Obstructive Bureaucrat/Quotes
Bob Parr: Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?
Mr. Huph: The law requires that I answer 'No'.
Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!—Bureaucrat 1.0, Futurama
There's a fine line between evil and underpaid.
This boy's born to be a bureaucrat,
to get into my tenth birthday party
born to be all obsessive and snotty
I made my friends and relations file long applications—Hermes Conrad, Futurama
Don't quote me regulations! I co-chaired the committee to review the recommendation to change the color of the booklet that regulation's in. We kept it gray!—Bureaucrat 1.0, Futurama
Sam Lowry: Excuse me, Dawson, can you put me through to Mr. Helpmann's office?
Sam Lowry: Thank you, Dawson.
Dawson: I'm afraid I can't, sir. You have to go through the proper channels.
Sam Lowry: And.. you can't tell me what the proper channels are, because that's classified information?
Dawson: I'm glad to see the Ministry's continuing its tradition of recruiting the brightest and best, sir.
I can't harbor a fugitive, I'm an un-elected official!—Nessarose, Wicked
They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy - not actually evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.—Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy's entry on Vogons
They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords,
Their doors are shut in the evening; and they know no songs.
Lords without anger or honour, who dare not carry their swords.
They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes;
They look at our labour and laughter as a tired man looks at flies.
And the load of their loveless pity is worse than the ancient wrongs,—The Secret People by G. K. Chesterton
Dr. McCoy: The bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe.
I like bats much better than bureaucrats.
The junior Mr Popplewick is not permitted to expect anyone.—Doctor Who, "Trial of a Time Lord"
The Doctor: Is there no way to expedite the procedure?
Mr. Popplewick: ... You seem to have found the one little weakness in our procedure, sir.
Mr. Popplewick: [Outraged] Expedite?! I am a senior clerk, sir. To me the procedure is sacrosanct! My work is a celebration of all that is perfect! Why speed perfection?!
The Doctor: Because your employer wants me dead.—Doctor Who, "Trial of a Time Lord"
I really don't like that dude. He's an ass-hole.'
All the documents must be signed.
One must have one's papers.
Seas go dry and suns grow cold,
But all the documents must be signed,
And don't forget that questionnaires must be answered.
Love may die and truth grow old, but
Ev'ry questionnaire must be answered.—The Secretary harmonizing in sixths with Vera Boronel, The Consul
Coop: Road test? Me? But I've got to go save the world!
Coop: * grumbles* I'll give ya "fall apart".
DMV Desk Clerk: If I started making exceptions, this whole place would fall apart.
Bureaucracy...now that is inherently evil. Worse still, it's hard to pin it on any particular bureaucrat.—Reverend Theo, Schlock Mercenary