Mermaid Problem/Quotes

Brave men die a single death; cowards marry fish-head mermaids!

—Mario, The Adventures of Super Mario Bros 3

"Would it be weird for you, if I touched your fishy half? I know it would be for me..."

—Flight of the Conchords, "Mermaid"

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The Little Mermaid's Little Sister
was also partly girl and cod
though in a way which those who kissed her
found odd.
.. But which, well worth to mention,
though at first sight absurd,
I, with my fond intention,

preferred.

—Piet Hein

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"Where does the mermaid hide her purse?"

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Look at my face, check out my chest
Wouldn't you say clamshell bras are the best?
Lookin' around me, you'd think "Sure, I could tap that"
But as you know, I'm a merfolk
And so I'm a fish down below
You want great human looks? I've got half.

But who cares? No big deal. I want more...

—Out of Bounds, to the tune of Part of Your World

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There's that old joke about mermaids: "She's beautiful -- thirty-four, twenty-six, and seventeen-and-six a pound."

—Paul Merton, Have I Got News for You

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So over I jumped and she pulled me down down to her seaweed bed
And the pillow made of tortoise shell she placed beneath my head
She fed me shrimps and caviar upon the silver dish
From her head to her waist she was my taste but the bottom part was a fish
Oh her hair were green as seaweed her eyes were blue and pale
And I loved that girl with all my heart I vowed we'd never part

But I knew the back was not too smart cause I did not like the tail

—Shel Silverstein, "The Mermaid"

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Neither will fry, nor will fuck.

—from the Internet

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"If we see a mermaid, I'm gonna ask her where her mergina is!"

—Tina, Bob's Burgers.