My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic/Quotes
Quotes from the Cast & Crew
"When I took the job, I braced myself for criticism, expecting many people -- without even watching the show -- to instantly label it girly, stupid, cheap, for babies or an evil corporate commercial. I encourage skeptics like this to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic with an open mind. If I'm doing my job right, I think you’ll be surprised."
"Roddenberry warned me that I had no idea what I was getting into with Star Trek. Someone should have warned me about My Little Pony! Egads!"
"I love bronies, and you guys are changing the way I look at adult males who view cartoons... Maybe, like, feminine-ish cartoons."
"Lyra, Heartstrings, or Incidental Unicorn #2.... When I first started working on the show, I never expected people to latch on to the background ponies like they have. It's nice to see."
"I'm constantly surprised by how many men love MLP, (even marines!) and it proves something I've always believed: that innocence is [in]finite. It's not something that can ever go away despite what a person does or has done.
P.S. Derpy is the pinnacle of the top of the peak for me!"
Quotes From the Show
Season 1
Friendship is Magic, part 1 (Mare in the Moon)
Twilight Sparkle: Take a note, please. To the Princess.
Spike: Okie dokie.
Twilight Sparkle: My dearest teacher. My continuing studies of pony magic have led me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster...
Spike: Hold on. Preci...preci...
Twilight Sparkle: Threshold.
Spike: Thre...
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, brink?
[Spike stares blankly]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! That something really bad is about to happen!
Spike: [reading Princess Celestia's reply to Twilight] My dearest, most faithful student, Twilight,
You know that I value your diligence, and that I trust you completely...
Twilight Sparkle: [smugly] Mm-Hm.
Spike: ...But you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Applejack: This here's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apple, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp... [deep breath] Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, aaaand Granny Smith.—(introducing her family to Twilight)
Apple Bloom: Aren't you gonna stay for brunch?—(begging Twilight to stay for brunch when she's about to leave)
[Twilight finds Rainbow Dash "practicing" instead of doing her job]
Rainbow Dash: ...loop the loop around, and wham! What'd I say? Ten. Seconds. Flat.
Twilight Sparkle: Practicing for what?
Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts! They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show 'em my stuff.
Twilight Sparkle: The Wonderbolts?
Rainbow Dash: Yep.
Twilight Sparkle: The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?
Rainbow Dash: That's them.
Twilight Sparkle: Pfft. Please. They'd never accept a pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day.
Rainbow Dash: Hey! I could clear the sky in ten seconds flat!
Twilight Sparkle: (challenging) Prove it.
[Ten seconds later]—(cut to Twilight Sparkle and Spike with jaws dropped)
(In the dark)
Twilight Sparkle: "I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of CRAZY ponies trying to make friends all the time! Now where's the light?"
*click*
Ponies: "SURPRISE!"
Pinkie Pie: You see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all, 'Hello,' and I was all, [GASP], remember? You see, I never saw you before, and if I never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville, and if you're new, it means you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, and I had an idea, and that's why I went [GASP], I'll just throw a great big, ginormous, super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville. See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!—(Explaining her reaction to first meeting Twilight.)
Twilight Sparkle: All the ponies in this town are CRAZY!—(her first impression of Ponyville)
Nightmare Moon: Am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, more guessing games! Um, Hokey Smokes? How 'bout...Queen Meanie? No, Black Snooty! Black Snooty! Mmph!
[Applejack shoves a cupcake in Pinkie's mouth]
Friendship is Magic, part 2 (Elements of Harmony)
[The mane cast go to the Everfree Forest to look for the Elements of Harmony]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! Let's go!
Twilight Sparkle: Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own.
Applejack: No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple.
Pinkie Pie: Especially if there's candy apples in there! What? Those things are good!
[Rarity lops off her tail and successfully grafts it onto 'Steven Magnet']
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Rarity, your beautiful tail!
Rarity: [unconvincingly] Oh...it's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back.
Rainbow Dash: So would the mustache...
Pinkie Pie: Oh, girls, don't you see? ♫ When I was a little filly, and the sun was going doooooown... ♫
Twilight Sparkle: Tell me she's not--
Pinkie Pie: ♫ The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frooooown... ♫
Rarity: ...She is.
Nightmare Moon: You're kidding. You're kidding, right?—(as Twilight prepares a desperate charge)
Princess Luna: I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!
Princess Celestia: [smiling] I missed you too.—(Luna and Celestia's reunion after the former is reverted from Nightmare Moon back to normal)
The Ticket Master
[Twilight's Gala tickets land on Pinkie's face]
Pinkie Pie: AAAAH! Bats! Bats on my face! HEEEELP!!
Pinkie Pie: ...and then I said, "Oatmeal? Are you CRAZ"--oh.—(After Twilight yells 'Quiet!' and everyone shuts up with Pinkie still talking.)
Twilight Sparkle: Ah, Spike, what am I gonna do? All five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the Gala. Applejack, or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie, or Fluttershy? Rarity? Oh, who should go with me?
Waiter: Have you made your decision?
Twilight Sparkle: I CAN'T DECIDE!!!
Spike: Twilight, he just wants to take your order.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
Fluttershy: Well hello, Twilight. I hope you don't mind, but we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you.
Twilight Sparkle: It's summer.
Fluttershy: Oh...well, better late than never, right? It was Angel's idea.
Twilight Sparkle: You're not doing this for the ticket, are you?
Fluttershy: Oh, no. I'm doing this because you're my very best friend. Right, Angel?
(*Angel glares*)
Fluttershy: Oh. Yes, we are just doing this for the ticket.
(the other ponies have rescinded their requests for Twilight's extra ticket)
Rainbow Dash: YES! That means the ticket is mine! Hahaha, ♪I got the ti-cket, I got the ti-cket!♪
[Applejack and Fluttershy glare; Twilight and Spike stare in disbelief]
Rainbow Dash: You know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for the Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either.
Applebuck Season
Applejack: This is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalest of friends and the most dependable of ponies?
Big Macintosh: But still only one pony. And one pony plus hundreds of apple trees just doesn't add up to-
Applejack: Don't you use your fancy mathematics to muddy the issue!
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, can we talk?
Applejack: [ears ringing] Can bees squawk? I don't think so!
Twilight Sparkle: AJ, I think you're beating a dead...tree.—(trying to help an exhausted Applejack, who doesn't notice that she is kicking a dead apple tree)
Twilight Sparkle: Your applebucking hasn't just caused you problems. It's over-propelled pegasus, practically poisoned plenty of ponies, and terrorized bushels of brand-new bouncing baby bunnies!—(to Applejack)
Griffon the Brush Off
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you are so random!
[said playfully]
Pinkie Pie: Maybe Twilight is right. Maybe Gilda isn't a big mean grumpy mean meanie-pants. Maybe I'm just a big jealous judgmental jealous jealousy-pants.
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda. Your auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of.
Fluttershy: I'm a year older than you.—(Pinkie Pie trying to comfort Fluttershy during Gilda's party)
Gilda: Hey, I'm watching you like a hawk.
Pinkie Pie: Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon?
Boast Busters
Trixie: Well, well, well. It seems we have some neigh-sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?—(her response to her magical abilities being questioned)
Rarity: Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair?! I know she did something terrible to my hair!!
Twilight Sparkle: ...Nothing!
Rainbow Dash: It's fine!
Applejack: It's gorgeous!
Spike: ...It's green.
Twilight Sparkle: I think I hear my laundry calling.
Spike: Okay. Imagine me with a nice long Fu Manchu-type beard. Or maybe a goatee...—(explaining what he should change to impress Rarity)
Dragonshy
[Fluttershy confesses that she's scared of dragons]
Twilight Sparkle: But, Fluttershy, you have a wonderful talent dealing with all kinds of animals.
Fluttershy: Yes, because they're not dragons.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on! We've seen you walk up to a horrible manticore like it was nothing.
Fluttershy: Yes, because he wasn't a dragon.
Pinkie Pie: Spike is a dragon. You're not scared of him.
Fluttershy: Yes, because he's not a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale-having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could-eat-a-pony-in-one-bite, totally all-grown-up dragon!
Applejack: All of us are scared of that dragon.
Rainbow Dash: I'm not!
Applejack: Almost all of us are scared of that dragon.
Rainbow Dash: All right, that's it! We've tried persuasion, charm, whatever it is Pinkie Pie does--
Pinkie Pie: (*blows raspberry with ruined party favor*)
Fluttershy: How dare you? HOW DARE YOU?!—(about to give the angry dragon a piece of her mind)
Dragon: But that rainbow one kicked me!
[Rainbow Dash nods proudly]—(explaining his actions to Fluttershy)
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you scared me! I mean...uh...you...broke my concentration.—(realizing she was scared out of her wits by Pinkie, not the dragon, roaring)
Fluttershy: It's okay, Rainbow Dash. Not everypony can be as brave as me.
[a leaf lands on Fluttershy's back]
Fluttershy: [scream]
Look Before You Sleep
Rarity: You know, there's messy, and then there's just plain rude.
Applejack: You know, there's fussy, and there's just plain gettin' on my nerves.
Applejack: I'd like to tell y'all the terrifying tale of the Prissy Ghost, who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness! OooooOOwwoOOO! I'm sure y'all are familiar with that one?
Rarity: Never heard of it. But I have a much better one... It's the horrifying story of the Messy Inconsiderate Ghost, who irritated everypony within a hundred miles! OoooooOOOwwwwOOOoo...
Applejack: That's not a real story. You made it up!
Rarity: It is a ghost story. They're all made up.
Applejack: Can't hear you, I'm asleep. (fakes snoring noises.)—(trying to ignore Rarity when she's told to get out of the bed.)
(Twilight's response to a tree falling in her house and covering her furniture.)
Twilight Sparkle: Does this count as camping?
(playing "Twenty Questions")
Applejack: Is it...a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shootin' stars comin' out of his eyes?
Rarity: Who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic sparkly eggs?
Twilight Sparkle: That's it!
Applejack/Rarity: It is?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Bridle Gossip
[Applejack brings up where Zecora lives]
Applejack: The Everfree Forest just ain't natural! The plants grow...
Fluttershy: Animals care for themselves...
Rainbow Dash: And the clouds move...
All three: ...All on their own!
Pinkie Pie: Well, I heard that Zecora eats hay.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I eat hay! You eat hay!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, but I heard it's the evil way she eats hay...
Zecora: Beware! Beware, you pony folk!
Those leaves of blue are not a joke!
Spike: AAAHAHAHAHAHAA!! This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spittie Pie, Apple-tini, Flutterguy, and...
[looks at Twilight] Uh...eh...I got nothin'.
{{[[[Breaking the Fourth Wall]] to audience}}] Twilight Sparkle - I mean seriously, I can't even work with that...
[Pinkie looks in Rarity's overgrown coat and mane for "Apple-tini"]
Rarity: Oh! OH! Pinkie, what are you doing? Ah, really. Aah! You ever hear of personal space?
Pinkie Pie: (*not finding anything*) Nopth!
[The girls decide to hunt down Zecora]
"Flutterguy": Spike? Are you coming?
Spike: Nope. Uhh...gotta stay here and look for a cure. [once he's alone] *gasp* Twilight Flopple!
Applejack: Oh, pony feathers!—(after being left, in shrunken form, on a tree branch by Apple Bloom)
Applejack: Giddyup, pony!
Rainbow Dash: Ex-cuse me?—(shrunken Applejack is trying to get a ride to Zecora's)
[The girls confront Zecora]
"Hairity": You made me look ridiculous.
"Flutterguy": You made me sound ridiculous.
"Spitty Pie": Pfe pfuh pfuh pfeak puh-pluh-pli-plus!
Swarm of the Century
Pinkie Pie: Now I've gotta go find a trombone!
Pinkie Pie: (to Rarity) You've got a real problem all right! And a banjo is the only answer!—(trying to warn Rarity about the parasprites and how to get rid of them)
Twilight Sparkle: The princess could arrive at any moment.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly! That's why I need you gals to drop what you're doing and help me find some maracas!
Twilight Sparkle: Maracas? Pinkie, we've got much bigger problems than missing maracas!
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] You're right! Getting a tuba has to be our number-one goal! Follow me! I said, follow me!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you are so random!
[said with annoyance]
Zecora: Tales of crops and harvests consumed.
If these creatures are in Ponyville...you’re doomed.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them.
Twilight Sparkle Good! Everyone else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right over there! We've got less than a minute!
Rainbow Dash: [screaming while being chased by parasprites] YAAAAAAHHHHH!!—(Twilight's "plan" to deal with the parasprite infestation before Princess Celestia arrives)
Twilight Sparkle: You're a great friend. Eeeeven if we don't always understand you.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks, guys. You're all great friends, too. Even when I don't understand me.
Winter Wrap Up
Spike: [seeing the bird's nest Twilight made] That nest needs to be condemned.
Rarity: Oh, Spike! It's not so bad. Uh...Maybe the birds can use it as a...
Spike: An outhouse?
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, you did a great job your first time around. I'm sure my first time was just as wobbly and bobbly and crash-eriffic as yours!
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Pinkie Pie: ...no.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm a Winter Mess-Up.
Spike: Well, you’re good at a lot of things—just not nest-making, ice skating, animal waking, snow clearing...
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks a lot for making me feel sooo much better.
Call of the Cutie
Apple Bloom: YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT! We take cash or credit.—(Apple Bloom attempts to increase her sales figures)
Apple Bloom: There’s a cute-ceañera this afternoon and everypony in my class’ll be there and they’ll all have their cutie marks and I wanna get my cutie mark but I’m no good at sellin’ apples but I really wanna go to the party but how can I go to the party if I don’t have my cutie mark which my big sister says I’m gonna get eventually but...I WANT IT NOOOWWW!
Rainbow Dash: Ultra Pony Roller Derby! Go!
Apple Bloom: How could I have forgotten the time? How could I have forgotten Pinkie Pie was hostin' the party? How could I have forgotten it was at Sugarcube Corner?!
Pinkie Pie: Don't forget your party hat, Forgetty Forgetterson!—(plants party hat on Apple Bloom's head)
Sweetie Belle: She could be a great scientist, or an amazing artist, or a famous writer. She could even be Mayor of Ponyville someday.
Scootaloo: And she's not stuck being stuck-up like you two.
Fall Weather Friends
Spike: You know, Pinkie, these two ponies have a bit of a grudge match they're trying to settle, trying to prove who's the most athletic.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, no thanks. I had a big breakfast.
Pinkie Pie: Yes! And "grudge" rhymes with "fudge"!
Spike: Yes, it... does? What?
Pinkie Pie: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much fudge, I get a pudge and then I can't budge.
[Beat]
Spike: So... no fudge?—(co-announcing the Running of the Leaves)
Spike: Looks like Rainbow's doing her best to catch up!
Spike: Uh...I like pickles?
Pinkie Pie: I'm not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest. Now in a hot dog eating contest, it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally I prefer mustard. How about you, Spike?—(co-announcing the Running of the Leaves)
Twilight Sparkle: Forgive me, girls. I know I'm not an athlete, but shouldn't the Running of the Leaves actually involve running?
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Rainbow. Shouldn't you be up ahead?
Rainbow Dash: Heh heh heh. I'm sure I'll win now.
Twilight Sparkle: Except that the other racers just passed you.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, horse apples! See you!
Rainbow Dash: What the hay?! You said no flying!
Applejack: No, I said no wings!
Pinkie Pie: I must say, Spike, that this has been the most interesting Running of the Leaves in Equestria history!
Spike: With the most interesting announcing.
Suited For Success
Rarity: (showing Fluttershy the Gala dress she made for her) What do you think?
Fluttershy: I...love it.
Rarity: Oh, you're just saying that.
Fluttershy: No, no, I do. It's...nice.
Rarity: Nice.
Fluttershy: Nice.
Rarity: If you don't like it, you should just tell me.
Fluttershy: Oh, but I do like it.
Rarity: Like it or love it?
Fluttershy: Um...both?
Rarity: Which is it?
Fluttershy: Please stop asking me this, I...
Rarity: Well, just tell me what you really think.
Fluttershy: Oh, no, that's okay.
Rarity: Tell me!
Fluttershy: No, i-it's fine.
Rarity: Tell me!
Fluttershy: I-I like it.
Rarity: Tell me, tell me, tellmetellmetellme!
Fluttershy: All right, since you really want to know, [deep breath] the armscye's tight, the middy collar doesn't go with the shawl lapel, the hems are clearly machine-stitched, the pleats are uneven, the fabric looks like toile, you used a backstitch here when it clearly called for a topstitch or maybe a traditional blanket stitch, and the over-design is reminiscent of prêt-à-porter and not true French haute couture.
Rarity: [gasp]
Fluttershy: But, uh, you know, um...whatever you want to do is fine.
Rainbow Dash: The shape's fine. Just make the whole thing, you know, cooler. [pause] It needs to be about 20% cooler.—(critiquing her Gala dress)
Twilight Sparkle: You're not a laughingstock, Rarity.
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] She kind of is!—(Twilight trying to comfort Rarity after her fashion show disaster)
Rarity: Leave me alone! I vant to be alone! I want to wallow in...whatever it is that ponies are supposed to wallow in! Do ponies wallow in pity? Oh, listen to me! I don't even know what I'm supposed to wallow in! I'm so PATHETIC!
Twilight Sparkle: Now what do we do?
Fluttershy: Uh, panic?
Rainbow Dash: That's your answer for everything!
Applejack: Well, we can't just leave Rarity like this!
Pinkie Pie: She'll become a Crazy Cat Lady!
Twilight Sparkle: She only has one cat.
Pinkie Pie: Give her time...
Feeling Pinkie Keen
Twilight Sparkle: I'm doing scientific research. I'm observing Pinkie Pie, scientific name: Pinkius Piecus, in its natural habitat.
Spike: What's she doing now?
Twilight Sparkle: Smelling a flower.
Spike: Holy guacamole! I wonder what that means?
Twilight Sparkle: Probably that the flower smells good.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Applejack. Whatchya doin'?
Applejack: Takin' more apples to my new apple cellar. How 'bout you Pinkie? What you doin'?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, letting Twilight secretly follow me all day without me knowing.
Twilight Sparkle: You mean you knew all along?! Why didn't you tell me?
Pinkie Pie: (giggles) Silly, that would've spoiled the secret.
Pinkie Pie: What if she exploded? And then...and then exploded again?!
Spike: Can you do that? Can you explode twice?
Sonic Rainboom
Rainbow Dash: So now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one!
Fluttershy: Too loud?
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh...You're gonna cheer for me like that? Louder.
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: Louder!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: LOUDERRRR!!!!
Fluttershy: (takes huge breath and rears up) Yaaay.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh...(falls over)—(Rainbow Dash trying to teach Fluttershy how to cheer.)
[Rainbow Dash crash-lands in Twilight's library after a botched Sonic Rainboom]
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, you rock. Woo-hoo. [gasp] Did my cheering do that?
Fluttershy: But, Rainbow Dash, just because you've failed the Sonic Rainboom a hundred thousand times in practice doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in front of an entire stadium full of impatient, super-critical sports-fan ponies.
Rainbow Dash: AAAAAHHH! What do I do? Everypony's gonna see me fail! The Wonderbolts will never let a loser like me join! Princess Celestia will probably banish me to the Everfree Forest! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!
Rarity: Look upon me, Equestria, for I...am...Rarity!—(letting her temporary wings go to her head)
[Rainbow Dash meets her idols, the Wonderbolts]
Rainbow Dash: *gasp* OhmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohMYGOSH!
Stare Master
Sweetie Belle: Um, that doesn't look like a table.
Apple Bloom: Somepony needs to put this thing out of its misery.
Scootaloo: We were making a table?—(The Cutie Mark Crusaders trying to fix Fluttershy's table after they accidentally broke it.)
Sweetie Belle: Come on, guys. We're not gonna find the chicken or our cutie marks by arguing.
Apple Bloom: Maybe that's our special talent! Arguing!
Scootaloo: Is not!
Apple Bloom: Is too!
Scootaloo: Is not!
Apple Bloom: Is too! Anything yet?
Scootaloo:...Nope.
Apple Bloom: Darn!
The Show Stoppers
(Applejack introduces the Crusaders to her dilapidated old clubhouse)
Applejack: It just needs a little, uh, TLC.
Scootaloo: TLC as in "Tender Loving Care" or "Totally Lost Cause"?
A Dog and Pony Show
Spike: Rarity, woods, jewels, dogs, hole, taken, SAVE HER!!
Applejack: Ho-ho there, loverboy!—(her response to Spike's accidental Almost Kiss with her during his fantasy of saving Rarity from the Diamond Dogs)
Spot: Good gracious, I can't take this anymore! BE QUIET, PONY!!
Rarity: And that's another thing. I would appreciate if you stopped calling me "pony". I am a lady, and I wish to be addressed as such. So you may call me "Miss", or Rarity, or Miss Rarity.—(Rarity demanding respect from the Diamond Dogs when they order her around.)
Rarity: I am not whining, I am complaining! Do you want to hear whining? (in higher-pitched voice) This is whining! Ooh, this harness is too tight! It's going to chafe! Can't you loosen it? Ooh, it hurts and it's so rusty! Why didn't you clean it first? It's going to leave a stain. The wagon's getting heavy! Why do I have to pull it?!?
Spike: [while riding Twilight Sparkle] I'm coming for you, my lady! Hi ho, Twilight! Away!
Twilight Sparkle: *groans* Fine.
Twilight Sparkle: And just what do you think you're doing?
Spike: Please, Twilight. Just give me this?—(during Spike's attempt to save Rarity from the Diamond Dogs)
Green Isn't Your Color
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! You promised Spike you wouldn't say anything. He trusts you. And losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever!
Twilight Sparkle: But--
Pinkie Pie: Forrrreeeeverrrr!
Photo Finish: Nervous? Don’t be ridiculous. You’re only facing a large crowd of ponies who will be watching your every move and silently judging you.
Photo Finish: Frottershy! I have been looking for you everywhere. We have the thing at the place!
Rarity: Rrrrrgh...I'm the one who should be mobbed by strangers wherever I go!
Fluttershy: Oh, I can't believe this. I am so frustrated, I could just scream!
[She inhales deeply]
SQUEEEEEEEEEAK.
Twilight Sparkle: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-- (poke) AARGH!
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so frustrated, I could just kick something!
[lightly kicks the vase behind her, barely making it rock]
Twilight Sparkle: SPIKE HAS A CRUSH ON RARITY! (covers mouth)
Pinkie Pie: (appears from a mirror ) *sigh* And you were doing so well.
Over a Barrel
Rainbow Dash: When we get to Appleoosa, you think we'll have to carry that heavy tree all the way from the train to the orchard?
Pinkie Pie: What tree? You mean Bloomberg?
Rainbow Dash: [sarcasm] No. Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy's not a tree, silly.
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash thinks Fluttershy's a tree.
Rainbow Dash: I do not think she's a tree, I was just...
Twilight Sparkle: Did you say she was a tree?
Rainbow Dash: No...well, yes...but...not exactly...
Twilight Sparkle: You know she's not a tree, right?
Pinkie Pie: She's not a tree, Dashie.
Fluttershy: I'd like to be a tree.
Pinkie Pie: Are you loco in the coco?
A Bird in the Hoof
Rarity: Nobody move, and my dress won't get hurt! Stay back! Back, I say!—(trying to leave Princess Celestia's brunch party without damaging her dress)
(Twilight pretends to cough to cover up Philemena's noise)
Twilight Sparkle: (to guards) It's that dry night air.
Fluttershy: But it's daytime.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, day air's even drier!
Twilight Sparkle: You have no idea what the Princess is gonna do if she finds you're the one who took her pet, do you?!
Fluttershy: Do you?
Twilight Sparkle: Well...no. But it can't be anything good. She might banish you from Equestria! Or throw you in a dungeon! Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!
The Cutie Mark Chronicles
Fluttershy: You'd never guess, but when I was little I was very shy.
[young Rarity's horn drags her to a rock]
Rarity: A rock?! That's my destiny? What is your problem, horn? I followed you all the way out here for a ROCK!? Gah...DUMB ROCK!
Scootaloo: Why don't we ever smash into Rainbow Dash?
Pinkie Pie: You're looking for Rainbow Dash? If I was her, I'd be at Sugarcube Corner! Of course, if I was anyone, I'd be at Sugarcube Corner. Hey! I have an idea! Want to go to Sugarcube Corner?
Pinkie Pie: And that's how Equestria was made!
Sweetie Belle: Oh, come on. She's just being Pinkie Pie.
Scootaloo: Wha...huh?
Apple Bloom: Look, we're here!
Pinkie Pie: Maybe on the way home I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark. It's a gem!—(After Pinkie tells the Cutie Mark Crusaders how she got her cutie mark. Yes, it makes no sense.)
Owl's Well That Ends Well
Fluttershy: Maybe Spike feels threatened, or worried that Owlowscious will replace him?
Twilight Sparkle: Replace him? Hah! That's crazy. Spike knows he can't be replaced.
[cut to Spike inside Twilight's library]
Spike: They're trying to replace me!
[Spike is looking for a quill for Twilight]
Spike: But the store is called "Quills and Sofas"! You only sell two things!
Store Owner: Sorry, Junior. All out of quills until Monday. Need a sofa?
[Spike asking Pinkie Pie for a quill for Twilight]
Pinkie Pie: I swore I had one here somewhere. Ah, here it is! A quince!
Spike: Not a quince, a quill!
Pinkie Pie: Right. A quail...a quilt...a quesadilla? Aha! A quiche!
Spike: Not a quiche, a quill!
Pinkie Pie: Nope. Sorry. All outta quills.
Spike: Aw, shoot. [starts eating quiche]
Spike: Have you ever seen a dragon sneeze?—(explaining how one of Twilight's books got incinerated)
Party of One
Pinkie Pie's invitation song:
This is your singing telegram, I hope it finds you well,
You're invited to a party, 'cos we think you're really swell,
Gummy's turning one year old, so have a celebrate,
The cake will be delicious, the festivities first-rate,
There will be games and dancing, bob for apples, cut a rug,
And when the party's over we'll gather round for a group hug,
No need to bring a gift, being there will be enough,
Birthdays mean having fun with friends, not getting lots of stuff,
It won't be the same without you, so we hope that you say yes,
So please, oh please RSVP and come and be our guest!
[repeated line]
"This afternoon? As in 'this afternoon' this afternoon?"
Pinkie Pie: There’s a bear around here who lives in a house?
Fluttershy: It’s, uh, really more of a cave.
Rainbow Dash: But he’s fixed up the place so much it feels like a house.
Fluttershy: And, uh, he wants us to look after his house… uh, cave… while he’s, uh…
Rainbow Dash: ...at the beach!
Pinkie Pie: He’s vacationing at the beach?
Rainbow Dash: Yep, he loves to--
Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash: Collect sea shells!/Play volleyball!...Play volleyball!/Collect sea shells!...Collect volleyball!/Play sea shells!
Rainbow Dash: Gotta go!
Pinkie Pie: Okey...dokey...lokey.
[starts to leave, before quickly dashing up to Applejack with a Death Glare]—(her reaction to Applejack's excuse of why Pinkie can't enter the barn)
Pinkie Pie: I want you to confess!
Spike: “Lookin’ good, Spike! Lookin’ real good!”
Spike: Confess?
Pinkie Pie: Confess!
Spike: I’m the one who spilled juice all over Twilight’s copy of Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions!
Pinkie Pie: And?
Spike: And I’m the one who used up all the hot water in Ponyville yesterday when I took a seven-hour bubble bath!
Pinkie Pie: And?
Spike: And sometimes, when no one’s around… I do this.
(Spike pulls a full-length mirror and begins flexing in front of it)—(Pinkie Pie gives a look that says "I didn't really need to know that...")
Rainbow Dash: I'm just glad I haven't been replaced by a bucket of turnips.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: You don't wanna know.
The Best Night Ever
Spike: Come on, you guys. Let me in!
Rarity: [groans and opens the door to let Spike in] I'm sorry, Spike. Some of us do have standards.
Rainbow Dash: Sure thing, Spike.
Rarity: Heavens, no! We're getting dressed!
Applejack: Dressed? Uh, beg pardon, Rarity, but, uh, we don't normally wear clothes.—(Spike trying to see his friends before they all go to the Grand Galloping Gala.)
[Rainbow Dash is invited to hang out with her idols, the Wonderbolts]
Rainbow Dash: I'm...hanging...with the...Wonderbolts! (*SQUEE*)
Pinkie Pie: The shiny dance floor...the pretty party ponies...ooh, the fancy band. Shiny!...Pretty!...Fancy! (*SQUEE*) GOTTA DANCE!
Fluttershy: Oh, Fluttershy. You're such a loudmouth.—(After scaring off a bird, for the first of many times that evening)
Fluttershy: I'll catch you yet, my pretties. Oh yes. As soon as one of you little birds or monkeys or bears touches this net, you'll be mine! MINE! (maniacal laughter)
[Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia return to the Grand Galloping Gala to see Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity in a mess of broken columns and cake, and one smashed statue]
Princess Celestia: (to Twilight) Run.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, it can't get any worse.
[cue the stampede of animals into the atrium with Fluttershy right behind]
Fluttershy: You're...going to LOVE ME!—(Fluttershy reaches the breaking point after the creatures in Princess Celestia's garden keep running from her)
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Rarity, your glass slipper! Now your prince is sure to find you!
Rarity: AAAAHHH! *stomps it*
Spike: Hey, Pony Joe. Another donut.
Pony Joe: Don't you think you've had enough?
Spike: Another donut! Extra sprinkles!
Season 2
The Return of Harmony Part 1
(after Cheerilee explains that a nearby statue represents victory)
Scootaloo: How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark!?
Apple Bloom: Cool...if you were actually victory-ful at something!
Sweetie Belle: That's not a word!
Scootaloo: What are you, a dictionary?
(after Cheerilee asks what the statue of Discord represents)
Apple Bloom: Confusion!
Sweetie Belle: Evil!
Scootaloo: Chaos!
Sweetie Belle: It's not chaos, you dodo!
Scootaloo: Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of! And it is too chaos!
Sweetie Belle: Is not!
Apple Bloom: You're both wrong!
(Cue the Big Ball of Violence after the Crusaders fail to agree on the meaning of Discord)
Rarity: I heard about your troubles, Applejack, and I came to see if there's anything I can do...without getting wet. Or dirty. Or out from under my umbrella.
(after Princess Celestia tasks the mane six to stop Discord)
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, you can count on--
Pinkie Pie: Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! CHOCOLATE RAIN!
Twilight Sparkle: (to Princess Celestia) Don't listen to her, Princess.
(after the mane six and Celestia discover the Elements of Harmony are missing)
Pinkie Pie: Oh, well. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw!
Celestia: That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break! This doesn’t make sense.
Discord: Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?
Celestia: Discord! Show yourself!
Discord: Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone!
(Fluttershy: *shoves Pinkie Pie into the maze wall*)
(Applejack: *laughs at Pinkie Pie*)
Pinkie Pie: And what are you laughin' at?!
Applejack: *shifty eyes* Chocolate milk.
Discord: Game's over, my little ponies! You didn't find your precious Elements. Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos.—(cue happy ending theme tune)
The Return of Harmony Part 2
Pinkie Pie: And what are you laughin' at?!
Discord: Oh, you ponies are just the most fun I've had in eons!
Pinkie Pie: Well, quit it! You better think before you laugh at the Pink! (*pause*) ...ie Pie!
Discord: (gesturing towards Ponyville) Picture it! The chaos capital of the world!
(the sun suddenly sets)
Twilight Sparkle: (flat) I can't picture anything. It's too dark.
Fluttershy: Hey, Twilight. What's soaking wet and clueless?
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I've had just about enough--
(Fluttershy dumps a bucket of water on Twilight's head)
Fluttershy: Your face!
(Fluttershy slams the bucket on Twilight's head)
Twilight Sparkle: (dazed) Where is she? Where's Rarity?
Twilight Sparkle: (angry) LIES!!
Applejack: (aloof) Beats me.—(Twilight tackles Applejack and Pinkie Pie, Big Ball of Violence ensues)
Twilight Sparkle: This is my book, and I'm going to READ IT!
Twilight Sparkle: (dejected) I never thought it would happen. My friends...
(pause)
Twilight Sparkle: (angry) ...have turned into complete jerks!
(She begins violently distributing the Elements of Harmony)
Twilight Sparkle: Necklace...necklace...necklace...necklace...and...big crown thingie! Come on, everypony, let's go!
Twilight Sparkle: We got the liar, the grump, the hoarder and the brute. That just about covers it!
Spike: What about Rainbow Dash?
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, Spike. You're the new Rainbow Dash. Now let's go!
Pinkie Pie: I hate the Elements of Harmony!
Fluttershy: Huh! Garbage. [throws her necklace on the floor]
Rarity: MINE!!
Twilight Sparkle: I've got to fight for my friendships. For them! For me! For Equestria!
(Spike moans weakly from burping too many letters from Princess Celestia)
Twilight Sparkle: Oh...uh...why don't you just stay here and rest. I'll take care of the whole "fighting for friendship" thing myself.
Fluttershy: (to Rainbow Dash) Um, I'm just wondering if it's okay if I hold you down against your will for a little bit?
(the girls pursue a still-hypnotized Rainbow Dash)
Fluttershy: (gasps) That big...dumb...MEANIE!
Twilight Sparkle: If you can't catch her, Discord wins!
Discord: Will you ever learn?
Twilight Sparkle: I'll tell you what we've learned, Discord. We've learned that friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for!
Lesson Zero
Twilight Sparkle: Now that we've completed the checklist of things we need to create a checklist, we can make my checklist of the things I have to get done by the end of the day. Ready?
Spike: Ready!
Twilight Sparkle: "Item one. Create checklist of the things I need to accomplish by the end of the day."
Spike: *sigh!*
Spike: Arrrgh...I've been holding that quill so long, I've got a claw cramp! Good thing we don't have anything to report to Princess Celestia this week. I don't think I could write another word!
Twilight Sparkle: We haven't sent a letter to Princess Celestia this week?
Spike: Why? Is that bad?
Twilight Sparkle: Bad? Bad? Of course it's bad! I'm supposed to send Princess Celestia a letter every week telling her a lesson I've learned about friendship! Not every other week! Not every ten days! EVERY! SINGLE! WEEK!
Twilight Sparkle: What if she makes me go back to Canterlot and puts me back in school and makes me prove I'm taking them seriously by giving me a test?! What if I don't pass?
Spike: But why wouldn't you pass—
Twilight Sparkle: She's my teacher. Do you know what teachers do to students who don't pass? They send them back a grade! But she won't just send me back a grade. She'll send me back to...Magic Kindergarten.
Twilight Sparkle: So...got any problems, troubles, conumdrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor that I as a good friend could help you solve? (*grin!*)
Spike: Huh. Hmm. Huunh. Huh...I got nothing.
[repeated line]
Rarity: Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!
[Rarity has freaked out over some missing ribbon]
Twilight Sparkle: Never fear, Rarity! As your friend I'll do my best to help you find--
Rarity: Oh, there it is.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow [Dash] must be angry with Applejack. She must hate her guts! Oh, wonderful!
[Twilight has just stormed off in a huff]
Rarity: Ugh! What a drama queen!
(everypony else stares at Rarity on her "fainting couch")
Rarity: ...relatively speaking.
Twilight Sparkle: If I can't find a friendship problem...I'll make a friendship problem!
Twilight Sparkle: HI GIRRLLS!
Twilight Sparkle: This is Smarty Pants. She was mine when I was your age. And now I want to give her to you!
Scootaloo: She's, uh... great...
Apple Bloom: Yeah... great.
Sweetie Belle: I really like her... mane?
Twilight Sparkle: She even comes with her own notebook and quill for when you want to pretend she's doing her homework!
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle!
Applejack: Whoa, Nelly.
Fluttershy: We learned that you should take your friends' worries seriously--
Rainbow Dash: --even if you don't think she has anything to worry about--
Rarity: --and that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem--
Pinkie Pie: --into an enormously huge, entire-town-in-total-chaos, Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem!
Luna Eclipsed
[Spike tries to guess Twilight's costume]
Spike: Are you that one kooky grandpa from the Ponyville Retirement Village?
Twilight Sparkle: Happy Nightmare Night, Granny Smith!
Granny Smith: I should have been asleep five hours ago!
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawk] Enough chit-chat! Time is candy!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, aren't you a little old for this?
Pinkie Pie: *gasp!* Too old for free candy? [chicken squawk] Never!
[Applejack tries to guess Twilight's costume]
Applejack: That beard...I reckon you're some sorta country music singer!
Princess Luna: [recognizing Twilight] IT WAS THOU WHO UNLEASHED THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY UPON US, AND TOOK AWAY OUR DARK POWERS!
Twilight Sparkle: And, that was a good thing ... right?
Princess Luna: But of course. We could not be happier. IS THAT NOT CLEAR?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you kind of sound like you're yelling at me.
Princess Luna: But this is the Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice. It is tradition to speak using the Royal We, AND TO USE THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADDRESSING OUR SUBJECTS!
Twilight Sparkle: I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception.
Princess Luna: CHANGE OUR APPROACH?
Twilight Sparkle: Lower the volume.
Princess Luna: Oh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Princess. Fluttershy can give you some great pointers. She's delicate and demure, with the sweetest little voice.
*knock* *knock* *knock*
Fluttershy: (through the door) GO AWAY! NO CANDY HERE! VISITORS NOT WELCOME ON NIGHTMARE NIGHT!
[Twilight forcefully introduces a terrified Fluttershy to Luna]
Fluttershy: Perfect! Lesson over!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy...you remember Princess Luna.
Princess Luna: CHARMED!
[Fluttershy retreats, but is pulled back by Twilight's magic]
Fluttershy: Likewise.
Princess Luna: TWILIGHT SPARKLE HAS SPOKEN OF THE SWEETNESS OF THY VOICE! WE ASK THOU TEACHETH US TO SPEAK AS THOU SPEAKEST!
Fluttershy: (terrified) Okay.
Princess Luna: SHALL OUR LESSONS BEGIN?
Fluttershy: (whispering) Okay.
Princess Luna: SHALL WE MIMIC THY VOICE?
Fluttershy: Okay.
Princess Luna: HOW IS THIS?—[Fluttershy flees back into her house just as Twilight closes the door, and she smacks into it]
Princess Luna: It is of no use, Twilight Sparkle. They have never liked us and they never shall.
Princess Luna: Your Princess enjoys this...fun! In what other ways may we experience it?
Princess Luna: Ha-ha! The fun has been doubled!
Pinkie Pie: Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! EVERYPONY RUUUNNN!!
Pipsqueak: HEEELLLP!! My backside has been gobbled!
Princess Luna: 'Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp!
Twilight Sparkle: It's time for me to do what I do best -- lecture her!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess?
Princess Luna: Leave me be, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out how we wanted. But you have to believe me when I tell you that Nightmare Night is one of the most popular celebrations we have.
Princess Luna: [sarcasm] Yes. I can tell by all the adoring shrieks of the children, as they run away.
Twilight Sparkle: She's not evil or scary any more! And she definitely doesn't want to gobble you up!
Pinkie Pie: Well, duh!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: I know that. Sheesh, Twilight, I'm almost as big as her. How's she gonna gobble me up?
Twilight Sparkle: See? They really do like you, Princess.
Princess Luna: Can it be true? OH, MOST WONDERFUL OF... I mean, oh, most wonderful of nights.
Sisterhooves Social
Rarity: (talking in her sleep) Oh...are those sweet...carrot...pancakes I smell? [gasp] Mmm, ah, divine, num num num num. The aroma...spiced warm apple cider. [sniff] Ahh...and the smell of...smoke...[wakes up] Smoke? Smoke?! SMOOOOO-
[fire siren in distance]
[smoke alarm]
Rarity's father: I'll have you know that Sweetie Belle here cooked this yummy-lookin' breakfast all on her own.
Rarity: I...figured. [sniffs] I didn't know you could burn juice. [smiles]
Rarity's mother: I've been giving her lessons. I wouldn't be surprised if she got her cutie mark in fancy cooking by the time we got back from our vacation.
[Sweetie Belle puts a bowl of bubbling dark liquid on the table]
Rarity: Uurh. Let me guess. Applesauce?
Sweetie Belle: Nope. Toast.
Apple Bloom: [mouth full of apple] What's uncouth?
Applejack: It means uncivil- you know, bad-mannered?
Apple Bloom: [belches]
Applejack: Exactly!
Rarity: As Celestia is my witness, I shall never be sister-less again!
Rarity: Applejack, why do you have to be so good and make me look so bad?
Applejack: Being sisters is like...apple pie. You can have amazin' apples, and you can have a wonderfully crispy crust, but only together can you have a perfect apple pie.
Rarity: But apart, all we are is just a pile of mush and some crumbly dry mess.
[Granny Smith announces the Sisterhooves Social]
Granny Smith: Is this thing on? [to Big Macintosh] I don't think this thing is on. [to the megaphone] Hello! What is the...eh...oh...[to Big Macintosh] you have to say so. [to the megaphone] Confangled modern doohickey! Now the event y'all been waiting for! The Sistersoci...The Socialhoof...Oh! Dabnabbit...you know, the big race! We have five teams this year for the event! So all y'all head on up to the finish line, hear? [to Big Macintosh] Eh? [to the megaphone] The start line! [to Big Macintosh] That's what I said!
Sweetie Belle: You did this for me?
Rarity: Us. I did it for us. You see? We are apple pie!
Sweetie Belle: Huh?
Rarity: Uh...I'll explain later. For now, I think we deserve a celebration.
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Sweetie Belle: Where?
Rarity: The spa, of course.
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: {{[[["Everybody Laughs" Ending]] laughing}}]
Sweetie Belle: Oh, Rarity!
Applejack: Aw, gee whiz.
Rarity: No, I-I-I'm serious.
The Cutie Pox
Apple Bloom: Why, I'm gonna be as old as Granny Smith and still have a blank flank!
Zecora: Your frustration is well understood / but one must be patient for all things good.
Apple Bloom: Ugh, I've heard that from everypony I know! And now from every zebra I know. I'm just too impatient to be patient.
Apple Bloom: What you got goin' on there?
Zecora: I am brewing up another mix, For a rooster and his chicks / Seems the rooster has lost its crow, making mornings very slow.
(Zecora brings out the Heart's Desire)
Apple Bloom: Hey, I've seen that flower blooming at Ponyville! What is it?
Zecora: It is one we call the Heart's Desire, A dash will ignite the rooster's fire / With Heart's Desire, his talent comes into view, And he will give a mighty "cock-a-doodle-doo!".
Twilight Sparkle: "Cutie pox. This puzzling pony plague afflicted a population of ponies back in the Paleo-Pony Period!"
Spike: Heh. Say that ten times fast!
(Twilight throws Spike off her back)
(Apple Bloom suddenly gets a Fleur de Lis cutie mark)
Apple Bloom: Sacrebleu! Plus de marques de cutie! [gasps] Qu'est-ce que c'est? Je parle français? [1]
Applejack: My sister's speakin' in fancy!
'Lily': She's cursed!
Rose: Hexed!
Daisy: Enchanted!
Spike: No, she's not.
Daisy, 'Lily' and Rose: *whew!*
Spike: She just has some weird mysterious disease with no known cure called cutie pox.
Everypony: CUTIE POX?! [scream]
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora! Apple Bloom has cutie pox! We were just on our way to see if you had a cure!
Applejack: But magically you're here! Was your zebra sense a-tinglin'?
Applejack: I sure am proud of you, sis. Seems like you finally learned the importance of patience.
Apple Bloom: Yep. All good things come to those who wait. (pause) Well! I've waited long enough.
Scootaloo: Actually, that was way too long.
Applejack: What?!
May the Best Pet Win!
Fluttershy: How about a bunny? They're cutesy and wutsey and quick as can be.
Rainbow Dash: Cutesy? Wutsey? Have you even met me?
Rainbow Dash: The bat would be awesome, but the wasp I'm digging too. Do you have something in a yellow-striped bat?
Rainbow Dash: (to the pet candidates) There's only room on Team Dash for one of you, and my future pet needs to be able to take it to the extreme. Any questions?
Applejack: (to Twilight) I got one. Does she understand what a pet really needs?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, like care and attention, love and affection--
(Winona licks Twilight's face)
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! And breath mints!
Rainbow Dash: All right! Now these games will determine which one of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for in a pet. Speed! Agility! Guts! Style! Coolness! Awesomeness! And radicalness!
Twilight Sparkle: Aren't those all the same thing?
Rainbow Dash: You would think that, Twilight. And that's why you would never qualify to be my pet. [pats Twilight]
Rainbow Dash: (to the bat) Whoa! That was truly awesome! But I'm afraid this is the radicalness competition, so I'm gonna have to take some points off.
Rainbow Dash: And so the final, tiebreaking contest is going to be...(to herself) Pause for dramatic effect. (beat, then to everyone) ...a race against me! (Jump Cut) Through Ghastly Gorge! Dun-dun-dunnnn!!
[The falcon caws.]
Rainbow Dash: Gesundheit. [offers tissue]
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Look!
Fluttershy: It's the turtle!
Applejack/Pinkie Pie/Rarity/Twilight Sparkle: Tortoise!
Fluttershy: Whatever.
Pinkie Pie: You got your perfect pet, right?
Fluttershy: The best of the best like you wanted, remember? It can fly and it's not a squirrel! Should we sing about it again?
Rainbow Dash: Today I learned what the most important quality really is. A certain kind of spirit. A stick-to-it-iveness. A never-give-up, can-do attitude that's the mark of a real winner! And this tortoise has it!
Twilight Sparkle: Tenacity!
Rainbow Dash: Gesundheit.
The Mysterious Mare Do Well
Twilight Sparkle: Call me silly, but this whole hero thing might be going to Rainbow Dash's head.
Pinkie Pie: You may be right... silly.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, it takes guts. But it also takes brains. And sometimes a big lunch and a nap.
(chasing a runaway wagon full of passengers)
Rainbow Dash: Never fear. Your friendly neighborhood Rainbow—
Bus Passenger: Excuse me! Uh, do you think you could skip your catchphrase and just hurry up and save us?!
Rainbow Dash: (frustrated) Buses and baby carriages are always coining down this hill. Where's an out-of-control vehicle when you need one? There are absolutely no freak natural disasters going on anywhere. How am I supposed to prove myself when everything's so normal and safe?
(after opening a jar of peanut butter)
Rainbow Dash: Would you say I was amazing?
Amethyst Star: Aren't you milking this a bit?
Rainbow Dash: Please, just answer the question. Was I or was I not amazing?
Amethyst Star: No, you're amazing, all right. An amazingly—
Rainbow Dash: Oh, look!! *flies off*
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. The only thing that should be rubbed in anypony's face is chocolate cake.
Applejack: I think we're gettin' off topic here.
Sweet and Elite
Rarity: And then I said, “Puh-lease. That isn't a hat, darling. That's a natural disaster that somehow landed atop your head!"
Rarity: (dictating a letter) "My dear Twilight, I am afraid I won't be able to make it to your birthday party tomorrow, because..." (sudden theatrics) "...because poor Opal is quite ill, and she is in no condition to make the long journey back to Ponyville."
Twilight Sparkle: When I got your letter saying you were stuck in Canterlot, I asked Pinkie Pie if it wouldn't be too much trouble to move my birthday party here, so you wouldn't have to miss it!
Pinkie Pie: Balloons are super-easy to pack!
Twilight Sparkle: (skeptical) Is that my dress?
Rarity: Yes.
Twilight Sparkle: It's so simple. So practical. So...(joyful) ...me! It's the perfect dress for my birthday party! I love it!
Rarity: ...where did you find the time to put up all these decorations?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I never leave home without my party cannon!
(Pinkie produces and fires a cannon, which instantly decorates a nearby table with streamers, confetti, and balloons)
Pinkie Pie: Ta-da!
Fancypants: (sniffs) I say, what is that scent you're wearing? It smells like...(sniffs) ...is that...cake frosting?
Rarity: Yes, I always dab a little frosting behind my ears before I go out. After all, who doesn't like the smell of cake frosting?
Fancypants: I know I do!
Rarity: I...have to go to...do the...thing with the stuff, you know, uh...
Rainbow Dash: Uh...what's with the croquet mallet?
Rarity: (muffled by croquet mallet in mouth) What croquet mallet?
Rainbow Dash: C'mon, you guys! Let's show them how to party, Ponyville-style!
Fancypants: (to Rarity) You know these ponies?
Rarity: Yes. Yes, I do know them. They may not be as sophisticated as some of you Canterlot ponies, but they are my best friends. And they are, without a doubt, the most important ponies I know.
Secret of My Excess
(Spike gets birthday presents from the other ponies)
Spike: Are those...for me?
Applejack: You bet they are, birthday boy.
Fluttershy: Happy birthday, Spike.
Rainbow Dash: Don't you know you get presents on your birthday?
Spike: Well, actually, this is my first birthday in Ponyville. I usually just get one present--from Twilight--a book.
(Twilight Sparkle enters, then stashes a gift-wrapped book behind her back)
Twilight: Hey, Spike! Check out this amazing broom!
Spike: SPIKE WANT!
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, help! Spike's running wild and I need you to lasso him!
Applejack: Oh, that's a good one, Twilight! Sweet little Spike, runnin' wild. What a laugh!
(Spike stomps past, carrying an armload of apples and leaves)
Applejack: Twilight, get my rope.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, stop giving him cake!
Pinkie Pie: I'm not giving him cake! I'm assaulting him with cake!
Pinkie Pie: How dare you take the cake!!
Rainbow Dash: Put her down right now!
Fluttershy: I-If you wouldn't mind, that is.
Rainbow Dash: I mean it, dragon boy!
Fluttershy: Uh, we'll be ever so grateful if you'd be so kind as to possibly consider...
Rainbow Dash: Drop her, scaly!
Rarity: This is a crime against fashion!
Baby Cakes
Applejack: Now how in thunderation is one of them twins a pegasus, and the other one a unicorn?
Mr. Cake: Easy. My great-great-great-great grandfather was a unicorn, and Cup Cake's great aunt's second cousin twice removed was a pegasus. That makes sense, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Hi! I finished up the work I had to do, so I thought I'd stop by and see if you needed any help. Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming! I can't begin to tell you what my day has been like, I mean, these babies just won't listen to reason - and don't even get me started on their taste in stand-up comedy!
Pinkie Pie: This is a crib. It is only to be used for napping, sleeping, and on occasion with permission, as a pretend old-timey Western fort.
Hearth's Warming Eve
Fluttershy: I'm so excited, I, I feel like shouting! [softly] Woo hoo!
Rarity: (wearing what is essentially a Christmas tree complete with ornaments and star at the top on her head) Oh, I do hope I look festive enough!
Chancellor Puddinghead: Well, if you non-Earths aren't gonna stop using your weirdo powers to freeze us all, then I'm just plumb out of ideas.
Commander Hurricance: What a shocker! An Earth Pony with no ideas!
Smart Cookie: Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door, Chancellor?
Chancellor Puddinghead: Maybe for you, Smart Cookie. But I am a chancellor. I was elected because I know how to think outside the box. Which means I can also think inside the chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?
Smart Cookie: I-
Chancellor Puddinghead: I didn't think so.
Chancellor Puddinghead: Oh my gosh! Hold on to your hooves! I am just about to be brilliant!!
Smart Cookie: That'd be a first.
Spike: And so the paradise that the ponies had found was soon lost, buried beneath a thick blanket of snow and hard feelings. Instead of beautiful, it was blizzardy! Instead of wonderful, it was wintery! Instead of spactactular, it was SNOW-tacular! Instead of...
Shoeshine: WE GET IT! MOVE ON!
Commander Hurricane: Earth Ponies are numbskulls!
Princess Platinum: Pegasi are brutes!
Chancellor Puddinghead: Unicorns are snobs!
Private Pansy: Well, I don't hate you...I actually hate Commander Hurricane a lot more than I hate you guys.
Smart Cookie/Clover the Clever: [giggling]
Private Pansy: Actually, I don't really hate her. I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike her.
The Last Roundup
Rainbow Dash: Now, careful, Derpy!
Derpy Hooves: I just don't know what went wrong.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. It's a mystery.
Pinkie Pie: NOPONY breaks a Pinkie promise!
Pinkie Pie: APPLEJACK! YOU PINKIE-PROMISED!!!
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Cherry Berry: I can't get this taste off my tongue!
Applejack: Dear Princess Celestia, I wanted to share my thoughts with you. *a-HEM* I didn't learn anythin'! Ha, I was right all along!
Read It and Weep
Rainbow Dash: You guys have gotta get me outta here! I'm gonna climb the walls!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, just like a spider! Did the crash somehow give her super-duper spider powers?
Doctor 'Stable': Nn-no, nor did it give her amazing healing powers...
Rainbow Dash: I'm a world-class athlete! Reading's for eggheads like you, Twilight. [...] It's undeniably, unquestionably uncool!
(later)
Twilight Sparkle: I think you'd like Daring. She's a lot like you - adventurous, fierce, and Ironic Echo undeniably, unquestionably unstoppable.
Rainbow Dash: I hate to admit it to myself, and would really hate to admit it to my friends, but...I love this story! I...I...I love reading! [[[Beat]]] I'm an egghead.
Rainbow Dash: I'm not trying to steal your slippers! I'm trying to steal this book!
Daring Do: Another day, another dungeon.
Hearts and Hooves Day
[At the gazebo. Music is playing on a record player.]
Cheerilee: Big Mac?
Big Macintosh: Ee-yup?
[They inch closer and closer together, as if about to kiss. Every inch is accompanied by the Cutie Mark Crusaders' mouths smiling wider and wider. Suddenly...]
Cheerilee: You have something stuck in your teeth.
[Record scratch; the music stops. Sweetie Belle pops out of the bush she's hiding in in the background.]
Sweetie Belle: OH, COME ON!
[Scootaloo pulls Sweetie Belle back into the bush. The music starts up again, off-key, as Big Macintosh makes use of a toothpick.]
Cheerilee: Well, this has been...strange.
Big Macintosh: [mildly bewildered] Ee-yup.
Sweetie Belle: If we can keep Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac from looking into each other's eyes for one full hour, the love curse will be broken!
Scootaloo: Only an hour? Hmph, we can pull that off in a second!
Cheerilee: Girls? Can you explain why I look like I'm getting married at the bottom of a pit?
Cheerilee: Since you three are doing all of his chores, Big Mac and I thought we'd have a picnic at the gazebo. Ready, sugar bear?
Big Macintosh: Ee-yup, punkin' pie.
CMCs: (GASP) (Beat) NOOOOOOOOO!!!
A Friend In Deed
Pinkie Pie: What just happened? Meet somepony new, check. Introduce myself, check. Sing random song outta nowhere, check. Become instant best friends! Un-check!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, silly me! I must have put the confetti in the oven and the cake in the confetti cannons - again!
Cranky: Listen to me, kid! I will never be your friend!
Pinkie Pie: Never, or never ever?
Cranky: NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!!
(door slams)
Pinkie Pie: That's four "ever"s. That's like...forever!
Twilight Sparkle: I know this is hard for you, Pinkie, seeing that you're friends with everypony. But you just have to accept that Cranky is gonna be an exception. He just doesn't want to be bothered.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, he doesn't want to be bothered by your over-the-top, super-hyper antics.
Putting Your Hoof Down
Iron Will: When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!
Rarity: What happened to Nice Fluttershy? We want that Fluttershy back.
Fluttershy: No! You want Wimp Fluttershy! You want Pushover Fluttershy. You want "do anything to her and she won't complain" Fluttershy!
Pinkie Pie: Nyaaaaah! Too many Fluttershies to keep track of!
Fluttershy: I can't believe that the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell New Fluttershy how to live her life, when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!
Pinkie Pie: We're not even sure Fluttershy is home right now. Uh, she might be off frolicking with some woodland creatures, uh...why don't you give us some time to track her down for you?
Iron Will: Iron Will does have some grocery shopping to do.
It's About Time
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!
Future Twilight: I have something extremely important to tell you about the future! And I've only got a few seconds, so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't-
Cerberus: ROAR!!!
Pinkie Pie: Okay everypony, follow my lead: AAAAHHHHHHHH!
Twilight Sparkle: That's Cerberus! He's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus! But if he's here, then all the ancient evil creatures that have been imprisoned there can escape and destroy Equestria!
Spike: Destroy Equestria?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah! Isn't it great?
Spike: So...no matter what happens, you're not gonna move a muscle, huh? Then maybe you won't mind if I... eat an entire tub of ice cream! (starts eating)
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, stop! Think of the stomachache!
Spike: Stomachache, huh? That's Future Spike's problem.
Twilight Sparkle: Ow! My eye!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Twilight. I have eyepatches stashed all over Ponyville, in case of eyepatch emergency.
Dragon Quest
Rarity: Goodbye, Spikey-wikey!
Rainbow Dash: Go get 'em, big guy!
Twilight Sparkle: We have faith in you!
Rarity: (whispering) We're following him, right?
Twilight Sparkle: (whispering) Of course.
Rarity: Fighting's not really my thing, I'm more into fashion...but I'll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head!
Hurricane Fluttershy
Steroid Pony: YEAH!!!
Cloudchaser: What exactly does this machine do?
Twilight Sparkle: This is an anemometer. It measures your accelerative velocity and translates it into wing power, thus gauging your cumulative H₂O anti-gravitational potential. Any other questions?
Flitter: Yeah. (to Spike) What exactly does this machine do?
Spike: It tells you how fast you're flying and how strong your wings are.
[squirrel chittering]
Spike: What did he say?
Twilight Sparkle: Do I look like I speak squirrel?[2]
Rainbow Dash: So you won't fly with 10.0 wing power. Every bit counts.
Fluttershy: How would you feel if everypony else was flying with 10.0 wing power and you were flying with 2.5?
Spike: Actually, it was only 2.3, and-- OW!
Quotes About the Show
"The new show is, well, sort of addictive. Even I watch it – out of the corner of my eye – while doing something manly like, uh, sculpting blocks of iron with my fists."
"Next up is Rarity, the pony of Generosity, which in the world of My Little Pony pretty much translates to constantly trying to stuff her friends into corsets, though admittedly she once cut off her tail so that a clinically depressed water dragon could use it to replace half of his moustache.
I may not have made this clear at the start, but this is kind of a weird show."
—Chris Sims
Anger & Hatred: Wtf is with all my guy friends talking about this show!? It's so gay, omg!!!
Acceptance: Fuck all of you haters, MLP:FiM is MANLY!!!!
Curiosity: Guess I better see what all the hype is about. I'll watch episode 1 and then complain about how gay it is to watch this show.
Confusion: Where the hell is episode 2!?
More Anger: How the fuck did I end up on episode 18!?!
Denial: It's okay, no one can ever know i watch MLP:FiM. I'm a 19 year old man, I will never speak of it!—From a random YouTube comment
This video is most popular with:
Male 18-24
Female 13-17
Male 13-17—YouTube stats for pretty much every single episode
"I say it once, I say it 1 million times. Most of what makes the show awesome is simply how the fans have reacted to it, with creativity and love."
"This is a pony! A baby horse girl toy! Why is it so awesome?!"
Who is the better pony: Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle?
Ask That Guy With the Glasses: Well, there's sort of a tragedy to Twilight Sparkle-- she spends all her time studying, but she just wants to be loved, which is a need that doesn't always get fulfilled by the other ponies. Sure, she has to look up how a slumber party works in a book, but she's trying! But then again, Rainbow Dash is pretty awesome, too. She knows how cool she is, and she's not afraid to show it. So it really depends on if you like the confident ponies or the insecure ponies. But of course, overconfidence is a sign of insecurity, isn't it? So all in all, Twilight Sparkle is the best pony in Equestria. (pause) I mean FUCK THAT SHIT I GOT BALLS. This is My Little Pony saying... JUST LET ME LIKE GIRLS' SHOWS!!!! (runs off singing) My little pony, my little pony, lalalala...—Ask That Guy With The Glasses, Episode 63
This is why I love this fandom!—Various people whenever they come across an epic piece of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Fan Work
There's a reason why it's so popular. Quality shows get viewers and fans. The size of the fanbase is not an attempt at trolling the world or whatever some people seem to think. It is not weirdos trying to be children. It IS normal people enjoying a show that's genuinely funny and cute. And, contrary to what some insecure men seem think, men are allowed to enjoy cute things. The community of FIM fans is enormous; you can't stop it. The harder you try, the bigger it gets. Pony on.—Nightweaver1, Youtube Commenter
What I truly love about MLP:FiM is the extent of the fanworks. I’ve seen some people say, "I watched a few episodes, but couldn’t get into it." If they only watch the actual show, though, they’re missing out.
Dave Glover, there are several members of the marines who are confirmed bronies. Are you calling a bunch of marines baby men?—firewallednonspeaker, Youtube Commenter in response to Dave Glover's insulting of the bronies.
I... actually kinda like this. Don't really care about what's going on, but it has decently timed gags, fluid motion, voice acting that doesn't make me cringe. I'm scared, /co/. Hold me.
- ↑ Roughly translated, this means: Good heavens! More cutie marks! (gasp) What the?! I'm speaking French?!
- ↑ Tara Strong, voice of Twilight, previously voiced Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls, who could talk to squirrels.