Evil Overlord. This, my friends, is possibly the hottest, sexiest thing that the sickest of all fangirls could hope fo—oh wait, so the Doctor's actually a wrinkled, bald, shrivelled, butt-ugly old man in this episode? Just this one particular episode of all episodes? Oh. Never mind....
    • Definitely a case of "Ooh... the subtext is about to get really kinky. We gotta do something about that."
  • The International Sexy Ladies Show focuses on such obscure fetishes that it's more alarming than sexy. These tend to pop up just after more conventional hot-chicks-in-bikinis-or-less footage.
  • In the pilot episode of Stargate SG-1, the extremely attractive Vaitiare Bandera has a full-frontal nude scene. Great... up until a Goa'uld symbiont burrows its way into her skull through the back of her neck.
  • Used in-universe in the Community Christmas Episode "Regional Holiday Music"; at one point, Annie attempts to seduce Jeff into joining the Glee club by wearing a sexy Santa outfit and singing a provocative song. Since Annie is a rather attractive young woman, all would seemingly be good — except that Annie, normally a quite intelligent person, intentionally dumbs herself down until she eventually ends up crawling around squeakily singing babyish gibberish. Jeff is visibly just as discomforted and squicked-out, if not more, as he is turned on by the whole thing. He's probably not the only one.

Jeff: Look, eventually you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexiness.
Annie: What's a deminiminmeghh?

Tabletop Games

  • Dungeons and Dragons has the utterly notorious unofficial third party sourcebook, The Book Of Erotic Fantasy. Cringing turns to laughter as soon as you look at the pictures, half of which are photos of the same few people (presumably cut-rate models), the other half of which look like terrible Photoshop efforts.
  • Due to constant Description Porn and [[Purple Prose| , FATAL has plenty of this.

Video Games

  • In the early Xbox RPG Sudeki, the character Ailish is pretty much made of the "Sexual Narm" version of this trope. There's just something really Uncanny Valley about everything she does that's intended to seem sexual (which is everything, in case you were wondering).
  • Miss World '96 Nude was probably supposed to be arousing on some level, but it didn't work. As Seanbaby put it in this NON-WORK SAFE review: "Growling demon heads grow smaller demon heads out of their faces, and unleash an onslaught of terror that will cease any self-gratification you might have been starting on. The maggot-dripping vision of terror does eventually turn back into a topless girl, but by then the point is moot. It doesn't matter if a lump of dead bodies burning in a fiery pit of hell turns into the most beautiful girl you've ever seen-- you're still done thinking about sex for awhile."
    • The gameplay is based on Qix. It's supposed to be an incentive to play well and finish the level quickly; in the original game, your score started going down if you took too long. Chances are it's less about being sexy though and more about deceiving the player; unfortunately, as the reviewer above pointed out, it all but defeats the purpose of including sexy pictures in your game to begin with.
    • The chicks in the game look rather off, too. Some of the models' breasts are Photoshopped to a comical degree, burgeoning on Nausea Fuel once again.
  • Invoked in Tsukihime, where in Shiki's dream he rapes a 'doll' that is either Hisui or Kohaku. There is so little response, that even Shiki is dissatisfied. It's actually not a dream, it's Shiki sharing perceptions with SHIKI, who actually is having sex with Kohaku, and is setting up that she's, well, screwed up.
    • Of course, all the other sex scenes in the game are so horribly written, they could count as well. But of course, the scenes are written by Kinoko Nasu.
    • Speaking of the Nasuverse, Red Saber's transparent-skirted, panties-showing outfit in Fate/extra is turning out this way. Most of the fanbase doesn't find it hot; it's too out of place and hilarious. Not helping at all is that, in game, Red Saber is actually a very Shameless Fanservice Girl and is revealed to be a Gender Flip of infamous Roman emperor Nero, so the dress, while in-character, is still her trying waaay too hard.
  • Sex in Fable - the screen is blacked out, leaving you with only voice clips to go on. And every character in the game has a horrible, annoying voice. It's worse if you're going gay, too, since 100% of eligible male NPCs are ugly.
  • Marian, the Damsel in Distress in most of the Double Dragon games, who is usually a good-looking woman (as seen in the original arcade game and the second NES game), was given an ugly redesign in the Sega Genesis port by Accolade. The panty shots were still kept for the Genesis version, but they end up being more disturbing than sexy because of the way she looks (see here).
  • An ecchi arcade game Pachinko Sexy Reaction 2 (review here) features such visions of beauty as this, this and this. It really says something when the in-game chibi characters are far more attractive than the ones seen in the cutscenes.
  • In Dragon Age: Origins, the scene you get when you consummate one of the romance options fails on many levels. The music is bad, the visuals are bad, those involved are still wearing their underwear, and it goes on far too long. Not to mention that glitch that can cause the player-character to still be fully clothed/armored during the scene. Mass Effect showed that less is definitely more.
  • Viktoria revealing her true identity in the first Thief game.
  • Some fans theorize that Bayonetta includes so much over-the-top Fetish Fuel that it's intended to overload the player's kink gland, making it this. The creator was apparently angry at people making porn of her.
  • Most eroge/visual novel translations suffer from severely [[Written mood-breaking onomatopoeias. Fellatio simply should NOT make the sound "chap chap chap".
  • The Sims 2 has the ability to "Woo-Hoo", or have sex. However, it's too cartoonish in noise and appearance to be arousing; it's even worse if you look under the sheets through hacking. The next game in the series cools down the comedy and adds actual moaning, but it's still not much. Making out, on the other hand...
  • Mortal Kombat 9 has Mileena. She certainly has a fair share of Fetish Fuel, but also very, very pointy teeth.
    • It's actually gotten worse as the graphics improved. Every girl without a mask has a body like a supermodel but in close-up, their faces tend to look manly. Such is the cost of hyper-realism.
  • Upon completing a level of hentai shmup Divine Sealing, the player is treated to some pictures of girls stripping. Girls who, it turns out, have no genitalia. Yeah, you'd think there'd be something there, seeing as their nipples are shown, or maybe that area would remain covered, but no. Instead we get a clear view of a blank, featureless crotch.
  • Curiously, the general reaction among fans to the hot springs scene in Final Fantasy X-2 tends to be annoyance, rather than titillation. Go figure.
  • During the Atari 2600 era, a company called Mystique thought it would be a good idea to make erotic videogames for the system. -Beat- They made porn games for a console where dragons looked like this! One of their games was the infamous Custer's Revenge. Whatever arousal component you could get from the controversial premise, it quickly gets down once you realize that the Native American lady Custer rapes is tied to a cactus.
  • World of Warcraft has this as one of the jokes Female Undead can tell:

Female Undead: "Yes, they're real. They're not mine, but they're real."

    • Also, the Steamy Romance Novel books you can occasionally find in the game. One of them you cannot read past three pages because "your good taste prevents you from reading it."

Web Comics

  • The Furry Fandom offers many opportunities for interesting couples, but it does not always work as intended. A rather infamous example comes from a kangaroo in the Rare Breed (porn) comic: "Ah yes! Squeeze my pouch-teats!".
    • Hey, look at it this way. Unless it was a male 'roo, it obviously wasn't a case of You Fail Biology Forever.
    • The "furspeak" that some writers/cartoonists insist on using can also turn a story meant to be sexy (or for that matter, deep and meaningful) into hilarity in very short order. From anatomical terms like "tailhole" to the gender neutral pronouns that are often used for hermaphrodites ("shi" and "hir" being the most common combination).
      • Such as the terms "Yiff" and "murr."
      • Some of the comic writers don't quite get grammar quite yet. Kind of hard to concentrate on sex scenes when the characters are talking like they're brainless every other line.
  • Xkcd: Go Go Power Rangers!
  • Penny Arcade: In The Love Nest of Har'akki

Tycho:Where are the bipedal crustaceans in this calculation? The swirling, aroused gasses? The lonely, sentient space station whose hermetic bulkheads hold secret clusters of erotic delights, provided your character has both the skills and equipment? Carpe astrum, you Goddamned backwater clowns. There must be an entire universe of thrilling, dangerous, sometimes razor sharp genitalia that slavers beyond the Horsehead Nebula.

    • "Let me paint you a picture... imagine a Chik'har hive maiden scuttling out of her mottled carapace. Her inviting translucent heaving with ripe larvae! She retracts her guard plates, where forty alien breasts bristle with nipples! Yes... a thousand times yes!"
  • Shredded Moose: everyone's favorite Gorn-filled misogynist Web Comic whose artist can't draw breasts is full of this.
  • In-universe in El Goonish Shive: Dan, of all people, finds the vampire-swooning stuff "a little odd". Susan reminds him that the worst vamp-Fetish Retardant is the simple Fridge Logic. Click the link to extinguish those sparkles FOREVER. Also in-universe: Elliot was beaten by a bag full of these until he's in guilt-trippy mood and "fails at perversion" completely:

Imaginary Random Bikini Model: I'm someone's daughter, you bastard.

Does it still count as fan service if it's accompanied by an immediate guilt trip?

  • That "Hotter and Sexier" issue of Sonichu. Yikes.
  • Kit 'N Kay Boodle: A Furry Comic in which everybody yiffs around all the time. It might just be tolerable, if not for the fact that the characters are drawn in a cutesy cartoon style, clashing bizarrely with the rampant fucking.
  • Pron Quest, a CGI rendered porn comic, has some unfortunate character designs for something that's supposedly meant to arouse the reader. The leading lady has the build of a little girl, except for her big breasts, and a bunch of the men are repulsive-looking redneck stereotypes.
    • The characters are meant to be avatars in a WOW-style MMO. The little girl characters are mostly gnomes and halflings. At any rate, most of the sexuality is played for laughs rather than arousal and frequently intentionally invokes this trope.
  • In-universe in The Magnificent Milkmaid, when a character with comically huge breasts is called a "freak" by someone she's in love with. Whether it applies out-of-universe is up to the individual reader...

Web Original

Western Animation

Other

You give me head, it makes it worse
Take out your fuckin' retainer, put it in your purse!

  • Helmut Newton's "erotic" photographs.
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