A Cure for Love

A Cure For Love by halfpromise is a Death Note L/Light fanfic which begins when Light and L fall in love during the Yotsuba arc and Light's master plan is derailed when an assassin steals the Death Note. The threat of Kira is dwarfed when Kira's powers seem to have fallen into the hands of a terrorist organization known as Astraea and Light and L are united to find the culprit-but for how long...

Tropes used in A Cure for Love include:

Matt: She called him 'Kira-sama' today. She looked like someone had shoved some dog shit down her throat as she said it, but she said it all the same.

Light: OK, 5 across. Dunderhead, 7 letters...
L: Matsuda.
Light: Ha. Not funny. I think it's...Ryuzaki...no, sorry, my mistake, it must be halfwit.
L: The answer is always the obvious one, Light-kun. I think you're making a mistake.
Light: Right and down...
L: Is that an offer or are you asking? This is a ridiculous crossword. Have we two, apparently the greatest minds of our age, really been reduced to doing a quick crossword?
Light: It's the best we have. Stop being a child.
L: Do you like the crossword more than me?
Light: It talks less.
L: And afterwards you can wipe your arse with it.
Light: You're speaking in English again.
L: I thought that you liked it when I talked.
Light: No, that's a misunderstanding on your part.

L (to Light): Did you forget where the light switch was or are you endeavouring to save on our carbon footprint?

Matt: I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't you.

Light: "It was a boring story, sorry if you were expecting some deep and meaningful tale of woe. My childhood was fairly uneventful. I suppose I get hung up on innocuous things which you don't want to hear about."

Light: I am sorry though. Really. I think I was confused.
L: You were confused?
Light: Hmm.
L: But you're not anymore.
Light: No. Well, a little. Mostly embarrassed and... maybe I should see a psychiatrist?

L: Do I really have that effect?

Light: No!

L: Look, we'll forget about it. These things happen, I'm sure. I've read accounts of soldiers in the Belgian Congo being taken unaware by... waking up in the night and hormones and bad things.

Light: You have? Soldiers in the Belgian Congo?

L: They're very manly.

Light: They must be.

L: And the Spartans. Remember the Spartans.

Sometime ago, Matsuda had left a post-it on one of the laptops in which he'd accidentally managed to wedge a biro into the CD drive in an attempt to extricate something.
"Pen is stuck in drive"
Only the 'pen' and 'is' were written too close together. L now had a 'penis stuck in drive' post-it stuck on his laptop screen. He was considering framing it.

Near: You snore.

    • The content of Light's drunken ramblings was apparently quite disturbing as Near relates this to L by way of Mello:

Mello (to L): I get the impression that he's going dig up the grave and crack open your coffin like some fucked up Heathcliff.

  • Irony: Mr. Yagami thinks L is corrupting Light.
    • When Light is mocking Near by trying to guess what the N stands for he unknowingly guesses his real name (or at least something close to it).
    • Also:

Matt (to Light): You're socially a bit awkward, y'know?

L: Light Yagami is dead and there's nothing I can do to help him now.

Mello: You can't blame yourself, L. He's in a better place.

L: Pffff... Yes. He certainly is.

Light: You're not trying to do something stupid are you?

L: I'm not doing anything stupid, Light. Apart from speaking to you.

Light: Good, because I would hate to kill you.

L: Mmm... I'm sure you would.

Sayu: I guess I'm frightened. And angry. Kira killed my family, not just Dad and Light. He killed all of us. And I have no time for L and his 'investigation.' If it wasn't for him then they'd still be alive. But then, Dad and Light believed in him. They thought he'd defeat Kira. I'm angry at him because, well, you expect this from Kira; killing is what he does. But L has betrayed my family.

    • And:

L (to Mello): Kira is vengeance. Selfish vengeance. You're just two people who have thrown their toys out of their cot because they feel injured. Kira is angry at the world as he saw it and you're angry at him.

Mello: I'm nothing like Kira.

L: No, you're the same. Same motivation, different scale of destruction.

Matt: I know you're Kira or whatever... this is me impressed. Doesn't change the fact that if you start any funny business with her, I'll shoot you through the fucking wall. I'm quicker than you and your little Diary of Death. OK?

    • Also:

Light: It was you, wasn't it? You fucking tried to kill him!
V: I'm sorry, Light.
Light: Not going to cut it, V. I thought that you didn't want to kill L.
V: I don't.
Light: If you touch him, I'll kill you. I'll kill all of you.

Light: I wonder what N stands for... 'Nobody', 'Notus', 'Nomad', 'Nincompoop', 'Norman', 'Nemo', 'Neo'... 'Norris', 'Nathaniel', 'Noah', 'Ned', 'Nando', 'Napoleon', 'Nelson', 'Nickelodeon', 'Nicodemus'...

L: Near... It stands for Near, Light. Remember it. I'm glad that you're showing an interest though, for I never expected any less of you. However, I am most insulted on his behalf that you think that he could be named after a lost fish or Keanu Reeves.

  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: L does this indirectly when he asks Light's help to figure out what a criminal is going to do next and then gives Light his own psych file to read.
  • Replacement Love Interest: There seems to be a bit of tension between Mello and Near. Also Light was considering screwing Mikami.
  • The Revolution Will Not Be Civilized: Astraea. Later when L begins La Résistance under Kira's rule Mello sees a simple solution to the Kira problem- he proposes that they find Kira and blow his head off. L notes that it's perfectly practical plan... but he has no intention of doing it.
  • The Runaway: Mello and Matt from Wammy's House. Light too, sort of, from L and his family. He's fleeing L having him committed but he has a place to go- he takes control of Astraea and then takes over the world.
  • Sanity Slippage: Light becomes more and more batshit as he's torn between his duties as Kira and his love and loyalty for L. It Got Worse:

"There was a tree which grew out of a wall below Light's window. It looked like it was bursting through but was probably holding the whole sorry mess together at the same time. It twisted like a cobra. Violent attempts to kill it, the blunt sliced ends to thick trunks just led to many children; thinner branches crawling upwards. It refuses to die. In the summer it had purple flowers."

    • Light's heavy notebook usage and his new drug addiction isn't helping. Also L has this for a while too after Watari dies until he gets Bored with Insanity later. It's also revealed that L's "insanity" was being caused by Light drugging him.
  • Sarcastic Devotee: Matt to Astraea.
  • Save the Villain: L keeps doing this for Light.
  • Selective Obliviousness: At first Mello REFUSES to believe Near's theory—that L lied to him and that Light Yagami is Kira.
  • Serial Killer Killer: Light and Misa of course and V. She was already damaged when Wammys house got a hold of her and decided what with her Sociopathic tendencies she was beyond saving so it would be more productive to just make her a more effective assassin.
  • Sex Face Turn: When Kira returns, Light is much more reluctant to kill L now that they've been sleeping together.
  • Sherlock Scan: Near deduces the following about Kira from speaking with Light on the phone:

Near: Kira, if it was Kira, sounded like a Japanese male in his late teens to early twenties... Slim build. He was probably wearing a suit since he was definitely wearing a tie. Irritable.

"...any therapy would likely further enable his abilities to manipulate others. His intelligence and superficial charm, combined with his pathologic egocentricity and internalised morality, make him a dangerous individual deserving of clinical management and incarceration. He is driven by some, as yet, undefined goal. Kira's targeting of criminals gives a certain mask of sanity and 'goodness' in terms of his reasoning, but, due to his narcissism and deep-rooted antipathy, I doubt that they are exclusively or will remain his true aim of attack. At this point in time I would score him high for the Factor 1 scale of emotional psychopathy on the PCL-R, though his neurosis are not fully incapsulated within those criteria. He appears, at times, to show feelings of strong empathy, despite his apparent incapability to love." Light slammed the folder and the words shut. "What a load of utter rubbish. I don't care. Really. I couldn't give a flying fuck."

L: It must have quite distressing to come home and find your family murdered only to watch the perpetrator evade justice... However, considering that psychological trauma, she is most definitely and unsurprisingly unbalanced. She exhibits signs of erotomania in relation to you, Light-kun.
Light: I wouldn't go that far... It's a crush. I can handle it.
L: Yes, by avoidance. I dealt with a case where the victim handled it in the same way as you're doing. Didn't end well.
Light: They died?
L: No, but 56 other people did when their stalker decided that their deaths would be an appropriate tribute.
Light: Oh, that's comforting.

Light: I'm not gay.
L: Oh, my apologies, I forgot that you're the sexual scourge of womankind. You obviously only have sex with me because you roll over in your sleep and misjudge the distance. Maybe you're sleepwalking... or maybe the term, 'sleepfucking', would be more appropriate. Maybe you're completely unaware of what you're doing.
Light: It happens.

Matt: He's always prissy, sitting at his desk like, 'I'm the king of you' to everyone and then Kira prances in and ol' Miki's literally throwing himself on the ground all, 'Take me up the arse, oh mighty one.' Bloody eejit.

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