Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle

The Town Square
You are standing in the middle of a pretty town square in the center of a nondescript England town. Like most any other nondescript New England town, there's not much to see or do here, but maybe you'll find something amusing and enjoyable to do.


A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the square.

PUTPBAA is a spinoff of the minimalist Interactive Fiction "Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die" and the differently minimalist "Aisle". Just as in the latter, you can only make one move, and then the game ends. You have a host of other commands to choose from, and each one leads to hundreds of Alternate Endings, each one sillier than the last.

The game can be downloaded here, or played online here.

It has also been "ported" to Uncyclopedia.

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Tropes used in Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle include:

• Adventure Narrator Syndrome: Lampshaded; if you try to perform an action with a direction, you get creative bug responses. Waltz <direction>, for example, gets you the response, 'Your new name is Waltzes with Bugs'.
• All Just a Dream: Mocked with "wake".
• Anticlimax: "Yay. You jumped."
• And the Adventure Continues...
• A Winner Is You
• Becoming the Genie: Try to "Bunk In" the phone booth and see what happens.
• Bittersweet Ending: Several.
• Breaking the Fourth Wall: Try "wave".
• Cargo Ship: Invoked. Several endings imply romantic involvement between you and the booth. Others aren't so subtle.
• Cataclysm Climax: Well let's see... among the "Game Overs" include death by meteor, death by the wrath of god, death by "ICE STOOOOOOORM", death by Cosmic Horror...
• Cutting the Knot: >WIN "Okay." ***YOU WIN*** Or so it seems.
• The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: Granted, while there are over 200 endings to the game, the ending archive fails to list the word 'set' as a possible verb.
  • Remember how typing "Inventory" causes your pants to explode? Try typing Disarm Pants, Disleg Pants, Throw Pants, Remove Pants, Eat Pants, and then Deactivate Pants.
• The Dog Bites Back: There are a number of ways to kill the phone booth. Unfortunately, there are even MORE ways it can kill you instead.
• Downer Ending: Most endings end badly for the protagonist.
  • "Love Me", however, is a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
• Diabolus Ex Machina: "Cook Booth" ends with a safe falling on the protagonist.
  • "Burn Booth" ends with God smiting you with lightning.
• Everybody Lives: Many of the "Happy" endings are like this.
• Everything's Better With Princesses: Type "look southwest".
• Exact Words: Some of the endings like to misinterpret commands like "tie booth". This can be confusing to those who try synonyms like "fix booth".
• Gainax Ending: Try "Eat". Even the parser comments on how little sense it makes.
  • 'Kick' ends with a pretty Gainaxy ending too.
    • Both are references to other interactive fiction - Aisle and Losing Your Grip, I believe.
• Happily Ever After: Occasionally.
• Have a Nice Death
• Interface Screw: After using undo as a verb, no matter what keys you press the game will type out, one letter per keypress, "drive" and execute that command, to much confusion if it was an accident.
  • Even more confusing since "drive" is not one of the recognized commands in the game proper.
  • This is a shout-out to Adam Cadre's Shrapnel, which pulls the same trick.
• It's a Wonderful Failure
• The Hero Dies: A LOT
• Logic Bomb: Type in "enter self".
• Love Hurts: Choosing to "Love Booth" causes the phone booth to give you a big hug. Did I say big hug? I mean it falls on you and crushes you.
• Mind Screw: Kick the phone booth.
  • Also, look southeast. Could possibly be a reference to the IF game Shade.
  • Try to undo without performing an action first.
• Multiple Endings: The entire point of the game.
• Never Heard That One Before: Try entering "xyzzy", and a disembodied voice will complain about being summoned every time someone decides to make this reference.
• Nonstandard Game Over: Many times, you don't exactly die, but the game ends anyway.
• Noodle Incident: Type in "walk" and the phone booth somehow impregnates you. And you end up in the Gobi desert.
• Now What?
• Oh God, With The Verbing!: Type "open booth".
• Reticulating Splines: "Smock my knickers" gives you this phrase.
• Shout-Out: To lots of other Text Adventures. And pop culture. And all sorts of other stuff.
  • Many endings describe the plot of movies or books.
• Schrödinger's Gun: Depending on the ending, you may end up being a MIT student, Maxwell Smart, or even Superman.
• Sexy Discretion Shot: 'Touch booth'.
• So Once Again the Day Is Saved: Two endings cast you as Superman of all people!
• Stuff Blowing Up: Type "blow up booth" and "blow up self".
• Title Drop: Do it! You'll win! Really!
• The Many Deaths of You: Again, the whole point of the game.
• Twist Ending: Type "Wait"
• Wafer-Thin Mint: Watch what happens when you type "fill self".
• Wall of Text: You get one by typing "about".
• Weddings for Everyone: Yes, one of the endings involves a wedding. In it, you marry the phone booth.
• You Can't Get Ye Flask: Some verbs (love, undo) resolve differently depending on whether you specify the phone booth as the target or not.