Only When I Lose Myself

"Only When I Lose Myself" is a song by English electronic music band Depeche Mode. It was made exclusively for their 1998 compilation The Singles 86>98 and released as a single on 7 September 1998. It is the first non-album studio single since "It's Called a Heart" in 1985, and is also one of the rare singles to have two limited editions ("L12/LCD Bong" and "XL12/XLCD Bong" - the others being "Enjoy the Silence" and "In Your Room").

"Only When I Lose Myself"
Single by Depeche Mode
from the album The Singles 86>98
B-side	"Surrender" "Headstar" Remixes
Released	7 September 1998
Recorded	1997–1998
Genre	Trip hop[1]
Length	4:41 (album version) 4:34 (single version) 3:52 (radio edit)
Label	Mute
Songwriter(s)	Martin Gore
Producer(s)	Tim Simenon
Depeche Mode singles chronology
"Useless" (1997) "Only When I Lose Myself" (1998) "Dream On" (2001)

Release

There are two B-sides -- "Surrender" was the first exclusive vocal B-side since "My Joy" in 1993 from the "Walking in My Shoes" single, and the other is an instrumental titled "Headstar". A rare remix of "Painkiller" from 1997 was re-released as a B-side on some versions. The release also includes a new remix of World in My Eyes.

The music video for "Only When I Lose Myself" was directed by Brian Griffin, who had previously worked with Depeche Mode as a photographer, and did the cover art for Depeche Mode's first five albums. The soundtrack to the video is a unique version of the song, fading out at the last chorus and omitting the instrumental outro (like the radio version), but including the instrumental intro (which is missing from the radio version).

Track listings

• All songs written by Martin L. Gore

12": Mute / 12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00) (remixed by Danny Briottet)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)

12": Mute / L12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)

CD: Mute / CDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself" (4:35)
2. "Surrender" (6:19)
3. "Headstar" (4:23)

CD: Mute / LCDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:47)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)

CD: Mute / XLCDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Short Play Mix)" (5:06)
5. "World in My Eyes (Safar Mix)" (8:30)

CD: Mute / CDBong29X (EU)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself" (4:35)
2. "Surrender" (6:19)
3. "Headstar" (4:23)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
5. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
6. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
7. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
8. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
9. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
10. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Short Play Mix)" (5:06)
11. "World in My Eyes (Safar Mix)" (8:30)

• This CD is the 2004 re-release

Promo 12": Mute / P12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
3. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
4. "Headstar (Single Version)" (4:23)

Promo 12": Mute / PL12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
2. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
3. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)

Radio Promo CD: Mute / RCDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Radio Edit)" (3:53)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Single Version)" (4:35)

2x12": Reprise / 44562-0 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
4. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
5. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
6. "Headstar" (4:23)
7. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
8. "Surrender" (6:19)

CD: Reprise / 44546-2 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Headstar" (4:23)
3. "Surrender" (6:19)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
5. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)

• Released 15 September 1998

CD: Reprise / 44562-2 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Short Play Mix)" (5:06)
5. "World in My Eyes (Safar Mix)" (8:30)

• Released 13 October 1998

Promo 2x12": Reprise / PRO-A-9362 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
4. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
5. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
6. "Headstar" (4:23)
7. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
8. "Surrender" (6:19)

Promo CD: Reprise / PRO-CD-9362 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Radio Edit)" (3:53)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself" (4:34)

Charts

Weekly charts Chart (1998) Peak position Australia (ARIA)[2] 34 Austria (Ö3 Austria Top 40)[3] 10 Belgium (Ultratip Flanders)[4] 17 Belgium (Ultratop 50 Wallonia)[5] 37 Canada Rock/Alternative (RPM)[6] 7 Denmark (Tracklisten)[7] 1 Europe (European Hot 100 Singles)[8] 11 Finland (Suomen virallinen lista)[9] 4 France (SNEP)[10] 29 Germany (Official German Charts)[11] 2 Hungary (Single Top 40)[12] 1 Ireland (IRMA)[13] 28 Italy (Musica e dischi)[14] 15 Netherlands (Single Top 100)[15] 89 Norway (VG-lista)[16] 14 Scotland (Official Charts Company)[17] 20 Spain (AFYVE)[7] 1 Sweden (Sverigetopplistan)[18] 4 Switzerland (Schweizer Hitparade)[19] 16 UK Singles (Official Charts Company)[20] 17 UK Indie (Official Charts Company)[21] 4 US Billboard Hot 100[22] 61 US Alternative Airplay (Billboard)[23] 36

Year-end charts Chart (1998) Position Germany (Official German Charts)[24] 77 Sweden (Sverigetopplistan)[25] 94

External links

• Single information from the official Depeche Mode web site
• Allmusic review
• Lyrics of this song at MetroLyrics

References

1. Lemieux, Kelly (26 November 1998). "In a Depeche Mode". Westword. Retrieved 26 January 2020.
2. "Australian-charts.com – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself". ARIA Top 50 Singles.
3. "Austriancharts.at – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself" (in German). Ö3 Austria Top 40.
4. "Ultratop.be – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself" (in Dutch). Ultratip.
5. "Ultratop.be – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself" (in French). Ultratop 50.
6. "Top RPM Rock/Alternative Tracks: Issue 703." RPM. Library and Archives Canada. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
7. "Top National Sellers" (PDF). Music & Media. Vol. 15 no. 40. 3 October 1998. p. 15. OCLC 29800226. Retrieved 11 January 2019 – via American Radio History.
8. "Eurochart Hot 100 Singles" (PDF). Music & Media. Vol. 15 no. 40. 3 October 1998. p. 13. OCLC 29800226. Retrieved 11 January 2019 – via American Radio History.
9. "Depeche Mode: Only When I Lose Myself" (in Finnish). Musiikkituottajat – IFPI Finland.
10. "Lescharts.com – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself" (in French). Les classement single.
11. "Offiziellecharts.de – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself". GfK Entertainment Charts.
12. "Top National Sellers" (PDF). Music & Media. Vol. 15 no. 39. 26 September 1998. p. 12. OCLC 29800226. Retrieved 3 February 2019 – via American Radio History.
13. "The Irish Charts – Search Results – Only When I Lose Myself". Irish Singles Chart. Retrieved 11 January 2019.
14. "Hits of the World – Italy" (PDF). Billboard. Vol. 110 no. 42. 17 October 1997. p. 62. Retrieved 4 June 2020.
15. "Dutchcharts.nl – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself" (in Dutch). Single Top 100.
16. "Norwegiancharts.com – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself". VG-lista.
17. "Official Scottish Singles Sales Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
18. "Swedishcharts.com – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself". Singles Top 100.
19. "Swisscharts.com – Depeche Mode – Only When I Lose Myself". Swiss Singles Chart.
20. "Official Singles Chart Top 100". Official Charts Company.
21. "Official Independent Singles Chart Top 50". Official Charts Company. Retrieved 7 November 2018.
22. "Depeche Mode Chart History (Hot 100)". Billboard.
23. "Depeche Mode Chart History (Alternative Airplay)". Billboard.
24. "Top 100 Single-Jahrescharts – 1998" (in German). Offizielle Deutsche Charts. Retrieved 18 April 2018.
25. "Årslista Singlar – År 1998" (in Swedish). Sverigetopplistan. Retrieved 14 May 2020.