< Family Guy

Family Guy/Characters


A dramatis personae for Seth MacFarlane's animated comedy series, Family Guy.

The Griffin Family

Peter Griffin

An obese father from Rhode Island who's mentally retarded. Used to work at a toy factory before the owner of the plant died, then worked as a fisherman for a couple of seasons, and now works a desk job at a brewery.
Voiced by Seth MacFarlane, using a voice that sounds like Archie Bunker's, only whinier.

  • Abusive Dad: He wasn't always like this in early seasons, although now he's a lot worse than the Jerkass version of Homer Simpson. However, he didn't become a full on abusive dad until Seth MacFarlane left as the showrunner, whereas in seasons 4 and 5, his abuse towards Meg could be considered joking around with her(even if Meg didn't think so).
  • Adult Child
  • All Women Are Prudes: A believer of this trope. Lucky for him, he's married to an aversion (who even agrees with him about the trope).

"You know what really grinds my gears? This Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits. Ya know? You're a... You're out there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer. So, what am I supposed to do? What you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you're trying to - why why are you leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my, over there in my face? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want. Well, I'll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is - is just bogus."

Dog Peter: OH-MY-GOD-I-KNOW-THAT-SOUND-IT-MEANS-THERE'S-A-POTENTIAL-INTRUDER-AT-THE-FRONT-DOOR-OR-ONE-OF-MY-PALS-EITHER-WAY-I'M-EXCITED-AND-READY-FOR-ANYTHING!

Lois Griffin (née Pewterschmidt)

A woman from the richer side of Rhode Island that teaches piano lessons to children. Voiced by Alex Borstein, she has a very nasally voice that can rival both Sandy Cheeks and Fran Drescher's.

Lois: He's right, women are such teases! That's why I went back to men.

  • Break the Cutie: Happens often. notably in the Christmas special.
  • Distaff Counterpart: Is almost (d)evolving into this in later episodes, a lot of her role consisting of joining Peter in giggling over immature gags or even sharing similar sociopathic tendancies. The extent of this is Rule of Funny however.
  • Fiery Redhead
  • Flanderization: Originally a genuinely compassionate Mama Bear whose occasional bouts of self righteousness and impulsiveness led to Not So Different moments involving her husband, in later seasons is an extreme Bitch in Sheep's Clothing and is almost as callous and self centered as Peter. Especially towards Meg, who she seems to outright hate, and sometimes towards Peter.
  • Genki Girl: When she gets assertive the wrong way, mainly in the episodes "Breaking Out Is Hard To Do," and "Deep Throats."
  • Hot Mom: A source of quite a few jokes (and episodes) is how Peter managed to marry the rich, beautiful, talented Lois Pewterschmidt.
  • I Surrender, Suckers: Lois is about to be taken in for shoplifting in "Breaking Out is Hard to Do." She goes to get her purse...and makes a vehicular escape.
  • Jerkass/JerkWithAHeartOfGold: In later seasons (though arguably more a case of Comedic Sociopathy early on).
    • By the end of season 8, her Jerkassness is comparably worse than Peter's, because although Peter dwells on the edge of Comedic Sociopathy, he is obviously too stupid to know any better and can never really grasp any Aesops that are thrown his way for long (although he does have his Pet the Dog moments), but Lois obviously knows better and yet acts meanly in more insidious ways.
  • Lack of Empathy: At her worst.
  • Mama Bear but sometimes also Abusive Mom
    • Take into account the recent Halloween Episode, where, after an older kid steals Stewie's candy, she makes him give Stewie his candy back... then makes him give Stewie his own candy, and tells the kid's mother to also give her 80 bucks. The fact that Stewie is visibly disturbed by this makes it even more of a Crowning Moment of Funny.
    • It's become something of a running gag to mention that Meg was entirely unplanned for and was almost aborted. During her second pregnancy (again unplanned for due to a broken condom) Lois apparently drank and smoke a lot in lieu of an abortion but stopped halfway which is why Chris is so stupid. She also used marijuana while pregnant with Stewie which is why he's so intelligent.
    • She threatened Quagmire after he attempted to sleep with Meg now that she was 18, saying she'd cut his penis off and feed it to Brian if he goes near Meg again.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Lois's reaction to Meg calling her out on Not So Above It All below in the episode "Seahorse Seashell Party."
  • Not So Above It All: Meg has called her out on the fact that she is generally no better than a drug addicted whore who has let both Bill Clinton and Gene Simmons "go to town on her".
  • Really Gets Around: Implied in her younger days. She was called "Loose Lois" for a reason.
  • Rebellious Princess: Sort of; she's from an EXTREMELY rich family but chose to marry low-class yokel Peter for love.
  • Super Strength: During the events of Super Griffins.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Hot Wife to Peter's Ugly Guy.
  • Women Are Wiser: Most of the time, anyway.
    • It DEFINITELY applies with respect to intelligence... she is smarter than Peter by leaps and bounds. The moral component of that trope is where the grey area comes in, and even then Peter hardly prevails here.

Megan "Meg" Griffin

An average teenager with average teen problems. Probably the only normal one of the family. Although lately, she's so psychologically screwed up that she's basically Walking Dead Baby Comedy. Voiced by Mila Kunis.

  • Beware the Nice Ones: Meg Griffin has been described by Brian as "far sweeter and kinder than the typical American girl" and has put up with a lot of abuse these past couple of years. However under the right circumstances, Meg could unleash her repressed rage on anyone that pisses her off enough or have prison life turn her into hardened badass that her whole family is DEATHLY afraid of.
  • Bi the Way: Asking Connie if she can think about her while taking a shower.
  • Bratty Teenage Daughter: Though granted it's FAR more justified in later episodes.
  • Broken Bird: Some episodes depict her being both emotionally fragile and disturbed, derived from a desperation for love and attention.
  • Butt Monkey: At first was merely a Bratty Teenage Daughter indirectly humiliated by her family's well intentioned bumbling or quirkiness. This evolved into the entire universe growing a profound hatred of her, with practically everyone - even her own family - showing a casual disregard for her well-being.
    • Fortunately it is starting to get toned down (there are maybe three prominent examples that spring to mind in season, and two of them aren't really that horrible; in one they aren't overly rude, in the second it was kind of Hypocritical Humor (Peter is worried about the guy doing his wife, yet has no problem with him nailing his teenaged daughter, which is arguably worse).
    • In the most recent episode, Meg's mention of her teacher "rubbing her shoulders for 45 seconds" is taken seriously and Lois is shown to be quite concerned.
      • Though when her story gets worse, Lois doesn't quite focus on what Meg's saying.
    • In the South Park parody episode Cartoon Wars, she is the only character without dialogue.
  • Characterization Marches On: In earlier episodes, while still somewhat luckless, Meg was a far less exaggerated punching bag. She was actually a primary target of concern and affection from her parents, most of her abuse stemming from their inadvertent and non discriminate bumbling. This was actually taken to the point of affecting her demeanor, often acting like a somewhat self absorbed and manipulative Daddy's Girl.
  • Chew Toy: Yes, plenty of fans enjoy Meg's Butt Monkey status.
  • Emo Teen: very much so, though she has good reasons for it
  • Extreme Doormat: Until she Took a Level in Badass.
  • Had to Come to Prison to Be a Crook: In the episode "Dial Meg for Murder."
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Of a non-lethal variety. She decides to take the abuse her family dishes out because without it, they would be at each other's throats nonstop (save for Brian).
  • Informed Deformity: Meg is seen as being absolutely hideous by pretty much every character, save for her Abhorrent Admirer.
  • Not So Above It All: Meg sometimes makes fun out of other Griffin members when the situation calls for it e.g. Chris being made fun for Lois being in a porno by other schoolkids and Meg joins in. She also salvaged upon a brief moment Brian was "the New Meg". Although it could be her trying to fit into a crowd.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Shut up, Meg."
  • Pint-Sized Powerhouse: She's able to curb stomp people much bigger than her.
  • Stalker with a Crush: If you are male and was nice to her, you will probably regret it.
  • Stepford Smiler
  • Took a Level in Badass: She seems tougher ever since her post-prison psychotic episode.
  • Took a Level In Kindness: Par occasional Yandere traits, Meg has far less bratty or self centered traits than in earlier seasons.
  • Tsundere: She showed some tendencies of this towards Neil Goldman early on, namely in the episode "The Kiss Seen Around the World".
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Meg unleashes a HUGE one on Chris, Lois, and Peter during a hurricane. This is the hurricane three-parter when The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, and American Dad aired back-to-back. Compared to Cleveland Junior calling out the rest of the Tubbs on ignoring the National Weather Service, and Francine calling out Stan on how he made things infinitely worse with his idiotic actions that nearly killed the family, Meg has done the longest series of pointing out the hardest flaws out of three characters.
    • She calls Chris a douchebag who only treats her like crap because Peter and Lois do it and that he is not a good brother to her. She calls Lois a horrible, condescending mother who has the nerve to point out every flaw Meg has, despite generally being no better than a drug-addicted whore whom has spent the past 17 years trying her best to destroy Meg from day one when she should've been protecting her and acting like a mom. Meg admits she'd prefer to never see Lois again once she turns 18, and this reduces Lois to tears. She calls Peter an uneducated, selfish drunk who is unable to provide for his family and terrorizes the community on a daily basis with his psychotic antics. He goes out of his way to shove Meg's face in his ass and fart in it, and Meg comments that if anyone in the outside world got a good idea of how Peter treats her, he'd be in jail. At first, Peter is just giggling at Meg's words, until he realizes she's criticizing him, which leads to Chris and Lois ganging up on him, and being reduced to tears like Lois was. However, Meg watches as the rest of the family immediately turn on one another now that their flaws have been brought to clarity, and realizes that without her acting as a lightning rod for their aggression, the Griffins would more or less turn on one another like a pack of wolves. So she apologizes and states that everything was her fault, sacrificing her chance to finally break free of her torment for the sake of keeping the family together. Brian calls her a noble human being for making such a sacrifice.
  • The Unfavorite: Part of the Butt Monkey thing above; Peter and Lois even apparently agreed that if they could only save two of their kids in a crisis, Meg is the one who gets screwed over.
    • And of course, when Lois has to save Joe from falling to his death:

Joe: Pretend I'm your child, Lois!
(Lois starts losing her grip.)
Joe: NOT MEG! NOT MEG!
(Lois slowly pulls him up to safety.)

Christopher Cross "Chris" Griffin

A lax and lazy teen that's childish for his age. Voiced by Seth Green.

  • A Date with Rosie Palms: It is implied Chris frequently masturbates and he even goes as far as openly talking about it in conversations that just doesn't need it. In the "Road to the Multiverse" episode, the introduction of dog Chris shows him licking himself under the table.
    • His frequent masturbation is taken Up to Eleven in the "German Guy" episode where it is shown that Chris masturbates so much that his entire blanket became hard as a rock and then shattered to pieces when Lois drops it on the floor. Lois also comments that because she washes Chris clothes so often from his masturbation habits that the washing machine gotten pregnant somehow.
    • During an episode where Peter drinks Red Bull, he becomes so hyperactive he sets fire to a cow when milking it. Cut to Chris, who'd previously been offered some, running in the background with his crotch on fire.
  • Author Avatar: Occasionally acts as rather blatant avatar for voice actor Seth Green. Each of the Star Wars parodies ends with him and Peter breaking character to debate over their VAs' shows.
  • Biggus Dickus
  • Book Dumb
  • Brick Joke: Him being big even at his birth. At first a cutaway gag, it turns out he was so large he "dragged half of Lois out with him". Lois required extensive reconstructive surgery and has been told it'll be lucky if she lives past 50.
  • Cloudcuckoolander
  • Caught with Your Pants Down
  • Deadpan Snarker: Occasionally and surprisingly.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: When he gained pyrokinesis during Super Griffins, he sets a kid on fire for calling him by a mocking nickname.

Chris: You remember that time you called me "Chris Gristle"?
Hector: I think so.
Chris: Well burn for it!

  • The Ditz
  • Fat Idiot: Like his father, though he doesn't usually cross into Psychopathic Manchild or Fat Bastard as frequently as his father does and usually comes across as childlike at certain points.
  • Flanderization: Chris's slowness gradually became his defining factor, as did the Evil Monkey and Herbert's obsession with him.
  • The Generic Guy: other than being an idiot, doesn't have too much of a personality or outstanding quirk, like the rest of his family (yes, even Meg outstands more than him).
  • Kiddie Kid: Chris was like this oh-so-much before the show's initial cancellation. Later seasons slowly faded this characteristic out.
  • Nice Guy
  • Out of Focus: He's the least seen character in the most recent seasons.
    • To the point where until recently, Joe seriously thought his name was "Caleb".
  • Playing with Fire: During the events of Super Griffins.

Stewart Gilligan "Stewie" Griffin

A perpetual one year old with a lust for world domination. Hates Brian (the hatred wavers from episode to episode) and really wants to kill Lois. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

Stewie: If anyone is going to take that bitch down, its gonna be me!

See-n-say: The cow goes, SHAZOO!
Stewie: ... it most certainly does not.

  • Word of Gay
  • Yandere: The main reason why he can't keep a potential relationship together, he either scares them away, or in the case of Olivia, murders them.

Brian Griffin

Talking dog. A cynical, world weary Deadpan Snarker and a foil for Stewie and Peter. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane using his natural speaking voice.

  • Aesop Amnesia: Season 2'a "Brian in Love" resolves his feelings for Lois with their deciding to stay friends in a fashion that one reviewer called "a perfectly believable and somewhat heartfelt earnest manner". Compare this to Season 6's "Play It Again, Brian", where he tries to force himself on Lois and, when confronted by a rightfully angry Peter, defends his actions and says Peter doesn't deserve her.
  • Author Avatar: Seth MacFarlane himself admitted that Brian reflects most of his political views. This was extremely prominent in season 7.
  • Barefoot Cartoon Animal: When Brian wears clothes, his outfits typically don't include shoes.
  • Butt Monkey: Nowhere near as big as Meg but things never seem to turn out right for Brian, especially in recent seasons.
  • Chew Toy: Yes, plenty of fans enjoy Brian's Butt Monkey status thanks to the heat he gained in the past seasons.
  • Commander Contrarian: Lois calls him out on this behaviour.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Seth MacFarlane even describes Brian's humor to be as dry as the martinis he drinks.
  • Did Not Get the Girl: Tries and fails numerous times to get back with Jillian.
  • Easy Evangelism
  • Fan Nickname: Brian is referred among his haters as "The Liberal Douche"
  • Flat Earth Atheist: Despite the appearances of God and Jesus on earth in the show, Brian is a staunch atheist.
  • Freudian Excuse: Given that he didn't start dating hot morons until after the show was revived, his new dating habits could be attributed to Pearl's death, as he would rather enjoy meaningless sex with idiotic partners rather than forge a genuine connection and go through that same pain again. Ironically, he'd meet two other women whom he'd form a connection with, Jillian and Rita, but he lost both of them because A: he didn't want to make a commitment with Jillian, and B: he cheated on Rita and tried to poorly rationalize it as a good thing.
  • Funny Animal
  • Furry Confusion
  • Interspecies Romance: Brian has several of these with humans.
  • Iron Butt Monkey: A particularly brutal one in recent seasons, seems to fall victim to prolonged graphic beatings a frequent episode.
  • Irony: Seth MacFarlane uses his natural speaking voice for a character that's not human (even though Brian hardly, if ever, acts like a dog. In the rare times he does, it's wooden and unconvincing—i.e., when he barks).
  • Jerkass: In recent seasons.
  • Like a Weasel: His most common method of picking up women in later seasons. In "Peter's Got Woods" he meets a beautiful black woman and tries to curry her favor by getting Chris' school renamed for Martin Luther King Jr. In another episode, when a woman says magicians turn her on, he immediately blurts out "I'm a magician!"
  • Mommy Issues: Possible explains his weakness for women.
  • Motive Decay: In early seasons Brian wants to date a woman of depth and substance, having gotten tired of Brainless Beauties who have no idea what he's talking about when he wants to have meaningful conversations. Later on, the Griffins (Lois especially) make fun of him for dating nothing but said Brainless Beauties and Quagmire even calls him out on this in his "The Reason You Suck" Speech from "Jerome Is The New Black" (with Quagmire pointing out his hypocrisy by stating, "Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it...") Not to say that he still end up in dates with women of depth that end badly, most notably Carolyn and Ida, the former who Cleveland snagged, and the latter who turned out to be Quagmire's dad post-sex change.
  • My Instincts Are Showing: Brian acts like a human for most of the time, but sometimes he shows dog traits; for example, he will chase balls, is attracted to the sound of dog food in a bag, and is terrified of the vacuum cleaner.
  • Off the Wagon (but occasionally ends up back on it)
  • Only Sane Man: Used to be this.
  • Parental Substitute: Towards Stewie at times.
  • Perpetual Frowner: In early episodes, Brian was rather stoic and humorless, rarely changing demeanor outside to give advise to Peter or the odd dry quip. As he developed in later episodes he becomes more emotional.
  • The Pornomancer: Brian tries to be romantic, but invariably most of his encounters are quickies and one-night stands with women he barely knows, often brainless beauties (i.e. Jillian and the nameless blonde who mispronounced "escargot" and "Chablis" in "Brian Wallows, Peter Swallows"), as pointed out by Quagmire in his rant against Brian (with Quagmire pointing out that, yes, he goes after airheaded women too, but he doesn't put up a pseudo-intellectual front to get in their pants the way Brian does).
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives one to Connie at the prom after she insults Meg.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Jack Daniels liquor.
    • As well as Martinis.
  • Snarky Non-Human Sidekick
  • Super Speed: During the events of Super Griffins.
  • Talking Animal
  • Ungrateful Bastard: Quagmire accuses Brian of this in his famous rant, citing the fact that Brian is trying to steal Lois away from Peter, the man who saved his life and gave him a good home.
    • The silly thing is this got resolved long before this episode came about, so Quagmire really just bringing up old information. Exactly how did he know about that anyway?
    • Actually Brian had indicated lingering feelings for Lois on several occasions afterwards.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: The idea early on obviously was that he was Peter's best friend, but by season 9 the only long-term positive interaction he has is with Stewie, and it's their friendship that results in The Road to..." episodes.
    • Although its not to the same extent, he often shows a lot of kindness towards Meg too.
  • Welcome to Hell: When some Halloween pranksters dye his fur magenta, he gains the sympathy of the Pink Panther.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Human?: This was more of an issue in earlier seasons, but now Brian is almost universally silently treated like a human by family and strangers alike, with occasional amusing Furry Reminders.

The Neighbors

Glenn Quagmire

A sexaholic navy vet that flirts with every hot woman (even teens) in rather disturbing ways. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

  • Acquired Poison Immunity: He's been maced/pepper sprayed so many times he's developed an immunity.
  • Anything That Moves: Well, anything female. He'd apparently do a transsexual, provided she was post-op. He's even hit on Meg with the line "Hey Meg, 18 yet?"
    • Lampshaded by himself when he was about to fuck the corpse of a hooker Stewie sniped only to stop and ask himself if he actually was mentally ill.
    • Revealed in "Jerome is the New Black," to because when Quagmire reveals that his sex addiction was the result of his true love -- Cheryl Tiegs -- breaking up with him. See Cerebus Retcon below.
  • Big Brother Instinct: In, "Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q", he did not take his sister's abuse from her boyfriend Jeff very well.
  • Black Comedy Rape: "Roofie Coladas" are apparently a staple drink he buys women.
  • Bunny Ears Lawyer: He's a pretty competent pilot and he does take his job seriously.
  • But You Screw One Goat!:
    • Possibly, due to this line spoken while discussing jury duty:

Quagmire: Yeah, that's what separates us from the monkeys. That and the armed guards at the zoo. Man, they got some sexy monkeys down there.

    • He's done it with a giraffe, too.
  • The Casanova: Does it really need to be said?
  • Car Fu: He rammed his sister's abusive boyfriend into a tree.
  • Catch Phrase: "Giggity-giggity-giggity-goo!"
    • "OH!"
      • "Heh-heh...aaaall riiiight."
  • Cerebus Retcon: Season 8's "Jerome is the New Black" revealed the reason why Quagmire is a sex maniac: The one woman he truly loved -- Cheryl Tiegs -- walked out on him before he could confess his love to her, and now he aimlessly has sex to fill the void she left behind. It's actually not all that surprising when you look back on three previous episodes: "Emission Impossible" ( Quagmire has a Cheryl Tiegs poster on the door of his refrigerator), "Barely Legal" ( Quagmire gives Meg his favorite book, "The Missing Piece" by Shel Silverstein, stating that he reads it whenever he feels like he's missing that one piece in his life that made him whole) and "Perfect Castaway" (where he mentions that if he was blind, "every woman he did would be Cheryl Tiegs").
  • Chivalrous Pervert: Averted hard. More of a dangerous pervert due to his questionable methods of seducing women (though he refuses to have sex with Meg until she turns 18 and immediately went flaccid when he tried to have sex with Lois while Peter had amnesia and ironically was becoming more like Quagmire as a result, and Lois said she trusted Quagmire as seen on "Big Man on Hippocampus"). It's been toned down recently though, as the show staff have opted to make him more of a Jerk with a Heart of Gold.
  • Corrupt the Cutie: Okay, he was pretty damn corrupt to begin with, though was notably the most laid back and happy-go-lucky of Peter and his friends. His role as a Self-Deprecation avatar however has gradually evolved him into a much more cynical character (he has gained an outright Hair-Trigger Temper around Brian).
  • Deadpan Snarker: In recent episodes, he's started acting like this on occasion, especially when provoked by Peter's antics.
  • Depending on the Writer: The writers can't seem to make up their minds on whether Quagmire is a Lovable Sex Maniac with a heart of gold or a Complete Monster rapist.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He won't take advantage of Meg when she is extremely vulnerable.
    • He also won’t accept domestic abuse of women. Just look at what happened to Jeff when he thought he can abuse Brenda, Quagmire’s sister.
  • Gratuitous Japanese: In the Halloween episode, when he tricked Peter and Joe into thinking he was possessed by his kamikaze pilot ancestors.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Seems to have developed this around Brian, who constantly manages to inadvertantly offend or infuriate him immensely, often leading to a rather vicious verbal (and sometimes physical) beatdown by Quagmire. Ironically the odd occasion Brian genuinely lashes at him, he is more passive aggressive.
  • He Who Fights Monsters: His established hatred for Brian has led to Quagmire developing increased aggressive and occasionally outright violent tendancies over petty (and often inadvertant) offenses from the latter, as well as a similar bouts of snobbish preachiness as his nemesis.
  • The Jailbait Wait: While Quagmire has had sex with underage girls as young as twelve, he's apparently willing to wait for Meg. More than almost anyone else on the show, he also seems to genuinely care for her, much more so than her own family, everyone else in Quahog, and the universe at large.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's kinda become one in recent years. He grew attached to his illegitimate daughter, and, during his infamous rant against Brian, revealed that he works at a soup kitchen to help the homeless. He also gave said daughter up when he realized she would be happy, and he expressed disapproval when Peter pretended to be crippled (in the 'Star Wars special).
  • Kavorka Man: To the extreme.
  • Knight Templar Big Brother: Murdered his sister's abusive boyfriend.
  • Morality Pet: Meg seems to be the only one to bring out his somewhat noble aspects. There's also his sister Brenda.
  • Last-Name Basis: The only one who actually calls him "Glenn" is Lois.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: When he's not being the Kavorka Man
  • Older Than They Look: In one of the more recent episodes, It's revealed that Quagmire is in fact 61 years old.
    • Which leads to a bit of Fridge Horror when you remember that he was at Peter's prom, considering he's 20 years older than Peter and Lois.
      • I think they forgot about that.
  • Parental Incest: Wants to have sex with his daughter, and has sex with his mother.
  • Papa Wolf: He does genuinely care for his sister Brenda's well being, and is willing to even murder her fiancee if it at least stops said fiancee from harming her permanently. Not that said fiancee didn't deserve it.
    • Also barely contains his fury at Brian for accidentally mistaking his niece for a boy, as she lost all her hair through chemotherapy. One gets the impression that if it wasn't christmas and they were in line to see Santa, Quagmire would have beaten the living daylights out of Brian.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: In the episode "Jerome is the New Black," Quagmire gives a spectacular one to Brian, who has spent the entire episode trying to be his friend. It helps that the points he makes are quite valid as they were based on complaints viewers had been making about Brian for a good while. However this also had the effect of making Brain look more sympathetic especially considering later episodes.

Quagmire: OK. I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) and you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing -- you're always like "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of The Catcher in The Rye and then lecture them with some 7th Grade interpretation about Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual, he wasn't. He was a SPOILED BRAT. And that's why you like him so much -- he's YOU. GOD, you're pretentious. (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note... she woulda know there's no "A" in the word "definite." And what I think I hate most about you, is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, maaan..." How big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America... well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the Soup Kitchen, Brian... never seen YOU down there... you wanna help? GRAB A LADLE. And by the way, driving a Prius does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT -- you don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter... because "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic BORE. Sigh... Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.

Quagmire: "If I ever see you anywhere near my house, I'll BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!!! NOW LAY THERE AND DIE, YA PIECE OF CRAP!!!"

  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: "Giggity-giggity-giggity-gone!"
  • Series Continuity Error: Quagmire is shocked to find that he has an infant daughter, yet "Peter's Got Woods" revealed that Quagmire actually knows he has ilegitimate children somewhere in the world (including a 20-year-old Spanish man who lives with his mom) and another episode had him in a kindergarten class with children that are biologically his. Then again, its also probable that he is shocked that someone actually left the baby at his doorstep.
  • Self-Deprecation: In recent seasons, he has started voicing multiple critisms from fans about the show, including jibes at Peter's Jerkass antics, darkly offensive humor and Conway Twitty. Not to mention nearly everything Brian says or does around him manages to piss him off. Arguably also played for irony, since the person chosen to voice against such standards is, well, Quagmire.
  • Sitcom Arch Nemesis: Seems to be evolving this way against Brian. While more a one-sided amnosity the majority of times early on, Brian has gradually given more retaliation to Quagmire's bitterness towards him, reaching to the point of a rather even handedly vicious Escalating War in "Tiegs For Two".
  • Stalker with a Crush: He may go after any attractive woman that catches his eye, but several episodes show that he has a unhealthy obsession with Lois.
  • Took a Level in Badass: When he took on his sister's abusive boyfriend in "Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q", and rammed him into a tree with his car!

Cleveland Brown

A caving guy that talks slow due to a head trauma. Is now divorced from his wife for being too nice. Voiced by Mike Henry.

Joe Swanson

A paraplegic cop that lost the ability to walk after falling off of an orphanage roof during a pursuit. Has a wife, Bonnie, who was pregnant for almost ten years. Voiced by Patrick Warburton.

  • The Artifact: The 9th season premiere is the first time in years we've seen him actually do cop stuff. For the most part it's been dropped in favor of him being the Angry Wheelchair Dude.
  • Butt Monkey
  • Berserk Button
  • Depending on the Writer: Whether he can get an erection.
  • Dirty Cop: Numerous examples, almost always to allow his close friends – namely, Peter and Quagmire – to get away with everything, from abuse to pedophilia. The most recent example involved their arson of Goldman's Pharmacy (to help Mort Goldman collect an insurance settlement).
    • He also conspired to aid Quagmire in murdering his sister's abusive boyfriend, then covered it up.
  • Even the Guys Want Him
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Since the show was uncancelled.
  • Handicapped Badass
    • In "Da Boom" he was partially vaporized leaving him stuck on his driveway unable to move around. A giant mutated rat comes along his response "bring it on!"
  • Lantern Jaw of Justice
  • Large Ham
  • Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right: As an officer of the law, he's initially against Quagmire's plan to kill his sister's abusive boyfriend. But after seeing for himself what a monster the guy is, his immediate response is, "...let's waste this dick."
    • In the Season 10 episode "Thanksgiving", we learn that several years ago Joe let a thief go when it turned out the man was homeless and had stolen food in order to feed his family.

Bonnie Swanson

Joe's wife. Has been pregnant for almost ten years. Later gave birth in Series 7. Voiced by Jennifer Tilly.

  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: A recent episode showed she was gonna leave Joe and have an affair with a Frenchman, because she was "bored of Joe". A handicapped Frenchman at that. Joe convinced her to stay of course.
  • Hot Mom: Even while she was pregnant, she was noted for having a nice body.
  • Longest Pregnancy Ever: Finally resolved in Season 7. It's even lampshaded on more than a few occasions. Case in point:

Bonnie Swanson: I won't have my baby as long as he's [Glenn Quagmire] around!
Peter Griffin: Okay, first off, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for, what, six years? Either have the baby or don't! Second of all, Quagmire's a nice guy, he's just a little messed up!

Recurring Characters

Extended family

Carter Pewterschimdt

Lois's wealthy father who hates Peter. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

  • Grumpy Old Man: Carter speaks in gruff voice and he is usually very mean and sometimes angry when provoked.
  • Jerkass: Especially to Peter.
  • Laughably Evil: There's little, if any, redeeming qualities about him. That doesn't stop him being hilarious.
  • Not So Different: He starts showing some similarities to Peter's personality, particularly around the seventh or eighth season.
  • Obnoxious In Law
  • Politically-Incorrect Villain: It's not too hard to tell that he has a very 1950s mindset when it comes to minorities.
  • Rich in Dollars, Poor In Sense: When he temporarily lost everything, he was shown to be incapable of taking care of himself.
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Money: His answer to fixing everything.
  • Took a Level In Dumbass: Carter grew more childlike as the seasons went on in nearly the same way as Peter. While some of his actions are somewhat understandable (not knowing how to have fun at a strip club due to being married for so long for example), but he also resorts to childish actions when it comes to making Peter upset, such as getting heavy machinery to destroy a park bench because he thought it would make Peter upset after Peter said he kind of liked it.

Francis Griffin

Peter's devout Catholic stepfather. Voiced by Charles Durning.

Jasper

Brian's gay cousin. Like him, he's also an anthropomorphic dog. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

Jillian

Brian's girlfriend during season 5. Voiced by Drew Barrymore.

Quahog 5 News

Tom Tucker

One of the anchors for the local Quahog TV station. He is an egotistical man obsessed with his mustache. His son suffers from having an upside-down face and is currently[when?] being terrorized by the Evil Monkey. Meg briefly had a crush on him. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

  • Jerkass
  • Karma Houdini: Even though he was innocent of the murders, his attempt to get Diane fired was still a bit of an asshole move. He was briefly sent to jail, but has recently been released and is back in his old position.
  • Kent Brockman News
  • Likes Older Women: He briefly dated Peter's mother. But strangely enough, he pushed to get Diane fired because she was too old.
  • Porn Stache: Which is actually the property of the network (he has to give it back when he's fired).
  • Small Name, Big Ego.
  • Write Who You Know: Tom is partially modeled on real life anchorman John Beard of Fox Los Angeles O&O KTTV. Ironically, however, in real life, Beard is actually a very competent, very professional anchorman, and in fact, it was this professionalism which actually cost him his job there, when KTTV management fired him in 2007 over disputes on what he would report on during the station's main newscasts, with Beard wanting to do more hard news and the management wanting him to do more celebrity fluff. Beard ended up going to work at NBC affiliate WGRZ in Buffalo, NY, as their morning and midday anchor, in effect, working in a media market with a job that amounted to a career downgrade. Far from being egotistical, however, Beard was more than willing to accept the position if it meant not having to compromise his journalistic integrity.

Diane Simmons

The other anchor for Quahog News and the host of the trashy talk show Diane. She and Tom frequently argue with one another on air, sometimes resorting to physical violence. Early in the show, she played the role of Anna in Peter Griffin's "production" of The King and I. She served as the primary antagonist of the ninth season premiere. Having been dumped by her lover James Woods, she planned on murdering him and framing Tom Tucker, who successfully had her replaced with a younger anchor. Her plan nearly succeeded, but she unintentionally revealed herself to Lois. She was shot by Stewie before she could silence her and plummeted off a cliff to her presumed death. Her replacement is a new blonde anchor named Joyce. Voiced by Lori Alan.

Joyce Kinney (Chevapravatdumrong)

The newest team member of the Quahog 5 News and Dianne's replacement after her failed murder plot

  • Blondes Are Evil
  • Everyone Went to School Together: Revealed to have went to the same high school as Lois
  • Revenge: Lois wasn't very kind to her in high school embarrassing her in front of the whole facility. She still carried the grudge into her career and used Lois newfound stargaze of her to get any scandalous information and air it on the news.

Tricia Takanawa

The Asian reporter. Voiced by Alex Borstein.


Ollie Williams

Weatherman for the local news station. Voiced by Phil LaMarr, he has a loud and quick voice.

Other recurring characters

Mr. Weed

Previous owner of the toy factory where Peter used to work at before he died. Voiced by Carlos Alazraqui.

Bruce the Performance Artist

Recurring character with many jobs. Voiced by Mike Henry.

Ernie the Giant Chicken

A recurring gag character who shows up to fight Peter in a usually five minute brawl. Voiced by Danny Smith.

  • Cloning Blues: One episode hints that he was the failed result of a cloning project.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: This whole fight started because Ernie gave Peter a bad coupon.
    • Eventually they manage to reconcile. Until Peter's offer to pay the check for their dinner out...
  • Feathered Fiend
  • Implacable Man: The stuff he's gone through have a few questioning whether he's even mortal.
  • Made of Iron: No matter how many times he gets badly beaten, he always comes back.
  • Psycho Prototype: It's hinted in one episode that he was the result of a botched cloning attempt that resulted in a violent chicken/human hybrid. Reinforced when Peter tells its creator, Dr. Hartman, after learning this that they need to have a little talk.

Dr. Elmer Hartman

The Griffins family doctor. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

  • Talking to Himself: Lampshaded when he and Carter talked about how their voices sound the same.
  • Running Gag: He'll say something that sounds like it's bad news for his patient, then immediately reveal he was talking about an unrelated matter ("That liver's got to come out...of the microwave, or it'll dry out!").

Death

The Grim Reaper.

"Man, I wish Dad was still dead."

Mayor Adam West

The eccent mayor of Quahog. Voiced by Adam West.

  • Actor Allusion: In one episode, it's shown that he's afraid of zombies. This is likely a reference to Zombie Nightmare, a cheesy Canadian movie where West's character gets killed by zombies.
    • Also averted: The creators wanted to avoid any Batman references in regards to Adam West because he is supposed to be a different person.
      • Plus, as they said, that would be such an easy joke to make.
  • Adam Westing: Obviously.
  • Cloudcuckoolander
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: When he kills the Noid
  • The Danza: Mayor Adam West is voiced by...surprise, surprise, Adam West himself.
  • The Jailbait Wait: Adam West falls in love with Meg, but is willing to wait until she's mature enough for a full romance.
    • He also does this to shield her from a potential erupting scandal. He didn't want her to have to endure constant scrutiny.

Connie D'Amico

The popular girl at Meg's high school, who often teases and torments Meg.

  • Alpha Bitch
  • Butt Monkey: Yeah, she's a complete bitch, but so far, Brian has brutally deconstructed her to her face, Chris has publicly humiliated her, Peter has repeatedly bashed her face into a fire extinguisher, and Meg beat the living hell out of her for all the shit she's done to her. Oh, and Stewie got her arrested for pedophilia. And after she and her friends humiliated Meg, Lois got Quagmire to molest them all.
  • Demoted to Extra: Used to appear on a regular basis, now she only get very short appearances, usually once per season. This is mostly due to the fact that Connie appears in Meg centered episodes.
  • Flanderization: Originally she was just the popular Libby character who would make fun of Meg for her efforts to try to fit in with the popular kids. But nowadays she goes out her way to tease Meg even if Meg is just minding her own business. And her bullying tactics have gotten needlessly cruel over the years.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: She's an absolute bitch to Meg, even after Meg showed her the cuts she deliberately gave herself as a result of Connie's cruelty towards her.
  • The Other Darrin: She was voiced by Fairuza Balk in earlier appearances and Lisa Wilhoit in later appearances.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Despite all the punishment she received from the Griffins as a result of her bitchy behavior towards them, and especially towards Meg (which includes getting the crap beaten out of her twice), she still continues to act like a jerk.
  • Ungrateful Bitch:Even after Meg helped her out to restore her status at school, she only thanked Meg halfheartedly at best.

Neil Goldman

The school nerd and classmate of Meg, whom he has a crush on. Son of Mort. Voiced by Seth Green.

Evil Monkey

A monkey with a menacing glare and pointing finger who lives in Chris's closet. Voiced by Danny Smith.

  • Cerebus Retcon: Originally a purely comedic character, he was given a backstory, reasons of why he acted that way and the ability to speak
  • Not So Different: When the Evil Monkey was introduced to the family, they discover that he isn't that much different from the rest of them having suffered a cheating wife and being sacked from his job. Chris doesn't buy the story but he learns to trust him over time and even considers the monkey to be a better father than Peter when it comes to life's problems or help with homework.
  • Put on a Bus: After "Hannah Banana" he moved from Chris' bedroom to Jake Tucker's bedroom, and wasn't seen again.
    • The monkey did make a comeback later on. He appears with Peter to save Cleveland and his friends from being raped by a group of men in The Cleveland Show
  • Start of Darkness: According to Chris he turned bad after he caught his wife in bed with another monkey.

Mort Goldman

The owner of Goldman's pharmacy. A walking Jewish sterotype. Voiced by John G. Brennan.

Herbert

The local pedophile who lusts after Chris. Voiced by Mike Henry.

Opie

Peter's mentally challenged co-worker at the brewery.

Greased-up Deaf Guy

A deaf guy who runs around in his underwear while covered in grease. He first appeared at a picnic held by Peter's company, where one of the activities was trying to catch him. Due to his greasiness, this is very hard to do. He apparently used to be a lawyer.

Penelope

Stewie's "soulmate", who demands him to kill Brian.

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