Hitch
No matter what, no matter when, no matter how -- any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.—Hitch
The 2005 romantic-comedy starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes. In New York, there are rumors of a man called "The Date Doctor" who gives advice to Unlucky Everydude on how to get the affections of a lady he admires. It turns out he really does exist--his name is Alex "Hitch" Hitchins (played by Will Smith). He gets hired by Albert Brennaman (Kevin James), who is a meek CPA in love with the beautiful and sweet heiress Allegra Cole (Amber Valleta). Meanwhile, Hitch bumps into Sara Melas (Eva Mendes): a rather cynical gossip columnist, and the two hit it off. Despite all of his expert advice and knowledge of women, all of their dates turn into crazy mishaps. Somewhere in there, they begin to fall for one another. The classic tale of Ladykiller in Love occurs.
A box office smash and warmly received by the general public.
- Adorkable: Although following the spirit of Hitch's advice, Albert mainly manages to woo Allegra by being himself...which involves bad dancing, teaching her to whistle, and dropping mustard on his shirt.
Hitch: So, wait...that stuff worked for you?
Allegra: It was adorable.
- Bad Date: Hitch goes on a jet ski date and accidentally kicks his date in the face, then accidentally forces her to confront the reality of her genocidal ancestor, and on another date has a bad reaction to food and gets drunk off of Benadryl.
- Of course, considering that Hitch having an allergic reaction and almost dying is portrayed more as a Bad Date for the woman he's dating, it should tell you how badly this movie suffers from the Double Standard.
- Benevolent Boss: Sara's. He was tough when he needed to be, but it turns out he cares about Sara and her relationship with Hitch as he notices they care about each other.
- Berserk Button: Hitch believes that his job is to help decent but awkward men find the love they deserve, so NOTHING gets him more FURIOUS than assholes who use his teachings to play with women's feelings, and he was more than willing to break a womanizing asshole's arm when he did just that. (Hitch calls them "Men who hate women")
- For Albert: "So how was she? Pretty good, huh?"
- Beta Couple: Albert and Allegra.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Hitch is an Aikido (Japanes Marital Art made famous by Steven Seagal) expert who can snap your arm in half if he wants to, as the sleaze who used his advice to break an innocent woman's heart found out the hard way.
- Black and Nerdy: From what we can tell, Hitch used to be this in college.
- Boyfriend Bluff: How Hitch and Sara meet.
- Camp Gay: Allegra's best friend and Hitch's doorman Raoul.
- The Casanova: Hitch is implied to be this at the beginning of the film.
- Catch Phrase: "Basic principles:"
- The Charmer: Hitch with every woman except Sara.
- Closed Door Rapport: Happens towards the end of the movie.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: Sara.
- Deadpan Snarker: The cashier at the convenience store.
Sara : Where's the Benadryl?
Cashier: In Aisle 2.
Sara: Where's Aisle 2?
Cashier: The one with the big '2' over it.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Sara's "payback" on Hitch on behalf of her jilted friend (who to be fair, is a bit of a moron), which would have been bad enough even Hitch had coached the scumbag that dumped her friend (Hitch explicitly refused to work the guy because he was a scumbag).
- Did I Just Say That Out Loud?: The woman at the speed dating activity. It was painful to watch.
- Everyone Loves Blondes: Beautiful and sweet heiress Allegra Cole.
- Eureka Moment: When Hitch realizes his services aren't actually as needed as he thought and that people will still fall in love without his help, which leads to...
- Food Slap: After Sara finds out who Hitch really is, they argue and one of them throws a small piece of food at the other. He ends up tossing a salad on her.
- Fridge Brilliance: Hitch actually does exactly what he early claimed he does for Albert. His pitch involves telling the men to be themselves ("If you're confident, be confident. If you're shy, be shy") and as he said to Allegra earlier in the scene, she never would have noticed Albert if it wasn't for him. This is only a shocking revelation to Hitch because, as he was called out earlier, he doesn't believe his own pitch.
- Groin Attack: Sara gives Vance Munson a well-deserved one.
- Hilarious Outtakes: And how. Seen here.
- The icing on the cake is when Will Smith improvises his scene of meeting Sara with what appears to be an entire sandwich in his mouth, causing the cast and crew to completely lose their shit laughing.
- Ho Yay: There's one scene where Hitch is showing Albert how to kiss and pretends to be Allegra, and has him practice a good night kiss scenario. Romantic music even plays during the scene.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Albert for Allegra.
- Jerkass: Vance Munson.
- Ladykiller in Love: Hitch.
- Letting Her Hair Down: As the film progresses, Sara's clothing gets more elegant and feminine as a result of her letting down some of her many walls. She begins the film in a sharp pants suit and ends it in a lovely dress.
- Plus she wears her hair in looser styles. While she still sometimes puts her hair up, it's not as severe as when Hitch first sees her.
- Love Makes You Crazy: Hitch happens to explain this very well:
Hitch: Because that's what people do. They leap and hope to God they can fly because otherwise they just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down "Why in the hell did I jump?" But here I am, Sara, falling...and there's only one person who makes me feel like I can fly, and that's you.
- Magic Feather: Hitch is a slight variation on this.
- My Card: As in another movie with Will Smith, Hitch disgueses the nature of his business by using a brown plastic square with his phone number written out (One Two Three, etc) as his business card.
- Not What It Looks Like: Unfortunately, Albert doesn't realize Hitch and Allegra are hugging because Hitch discovered he doesn't have to be The Date Doctor since men and women can still find love on their own. Choking ensues.
- One Side of the Story: When Sara learns that Hitch is the date doctor she's been trying to get revenge on, not only does she ruin his career and his client's reputation, she never bothers to find out whether or not he actually worked with the guy who mentioned him.
- Secret Test of Character: Hitch doesn't take on any client who finds his information, he spends some time talking to them and trying to find out why they need his help. He seeks out the people who are infatuated with a girl and don't know what to do. As such he sometimes prods them to see how they react.
- Shout-Out: Hitch during his college years looked a lot like Steve Urkel.
- Spoiled Sweet: Allegra.
- Stealth Pun: Hitch; the phrase "to get hitched" means "to get married", which is pretty much the point of Hitch's job to help people fall in love and eventually get married.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Hitch gives Sara an epic one after she destroys his reputation and career and tries to pull a You Know What You Did.
- Unlucky Everydude: Albert.
- What The Hell Reporter: "This is EXACTLY why falling in love is so goddamn hard!"
- You Know What You Did: A magnificent aversion of this since Hitch calls Sara out on her attempt at pulling this trope on him.