2008–09 Brentford F.C. season

During the 2008–09 English football season, Brentford competed in Football League Two. The club finished the season as champions to win promotion to Football League One.

Brentford
2008–09 season
ChairmanGreg Dyke
ManagerAndy Scott
StadiumGriffin Park
League Two1st (promoted)
FA CupSecond round
League CupFirst round
Football League TrophySecond round
Top goalscorerLeague: MacDonald (16)
All: MacDonald (18)
Highest home attendance10,642
Lowest home attendance3,733
Average home league attendance5,707

Season summary

Forward Charlie MacDonald top-scored with 18 goals during the season.

The 2008–09 season would be Brentford's second consecutive campaign in League Two, after relegation to the fourth tier for the first time in 9 years at the end of the 2006–07 season.[1] Manager Andy Scott, who was beginning his first full season in the job, had signed a new five-year contract in April 2008.[2] Despite working with a "mediocre budget",[3] he brought in 12 new players – 8 on permanent deals and four on loan.[4] The pick of the signings were new forward Charlie MacDonald for an undisclosed fee from Southend United, central midfielder Marcus Bean from Blackpool on a free transfer and the re-signing on loan of goalkeeper Ben Hamer and central defender Alan Bennett from Reading until the end of the season.[4]

The season began with consecutive defeats in the league and League Cup to Bury and Swansea City respectively,[5] before an unbeaten run of 12 league matches put Brentford in the automatic promotion places,[6] with midfielder Glenn Poole continuing his good form from the previous season by scoring seven goals during the run.[7] Two defeats in a row dropped the Bees to 9th in early November, before another unbeaten run put the club back in the automatic promotion places by 20 December.[6] Brentford moved into second position after a 2–0 victory over Bournemouth on Boxing Day and consistently good results kept the club on the tail of leaders Wycombe Wanderers through January and early February 2009.[6][8]

A 1–1 draw with Accrington Stanley on 10 February moved the Bees moved into top spot and consistently good results,[9] aided by the goalscoring of January loan acquisition Jordan Rhodes,[10] kept the club at the summit into mid-March.[6] Brentford and Wycombe Wanderers faced off at Griffin Park on 14 March in front of a season-high crowd of 10,642 and the match yielded a 3–3 draw,[9] with Aston Villa loanee Sam Williams "smashing in" late in proceedings to salvage a point for the Bees.[11] Three days later, Brentford suffered a first defeat for six weeks after a home defeat to Chesterfield, but remained top of the table.[6] Despite season-ending injuries to Jordan Rhodes, Nathan Elder, top scorer Charlie MacDonald and captain Kevin O'Connor,[12][13][14][15] manager Andy Scott strengthened the squad with a new front line of loanees Billy Clarke and Damian Spencer and central defender Darren Powell (who played alongside Scott in Brentford's previous fourth-tier championship triumph a decade earlier) returned to the club on a short-term contract.[9][16]

Three draws in a row in late March and early April kept Brentford top,[6] before a first win for over a month was achieved in "The Battle of Bournemouth" on 13 April,[3] in which Darren Powell was sent off for fighting with teammate Karleigh Osborne.[17] Despite missing the chance to clinch promotion after a comprehensive defeat to play-off challengers Dagenham & Redbridge on 21 April, promotion and the League Two title were sealed with a 3–1 away win over Darlington in the penultimate match of the season.[9] Captain Kevin O'Connor and stand-in skipper Alan Bennett held the League Two championship trophy aloft after a 2–0 win over Luton Town at Griffin Park on the final day.[18]

League table

Pos Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Promotion, qualification or relegation
1 Brentford (C, P) 46 23 16 7 65 36 +29 85 Promotion to Football League One
2 Exeter City (P) 46 22 13 11 65 50 +15 79
3 Wycombe Wanderers (P) 46 20 18 8 54 33 +21 78
4 Bury 46 21 15 10 63 43 +20 78 Qualification for League Two play-offs
5 Gillingham (O, P) 46 21 12 13 58 55 +3 75
Source: The Football League
Rules for classification: 1) points; 2) goal difference; 3) number of goals scored.
(C) Champion; (O) Play-off winner; (P) Promoted.

Results

Brentford's goal tally listed first.

Legend

Win Draw Loss

Pre-season

DateOpponentVenueResultAttendanceScorer(s)
11 July 2008Ipswich TownH0–2n/a
15 July 2008BromleyA1–2n/aConnell
19 July 2008AFC WimbledonA2–11,361 Connell, Elder
22 July 2008Staines TownA3–01,009 Antonio, Pead, Connell
26 July 2008WatfordH1–1n/aMacDonald
30 July 2008Hampton & Richmond BoroughA2–01,078Connell, Ademola
2 August 2008WokingA5–1966Connell (2), Poole, Williams, Phillips

Football League Two

No. DateOpponentVenueResultAttendanceScorer(s)
1 9 August 2008BuryA0–12,819
2 16 August 2008Grimsby TownH4–04,009MacDonald, Elder, Poole
3 23 August 2008BarnetA1–02,815Poole (pen)
4 30 August 2008Rotherham UnitedH0–04,381
5 6 September 2008Dagenham & RedbridgeH2–14,519Elder, MacDonald
6 13 September 2008Wycombe WanderersA0–05,799
7 20 September 2008Lincoln CityH1–14,557Elder
8 27 September 2008ChesterfieldA1–03,188Bean
9 4 October 2008Macclesfield TownH1–04,773MacDonald
10 13 October 2008Notts CountyA1–16,012Poole
11 18 October 2008Aldershot TownA1–15,023Poole
12 21 October 2008MorecambeH3–13,733MacDonald, Poole, Elder
13 25 October 2008Shrewsbury TownH1–15,362MacDonald
14 28 October 2008Chester CityA0–31,301
15 1 November 2008RochdaleH1–24,291Bowditch
16 15 November 2008Port ValeA3–06,058Osborne, Bean, MacDonald
17 22 November 2008DarlingtonH1–14,837Osborne
18 25 November 2008Luton TownA1–05,248Elder
19 13 December 2008Bradford CityH2–14,339Osborne, Elder
20 20 December 2008GillinghamA1–15,521MacDonald
21 26 December 2008BournemouthH2–06,450Bean (2)
22 28 December 2008Exeter CityA2–06,791MacDonald (pen), Wood
23 10 January 2009Lincoln CityA2–23,932Bean, Bowditch
24 17 January 2009Notts CountyH1–15,465Phillips
25 24 January 2009Macclesfield TownA0–21,942
26 27 January 2009Aldershot TownH3–05,111Bean, MacDonald (pen), Rhodes
27 31 January 2009Shrewsbury TownA3–15,674Rhodes (3)
28 3 February 2009MorecambeA0–21,253
29 7 February 2009Chester CityH3–04,719MacDonald (3, 1 pen)
30 10 February 2009Accrington StanleyA1–11,111Rhodes
31 14 February 2009Port ValeH2–04,702Osborne, MacDonald
32 21 February 2009RochdaleA2–13,412Rhodes, MacDonald
33 28 February 2009BuryH1–06,597Bean
34 3 March 2009Grimsby TownA1–03,001MacDonald
35 7 March 2009Rotherham UnitedA0–03,406
36 10 March 2009BarnetH1–04,742Bean
37 14 March 2009Wycombe WanderersH3–310,642Rhodes, Hunt, Williams
38 17 March 2009ChesterfieldH0–14,541
39 28 March 2009GillinghamH1–17,908Hunt
40 4 April 2009Bradford CityA1–112,832Clarke
41 11 April 2009Exeter CityH1–18,234Clarke
42 13 April 2009BournemouthA1–08,168Clarke[nb 1]
43 18 April 2009Accrington StanleyH3–07,135Williams, Dickson, Clarke (pen)
44 21 April 2009Dagenham & RedbridgeA1–33,537Spencer
45 25 April 2009DarlingtonA3–13,868Bennett, Clarke (2)
46 2 May 2009 Luton Town H 2–0 10,223 Osborne, Newton

FA Cup

RoundDateOpponentVenueResultAttendance Scorer(s)
R1 9 November 2008 Havant & Waterlooville A 3–1 1,631 Williams, MacDonald, Elder
R2 28 November 2008 Barrow A 1–2 3,532 MacDonald

Football League Cup

RoundDateOpponentVenueResultAttendance
R112 August 2008Swansea CityA0–25,366

Football League Trophy

RoundDateOpponentVenueResultAttendance Scorer(s)
SR1 2 September 2008 Yeovil Town H 2–2 (a.e.t.), won 4–2 on pens) 1,339 Poole (pen), O'Connor
SR2 7 October 2008 Luton Town A 2–2 (a.e.t.), lost 4–3 on pens) 2,029 Poole, Williams

Playing squad

Players' ages are as of the opening day of the 2008–09 season.
No Position Name Nationality Date of birth (age) Signed from Signed in Notes
Goalkeepers
1 GK Ben Hamer (1987-11-20)20 November 1987 (aged 20) Reading 2008 On loan from Reading
21 GK Simon Brown (1976-03-12)12 March 1976 (aged 32) Hibernian 2007 Loaned to Darlington
31 GK Seb Brown (1989-11-24)24 November 1989 (aged 18) Youth 2006
33 GK Lloyd Anderson (1990-10-17)17 October 1990 (aged 17) Youth 2008
Defenders
3 DF Ryan Dickson (1986-12-14)14 December 1986 (aged 21) Plymouth Argyle 2007
5 DF Mark Phillips (1982-01-27)27 January 1982 (aged 26) Unattached 2008
6 DF Alan Bennett (1981-10-04)4 October 1981 (aged 26) Reading 2008 On loan from Reading
14 DF Brett Johnson (1985-08-15)15 August 1985 (aged 22) Unattached 2008
22 DF Karleigh Osborne (1988-03-19)19 March 1988 (aged 20) Youth 2004 Loaned to Oxford United and Eastbourne Borough
24 DF Fraser Franks (1990-11-22)22 November 1990 (aged 17) Youth 2008
26 DF John Halls (1982-02-14)14 February 1982 (aged 26) Unattached 2008
27 DF Darren Powell (1976-03-10)10 March 1976 (aged 32) Unattached 2009
Midfielders
2 MF Kevin O'Connor (c) (1982-02-24)24 February 1982 (aged 26) Youth 2000
4 MF Marcus Bean (1984-11-02)2 November 1984 (aged 23) Blackpool 2008
7 MF Adam Newton (1980-04-12)12 April 1980 (aged 28) Peterborough United 2008
8 MF Gary Smith (1984-01-30)30 January 1984 (aged 24) Milton Keynes Dons 2007
11 MF Glenn Poole (1981-02-03)3 February 1981 (aged 27) Grays Athletic 2007
15 MF David Hunt (1982-09-10)10 September 1982 (aged 25) Shrewsbury Town 2009
16 MF Sam Wood (1986-08-09)9 August 1986 (aged 22) Bromley 2008
17 MF Craig Pead (1981-09-15)15 September 1981 (aged 26) Walsall 2007
25 MF Lewis Ochoa (1991-06-24)24 June 1991 (aged 17) Youth 2008
29 MF Craig Dobson (1984-01-23)23 January 1984 (aged 24) Unattached 2009
32 MF Marvin Williams (1987-08-12)12 August 1987 (aged 20) Yeovil Town 2008
Forwards
9 FW Nathan Elder (1985-04-05)5 April 1985 (aged 23) Brighton & Hove Albion 2008
10 FW Charlie MacDonald (1981-02-13)13 February 1981 (aged 27) Southend United 2008
18 FW Sam Williams (1987-06-09)9 June 1987 (aged 21) Aston Villa 2009 On loan from Aston Villa
19 FW Moses Ademola (1989-07-18)18 July 1989 (aged 19) Croydon Athletic 2008 Loaned to Welling United
20 FW Damian Spencer (1981-09-19)19 September 1981 (aged 26) Cheltenham Town 2009 On loan from Cheltenham Town
23 FW Ross Montague (1988-11-01)1 November 1988 (aged 19) Youth 2007 Loaned to Basingstoke Town
28 FW Billy Clarke (1987-12-13)13 December 1987 (aged 20) Ipswich Town 2009 On loan from Ipswich Town
Players who left the club mid-season
12 FW Dean Bowditch (1986-06-15)15 June 1986 (aged 22) Ipswich Town 2008 Returned to Ipswich Town after loan
12 FW Alan Connell (1983-02-05)5 February 1983 (aged 25) Hereford United 2007 Transferred to Bournemouth
12 FW Jordan Rhodes (1990-02-05)5 February 1990 (aged 18) Ipswich Town 2009 Returned to Ipswich Town after loan
12 MF Josh Wright (1989-11-06)6 November 1989 (aged 18) Charlton Athletic 2008 Returned to Charlton Athletic after loan
15 MF Damian Scannell (1985-04-28)28 April 1985 (aged 23) Southend United 2008 Returned to Southend United after loan
15 DF James Wilson (1989-02-26)26 February 1989 (aged 19) Bristol City 2008 Returned to Bristol City after loan
18 DF Darius Charles (1987-12-10)10 December 1987 (aged 20) Youth 2004 Loaned to Ebbsfleet United, transferred to Ebbsfleet United
20 MF Frankie Artus (1988-09-27)27 September 1988 (aged 19) Bristol City 2008 Returned to Bristol City after loan
20 FW Eric Odhiambo (1989-05-12)12 May 1989 (aged 19) Leicester City 2008 Returned to Leicester City after loan
34 GK Mikkel Andersen (1988-12-17)17 December 1988 (aged 19) Reading 2008 Returned to Reading after loan

Coaching staff

Name

Role
Andy Scott Manager
Terry Bullivant Assistant Manager
Dave Appanah Physiotherapist
Dave Carter Kit Man

Statistics

Appearances and goals

Substitute appearances in brackets.
No Pos Nat Name League FA Cup League Cup FL Trophy Total
Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals
2 MF Kevin O'Connor 25 (3) 0 2 0 1 0 2 1 29 (3) 1
3 DF Ryan Dickson 31 (8) 1 2 0 0 0 1 (1) 0 34 (9) 1
4 MF Marcus Bean 43 (1)920101047 (1)9
5 DF Mark Phillips 28 (5)12 00 02 0 32 (5)1
7 MF Adam Newton 30 (5)10 (1)0102033 (6)1
8 MF Gary Smith 2 (2)0000 0 002 (2)0
9 FW Nathan Elder 18 (9) 6 2 1 1 0 0 0 21 (9) 7
10 FW Charlie MacDonald 38162200104118
11 MF Glenn Poole 18 (8)510102222 (8)7
12 FW Alan Connell 1 (1)0001 (1)0
14 DF Brett Johnson 7 (3)00010109 (3)0
15 MF David Hunt 10 (10) 2 10 (10) 2
16 MF Sam Wood 37 (3)11 (1) 00 00 (1) 0 38 (5)1
17 MF Craig Pead 5 (1)01010108 (1)0
19 FW Moses Ademola 0 (8) 0 0 0 0 (1) 0 1 (1) 0 1 (10) 0
21 GK Simon Brown 0 (1)00 (1)0
22 DF Karleigh Osborne 19 (4)41 (1)0001 0 21 (5)4
23 FW Ross Montague 000 01 (1) 01 (1)0
26 DF John Halls 22 (1)0100023 (1)0
27 DF Darren Powell 3 (1)03 (1)0
31 GK Seb Brown 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0
32 MF Marvin Williams 21 (13) 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 24 (13) 2
33 GK Lloyd Anderson 000 (1)00 0000 (1)0
Players loaned in during the season
1 GK Ben Hamer 4502 01 01 0 490
6 DF Alan Bennett 44 1 2 0 1 0 0 0 47 1
12 FW Dean Bowditch 8 (1) 2 0 0 8 (1) 2
12 FW Jordan Rhodes 14 7 14 7
12 MF Josh Wright 501 060
15 MF Damian Scannell 1 (1) 0 1 (1) 0
15 DF James Wilson 14 0 1 0 1 0 16 0
20 MF Frankie Artus 0 (1) 0 0 0 1 0 1 (1) 0
20 FW Eric Odhiambo 0 0 0 (1) 0 0 (1) 0
20 FW Damian Spencer 3 (2) 1 3 (2) 1
28 FW Billy Clarke 8 6 8 6
34 GK Mikkel Andersen 1 0 1 0
  • Players listed in italics left the club mid-season.
  • Source: Soccerbase

Goalscorers

No Pos Nat Player FL2 FAC FLC FLT Total
10 FW Charlie MacDonald 16 2 0 0 18
4 MF Marcus Bean 9 0 0 0 9
12 FW Jordan Rhodes 7 7
9 FW Nathan Elder 6 1 0 0 7
11 MF Glenn Poole 5 0 0 2 7
28 FW Billy Clarke 6 6
22 DF Karleigh Osborne 4 0 0 0 4
15 MF David Hunt 2 2
12 FW Dean Bowditch 2 0 2
32 MF Marvin Williams 0 1 0 1 2
20 FW Damian Spencer 1 1
6 DF Alan Bennett 1 0 0 0 1
3 DF Ryan Dickson 1 0 0 0 1
7 MF Adam Newton 1 0 0 0 1
5 DF Mark Phillips100 01
16 MF Sam Wood 1 0 0 0 1
2 MF Kevin O'Connor 0 0 0 1 1
Total6540473
  • Players listed in italics left the club mid-season.
  • Source: Soccerbase

Discipline

No Pos Nat Player FL2 FAC FLC FLT Total Pts
9 FW Nathan Elder 5 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 2 11
4 MF Marcus Bean4 00 01 1 0 05 1 8
6 DF Alan Bennett 4 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 6 0 6
2 MF Kevin O'Connor 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 1 6
3 DF Ryan Dickson 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 5
7 MF Adam Newton 4 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 5
1 GK Ben Hamer 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 2 1 5
27 DF Darren Powell 1 1 1 1 4
10 FW Charlie MacDonald 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 3
22 DF Karleigh Osborne 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 3
11 MF Glenn Poole 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 0 3
32 MF Marvin Williams 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 0 3
26 DF John Halls 2 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2
5 DF Mark Phillips 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2
16 MF Sam Wood 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2
20 FW Damian Spencer 1 0 1 0 1
12 FW Dean Bowditch 1 0 0 0 1 0 1
12 MF Josh Wright 1 0 0 0 1 0 1
15 DF James Wilson 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1
14 DF Brett Johnson 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 1
Total47 42 13 13 055 6 73
  • Players listed in italics left the club mid-season.
  • Source: ESPN FC

Management

Name Nat From To Record All Comps Record League
PWDLW %PWDLW %
Andy Scott 9 August 2008 2 May 2009 51 24 18 9 047.06|46 23 16 7 050.00

Summary

Games played51 (46 League Two, 2 FA Cup, 1 League Cup, 2 Football League Trophy)
Games won24 (23 League Two, 1 FA Cup, 0 League Cup, 0 Football League Trophy)
Games drawn18 (16 League Two, 0 FA Cup, 0 League Cup, 2 Football League Trophy)
Games lost9 (7 League Two, 1 FA Cup, 1 League Cup, 0 Football League Trophy)
Goals scored73 (65 League Two, 4 FA Cup, 0 League Cup, 4 Football League Trophy)
Goals conceded45 (36 League Two, 3 FA Cup, 2 League Cup, 4 Football League Trophy)
Clean sheets19 (19 League Two, 0 FA Cup, 0 League Cup, 0 Football League Trophy)
Biggest league win4–0 versus Grimsby Town, 16 August 2008
Worst league defeat2–0 versus Chester City, 28 October 2008
Most appearances48, Marcus Bean (44 League Two, 2 FA Cup, 1 League Cup, 1 Football League Trophy)
Top scorer (league)16, Charlie MacDonald
Top scorer (all competitions)18, Charlie MacDonald

Transfers & loans

Players transferred in
Date Pos. Name Previous Club Fee Ref.
1 July 2008 FW Moses Ademola Croydon Athletic £3,000 [19]
1 July 2008 MF Marcus Bean Blackpool Free [20]
1 July 2008 MF Adam Newton Peterborough United Free [21]
1 July 2008 MF Marvin Williams Yeovil Town Nominal [22]
1 July 2008 MF Sam Wood Bromley Free [19]
9 July 2008 FW Charlie MacDonald Southend United Undisclosed [23]
5 August 2008 DF Brett Johnson Unattached Free [24]
14 August 2008 DF Mark Phillips Unattached Free [25]
25 September 2008 DF John Halls Unattached Free [26]
9 January 2009 MF David Hunt Shrewsbury Town Free [27]
21 March 2009 DF Darren Powell Unattached Free [28]
24 March 2009 MF Craig Dobson Unattached Free [29]
Players loaned in
Date from Pos. Name From Date to Ref.
17 June 2008 GK Ben Hamer Reading End of season [30]
17 June 2008 DF Leigh Mills Tottenham Hotspur 7 August 2008 [31]
8 August 2008 MF Frankie Artus Bristol City 7 September 2008 [32]
8 August 2008 DF Alan Bennett Reading End of season [33]
8 August 2008 DF James Wilson Bristol City 7 November 2008 [32]
19 September 2008 MF Josh Wright Charlton Athletic 20 October 2008 [34]
31 October 2008 FW Dean Bowditch Ipswich Town 13 January 2009 [35]
27 November 2008 FW Eric Odhiambo Leicester City 27 December 2008 [36]
27 November 2008 MF Damian Scannell Southend United 27 December 2008 [36]
9 December 2008 GK Mikkel Andersen Reading 17 December 2008 [37]
23 January 2009 FW Jordan Rhodes Ipswich Town 18 March 2009 [38]
9 March 2009 FW Sam Williams Aston Villa End of season [39]
20 March 2009 FW Damian Spencer Cheltenham Town End of season [40]
21 March 2009 FW Billy Clarke Ipswich Town End of season [28]
Players transferred out
Date Pos. Name Subsequent club Fee Ref.
25 June 2008 DF Matthew Heywood Grimsby Town Free [41]
29 August 2008 FW Alan Connell Bournemouth Undisclosed [42]
29 January 2009 DF Darius Charles Ebbsfleet United £15,000 [43]
Players loaned out
Date from Pos. Name To Date to Ref.
20 June 2008 DF Darius Charles Ebbsfleet United 28 January 2009 [44]
2 August 2008 GK Simon Brown Darlington 5 January 2009 [45]
1 September 2008 DF Karleigh Osborne Oxford United 30 September 2008 [46]
10 October 2008 DF Karleigh Osborne Eastbourne Borough 8 November 2008 [47]
17 October 2008 FW Ross Montague Basingstoke Town 17 January 2009 [48]
4 December 2008 FW Moses Ademola Welling United 8 January 2009 [49]
17 February 2009 FW Moses Ademola Welling United 18 March 2009 [10]
2 April 2009 FW Geoff Banks-Smith Lewes End of season [50]
Players released
Date Pos. Name Subsequent club Join date Ref.
30 June 2009 GK Lloyd Anderson Maldon Town 2009 [51]
30 June 2009 GK Seb Brown AFC Wimbledon 1 August 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 MF Craig Dobson Mansfield Town 9 October 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 DF John Halls Aldershot Town 28 July 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 DF Brett Johnson AFC Wimbledon 4 August 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 FW Ross Montague AFC Wimbledon 28 August 2009 [53]
30 June 2009 MF Adam Newton Luton Town 28 May 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 MF Lewis Ochoa Maidenhead United August 2009 [54]
30 June 2009 MF Craig Pead Coventry Sphinx August 2010 [55]
30 June 2009 MF Glenn Poole Grays Athletic 28 August 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 DF Darren Powell Milton Keynes Dons 11 August 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 MF Gary Smith Darlington 11 August 2009 [52]
30 June 2009 GK Simon Brown Northampton Town 11 September 2009 [56]

Kit

Supplier: Puma
Sponsor(s): Hertings

Home
Away

Source: Brentford F.C.

Awards

Notes

  1. Media outlets misreported the goal as being scored by Darren Powell.
gollark: You mean Lyricly.
gollark: Is someone trying to develop Macron here?
gollark: In retrospect, we should have done the gambit as late as possible.
gollark: I can disrupt this if I somehow alter UTC really fast.
gollark: Sad.

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