Noodle Implements/Quotes

"The stuff that was going on was pretty grafic and I don't want to make this fic M so all I'll say is that it was sexy and Takada was using mop but was naked (you'll have to figure out how for your self rofl!)"

—Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami

<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a senior in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, two Super 8 video cassettes and one roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks.

"I should warn you before you begin that you will need a tire pump equipped with a basketball pumping needle, as well as an electric fan and a piece of old bed sheet. Now, if you are still with me we can begin."

—Recipe for Peking Duck from The Frugal Gourmet by Jeff Smith

"647. Any answer to a question involving the words 'wizard', 'station wagon' and 'wood paneling' is no."

—Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG----

Teen boy to group of friends: So okay, all we need to take with us is some glue, feathers, some petrol, and a lighter.

Friend: Cool.

—Overheard Everywhere

Homer: We need to get the plant running, using only this. (dumps out the lost and found bin)
(The next morning, Homer is shouting orders to delivery trucks...)

Lard Lad Branch Manager: How did you do that?

Homer: It doesn't matter, only that it worked.

—The Simpsons comic book, Dollars to Donuts.

"Have killed many people, many ways, guns, knives, drugs, tech attacks, once with farming equipment but never with medicine!"

—Mordin Solus, Mass Effect 2]

Kenan: "Kel, grab a clown, a flagpole, and a submarine, and meet me in my room! Come on, Buffalo Bottoms!"

Kel: "Kenan, how am I gonna carry all of that stuff? Well, I guess I could put the clown and the flagpole inside the submarine, but it still SEEMS RATHER DIFFICULT! Aww, here it goes!"

—Kenan and Kel

I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilise, street-level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve Jammie Dodgers and a fez.

—The Doctor, Doctor Who, "The Impossible Astronaut" ^[1]

"Doll with bad haircut, bottle of wine, orange sunglasses, spray cleaner, pineapple, keyboard, balloon. I'm ready to make a music video."

—Andrew Huang

[after watching a sexy movie] "I don't like getting you worked up like that. We can't actually do any of those things...You'd lose your soul and besides, I don't even own a kimono!"

—Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Enemies"

"...bring beef, tequila and condoms."

-- From an official advisor's email to Sarah Palin

—Wasn't Palin in favor of abstinence-only sex ed?

1. ↑ Of course, when you think about it, only the coffee is really strange, since the Doctor is a tea man.