The Goldbergs (season 4)

The fourth season of the American television comedy series The Goldbergs premiered on ABC on September 21, 2016. The season was produced by Adam F. Goldberg Productions, Happy Madison Productions, and Sony Pictures Television, and the executive producers are Adam F. Goldberg, Doug Robinson, and Seth Gordon. The season contains 24 half-hour episodes.[1] The season concluded on May 17, 2017.

The Goldbergs
Season 4
Country of originUnited States
No. of episodes24
Release
Original networkABC
Original releaseSeptember 21, 2016 (2016-09-21) 
May 17, 2017 (2017-05-17)
Season chronology

The show explores the daily lives of the Goldberg Family; a family living in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania in the 1980s. Beverly Goldberg (Wendi McLendon-Covey), the overprotective matriarch of the Goldbergs is married to Murray Goldberg (Jeff Garlin). They are the parents of three children, Erica (Hayley Orrantia), Barry (Troy Gentile), and Adam (Sean Giambrone).

ABC renewed The Goldbergs for its fourth season on March 3, 2016.[2]

Cast

Main cast

Episodes

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProd.
code
US viewers
(millions)
721"Breakfast Club"David KatzenbergMarc FirekSeptember 21, 2016 (2016-09-21)4016.90[3]
It's Adam's first day of high school, which means a clean slate for him and his nerdy friends. So he tries to reinvent himself with a new "bad boy" rep, dressing just like Judd Nelson's John Bender character in The Breakfast Club. Barry tries to establish himself as a jock, while Erica wants to have an awesome senior year by doing whatever she wants. But their plans are threatened when Beverly receives her teaching certificate to become a substitute teacher at their school. However, her fellow teachers do not welcome her and she has a terrible first day, especially when her kids won't sit with her during lunch. Principal Ball fires Beverly after she loudly cusses at him. While Erica, Adam and Lainey bicker with Beverly, Ball issues them all a Saturday detention, as well as Barry whose rude comments Lainey was reading. Adam sees this as an opportunity to live out The Breakfast Club, with Lainey as the popular princess, Barry as the jock, and Erica as the unstable basket case, given her jealous rage over Geoff and Evey. Adam proclaims himself the troubled bad boy, even though the rest of the group sees him as the nerd. They spend eight hours acting out the film by dancing and sharing their problems with each other. Beverly even shares that she wants to belong and her kids see she's just like them; struggling with her identity. Later, Murray marches down to the school and asks Principal Ball to give Beverly her job back so she has a purpose in her life instead of just being a mom, convincing Ball he can use Beverly's "skills" when he has problems with other teachers.
732"I Heart Video Dating"Peter EllisAlex BarnowSeptember 28, 2016 (2016-09-28)4026.58[4]
Lainey, Erica and Beverly are in the mall when they are approached by the owner of a video dating service. They are shocked when demo tape the owner shows is one that features Pops. Lainey thinks that video dating might be the best way to get her single father, Bill, back out there, while Beverly insists her skills at setting up couples is superior. Bill visits the store and tries to make a video, but he can't stop pining for his ex-wife and crying. Erica decides she will have Adam make a dating video for her, but she too cries when she thinks about losing her chance with Geoff Schwartz. Meanwhile, Barry takes an assessment for career day, and the results show he should go into in accounting. Decidedly against that career choice, Barry sees Mr. Mellor hard at work with a class and thinks that being a gym teacher and coach is for him. Mr. Mellor is more than willing to mentor Barry, but it gets out of control and Murray tries to nip it in the bud.
743"George! George Glass!"Joanna KernsAaron KaczanderOctober 5, 2016 (2016-10-05)4046.23[5]

Adam runs into a junior at the high school, and remembers her as the cute "Waffle Girl" (Brec Bassinger) who served their family at a restaurant a few years ago. He wants to ask her out, but feels he has to look like a "player" first. Taking a tip from the Brady Bunch episode in which Jan Brady made up the fake boyfriend George Glass, Adam makes up the girlfriend Lampie Tableman. Erica makes fun of Adam and says his plan will never work, but she soon pulls a "George Glass" of her own, making up a college-age boyfriend named Jordan Wahlberg (combining the names of two members of New Kids on the Block) in hopes that Geoff Schwartz will become jealous. Adam's plan goes into high gear as he has Dave Kim create fake hickies with a vacuum, but Dave makes too many, causing Adam to have Dave shoot him with a paintball gun to explain away the marks. Waffle Girl sees Adam at that moment, and says she too likes paintball. She invites Adam on a paintball date, but Adam gets scared while playing and makes a fool of himself. At school, Evey and the JTP shoot holes in Erica's fake boyfriend story when some of her facts don't add up. Meanwhile, Barry wants badly to go to Live Aid in Philadelphia, but Murray says no. Barry refuses Beverly's offer of tickets to see The Beach Boys, with neither he nor Beverly realizing the Beach Boys are on the bill at Live Aid. Murray has to go with Beverly instead, but he gets into an argument over a parking space, causing them to miss the concert. Beverly chastises her husband for his stubbornness, and insists he take her to Chi-Chi's for dinner, a place which Murray has vowed to never go. Murray caves and goes to Chi-Chi's, but his stubbornness ruins that, too. With Erica's life about to be ruined at school, a handsome young man claiming to be Jordan Wahlberg pulls up and—in full view of Evey and Geoff—makes reference to a frat party they attended together. Erica then breaks up with the guy. Realizing Adam helped her, she asks him why. Adam explains that Waffle Girl was just a crush for him, but what his sister feels for Geoff is real.

Featured Song: "God Only Knows" by The Beach Boys
754"Crazy Calls"Lew SchneiderSteve BasiloneOctober 12, 2016 (2016-10-12)4056.47[6]

After constantly missing phone calls and messages, Murray buys an answering machine. Erica and Barry want to use a Crazy Calls cassette tape to have a funny voice as callers leave a message, but they have to settle for their dad's voice. Murray then gets one for Pop-Pop, and they get into their own message war from not wanting to talk to each other on the phone or face to face. Frustrated with the phone always being tied up, Erica erases the message tape, but soon sees her father is depressed over not having any new messages from Pop-Pop. Meanwhile, Beverly is worried about Adam's social standing as a freshman in high school, especially when he can't find a group to sit with in the cafeteria during lunch. He then joins up with the nerds in the computer lab, who eat their lunch while playing old school RPG games. Beverly, thinking her son has settled for spending time with computer geeks, sabotages his time in the lab by "cheesing" the disk drive, which gets Adam kicked out. She then devises a plan to have the cool kids be nice to him, but Adam sees through it. After Adam tells Beverly he actually enjoyed having lunch in the computer lab, Beverly makes a deal with Johnny Atkins to take the blame for the cheesed drive, and gets Adam's nerdy friends back.

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
765"Stefan King"David KatzenbergChris BishopOctober 26, 2016 (2016-10-26)4066.14[7]
Adam is determined to write a novel in the vein of horror icon Stephen King, but he's at a loss for ideas until Beverly comes in the room and does her usual smothering. This inspires Adam to write about a monster called "The Veberly" who sucks the blood of children. A proud but clueless Beverly shares Adam's first few chapters with her book club, with all the members quickly realizing the monster is Beverly. Beverly then locks Adam in his room (a la the writer Paul Sheldon in Stephen King's Misery) until he rewrites the Veberly character in a nicer light. Elsewhere, Geoff Schwartz and Evey reveal they are going to the high school Halloween dance as Audrey and Audrey Jr. from Little Shop of Horrors, and Erica quickly lies that she is going with Lainey's hot cousin. While Lainey does manage to get her cousin to agree to go with Erica, he sees her with no makeup and her geeky glasses and backs out. Determined to not be shown up by Evey, Erica rents a superior Audrey Jr. costume and forces Barry to wear it and be her "date" to the dance. But Barry falls over a table at the dance and the costume head falls off, with everyone seeing that Erica went with her brother. Erica retreats to the music room in total humiliation. Soon after, Lainey and Barry ask Geoff to console Erica, and he does, singing a song with her and telling her they will always be good friends. Erica returns to the dance and has fun, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.
776"Recipe for Death II: Kiss the Cook"Lew SchneiderBrian HennellyNovember 9, 2016 (2016-11-09)4036.46[8]
Inspired by action films of the 80's, especially Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando, Adam convinces Murray to fund his own action movie, Recipe for Death , which will require $80 worth of gear to spice things up. Adam and his dad bond over the experience, but Murray starts to take his "producer" role a bit too seriously and wants to make changes, including replacing Barry as lead actor with Mr. Mellor. Adam soon nixes the project after Murray's meddling becomes unbearable, but he secretly goes to Pops for another $80 to do the movie his own way. Realizing he let his son down, Murray brings Adam a real film camera, which he borrowed from a relative who shoots bar mitzvahs. Murray, Adam, Barry and Mr. Mellor then all work together to shoot the perfect action film. Elsewhere, Erica sees Lainey in a new sweater dress, and wants one of her own. She convinces Beverly to take her to the mall by calling it a "shopping experience" they can both enjoy, with the ulterior motive of making a detour to the hip new clothing store Benetton. When they arrive, Beverly notices that the Gimbels department store is closing, which distracts her. Though Erica manages to drag Beverly to Benetton and get her to spring for the sweater dress, they are soon banned from the store after an argument when the cashier won't honor Beverly's Gimbels coupon. Back home, a furious Erica starts cutting up many of Beverly's sweaters with Lainey in an attempt to create a sweater dress, but all the efforts fail. Horrified after seeing her ruined sweaters and learning that Erica really just wanted her credit card, Beverly is despondent. Erica consoles her mother and says she really would enjoy a shopping trip...this time to Gimbels, where Beverly can use coupons on top of the closeout prices to replace many of her sweaters.
787"Ho-ly K.I.T.T."Lea ThompsonAndrew SecundaNovember 16, 2016 (2016-11-16)4106.45[9]
Adam badly wants to go to the Gimbels Thanksgiving Day Parade after learning that K.I.T.T., the intelligent car from the popular TV series Knight Rider, will be appearing, but Murray doesn't want to deal with downtown traffic and Beverly is too busy preparing the Thanksgiving meal. Murray's brother Marvin arrives for Thanksgiving, and the two bond over watching episodes of Knight Rider that Adam recorded. Later, Adam is watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV with Pops when he sees Murray and Marvin in the background as K.I.T.T. passes by. Furious, Adam plots to dredge up old sibling rivalries with a Knight Rider board game, which quickly goes south when Murray and Marvin argue over who will play as the Michael Knight piece. Meanwhile, Barry tells Beverly he wants to spend Thanksgiving with Lainey, so Beverly usurps this by inviting Bill and Lainey to the Goldberg Thanksgiving. Despite Beverly telling Bill not to bring anything, he shows up with his own turkey and a deep fryer, insisting it will be better than Beverly's turkey. Adam convinces Marvin to take him to see K.I.T.T., which is being stored at the mall where Marvin works as a security guard. The two take a joyride, ending at the Goldberg driveway. Meanwhile, Bill is dropping his turkey into the fryer. The turkey is ejected as if shot out of a cannon, and lands on K.I.T.T.'s hood, doing damage. Bill realizes that Beverly must have sabotaged his turkey by re-freezing it, so he leaves with Lainey. After learning how much Thanksgiving means to Bill and Lainey since Lainey's mother left, Beverly apologizes for her behavior and pleads for the Lewises to come back. Murray and Marvin also make up, with Murray admitting he always bossed Marvin around because he thought he had to take charge with their father gone so much. Meanwhile, Erica decides to become a vegetarian but no one seems to care. In the end, it’s revealed that she was only being a vegetarian because she was looking for something to distract her from thinking about Geoff all the time.
798"The Greatest Musical Ever Written"Lew SchneiderAnnie MebaneNovember 30, 2016 (2016-11-30)4075.96[10]
When Adam's drama teacher Mrs. Cinoman changes the school play from the annual production of The Wizard of Oz to the exciting new musical Phantom of the Opera, Adam and most of the student body wants to be involved, including the popular kids and Lainey. Barry is surprised that everyone is enamored with the musical and angered that Adam's part requires him to kiss Lainey. Barry becomes a stage hand in order to sabotage their intimate scene, but Mrs. Cinoman gets in the crossfire and gets hurt when a chandelier crashes on stage. The play gets cancelled since they didn't get legal permission, and Barry admits to Adam that he was surprised that Adam could succeed in a place where Barry can't. Meanwhile, Erica wants to take it easy for her senior year by blowing off hard classes, so she takes a home economics class with a bunch of football jocks who also want an "easy A". However, Beverly becomes a substitute teacher for the class, and gives Erica and jocks an 'F' for not taking cooking seriously. Principal Ball and Coach Mellor force her to change the grades and tell her that home economics is a blow-off class, exhilarating Erica and devastating Beverly. Later, Erica realizes her mom works hard at home to scrimp and save so she and Murray can pay for her college tuition. Erica then tries to prepare a home cooked meal, but it isn't easy as it looks. In the end, mother and daughter come together and make dinner for the whole family.
809"Globetrotters"Richie KeenAdam ArmusDecember 7, 2016 (2016-12-07)4085.40[11]

Murray has two tickets to a Harlem Globetrotters game and wants to take Barry, but Barry has pneumonia and cannot go. Murray is forced to take Adam, who isn't thrilled about going, but Adam's attitude quickly changes when he sees how funny the Globetrotters are. Despite their lack of athletic ability, Adam and his pals start working on their own versions of Globetrotters routines, which angers Barry because sports are "his thing". Soon, Barry makes a list of his interests and hobbies that Adam is not allowed to participate in, but Adam becomes defiant. The fight boils over into a winner-takes-all basketball game, which Barry wins much to Adam's dismay. Barry later apologizes and states that he felt threatened by Adam's newfound interest in the Globetrotters, and agrees to share it with him. Meanwhile, Beverly plans a "surprise" 50th birthday party for Murray. Knowing that Murray isn't big on parties, Beverly lets him in on the surprise so that he will be prepared to spend a night with friends and family. On the day of the event, Murray plans to take a quick nap before the party, but falls asleep for two hours, angering Beverly. Having hurt his wife, Murray later surprises Beverly by organizing a re-do of his own 50th birthday party.

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
8110"Han Ukkah Solo"Joanna KernsDan LevyDecember 14, 2016 (2016-12-14)4096.20[12]
Johnny Atkins sells Adam a rare bootleg VHS copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special, knowing that Adam is a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise. After viewing the tape, Adam is extremely disappointed, and begins to question his fandom and loyalty to other movies, picking apart ridiculous plot lines and inconsistencies. In a larger sense, Adam fears he has grown up and lost his sense of "childlike wonder", and he shares these fears with Pops. Pops tries to ease Adam's fears by taking him to see the latest George Lucas film, but it turns out to be the notorious flop Howard the Duck, leading to further disappointment. In the end, Adam finds some redeeming quality in the Star Wars Holiday Special in that it introduced the Boba Fett character, and Pops convinces him that he never should lose his youthful wonderment. Elsewhere, Erica and Barry are singing in the chorus for the school's holiday show, with Beverly expecting Erica to sing the solo for the Dreidel song, which is the only Chanukah song included. Erica is tired of singing the song, and only does it to please Pops. The chorus doesn't want to sing the song and neither does Erica, disappointing Beverly. Beverly insists that Erica write a Chanukah song for the show, causing Barry to try and write a better song. Ms. Cinoman doesn't like either of their songs—Erica's is a ripoff of "Happy Birthday" and Barry's is a historically inaccurate rap song about the Maccabees. Principal Ball says that if there is no Channukah song, the show can't include Christmas songs either, causing chaos. Erica confronts Beverly and it is revealed she was lying about Pops and had tricked her into singing the song for over a decade. Beverly reveals that she loved hearing Erica sing the song and was afraid she wouldn't do it if she asked her directly. Understanding of the incident, Erica forgives her and manages to pull off a solo singing a popular secular song, delighting her mother.
8211"O Captain! My Captain!"Richie KeenMarc FirekJanuary 4, 2017 (2017-01-04)4126.73[13]

Beverly has a one-month substitute assignment for a class that includes Barry. Inspired by the film Dead Poets Society, she tries to make a difference in changing the attitudes of her students, but they actively resist. At home, Beverly constantly grills Barry with chemistry questions, but he says he doesn't need to learn it because he plans to marry Kathy Ireland and live off her wealth. Murray takes a different tactic, convincing Barry that Beverly really has no interest in him learning because she wants to keep him at home forever. This inspires Barry to actually try to learn chemistry, and he begins to lead study sessions with the JTP. When Barry finds out that his dad lied to him, he vows to go back to the way things were, and Beverly is devastated that Barry's interest in science was fueled by his resentment of her. Murray later finds Barry hiding a physics book under his mattress. Barry admits he is now interested in science, and thinks he's found a subject he can excel at. He is ashamed, but Murray reassures him and reveals that Beverly believed in him from the start. Barry, the JTP and several classmates decide to stand on desks like from Dead Poets Society, overjoying Beverly. Elsewhere, a note is passed around Adam's class, landing in his hands when Mr. Glascott forces him to read it aloud. Adam does so, and reveals it was written by a guy who has noticed Emmy Mirsky's "blossoming" body, which embarrasses Emmy. Adam tries to convince Emmy that guys go through the same thing, especially when it comes to "shirts and skins" in gym class, but Emmy insists it's not the same. Erica assures Adam that ninth grade girls are very body-conscious, so he asks her for help in making things right with Emmy. Adam expects Erica to just write a nice apology letter for him, but she instead conspires with Mr. Mellor to make Adam a "skin for life" in gym. When Adam confronts Erica about this, Erica reveals that when she went through ninth grade, she went through the same exact thing as Emmy, but had no one to come to for support, and that Emmy does but Adam is shutting her out. Adam eventually shows his support for Emmy when he confronts two seniors (Johnny Atkins and JC Spink) who make wisecracks about Emmy's "nice rack".

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
8312"Snow Day"Victor Nelli, Jr.Lauren BansJanuary 11, 2017 (2017-01-11)4136.92[14]

The Goldberg children get a day off from school due to heavy snow, and plan to spend it doing whatever they want. However, Beverly insists that Erica use the time to write her college essay and Murray orders Barry and Adam to shovel snow. Erica says she's already written an essay about a hero of hers, but won't say whom. Beverly searches Erica's room and finds the essay, titled "My Mother, My Hero". She goes overboard and wants to partake in every aspect of Erica's life. Erica retaliates by saying she will write an essay about herself, believing she has heroically escaped growing up with a "smother". This leads to a race to the mailbox and Erica destroying the first letter, devastating Beverly, who reveals that the first letter was the only proof she had that Erica still wanted her in her life. Erica assures her this isn't the case, and tells Beverly she would be lucky to grow up to be just like her mother. Meanwhile, Barry and Adam defy Murray by building a snow fort instead of shoveling the driveway. When an angry Murray gets stuck in the entrance to the fort and panics, the boys see their dad as vulnerable for the first time. They try to use this to their advantage by disobeying every order Murray gives them. Murray goes along with it, saying they will need him someday. "Someday" comes only two hours later, when the boys have a mishap while doing some "tailgate sledding". The boys apologize and the family has a snowball fight on the lawn.

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
8413"Agassi"David KatzenbergChris BishopFebruary 8, 2017 (2017-02-08)4166.19[15]

Adam is upset when Chad Kremp can't devote any more time to "Chadam Productions", their movie-making venture, because he's on the tennis team and constantly has to leave to practice. Adam joins the team and insists he be double partners with Chad, but Adam is terrible at tennis. Adam is further upset when he sees that Chad has partnered with Dave Kim the next day, leaving him behind. Adam goes to his "sports guru" brother, Barry, for help. Barry is excited to play, claiming he will be the next Andre Agassi. Barry gets the Agassi hair and outfit down, but is also terrible at playing tennis. However, after complaining about a call Mr. Mellor makes, it appears that Barry makes a very good John McEnroe. This leads to Chad having a meltdown on the tennis court and getting into a giant fight with Adam. Elsewhere, Valentine's Day finds the lonely Erica completely giving up on her appearance, apparently content to wallow through her senior year in self-pity over losing her chance with Geoff Schwartz to Evy Silver. With Mr. Glascott's help, Beverly holds an intervention to get the "old Erica" back, but it's unsuccessful. Beverly then takes Erica to a discotheque, which is empty because disco music is no longer popular. Beverly tries to get Erica to dance and lift her spirits, but this has minimal effect. Erica later runs into Geoff and Evy, and Evy shows pity for Erica. It's the last straw and Erica reverts back to her old self, deciding to organize a "Disco Is Dead" party and inviting the whole school. Beverly tries to shut it down, but Erica disobeys her. It doesn't matter, because the discotheque owner shuts it down when he learns that all the patrons will be underage. Seeing Erica down in the dumps again, Beverly says she can rescue the party and save her daughter's reputation. She shows Erica keys to the school and says she can sneak Erica and the invitees into the gym for a disco party. She does so and all the kids enjoy dancing. Mr. Glascott arrives and is mad that Beverly helped with the unauthorized party, but he can't resist the music; Mr. Glascott heads to the floor to dance and Beverly joins him. Around the same time, Adam visits Chad Kremp to apologize. Chad says he is not quitting Chadam Productions and will still make movies with Adam when time permits.

Featured Song: "Never Surrender" by Stan Bush
8514"The Spencer's Gift"Jay ChandrasekharAlex BarnowFebruary 15, 2017 (2017-02-15)4146.50[16]

Barry asks Murray for money to buy a hot new boom box, but Dad says no, he must earn it. Barry and Erica are at the mall when they see a "help wanted" sign in the Spencer's Gifts store. Both apply and both get jobs. After one day working, it is clear that Barry is way more into novelty gifts than Erica and excels at talking customers into buying anything. This earns Barry a promotion, which irritates Erica, so she decides to sabotage him the next day at work. This backfires when Barry is fired for losing a bunch of bottled farts, which is not the result Erica wanted. She soon admits she was jealous of Barry and the ease with which he took to the job. Meanwhile, Barry sees that Adam already has the cool boom box, a gift from Beverly who says Adam is "special". She proclaims her schmoo doesn't need a job because he's going places with his movies. Trying to make things right with his siblings, Adam soon gets a job at the arcade in the mall. The arcade has a policy of giving a free quarter for each 'A' on a student's report card, and Adam gets bullied into dispensing quarters for a bunch of people with fake report cards, getting him quickly fired. This pleases Beverly, but Adam is not happy, saying he liked the job and wants to earn his keep like Barry and Erica. Adam then tries to win his job back by making a commercial for the arcade proprietor.

Featured Song: "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper
8615"So Swayze It’s Crazy"Jay ChandrasekharLacey FriedmanFebruary 22, 2017 (2017-02-22)4116.21[17]
Upon learning that R. D. Robb, a boy Adam knows from the area, appeared in the movie A Christmas Story, Adam decides it's time for him to also become famous. He meets up with an agent Beverly knows and the agent definitely sees potential in Adam. As Beverly later finds out, the agent sees Adam filling a role as a nerd in Meatballs Part II, but Beverly will have none of it, insisting Adam is leading man material, a la Tom Cruise or Patrick Swayze. Beverly dumps the agent and proposes to represent Adam herself, with disastrous results. Adam later learns Beverly nixed a chance for him to be in Meatballs Part II and gets mad at her. Beverly soon grudgingly admits Adam could play a nerd, albeit a loveable one. At school, Barry decides to take on a punk persona after Lainey says she thinks the punk look is hot. Barry gets tips from a punkster named Matt Bradley, even letting Matt join the JTP after the other members have no interest in going punk. But it soon becomes clear that Barry can't pull off the punk look or attitude and he ends up dressing up like a pirate. Meanwhile, Murray tries to get involved in Erica's love life after seeing her down in the dumps. He knows she likes one of her brothers' friends, but clearly doesn't know the details and sets her up with Dave Kim. Thrilled, Dave sings an embarrassing love song for Erica in the cafeteria the next day, humiliating her. Knowing her dad interfered, Erica confronts him at home. Pops is there and scolds Murray for knowing nothing about his daughter, and he blurts out that she likes Geoff Schwartz. As it happens, Geoff is there with Barry and overhears the whole thing. Geoff later confides in Erica that he's flattered she likes him, but says he's with Evey now and things are going well. After a few seconds of silence, Erica and Geoff embrace and kiss.
8716"The Kara-te Kid"Anton CropperAdam F. GoldbergMarch 1, 2017 (2017-03-01)4156.17[18]

When Adam writes a review on The Karate Kid, one of his favorite movies, in the school newspaper, his classmates think the other Adam Goldberg wrote it because the article was missing Adam's middle initial. After finding out, Adam's 11th grade namesake challenges him to a fight, but fighting isn't allowed on school grounds so Coach Mellor decides to start a karate club. Meanwhile, after their first kiss, Erica and Geoff start sneaking around and stealing kisses behind Evelyn's back. They decide they want their relationship to go public, but Erica doesn't like the way they got together upon seeing how hurt Evelyn is. She reluctantly suggests to Geoff that they wait until it feels right. Adam turns to his "black belt" brother Barry for help, and Barry brings him to his sensei; Uncle Marvin. Like the movie, Marvin uses household chores and cleaning in place of karate techniques. Barry and Adam soon realize that they really weren't taught how to defend themselves, and go into the tournament not knowing anything. During the tournament, Beverly tells Barry to "sweep the leg" so that Adam can fake an injury and get out of fighting. However, Adam is sick of being bullied and Murray gives him a pep talk about how he used to be a bully until some kid bopped him one. Seeing Adam return to the gym, the other Adam admits he doesn't know how to fight either and was just hoping Adam would wuss out. Since they're both into acting, they act out the last scene of the film, ending by performing double crane kicks to each other. The contest is declared a tie, and they both get to keep their names. Later, Beverly, Marvin, Barry and Adam enroll for Karate classes in a dojo where the instructor, Sensei John (Martin Kove, who coached the evil Cobra Kai team in the movie) is a really good guy and teaches with love, kindness and mercy.

Featured Songs: "Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera, "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
8817"Deadheads"Jason BlountAdam ArmusMarch 8, 2017 (2017-03-08)4185.70[19]

Barry is resistant when Geoff, Andy, and Rob want to induct the school's resident Deadhead, Matt Bradley, into the JTP. He tries to make it as hard as possible for Matt to pass the "initiation tests", but Matt does anyway. With Barry out-voted 4 to 3 (as leader; Barry's vote counts as three) the JTP goes to the Grateful Dead concert instead of the Fat Boys, which Barry wanted. Barry then tries to get the group kicked out of the concert, but to no avail. The other JTP members chastise Barry for being selfish, causing him to quit and try to start a different posse. When the member recruitments are a disaster, Barry apologizes and asks to be back in the JTP. (The closing sequence mentions that Matt Bradley wound up being Barry's best friend after high school and becoming the fifth member of the JTP.) At home, Adam yells out the F-bomb when Pops knocks over his video camera, and Beverly hears it. Beverly starts a "swear jar" that any family member must donate to if they use a curse word. Erica laughs at this, as Beverly is the worst offender in the family, and proclaims they'll soon have enough of Mom's money in the jar for a trip to The Bahamas. Erica even finds a way to get Murray to donate whenever he calls one of his kids a "moron" because it is hurtful. Beverly insists that any money be used for a trip to Colonial Williamsburg, which Erica and Adam strongly oppose. As Mom and Dad put in more money, they try to even things up by creating a "Baditude" jar for any time Erica says something sarcastic and condescending, plus an "Adam" jar for whenever Adam says something nerdy or refers to a science fiction movie. All-out "jar wars" ensue, and money starts going from jar to jar. Realizing they can't do anything other than be themselves, the group ceases the jar wars, while Erica and Adam relent and agree that another trip to Colonial Williamsburg won't be so bad.

Featured Song: "Touch of Grey" by The Grateful Dead

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
8918"Baré"Jay ChandrasekharSteve BasiloneMarch 15, 2017 (2017-03-15)4195.42[20]

After Lainey announces she's been accepted by a fashion design school in Savannah, Georgia, Barry panics over the decision to follow his dream of being a doctor or follow his heart and stay with Lainey. He first considers fast-tracking his medical schooling, a la Doogie Howser, which Beverly surprisingly says is impossible. Barry then tries to take on the persona of fashion designer Baré, with the hopes of following Lainey to Georgia, and even presents a fashion show in the Goldberg home using the JTP as models. But Beverly has secretly consulted with Lainey, convincing her to do what is best for Barry and allow him to pursue a medical career, even if it means their relationship might end. Meanwhile, Erica and Adam become enraged that Murray seems to shower his dog Lucky with more love and attention than he does his kids. Erica sets out to prove it, but in cornering her dad with the information, he breaks out in a cry-whisper and says he is upset that she will be leaving for college soon. He remembers that when Erica was a little girl, she would always run into his arms when he came home from work, but now only Lucky does so. Erica tries to console her dad by saying she will look at colleges near Philadelphia, but Murray insists she needs to be on her own, and says he will support her efforts to attend the University of Miami.

Featured Song: "This is the Time" by Billy Joel
9019"A Night to Remember"Lew SchneiderChris BishopMarch 29, 2017 (2017-03-29)4206.07[21]

With prom night approaching, Erica and Geoff badly want to go with each other but are still trying to take things slow on resuming their relationship. They decide to each ask out other people, so they can at least see each other at prom and hang out. Erica asks out Ruben Amaro Jr., while Carla asks Geoff to be her date, as she is mad at Johnny Atkins and is trying to make him jealous. Not long into the prom, Erica and Geoff end up with each other. Meanwhile, despite Barry's pleas, Lainey doesn't want to go to prom at all, seeing it as a painful reminder that their time together is getting shorter. Elsewhere, Adam falls hard for a junior named Jackie (Rowan Blanchard) when she appears to be as much into sci-fi/fantasy as he is. But a problem arises when Adam learns Jackie is a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings which he has never read. Adam is forced to read the CliffsNotes version of the book to converse with Jackie, but his lie is soon discovered.

Featured Song: "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper

Note: The real Jackie Geary appeared on the episode as Jackie's mother.
9120"The Dynamic Duo"Kevin SmithAndrew SecundaApril 5, 2017 (2017-04-05)4175.63[22]

Murray is dead set on having Erica attend his alma mater, Penn State University, and sets up an admissions interview for his daughter. Erica intentionally bombs the interview at Penn State, so her parents would have no choice but to approve her preferred college, Carnegie Mellon University. But Erica soon receives a rejection letter from Carnegie Mellon, making Penn State her only option left. Not to worry: Murray is a Penn State alumnus, so he will be able to smooth things over with the admissions official. The only problem is, Murray never graduated from Penn State, falling one credit short. Angry that Murray pushed college on her when he never even graduated, Erica tries to fulfill her dream of becoming famous by singing on the street in the rain. Murray visits and apologizes for being a hypocrite, and they make up. Meanwhile, Adam and Pops make a date to see the new Batman movie starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. Barry badly wants to be included, but when they get to the theater, Pops and Adam take two seats in a row with no other seats available, forcing Barry to sit way up front by himself. Adam loves the movie, but Pops isn't thrilled because it isn't like the old Batman TV series starring Adam West. Seizing the opportunity, Barry tries to drive a wedge between Adam and Pops' friendship by taping Adam badmouthing the old Batman series and locking Adam in his room to prevent him from stopping him. When Barry shows Pops the video however, Pops sees it as an obvious ploy for his attention. Upset that his plan failed, Barry complains that Adam monopolizes all of Pops' time, and he always feels left out. To make it up, Adam and Pops ask Barry to play a villain in a Batman movie they are creating.

Absent: AJ Michalka as Lainey Lewis
9221"Fonzie Scheme"Jude WengMatt Mira & Erik WeinerApril 26, 2017 (2017-04-26)4215.23[23]

Murray is given the honor of being named businessman of the year. When Beverly sees what he listed as his accomplishments, she is embarrassed and refuses to let anyone see it. While Adam, Barry, and Erica wait for the venue to close, a golfer mistakes Barry for a caddy. Barry decides to do wild and crazy stunts with it. Adams asks Erica what he should do. Erica says she's going off to college, so she won't act as the voice of reason. The golf cart ends up in the middle of the lake, causing Barry to start a "Ponzi Scheme", by stealing golf carts and replacing the previous. Barry ends up getting pinned under the second one, while Adam panics. Erica shows up with the JTP and fixes the problem. She tells Adam that while she may be moving away, she will always be his big sister. Meanwhile, Murray decides to start couponing, in order to impress Beverly. She gets mad at his shopping style, and he says he only did this to make her realize that he was the same man she married. Beverly realized how much she hurt her husband, and says that she never wanted to hurt his feeling, and shows that she added to his accomplishments of all the things he does as a Dad.

Featured Song: "99 Luftballons" by Nena
9322"The Day After the Day After"Jay ChandrasekharAlex BarnowMay 3, 2017 (2017-05-03)4225.16[24]

Barry, Lainey, and the JTP watch The Day After with Murray, and feel the fear of a nuclear war. Barry tries to create a bunker, but Murray crushes Barry's dreams by becoming the new leader of the bunker, and preventing Barry from building his own. After realizing how afraid Barry is, Murray lets on that he too is afraid, and there is nothing they can do but live their lives here and now. Meanwhile, Erica and Adam fight for Beverly's affections with Mother's Day approaching. Each has an alternative agenda: Erica wants to go to Emory University in Georgia, while Adam wants to go with Jackie to the beach. Erica asks first and gets to go to the college of her dreams, so Adam sabotages it by making a video of Erica disappearing, and not being a part of the family. A heartbroken Beverly revokes her decision, Erica tells Adam off, and Jackie sides with Erica. Adam fixes the situation, causing him to miss out on going to the beach with Jackie, but she in turn gives him a second kiss.

Featured Song: "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler
9423"Jedi Master Adam Skywalker"Lew SchneiderDan LevyMay 10, 2017 (2017-05-10)4235.22[25]
Barry and Erica both try to get recognition for something special in the yearbook, particularly battling for "cutest couple" (Barry-Lainey and Erica-Geoff). But their pursuits have to go through Adam, who is now on the yearbook committee with Jackie, and Adam uses this to his benefit by creating a list of demands for his siblings. When Erica and Barry get tired of calling their brother "Jedi Master Adam Skywalker" and doing his chores, they each try to get to his computer and make changes, but Adam catches them. In the battle over a floppy disk with all of the yearbook verbiage, Barry's fingers touch the surface of the disk, rendering it unreadable and causing Jackie to get angry with Adam. Meanwhile, Murray's brother Marvin arrives looking for another handout. Beverly insists that Murray hire him at the furniture store, but this leads to an argument on Marvin's first day and Murray fires him. Beverly later discovers that Marvin is living in his car. In a heart-to-heart, Marvin complains that Murray always treated him like a little kid. Erica and Barry see that they are treating Adam the same way. Murray lets Marvin live in the basement and re-hires him, while Erica and Barry sing a song to recognize Adam as a grown-up.
9524"Graduation Day"Kevin SmithMatthew Edsall & Hans RodionoffMay 17, 2017 (2017-05-17)4245.27[26]

Erica is growing tired of Beverly being sappy and nostalgic as her graduation day approaches, but Geoff helps her realize what a fantastic mom she has. Barry and Lainey make plans for a fun summer together before she heads off to college in Georgia. At the graduation ceremony, Barry overhears Bill Lewis say that Lainey is leaving in a few days, not a few months, causing Barry to confront Lainey on stage. They get into a fight and later, mutually realize their relationship has come to an end. When Erica has her turn, she refuses to accept her diploma as she's now realizing how much she will miss Beverly, leading to Principal Ball chasing her through the auditorium. Beverly is ecstatic that Erica wants to stay, but Murray tells her that he would rather she leave for four years than shelter her for the rest of her life. Realizing that Erica needs to go out into the world and experience life, Beverly tells Erica she needs to go to college, and tearfully tells her that she is going to change the world. Meanwhile, Adam and Jackie make plans to see Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach, and call each other boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time. Things become complicated when Dana Caldwell shows up at the movie theater, saying she's home for the summer. Adam doesn't know what to do, so he panics and runs away. Adam ends up seeing the movie with Dana and attempts to tell her he's with Jackie now, but it turns out he misinterpreted Dana's reason for looking him up. When Adam tells Jackie that Dana is just a part of his past, he learns that Jackie used to date Ruben Amaro Jr., making him worry. Adam later goes to Police Academy 5 with Barry and spots Jackie sitting alone. He sits next to her and the two patch things up.

Featured Song: "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply

Ratings

Viewership and ratings per episode of The Goldbergs
No. Title Air dateRating/share
(18–49)
Viewers
(millions)
DVR
(18–49)
DVR viewers
(millions)
Total
(18–49)
Total viewers
(millions)
1 "Breakfast Club" September 21, 20162.0/86.90[3]0.9N/A2.9[27]N/A
2 "I Heart Video Dating" September 28, 20161.9/76.58[4]0.9N/A2.8[28]N/A
3 "George! George Glass!" October 5, 20161.8/76.23[5]0.8N/A2.6[29]N/A
4 "Crazy Calls" October 12, 20161.9/76.47[6]N/AN/AN/AN/A
5 "Stefan King" October 26, 20161.8/76.14[7]0.8N/A2.6[30]N/A
6 "Recipe for Death II: Kiss the Cook" November 9, 20162.0/76.46[8]0.7N/A2.7[31]N/A
7 "Ho-ly K.I.T.T." November 16, 20161.9/76.45[9]0.7N/A2.6[32]N/A
8 "The Greatest Musical Ever Written" November 30, 20161.7/65.96[10]0.7N/A2.4[33]N/A
9 "Globetrotters" December 7, 20161.5/55.40[11]0.8N/A2.3[34]N/A
10 "Han Ukkah Solo" December 14, 20161.7/66.20[12]0.81.802.58.01[35]
11 "O Captain! My Captain!" January 4, 20171.9/76.73[13]0.8N/A2.7[36]N/A
12 "Snow Day" January 11, 20172.0/76.92[14]0.7N/A2.7[37]N/A
13 "Agassi" February 8, 20171.8/76.19[15]0.8N/A2.6[38]N/A
14 "The Spencer's Gift" February 15, 20171.8/76.50[16]0.7N/A2.5[39]N/A
15 "So Swayze It’s Crazy" February 22, 20171.8/76.21[17]0.7N/A2.5[40]N/A
16 "The Kara-te Kid" March 1, 20171.8/76.17[18]TBDTBDTBDTBD
17 "Deadheads" March 8, 20171.7/65.70[19]0.7N/A2.4[41]N/A
18 "Baré" March 15, 20171.5/65.42[20]0.7N/A2.2[42]N/A
19 "A Night to Remember" March 29, 20171.7/76.07[21]TBDTBDTBDTBD
20 "The Dynamic Duo" April 5, 20171.6/65.63[22]TBDTBDTBDTBD
21 "Fonzie Scheme" April 26, 20171.7/65.23[23]TBDTBDTBDTBD
22 "The Day After the Day After" May 3, 20171.6/65.16[24]TBDTBDTBDTBD
23 "Jedi Master Adam Skywalker" May 10, 20171.3/65.22[25]TBDTBDTBDTBD
24 "Graduation Day" May 17, 20171.4/65.27[26]TBDTBDTBDTBD
gollark: The full osmarks.net setup is hilariously complex, involves at least fifteen different backend services spread across two machines, and involves about 400 lines of nginx configuration.
gollark: Then you won't get HTTPS or nice links.
gollark: It *can* also just serve static files, which are good enough for most cases.
gollark: In any case, unless you're dynamically generating the JS *from scratch* somehow, there's no issue and you don't need to live-compile TS.
gollark: ++delete <@!330678593904443393> UTTERLY

References

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