Bad Movie Beatdown

"I'm Mathew Buck, beating down bad movies everywhere!"

A snarky young Brit, Mathew "Film Brain" Buck hosts "Bad Movie Beatdown" on That Guy With The Glasses. By his own admission, Buck is following the Nostalgia Critic's example, but there's nothing nostalgic about the crap he reviews. Before he became a video contributor, Buck wrote articles for the site and was (and continues to be) a moderator on the forums.

See his TGWTG page, and his blip.tv page.

See here for a list of things reviewed.

Tropes used in Bad Movie Beatdown include:
  • Abuse Is Okay When It Is Female On Male: His Crossover review of Sucker Punch with JesuOtaku was a pretty dire example of this.
  • Actually Pretty Funny: Subverted, with Epic Movie: When Silas shoots Mr. Tumnus, [1], but then it stops being funny when he keeps shooting.
    • Played straight with a cameo by Stephen King in Monkeybone where Edgar Allan Poe mocks King for being a fraidy cat, or, to quote Mr. Poe: "King, you pussy!"
    • Twice in Night at the Museum II: one with the inch-high Roman soldier running furiously through the grass on the White House lawn, and then the camera pulls back to show a human's eye view of the lawn, which looks completely undisturbed. The second time, the inch-high Roman soldier goes into an epic, slow-motion leap clearly spoofing 300 only to come down and viciously attack a full-sized bad guy's boot.
    • Acknowledged that the head-butting scene, following the line, "nobody wins with a head-butt" in Paul Blart: Mall Cop was the only funny scene in the entire film.
    • When they make a shout-out to The Terminator in The Marine:

"See, it's funny because it's Robert Patrick and he was the T-1000! ...Okay, I thought it was funny, so shut up."

Eddie: What's Nintendo?
Film Brain: That's actually a good question Eddie since the NES didn't come out until 1985. Oops!

    • Also in 10,000 BC, where he points out the use of boats, pulleys, scaffolding, and telescopes, all of which weren't invented until thousands of years later.

...And so they then take them to...THE FUCKING PYRAMIDS!?!

The Rap Critic: I know why you want me to review that movie, it's because I am--
Film Brain A student at an arts college!
Rap Critic: Uh...yeah.

  • Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Matt points out that the female lead of Good Luck Chuck should have had a concussion after hitting her head on an ice slide, but she only winds up with a chipped tooth.
  • Berserk Button: The movie Seven Pounds. His review is one thing, but the commentary for said review [dead link] shows it even more. Mentioned by specifically by trope name in the interview/Q&A with FreyaMau.
    • Never accuse him of not doing his research, because he does.
    • He does not like disproportionately long credits.
    • Sexualized violence against women, too, judging from the disgusted tone of voice he uses when describing such scenes.
    • The Condemned seems to do it for him, as well, judging by the fact that he actually interrupts his summary of the movie to deliver a several-minutes-long rant about the film's hamfisted, hypocritical, and just plain unfortunate message.
  • Big Damn Heroes: When out of nowhere he swooped in and rescued MikeJ from severe tea deprivation.

"Now go finish that review, you magnificent bastard!"

"Of course, The Black Dude Dies First. How? He fell three feet! How did that kill him?!"

Jesus, James Woods, your acting is more destructive than Stallone's bomb, you must be picking splinters out your teeth!

Film Brain: How do you survive an explosion to the face?
Critical Marine: ...Come again?
Film Brain: I'm reviewing the movie The Marine, and I'm just wondering, how do you survive so many explosions and be just like John Cena?
Critical Marine: That movie is an insult to Marines, Film Brat.
Film Brain: One more question... at what point in the training regime do you acquire super powers?
(Critical Marine gets up and leaves)
Film Brain: Semper fi! (Salutes, palm outward)
Critical Marine: That's the wrong salute, dumbass!

Film Brain: No. It doesn't deserve that.

  • Designated Hero: The robbers of the eponymous Money Train show no real heroic traits to Film Brain. Similarly, Slim from Steal is considered to be this
  • Designated Villain: Film Brain points this out in Meteor, where the general is a bad, bad man for not trusting the Russians... during the Cold War.
    • He also points out Patterson in Money Train would be a hero in any other action film.
    • He further points out that Anheuser is made out to the bad guy in 2012 because refuses to open the doors of the Arks for the stranded people because he knows its far too dangerous to do so.
  • Description Cut/Tempting Fate: In the review of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus:

Film Brain: Don't worry, It's not as if a giant shark is going to leap 30,000 feet out of the water for no apparent reason and kill everyone [on an airplane]. (One scene later) Oh.

Film: Big fucking gun.
Mathew(cheerily): BIG FRIENDLY GIANT!

The day I put a To Catch a Predator reference in a video and this happens. Oh, the irony.

  • Hostile Show Takeover: Professor Celluloid attempts this at the beginning of the Ratatoing review, by doing a scathing review of Die Hard. When this is cut off, he responds by convincingly disguising his copy of "Ratatoing" as one of "Ratatouille."
  • Hypocrisy: He calls out Gamer for railing against glorifying violence, but the film itself glorifies it with no sense of irony.
  • Hypocrisy Nod: Knocked the usage of shaky camera in one of his reviews, then quickly lampshades that his early videos were annoying because of it.
  • I Am Not Leonard Nimoy: During Steven Seagal movies, FB doesn't refer to the lead by character name, just as Seagal.
  • I Am Not Spock: While he generally names a character by their name rather than by the actor, he simply refers to an auctioneer in Hudson Hawk by "Fred from Coronation Street".
  • Idiot Plot: Has his own catchphrase to describe this trope: "Why don't they just (insert smarter course of action here)? Oh right, because we wouldn't have a movie!"
    • Alternatively: "Oh right, because the plot says so!"
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: Linkara suffers throughout the review of The Spirit:

Linkara: Holy crap, Frank Miller makes worse puns than you, Film Brain!
Film Brain: I never thought such a thing could be accomplished.

    • Not that Linkara is blameless there either:

Film Brain: Did he just break the fourth wall?
Linkara: Don't worry - we're atop it!
Audience: [[[Collective Groan]]]
Caption: Channel Awesome would like to apologise for that pun. The writer has been flogged for his sins.

Remember, Sly always gets a lot of pussy. [Audience Groan]

  • I Need a Freaking Drink: After reviewing Seven Pounds, he signs off saying that he needs a stiff drink.
  • Inferred Holocaust: Film Brain points out that Forrest blowing up an oil rig in On Deadly Ground will cause more environmental damage than letting it run normally.
  • Invincible Hero: Film Brain considers On Deadly Ground's Forrest Taft this.
    • In his review of Ultraviolet Film Brain calls both Violet and Preston from Equilibrium this.
    • He also points out that Jackson Curtis of 2012 is this, actually comparing him to Jesus later on in the review.
  • Jittercam: Mocked more than a couple of times, though his early episodes also tried (and failed) at a guerilla-style shoot.
  • Keet: Many people thought Buck was acting out of character in Kickassia because of what he's like during "Bad Movie Beatdown", but he has said himself that his real-life personality is usually closer to the Kickassia persona, and that Kickassia had enough Deadpan Snarker characters already, and another would have been redundant.
  • Large Ham: Whenever Matthew isn't doing regular snark, he gets really enthustiastic.
  • Let Me Get This Straight...: Film Brain recapping the ludicrous plan to stab a man-eating piranha in the eyes.

Good luck with that!

They can kill as many men as they like. But women, children, and puppies? Those motherf{{[[[This Trope Is Bleep]] beep}}]ers.

I am a mentor. I'm supposed to die. For reals this time.

  • Misblamed: In response to fan complaints, Film Brain and Lordhebe said in an interview that the first review with Professor Celluloid was filmed the week before Spoony unveiled Dr Insano, but not released until the week after, making this inevitable. Coincidentally, they also filmed the review for Transmorphers the same week Spoony reviewed its sequel on a whim.
  • Mood Whiplash: Points this out in the Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End review, contrasting the dark subject matter with the amount of Slapstick aimed at kids.
  • Narm: In the remake of The Time Machine, the protagonist saves his original love interest from dying in the first timeline but then she gets killed anyway, proving that You Can't Fight Fate. Unfortunately, the way it happened makes Film Brain burst out laughing over how silly he thought it was.
    • Film Brain laughs at the ridiculous CG fish in Mega Piranha twice.
  • Narrowed It Down to the Guy I Recognize: Lampshaded in the review of The Riddle, where he calls it the Murder, She Wrote principle.
  • Never Live It Down: Noted to the reaction to his Equilibrium review.
    • In a couple of skits, Film Brain wrote The Nostalgia Critic addressing him as "Equilibrium douchebag".
    • Lampshaded in his 50th episode (The Riddle), where he expresses surprise at having made it past the Equilibrium episode.
    • The whole point of Spoony's guest appearance in his video review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is to berate him for giving it a 3.5/5 in his written review.
  • No OSHA Compliance: Film Brain points out the camcorder in Final Destination 3 should have been confiscated.
  • "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: He states that he's not making up that Urkel from Family Matters (Jaleel White) starred in an Asylum movie while he was in the middle of editing a review of another movie starring 80s pop star Tiffany.
  • Oh Crap: At the end of his Evan Almighty review:

Morgan Freeman: I now issue a new commandment.
Film Brain: Wait, what the...
Morgan Freeman: Thou Shalt Do the Dance.
Film Brain: OH GOD NO!

  • commence dance montage*

Film Brain: Don't you need these to see?
Prof. Celluloid: No, I see in 3D already.
POV Cam shows Celluloid suddenly seeing everything with 3D-red-and-blue outlines

  • Precision F-Strike: From All About Steve, Sandra Bullock was doing a monologue about curse words and the right time to use them. FB's response is a simple "Shut the fuck up".
    • Before that, and probably his most effective use of this trope, in his Seven Pounds review: "The movie is literally telling us that suicide is okay as long as you donate your organs. What the fuck kind of message is that?"
    • And again during his review of Ultraviolet, when reacting to the chasm-sized plot holes created by the reveal of Daxos being a hemophage.
    • And again in his 2012 review: "If Yellowstone erupted, we'd be fucked. Really, REALLY fucked."
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: He tries to use to urban slang at the start of his crossover review with The Rap Critic, who is just as impressed as one would expect an African-American rap music critic faced with a white English guy trying to be "street" would be.
  • Put on a Bus: The end of his The Jazz Singer review seems to be this way with him "going on a vacation". He came back a few months later when Real Life slowed down a bit for him.
  • Real Song Theme Tune: "Ready to Roll" by Jet Black Stare.
    • Played epically on the piano by Todd in the Shadows for the opening of their joint review of "Sunday School Musical".
  • Recycled in Space: Notes that the original The Fast and the Furious is Point Break With Street Racing!
  • Recycled Script: Claims Mega Piranha is this to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus in-universe.
  • Running Gag:
    • "SYMBOLISM!!!"
    • "ACTINGGASM!"
    • "Exposition! Do your duty!"
    • Whenever the audio is poorly synced in a scene, he replies by saying "I'm a ventriloquist!" (or "[Actor name] is a ventriloquist!") - complete with deliberately out of sync lip movements (or none at all).
    • "Because when you need to add substance to your shitty movie, just add Nazis"
    • "BLEURGH! BLEURGH!"
    • "InnuENDO!"
    • Seagal Month gave us "Seagal Body Double Count" and "Seagal Voice Double Count"
    • Whenever he runs across a movie that uses text to introduce characters, he does the same with a bit of Self-Deprecation.
  • Sarcasm Failure: The giant piranhas jumping like dolphins in Mega Piranha.
  • Self-Deprecation: In the scene he wrote, in which he discusses his lack of success with the Powers-That-Be, he has Doug refer to him as "the Equilibrium Douchebag".
    • In a scene parodying the freeze-frame character descriptions in Mega Piranha, his description is "Mathew Buck: Whiny British Douchebag".
  • Shout-Out: He used, "I'm acting" in a mocking tone similar to The Nostalgia Critic in his review of Mega Piranha.
  • Shown Their Work: Film Brain clearly puts tons of research into the movies he reviews for his Bad Movie Beatdowns. In fact, when he was the guest for Transmission Awesome, he was asked a few questions about film trivia by the hosts and answered all of them correctly, save for a rather obscure question about the 2007 Transformers film.
  • Slasher Smile:
    • An incredibly psychotic looking expression in his Darkness Falls review when he says "I'm a ventriloquist too!".
    • And if possible, an even creepier one in his crossover with Nash and Linkara for the Wonder woman pilot.
    • He also does this in his Hudson Hawk review to point out how ridiculous all the mugging for the camera in the movie is.

Film Brain: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I DID EVERY REVIEW LIKE THIS? HAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Film Brain: WE KNOW!

  • Villain Ball: Film Brain's interpetation of the actions of the Colonel Diaz in Mega Piranha. And indeed it seems very odd that he'd follow them to the U.S. and shoot down a U.S. navy helicopter just so he can try to capture the heroes after they killed the piranhas.
  • The Watson: The rest of his cast, but usually forum moderator Lordhebe.
  • What Do You Mean It's for Kids?: He points this out frequently in his Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End review, with the rampant amount of death and innuendo, especially the hanging of a child in the beginning of a film marketed towards children.
  • Worst Whatever Ever: The remote from Click at the climax of Epic Movie.

Biggest. Cop-out. Ever. It's not funny.

Dom: I'm in your face.
Film Brain: Yeah, and my face was in your mum last night. Ohhhh!

Film Brain: What is with that crowd? (imitating Dom) Hey everyone, yo momma's so fat, she made love to a whale at SEA WORLD! Ohhh!

  1. ↑ though, he acknowledges the timing was off
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