Bellator Fighting Championships: Season Five

Bellator Fighting Championships: Season Five was the fifth and latest installment of the Bellator Fighting Championships, and began on September 10, 2011.[1] Mixed martial arts tournaments will were held in multiple weight classes, including the bantamweight, welterweight, middleweight, and heavyweight divisions.

Bellator Fighting Championships
GenreSports
Created byBjorn Rebney
Country of originUnited States
Production
Running time120 minutes
Release
Original networkMTV 2
Original releaseSeptember 10 –
November 26, 2011
Chronology
Preceded byBellator Fighting Championships: 2011 Summer Series
Followed byBellator Fighting Championships: Season Six

Events

Bellator 49
Bellator 49
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateSeptember 10, 2011
VenueCaesars Atlantic City
City Atlantic City, New Jersey
Event chronology
Bellator 48 Bellator 49 Bellator 50

Bellator 49 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. The event took place on September 10, 2011 at Caesars Atlantic City in Atlantic City, New Jersey.[2] The card was the debut of the promotion's fifth season and distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the first round of an eight-man welterweight tournament to be held over the duration of Bellator's fifth season.[1]

Rick Hawn was expected to face Ben Saunders at this event but Hawn was forced out of the bout due to a knee injury.[3] Hawn was replaced by Bellator newcomer Chris Cisneros.[4]

The Ultimate Fighter 12 competitor, Andy Main, was set to fight Kenny Foster on the undercard of this event. However, after an undisclosed injury, Main was pulled from the bout.[5]

On September 6, 2011, it was announced Bellator's Season 5 "Local Feature Fights" would be streamed live on Spike.com, starting with this event.[6]

The event drew an estimated 235,000 viewers on MTV2.[7]

Results

Main Card

Lozano defeated Weedman via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).
  • Welterweight Quarterfinal bout: Ben Saunders vs. Chris Cisneros
Saunders defeated Cisneros via TKO (knee to body and punches) at 0:29 of round 3.
Santos defeated Hornbuckle via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).
Lima defeated Carl via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27).

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Bezerra defeated Heckman via TKO (punches) at 1:38 in round 2.
  • Welterweight bout: Giedrius Karavackas vs. LeVon Maynard
Karavackas defeated Maynard via TKO (knee and punches) at 1:32 in round 3.
Roberts defeated Van Artsdalen via technical submission (triangle choke) at 1:47 in round 2.
Caslow defeated Jones via TKO (injury) at 0:15 in round 2.
  • Heavyweight bout: Azunna Anyanwu vs. J.A. Dudley
Anyanwu defeated Dudley via TKO (punches) at 4:16 in round 2.

Bellator 50
Bellator 50
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateSeptember 17, 2011
VenueSeminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
City Hollywood, Florida
Event chronology
Bellator 49 Bellator 50 Bellator 51

Bellator 50 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. The event took place on September 17, 2011 at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida.[8] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

The event hosted the opening round of the middleweight tournament in Bellator's fifth season.[9]

Veteran welterweight fighter Ailton Barbosa won Bellator's open tryouts in Hollywood, Florida in June 2011 to earn his spot on the card.[10]

R.J. Goodridge was scheduled to fight J.P. Reese, but after suffering an undisclosed injury Goodridge pulled out of the bout and was replaced by Martin Brown.[11] Also, Ryan Hodge was scheduled to fight Valdir Araujo, but was pulled from the bout with an injury, and replaced with Brett Cooper.[11]

On September 15, 2011, Luis Palomino suffered an injury in training and was pulled from his scheduled bout with James Edson Berto.[11] Berto was later pulled from the card as well, and the fight was scratched altogether; The two then met at W-1: Reloaded in which Palomino defeated Berto.

A scheduled lightweight bout between Dietter Navarro and Marcelo Goncalves was changed into a 156-lbs catchweight bout after both fighters missed weight.[12]

The event drew an estimated 114,000 viewers on MTV2.[13]

Results

Main Card

Baker defeated Hess via TKO (strikes) at 2:52 of round 3.
  • Middleweight Quarterfinal bout: Victor O'Donnell vs. Brian Rogers
Rogers defeated O'Donnell via TKO (strikes) at 1:56 of round 1.
Shlemenko defeated Galesic via submission (standing guillotine) at 1:55 of round 1
Vianna defeated Alvey via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28).

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

  • Catchweight (140 lbs) bout: Marcos da Matta vs. Shah Bobonis
Bobonis defeated da Matta via KO (punch) at 2:04 of round 3.
  • Catchweight (156 lbs) bout: Dietter Navarro vs. Marcelo Goncalves
Goncalves defeated Navarro via submission (armbar) at 2:01 of round 1.
Cooper defeated Araujo via TKO (punches) at 0:35 of round 3.
Martinez defeated van Hoven via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).
  • Welterweight bout: Ailton Barbosa vs. Ryan Keenan
Barbosa defeated Keenan via submission (rear-naked choke) at 1:55 of round 1.
Souza defeated Kelly via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).
Reese defeated Brown via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).

Bellator 51
Bellator 51
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateSeptember 24, 2011
VenueCanton Memorial Civic Center
CityCanton, Ohio
Event chronology
Bellator 50 Bellator 51 Bellator 52

Bellator 51 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. The event took place on September 24, 2011 at the Canton Memorial Civic Center in Canton, Ohio.[14] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the first round of an eight-man bantamweight tournament to be held over the course of Bellator's fifth season.[15]

Joe Soto was originally scheduled to face Eduardo Dantas in the opening round of the bantamweight-tournament. However, he was pulled from the bout after losing to Eddie Yagin at Tachi Palace Fights 10 and replaced by Wilson Reis.[16]

The Jessica Eye-Casey Noland bout was changed from 125 lbs to a 127 lbs catchweight after Noland failed to make weight.[17]/

The event drew an estimated 158,000 viewers on MTV2.[18]

Results

Main Card

Vila defeated Warren via KO (punch) at 1:04 of round 1.
Dantas defeated Reis via KO (flying knee and punches) at 1:02 of round 2.
Galvao defeated Beebe via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28).
West defeated Nogueira via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-27).

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Caraballo defeated Kempf via TKO (Knee Injury) at 1:19 of Round 1.
Eye defeated Noland via split decision (29–28, 28–29, 29–28).
  • Bantamweight bout: Farkhad Sharipov vs. Jesse Riggleman
Riggleman defeated Sharipov via split decision (29–28, 28–29, 30–27).
  • Light Heavyweight bout: Dane Bonnigson vs. Dan Spohn
Spohn defeated Bonnigson via KO (knee) at 0:09 of round 1.
Hawk defeated Weickert via TKO (retirement) at 5:00 of round 2.
  • Lightweight bout: Clint Musser vs. Joey Holt
Holt defeated Musser via KO (flying knee) at 4:07 of round 1.

Bellator 52
Bellator 52
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateOctober 1, 2011
VenueL'Audberge du Lac Casino Resort
CityLake Charles , Louisiana
Event chronology
Bellator 51 Bellator 52 Bellator 53

Bellator 52 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. It took place on October 1, 2011 at the L'Auberge du Lac Casino Resort in Lake Charles, Louisiana, Louisiana.[19] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the opening round of Bellator's second heavyweight tournament.[20]

Blagoy Ivanov was originally scheduled to face Thiago Santos. Santos, however, was unable to travel from Brazil for the event and was replaced by Zak Jensen.[21]

The event drew an estimated 269,000 viewers on MTV 2.[22]

Results Main Card

Hayes defeated Grove via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28).
Ivanov defeated Jensen via technical submission (guillotine choke) at 2:35 of round 2.
Prindle defeated Wagner via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).
Sparks defeated Holata via KO (punches) at 1:24 of round 1.

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

da Silva defeated Goldsby via submission (D'arce choke) at 3:51 of round 1.
Quayhagen defeated Alexandre via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).
  • Heavyweight bout: Liron Wilson vs. Justin Frazier
Frazier defeated Wilson via TKO (punches) at 1:50 of round 1.
Van Buren defeated Nichols via TKO (punches) at 2:29 of round 2.

Bellator 53
Bellator 53
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateOctober 8, 2011
VenueBuffalo Run Hotel & Casino
CityMiami, Oklahoma
Event chronology
Bellator 52 Bellator 53 Bellator 54

Bellator 53 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. The event took place on October 8, 2011 at the Buffalo Run Hotel & Casino in Miami, Oklahoma.[23] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the second round of the Bellator Season 5 Welterweight Tournament.[24]

The event drew an estimated 103,000 viewers on MTV2.[25]

Results

Main Card

Saunders defeated Santos via submission (americana)[26] at 1:45 of round 3.
Lima defeated Lozano via KO (punch) at 3:14 of round 2.
Mann defeated Foster via submission (triangle choke) at 3:51 of round 1.
Santos defeated Burns via submission (rear-naked choke) at 2:23 of round 1.

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Brooks defeated Scott via TKO (punches) at 2:40 of round 2.
Santana defeated Cobb via submission (armbar) at 2:00 of round 1.
Matthews defeated Bears via unanimous decision (29-28 29-28 29-28).
Davis defeated Dennis via KO (punch) at 0:29 of round 2.
Rickels defeated Avera via submission (triangle choke) at 1:06 of round 2.
Nogueira defeated Laird via submission (guillotine choke) at 0:51 of round 1.

Bellator 54
Bellator 54
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateOctober 15, 2011
VenueBoardwalk Hall
City Atlantic City, New Jersey
Event chronology
Bellator 53 Bellator 54 Bellator 52

Bellator 54 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. The event took place on October 15, 2011 at the Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, New Jersey.[27] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

Bellator bantamweight champion, Zach Makovsky, competed in a non-title bout at this event. He faced one-time UFC competitor Ryan Roberts.[28]

This event hosted the second round of the Bellator Season 5 Middleweight Tournament.[29]

Eddie Alvarez was scheduled to make his second title defense of his lightweight championship against Michael Chandler on this card; however, on September 20, it was announced that Alvarez suffered an injury and the match has been pushed back to Bellator 58.[30]

Karl Amoussou was expected to make his welterweight debut at this event against Joey Kirwan.[31] However, for unknown reasons, Amoussou was pulled from the bout and replaced by Lewis Rumsy.

Results

Main Card

Shlemenko defeated Rogers via TKO (knees) at 2:30 of round 2.
Vianna defeated Baker via TKO (punches) at 0:54 of round 1.
Makovsky defeated Roberts via submission (north/south choke) at 4:48 of round 1.
Kirwan defeated Nazare via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27).

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Bastress defeated Gracie via TKO (doctor stoppage) at 5:00 of round 2.
Carpenter defeated Contaldi via TKO (punch) at 2:16 of round 1.
  • Middleweight bout: Lewis Rumsey vs. Joey Kirwan
Kirwan defeated Rumsey via submission (guillotine choke) at 1:40 of round 1.
Ledesma defeated Kelleher via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).
  • Women's (145 lbs) bout: Andria Caplan vs. Adrienne Seiber
Caplan defeated Seiber via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).

Bellator 55
Bellator 55
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateOctober 22, 2011
VenueCocopah Resort and Casino
City Yuma, Arizona
Event chronology
Bellator 54 Bellator 55 Bellator 56

Bellator 55 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships on October 22, 2011 at Cocopah Resort and Casino in Yuma, Arizona.[32] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the second round of Bellator's Season Five Bantamweight Tournament.

Bellator Light Heavyweight Champion Christian M'Pumbu fought Travis Wiuff in a non-title bout. M'Pumbu become the first Bellator champion to lose in a non-title bout.[33]

Despite a close split decision loss, main eventer Marcos Galvão was awarded a "win" bonus.[34]

The event earned an average of 168,000 viewers on MTV2.[33]

Results

Main Card

Vila defeated Galvão via split decision (27-30, 29-28, 29-28).
Dantas defeated West via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 30-27).
Wiuff defeated M'Pumbu via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28).
Tirloni defeated Gable via submission (rear-naked choke) at 3:54 in round 2.

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Escudero defeated Avila via submission (guillotine choke) at 1:55 in round 1.
  • Catchweight (210 lbs.) bout: Rich Hale vs. Carlos Flores
Hale defeated Flores via TKO (punch) at 0:18 in round 1.
  • Middleweight bout: Edgar Garcia vs. Jacob Ortiz
Ortiz defeated Garcia via KO (punch) at 4:06 of round 1.
  • Lightweight bout: Erin Beach vs. Roscoe Jackson
Beach defeated Jackson via submission (rear-naked choke) at 3:52 in round 1.
Porter defeated Piedmont via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27).
Steinbeiss defeated Moore via submission (rear-naked choke) at 4:52 in round 1.

Bellator 56
Bellator 56
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateOctober 29, 2011
VenueMemorial Hall
City Kansas City, Kansas
Event chronology
Bellator 55 Bellator 56 Bellator 57

Bellator 56 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. It took place on October 29, 2011 at Memorial Hall in Kansas City, Kansas.[35] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the second round of Bellator's second heavyweight tournament.[36]

Mike Hayes was expected to face Blagoi Ivanov at this event, However Hayes was issued a 60-day medical suspension by the Louisiana Boxing and Wrestling Commission due to a fractured orbital bone sustained during his fight with Neil Grove at Bellator 52. Thiago Santos stepped in for the injured Hayes.[37] Ivanov subsequently had to pull out of the bout due to an injury and was replaced by Neil Grove.[38]

Results

Main Card

Askren defeated Hieron via split decision (47-48, 48-47, 48-47).
Santos defeated Grove via submission (rear-naked choke) at 0:38 of Round 1.
Prindle defeated Sparks via KO (Punch) at 0:40 of Round 1.

Local Feature Fight (Spike.com)

Navarro defeated Bears via split decision (29-28, 27-30, 29-28).
Spoon defeated Schindler via unanimous decision. This bout aired on MTV2 following the Prindle/Sparks match.
Tiller defeated Spohn via split decision (30-27, 28-29, 29-28).
Brooks defeated De Souza via unanimous decision (29-27, 30-26, 30-26).
  • Featherweight bout: Jeimeson Saudino vs. Jacob Akin
Akin defeated Saudino via submission (rear-naked choke) at 3:26 of round 1.
  • Bantamweight bout: Aaron Ely vs. Owen Evinger
Ely defeated Evinger via submission (rear-naked choke) at 3:45 of round 1.
Gallemore defeated Ruffin via TKO (retirement) at 5:00 of round 2.

Bellator 57
Bellator 57
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateNovember 12, 2011
VenueCasino Rama
City Rama, Ontario
Event chronology
Bellator 56 Bellator 57 Bellator 58

Bellator 57 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. It took place on November 12, 2011 at Casino Rama in Rama, Ontario.[39] The event was distributed live in primetime by MTV2.

Background

This was the second time that Bellator has come to Canada. Previously, Bellator 47 was also held in Rama, Ontario.

This event hosted the final rounds of Bellator's Season Five Welterweight Tournament and Bellator's Season Five Middleweight Tournament.[40]

Bellator's Women's champion, Zoila Gurgel, was scheduled to compete in a non-title bout against Carina Damm.[40] However, an injury forced her off the card.[41]

Results

Main Card

Lima defeated Saunders via KO (punches) at 1:21 of round 2.
Shlemenko defeated Vianna via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28).
Hollett defeated Hawk via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28).
Bezerra defeated Evans via submission (ankle lock) at 4:04 in round 1.

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Van Buren defeated Levesque via submission (rear naked choke) at 4:38 in round 1.
Horodecki vs. Corey declared a majority draw (29-28 Horodecki, 28-28, 28-28).
Jansen defeated Morvari via submission (rear naked choke) at 2:47 in round 2.
  • Bantamweight bout: Chuck Mady vs. Denis Puric
Puric defeated Mady via TKO (injury-broken jaw) at 5:00 in Round 2.
Shockley defeated Moon via submission (guillotine) at 0:35 in round 1.
  • Lightweight bout: Mike Sledzion vs. Taylor Solomon
Solomon defeated Sledzion via KO (punch) at 1:10 in round 1.

Bellator 58
Bellator 58
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateNovember 19, 2011
VenueSeminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino
City Hollywood, Florida
Event chronology
Bellator 57 Bellator 58 Bellator 59

Bellator 58 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. It took place on November 19, 2011 at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida.[42] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

Shooto’s 183-pound South American champion, Carlos Alexandre Pereira, was expected to make his Bellator debut at this event.[43]

Bellator Middleweight champion, Hector Lombard, was expected to compete in non-title, light heavyweight fight against UFC and Strikeforce veteran, Renato Sobral, at this event.[44] However, for unknown reasons, Sobral was replaced by Trevor Prangley.[42]

The event drew a season high 269,000 viewers with the immediate repeat also drawing 160,000 viewers.[45]

Results

Main Card

Chandler defeated Alvarez via submission (rear naked choke) at 3:06 in round 4 to become the new Bellator Lightweight Champion.
Lombard defeated Prangley via TKO (punches) at 1:06 in round 2.
Aguilar defeated Ellis via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).
Sandro defeated Dias via submission (arm-triangle choke) at 3:56 in round 1.

Local Feature Fights (Spike.com)

Cooper defeated Hess via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).
  • Welterweight bout: Valdir Araujo vs. Ailton Barbosa
Araujo defeated Barbosa via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28 , 29-28).
Alexandre defeated McPhatter via KO (knees) at 0:20 in round 1.
Goodman defeated Billstein via disqualification (illegal soccer kick) at 3:21 in round 2.
  • Lightweight bout: Farkhad Sharipov vs. Fabio Mello
Mello defeated Sharipov via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).

Bellator 59
Bellator 59
Information
PromotionBellator Fighting Championships
DateNovember 26, 2011
VenueCaesars Atlantic City
City Atlantic City, New Jersey
Event chronology
Bellator 58 Bellator 59 Bellator 60

Bellator 59 was a mixed martial arts event held by Bellator Fighting Championships. It took place on November 26, 2011 at Caesars Atlantic City in Atlantic City, New Jersey.[46] The event was distributed live in prime time by MTV2.

Background

This event hosted the final round of Bellator's Season Five Bantamweight Tournament as well as the Bellator's Season Five Heavyweight Tournament.

Michael Costa pulled out of his fight with Lyman Good due to an injury, which led the organization to scrap Good from the event all together. The lightweight bout between Phillipe Nover and Marcin Held was promoted to the main card.[47]

The final of the Heavyweight tournament was ruled a No Contest after an accidental groin kick by Thiago Santos rendered Eric Prindle unable to continue. Following the event Santos failed to make weight for a scheduled rematch causing the bout to be cancelled, and Prindle to be awarded the tournament win by default.[48]

Results

Main Card

The bout was ruled a No Contest after Santos kicked Prindle in the groin at 1:24 of the round 1 and Prindle was unable to continue.
Freire defeated Pellegrino via TKO (punches) at 0:50 of round 1.
Dantas defeated Vila via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).
Held defeated Nover via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28).

Local Feature Fights

Amoussou defeated Martinez via TKO (punches) at 2:20 of round 1.
  • Welterweight bout: LeVon Maynard vs. Christopher Wing
Maynard defeated Wing via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-26).
  • Catchweight (175 lbs) bout: Doug Gordon vs. Lucas Pimenta
Pimenta defeated Gordon via KO (elbows) at 0:40 in round 1.
Heckman defeated Van Artsdalen via submission (standing modified guillotine) at 1:38 in round 1.
  • Middleweight bout: Gregory Milliard vs. Brandon Saling
Milliard defeated Saling via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).

Tournaments

Bantamweight tournament bracket
Quarterfinals Semifinals Finals
         
Ed West DEC
Luis Nogueira 3
Ed West DEC
Eduardo Dantas 3
Wilson Reis TKO
Eduardo Dantas 2
Eduardo Dantas DEC
Alexis Vila 3
Marcos Galvao DEC
Chase Beebe 3
Marcos Galvao DEC
Alexis Vila 3
Joe Warren KO
Alexis Vila 1

Welterweight tournament bracket
Quarterfinals Semifinals Finals
         
Douglas Lima DEC
Steve Carl 3
Douglas Lima KO
Chris Lozano 2
Brent Weedman DEC
Chris Lozano 3
Douglas Lima TKO
Ben Saunders 2
Luis Santos DEC
Dan Hornbuckle 3
Luis Santos SUB
Ben Saunders 3
Chris Cisneros TKO
Ben Saunders 3

Middleweight tournament bracket
Quarterfinals Semifinals Finals
         
Bryan Baker TKO
Jared Hess 3
Bryan Baker TKO
Vitor Vianna 1
Vitor Vianna DEC
Sam Alvey 3
Vitor Vianna DEC
Alexander Shlemenko 3
Brian Rogers TKO
Victor O'Donnell 1
Brian Rogers TKO
Alexander Shlemenko 2
Zelg Galesic SUB
Alexander Shlemenko 1

Heavyweight tournament bracket
Quarterfinals Semifinals Finals
         
Mark Holata KO
Ron Sparks 1
Ron Sparks KO
Eric Prindle 1
Eric Prindle DEC
Abe Wagner 3
Eric Prindle[3][4] D/Q
Thiago Santos N/A
Neil Grove DEC
Mike Hayes 3
Thiago Santos[1] SUB
Neil Grove[2] 1
Blagoi Ivanov SUB
Zak Jensen 2

^ 1: Thiago Santos replaced Mike Hayes after Hayes was forced out due to a broke orbital bone. He defeated Josh Burns at Bellator 53 to earn the reserve spot.
^ 2: Neil Grove was brought back into the tournament, replacing Blagoi Ivanov, after Ivanov was forced out due to an unspecified injury.
^ 3: The final was officially ruled a No Contest after Santos kicked Prindle in the groin and Prindle was unable to continue.
^ 4: Prindle was awarded the tournament title after Santos missed weight for the rematch.

gollark: Unlikely, they don't even all use the same mechanisms.
gollark: Also, there are multiple antidepressants, so if one accidentally turns you into a zombie just use another kind.
gollark: *Pretend* to be fakely faking your death, but then *really* fake your death while they're distracted?
gollark: Or fake really faking your death, but then fake that.
gollark: Oh, or fake faking faking your death.

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