Team Fortress 2/Haiku

Identical teams
Of funny mercenaries
Battle to the death

The Scout
Small and annoying
This Boston brat runs quickly

—Someone shut him up

The Soldier
Square jawed and crew-cut
No grip on reality

—Bona-fide batshit

The Pyro
Mumbling though gas mask
Asbestos-clad enigma

—Sets people on fire

The Demoman
Black Scottish Cyclops
Makes people explode a lot

—Chugs scrumpy--KA-BEEEEWM

The Heavy
Giant Russian man
Says your whole team is babies

—Talks to food and guns

The Engineer
Quiet Texas guy
Builds stuff to aid defenses

—Answer? Use more gun

The Medic
Call for the doctor
He may come heal you, or not

—Hurting is more fun

The Sniper
Lone-wolf Aussie bloke
Pops heads, calls others wankers

—Weird issues with pee

The Spy
Dastardly French spy
Seeks new people to backstab

—He's not on your side

The Administrator
Angry chain smoker
Yells at always-fighting clones

—Don't cross the lady

It doesn't matter
As to who wins or loses
Eternal stalemate

—Stealth

FOYIAH FOIYAH HELP!
YO! NEEDA DISPENSA HEA!
MEDIC! MEDIC! DOC!

—LNER fan

I just got ubered.
Now is a good time to run.
I AM BULLETPROOF!

—Rayne Cyro

An electronic chirp.
Explosion of viscera.
The Scottish laughs fall.

—Hyruleboy

Battle of two teams,
But who cares about the fight?
It's about the hats.

—The Albino Primid

Some guys with red clothes
Fight with some guys with blue clothes
And they all have hats.

—The Mike

Your teammates are dead
Heavy and Medic draw near
Swiftly comes your fate.

—Adam C