Masaru Emoto™

Masaru Emoto™[1] (22 July 1943-17 October 2014[2]) was a Japanese author and peddler of pseudoscience, most famously the idea that thoughts and words directed at water change the aesthetic appeal of the water crystals.

It is currently unknown what kind of effect this pose has on water crystals.
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Pseudoscience
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He held a "Doctorate" in alternative medicine from a correspondence course from the Open International University of Alternative Medicine,[3][note 1] and therefore called himself "Doctor."

Experimental protocol (or lack thereof)

Emoto's work consisted of people talking to bottles of water, saying either "good" words or "bad" words. Later on the water was frozen and put under high powered microscopes so photographers take pictures of nice looking crystals for the water that had "good" words and take pictures of ugly looking crystals for the water that had "bad" words. Any nice looking crystals in "bad" word water or ugly crystals in "good" word water were, of course, ignored. With the photos in hand, Emoto then claimed he had discovered a psychic link between water and humans.

Emoto's work has largely been neglected by mainstream scientists, although a few have pointed out the obvious lack of controls and subjective nature of the photographing processes that completely negate his claims. He also refused James Randi's million-dollar prize to redo the experiment with proper double-blind conditions. Emoto did not particularly care about science though; he was primarily interested, of course, in selling his books, promoting his expensive "seminars" and "lectures", and selling overpriced water.

Emoto's take-home message was that the battle for water's soul is a reflection of humanity at large, and that water crystal conversion to the good side of the force is a global imperative.

“”In my lectures, I talk about how water and water crystals are 10 percent goodness, 10 percent evil, and the rest — 80 percent — is opportunist. When the 10 percent that is goodness and the 10 percent that is badness in water crystals fight, then the 10 percent that is goodness wins and overpowers evilness. So, if the 10 percent of goodness would carry past that fight to the 80 percent that is opportunist, than the 80 percent will follow the goodness, not the badness. Likewise, 10 percent of people are positive and believe in this, 10 percent are skeptical, and the other 80 percent are looking to see who wins![4]


Of course, one minor problem with this thinking is that crystalline water is more commonly known as ice or snow.

The power of nationalism over water

The effect of the South African national anthem on water crystals.
gollark: You are making convoluted and ridiculous rationalizations for randomly banning someone.
gollark: LyricLy leaked staff messages and randomly banned heavpoot.
gollark: It's OBVIOUSLY you.
gollark: > except I clearly won't randomly punish themYou JUST showed that you WOULD randomly punish heavpoot.
gollark: There is NOTHING STOPPING YOU.

See also

Notes
  1. OIAM also supplied George J. Georgiou with one of his "degrees"

References
  1. "The name 'Masaru Emoto' has been registered as a trademark in 40 countries." Archived copy from April 18, 2012.
  2. Legendary Water Researcher, Author and Emissary for Peace Dr. Masaru Emoto Passes Away at the age of 71 Tokyo, Japan (PRWEB) October 20, 2014.
  3. Kiesling, Stephen (May–June 2009). "Latest message from water: Is Dr. Emoto a spiritual Madoff?". Spirituality & Health. Archived from the original on 2014-08-26. Retrieved 2014-08-21.
  4. 2005 interview of Emoto by Ray Hemachandra in New Age Retailer, here, page 4.
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