< Brows Held High

Brows Held High/Funny


  • His illustration for the "autoclitoridectomy" in Antichrist. He says he can't show us what happens, so he illustrates it with a Rebus Bubble involving a kitten and a pair of scissors.
    • "For some reason I see the cover art of a Twilight ripoff novel."
    • "The tree unironically enjoys ytmnd.com! Strange."
    • She becomes She Hulk.
    • Discussing some of the dialogue:

He: I'd like to do one more exercise, it's like role playing.
Oancitizen!He: Now, I'm going be a half-elf ranger. Here's a character sheet. Now, you can pick anything you want but don't pick half elf or ranger since we need to diversify our skill sets. The talking fox will be the DM.

    • This couple has now made made Edward and Bella Cullen look like John and Abigail Adams.
    • Hey, a phallic symbol! (He's just so chipper in the manner in which he says it, it's hilarious.)
    • The familiar song after the fade-out of the stillborn deer.
  • From his review of Pinocchio:
    • His description of the World of Good Boys

It's a world of finals clubs, insider trading, and mountains of cocaine. It will stay that way as long as you keep the coloreds out. (wink) Now let me tell you about the Fuck Truck...

    • A very clever Shout-Out during the last Blue Fairy scene:

Well, I'm off to Texas to review anime for a living.

    • "When I die, I will be greeted at the gates of hell by a thin, hyperactive Italian man, who will say to me, 'I'm a fish, gloog gloog.'"
  • From his review of Anatomy of Hell:
    • After hearing the woman's excuse for attempted suicide ("Because I'm a woman"), he exemplifies how flimsy the gendered excuse is:

Jeez, man, that's the third time you've ordered pizza this week! why do you keep doing that?
BECAUSE I'M A MAN! (continues to nom on pizza)

Kyle: In Süskind's novel, this is the key to his alienation: Jean-Baptiste Grenouille's sensory input cripples his emotional output, and so we see-
Jean-Baptiste dodges an apple thrown at him... from behind.

Kyle: [astounded] Oh my God he's Daredevil!

    • Movie is explaining that protagonist will not only prove he's someone but prove he's exceptional. Cut to Oancitizen, singing:

"Riff raff, street rat, I don't buy that!"

    • Lampshading the protagonist's being a walking Mentor Occupational Hazard by saying this about leaving a cave: The cave was later shot in the stalactites during a 3 a.m. drug store robbery.
    • "Oh bite me Eponine!"
    • Anything regarding the perfume-instigated orgies ("He could go to all the major European capitals and cause them to collapse due to severe in-breeding!").
  • The ending of the Gerry review has Oancitizen very slowly walking to the kitchen as Diamanda Hagan, Obscurus Lupa, Apollo Z Hack and Derek of Audible Underwear hack his feed. Apollo and Derek try to shut it off, Lupa starts having Gerry flashbacks, and Hagan keeps insisting on just solving the problem by nuking D.C. ("I've always wanted an excuse to nuke a major world capital!").
    • The Book of Exodus had less wandering through through the desert!
    • Giving the audience a break from the terrible movie - by showing a video of a cockatoo dancing to bad hip hop. Specifically Whip My Hair by Willow Smith.
    • Oancitizen's singing different songs over the pair of Gerrys marching was hilarious! Including Do You Hear the People Sing.
      • Probably the two funniest songs sung in this sequence are "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers, and then Oan ends it all with his own theme song.
      • Even better-as he ends the joke, he loses his patience and screams in frustration.

They're still going!

    • The fake movie trailer: "This summer. Damon. In. The Bourne Monotony, Rated PG-13."
    • Obscurus Lupa appears at the start and just stares at him. She warns him off the movie, but is driven away by his condescension.

Oan: [sad] Lupa doesn't like me. Anyway, lets look at Gerry.

    • After a three-minute shot just following a car, it starts to sink in:

Oan: Lupa...? Please come back?

  • From his review of Shortbus, the description of the "Sex Not Bombs" room:

Oancitizen: She's watching numerous people engage in simultaneously pleasurable experiences of a sexual nature.
O RLY? Owl: O RGY?

Oancitizen: YA RGY!

  • From his episode on Sebastiane: This guy apparently learned his oratory skills from Ferris Bueller of Illinoisis.
  • In his W.R.: Mysteries of the Organism review he says that the soundtrack for a sex scene is probably the worst lovemaking soundtrack since John Phillip Sousa. And then promptly shows the scene set to a Sousa march to show how accurate that is. There's just something funny about watching people having sex to Stars and Stripes Forever. And there's a Genius Bonus when you realize that the couple having sex are communists in the former Yugoslavia, so yeah, irony.
  • From the What Is It? review: "Ah, yes, Botticelli's The Birth of R. Crumb."
    • His continued attempts to find the symbolism behind the snails.
    • NAKED NAZI SHIRLEY TEMPLE MASTURBATING WITH A RIDING CROP!
    • The utter madness of the closing sketch.
    • "I can't mock this! I... (look of sudden realization) I can't mock this. I can't mock this! Crispin Glover, you tactical genius!"
  • From the Zardoz review:
    • "It's so tempting to manipulate this image."
    • "Sir Sean Connery, Lover, Fighter, MIME!"
    • Sean Connery is looking for answers:

Zed: I want the truth!
Oan: The truth is something you cannot handle! [beat] I screwed it up. Shit!

    • The end of the review: "How did I miss!?"
    • His reaction to The Reveal that Zed's religion was based on The Wizard of Oz, after listing off increasingly obscure religions and philosophers.

Kyle: The Wizard of... oh, wait- OH! OW!
Zed: The Wizard of Oz. Zardoz.
Kyle: AAAAUGH!
Zed: The Wizard of Oz was a fairy story about an old man that frightened people with a loud voice and big mask.
Kyle: Sean Connery is Dorothy! SEAN CONNERY IS DOROTHY!

"Take this quarter, feed it to me, then do the monkey. That way we can stomp grapes and make wine."

    • Every time he calls back to the notes Roo of the Clan of the Gray Wolf took for him.
    • He brings up how the movie took cue from two styles of anime. The calm kind (showing a calm scene from Spirited Away) and the "what-the-fuck" kind (showing a scene from Garzeys Wing).
    • "Ah, yes, this is what Campbell would've called (the villain suddenly rises from apparent death) - this is what Campbell would've called the 'Jason Voorhees is not dead' moment."
  • From Exterminating Angels:
    • He points out the Nineties synth strings playing over the lesbian 3-way and how they'd sound like something Richard Norton and Cynthia Rothrock would fight to. Cut to... Richard Norton and Cynthia Rothrock fighting, then getting distracted by the lesbian 3-way.
    • FIRE DOWN BELOW!
    • The opening, where he reads a book called "Feminism & Pornography"... and then turns it on the side like he's actually reading a porn magazine.
    • This bit from the beginning:

"It's a terrible stereotype that the French are much hornier than other nations..."

"...but it's a stereotype that has some basis in fact..."

"...French culture is quite open when it comes to sexuality..."

"...they're famously blase when it comes to talking about sex and are more willing to discuss taboos..."

"...at least compared to most Americans."

  • Picture of Oancitizen*

Oancitizen: "Then an OBGYN unicycles into the room and...I just said that sentence out loud, didn't I?"

Oancitizen: *look of rapidly growing madness* "Cannibal Holocaust DIDN'T USE REAL BODIES-" *cut to We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties screen*

    • During a particularly bizarre scene of a naked man acting like a baby while a clothed man straddles him and attempts to do...something, Oancitizen decides to cut to "something more pleasant". Cue footage from Battlefield Earth.
    • His rant at the end towards the other members of That Guy With The Glasses for being sheltered:

You! The Garbage Pail Kids Movie? At least the vomit was fake! You! Showgirls? At least the sex scenes were funny! You! Pocket Ninjas? Robert Z'Dar never got naked in front of those kids! All of you! The Last Airbender? Shyamalan didn't intercut his battle scenes with actual war footage! You! E.T. the Porno? ...well, you've got me there.

  • When witnessing the appearance of some Uncanny Valley animals in his review of "Alice"; he pauses, takes a sip of Listerine, spits it out, then Screams Like a Little Girl.
  • The opening speech to "9 Songs"
    • The fanfare when he finally finds a parallel between the sex scenes and the boyfriend being a glaciologist.
  • His cameos for other characters can apply as well:
    • His measured, well-researched attempt to explain pirates to Sad Panda on "Forget About It: Pirates of the Caribbean."

Sad Panda: Neckties are lame.
Oancitizen: *looks at tie:* Aww...

  • From Naked Lunch:
    • He describes the typewriter being melted and reforged "by the finest Elven smithies into Mugwump, Flame of the West!"
    • "Maybe you oughtta try your hand at writing pornography." "I tried. Nobody liked my Final Fantasy VII Slash Fic. Apparently, people think eating poop is weird."
    • After Roy Scheider "comes out" of Fadilah: "All you people who saw Jaws must be freaking out. And all you people who saw All That Jazz must be shrugging your shoulders."
  • Twilight Of The Ice Nymphs"
    • "BECAUSE! TREES!"
      • That counts as an in-universe CMOF; Kyle literally falls out of his chair laughing.
    • His ostrich voice, and later apologizing for it.
  • The Man Who Fell to Earth:
    • "He's a man from MAAA-oh, God DAMN that's high!"
    • "'Cause heeeeeere is a movie with a message. Soooorry that it's theeeeere. But it has some nudes, so if that does it for you..."
      • Unfortunately, the first sex scenes we see involve Rip Torn. Subtitle: "...I'm so sorry."

Woman: You know, you're not at all like my father.
Oancitizen: (to the tune of "Fame") Pain.

    • When Thomas spaces out while seeing members of his race, Mary-Lou calls out to him. "Tommy? Tommy?" Oancitizen sings "Tommy, Can You Hear Me?" for a few bars before realizing his mistake[2] and abandoning it.
    • "GUN Sex!" This troper almost peed himself laughing.
  • Trash Humpers:
    • PRETENSION NIRVANA
    • He expects one of them to start a 90 minute Star Wars review. "OH MY GOD! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE!"
      • Later on, when a slurring old man appears, he says that he wasted the Mr. Plinkett joke.
    • When he sees a man tell a blatantly homobphobic "joke" that has no real punchline, he tells a "joke" in a similar style that mocks the movie.

So this idiot made a movie about people that society rightly rejected on an old VHS camera, and he sold it, and people think he's some sort of visionary.

  • The Doom Generation:
    • Oancitizen taking his Running Gag involving milk to new heights by "reenacting" the scene where one of the characters jerks off, cums in his hand, then licks it off. He then turns to the camera and says in the most upbeat voice possible, "Scene!"
    • 90's Kid shows up. "Oh God, I forgot you existed."
      • And then Oancitizen sends him away, broken and confused, by claiming that Nirvana was directly responsible for the formation of Nickelback.
    • His cherry response to the first line in the movie (it's Rose McGowan saying Fuck!)
    • "Hello, and welcome to We're-Too-Dumb-Not-To-Wear-Green-In-Front-Of-A-Green-Screen News."
  • Me And You And Everyone We Know:
    • One scene with the two brothers on an internet sex chat drove Oan to play clips of "The Human Spider"
    • After the art curator says that we wouldn't have the Internet without AIDS, Oancitizen goes on a long, detailed explanation of the military and commercial origins of the Internet. He then says, "But, y'know... your explanation works, too."
    • "...I guess my opinion will just oscillate between those two view points. Back and forth. Forever." *cheerful wave* "Byeeeeee!"
    • Describing the film's sudden, out-of-place lines of overly pretentious dialogue as "profundity bombs," complete with whistling and explosion sound effects.
  • The Brown Bunny:
    • Using the driving music from Birdemic in the driving scenes for this film.
    • His growing look of horrific realization when Gallo drives through the salt flats where Gerry was filmed.
    • "He [Gallo] picks one [a prostitute] up and he does terrible, nasty things to her - he buys her a McDonald's lunch, the BASTARD!"
      • (to the tune of Old Susanna) Ha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha-haha, JOKE." With the word "joke" said completely straight-faced and deadpan.
    • Experience BJ!
  • Tideland:
    • "What's that, Mr. Squirrel? What do you mean, 'Chaos reigns'?"
    • His attempt at seeing the movie with the mind of a child, ending in a high pitched WHAT THE FUCK?!?
    • So the moral of this film is 'Children are sociopathic morons'. Good for you!
  • A Serbian Film:
    • His take on The Aristocrats joke, down to subverting the punchline.
    • Just his dumbfounded look at the very beginning of the review.
    • The end. Just the end. After he finishes his review, the rage he's managed to suppress results in him getting a pretty nasty nosebleed before he snaps.
    • "Seriously, I'm evil Ed Glaser."
    • "Haha! His name is Fuckmere!!" in the middle of his plot summary.
    • The Nato guy's deadpan rant: "And you're getting your panties in a bundle just because some angry young Serb went and made a horror film that's actually horrifying, you sheltered little boob."
  • Flesh for Frankenstein:
    • The opening, where he's reading from the original novel but it's pretty clear he's quoting Young Frankenstein. "My grandfather's work was doo-doo!" In fact, the whole review is peppered with Young Frankenstein references, and why the hell not? It's the funniest Frankenstein movie ever.
      • Censoring a pair of breasts with the "nice knockers" scene from Young Frankenstein
      • Also, "Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found yooouuu!!" in the sex scene.
    • The return of the subtitles.
    • Frankenstein gets stabbed in the galbladder. Oan's response? "Quick, fuck it!"
  • Otto Or Up With Dead People
    • The intro. "That's right Romero fans, board up your windows and rev up your chainsaws, because we're going to talk about gay porn".
    • Ba-dum-ching!
  • Oan and Ven Gethenian completely eviscerate the Roland Emmerich film "Anonymous." The review is one long Moment of Funny, as well a Crowning Moment of Awesome. The best and funniest parts of the review are Ven's expressions as Oan describes the utter insanity they saw on screen.
  • Slacker:
  • The ending song for his The Fall review.
  • From Goodbye Twentieth Century:
    • "Also, Kano found Jesus." CHRISTIANITY
    • Everything about the funeral scene. EVERYTHING. From the Steve Jobs joke (complete with victory pose and Too Soon disclaimer) to the EPIC Non Sequitur Scene that occurs shortly afterwards. The utterly dumbfounded look on Kyle's face doesn't even begin to describe it.
    • Kyle's "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer about when he saw the film for the first time.

"True story: when I first saw this film, I tweeted what I saw, and someone on Twitter responded, 'Are you reading aloud from a Troll Fic?'"

"What am I doing with my hips?!"

  • The Dork Ages: My Eighth Grade History Project (done in the style of Pop-up Video)

I think this girl agreed to help me with this project out of pity.
She has since gone on to found a non-profit organization that supports girl's soccer in South Africa.
I have since gone on to squirt corn syrup up my nose, hump a trash can and scream "fuck" on the internet.
I have made good life decisions.

Oan: Oh, right, yes. And what do you do?
Rap Critic: [stares]

    • whilst eating a bowl of popcorn: "Holy sh- this is still art, right?"
    • Condensing his analysis of the film into rap over an instrumental of Wu-Tang Clan's "C.R.E.A.M.".
    • "Which is totally an apt analogy, and not just a lame excuse to name-drop Monet like the stuck-up douche that I am."
  • A bit of an older review, but The Discovery of Heaven has a few of these.
    • "And we have a title!"
    • Pointing out how strange it is for Communists to play Bach at a rally.
    • Stephen Fry proves that among his many talents... he can't dance.
    • "Heaven falls into panic because... an actual discovery of Heaven may restore faith in God... Which they don't want for some reason... This might have been better explained in the book."
    • The running gag of showing Stephen Fry's Twitter page was already great, but the best use of it has to be:

How did you know I was in Rome?
(Cut to Twitter page) ZOMG I found a gelato place with a view of the Colosseum! Rome = win!]

Better than that. Pfft. Nerds.

  • From Shakespeare, Film, and Kenneth Branagh, - A Retrospective: "It says I'm supposed to poison him? That's boring-EAT CHANDELIER, BITCH!"
    • "IT SURE AS HELL WASN'T SPAIN!"
    • "Oh, my God, Emma Thompson, be my bride! Oh, excuse me..."
  • On his Twitter feed, he asked fans to tell him their ideas for Reality TV shows. Just take a look at his feed, as it appeared shortly afterwards.
  • Kyle's review of Eraserhead. Who would ever think that someone could get so angry over An April Fools' Day joke featuring poorly-shot footage of pencils, sharpeners and Chicken Mc Nuggets.
  1. ↑ Yes, he's a Frenchman with the last name 'Frog'. Go with it.
  2. ↑ "Can You Hear Me" is completely different
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