Behold the Kickmen

Behold the Kickmen is a football video game developed and published by Size Five Games. It was released on 20 July 2017 for Windows, Mac OS X, and Linux on the Steam platform and on the Nintendo Switch on 18 June 2020.[1]

Behold the Kickmen
Developer(s)Size Five Games
Publisher(s)Size Five Games
Programmer(s)Dan Marshall
Composer(s)Tobey Evans
EngineUnity
Platform(s)
Release
  • Windows, Mac, Linux
  • 20 July 2017
  • Nintendo Switch
  • 18 June 2020
Genre(s)Sports video game
Mode(s)Single-player 

It received mixed reception from critics, who were highly polarized in their opinions of the game's humor and gameplay.

Gameplay

The game features a football-like approximation with the rules drastically changed to incorporate some from baseball and basketball.[2] The pitch is round rather than rectangular, players score more if they kick the ball from farther away, the goalkeepers are called "goldkeepers", and the game makes a "mockery" of the offside rule.[3] However, the goal remains generally the same, to score by kicking a ball into the other player's goal.[2] The player can control one team member at a time, "charging" and "hyper-curving" the ball.[4]

Plot

The game features a story mode about a "kickman" who must solve the mystery of his father's death,[2] while rising up the ranks and dealing with a bully from another team.[5]

Development

The game began as a Twitter joke on the feed of the game's developer, Dan Marshall, saying that he wanted to create a soccer game without knowing anything about the sport.[5] After making a prototype as a "personal Game Jam", due to being "bogged down" by his current project at the time, he received surprisingly enthusiastic feedback.[3] He decided to develop said game, which took over a year to develop.[5]

The fact that the player can reveal what team members the AI would pass the ball to in order to prevent frustration was inspired by Mike Cook, an AI researcher who stated that telling the player what the AI was thinking was more important than making one that was "very, very intelligent".[6]

Marshall stated that he himself dislikes football and created the game's story mode to "share" his "disdain".[7] He said that while there was a large amount of positive reaction to the game, he also faced "genuine anger" from fans who "didn't realize it was a big joke".[7]

The game's music was composed by Tobey Evans, who incorporated "faux dubstep" and chiptune elements.[3]

Reception

The game received mixed reception from critics, with reception to it being highly divided.

Daniel Cooper of Engadget called the game "truly original" and, while calling the gameplay its "weakest element", said that it was "enormously satisfying" when it worked, saying that its price was so low that "you can't not buy it".[5] John Bridgman of Gamasutra said that the game fulfilled its goals of being both funny and engaging.[3]

Jon Denton of PC Gamer rated the game 26/100, calling the gameplay "sluggish chaos" and saying that most goals come from the "extreme ineptitude of the goldkeepers" rather than "anything resembling efficient play".[8] He called the game's humor "smug" and "run through the filter of a mild superiority complex", noting that it was not "insightful or funny".[8] Graham Smith of Rock, Paper, Shotgun criticized the AI as being poorly balanced and the gameplay "sloppy" and "erratic".[2] He also stated that he found the game's humor "off-putting" and "mean-spirited", saying that it targeted "the sport's fans" and would only appeal to those who felt "assaulted" by football.[2]

gollark: You can run any quantum computing stuff on a regular computer. It just might be unusably slow.
gollark: This is done by making it so that they require large amounts of memory (I think this is mostly an issue for FPGAs though?) or basically just general purpose computation (regular CPUs are best at this) or changing the algorithm constantly so ASICs aren't economically viable.
gollark: The ASICs do that very fast. Some currencies are designed so that ASICs are impractical.
gollark: .
gollark: Mining isn't guessing primes, mostly it's just bruteforcing a hash with a particular number of leading zeros

References
  1. Craddock, Ryan. "Behold The Kickmen Brings A Comedic Take On The Beautiful Game To Switch". Nintendo Life. Retrieved 16 June 2020.
  2. Smith, Graham (2017-07-20). "Behold The Kickmen can't escape the problems of football games". Rock, Paper, Shotgun. Retrieved 2017-08-08.
  3. Bridgman, John. "Dan Marshall rewrote all the rules for Behold the Kickmen". Retrieved 2017-08-08.
  4. O'Connor, Alice (2016-07-13). "Silly Football In The Swindle Dev's Behold The Kickmen". Rock, Paper, Shotgun. Retrieved 2017-08-08.
  5. "A Twitter joke gave rise to a truly original soccer game". Engadget. Retrieved 2017-08-08.
  6. Good, Owen S. (2017-08-03). "How did someone who doesn't like sports still make a good sports video game?". Polygon. Retrieved 2017-09-10.
  7. Donlan, Christian (2017-07-24). "Behold the Kickmen: the football game from a developer who doesn't like football". Eurogamer. Retrieved 2017-08-08.
  8. "Behold The Kickmen review". pcgamer. Retrieved 2017-08-08.
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