< Obscurus Lupa

Obscurus Lupa/Funny

/wiki/Obscurus Lupacreator

Lupa (in a voice of mock enthusiasm): "OSCAR GOLD!"

    • "I just got the results of the test, I definitely was hit by a car/mauled by a lion/just pooped myself."
    • Playing the Full House theme over a recurring Stock Footage scene of the Golden Gate Bridge.
    • Her reaction to Johnny's suicidal temper tantrum; she's laughing herself to pieces and can barely breathe!
  • From Hard to Kill

Lupa: "Ohai, street sign!"
Lupa: (as small boy) Hey, Dad, can I have a glass of therapy?

    • The intro.

Lupa: Pff! You call this a Dr Pepper?! It's completely flat!

  • From her review of "Gymkata:"

Movie character: They call him the stork.
Lupa: Because he's where babies come from?

    • During a scene where a villain is chasing the hero:

Lupa: (As hero) I hope no-one notices how girly my run is!

Lupa: (As villain) Did you see how girly that guy was runnin'?

    • "Ready for some forced sexual tension?"
    • "Why do all the hits sound like gunshots? Is that why guns are banned so no one gets confused?"
    • The "Terrorist Chase Sequence", Complete with Benny Hill music
    • "Fear my dubbing, you horrible Yank! Look how high my pants are!"
  • "But what'll we call it?" "...Teen Sorcery?" "...:D"
    • "Oh, I had this horrible nightmare that I was in this Pulsepounders movie... Oh Crap, it's you guys."
  • The end of X-Treme Fighter, where she plays "Just Dance" over the final karate competition.
    • "DEDDY"
  • A Day in the Life of Tommy Wiseau. Especially the phone call sequence.
    • And this:

Cinema Snob!Wiseau: You're TEARING ME APART, LUPA!
Lupa: What.

    • The Critic's take on the character deserves special mention. It's a mixed bag of childlike idiocy and Steven Wright-esque jokes.

"[Coconuts] are a type of chocolate."
"I was flying over New Mexico once. Not in a plane, just flying."
"Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night because your knee is jerking? I think that's because of the knee elves."

    • The ironic classical music that begins as soon as Linkara!Wiseau appears and continues through the rest of the scene.
    • Critic!Wiseau making a new movie called Vampires Suck.

Critic!Wiseau: One time, I was flying over New Mexico. Not in an airplane, just flying.

    • "You are tearing me apart, other person on the phone!"

Todd in the Shadows!Wiseau: Oh hi. Oh hi. Oh hi. Oh hi. Football.

  • In the Cinema Snob's Caligula outtakes: "Robo-cocks!"
  • Her Lampshading of her sub-par self-made title card for "Beer Bad."

Lupa: I already have a title card for this week. I worked on it real hard!

  • Shark Attack 3:
    • Jeremiah reenacts a shower sex scene - by standing in a shower, fondling, rubbing and kissing two cantaloupes.
    • "Here, you'll notice that John Barrowman has two acting modes, one being 'shiny teeth' and the other being 'hammy'."
    • "I was just hanging out in my low-cut sexy top, doing marine biology. Won't you come in and ogle me?"
  • Trapping Angry Joe in footage of Gerry if nothing else for Joe's reaction.
  • During her review of Blood Red Moon, a Twilight ripoff, she makes the following quip regarding the protagonist. "Unfortunately for Meagan if Bella has the personality of a paper bag, in comparision she has the personality of the tree it was made from."
    • Also: "He (i.e. Victor) was transformed as a teenager with no social skills! He's doomed to be perpetually mediocre!"
    • "That's not a blood red moon! Touché, movie - you've thrown me in for a loop!"
    • "The special features include, but are not limited to, 'Behind the Sceens'".
    • "If you ever wondered what Twilight would look like if it was shot in Canada and the actors were paid in silly string and broken dreams, look no further than Blood Red Moon!"
    • Her singing "Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail-fail-fail-fail-fail!" over Victor and the Jock's... erm, 'fight'.
      • And again during the, ahem, 'fight' between Victor and The Sheriff.
    • Salacious Crumb's appearance.
  • The review of another Z-grade vampire movie movie Vampegeddon is chock full of these:

Liz: (brings out alcohol) Thanks to my parents, tonight's going to be very memorable.
Lupa: "You know you're old enough to buy it yourself now, right?"

      • And later...

Lupa: They are supposed to be in high school? I was joking earlier!

    • The "FREEDOM!" montage.
    • "I like this guy's expression here, it's like he can't believe he's in this movie either."
  • Buffy The Vampire Slayer: "Oh, what charming rubes they are. I know I like guys who are constantly drunk."
    • Anytime she points out how incredibly creepy almost anything Merrick does is. There's even a montage!
  • Whenever people in Witchery get sucked into another dimension, it's accompanied by a red swirly tunnel effect. So Lupa proceeds to add the '07-'10 Doctor Who theme song.

Lupa (as Victim #2): Oh no! I'm being sucked into a better shoooow!

"It's official. This movie rocks."

  • Her mocking one character's acting in The Howling IV.

Lupa: Richard robot, activate!

  • THA eagles *DRAMATIC STING!*
  • Sleepy Hollow High: "Zoinks, Scoob, it's the frog monster!"
    • "Did he just fall into nighttime?"
    • "Holy shit, that's the precher from Stakes! ...You know, some people get to review multiple movies from great actors such as Robin Williams or Fred Savage even. I get the guy from Stakes."
  • My Boyfriend's Back: "You'll notice most of the people in this movie are living cartoon characters. Because that equals comedy, right?"
    • "Hey there, Philip Seymour Hoffman! You can dry your tears over being in this movie with your Oscar."
    • The Wacky Meter.
    • "I feel some... comedy music coming up!"
    • "I guess this is kinda like that... but stupid..."
  • From Pocket Ninjas:
    • "I am now five minutes closer to death"
    • "Ron Hall? What's he doing here, looking for Slovak?"
  • From Fatal Deviation:
    • "Why is there a wizard?"

Lupa: I'll take the time now to apologize for my Irish accent. I'll also apologize to Diamanda Hagan for good measure. Oh wait, I don't have to! She's dead! Hahaha - oh...

    • "I'm gonna give you a moment to try and guess what the next scene will be about. (Beat) You're not gonna get it. Jimmy goes to a carnival."
  • From her review of Rapid Fire:

Lupa: Hey everyone. Welcome back to Obscurus Lupa Presents. I'm not feeling so great this week, don't ask me why...
Flashback to Lupa wearing a suitcoat and glasses
Lupa: Hey everyone, welcome to "Lupa Tries". Today, we're gonna be drinking Windex!

    • As well as being adorable, the outtake with Ash the cat.
    • "Not just any running - slo-mo shirtless running!" [[[Baywatch]] music]
  • The training montage during the 'Lady Dragon 2 review. Especially Jeremiah as "RICHARD NORTON". This is done with a piece of paper with the words RICHARD NORTON written on it and taped to his shirt. The look of utter disinterest on his face tops it off.
  • The cameos in the Birdemic review:

Oancitizen: That was a good movie, An Inconvenient Truth.
Nash: [smiling] What a day! The sun is bright and shining, I just won the lottery, and there is nothing bad happening in Florida. All is right with the world. [killed by a kamikaze bird]
Todd: I'll save you, Lupa!

  • From her joint review of The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes with the Cinema Snob:

Cinema Snob: Uhhh, this is gonna be one of those kinda movies, isn't it.
Lupa: *Grins wildly at him*

    • "Sherlock himself is played by Ben Syder, an actor's man, an everyman, a man you should recognize from his stunning role on nothing, nothing at all, because he has had no other roles."
    • From the same, when Holmes and Watson face the gas trap.

Lupa:"..and then Holmes and Watson are attacked by a giant fart."
Snob (disgusted): "A fart joke? What are you, five?"
Lupa: *giggles* "Yes."

    • After revealing that Watson is played by Ianto Jones, they cut to Ianto crying whenever Watson "takes it well".

Lupa: [as Watson is writing] Dear...Mister...Davies, I would...very much...like...my...job...back.

    • The Snob trying to use the credits from The Geek to get out of the review.
    • The entire scene where they see the main villain in a costume resembling Iron Man
      • "Next thing they'll be fighting Iron Man "shows robot" I WAS FUCKING JOKING!"
      • "Let's find out who the carnival ghost really is."
    • Lupa's shocked reactions to the reveal... the second one being spotted by the Snob who wonders what the hell is going on.
    • "Next thing you'll tell me he throws a dragon at them-" *Shows dragon* "OH COME ON!"
    • "I'd never thought i'd ever say this but the climax of the film involves Holmes in a hot air ballon fighting Iron Man in a giant robot dragon while Watson rides on horseback to stop an android from blowing up Buckingham Palace. I can't even make a joke about that!"
    • "How exactly do you plan to frame him for your giant robot dragon?"
    • "Just how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle imagined Sherlock Homes, busting a cap in someones ass. Surely Sherlock takes no shit."
  • She's wearing an eyepatch and talking in a gruff voice for the entire Nick Fury review.
    • Linkara's cameo.

Linkara: Um...what's with the eyepatch?
Lupa: What eyepatch?

  • several seconds of silence*
    • "Butt Monkey! Ahoy!"
    • "You are too late!" "The scenery, it has already been chewed!"
    • "We need to go deeper." *vooooom*
  • From her review of Cursed (2005 film):
    • "[Jesse Eisenberg's] character is Jimmy, and if you know anything about Jesse Eisenberg, you know that Jimmy is Jesse Eisenberg."
    • "And now a little something for the ladies... (cue nekkid Jesse Eisenberg) NAKEDNESS IS FRIGHTENING!
    • UNDERREACTING: THE MOVIE!
    • (about the Scott Baio interview subplot:)

"You might be wondering right now what this has to do with the werewolf movie. (beat.) So Joanie mentions Ellie's boyfriend..."

    • Her use of the She-Wolf of London theme during the werewolf attacks in the room-of-mirrors scene.
    • When Jesse Eisenberg begins climbing the walls (just like a real werewolf):
      • "Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can..."
        • Made even funnier by the fact that Eisenberg's costar from The Social Network - Andrew Garfield - Is Reboot!Spiderman.
    • "Are you okay?"
  • From the Gooby review:

Iron Liz: I know what this is. This is the last known footage of the kid, isn't it?
Lupa: Aw, snap! This is going into Slender Man territory!

    • Iron Liz comparing Gooby to Pedobear.
    • Lupa and Liz passing the curse to... someone else.
  • Her disgusted shooing away of the 'Pointless Raping Scene Time', in The Black Ninja.
    • Her reaction to the "I gotta find a Ninja bathroom" line:

Lupa "Why you do this?"

    • "No! No! Movie directed by 'Me'?! How far are we into this?!"
    • "This song's gonna make me."
    • Todd composing the theme song.
  • American Ninja 2: Lupa using a picture of Film Brain when talking about "our British overlords".
  • From American Ninja 3:
    • "Okay. It's an American Ninja movie, so there are going to be montages. But that doesn't mean they have to be good ones." Cue fight scenes set to "Kiss the Girl", "Toxic", "Blue on Blue" by Bobby Vinton, Backstreet Boys, "How I Beat Shaq" by Aaron Carter, and finally, long fart noises.
  • American Ninja 4: Lupa getting increasingly desperate to make the "action" more exciting via montages, eventually finishing with a Heroic BSOD when the rescue of one of the characters involves...a smoke bomb.
    • And once the movie's over, Lupa has another Heroic BSOD where the Smallville finale overreaction ("AMERICA!!!") plays in her head.
    • Her reaction to realizing that Michael Dudekoff (the star) hasn't had any action scenes at the 30-minute mark.

Lupa: "Everybody betrayed me, I'm fed up with this world."

  • American Ninja 5: Lupa's unstoppable hatred for Hiro.

Lupa: "I will murder this child!"

  • While Lupa's livestream isn't as well-known as Lord Kat's or Jew Wario's, it has still given us a number of comedic gems:
    • Lupa's "impressions" of her TGWTG coworkers, all of which consist of her saying, "Hi, I'm [insert name], and I [insert job]!" in the same high-pitched voice.
      • She once demonstrated her "Spoony voice" for the man himself on LordKat's livestream chat:

Lupa: [high-pitched voice] Hiiiiii, I'm Spoony, and I play video games! Mah spoon is too big!

Spoony: {{[[[Beat Panel]] cough}}] Wow, Lupa. It's uncanny.

    • On one occasion, Lupa's cat was sitting next to her computer, listening intently to the chat. The cat began meowing loudly...prompting another Skyper's feline to do the same. So, Lupa held the microphone up to her cat and let the two animals "talk".

Person in chat: I'm awake at 4 AM listening to cats meowing on a Livestream. Yup, my life is headed in the right direction.

  • Her cameo in dascottjr's literal video for Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box".

Blonde Girl: I put a tree baby in this guy's IV! Ha ha ha! Isn't that funny?
Kurt, Dave, Krist: No.

  • The Nostalgia Chick and Lupa reviewing Honor and Glory. After Lupa decides she needs someone classier to share the film with, we see the Chick lying in bed wearing a stylish evening gown, drinking wine and reading a book...and then the pillow behind her slowly lifts up to reveal Lupa with the goofiest grin you have ever seen her wearing.
    • Chick attempts to analyze the deeper elements of the movie. Lupa just farts at her.
      • The commentary reveals that, despite playing the serious, deeper character who can't just let go and have fun, it was Lindsay who made all the fart gags.
    • Nella's reaction to a Cynthia Rothrock movie.

Nella: I'm going to go make celebratory cookies!

      • Which later turn out to be cheetos.
      • During the fight, Obscurus Lupa takes Nella hostage... only to clearly feel guilty about it and have a friendly chat with Nella, to the Chick's irritation.
      • Chick also doing the Home Alone face when Nella gets grabbed.
    • The characters in the movie have a green bean fight. Thus we cut to the Chick fantasizing about her and Todd doing the same, but with cheetos.
    • Todd suddenly appearing, as he is wont to do when Lupa is around, and descends into Gibberish of Love. When Lupa lays into him for persisting, the Chick cracks her knuckles and a fights Lupa in defense of "her man". While they're both wearing Twilight shirts
      • Said Cat Fight is a Call Back to Undefeatable. Including the opening, with the Chick licking a knife.

Chick: It's Nutella, bitch!

      • Todd decides to ignore the two women fighting over him to take up Nella's offer of cookies.
    • Paw Dugan / Elisa saying "CAMEO!" in The Stinger.
    • From the bloopers: Lindsay has her arms wrapped around Todd's head so that nobody can see his face, and sings "I am the mask you wear".
    • From the commentary: Lindsay saying that the first thing anyone tells her when they meet in real life is how short she is.
    • The fact that everyone seemed to be hiding in Chick's bedroom without her knowledge. Meaning that she was unaware that Lupa, Nella, Todd, Paw, and possibly Elisa were all in the room with her without her noticing.
  • Using the Jeopardy Theme to illustrate how long it takes Leatherface to kill someone in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.
    • "Dialogue hurts!"
      • "No more dialogue for you movie!"
  • From My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade: "That's it! I've made a royal decision--" "--we'll kill and eat Spike, it's a delightful plan!"
    • Reviewing it in her Snow White dress.
    • "Four of these ponies are dead. I won't tell you which ones."
    • During a meaningless argument over a float collision, she plays "Duel of the Fates".
  • From Fright Night Part 2: "Charlie uses bookcase, but it's super ineffective!"
    • In the obligatory 80's movie dance sequence, Regine moves her arms in a bird-like manner. Naturally, Lupa couldn't resist making chicken sounds.
  • Her affectionate pisstaking dub of the Suburban Knights trailer.
  • During her review of "City Dragon", her using MC Kung Fu's face as a Censor Box.
  • From her review of The Fly II, referring to Eric Stoltz: How sad, he went from almost being Marty McFly to being...Marty McFly.
  • From The Howling III: The Marsupials, Lupa pointing out Donny's stalkerish-actions towards Jerboa.

Lupa: Ah yes, the first reaction you have is to chase her down like you're going murder her.

  • Later on*

Director(?): [...] For example, in your first scene you'll be gang-raped by four monsters.
Lupa: *Impersonating him* -Yes, and all of them are played by Donny. Funny, he really wanted that part.

  • From The Howling V, her summarizing a seven minutes of the film:
  • Overlapping* "Pip-pip, cheerio, we're in a castle, I'm mildly interested in things, Oh I say!"
  • In The Howling VI review: *Pointing out a boom mic* OH HAI
  • Allison's Halloween Candy Spooktacular:
    • Her cat, who was previously "killed" by a werewolf, jumping on things in the background. "Suddenly, alive again! Aaah, continuity!"
      • And then it starts meowing. "I know he's excited! You want some candy? Yeah? Mm, candy's good for cats, I heard."
    • Total jaded, bored reaction to the noisy candy dispensers that go off every time there's movement. Which don't turn off. She bought them a twenty-minute drive away. "Twenty minutes."
    • Mixing together all of the novelty Kool-Aide things into "sewer green".
    • Complaining that the booger candies do not taste like real boogers.
  • In the end of The Howling VII review, her reaction upon learning that there is one more sequel left to review
    • Also pretty much her reaction to Pappi throughout the review counts.
    • Zombie group dancing. Country version of thriller. That is all.
    • "A bullshit on both your houses!"
  • In the Desire review:
    • "A perfume-based serial killer? Sounds like some shitty art house film!"
    • "Oh man, major boner killer!"
    • The main character lacks common sense, Lupa responds with, "YOU IDIOT!"
    • Any time she says "bro".
  • The Bloody Mary Killer review:
    • "In what universe is this music appropriate for a rape scene?!"
    • "Apparently one of his thugs recognises Robin, and ... falls in love with him?"
  • In the Ben and Arthur review:
    • During the shootout at the end, Lupa plays "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap every time someone fires, parodying the Saturday Night Live skit "Dear Sister".
    • Dubbing epic music during the tedious argument between Arthur and Mildred
    • "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... the horrors of heterosexuality."
    • Her reaction to the "holy water recipe"

Lupa:I have now become dumber from watching this.

  • The Hidden 2. Calling the good and evil aliens "sparklefarts" and "squiddlydoos", respectively.
  • Her We Wish You A Turtle Christmas review. All of it!
    • But especially Phelous in a cheap tinfoil Shredder costume singing "I'll be home for Christmas"
  • Christmas Eve on Sesame Street.
    • Reading the title out loud and frowning, then throwing her arms up. Yay!
    • It would've been hard for her to see it in 1978, since she was -11 years old then.
    • The Cookie Monster as a horrifying addict and being referred to as a "fuck-up".
    • Referring to a human character as "Gordon's third regeneration".
    • "In addition to Big Bird's chronic depression, is this special gonna be nothing but the Muppets trying to kill each other?"
    • When talking about the Bert and Ernie subplot: "So these two losers realized they both got each other a gift for the thing they traded in. Forever together, but forever alone."
    • The gift being from "Fuck Face".
    • When Big Bird is trying to figure out how Santa can fit down a chimney with all those presents. "Clearly the only way Santa can get down that chimney is in pieces".
  • From Magic Island: "My name is Lupa! You may call me 'human.' It is what the cats call me!
  • The Blooper Reel for Lupa and Oancitizen's "Hamlet the Vampire Slayer" reveals that Lupa is a CMOF incarnate in real life, as Kyle has serious trouble keeping a straight face. He's Corpsing nonstop, and a couple times she points out that he was in film school, yeah right.

Kyle (trying to contain the laughter): Just... just let me hear the line.
Lupa: It's funny because its poop!
Kyle: Again.
Lupa: It's funny because its poop!
Kyle: Again.
Lupa: It's funny because its poop!
Kyle: Again!
Lupa: It's funny because its poop!
Kyle: Again!

Cat: MIKE MATEI DID IT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRST!!!

    • From the same review, "That was really plan A? You just immediately jump to the trained vampire solution?"
  • Her and Phelous' crossover review of Julie and Jack- particularly all the Birdemic references.
    • The 'wedding video' of Checkers and Ash.
    • "But who would want to date you?" [silly faces] "Get it?"
    • Lupa and Phelous' bad dancing to the song "Spiritual Love".
    • "Stand back! This painting has painting-flu virus!"
    • The Stock Footage clouds intro suddenly turning into the Stock Footage shot of the Golden Gate Bridge from The Room.
  • In Subspecies 3, "So anyone who wanted to see William Shatner's daughter naked, you're welcome." [beat] "I just killed a *lot* of boners there, didn't I?"
    • Pretty much anything she says as Radu is gold, especially "boobs".
      • And DAMMEET!
      • Her portrayal of Radu as an awkward Man Child who just wants to get laid is hilarious.
    • "I think [this scene] pretty much sums up this series. There's Mummy Radu laughing her ass off at things that aren't even remotely funny, Michelle screaming and crying, and Radu standing there with the most ridiculous face he could think up at the time."
    • Her reaction to complaints about the "titty bars": Censor bars EVERYWHERE!
    • The Flying Radu!
  • The Top Ten Hottest Animated Dogs. Let that sink in.
  • In much the same satirical vein as the above, her review of Star Wars: A New Hope, a film so terrible that it "fell into rightful obscurity". Though she does praise its few good points, like the budding romance between Luke and Leia, and how Greedo shoots first.
  • Lupa has brought back Radu to review other movies. And it is hilarious.
  • Her ecstatic reaction to the frog band from Return to Frogtown
  • Heidi 4 Paws, which includes her reinterpreting the Grandfather as plotting Heidi's demise. And racism against pomeranians.
    • "Anyway, this is Peter the goat-herder who is in charge of the- *sees the 'goats'* dear God no."
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