< The Joker

The Joker/Funny


"But I just draw! I can't write!"
"Write?! It's a comic book!"

Joker: Ice cream! Bomb pops! Hey, kid! How about some ice cream?
Kid: Ice cream? But it's freezing out here.
Joker: Well then, how about a violent abduction instead?
(Joker's goons grab the kid and stuff him into the ice cream cart headfirst)
Joker: Ah, what the heck. Take both, my treat. It's the season of giving, after all.

  • Another for the Joker, from Joker: Devil's Advocate:

Amoral Attorney: I don't want them to think you're guilty. The city's case is weak. You could walk if they can't pin the murders on you.
Joker: It's a no-brainer, Milt. Just prove I'm crazy and it doesn't matter if they connect me to some poisoned stamps.
Amoral Attorney: Oh, it's that easy to show insanity?
(Joker slams face into a metal table without the slightest hesitation; brings it up to show an unflinching grin and a face speckled with blood)
Joker: It's THAT easy.

Joker (After being threatened to drop out of the race for Governor by Two-Face): Who does he think he is? Who two people does he think he is? Trying to influence an election... this ain't Florida!

Harley Quinn: "I can't believe he's gone."
Joker: "I can't believe he didn't die when he first dressed like a giant bat and jumped off the roof."

  • This quote from Batman: Cacophony:

"All I want is to have a good time! And to annoy Batman whenever possible. And to one day murder Batman and defile his carcass sexually. And a pony."

  • Lest we forget of a certain magic trick.
  • John Arcudi's "Auteurism" (Legends of the Dark Knight #162-63) has several of these for Mistah J, but the crowning one has to be this line he delivers to a henchman who - surprise, surprise - thinks that Joker's latest plan makes no sense.

"If I explained it in terms that a fly could understand, maybe the fly can explain it to you."

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