Crossing Swords

Crossing Swords is an American adult animated stop-motion sitcom created by John Harvatine IV and Tom Root for Hulu. The series premiered on June 12, 2020 and was renewed for a second season six days after its premiere.[1]

Crossing Swords
Genre
Created by
Voices of
Composer(s)Randall Crissman
Country of originUnited States
Original language(s)English
No. of seasons1
No. of episodes10 (list of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s)
Producer(s)Mario De Jesus
CinematographyHelder K. Sun
Editor(s)Clayton Baker
Running time22 minutes
Production company(s)
DistributorSony Pictures Television
Release
Original networkHulu
Original releaseJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12) –
present (present)

Premise

Crossing Swords follows "Patrick, a goodhearted peasant who lands a coveted squire position at the royal castle. His dream job quickly turns into a nightmare when he learns his beloved kingdom is run by a hornet's nest of horny monarchs, crooks and charlatans. Even worse, Patrick's valor made him the black sheep in his family, and now his criminal siblings have returned to make his life hell. War, murder, full frontal nudity—who knew brightly colored peg people led such exciting lives?"[2]

Cast and characters

Main
  • Nicholas Hoult as Patrick; the King's new squire and brother of Coral, Blarney and Ruben as well as Sloane's love interest.
  • Luke Evans as King Merriman; Queen Tulip's husband.
  • Alanna Ubach as Queen Tulip; Merriman's wife.
  • Adam Pally as Broth; Patrick's best friend.
  • Tara Strong as Coral; Patrick, Blarney and Ruben's pirate sister.
    • Strong also voices Trina Franklin; a plucky peasant girl.
  • Tony Hale as Blarney; Patrick, Coral and Ruben's clown brother.
  • Adam Ray as Ruben; Patrick, Coral and Blarney's rogue brother.
  • Seth Green as Blinkerquartz; the Castle's Wizard.
  • Breckin Meyer as Glenn; Patrick, Coral, Blarney and Ruben's father.
  • Wendi McLendon-Covey as Doreen; Patrick, Coral, Blarney and Ruben's mother.

Recurring
  • Yvette Nicole Brown as Sgt. Meghan; trainer of the knights.
  • Maya Erskine as Princess Blossom; Merriman and Tulip's daughter.
  • Ben Schwartz as Keefer; Blossom's boyfriend.
  • Rob Corddry as The Old King; Merriman's insane father whom he dethroned.[3]
  • Jameela Jamil as Sloane, a maid in the castle and Patrick's love interest. She is revealed to Danielle, the daughter of Donna, in the episode "Unchained Monarchy".

Guest

Episodes
No.TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal release date
1"Pilot"John Harvatine IVJohn Harvatine IV & Tom RootJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
Patrick is a peasant who does not get along with his older siblings; Coral, a notorious pirate queen, Blarney, a successful clown, and Ruben, a dashing rogue. Patrick yearns to be a knight, though his parents look down on his dreams. He enters a jousting tournament held by the raucous King Merriman. Patrick befriends the optimistic Broth who has failed eight years in a row and quickly forms a rivalry with a knight named Holden. During the various missions, Patrick begins to remember things from his childhood to help him succeed. Retracting his genitals to battle low blowing knights, rooting out a trick from the magician Blinkerquartz and lying to a sexually active Queen Tulip (who accepts his straightforward rejection of sex). When Patrick realizes that everyone is cheating, he gets fed up and defeats Holden before calling everyone out on their morals. Merriman accepts him as his squire nonetheless and Patrick returns home to see his siblings have returned who mockingly tell him that they are in his life forever.
2"Hot Tub Death Machine"John Harvatine IVTom RootJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
On the squires' first training with Sgt. Meghan, Patrick refuses to kill and eat fairies and is hazed. King Merriman asks Patrick for advice on how to bring his polls up and inadvertently gives him the idea of holding a public execution using a complicated machine. The squires, minus Patrick, are taken to Naked Lady Island by Meghan, only to find out that it is a training exercise to fight a Medusa. Ruben and Coral learn of the execution and try to have their names be offered up as a way of getting recognition. Patrick is forced to pick a criminal to be executed all while being mocked by a still living fairy named Sprinkles. Patrick eventually settles on executing a prisoner named Charles Reinhold, only for him to be revealed to be Robin Hood who has given money to all the peasants. The execution machine is activated and Robin Hood is graphically killed. Sprinkles is killed as well, but not before revealing that he sold out his kind. Merriman's polls rise out of fear and the squires return traumatized, minus Broth who was turned on by the Medusa.
3"What's Kraken?"John Harvatine IVSean LaveryJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
4"In the Line of Squire"John Harvatine IVAmy ReedJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
Patrick, Broth, King Merriman, and Blinkerquartz uncover an assassin who is targeting high profile lords and ladies in the kingdom. Princess Blossom has returned from boarding school. She wants to attend the Beast Feast music festival. King Merriman and Queen Tulip, fearing for her safety forbid her from going and put Patrick in charge of her safety. Princess Blossom escapes from her room to go to the music festival. Patrick and Broth follow her to protect her. Princess Blossom falls in love with Keefer, the lead musician of Testa-Kyll. Blossom gets ready to attend Keefer's headlining performance in the evening. The assassin attempts to kill her while she is getting ready. Fortunately, Patrick is there to foil the attempt without Blossom even being aware. Unfortunately her tent is ruined in the turmoil and she blames Patrick. Angrily, Blossom heads off to the concert and Patrick follows, wary of the assassin still. At the concert, Blossom is invited onto the stage to perform with Keefer. While on stage the assassin fires a crossbow bolt at her. Luckily, Patrick is there to jump in the way and foil the attempt once more. Blossom is thankful. Unfortunately, while all this was going on, Keefer stumbles into the haunted iron maiden prop on stage and is killed.
5"Let Them Eat Clown"John Harvatine IVSean Lavery, Maggie Monahan & Amy ReedJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
6"My Super Sweet Period Party"John Harvatine IVMaggie MonahanJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
Princess Blossom causes some trouble at a bonfire with some of her friends. Blossom returns to the castle, and it is discovered that she is having her first period. Her parents want to throw her a period party. She meets up with the ghost of Keefer to make out. At their makeout spot she meets an imprisonned Aunt Donna who tells her that at the period party she will be given a chastity belt or be locked up in a tower for refusing. Blossom wants to lose her virginity to Keefer before this happens. Aunt Donna reveals that there is a way to bring Keefer back to life for an hour. The information can be obtained in the restricted section of the library. Meanwhile Holden has returned to join the other squires. It is revealed that there will be circumcision inspection for the squired to pass. Patrick is not circumcised so he sets about finding a way to remedy that. Patrick and Blossom end up meeting each other in the library and Patrick decides to help Blossom. They obtain the ingredients for the ritual and return to Aunt Donna. They perform the ritual but Aunt Donna betrays them and uses it to revive her doll instead. They decide to gather the ingredients again and try again. Patrick fails to find snakeskin for the ritual. He decides to circumcise himself and use that in place of the snakeskin. It works. Keefer comes back to life and Blossom and Keefer have sex. Queen Tulip then reveals that she has always had a spare key for the chastity belt and it never really mattered anyways. Holden reveals to Patrick that the circumcision inspection was a prank done out of revenge.
7"Look Who’s Stalking"John Harvatine IVSean LaveryJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
8"The Snow Job"John Harvatine IVMaggie MonahanJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
9"The A-Moooo-Zing Race"John Harvatine IVAmy ReedJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)
10"Unchained Monarchy"John Harvatine IVTom RootJune 12, 2020 (2020-06-12)

Production

Development

On September 27, 2018, it was announced that Hulu had given the production a series order for a first season consisting of ten episodes. The series was created by John Harvatine IV and Tom Root who were also expected to serve as executive producers. The series was produced by Stoopid Buddy Stoodios and distributed by Sony Pictures Television.[2][4] On June 18, 2020, Hulu renewed the series for a second season.[5]

Casting

Alongside the series order announcement, it was confirmed that the series' voice cast would consist of Nicholas Hoult and Luke Evans, among others.[2][4]

Reception

On Rotten Tomatoes, the first season holds an 23% approval rating, based on 13 reviews. The site's critical consensus reads, "Crass and cruel, Crossing Swords bleeds its thin premise dry".[6] Metacritic, which uses a weighted average, gives it a score of 47 out of 100, indicating "mixed or average reviews".[7]

gollark: I'm only getting the "offers" part of "CB silver/gold or nice offers".
gollark: Oh hey, four ER CB Siyat eggs. Shame I don't have slots.
gollark: I'll put up three this time.
gollark: Their trade is gone.
gollark: Well, I waited ages and didn't get the CB silver trade... now to find something else to do with my unbreedable collection.

References
  1. "Crossing Swords on Hulu Press Website". Hulu. May 25, 2020. Retrieved May 25, 2020.
  2. Andreeva, Nellie (September 27, 2018). "Hulu Orders 'Crossing Swords' Animated Series Starring Nicholas Hoult From 'Robot Chicken' Team". Deadline Hollywood. Retrieved September 27, 2018.
  3. "'Robot Chicken' team bring medieval depravity in NSFW 'Crossing Swords' trailer". EW.com. Retrieved 2020-06-16.
  4. Otterson, Joe (September 27, 2018). "Hulu Orders Animated Comedy 'Crossing Swords' Starring Nicholas Hoult". Variety. Retrieved September 27, 2018.
  5. "Solar Opposites/Crossing Swords renewed at Hulu". Retrieved 18 June 2020.
  6. https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/crossing_swords/s01
  7. https://www.metacritic.com/tv/crossing-swords
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