Regret Eating Me

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Spoon: I hope I give ya the shits, you fucking wimp!

—Spoon's last words, Dog Soldiers

The Zombie Apocalypse has you in a corner. The Wolf Man is starving and you're the closest food source. You're dinner.

There's only one thing you can do...

"I hope you choke on my intestines, asshole(s)!"

A specific Defiant to the End form of Facing the Bullets One-Liner, this is when someone who is about to be devoured makes a comment that amounts to demanding that his killers not enjoy their meal. Compare with Eat Me, where the person to be eaten intends to take more direct action to ensure they don't get much joy out of the feast.

Examples of Regret Eating Me include:

Anime and Manga

• In the Fullmetal Alchemist manga, the renegade homunculus Greed, who is about to be boiled down to his Philosopher's Stone and consumed by Father, says he hopes that the meal gives Father diarrhea.
• Medicine Melancholy, a poison doll youkai, was once captured by a man-eating plant in the Forest of Magic in the H-Doujinshi Ningyou Kakumei. While the way she cried it out was desparate, she was warning the plant that she was poisonous.
• In a Yu Yu Hakusho flashback taking place centuries before the present story, the demon Raizen happened upon a lone human woman whom he intended to devour. She revealed herself to be a "shaman cannibal", one who ate the flesh of those who died from disease, allowing her body to produce the antibodies to fight them. She offered to let him devour her, as her flesh was so ripe with disease even a demon would die. Impressed, he decides not to eat her and has a child with her who is one of Yusuke's ancestors.

Comic Books

• Marvel Zombies, Magneto: "I hope you choke on me!"
• In the comic Hsu and Chan when the title characters are cornered by man-eating bears, Hsu stuffs himself with Zingers saying "These always make me sick as a dog. This'll teach 'em to eat me!"
• The Transformers have attempted to give both Unicron and The Swarm "The worst case of indigestion they've ever had," twice apiece. It's one of longtime Transformers scribe Simon Furman's famous "Furmanisms".

Film

• The most famous moment in Day of the Dead comes when, after the zombies pull the General Ripper in half and begin eating his innards, he yells, "Choke on 'em!"
  • In a direct reference to this, Patrick does this in Dead Set. After being torn in half, he yells the famous "Choke on em!" line, then reaches down, grabs his own intestine, and yells "eat up, it's full of shit!" at the zombies.
• Dog Soldiers: "I hope I give you the shits, you fucking wimp!"
• How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman. The eponymous Frenchman (who is mistaken for Portuguese by the tribe which eats him) is supposed to ceremonially fight back but, per The other wiki's article:

In the last seconds of his life the Frenchman refuses to play along with the ceremonial script that the Tupinambas expect him to follow and instead angrily (and loudly) tells the Tupinambas that his death will not revitalize them (as his death and the subsequent cannibal feast is intended to do) but rather will doom them all to extermination.
The movie ends with a postscript that reveals that the Tupinambas were exterminated within a relatively short period of time after they killed and ate the "tasty" Frenchman.

Literature

• Robin Jarvis' Deptford Mice: in The Dark Portal, Audrey tells Jupiter to "Choke on my bones!"
• There's a short story called A Good Man, in which the title character's threat comes true and the cannibals who eat him all vomit. The moral of the story? You can't keep a good man down.
  • ...Ha ha.
• In The Silver Chair, a Talking Stag cornered by giants told them not to kill him, as he was tough and wouldn't make for good eating. The giants remark over a tender venison luncheon that the Stag was a liar, but the real horror comes when the protagonists realize that they've been eating a sentient being (the text compares one's reaction to finding out that you've eaten a baby).
• "If Brahma has me burnt, I will spit into the flames. If he has me strangled, I will attempt to bite the executioner's hand. If my throat is cut, may my blood rust the blade that does it."—Sam, Lord of Light

Live Action TV

• In The Sarah Jane Adventures, Big Bad Mrs. Wormwood exclaims to the Bane that's come to kill her, "At least I'll have the satisfaction of giving you food poisoning!"
• In the finale of Star Trek: Voyager, the future version of Katherine Janeway is assimilated by the borg queen. However, having anticipated this, she had injected herself with a virus capable of severely damaging the borg. As the queen started showing symptoms, future Janeway quipped, "Must have been something you assimilated."
• Invoked by Walter Bishop from Fringe, when he takes poison, trying to kill dangerous monster.
• When a vampire queen reveals to Helen Magnus on Sanctuary that she intends to use her as her "personal canteen," Helen spits back, "I hope you choke on it."

Video Games

• In the video game Digital Devil Saga 2, a prisoner in a Human Resources prison/factory says "Devour me and I will become more powerful than your digestive system can imagine."
• In The Legend of Zelda Ocarina Of Time, a trapped Goron who would be fed to the boss Volvagia says something like this.
  • In Twilight Princess, Chuchus (a random blob of evil jelly) leave behind jelly when defeated which you can drink for various effects. Purple jelly randomly alters your health meter, more often than not by bringing you down in hearts.
• Gil, a survivor in the video game Dead Rising, who has chosen to cope with the Zombie Apocalypse by getting hopelessly drunk - "Well I hope they can hold their liquor, because I'm soaking in it!"
• As he passes out after the party faces a powerful monster, Yuri Lowell says "I hope...you choke...on my bones."
• Used by Assault Marines fighting Tyranids in Dawn of War 2: "You will find me a sour meal, alien!"
• In Space Quest 2, if Roger Wilco gets eaten by the gigantic root monster on Labion, the game first taunts the player and then offers as consolation the fact that Wilco gave the thing horrible indigestion during the night and made it unpopular among its buddies.

Web Original

• From Homestar Runner:

Saddy Dumpington: "Hey, little girl! I just saw a baby chick choke on a worm! They both died! Isn't that great?"

Western Animation

• Grandpa Simpson in one of the Halloween episodes: "I'm gonna give your liver such a punchin'!"
  • In an episode retelling Bible stories, Bart (as King David) turns one of these into a Pre-Mortem One-Liner as he battles Goliath Jr.:

Bart/David: Hope I don't give you...heartburn! (throws an oil lamp into Goliath's open mouth)

• Said to a Planet Eater in Shadow Raiders. "Taste this world... and choke on it!
  • And the Beast Planet reply, "it's a bit spicy..."
    • Not so much a Zombie version as it is planetary version, but who can forget The Vizier's final lines from Shadow Raiders:

"And you, eater of worlds, may you taste our righteous fire... and CHOKE ON IT!! For my Planet's sake, I spit my LAST BREATH AT THEE!!!"

• Justice League has an...inversion? Except no one is threatening to eat anyone? Maybe it makes sense in Thanagarian as something other than a one-liner setup for Flash.

Kraagor:You think I'd tell you anything? Id sooner choke on your bones.
Flash: Okay by me. *makes a fist* Start with these.

• • It's actually a subtle case of Shown Their Work, as some birds of prey (like eagles) eat bones for calcium.
• In Time Squad, while Tuddrussel was being carried off by a giant fly monster, a medieval European king shouts out at him, suggesting,"When it swallows you, try to give it indigestion!"
• The animated series of Hercules, The threat is successful in stopping Typhon from eating an entire building of people. The people were lawyers and would give Typhon gas.
• King Faraday in Justice League: The New Frontier combines this trope with Taking You with Me when a T-Rex eats him and he brings a couple of active grenades with him.
• Stroker and Hoop - When Stroker is captured by a deranged cult of cannibals and cooked in a giant pot of soup, his (not) last words are "I hope you choke on my assbone."
• At one Point on Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island, a monster eats Butchy. Afterwards, he says, "Good luck trying to eat me! Crabapples cause indegestion!" He is then vomited back up.
• Played in a horrifically disgusting way in Inhumanoids: One episode ended with a particular eldritch horror that hatched from an egg and then grew by eating the eggs containing his unhatched siblings. And even eating some of his hatched siblings. When fully grown in the next episode, he had a see-thru stomach. He swallowed an Earth Corps guy, who escaped by drilling a hole in the stomach wall and oozing out along with all the other bile.

Real Life

• Truth in Television for a good number of species. Unfortunately, not for humans. While humans are quite bony, they are actually among the highest ranks on the bone to meat ratio compared to animals. According to certain sources, the top of the list is the horseshoe crab. "But crabs don't have bones!", you exclaim! That's the trick! Crabs are all meat!
  • One major evolutionary strategy is to make yourself poisonous, so you kill anything that tries to eat you. You're still dead, but your family won't be hunted by them, and if you're brightly colored to show off how poisonous you are things won't eat you out of fear of dying. Poisonous tree frogs, for example, work on this principle.
    • And then you have the non-poisonous animals that mimic the appearance of poisonous ones to trick predators into not eating them. For instance, viceroy butterflies are themselves not poisonous, but look enough like monarch butterflies (which are poisonous, thanks to gorging themselves on milkweed and similar plants during their larval stage) to deter potential predators.
      • ...Or so we used to think. However, it turns out that the monarchs are mimicing the viceroys. You see, while viceroy butterflies don't grow up on a diet of poison, they do grow up on willow trees. Ever bitten into an asprin tablet? That's pretty much how viceroys taste.
• Literately, in the case of asymptomatic carriers; infected individuals who display no symptoms. Quite a nasty shock for the devourer, especially cannibals of the same species.