Veronica Mars/Funny
- "A PONY?!?"
- How about Keith's poster: "She's 18, it's legal - Re-elect Don Lamb"? And the fact that he had them prepared ahead of time?
- Earlier in that episode, when Keith goes to Cliff's hotel room (his note to Veronica: "Gone on puzzling errand"), only to find Cliff handcuffed to the bed.
Keith: So, can I ask you a question?
Cliff: She said her name was Daphne.
Keith: Oh, no no. How did you call me?
Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring.
- Also, a particular stoner would like to inform you that he'd make a great bait! In fact, he'd be a "master bait"!
- "They're probably up there making love. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Or both. At the same time."
- "She's a hooker!"
- This little gem.
- Before the intro, Veronica in season one: "Yeah, we used to be friends. A long time ago." Cue: A LONG TIME AGO...WE USED TO BE FRIENDS.
- "Annoy tiny blonde one! Annoy like the WIND!"
- Dick in the first episode of season two:
Dick (blurts out across the bus): Miss Dumbass!
Miss Dumas: It's Du-mas...
- Veronica goes to Sheriff Lamb accusing Thumper of murder.
Lamb: But he's got such a cute nickname!
- From "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough:"
Dick: Am I drunk?
Logan: No, dude, you're just special.
- Veronica's EPIC BURN of Kendall Casablancas in "Look Who's Stalking".
Kendall: Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.
Veronica: Like, trouble? With a capital T, which rhymes with C, which stands for--
Keith: Veronica!
Veronica: I was gonna say cute.
- Logan gets a stab at Kendall too.
Kendall: Doesn't this mean anything to you?
Logan: It does. It means I'm getting laid. And I owe your village a goat.
- Logan introducing Kendall to Trina:
Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
- In "The Girl Next Door", Veronica is trying to track down her missing neighbor Sarah, and she thinks Sarah's friend Adam, who manages a clothing store, knows something. When he refuses to talk, Veronica calls Weevil, and he and the rest of the PCHers come to the store, generally making a mess of things. Then Veronica walks back in:
Veronica: Guys! Remember, no white after Labor Day!
PCHers: (in mock disappointment) Aw!
- Weevil finds Veronica in front of the trophy case. This isn't Getting Crap Past the Radar, this is "someone's dead at the switchboard."
Weevil: If you're lookin' for my trophy, it's back by auto shop.
Veronica: Lube job? Or...can you medal in stealing hubcaps?
Weevil: Is this 1970? Rims, baby.
Veronica: So you got a trophy for a rim job?
Weevil: Forget it. Look, I got some information for you.
Veronica: Finally, a Deep Throat to call my own.