Total Nonstop Action Wrestling/Funny

TNA = "Total Nonstop Amusement"?

---

• The absolute look of horror on Kurt Angle's face as he, stripped to his skivvies and sprawled on his behind on the entrance ramp, watched his (ex-)wife Karen and AJ Styles be pronounced man and wife was priceless.
• The Paparazzi Championship Series.
  • During the psychological exam portion, Senshi answers sees every inkblot as a "Warrior".

Kevin Nash: You're telling me that that looks like Jim Helwig to you??

• • This interesting bit of dialogue between Nash and Jay Lethal:

Kevin Nash: Tell me...have you ever administered a... lethal injection?
Jay Lethal: ...have you ever been to Fire Island?
Kevin Nash: Why, yes. I have a summer home there. Thanks for asking.

• • When Alex Shelley was shown an inkblot, he replied "My heart, after you broke it." and "Play Station 3"
• At TNA Hard Justice 2006, the arena had to be evacuated mid-show due to a fire. Desperate to fill time until the Orlando Fire Department gave the all-clear and allowed the TNA wrestlers, staff, and fans back into the arena, Mike Tenay interviewed "The Alpha Male" Monty Brown. The result? The Best. Promo. Ever.

Monty Brown: Hey Joe^[1]? Why you runnin' 'round with that...cheeseburger in yo' hand?!

• • It wasn't just Monty's promo that made this night hilarious. The show's opening pyro display had literally set the ceiling on fire. The fans had all kinds of fun with this, chanting "You can't see us!" as a giant cloud of extinguisher enveloped the ring during the opening match (which Eric Young and Johnny Devine worked to a finish), and later "No more pyro!" when everyone was back inside and Abyss (who always had pyro back then) came out for his match.
    • The best part was when the Impact Zone started chanting "THE ROOF...THE ROOF...THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!"
    • Seen here.
• Chet Lemon, Black Snow, and ring announcer Scott Steiner. This originated from an episode of Impact in January of '09, where the Main Event Mafia took over the show for around an hour. Kevin Nash (Lemon) and Booker T (Snow, doing what sounded like a hilariously awful Don West impression) proceeded to take the piss out of almost everything during an otherwise-mediocre show. Smarks were very displeased when Mike Tenay and Don West returned to the announce booth.
• Taylor Wilde vs. Velvet Sky - the quickest wrestling match in history.
• The Impact episode where Angle emerges from a tanning bed, only to find his clothes gone.

Angle: "Is it one of those freaks who want to sell my underwear, on EBay!?"

• After turning Jay Lethal into "Black Machismo", Kevin Nash tries to do the same thing with Sonjay Dutt by having him try on his old "Oz" and "Vinnie Vegas" costumes. When he shows up wearing the oversized "Diesel" outfit, Lethal comments (in his Macho Man voice): "Now you can step over the top rope!"
• Last Call with Scott Hall. REALLY not safe for work, what with the not entirely sober Hall and Waltman ripping on various people and harassing any woman in the vicinity.
  • Watching Larry Zybysco in the latest vids just burying himself deeper and deeper (calling AJ Styles a "faggot", constantly ripping on Ric Flair) is like watching a trainwreck, but Scott's running commentary on Zybysco ("I'm so sorry, he thinks he's funny", "that makes him a bastard - sorry kids, that's the word for it") makes up for it.
  • Kevin Nash in the Wolfpac dressing room, a week before he turned heel onscreen: "Uh, I'm still very angry at you guys."
  • And later, in a discussing spanning illegal drug use, wacky drug trips at the Canadian border and fake tanning:

Scott: It was like, a week later. We couldn't get into Canada-
Kevin: ... cause we all had gun charges.
Kevin: And we had something like fourteen Somas, and no scrips.

Scott: So what does any responsible person do, kids?

Kevin: We ate 'em.

Waltman: What, like, seven each?"

Scott: We can't throw them out the window! That would be littering!

Kevin: (demonstrating how his hands were shaking) And I'm all - 'Scott? Do I look fucked up?'
Scott: And I'm like YES!

• • • • Pretty much any time you get Nash, Hall, and Waltman together, it's comedy gold.
• During Kurt Angle and Sting's feud, there was a part where Sting's music plays and he's lowered from the ceiling. In a moment of Dangerously Genre Savvy, Kurt spears the figure in midair and puts it in the Ankle Lock, before he realizes that it's just a dummy.
• This incredible limited-time offer from the Motor City Machine Guns! Dammit, if only I had known about it in 2009, then I wouldn't have wasted that extra $2000 I had on boring shit like food and bills.
  • Don't forget their PSA on Beer Money.
• The Pope is a very funny dude, but this moment comes more from his reaction. D'Angelo Dinero has an opening that consists of him pausing, looking at the sky, and having money rain down from above onto him, but ever since Immortal took over TNA and the Pope opposed them, they stopped paying for the (fake) money rain and the Pope's continued hopeful wait for the rain and his exasperated head shake as it never happens is hilarious.
• The look on Jeff Hardy's face when he saw AJ and Fortune do their hand sign in front of him and then proceed to take out all of his allies, leading him alone. His dumbstruck expression can only be described by two words: Oh Crap.
• Mr. Anderson (Anderson)'s thoughts on the new TNA championship belt, designed by and for Jeff Hardy (it looks like his face, with similar strangely colored makeup patterns, and comes on a purple strap):

Mr. Anderson: I could probably stick a crayon up my ass, squat over a piece of paper, and draw a better title belt than this.

• • Anderson is a walking Crowning Moment of Funny, one of the reasons he's cheered so strongly is he's able to make nearly anything absolutely hilarious.
• TNA's section on the Wall Banger wrestling moments. Just remember those moments. Samoa Joe getting kidnapped by ninjas, Abyss becoming a Hulk Hogan Lantern, him creating a hole in the mat by chokeslamming AJ Styles, Fourtune having six guys, Abyss branding a fan backstage after trying to murder RVD, Hogan admitting to Dixie's face that he stole the company, etc, etc, etc.
• Taz on Feb 17th 2011 calling himself a Segway machine.
• The crowd at the Impact Zone gets a lot of crap for dumb chants, chanting for anything and seemingly trying to get themselves over. Whether fair or not it's subjective but what's not is their chant towards Chris Harris, ex-tag team partner of Beer Money member James Storm, being incredibly funny. "Knock knock? Who's there? Braden Walker!" ^[2].
  • Heard here. Gotta give James Storm credit for keeping a straight face.
• May 19, 2011: Velvet Sky shoves Karen Jarrett in a wheelchair down the entrance ramp, where Jeff tries and fails to catch her.
• June 2, 2011: AJ Styles cuts off Bully Ray's rant by saying Ray has a tiny penis. Ray has a Villainous Breakdown ordering the audience to stop laughing at him and making fun of his penis.
• June 16, 2011: Eric Young assaults a backstage interviewer and pins him to "defend" his TV Title, with the interviewer waking up and asking what just happened. And Scott Steiner's Hot-Blooded mockery of Bully Ray.
• Christopher Daniels hams it up while giving an art tour.
• Eric Young finally cages the beast.
• The stipulation for the Mickie James/Gail Kim match at Genesis 2012? Madison Rayne has to be suspended above the ring in a shark cage.
• One of many amusing segments between Scott Steiner and Bully Ray.
• Sarita has a habit of salsa dancing during her matches. During one Xplosion match against Angelina Love she kept doing it so much that Taz started singing along to her moves. Oh and the whole "Mui Caliente" thing gets honorable mention as well.

---

Back to Total Nonstop Action Wrestling

1. ↑ Samoa Joe, that is
2. ↑ Braden Walker was the name Chris Harris used during is very, VERY, short stint in the revived ECW