Wall Banger/Live-Action TV/Nickelodeon Sitcoms

Nickelodeon has always had hits in running, in the 90's and today. However, these moments are examples of what make teens and adults want the classics (and Drake and Josh) back so badly.

• iCarly

Drake and Josh

• "Merry Christmas, Drake and Josh". First, the police arrested Josh when he was the one who called him. Sure, they thought he was one of the party crashers, and he was in the party area, but it still wasn't very nice of them.^[1] It gets worse. When Drake and Josh take Mary Alice and her foster family to the parade, Officer Gilbert tricks Crazy Steve into blowing their cover (they can't tell her about the vote ahead of time because that could influence their decision). After that, Mary Alice and co. will not trust Drake and Josh no matter how hard they try. Some of it was Played for Laughs, but to ridiculous measures.
  • Everyone insists on calling the chimpanzees monkeys. Why? Just have the characters call them chimpanzees; it's not hard at all.
    • Chimps on TV are pretty much always just called monkeys. They're one of the de facto animals used to get across the word "monkey." If it's not enough, they could have called them "chimps," but this happens far more often than just here.
• "Theater Thug". Pretty much the entire second half of the episode is Josh getting arrested EVEN THOUGH HE REPEATEDLY STATES THAT HE'S NOT THE THUG. And let's not forget the end, where the real thug shows up, and Drake tries to take him down, but he escapes. Then when the cops arrive, Josh gets arrested-AGAIN-and the episode ends. This episode took his Butt Monkey status to ridiculous lengths. Not cool.
  • Actually, it's worse. The theater thug doesn't escape before Josh gets arrested. He escapes because the cops arrested Josh instead of him. Basically he and Josh were fighting or something and the police run in and a grab Josh, letting the theater thug go.
• In "The Affair", Drake and Josh find out that Walter is seeing another woman and start to believe that he's having an affair. When they finally catch him with her in a restaurant, they drive her away by dumping food on her and they feel they've accomplished something. However, their victory is cut short when Walter irritably points out that the woman is the head a news program called "Good Morning, Today" which, according to Walter, is dubbed the number one news program in America, and how she wants to elevate his position as weatherman to a higher status by making him become the weatherman on her show, which could have been the start of a better life for him and his family. Walter then punishes his sons for having this chance blown, by having pour food all over themselves. Now, okay, you can argue that they deserve to be punished for their actions, but the problem is, the whole thing is Walter's fault - he didn't tell them why he was out so late and why he was being so secretive. If he had told them the truth in the first place, odds are, none of this would have happened! To make matters worse, it's clear that he understands that they thought he was having an affair when he confronts them, and he doesn't even acknowledge that he's mostly to blame!
• In The Battle of Panthatar, Drake is kicked out of a spoiled rich jerk's birthday party because he was kissing the guys girlfriend. Okay, but when Josh, like an asshole, forced Drake to giving the rich guy his AUTOGRAPHED ABBEY ROAD BEATLES ALBUM, the rich kid STILL DOESN'T INVITE THEM IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Megan for no reason, is allowed in and doesn't help them get in. At least they got the album back.
  • What pissed this troper off was the fact that when the rich kid catches Drake kissing his girlfriend, he dis-invites Josh too! For no reason other than he's Drake's step-brother! With Friends Like These......

Zoey 101

• In "Wrestling", the Jerkass Coach Keller forces Zoey to join the wrestling team against her will, and has her go through two weeks of training and no wrestling at all, up to the time of the big wrestling tournament. In that tournament, boys keep forfeiting against her, not wanting to wrestle a girl. In the final round of the tournament, when Zoey is about to battle a very tough guy named Chuck Javers, the coach subs her out for another guy named Scott Richmond, claiming Zoey is injured when she's perfectly fine. When Zoey demands an explanation, Keller tells her that this was the whole reason he put her on the team-because he knew the guys would forfeit and not want to wrestle a girl, and he could get Scott into the final round without tiring him out. Even then, Zoey protests against this, and ends up wrestling against Chuck (who knocks her flat in four seconds). So in short, he forced Zoey onto the team solely so he could use her to cheat in the tournament, only to have her end up getting slammed anyway. That's pretty low (and would be illegal in real life, if i'm not mistaken).
• The episode "Anger Management". At first it's not so bad, with the gang getting back at Logan for some Jerkass behavior, but then it goes viral and everyone in the world hates him. As if that wasn't bad enough, when he justifiably gets mad at them, he is forced to go to some anger management class. Then he is told he will be able to leave the class if he completes the difficult task of not getting mad for a week. When the gang hears this, they feel that his Dad "bailed him out"(nevermind how difficult that would be), so they sabotage him so he will have to go back to the class. That alone is a wall banger, but the pranks they use would anger a normal person (honey on his bike, a paint bomb in his room...etc) So lemme get this straight...we're expected to believe that only a person with a short temper would be mad at these things and that they're exposing his anger problems?! Who wouldn't react like he did at having your whole room covered in paint? Are we supposed to believe that anyone who reacted like that has anger problems? The worst part? They succeed and he has to go back to class - and to top it all off, at no point do they apologise for their earlier actions!

Victorious

• "The Birthweek song" starts with Tori trying to find a birthday present for Trina. Andre suggests she sing a song to her. Tori does, but Trina still wants a real present. Not flattering for Trian, but okay. But then Trina sells the song to a recording company, saying she sang it. She can't sing, so she calls in Tori to sing. It looked like Trina and Tori would make up, but then Beyoncé calls and says she likes the song. The producers run out of the room all excited, leaving Tori, Trina and Andre literally in the dark. The ending was so random that it felt like it was written at the last minute.
• The clips of her phone with her posting a blog of her day. It shouts, "hey teens, we're hip," but is useless to the story because it basically summarizes the scene that just took place. And it's on the screen for too long; anyone with basic reading skills can read the sentence in three seconds, but it shows for a full fifteen.
• André and Robbie in "The Bird Scene". Basically, André has signed up for ballet and Beck teases him about it. You'd think that this would be a good time for André to say: "Screw you, I like ballet", but no. Instead, he signed up purely for the sake of meeting girls. Robbie joins him. As it turns out, all the other people in ballet class had that exact same idea, making it a sausage fest. Then a girl comes in, and they pretty much smother her with their bodies. Later, Robbie and André dance to impress the girl, which ends with them accidentally getting kicked in the groin by one another. The rest of the gags are just them walking in pain. The whole thing is not funny, it's just stupid... For the record, though, I've loved every single episode since that one.
  • Actually, that whole episode is a walking Wall Banger, seeing as Tori is brought to near-mental breakpoint by being unable to do the Bird Scene, even paying out for old-timey clothes and a real bird for the scene, thinking that is what she got wrong, only for it to turn out that it wasn't about the scene but about believing in oneself. That's right, the one thing she did wrong was say 'So, how'd I do?' That's not how drama works. Oh, and as well as that, all of her friends were banned from telling her what she did wrong. This episode is just a resounding, echoing 'NO' in the dark for eternity.
• "A Film by Dale Squires" was a pretty decent episode, up until the last scene. Tori, Jade, Cat and Andre have all paid Andre's cousin to attack Dale Squires on national television. She has a cue, and is ready to go up, until Dale admits that he feels guilty about what he has done, and gives Tori and co the credit they deserved. The four try to stop Andre's cousin from getting at Dale, asking her to abort, but she goes on anyway. As she pounds at Dale, Tori tries to suggest them save him...but instead, they decide to go out for waffles, and the episode ends as Andre's cousin continues to lash out and fends off the security guards. That scene was pretty abrupt.
• "Beck's Big Break". Tori gets Beck fired from his part in a movie. That's one thing, but why is what puts it here. The lead star removes Beck after Tori attempted to correct his line that he was told was incorrect simply because she is his friend. The actress was flat-out obnoxious, but karma pays up when she gets removed from the film after getting shot in the hand after Tori tries to get Beck his part back.
• As awesome as Freak the Freak Out was, there was one bothersome part at the very end. While Trina (who just had her wisdom teeth taken out, need I mention) is in a tussle with Hayley and Tara (which is unsafe on its own, never mind in those situations), Mr. Vega comes in after having returned from Santa Barbara. He watches them for a few seconds, and what does he do? He calls out to his wife, tells her to get back in the car, takes his suitcase and leaves. Poor Trina...for the most part, that was so weird and out of nowhere that it just wasn't necessary.
  • Don't forget the reason why they went to Santa Barbara in the first place: They wanted to get out of having to take care of Trina in the first place, leaving the task to Tori. Add to the fact that they outright stated that they wouldn't care if Tori came back from a foreign country without Trina, it's a mystery that they're not seen as Abusive Parents.
• The new episode "Helen Back Again" has Trina almost get kicked out of Hollywood Arts. Tori decides to make a plan to get her to stay in. This is after she's a complete Jerkass to Tori, assuming Tori got kicked out instead of her, talking down to her, and then making a food she(Trina) likes and talking like that should cheer her(Tori) up. She's also shown to not have talent. I know she's her sister but after her being a jerk so much no one would blame Tori if she just let her get what's coming to her.
• The "Breakfast Bunch" episode. Yes, it was a homage to The Breakfast Club and had a few funny moments, but otherwise, it was just a poorly written episode that had characters say random lines from the movie out of context, had a whole scene of the gang eating tacos and acting like it was their first time having sex and/or doing drugs, and had the Jerkass Vice Principal Dickers. Plus, the ending with the panda bear and the balloon... Yes, you read that right. C'mon, Dan, you can write better than this.
• The subplot of "How Trina Got In" (also known as "The Squid and the Coconut") falls into this. After Tori and Robbie have finished chopping up squid to Work Off the Debt that they owe Mrs. Li after being unable to pay, Robbie accidentally knocks a bunch of plates over, causing them to break. You'd think Tori would help him, but instead she runs off and leaves Robbie to face Kwakoo. At the end, he's alone massaging his feet. Normally I can put up with Tori's attitude problems (and i'm used to expecting this stuff from Dan at this point), but this time it was rather selfish.
• This one really goes without saying, but many people think "April Fools Blank" is one, because it's basically 23 and a half minutes of nonsensical weirdness that seems to have no point at all.

Big Time Rush

• Big Time Concert. While it has the whole inconsistency factor with the repeated plot changes, that was tolerable, but the last ten minutes is when it gets cheesy. The whole part with the boys being kidnapped, taken as hostages in a warehouse and they can't call for help, I found it really corny. Seriously, you'd expect Gustavo and Kelly to call the police upon noticing the boys' disappearance, unless (god forbid) Hawk and Rebecca used the boys' phones to tell them not to worry about anything (like Nora did in the iCarly special iPsycho). So Carlos manages to free himself, allowing him to save the other three, and they find a ride to the concert with Sebastian (who used to be Hawk's butler). Then, Hawk exposes the boys' absence to the crowd, who boos Gustavo and Kelly and begins to abandon the music box. Just when it looks like Gustavo is going to go bankrupt and lose his studio and his mansion, the boys arrive to save the show, and the crowd comes back in excitement as if none of that had happened. While Sebastian gets his CMoA in this part, I really think the episode would have been better without it.
• The season 2 opener, "Welcome Back, Big Time". For the most part, what I hated about it was how Jo almost dumped Kendall. For one, Jo said she didn't even like Jett, and likes Kendall instead. But then, she tells Jett that he's really gifted, says to Kendall that she and Jett aren't a thing, and is about to make up with Kendall, but then tells him to forget about her after Jett says she's really gifted. And then she doesn't come back to Rocktoberfest until Kendall decides to sing "Till I Forget About You" (which Jo's absence made him want to do). I hated the episode because it just didn't feel right like that. Yeah yeah, Kendall was being mean too by interrupting her kiss scenes (especially after he said he'd take it cool), but still.
• At the beginning of Big Time Guru, Gustavo tries to KILL the boys after Kendall says that he should take a chill pill. And when James tells him to "chillax", Gustavo screams, "I AM chillaxed!" And when he finds their knives, Buddha Bob has to relax him with the pinch. And then later in, he becomes furious at the fake producers Kendall hired who criticize his mellow song. So yeah.

Other

• On Nickelodeon's show Kenan and Kel, there was an episode where Kenan discovers that Kel has a genuine talent for painting when seeing his work at the local Rec Center - so much that an elderly man requests that Kel take part in an Art Auction at his manor. Kenan, smelling an opportunity to make money, makes Kel paint until the day of the auction. While at the auction, the elderly man comes up to Kel and says that "(he's) always been his favorite artist since he was a child." It's then that Kenan realizes that the old guy is talking about the artist Carl Krimble (Kel's name is Kel Kimble); he then tells that old man that he's made a mistake. Instead of apologizing, the elderly man goes into a fit and accuses Kenan and Kel of scamming him. Everyone then acts like Kenan and Kel were trying to scam the old man - NOT ONE PERSON says "Wait a minute, why would they say he's made a mistake if they were trying to scam him?" The worst part? It's Played for Laughs.
• The bench episode from Game Shakers proves that this trope still exists in modern nick sitcoms. Babe and Kensy decide to create an advertisement their company. When they create it, however, the citizens keep blocking the advertisement, forcing the crew to constantly shoe away pedestrians. Why do the the people block the advertisement? The game shakers went with a freakin bench(!) in an urban environment! Kensy constantly tells the crew to get rid of the bench, but Babe refuses. The worst part? They " solve " the conflict by bringing the bench in their workspace, rendering it moot.
  • This even isn't the last time an advertisement blunder is committed on the show. In " Clam Shakers " Babe and Kensy want to advertise their " game " ( It's a shooty skies knockoff ) on an electric billboard on a skyscrapper. Problem is, another company is advertising baby products on the building. So, do the Game Shakers consult the company to let them take down the ad for their own for a while? Nope! Babe goes with an over the top and life endangering plan to forcefuly take down the advertisement. She uses a drone to fly her self, hundreds of feet off the ground, to use a remote to inject her own advertisement.

---

Back to Wall Banger

1. ↑ That kind of thing happens in Real Life. It doesn't make it any better in fiction...