< Counter Monkey

Counter Monkey/Funny


  • The Toilet Pizza (Text Version), from Spoony's musings about what brought it about to him putting it to use. Though at the end he notes that the only reason the story is funny is because nobody got seriously ill and/or died, which could have easily happened.
  • Invisible Jason (Text Version), where he recounts one of his friends managing to stand perfectly still on a car hood (and not even his own car) for sixteen hours just to avoid getting killed out of a game. By the time he's describing his returning the next morning and shouts "He's still there!", Noah is clearly right back in that moment of pure disbelief.
    • This exchange between him and Jason: "'Um, is that your car?' He goes, 'What? No.' …Beat… 'What are you doing on someon– why are you on a car!'"
    • Oreo is sitting on the arm of the couch trying to grab a toy off his lap, but once he starts acting out what Jason was doing, she stops to stare at him with a completely puzzled expression.
    • "You've been standing on the hood of a car for 12 hours? I know guys in the military who couldn't do that!"
    • And when Spoony tried to get him off the car in the morning, the first thing Jason did was ask if the woman he was originally hiding from was gone.
  • During his Shadowrun: The Squirt Gun Wars V-Log, his new puppy Oreo's various interruptions of his story which include jumping up on the couch beside him and trying to play (which involves biting his arm) and running into the camera while he is recording causing the whole camera to shake.
    • She breaks one of her toys after just a few days, much to Spoony's outrage, and then provides the perfect deadpan reaction at his saying at the end "Can I help you?"
    • The subject matter of the V-Log itself is pretty hilarious. Just goes to show the raw potential of chemical warfare when you put thought into it.
  • The epic rise and fall of Vegan Steve after sending one of Spoony's old Dungeons & Dragons campaigns Off the Rails.
    • Oreo's fascination with his circular hand movements.
    • The repeated references to Steve being a "fucknut."
  • Oreo shows up again briefly in All Jedi or No Jedi, and just as Spoony describes something as "boring" she gives a big, perfectly-timed yawn.
    • He advises us to either make every player a Jedi or not use them at all when playing a Star Wars RPG, because otherwise you'll always get the non-Jedis trying to horn in on the Jedi battles.
    • He made the mistake of giving Darth Vader a cameo in one of his campaigns, causing all the players to immediately drop the story in favor of hunting down and killing Vader, while Spoony desperately tried to get them back on track.
    • He recounted Wookiee players who had maximized their body stat to such ridiculous heights that they could Won't Work On Me lightsabers!
  • Vampire - Spoony's Jyhad. His ultimate revenge is mainly a Crowning Moment of Awesome, but also hilarious.
  • Tandem's Last Ride
    • The entire thing, right from the stoner caterpillar to the battle against the Lich.
    • "He's a twentieth level monk![1]" *loud squeak by Oreo's squeaky toy that almost sounds like a frightened squeal*
      • The visual of the barely alive Tandem stabbing the remains of the Doormouse, to the point where his party members had to drag him off.
    • Him singing "He's trying to enchant us! He's trying to enchant us! FUCK-ING-KILL-HIM~!" Also the idea of an elven bard singing Iron Maiden as a counter-song. And he did it at the table.
    • The description of how Zeus literally kicked Tandem's ass off Olympus for boning one of his daughters (he thinks it was Athena, but he was pretty drunk at the time), which is hilariously hypocritical considering it's Zeus, the patron God of Really Gets Around himself.
    • The multiple Not Making This Up Disclaimers he gives for "Castle Greyhawk", including the legendary mage Mordenkainen is a dimensional traveler who films movies in his castle using real monsters, an encounter with the cast of Star Trek (complete with phasers), and getting into a fight with Thor because you walk into his dressing room.
  • Age of Manure. "Everything went to shit!"
    • The entire story of the Manure Golem, covering three pages front and back. Be prepared to stop the video because it hurts to keep laughing.
      • "Realizing that the Manure Golems were uncontrollable, Hinsty David created the Rod of Manure."

Spoony: I create a rod of manure every day.

Bennett: *laughing his ass off* I do that every morning.

      • "Mr. Mockingham, come here! You have to see this! I made a golem...out of shit! Not just any shit though, magic dog shit!"
    • Spoony's fascination with the "double club." And then he and Bennett spend ages thinking up double version of other weapons.
  • While the Thieves' World story gets really dark, really fast, the story of some no name idiot mage throwing a bottle of acid at Tempus Thales face still had me laughing for five minutes straight. It couldn't have been a better punchline if Spoony had planned it because it was all set up perfectly, from the minor tangent early on talking about the devious horror of chucking flasks of acid at people in combat, to the descriptions of how he reacted to getting acid in the face, it will leave you gasping for breath.

"He got a flask of acid to the face- there's no good way to take that!

    • What makes that particular moment even more hilarious is that, usually it's impossible to hit Tempus Thales, and in fact, Spoony intended to have him dodge the flask or simply get hit in the chest and shrug it off as a mild annoyance. The problem was that the mage - precisely at that place and at that time - rolled a crit. Spoony proceeds to reenact his reaction to it by facepalming and going "Oh... oh no...".
    • Just the way he describes the reactions of the PCs during that moment is gold.

Mage: I-I thought it was cultists!
Other PC: Well, OBVIOUSLY FUCKING NOT!!!

    • The other players extensively debating ways to collect the bounty on their mage friend without being double-crossed, while standing right next to him. Especially this part:

Mage: "Guys, there's no way Tempus Thales is going to let you live even if you give me to him."
Other PC: "Yeah, you're right. But on the other hand, ten thousand gold pieces!"
Mage: "Yeah..."

    • Spoony constantly making fun of Matthew's "I'm not that kind of a thief", turning it into a Running Gag thorough the story.

Spoony: I just remembered, it was Matthew who was the first to die (killed by Tempus Thales in the final Boss Fight). Guess he wasn't the kind of thief who fights well.

    • His frustration with the player who created a character devoted with the goddess of death, who was always brooding and even seeking out corpses to sing her praises over. He was only kept around because he could heal people; and even then he would only heal them if they would promise to say a prayer to the goddess.

Spoony: Ugh. (bored monotone) "I pledge allegiance to the Reaper…"

Spoony: A Chaotic Neutral character could very well burn down the orphanage, I would be like "Why did you do that!?" and they would be like "*Shrug* Eh.". *Shrugs* I can't argue with that!

  • An especially flaky player in the same Thieves World game once called in to say he'd be late, because he had to go back home to get his pants. "It's so stupid, it had to be true" and Noah spends the next 15 seconds assuring us that he didn't make it up.
    • After Gary's wife turned out to be horribly racist, one of his friends developed a complete Bile Fascination with it and kept trying to get her to keep talking about it.
      • Spoony's completely baffled reaction to why said wife even felt comfortable with sharing her extreme viewpoint with him, a complete stranger.

Spoony: I guess I'm a fucking Nazi!

      • And then he tells her that the friend she calls a wetback (i.e. Mexican) is actually Polish, and that on top of being a racist she was also massively stupid.
    • The title of the Vlog alone is comedy gold. "The Importance of Wearing Pants."
    • Oreo randomly licking Burton's arm near the beginning.
  • In Dungeon Mastering A Great Game, he provides a tip for dealing with players addressing a Plot Hole: simply saying "Yes, that is odd..." or a similar phrase (coupled to an enigmatic smile) can turn an immersion-breaking error into an Oh Crap moment, getting the players paranoid that things aren't what they seem.
  • In "The Dungeon Master's Secret Weapon", his bit of Hypocritical Humour about how outraged a party of adventurers will get that someone else "stole their stuff that they had rightfully stolen!"
    • Another gem from the Dungeon Master's Secret Weapon video is Spoony's impression of the party after finding out their boots were stolen. "They stole our boots. They're wearing our boots."

"They aren't actually wearing them, they're twice their size..."
"The are wearing our boots!"

Pathfinder Campaign

Session 1

  • The introduction of "Rrerrh the Ranger." Spoony feels the need to ask Coldguy if that's the necessary pronunciation.
  • The miscellaneous teases of Jinx, Pushing Up Roses' gnome druid. Her lower intelligence stat results in many You No Take Candle jokes.
  • "Then he dies."
  • Coldguy's dwarf making a Bond One-Liner after ploughing through two bandits in two turns without armor.

Rrerrh: Oih, Tax season is ovveR.

  • At the beginning, they get their mission from the mayor and are cued to leave, there is a silence until Maleuseu says "I am no longer in that building" and asks if anyone will leave with her.

Session 2

  • It's revealed that Pushing Up Roses opted out, Jinx leaving as a result with an in-story reason. The party jokes that "(Her) planet needs (her)!"
  • "Liz... I swear to god, I will come over there."
  • Magnus tries to stabilize Gustav, but fails. Drama collapses as the death marker appears on the wrong party member.

Sean Fausz: I'm not dead! Fuck you!

  • "Our old friends were too squishy. We need new friends."

Session 3

  • Early on, after mentioning that Marzgurl was absent again due to computer troubles, Spoony gets the idea to contact her by phone (by text or voice) to see if she can somehow participate. Numerous jokes stem from the concept.
  • "We find the corpse of Pinkie Pie."
  • The entirety of the bandit camp, mainly due to the sound effects used including a perfectly timed Wilhelm scream

Session 4

Spoony: Next time we're cracking out the Manure Golem.

  1. ↑ As Spoony notes, it's actually a wererat
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