New Girl/Funny

• The montage of Schmidt's various Douchebag Jar filling acts during "Story of the fifty".
• Jess explains that while most people do the chickens dance one way and demonstrates with the more common motions, she likes to do a peck because it's more realistic.
  • The gang doing the chicken dance in slow motion.
• Winston passionately singing along to the Wicked soundtrack on the way to Mexico.
• Winston pretending to be gay so Nick's two bickering girlfriends would leave.

Tell them, Nick. Tell them how it really goes down in apartment 4-D!

• "I was gonna go milk my cows with my bucket".
• "Is it weird that he wants me to speak in a low voice and call me Kevin?"
• Schmidt teaching Nick how to be a douche then Jess catches them in bed.

"Oh, my God, is this happening too?"

• "I love him! I wanna rub my face on his face!"
• Jess and Paul sexual role-play with her as Bette Davis and him as James Stewart.
• The landlord thinking he's about to have a 3-way with Jess and Nick.
• Why is the cast of The Social Network in our apartment?
• "You are not gonna regret this". (Gilligan Cut to Jess crying while watching Dirty Dancing)
• Schmidt doing a sexy dance while Japanese businessmen watch.
• Attempts to defrost Hank the turkey in "Thanksgiving".
• "That's second base? That means I'm not a virgin anymore."
• A stranger and his nana giving young Jess candy.
• "And my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!"
• Schmidt refusing to dress as sexy Santa Claus, Cinco de Sexy or sexy Martin Luther King.
• Schmidt pronouncing chutney as "chut-a-ney".
• Schmidt's 2007 new years resolution list.

"Find out where Winston gets his sparkle and then steal it".

• "I don't think she knows what motorboating means".
• Backslide: Two words: Tom Waits.

Schmidt: Was that true that Cece would eat me up? 'Cause I got the prime rib, yo. Carving station, sneeze guard, kids eat for free. Let's just forget that last part, though.

• Jess attempts to scare off a potential roommate by hissing at him.
• Winston's fear of the dark.