Sburb Patch Notes

"+++ Out Of Cheese Error +++ Please Remove Universe And Reboot +++ Redo From Start +++" - Adachi

"IM: The code countains everything in the SBURB-verse. Even us. Even quite a few things that AREN'T part of the SBURB-verse. Only Lord English is somehow outside the code, yet inside the SBURB-verse." - 404

"Skaianet is the source of, and protector of, all universes. We give the tools to those worthy, and weed out those who have no hope. Through machination and machinery, we sort the wheat from the chaff, the strong from the weak, and create the most able universes possible. We do this for reasons that few can grasp, and that change constantly, regardless of any opinions. We guard and spread reality. We are the opposite of oblivion. We are skaia net." - Khalik

A fanfic which can be summed up as Homestuck behind the scenes, with a dash of Crazy Awesome.

The SBURB Patch Notes (previous thread, and the one before that) Play By Post Game is, in a word, the unusual story of a group of developers that create the legendary game that will end the world, keeping it patched and updated across universes in paradox space.

Oh wait, did I say developers? More like a cross between Troubleshooters (from which they derive their high mortality rate and tendency to literally jump into a problem), flashy hackers (which grants them god-tier coding abilities, which they need to navigate convoluted code built up through all of time and several parallel universes), and, often, Sburb players themselves (most of them have at least one of the Elemental Powers, directly related to their game experience). Going Serial Escalation is in the job description.

In any case, the group is privy to many disasters that require them to scramble to preserve the fabric of paradox space, from Space Marines and glitch invasions to Nanomachines, viruses, and ponies. As often, they deal with the players of the game - players who take advantage of Sequence Breaking, who stumble into Game Breaking Bugs, who want to screw the game over, time loops and all, who have no idea what's going on: all of them might just break the universe into teensy little pieces, and the Skaianet Sburb dev team are the only people who can put it back together, Because Destiny Says So.

Also, they have pizza.

The Wiki Rule was in effect here [dead link] , but everyone just used All The Tropes for that anyway.

Tropes used in Sburb Patch Notes include:

Tricia Glasswell: "As those who are watching from beyond the Fourth Wall already know…"

Daniel Kopton: (after being kicked out of the servers by The Dragon) "THIS IS BY NO MEANS OVER!"
Avery T. Deaconari: "You just signed your own death warrant, Ton. Not even the Grey King can save you from what's to come when we return…"

Bluesunnyday OH GOD! IT FEELS LIKE MY VEINS WERE TORN OPEN!
Tricia Glasswell: Why do all the non-organics assume that blood iron is an unlimited resource!?

"Apparently, the Superintelligent Hammerspace Gatling Multicannon requires "Skynet Grist" for alchemization. While I'm sure we have it, I'm not sure that I'd trust anything that required it. Especially not if it's superintelligent."

Daniel Kopton:If you're wondering what I'm talking about, go look up Bullet Hell on TV Tropes.

The Almighty 404: After negotiations with Lord English, I managed to bag us a Pink Sun in a Dyson sphere and a quantum accelerator. I also alchemited an infinite rubik's tesseract using a standard Rubik's cube and a map of our offices.

Avery: "Obviously, We will want Reason, and plenty of ammunition for both it and the M4000. Plasma pistols as sidearms, I think, with enough elerium pods to power them for an extended period of time."
SHODAN: "What about M22 assault rifles, Apollo H4 laser pistols, or TC-11 grenade launchers?"
Avery: “That might be overkill. Then again… there is no kill like overkill."

  1. Short for God-Tiered Ultimate Grey King of Skaianet
  2. by analogy with "Mother of God"
  3. which means "enlightened" in Arabic
  4. libpurple, for example, is a real programming library that has bindings for several popular messaging programs, thus why it shows up buried in Pesterchum's code.
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