Judaism and sexuality

Jewish traditions across different eras and regions devote considerable attention to sexuality.[1][2] Sexuality is the subject of many narratives and laws in the Tanakh (Hebrew Bible) and rabbinic literature.

In Judaism, sexuality is viewed as having both positive and negative potential, depending on the context in which it is expressed. Many sources express a positive attitude towards sex between a married couple. On the other hand, sexual activity is also viewed as a grave sin if it is outside of the bounds of permissible behavior.

Attitudes towards sexuality within a marriage

Laws and Biblical sources

According to medieval Rabbinical enumerations of the 613 commandments, the commandment to procreate (Genesis 1:28) is the first mitzvah in the Torah.[3] This commandment was understood by the rabbis to be only binding on men; women are exempt because childbirth puts them in physical danger.[4] According to the Sefer haChinnuch, the central nature of this mitzvah is due to the fact that God desires for the world to be populated.[3]

There is another Torah commandment known as onah which obligates a man to provide sexual intercourse to his wife on a regular basis (if she desires it), even if they have already had children, or are incapable of having children.[5][6]

Deuteronomy 24:5 requires a man who has been married within the last year to "gladden" his wife at home, rather than joining the army to fight in a war which is ongoing. In later Jewish tradition, this is understood as a general requirement for every husband to stay at home with his wife for the first year of marriage, and for them to "rejoice" together.[7]

Maimonides permits a married couple to engage in nearly any form of sexual activity:

A man's wife is permitted to him. Therefore, a man may do whatever he desires with his wife. He may engage in relations whenever he desires, kiss any organ he desires, engage in vaginal or other intercourse, or engage in physical intimacy without relations, provided he does not release seed in vain.[8]

It is recommended that husband and wife have sex on Shabbat, as this is considered part of the Shabbat delight.[9]

Any emission of semen by a man makes him ritually impure, and if this occurs during sex with a woman, she too becomes ritually impure. However, there is no prohibition on becoming ritually impure, and no consequence to ritual impurity except the inability to visit the Temple in Jerusalem or touch certain sanctified objects (neither of which is necessary in the course of normal life).[10]

Acceptance of the value of sex in a marriage

In the Talmud and other classical rabbinic texts, "there is no revulsion from [lustful] pleasure nor recoil from romantic passion."[11] One passage suggests that sexual relations are one of three activities which are "a taste of the world to come".[12] Elsewhere, the Talmud criticizes one who sleeps in the same room as a husband and wife, preventing them from having sex that night.[13] Rabbi Meir stated that the purpose of niddah laws is so that, upon the couple's resumption of sexual activity, "she should be as desirable to her husband as when she entered the marriage canopy."[14]

In one story in the Talmud, while Rav was having sex with his wife, his student Rav Kahana hid underneath the bed. Rav scolded Kahana for this behavior, but Kahana countered that sex is part of the Torah, and therefore he must learn about it from his teacher.[15]

While sexual lust is categorized as a form of "evil inclination" (yetzer hara), the rabbis recognized its necessity as a motivator of procreation, and thus described it as "very good" in one source.[16]

According to Iggeret HaKodesh ("The Holy Letter", a 12th century work sometimes mistakenly attributed to Nahmanides[17]), a man should arouse his wife during sex, and even that he should ensure that she achieves orgasm before he does. He also says: "But we who have the Torah and believe that God created all in His wisdom [do not believe God] created anything inherently ugly or unseemly. If we were to say that intercourse is repulsive, then we blaspheme God who made the genitals".

Some medieval rabbis even allowed forms of contraception (which otherwise might be forbidden) so that couples could engage in sex for pleasure.[18]

Ascetic views

Despite the general acceptance of sexuality in marriage as described above, some sources advocate that especially pious people should minimize their engagement in sex.

According to rabbinic sources, Moses was physically separate from his wife Tzipporah while he fulfilled his role as prophet and leader of the Jewish people. This has been understood in various ways. According to one view, ritual purity is a precondition for prophecy, and Moses avoided sex to ensure he was ritually pure and able to receive prophecy at any moment. According to Maimonides, though, sexual pleasure is a kind of trivial distraction which is incompatible with the intellectual focus needed for prophecy.[19]

Maimonides permits a married couple to engage in nearly any form of sexual activity, but praises one who limits sexual activity to the minimum necessary:

A man's wife is permitted to him. Therefore, a man may do whatever he desires with his wife... Nevertheless, it is pious conduct for a person not to act frivolously concerning such matters, and to sanctify himself at the time of relations, as explained in Hilchot Deot. He should not depart from the ordinary pattern of the world. For this act was [given to us] solely for the sake of procreation... Our Sages do not derive satisfaction from a person who engages in sexual relations excessively and frequents his wife like a rooster. This reflects a very blemished [character]; it is the way underdeveloped people conduct themselves. Instead, everyone who minimizes his sexual conduct is praiseworthy, provided he does not neglect his conjugal duties, without the consent of his wife.[8]

Nahmanides went further, writing that "sexual relations are remote and disgusting according to the Torah, except for the perpetuation of the human species".[20]

According to Raabad, there are four permitted "kavvanot" (intentions) for a man's sexual relations which receive Divine reward: for procreation, for welfare of the fetus, to fulfill a wife’s desire, and that he relieves his lust through intercourse with his wife rather than in a forbidden manner. Yet the last one is a lesser reward, since the man should have had the strength to resist. If he does not show any strength, and has sex anytime he wants, this would not be rewarded.[21]

Forbidden sexual acts in Judaism

Isurei bi'ah
Main article: Forbidden relationships in Judaism

The term isurei bi'ah (Hebrew איסורי ביאה) refers to those one may not have intercourse with. The most serious of these form a subset known as arayot (Hebrew: עריות‎), based on the word erva ("nakedness") in Leviticus 18:6. Intercourse with arayot is one of the few acts in Judaism which one may not perform even to save one's life. The term erva is also used to describe parts of a female considered to be immodest and sexually provocative including a woman's hair, thighs, and singing voice.

Arayot include:

Other isurei bi'ah include:

  • Sexual intercourse between Jews and Gentiles
  • Divorcees or female converts with Kohanim (priests)
  • Mamzerim (offspring of adulterous unions) with regular Jews

Homosexuality and bisexuality
Main article: Homosexuality and Judaism

The traditional view is that the Torah forbids anal intercourse between two males, and this is the view of Orthodoxy, based on Leviticus 18:22: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination." However, Rashi interpreted the matter as only prohibiting anal sexual acts between two men (and not other sexual acts between them), as he stated: "As one would penetrate a blue-brush into a receiver." But other authoritative commentators of the Torah see all sexual acts between two males to be included within the ban on "sperm in vain", which is a separate prohibition that is not limited to intercourse and which includes masturbation. The Jewish sages added additional barriers to this ban, and forbid males to put themselves in any situation that might lead to such an offense. For example: some sources prohibited two single males from sleeping under the same blanket.[23]

Some medieval Jewish authors wrote fiction and poetry which portrayed homosexual love positively,[24][25] though often these are adoptions of a style found in contemporary Arabic poetry, unlikely to be based on real-life love affairs.[26]

In Liberal Judaism (United Kingdom) homosexual relationships are considered acceptable,[27] and weddings are conducted for same-sex couples.[28]

There is no ban on female-female intercourse in the Hebrew Bible, but in later rabbinical halakhic texts, such is mentioned as a forbidden act.[29]

Extramarital sex

In Judaism, extramarital sex is universally frowned upon; according to some authorities, it even falls under a biblical prohibition. The written Torah never forbids sex outside the context of marriage, with the exception of adultery[30][31] and incest.[31] According to Exodus 22:15-16, the man who entices[32] a single woman to have sex must marry her afterwards, unless her father refuses to allow him. Still, extramarital sex is forbidden in rabbinical Judaism.[33]

Masturbation
Main article: Judaism and masturbation

Despite not having been explicitly prohibited in the Torah,[34][35][36][37] the Halakha and the Oral Torah view male masturbation as an Halakhic prohibition and a great sin.[38] The attitude towards a male sperm is one of a potential future living human being, and thus, masturbation is referred to as similar to murder, in that the masturbator is exterminating his potential offspring.

Female masturbation is also prohibited, although it is considered a lesser sin than male masturbation.

In modern days, the Halakhic question on whether taking male semen for the purpose of medical examinations or insemination remains in dispute among Jewish legal authorities.[39]

Many Ashkenazi authorities allowed for a married man to occasionally ejaculate outside his wife's body as part of their sexual relations together.[40]

Sexual fantasy and pornography
See also: Technology Awareness Group, Atzat Nefesh, and Religious views on pornography § Judaism

The halakhic literature discusses the prohibitions of hirhur (lit. thought) and histaklut (lit. gazing). Many of the practices of tzniut (modesty) serve to prevent these prohibitions from occurring.

Sexual practices and culture

The Talmud says that a man cannot force his wife into having sex.[41] The Talmud also claims that rebellious children will come from people who conceive a child in certain ways, including if a women has sex out of fear of her husband, if either one is drunk, and if a woman is raped, along with other examples.[42]

gollark: I would be annoyed by that, since it's supposed to just tell me the time when I look at it.
gollark: Ah, they just said "multiple days".
gollark: Which is kind of a must-have for me.
gollark: I'm not sure if that includes actually having the display be on, though.
gollark: They say 5 days or so with good software.

See also

References
  1. Baskin, Judith R. (2010). "Jewish Private Life: Gender, Marriage, and the Lives of Women". In Baskin, Judith R; Seeskin, Kenneth (eds.). The Cambridge Guide to Jewish History, Religion, and Culture. The Cambridge Guide to Jewish History, Religion, and Culture. pp. 357–380. doi:10.1017/cbo9780511780899.016. ISBN 9780511780899. Retrieved 2019-02-14.
  2. Seidman, Naomi. "Carnal Knowledge: Sex and the Body in Jewish Studies." Jewish Social Studies. New Series, Vol. 1, No. 1 (Autumn, 1994), pp. 115-146.
  3. See Sefer haChinuch (Jerusalem: Rav Kook Institute, 1990), p. 55.
  4. Mishnah Yevamot 6:6 (though a dissenting opinion is recorded there); Mishneh Torah Hilchot Ishut 15:2
  5. "Ba'alei Ha-Nefesh | Jewish Women's Archive". jwa.org. Retrieved 2019-02-28.
  6. מצוות עונה – חובת הבעל כלפי אשתו
  7. טבלת המצוות המלאה
  8. Mishneh Torah, Issurei Biah, 21:9,11
  9. Mishneh Torah, Hilkhot Shabbat 30:14
  10. Leviticus 15:16-18; see also Tumah and taharah
  11. Aharon Lichtenstein, "Of Marriage: Relationship and Relations"
  12. Brachot 57b
  13. Eruvin 63b
  14. Niddah 31b
  15. Babylonian Talmud, Berakhot 62a
  16. Genesis Rabbah 9:7; see also Yoma 69b
  17. Iggeret Ha-Kodesh
  18. Assis, Yom Tov (1988). "Sexual behaviour in mediaeval Hispano-Jewish society". Jewish history: essays in honour of Chimen Abramsky. Halban. pp. 25–59. ISBN 9781870015196.
  19. Moshe Leaves His Wife and the Nature of Prophecy
  20. Nahmanides, commentary to Leviticus 18:6
  21. Raavad, Baalei Hanefesh, Shaar Hakedushah
  22. Leviticus 18
  24. 1949-, Biale, David (1997). Eros and the Jews : from biblical Israel to contemporary America. Berkeley: University of California Press. ISBN 978-0520211346. OCLC 36681737.CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)
  25. Decter, Jonathan (September 2011). "A Hebrew "sodomite" tale from thirteenth-century Toledo: Jacob Ben El'azar's story of Sapir, Shapir, and Birsha". Journal of Medieval Iberian Studies. 3 (2): 187–202. doi:10.1080/17546559.2011.610176. ISSN 1754-6559.
  26. Raymond P. Scheindlin, "A Miniature Anthology of Medieval Hebrew Love Poems", Prooftexts, Vol. 5, No. 2 (MAY 1985), pp. 105-135
  27. BBC Religions, "Liberal Judaism"
  28. Benjamin Cohen, "Liberal Judaism launches gay marriage ceremonies in Britain", Pink News 25 Nov 2005
  29. Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, Book of Kedushah, Issurei Biah, 21:8; "Issurey Bi'ah - Perek 21 - איסורי ביאה - פרק כא". www.chabad.org.
  30. 5 Questions with Professor Michael D. Coogan Archived 2011-09-19 at the Wayback Machine The Summit, October 19, 2010. New URL: http://admin2.collegepublisher.com/se/the-summit/opinion/5-questions-with-professor-michael-d-coogan-1.1716380 . Quote: "In ancient Israel, premarital sex by a woman was discouraged because in the patriarchal society of that time, a daughter was her father's property. If she was not a virgin, her value--the bride price her father would get from a prospective husband--was diminished. Also, any child born to an unmarried woman would be fatherless--the Biblical term is "orphan"-- and so, without either a male protector or any possibility of an inheritance, which was passed from father to son. There is no explicit prohibition in the Old Testament of premarital or extramarital sex by men, except for adultery, which meant having sex with another man's wife."
  31. "Traditional Sources on Sex Outside Marriage - My Jewish Learning".
  32. "Strong's Number 6601 Hebrew Dictionary of the Old Testament Online Bible with Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, Brown Driver Briggs Lexicon, Etymology, Translations Definitions Meanings & Key Word Studies - Lexiconcordance.com". lexiconcordance.com.
  33. Broyde, Michael J. (22 August 2005). Marriage, Sex and Family in Judaism. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. p. 96. ISBN 978-1-4616-3996-1.
  34. Maimonides stated that the Tanakh does not explicitly prohibit masturbation, see Maimonides, Commentary to the Mishnah, Sanhedrin 7:4, apud Dorff, Elliot N. (2003) [1998]. "Chapter Five. Preventing Pregnancy". Matters of life and death : a Jewish approach to modern medical ethics (First paperback ed.). Philadelphia, PA: Jewish Publication Society. p. 117. ISBN 978-0827607682. OCLC 80557192. Jews historically shared the abhorrence of male masturbation that characterized other societies.2 Although the prohibition was not debated, legal writers had difficulty locating a biblical base for it, and no less an authority than Maimonides claimed that it could not be punishable by the court because there was not an explicit negative commandment forbidding it.3
  35. Patton, Michael S. (June 1985). "Masturbation from Judaism to Victorianism". Journal of Religion and Health. 24 (2): 133–146. doi:10.1007/BF01532257. ISSN 0022-4197. PMID 24306073. Nevertheless, there is no legislation in the Bible pertaining to masturbation.
  36. Kwee, Alex W.; David C. Hoover (2008). "Theologically-Informed Education about Masturbation: A Male Sexual Health Perspective" (PDF). Journal of Psychology and Theology. 36 (4): 258–269. doi:10.1177/009164710803600402. ISSN 0091-6471. Retrieved 12 November 2011. The Bible presents no clear theological ethic on masturbation, leaving many young unmarried Christians with confusion and guilt around their sexuality.
  37. Williams, Daniel K. (2013). "5. Sex and the Evangelicals: Gender Issues, the Sexual Revolution, and Abortion in the 1960s". In Schäfer, Axel R. (ed.). American Evangelicals and the 1960s. Madison, Wisconsin: University of Wisconsin Press. p. 104. ISBN 978-0-299-29363-5. OCLC 811239040. The leading evangelical sex advice books of the late 1940s had contained strong warnings against masturbation, placing it in the same category of such sexual sins as homosexuality and prostitution. Even in the early 1960s, some evangelical sexual advice books for teens still contained warnings about masturbation, but by the end of the decade, those warnings had disappeared, because evangelicals who noticed that the Bible said nothing directly about masturbation believed that they had made a mistake to proscribe it.19
  38. Babylonian Talmud, Niddah 13a-b
  39. The Use of Cryopreserved Sperm and Pre-embryos In Contemporary Jewish Law and Ethics
  40. אין הלכה כיוחנן בן דהבאי
  41. "Eruvin 100b:14". www.sefaria.org. Retrieved 2019-03-17.
  42. "Nedarim 20b". www.sefaria.org. Retrieved 2019-03-17.

Further reading
  • Rabbi Lisa J. Grushcow, The Sacred Encounter: Jewish Perspectives on Sexuality, CCAR Press, 2014, ISBN 9780881232035.
  • Seymour Hoffman, Standards of Sexual Modesty, Gender Separation and Homosexuality: Rabbinic and Psychological Views, Mondial, 2020, ISBN 9781595694010.
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