Psych/Funny

• The Jackal has arrived from Psych. But you might not see him standing there, being so stealth-like.
• From "Weekend Warrior", a secretary informs Gus there's a 'Lt. Crunch' there to see him.

Shawn: Actually no, I've been promoted... It's Captain Crunch.

• • The only thing that makes this better is him walking in dressed in a Civil War military uniform, and then later dressing Gus up to look like he was commanding a marching band.
• Two in "Rob-a-bye Baby": when Shawn and Gus are mistaken for creeps in the park and Shawn's marriage proposal.
• This exchange from "Lassie Did a Bad Bad Thing" had this troper rolling for the tone alone:

Shawn: You really want to know my method?
Lassiter: Yes!
Shawn: It usually starts with a Holla!, and ends with a creamsicle.
Gus: And if there's time in the middle? Thundercats. Hooo!

• "I beg your pardon? My name is Black. His name is Tan. I can't believe you just made that assumption. You should be ashamed of yourself and your family."
• From "Gus Walks Into A Bank": The hostage negotiator is rambling on and on about his family and making really ineffectual promises. The hostage taker obviously gets the insincerity behind it and rolls his eyes. It's funnier than it sounds!
• This hilarious exchange between Corbin Bernsen and Nigel St. Nigel-

Corbin: What kind of a sicko goes commando under another man's robe?
Nigel: (Grins)

• Also, the time Shawn was trying to alert the police to a chop shop by faking a vision and describing it like a scene from a horror movie.

Shawn:Victims! I see victims! It's HORRIBLE! Body parts strewn all about! Fluids spewing in every direction!
Vick:Oh, dear God!
O'Hara:Is this some kind of serial killer?
Shawn:I see the victims' names! Accord! Look out!
Gus:Get outta there!
Shawn:Escalade! Don't let him in the door! Oh, Camry! You were too young to go.
O'Hara:Are we talking about cars?

• Shawn sending Gus (note: black guy) into a tanning salon as part of an investigation, and Gus actually attempting to make that fly.
• Gus' list of rules for going into a supposedly haunted, abandoned mental hospital. These rules include refusing to be the first person to enter a room or the last person to leave a room (which, considering it's just him and Shawn, is a logical impossibility.)
  • Also from that episode, Shawn and Gus running and screaming like little girls from the (alleged) haunted sorority house. When Juliet comes out after them, Shawn tries to act all cool and collected and says he and Gus are going to compare notes-till Gus blows his cover by speeding away in the car.
• Whenever someone mistakes Gus for Bud from "The Cosby Show"
• Gus trying to distract a woman by saying he lost his cat ("Mr. Pickles!") while Shawn snoops around in her house-pausing to eat some cupcakes along the way.
• Shawn giving words to the contestants of the "Spellinng Bee".

Shawn: Banana.
Contestant: [in disbelief] Could you repeat that?
Shawn: Yes. Banaanaaaaa.

• Shawn convinces Gus to dodge security lasers in "Extradition: British Columbia":

Shawn: Those are Canadian lasers!

• In the small town of Dual Spires, none of the townspeople understand Shawn's pop culture references. Eventually, out of desperation, he asks what shows they have watched. It's revealed that the only show people watch is Everwood, so Shawn proceeds to make references to that.
• In "Ferry Tale", when Shawn and Gus come upon the tied-up guard, Shawn announces, with portentious gravitas, "This is a prison break!", you can distinctly see the (still tied) guard make a "well duh!" expression.
• After the emotionally draining events of the Season 5 Finale, Lassiter remarks about how it would take more than that to effect him. However, as he's walking down the stairs alone after this declaration, he pauses and the audience is expecting him to show some kind of reaction to all the things that has happened thus far, but he just shakes his head a little and then goes on his way. The scene then changes to Shawn and Juliet having a touching moment alone in an unused interrogation room, ending with Shawn kissing Juliet's hand... and then the camera pans out and we see that Lassiter was watching from the other side of the mirror, completely shocked, and wanders away in a daze while scratching his head with what appears to be an empty coffee mug.
• In one episode, Shawn asks Henry for advice on what to do if his partner (Gus) is wrong, and he (Shawn) knows it. Henry tells Shawn to tell Gus that he's wrong, but to do so in the most respectful manner possible. Cut to much later, when Shawn confronts Gus:

Shawn: You were wrong, wrong wrong wrong! Finger guns! *points at Gus* Wrong! *makes bang sound* Wrong! *bang sound* In your weenie! *bang sound*
Gus: Shawn, put down the finger guns.

• Two moments are particularly beloved by this troper. First Season 2's 'Black and Tan' and the hilarious model powerwalk down the alley. And in Season 5's 'One, maybe two ways out', where after tracking down the elusive former spy Strobinski for the second time, they have the following conversation.

Strobinski:...could you take you shoes off? New place, [fancy name] carpets, they say its stain resistant but I don't trust them, I don't trust them at all...(Shawn and Gus begin to take off shoes), now while your at it, in the next ten seconds why don't you tell me why you're here or else I'm gonna set you both on fire without even striking a match.
Shawn: Whoa, easy buddy...
Strobinski: Hey, I just moved in here. Come on! They've got a laundry, they've got an awesome pool! Well, it's not awesome, it's circular, you can't even swim laps in it, but it's a pool. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a body decoy that works? This one's too fat, this one's too skinny. This guy's just right, but he's an eskimo.

• • All of the unnecessary powerwalks - with pumping music! - as Shawn solved the murder on stage.
• In Romeo and Romeo and Juliet, where Gus steps up big time when Shawn tries to talk his way into a children's martial art class, the words coming, in his own words, faster than he could think of them.

ShawnThat's...
Gus:Discrimination. And ageism...I'm his lawyer.
Owner:You brought a lawyer?
Shawn:I keep a lawyer on retainer at all times; there is so much injustice in the world you can't afford to leave the house without one.
Owner:Ok, well I will see you in court then.
Gus: Perfect. I'll need a statement from you, and since I intend to try this in both civil and criminal court, I'll need the police here as well. May I use your phone? Or do you only let the white people use that?
Owner: Who said anything about white people?...The words 'white people' did not come out of my mouth.
Gus: There they are again. Luckily I had my hand recorder on for that one. By the way, I am now disclosing this conversation is being recorded...Crazy? I sued 300 businesses last year alone. I sued a hot dog cart and got everything but the wheels and the buns, which I won in the civil case two months later...Now, before I start snapping evidence photos, I'm a little parched, can you tell me which one of these fountains I'm allowed to use?
Owner: That one (indicating adult fountain, then backtracks)
Gus: Death Glare

• Shawn sitting on Lassiter's lap in 9 Lives.
• From Who Ya Gonna Call: Lassiter calmly (but quite happily) shooting the cute little figurines meant for his wife, set to On the Beautiful Blue Danube.
• At least one Missed Moment of Funny in "In Plain Fright": Shawn and Gus are running around calling after a woman named Eve, and miss the chance for a WALL-E joke? For shame.
• "You Can't Handle This Episode".

Shawn: Major-General.
Felts: Yes?
Shawn: Oh, no, I don't need anything. I just like to say "Major General". [To Gus] Try it.
Gus: No, Shawn.
Shawn: Gus, just try it.
Gus: No!
Shawn: Dude, just try it.
Gus: Major General! [smiles]

• Shawn copying an imprisoned crime lord's (played by Arnold Vosloo) accent.
  • He was just trying to speak the man's language...
• This exchange when the "possessed" girl says she doesn't need any help.

Father Wesley: She's lying. To get us to leave.
Shawn: Well if I woke up and there were two random dudes and a priest standing over me, I'd lie too.

• Shawn singing "If Jesus was our manager, He would bring us all together."
• Shawn as the Vampire Lestat and Gus as Count Chocula...er, Blacula.
  • From the same episode. Corey Feldman's cameo. He turns around in dramatic slow motion, and the background music immediately transitions into "Cry Little Sister".
• In one episode, Shawn is trying to find camera blindspots, while Gus checks the camera. Gus's entire running conversation is hilarious, particularly when Shawn mutes him to hit on the assistant curator

Gus:You're muting me for the first interesting thing that's happened? [Begins imitating Shawn] Look at me, look at me! I love my hair! I can make obscure 80's references that nobody understands! Hey, know something about me? I have a motorcycle but I never seem to be riding it!

• Almost ALL of "Last Night Gus", but especially some of Woody's comments.
• One time Shawn was mocking girl's Facebook profiles saying they always pictures of themselves and a friend cheek to cheek. Gus tells him they have a picture like that on Shawn's desk.
• Most of the "Psych-outs". Timothy Omundson (Lassiter) likes having fun with these, by engaging in rampant Out Of Character Moments, such as "I overshot my maaark!", and imitating Michael Caine.
• Lassiter spends most of the episode pointing out how working with Henry is exactly like working with Shawn, and we get this exchange in the climax of "Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark".

(Henry grabs Lassiter's gun, and Shawn is hanging onto the hood of the car)

Lassiter: SPENCER, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Shawn: HEY WHICH SPENCER ARE YOU TALKING TO?!

Lassiter: IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU'RE THE SAME PERSON!!!

Shawn: ARE NOT!

• • Also from that episode, Henry's Captain Obvious moment:

Henry: Hang on, Shawn!
Shawn: Great idea, dad. I was thinking of not doing that.

• The Christmas Special:

Lassiter: OK, who keeps telling people I want snow globes for Christmas?!

• from Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead

Shawn: Dude, he took that van!
Film Girl: The mummy?
Gus: Great, now we got a mummy on the loose and the son of a bitch knows how to drive stick?

• A small exchange between Shawn, Gus, and two counterparts of themselves as older people.

Everybody: She's lying
Shawn: How'd you know she was lying?
Older duo: She's a woman!

• "You kiss her you die."
• BROS. BEFORE. HOOOOOOS!
• Lassiter's tap dancing.
• From "Indiana Shawn":

Shawn: I think what this woman is trying to say here, Gus, is that you can suck it.
Woman: No, no, I’m not saying that.
Shawn: I’m paraphrasing.
Gus: Do you even know what “paraphrase” means?
Shawn: It means “suck it please, Gus.”
Gus: It doesn’t mean “suck it please, Gus.”

• * Marlowe decides to help Lassiter out on a case. She does so by punching him and getting dragged away screaming. And naturally, Lassiter is so proud of his girl and more in love with her than ever. That scene probably belongs under Crowning Moment of Heartwarming and Crowning Moment of Awesome, too.