Wesley Willis/Quotes

This is the song that I'm going to be singing to you which is called "Jesus Is The Answer."
Number One! I'm gonna do this song again!
Number Two! I'm gonna do this song again, all the way up your ass!
And Number Three! I'm gonna fuck your ass up like in a car crash!
And Number Four! I'm gonna fuck you up like a goddamn accident!
'And Number Five! JESUS IS THE ANSWER!

—Intro to "Jesus Is The Answer," from 1995's Spookydisharmoniousconflicthellride

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God gave me this rock music career to keep my busy.
Back in 1991, I used to hit old people with folding chairs.
Suddenly, I moved to the north side of Chicago, Illinois in the summer of 1992.
It made a rock star out of me at last.

—"I'm The Daddy Of Rock & Roll," from 1998's SMD Promotions

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MC: "Hey Wesley, this is the High Times benefit, I bet everybody's wondering, do you smoke weed? Do you smoke weed, Wesley Willis?"
Wesley: "I don't smoke that fucking weed. I have that song on that Mr. Magoo Goes To Jail Volume 1 CD. It's out in Chicago. I got 950 copies waiting for me at Masterdisk."
MC: "I thought you wrote a song called 'I Smoke Weed.'"

Wesley: "I did write that song called 'I Smoke Weed.' I wrote a song called 'I Killed Your Father Last Night.' It's on the CD called Mr. Magoo Goes To Jail Volume I. It's just only a rock song. I wouldn't kill anybody's father any goddamn way. It's just a fucking rock song. Thank god. I love to write rock songs because I'm a rock and roll gangster rapper." (this goes on for another minute)

—Banter at the end of "I Can't Drive," from The Wesley Willis Fiasco's Live E.P.