Pygmy
"Quote fascist tyrant, lunatic emperor Adolf Hitler, He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.'"
Begins here article of Pygmy written transgressional fiction novelist, self-labeled romantic writer Chuck Palahniuk. For official record, novel publishing dated year 2009. Contain series of accounts agent number 67, operative Pygmy, young terrorist operative embedded among corrupt middle-class American family. Top priority mission Operation Havoc to destroy decadent American citizenry on behalf freedom native glorious workers' paradise homeland.
Contain Pygmy example of
- Anachronic Order
- Arc Words
- Recite elements periodic table, Niobium… nitrogen… nobelium… osmium…
- Frequent quote profound genius, gentle politic father, or appealing leader, of example, Adolf Hitler, Karl Marx, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Leon Trotsky, Mao Zedong
- Axes At School
- Brother-Sister Incest/Not Blood Siblings: Operative Pygmy desire reproductive facilities with cat sister.
- Calling Your Attacks
- Striking Cobra Quick Kill maneuver: Collapse target windpipe. Render instant quick dead.
- Flying Eagle maneuver: Simple two pointed elbows to target's chest, one-two, kam-pow and three days target vomiting both lungs inside out with massive blood, dead. Fast as easy, young child able do.
- Flying Giant Stork Death Kick: Feet hitting target, pow-pow, collapse inside of target zygomatic arch, driving bone back direct to spear brain, jab-boom, render instant dead.
- Clear Their Name
- Commie Nazis: Glorious home country, ideological heroes, include of example, Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Leon Trotsky, Evita Peron.
- Cyanide Pill: All agent back molar encasing hollow filled deadly cyanide.
- Eagle Land: America is demon spawn full empire of capitalistic evil of Type 2.
- Epistolary Novel
- Going Native: By novel conclusion, operative Pygmy abort mission. Renounce native state. Begin life as American.
- Also implied operative Magda.
- High School Dance
- Historical Hero Upgrade: In glorious homeland of operative Pygmy many famous politic leader such as Benito Mussolini, Mao Tse-Tung, etc. viewed as tyrant criminal by wicked United State society. Use as recurrent humor.
- Innocent Inaccurate: Native homeland indoctrination cause operative Narrator not understand American culture. Source much humor in operative narrative.
- For official example, ritual label as "dodge of balls".
- Intentional Engrish for Funny: Could be operative narrative present as intercepted dispatches translated into poor English. Such misfortune.
- It's Personal: Parents of operative Pygmy murdered by coward American bomb glorious capital.
- Instant Fanclub: Operative Pygmy stop slaughter vengeance at educational facility by Trevor Stonefield. Become hero of media and native teenagers. Females desire to take seed of operative.
- Law of Inverse Fertility: Part of mission namely create new operatives with moronic brainwashed victims of American education system. Operatives however not taught about "contraceptives" example condoms and morning after pills, hindering plan.
- Model United Nations
- New Transfer Student: All operatives.
- Pedophile Priest: Worship leader Reverend Tony.
- Rape and Switch: Turgid weapon of Operative Pygmy perform violent anal sodomy on clear-yellow hair bully, Trevor bitch anus.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Zoom-grab, wham-pow, swish-bang, squirt-squirt.
- Science Fair
- Self-Demonstrating Article
- Spurned Into Suicide: Trevor Stonefield.
- Squick
- Teen Superspy
- Thanatos Gambit
- Took a Level In Badass: By battle final at novel conclusion, host pig dog brother able fight many operatives with combat technique learned of Pygmy.
- Weapons Kitchen Sink: Glorious home country possess advance military tool from source many countries.
- Wild Teen Party
- X Meets Y: Chronicles of this agent have been described as of a meetings of The Invader Zim and The Grand Theft of Autos.
- ↑ Pygmy is a novel by Chuck Palahniuk published in 2009. It is the story of agent number 67, operative Pygmy, who is one of several teen superspies from a totalitarian, anti-American regime sent as foreign exchange students to an unnamed Midwestern suburb. Their plan: Operation Havoc, where they will ingrain themselves with their new families and then, in the guise of a science fair project, launch a terrorist attack dedicated to killing millions of Americans and toppling the US government. Lots of Squick, bloodshed, buxom teen girls, and violent man-rape ensue. Have fun.
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