The Cabin in the Woods/Funny

• In the film's opening, the sheer amount of time it takes for Curt to realize that Dana is Not Wearing Pants.
  • He knows. He just doesn't make it a priority to tell her.
• Also in the opening, Curt's and Jules' PSA parody.

(Jules is holding complex textbooks)
Curt: Where did you learn about this stuff?
Jules: From you, okay? I learned it from watching you!

• The evil unicorn. Just...the evil unicorn.
• The clown, disturbing as it may have been.
• The stoner character Marty remaining "sober" while everyone else succumbs to the mind-control chemicals.

"And that makes...what kind of sense?"

• The merman.

"Oh, come on..."

• • Angry Molesting Tree
• Dana making out with Holden.

Dana: I've never done anything like this before
(Dana looks away, and takes a more serious tone)
Dana: Well...not never.

• • Of course, this turns into Fridge Horror when you realize she only said that because she's being forced in the Virgin role, despite not actually being a virgin.
• A lot of the quips between the villains, particularly when they're making fun of Mordecai, the crazy gas station hick.
  • In a later scene, some Japanese school girls exorcise the spirit that was attacking them. Sitterson is not amused.

"FUUUUCK YOOOOOUUUU!!! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

• "He's got a husband bulge."
• The whiteboard during the betting pool scene. One imagines it would have been a very different movie if "Sexy Witches", "Angry Molesting Tree", or "Snowman" had been chosen.
• Regarding an antique gas pump:

Curt: I'm thinking this thing doesn't take credit cards.
Marty: I don't think it knows about money. I think it's barter gas.

• Marty's first appearance in the movie - driving through town while smoking an enormous bong in the middle of his car.
  • Then it turns out said bong is collapsible to disguise it as a thermos. AND LATER MARTY USES IT AS A WEAPON!
• The Black Comedy in Curt driving a motorcycle to jump over the gorge while inspiring heroic music starts to play...and then crashing ineffectually into the electrified barrier and falling into the gorge, hitting the barrier again and again and again as he falls.
  • On the same note, when the facility workers are all shown celebrating to REO Speedwagon, all while Dana is being brutally attacked on the monitors in the background.
• Patience sticking her head out of the elevator and looking at the blood-soaked hallway with an "Aw gee, I missed all the fun" expression on her face.
  • And the second team of security sent to the elevator room. The run in, blood everywhere and silence. Zombies look up. A beat. *ding!*
  • On the subject of zombies: After the first attack by them, Dana insists on going to search for Jules. She opens the cabin door...only to be confronted with Matthew Buckner, who casually tosses her Jules' severed head.
• "Good work, zombie arm."
• "Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of -- am I on speakerphone?"
  • Even funnier is when Mordecai tries another evil-sounding rant, pauses, and says, "I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?" While Hadley unconvincingly tries to deny it, Sitterson is laughing hysterically.
• When Jules and Curt are about to have sex, we see all of the male scientists ogling her. Hadley and Sitterson send them all away...so they can watch themselves.
  • As this is going on, Truman looks on it all rather distastefully. Then he slowly inches his way back in front of the monitor while strategically covering his crotch.
• The conversation between Marty and Mordecai.

Mordecai: You know damn well what war I'm referring to.
Marty: Was it the one where the Blues fought the Greys? Maybe it was brother against...brother?
Mordecai: *stares menacingly*
Marty: *walking away* I heard the railroads will be coming here soon. It's going to be the next big thing. Streets paved with actual street!

• The results of the workroom bet, split between maintenance and Ronald the intern, complete with the latter jumping and celebrating.
  • The fact that "Zombies" and "Zombie Redneck Torture Family" were two entirely different categories.
    • "It's like elephants and elephant seals."
• When they find the artifact:

Marty: Ok, I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand, here. DON'T READ THE MYSTERIOUS LATIN!
(Ominous Whispers): Read the Latin................out loud......

• Marty's mighty resistance to mind control.

Marty: I'm going for a walk.