Rules of the Internet

"Rules of the Internet" is a loose collection of rules and aphorisms spawned by the infamous 4chan Image Board. Depending on who you ask, they are either not meant to be taken seriously or very Serious Business. Most of them don't apply except for within the community they originated from, and the list is continuously changing but through Memetic Mutation a handful have become well known.

Some of the more notable rules^[1] include:

• Rule -1: /b/ is not your friend.
• Rule 1: You don't talk about /b/.
• Rule 2: You don't talk about /b/.
• Rule 3: We are Anonymous.
• Rule 4: We are legion.
• Rule 5: We do not forgive, we do not forget.
• Rule 6: There is no rule 6.
• Rule ⑨: There is a Touhou version of it. No exceptions.
• Rule 14: Do not argue with trolls - it means they win.
• Rule 16: If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.
• Rule 19: The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
• Rule 20: Nothing is to be taken seriously. EXCEPT RULE 71!
• Rule 29: On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents.
• Rule 30: There Are No Girls on the Internet
• Rule 32: Any line can be interpreted with a sexual connotation. No exceptions.
• Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.
• Rule 35: If no porn is found of it, it will be made.
• Rule 36: No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.^[2]
• Rule 42: Always bring your towel. No exceptions.
• Rule 43: The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
• Rule 47: !???
• Rule 48: Profit
• Rule 50: A Crossover, even improbable ones, will eventually happen in Fan Art, Fan Fiction, or official release material. No exceptions!
• Rule 61: Chuck Norris is the exception to Rule 63, no exceptions or else.
• Rule 62: It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.
• Rule 63: For every given male character, there is a female version of that character (and vice-versa). Including Chuck Norris. Rule 61 is lying to you. And there is always porn of that character. No Exceptions.
• Rule 64: Don't copy that floppy.
• Rule 71: The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
• Rule 72: Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.
• Rule 75: Rule 75 is a lie. OH SHI-
• Rule 77: The internet makes you stupid.
• Rule 78: There is a Wiki of it. No exceptions.
• Rule 85: If it exists, there is a pony of it. No exceptions.
• Rule 103: For every song, there is a Vocaloid version of it.
• Rule 104: If there is not a Vocaloid version of it, there will be. No exceptions.
• Rule 105: Rule 71 is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
• Rule 123: 456789.
• Rule 177: Tropicana tastes like rainbow. No exceptions.
• Rule 169? Nah, I'd rather have 2 69s.
• Rule 190: The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works.
• Rule 269: Yeah, finally...2 69s!
• Rule 284: What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.
• Rule 647: Keldeo is a pony.
• Rule 9001: It's over 9000!!! No exceptions.

"Rules of UseNet"

An older set of such rules exists, generated well before 4chan by the denizens of UseNet. Among its entries are:

• Rule nonumber: There are no hard-and-fast Rules on UseNet, only Guidelines, which are more or less strictly enforced (and differ) from group to group; this is why it's generally wise to read any group for a bit before ever posting to it.
• Rule 0: There is no C*b*l. There is, however, a net-wide conspiracy designed solely to lead Dave Hayes to believe that there is a C*b*l.
  • Corollary: here are no pods.
• Rule 1: Spellling and grammer counts. So do grace, wit, and a sense of humor (the latter two are different), as well as a willingness to meet odd people, but these are lesser considerations.
• Rule 2: The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it. (John Gilmore)
• Rule 3 ("Why 3?" "Because we felt like it"): For every opinion there is at least one equally loud and opposing opinion.
• Rule 4 (Godwin's Rule): Any off-topic mention of Hitler or Nazis will cause the thread it is mentioned in to an irrelevant and off-topic end very soon; every thread on UseNet has a constantly-increasing probability to contain such a mention.
  • Quirk's Exception: Intentional invocation of this so-called "Nazi Clause" is ineffectual.
  • Case's Corollary: If the subject is Heinlein or homosexuality, the probability of a Hitler/Nazi comparison being made becomes equal to one.
• Rule 5 (Reimer's Reason): Nobody ever ignores what they should ignore on Usenet.
• Rule 6: Don't post to misc.test unless you understand the consequences. (Eddie Saxe)
• Rule 7-B: There is no topic so thoroughly covered that no one will ever bring it up again.
• Rule 9: It's always September, somewhere on the Net.
  • Dave Fischer's Extension: 1993 was The Year September Never Ended.
• Rule 17: Go not to UseNet for counsel, for they will say both 'No' and 'Yes' and 'Try another newsgroup'.
• Rule $19.99: The Internet isn't free. It just has an economy that makes no sense to capitalism. (Brad 'Squid' Shapcott)
• Rule 27: In cyberspace, everyone can hear you scream. (Gary Lewandowski)
• Rule 29: No rational discourse can happen in a thread cross-posted to more than two newsgroups.
• Rule 37: Read the thread from the beginning, or else. (Faisal Nameer Jawdat)
• Rule 108 (from the soc.motss FAQ): "What will happen to me if I read soc.motss?" "In general, nothing. (You may be informed or infuriated, of course; but that's a standard Usenet hazard.)"
• Rule 666: Old alt groups never die. They don't fade away nicely, either.
• Rule 90120: Applying your standards to someone else's post will result in a Flame War.
• Rule x^2: FAQs are asked frequently. Get used to them.

Rules of the Internet is the Trope Namer for:

• Rule 34
• Rule 50
• Rule 63

Tropes associated with the Rules of the Internet:

• Complete Monster: Rule 6 says this about Anonymous.
• Crossover: Rules 50 and ⑨ (which is sufficiently enforced for Touhou to get its own page of these) Also, as much as some of us might hate it, 85. Indeed, rules 85 and ⑨ have intersected (with there being ponies of the actual Touhou characters). More recently, there have also been humanized ponies drawn in Touhou-styled outfits, or ponies cosplaying as Touhou characters.
• Epic Fail: Rule 16
• Four Is Death: Rule 4
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Rule 9001 is "It's over 9000!!! No exceptions."
• Homage: Rules 1 and 2.
• Hypocritical Humor: Rule a and Rule b. Also, Rule i.
• l33t l1ng0: Rule 0.96
• Memetic Mutation: Everywhere
• Mouthful of Pi: Rule 3.14159265358979323846
• Screw the Rules, I Make Them: Rule 9
• Shaped Like Itself: Rule 9001

1. ↑ For values of "notable" that are extremely arbitrary, but being referenced elsewhere helps
2. ↑ "Officially" Rule 51, but generally cited as Rule 36; the alternate Rule 36 is (in polite terms): "No matter how messed up what you've just seen is, there is always worse." Considering the originators of the list, this ties in quite nicely.