Badass of the Week


"....so if you give a crap feel free to check back in next week to satisfy your insatiable desire to read about grown people punching each other in the mouth or beating each other about the head and neck in a most furious manner."

Badass of the Week (warning! NSFW!) is a website created by "Amazing Ben Thompson" in 2004, that exists primarily to provide weekly profiles of many and sundry badasses. The various badasses covered range from fictional characters such as Darth Vader, the Punisher, and Kefka to Real Life badasses such as Simo Häyhä, Saladin, and Steve Irwin, to the outright bizarre, such as this huge-ass beetle, Australia, the S&W .500 Magnum, and the AGGRO CRAG (aka the AGGRESSIVE ROCK). The exact criteria for badassery vary, ranging from individual acts of ordinary heroism to face-melting acts of blind bravery and violence. Of course, being a face-crushing, scrotum stomping killing machine isn't required for inclusion, as the Manly Tears-inducing article on Paul Rusesabagina proves.

Part of the humor of the site comes from its surprising historical accuracy used in conjunction with references to various historical figures in vulgar, irreverent language. An example of the former regarding the great Sikh hero Baba Deep Singh:

This crazy-ass bastard is one of the most hardcore freedom fighters to ever live, and a dude so extreme balls-out in his insatiable quest for vengeance that something as inconsequentially-trivial as being fucking decapitated couldn't stop him from crushing his enemies to death with his nutsack.

Another example is the Japanese warrior monk Saito Musashibo Benkei:

Benkei went out to the drawbridge leading towards the castle, clenched his naginata in his fists, and dared the army on the other side to fucking fuck with him. A couple punk-ass bitches thought they wanted a piece of SMB, but Benkei slapped the fail out of them with the blunt end of his bladed axe, knocking their brains out and sending crumpled remains splashing into the moat.

Or Saint Michael the Archangel:

So one day God and everybody are chilling out and this fucking insane-o motherfucking demon busts through the pearly gates ready to kick fucking asses and making the lesser angels (the fat kids and Victoria Secret models) piss themselves.

Holy shit everybody thinks they're totally fucked because look at this motherfucker. He's a fucking huge red monster with gleaming talons and spikes covering one-third of his body and glowing eyes and he looks PISSED. But instead of handing over St. Peter's keys like some kind of two-dollar pussy carjacking victim, God takes one look at this thing and is just like, "Mike, show this fucking douchebag the door". The Archangel Michael calmly nods his head, slowly takes the cigarette out of his mouth and flicks it onto the floor, cracks his knuckles and confidently strides towards Lucifer.

The site also includes a fan mail section and a series of random articles the site's writer decided to throw in, such as why you need to convert to Norse religion, and how to go about this.

Also, Ben recently wrote a book celebrating his love of scrotum crushing badasses, called BADASS: The Book, and is recommended reading for anyone who just can't get enough of of those who Dare to Be Badass!

Also, BADASS: The Book now has BADASS: The Book: the Trailer.

Tropes exhibited THAT PUNCH YOU IN THE SCROTUM by this site include:

This is the first thing that pops up when you run a Google Image Search for "space babes", but, honestly, this weird alien space eyeball tentacle-monster also happens to be a good visual representation of Commander Shepherd's military career – drifting around in outer space groping a hot babe with his appendages while random dudes shoot him in the face with rockets at close range without doing any noticeable damage.

Basically, Wolverine is what you would get if you combined a hockey enforcer, a rabid animal, and a wood chipper.

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