< Desu Des Brigade

Desu Des Brigade/Characters

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Professor Otaku

Prof has been reviewing things for a quite a bit longer than his peers, and coincidentally has the most primitive reviews, just his avatar snarking at some esoteric anime.

JesuOtaku

By far the most successful and analytical of the Brigade, JO is notable for her in depth and objective reviews and her large amount of shows: JO Anime Reviews, In-Betweens, New Lyrics, and various Lets Plays.

Hello, and welcome to the JesuOtaku anime review. Your mission today is to sit right where you are and listen to me talk about vampires in a very balony British accent. May God and Her Majesty be with you. Amen.

Aow! It's August!

"Seriously I'm straight but that gurl is dead sexy."

"Wow. It's times like this I wish I could whistle. You could stop traffic with a body like that." (in addressing Elizabeth from Trigun)

  • Tomboy: From the way she dresses to the shows she likes, JO is pretty masculine.
    • She makes it crystal clear in the start of her Mahoromatic review that dolling herself up is not a hobby of hers.

Arkada

The loud and proud Canadian badass, Ark is an oddity, he doesn't review the old school shows like Prof, nor Moe and Porn like Vix, and since Jesu Otaku reviews the bigger/cult shows, Ark seems to stick to recent releases that don't get the love and attention they might, or might not deserve.

Dammit, why am I not better at pronouncing these things?

Vixen

The curvy and angry fanservice queen of the Brigade. Vix sometimes reviews Hentai, which brings out all that hilarious bile. She also does reviews of disney films, which show her a bit calmer if no less snarky, and the Twilight franchise, which brings out even more bile than usual.

Malakye

The poor Moe loving video editor of the site, Mal is definitely not a major player, now has Mal's Monthly Manga and Sake Shots, so that may be changing.


Miku

A digital celebrity in Japan, as well as a favorite singer of Mal's, who helped Mal with Weekly Highlights and served as the site's mascot... Until Vixen tied her to a rocket and exploded her out of jealousy.

  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Her replacement by Tsubake was because the Brigade, while no action had been taken, didin't want to take the risk of getting their collective asses sued since they don't own Miku.
  • Robot Buddy: To Malakye.
  • Robot Girl
  • Virtual Celebrity: Was this both in her actual career and on the site.
  • The Voiceless: Because Mal was too cheap to buy another microphone for her.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair

Tsubake

Another Vocaloid, created by Mal from Miku's parts and more. She speaks in a robotic monotone and is very loyal to her master despite his obvious shortcomings, and believes they will one day rule the world. She also has her own aspirations for world domination, a rivalry with Vixen and a deep disgust for all of humanity.

  • A.I. Is a Crapshoot
  • Barbie Doll Anatomy: According to Vix, she has no genetalia.
  • Bastard Girlfriend: According to Hugh.
  • Berserk Button: Don't call her a blow up doll. Unless you're funding her, you won't survive.
    • Also as the beach video showed Naked Humans. They're lucky she didn't kill them.
  • Breakout Character: As you can tell by the sheer number of tropes compared to the Brigaders.
  • Covert Pervert: According to the "Want You Gone" video she has a large collection of Yaoi porn, to the point where losing it was one of the two times she's been genuinely upset(not just grossed out by humanity.)
  • Creepy Monotone
  • Cute and Psycho
  • Deadpan Snarker
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Was mentioned in Mal's section of the site before her proper appearance on Pocky Spot.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: Was more subserviant to Mal, if still as violent when she first appeared. This changed quickly to the point where just Mal reprogramming her to call him Master counts as a serious threat.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Got jealous of a troupe cosplaying as Miku.
  • Humans Through Robot Eyes: As clearly displayed by her trip to the mall, Tsubake does not grasp human culture, especially Christmas.
    • Taken a step further in the second Christmas special, where her disgust with humanity and the shock of finding out Malakye is her equivalent of God causes her to have a mental breakdown
  • Kill All Humans: A subset of her world domination plans, evidenced by the fact that she calls us all meatbags.
    • In fact it's a widely stated view of hers.
  • Killer Robot: Has killed dozens of people, and whoever she hasn't killed (Brigaders aside), she's horribly mutalated or tortured.
  • Laughably Evil
  • Morality Pet: While Mal isn't stopping her rampages, he's the only one who can stop her wrath.
  • My Master, Right or Wrong: Subverted. While she regards Mal as her master, she has no problem pointing out his addiction to moe porn and sake, not to mention going into a catatonic shock after realizing that Mal is her creator, and by religous logic her God.
    • Not to mention she considered being reprogrammed to call Mal "Master" a punishment.
  • Not So Above It All: Her secret stash of Yaoi Porn showed that while she may hate us all, there is a little tiny bit of humanity inside of her, as shown when she thought she lost it, and was actually geuinley greatful that Vixen got it back for her.
  • Refuge in Audacity: The only reason her murderous actions aren't too disturbing is because they're so entertaining.
  • Robo Speak: Speaks in a very emotionless monotone.
  • Robot Girl
  • Sitcom Arch Nemesis: To Vixen.
  • Ted Baxter: As shown on her Formspring account, she thinks little of the other Brigaders and also thinks she's unstoppable and that nothing is a threat to her.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Took this position from Mal and ran with it.
  • Turned Against Their Masters: Mal orignally programmed her to be Moe. She fixed that and plots the brigaders' deaths on a regular basis.
  • Vocal Evolution: At first, she spoke with a Machine Monotone, but after her voice box short-circuits in Pocky Spot 35, she gets a new, more expressive voice.
  • What Is This Thing You Call Love?: Ripped a guy's arms off for trying to kiss her under the mistletoe. She's also both amazed an horrified at the lengths "Meatbags" will go to get laid.
    • She also ends up on a date with a Walmart self-checkout named Hugh..unfortunately, she didn't realize it was a date and thought they were planning world domination while Hugh thought she was a dominatrix.
  • Yaoi Fangirl: Has a large collection of Yaoi porn apparently.
  • You Gotta Have Pink Hair
  • Your Size May Vary

Kagami

The first Sixth Ranger to join the Brigade, Kagami makes AMVs and showcases them with her show K-Station. She got onto the group In-Universe by blackmailing them with a possible lawsuit about Tsubake killing her boyfriend.

Rabbit

The second Sixth Ranger to join the Brigade, she hosts To Read Or Not To Read, Which tells people whether or not to read certain Manga.

  • American Accents: Well, she's using one. Just not a particular one.
  • Animal Motifs: Obviously, a bunny girl.
  • Bi the Way: Just check her Twitter/Formspring. Also mentioned wanting a girlfriend in at least one of Vixen's reviews.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: As seen in Vixen's review of Kaichou wa Maid-Sama, she mocks the main male character when Vixen calls him perfect and throws water on her when she starts getting too attracted to him.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: In recent appearances.
  • Cute and Psycho: Probably the most adorable member of the site... who also electrified Hitch's balls just for the hell of it.
  • Drop-In Character: Is seen quite often in Vix's newer reviews due to being her roommate.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Did Vixen's Strawberry Panic several months before actually joining the site.
  • Fake Brit: Inverted. She's naturally British, but uses an American accent for her show.
  • Hot Librarian: Does her show in the Brigade HQ's Library.
  • Ink Suit Actor: Though as of her latest review, she's switched to live action.
  • Les Yay: With Vixen, though in this case they invoked this on purpose to get her on the site.(In-Universe anyway).
  • Meganekko
  • Kid Appeal Character: One of Vixen's closest friends in real life and in-universe and recently joined the cast of Vixen's reviews, as well as being the youngest member of the team.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Averted. Her American accent sounds as natural as her British one.
  • Seventh Ranger

Hitch

The final Sixth Ranger to join the site. He hosts Anime Movie Review which looks at... um Anime Movies.

  • Chivalrous Pervert: While He enjoys Hentai and knows his stuff about the subject, he has a lot of respect for women. He also enjoys strong female leads and deplores rape.
  • Did Not Do the Research: He criticized Kunihiko Ikuhara for "making" Star Driver.
  • Doing It for the Art: Hitch's most recent upload, Top Ten Sing-alongs took hours to edit and put together. Every opening has its own unique timing ball, a matching font, and bounces along the lyrics in sync with the music. Its clear he put alot of effort into this episode.
    • He also put together and uploaded a preview of AMR - on his birthday.
  • Eighth Ranger
  • Face Palm: His reaction to this in his Vampire Wars review after believing that "Project D" stands for "Project Dracula"

Kuki: Well, if they are using "Dracula"...
Hitch: How much of you wanna bet it's "Van Helsing?"
Kuki: I shall be known as "Bat!"
Hitch: (doing it repeatedly) Face palm! Face palm! Face palm! Face palm! Face palm! Face palm!

  • Female Gaze: His Brigade avatar has a noticeable crotch bulge. This wouldn't be noteworthy except that no such thing exists on any of the other male Brigaders' avatars.
    • And you only see him in his videos from the waist up so we can't confirm if it's part of his outfit or this trope.
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: When not reviewing, he's actually a very sweet guy who adores felines. This extends to using Lolcats as censor bars.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted. He and Prof both go by "CJ".
  • Loveable Sex Maniac: To a degree, but he somehow contests Prof for the site's biggest pervert after La Blue Girl.
  • Meganekko: He likes women with glasses.
  • Straight Man
  • Tempting Fate / Brick Joke: After learning of the afore mentioned Project D being done at a NASA base, he said, "I am so outta here the moment they mention space vampires!" Much later in the review, near the end, when the vampire tells Kuki about their battle with evil aliens across the universe...

Hitch: Done. I am not doing space vampires! No! Done. Done! Dammit!!

  • The Smurfette Principle: Inverted, Prof and Ark brought him on in universe to even out the ratio of female to male Brigaders... and because he owns a sombrero.

Steven Lajr

Known as Holy Diver on YouTube, he teams up with Vixen to review the Twilight franchise.

Hugh

A Walmart scanner that Tsubake met during her trip to Walmart. He later asked her out under the impression she was a dominatrix... yeah the only reason he's still alive is that he has loads of money and now works as Tsubake's weapons supplier.

  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Seems like a nice enough guy...until you realize that he only asked Tsubake out because he thought she would have sex with him, and then blew up at her for it. He also steals money from innocent people.
  • Covert Pervert
  • Dogged Nice Guy
  • Happiness in Slavery: He's perfectly alright with his job, provided he takes a little bit from the people who use him.
    • He also happily funds Tsubake... despite the fact that she would kill him the second he stopped being useful and he's well aware of this.
  • Hopeless Suitor: He didn't have much of a chance before he called Tsubake a fetish doll, and she freely admits he's just there to give her money as far as she's concerned.
  • Secretly Wealthy: By stealing money from the people who use him.

Profette

An Opposite Gender Clone of Professor Otaku who showed up at the end of his review of Prétear. She also reviewed Fushigi Yuugi and Prof went back to normal... but she ended up sticking around.

Ditzen

A combination of Ditto and Vixen, Ditzen is Vixen's ditzy clone who lives in the attic and takes over the Q&A for her.

Steve and Joe

A pair of stock footage cameramen who appear in every episode of AMR to Hitch's annoyance. They shoot Hentai and comment on the sex related clips on the show.

  • Stock Footage: From the Hentai Anime "Chain of Lust." There, their names were Masaki Kitazawa and Koji Miyamoto.
  • Stop Helping Me!: They show up in Hitch and Vixen's review of La Blue Girl and insist on talking about the clitris in their usual fashion despite Hitch telling them not to, correctly guessing he'd get more electric shocks as a result.
  • Those Two Guys
  • Phrase Catcher: SHUT UP!
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